ERS & F IREARMS PAGE 6 • STUDENTS PRESENT ONE-ACT PLAYS PAGE 10

~E SU EXPONENT.COM T HURSDAY, D ECEMBER 2, 2004

beat Basketball Player Jailed nk Brown Charged with Three Counts of Rape

_. Exponent archive photo int guard Frank Brown thwarts the defame in this archive photo from last ]anuary'.r game against Idaho State University. Brown ed last weekfar alledged{v sleeping with a 15-year-old on more than one occasion.

EMILY KUIPERS

Charles Brown, a junior al '\1SlJ and g point guard on the Bobcat basket-was arrested the morning of Nov. 23 'd with three counts of rape. 1 1s originall)' from Las Vegas and ry ba;,ketball game last vear, as well two g.1mes of this season.

1 allegedh admitted to Bozeman ect1Ye Sergeant Rich Mclane that he a 15-vear-old girl two times on the f :\o\. 22 after a night of drinking

1ington \\'ay apartment, and once on e also admitted that he knew the girl

... ,da\, Dec. I w.is \\'orld Along '''ith many other

ons, \ISV participated ·fut rl'COgnit1on of those rom AIDS and HI\', b1 ~ a d.11· of ,1Lti\'illes in

hen,h\, 'hared her 2001 I\ \\ith students, fa~ulty, sted publil. The essJ\' three HI\ 1 i.:tims and

tional stories.

"Under Montana law, a 15-year-old can't con-sent to sex, nor can anyone who is so intoxi-cated as to be considered 'mentally defective or incapacitated."'

The girl had come over to his apartment at 11 p.m. on the evening of the 21st and, as Brown told police, "she appeared drunk dur-ing the evening and eventually vomited." The girl passed out and when she returned home the next morning complained to her mother of pain in her vagmal area. Unsure of whether she had had sex because she had passed out, the girl was taken to the hospital where doc-tors confirmed that she had been a virgin but had recently had sex.

Martel Johnson, a red shirt fre hman for-ward on the MSlJ basketball team, was also present at the apartment, but was not charged

or punished by the school. According to MSU Athletic Director Peter

Fields, Brown has been suspended indefinitely penJing legal action.

"The whole athletic department is very saddened b) this," Fields said. "\\'e don't toler-ate it. We don't want it. It will affect our whole program."

Judge Scott Wyckman has set Brown's bond at 520,000 and Brown was told not to try and contact the '1ctim or her famil) if he posts the bond. Brown' preliminary hearing is set for Dec. 3. The charges will most likeh not be disputed, according to Deputv Countv Attorney Ashley Harrington, because "We ha,·e extremely strong proof [of] the three charges alleged here." MSU officials declined comment on Brown's suspension.

ding tn Dave Douglass St.idem I kalth Office, fale and n.1me on peo-1Mont.ma"1th I II\'." tur< on the di,e,be and ·ation and free food 1ded at the e\'ent. The ·iBO mo,·1e, "\ngels in

....,. photo by Josh Zirschy Photogmp~s 111 the World AIDS Day exhibit in tht Northwt•st Lounge 1Vedne.1cl11y depict people struggling ~czth the d1.1t?t1St'. Support/or thes, people was 111ged, a.1 ·u.Nll m prcventati·ve mt•1ml/'e.1for theji1t11rc

America' \\as on the agcnd,1 .1s well, allowing ,1ddition.1l oppor-tunities to help understand the pain of.\IDS sufferers.

According to Douglass, the

goal of pro1·iding resources for AID

2 THURSDAY. DECEMBER 2. 2004

AIDS: Protect Yourself 1

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 decided, along with other dl''·d-oping countries, th.ll the' don't

Bridger Clinic, Quec:r ::itra1ght '' ,1111 an fl I\' te't. In Th.1il.111d, due \lh,rnce, \ISL' I k.1lth Promotion, to the societal statw. of women,

•rnd the .\lontana \ttb Coalition the\ c.rnnot tell their husbJnds Bo.1rd are all taking .1 st,111d .rnd .ire re.1dy to help pre,·cnt this de.1dh disease.

to ''c.ir condo1m., thus 111creas-111g the ch,11Ke of spre.1ding the dise,1se. \\'omen also IC.1r telling their husbands the\ are 111fe.:ted, \\orld :\IDS D,I\, st.1rted in

! 9S8, is focused even when their husbands on est.1blish-

ing equ.1lity for all and ending discrimination ag.1inst these ' 1ct 1 ms.

This war\ theme IS "\\omen and \IDS," and to

"It [the photo essa y] puts a face a nd name on peo-ple he re in Montana with HIV."

- Dave Douglass MSU Student Health Service

gaw them the dise.1se.

BY put-ting on a

display '' ith the facts and experiences of .\ID. HIV 'ictims, t>.ISU

seeks to raise awareness so stu-denb will realize the necessity of testing .rnd self-protection. This dise,1se has not disappeared, and cannot yet be cured. The gen-eral consensu by participants in World AID Day is that AID is extremely prevalent in ou r lives and needs to be acknowledged.

NEWS

CAMJDUS

Engineering Design Fair !"he t.ISt.: College of Engineenng\ 1~111

Engineenng Design foir will be held from noon to o p.111., on Dec. 8, 1n '\CB Ballroom ,\. o .1dmission \\Ill be charged. Projects 111clude prod-ud protot) pes, ne" technologies, unique solu-tions to d1allenging problems, multidiscipl111an design pm1ects and .1 wide 'ariet\ of subjects within eng111eering. for more information, con-tact the Electrical and Computer Engineering Dep.1rtmcnt at 99-!-2505.

MSU Logo Redesign Forums Two public forums on the redesign of \I U

logo are scheduled for Dec. 9. The first is at 3 p.m. in B.11lroom D of the SUB. The second is scheduled for 6 p.m. in conjunction with the A t>.ISU Student Senate meetmg in room 106E of the trand Union Building. For more infor-mation about the universit\ 's marketing efforts visit http://www.montana.edu/ur/docs/brand-letter.html.

Arch itecture Design Proposals The S1..hool or \rchitecture\ G1.1dt.

\dvance:1cole \t.uquardt, Jesse Bcngson, lobY. 'c Brenda :\kNann, Je,_1e Soukup, Bnan kdh Andre\\ \hllcr, l

NEWS

NOVEMBER 22 - 28. 2004

ff campus student reported that she had ed threatening phone calls. dent rcporteJ that the front grill on his

le ''as damaged in the Antelope Lot. dent rerorted that he was followed by a of male~ while walkmg across campus.

tuJent reported that t\\O of the males ~d him .rnd he "a' stabbed in the thigh. ch fled the area bdore officers arrived. id1m \\,1' t.1ken to the hospital \\here he

1c.11ed and released. Case is under inves-

' bin ~1e, ''ere reported stolen.

ployce reported a shoplifter at the book-in the St.:B. A female student was cited for nd released.

n.1le student in Famil> Housing reported

that her husband had \ 10lated a protection order that was served earlier in the day by call-ing her repeatedly. ,\ male suspect \\as arrested anJ charged with violating a protective order. He was transported to the detention center. ·An employee in the Huffman Building reported that she had recei\'ed a vulgar and obscene note along with a parking ticket payment. A male suspect ''as cont.1cted and was cited for disor-derly conduct. •A student reported that her purse was stolen from her office in Leon Johnson. •An officer stopped the dnver of a vehicle for having expired regi tration on Willson Avenue. •A male suspect \'.as cited for driving under the influence and released. •One hit-and-run accident was reported.

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Award: Success Attributed to Local Support System

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

-and our moms who pushed us and brought us up to be strong women--nothing stands in our way. It's the AIRO program that helps support Nati\'C American students much like our families do at home. Indian people are very dependant on each other and the elders in the commumty. Here in the AIRO program, we are success-ful because we ha,·e a family unit."

\t the .:omen ti on, Bullshields explained, they made connec-tions with other Native students immersed in similar research. Recruiters from graduate pro-grams, federal agencies and research facilities approached them about masters-level and Ph.D. programs.

''Denean and Khena are devel-oping into fine young scientists," said their advisor, Mike Babcock, MSU psychology professor. "Like many of the AIRO students, they are enthusiastic and hardwork-ing. The recognition Denean and Khena received at the SACNAS meeting was well deserved."

Standing and Bullshields both work in Babcock's psychology laboratory. Their poster presenta-tions concerned a novel approach the laboratory has developed to alter the expression of a protein important for memory and cer-tain degenerative neurological dis-orders, including stroke and epi-

lepsy. Standmg presented research on the behavioral changes associ-ated with suppression of a pro-tein 111 the rodent hippocampus, a region of the brain important for memory. Bullshields' presen-tation focused on the biochemical changes that occur in the rodent hippocampus following m,inipu-lation of this protein.

Stewart works m \\'es Lynch's psvchology lab. ! !er poster pre-sentation on obesity used a novel computerized approach measur-111g "impliLit attitudes."

"This approach has been used b) social psychologists to studv various tvpes of bias or preju-dice, but this will be the first time that attitudes about obesity of American lnd1an youth them-selves will have been examined," said Lynch, a psychology pro-fessor. "Mariam won this award because she was able to concep-tualize the problem and explain it effectively to the judges."

The conference, now in its 31st year, weaves Native cultures with scientific learning. Last year, three other MSU AlRO students received similar acco-lades: Woodrow Star, a Hunkpapa Lakota/ Arikara Indian from

orth Dakota, Scott l.ander, a Gros Ventre (White Clay) Indian from Hays, and Lisa Sw1 Rhodes, a Northern Arapaho and Sioux lndian from Fort Peck and Culbertson.

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No\\' th.it Th,111ksgi\ mg 1s o,·er, hopefull\" evcrnme has h,1d a chance to recover from the recent presidenti,il eleurpnse, surpris~, that thus far onh p.ir-t1san Demoaats ha\e been appomtcd b\ the

new administration. The ne\\ lotten direc-tor, George P.irisot, worked .is a field agent for former DemoLratlc Rep. Pat\\ illi,uns.

t.. !an Sexton will be the ne" head of the Dep.irtment of "Jatural Resources. She r.rn m the prim,1n as Democrati( , ,mlli-d.ite for Lt. Gowrnor and a Teton Count\ (.om missioner.

n,n id r,,·er, a former Dt'l110Lrat in the ,t,Jte kgislaturc, will be the ne\\ ,1dm111is-tr,1t1on's budget director.

I !al l larper, newh appomtcd leg1sl,1-t1\ e li,1i .. on, \'"'the Speaker of the Hothc .ind the House \!a1ority l.t.:'.ltkr of the lkmo,rai.. dunng hi:; t~nure. 1 he entJrt' t1 ansitwn tt•,un 1s teeming with former dem0Lr,11i~ .udt•,, part\ lead~1,, and eleLtcd oltici.1b.

Not onl\' do Brian Schwe1t1cr his 'quad of hoodlum> ha\e no f cal d1vers1tr, but the' are also attemf to tnp up the \ lartz admini,tr,lllOll ing the tr.in .. it1on. The \"01..iatc

OPINIONS THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2004 5

vmises: Schweitzer Not Following Through

ONTINUED FROM PAGE 4

tzer administration, it was recently (rd that transition team members '*1rbage cans from the Martz offices.

asn't because they were short on mns, but because the Schweitzer team

d that Martz's people were illegally , mg away important budget data.

rns out, there was only garbage in rbage can. Not only is it obvious that hweitzer team apparently cannot

•myone, but they will stoop to steal-rrbage to prove it. If the Governor t trust workers in the capital build-w can we trust him?

oeral, Republican, Lt. Governor-l:>hn Bohlinger has recently jumped l the 'obstructionist bandwagon.

ger, currently a state senator from . tone County, has refused to resign l (a' he cannot hold two stale posi-lt one time), until the Republican I appoints the ind1v1dual he feels ,( qualified to succeed him. Such

a position and statement is angering. Bohlinger should not expect the party he helped defeat, yet still claims allegiance with, to heed his advice.

What Bohlinger is doing is asinine in the fact that his replacement must be named in time so that the replacement can make living arrangements in Helena, be given committee assignments, and be able to caucus with the party. Not allowing an individual to succeed him (Bohlinger) will hamper the legislature in submitting, debating, and passing prior-ity legislation. Way to go on working with the legislators.

Admittedly, the Martz years were not any picnic, but if the Schweitzer adminis-tration continues on this path of obstruc-tionism. distrust, and one-sided political inequitability, Montana will go through four years of living hell. Brian Schweitzer's "honeymoon" period has yet to begin, and already he has proven that he simply isn't capable. It's all about Brian, and no one else. ---------

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History: Iraq is the Beginning

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4

manifestations in order to spread this advanta-geous form of life.

And now, President Bush has routinely cited the need to spread "freedom" around the world, by force if necessary. The cycle continues.

It's irrelevant at this point to have a discussion about lraq. The justifications of war are moot in the eyes of the rest of the world - like it or not, this war has long since become a brutal reality. However, we've voted for another four years of the same administration exerting the same politi-cal dominance in the global landscape. This is an administration that's treading a very thin line of jingoistic thought that needs to be kept in check over the next term if Anierica wants to maintain any respect in the geo-political world.

My fear is that Iraq may be but the beginning of a very long struggle - a struggle to exert our dominance in the world and, in doing so, prove that supposed superiority JOO percent inaccurate. We cannot let our leaders continue this train of thought. It is the fatal flaw of America today and might very well be undoing.

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1ookstore paw - o - graphing their calendars. Come

1 in us and get acquainted with these amazing animals!

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Cabinet: Bush Setting All His Ducks in Line

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4

ing charges floating around the Internet concerning Gonzales' views on the Geneva Conventions, the military laws that govern how we (and hopefully other coun-tries) fight wars. Gonzales thinks thal we need to rethink whom we allow to be protected under the Geneva Conventions in this new, unprecedented War on Terror.

To find the most inflam-matory remarks on this and Gonzales' other viewpoints, one needs only to turn to a left-wing organization such as The Center for American Progress. Here you will find all kinds of wild claims and accusations made about Al Gonzales, and, while l think that most anything from this orga-nization should be taken with a grain of sail, they do point to the fact that Al Gonzales is no slouch when it comes to throw-ing his weight around in pursuit of his conservati,,e agenda. And as Attorney General, that weight could be considerable.

Overall, George \V. Bush is doing a remarkable job of set-ting all his ducks in a very straight row. The Republicans managed to hold onto a majority in the House and Senate. Now, with the pend-ing appointments of Condoleezza Rice and Al Gonzales, President Bush should be on track to pur-sue his plan of action to its fullest extent.

For ~ome, this realization might make rou weak in the knees, bul for anybodv who is concerned about keepmg our nation number one in the world, this should allow you to sleep easy e\'ery night.

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6 Bobcats Suffer

One Point Defeat

..... CHRIS SEEGERS

EXPONEl'!ontana State University's men's team is off

to a bad start. The Bobcats hm·e lost their first three

regular season games, which

comes as a surpri e after they domin,1ted the courts against

Regina 86-47 and Calgary 103-55 in exhibition games earlier this season.

The Bobcats opened their regular season against

Washington tate. 1 either team seemed to he able to

find the basket ,1s t\ISL lot

to Washington -!2-59. Leading scorer for \\'ashington State was Thonus Kelat1 with 12 point , 11-hile Branden ~tiller also led t\ISV ll'ith 12 po111h.

The Bobcats were plagued from tli 1101 like a11y-th111g else. I \'/zc11 it is perfect. it's better than the best co111b111atio11 o(dmgs n11d sex 1111r1ginable. H'hc11 it's bnd, yo11 die." -Unknmrn

!n the ,mnals of the 111creas-

ingly popular port of ice climb-ing, Bozeman holds a speci,11 p lace. As a home to some of the world's greatest climbers, Bozeman and

the sport haYe c1·olved together. Hyali te Cmyon has long been

the center of local acti\ ity and

is one of the premier ice chmb-111g areas in , orth America . .\rea

climbers are t1 p1calh· blessed" ith easy access to outstandmg ice routes - right here in their own b,ick 1·ards.

This current season h.1s, so far, shaped up a lair bit differently from season' past The unusually

''arm temperatures of the p.bt 111011 th ha\·t• '' re,1ked ha\ oc on the i(e conditions. \..:customed to fat

ice, making for good conditions, mam climbers haw felt \\,l\t'' of d1>,1ppointment \1ith ean -tinue to he th111 or un-dimbable. but wuh !,1st \\l'lk\ lo\\e1 tem-

pl·ratures, the sit 1at1on SCl'l1h to be r.1pidh imprn' ing.

Poor conditions aside, I h,1lite h.1s been a sel'll .1 fl urn of dimb-

ing activity for the past month . kc climbing is a dynamic

sport evoh·ing rap1dh to encom-pass all disciplines of climbing and re-inwnting itself perpetu-

allv. ew techniques and nc\\ equipment are constamlv coming onto the scene.

The one thing that seems to remain constant in this quickly ch,111ging world is the bond

between climbers. \\'hen climb-ing. vou trust your life to your partner. Their decisions and

actions can ea ily affect you as much as themselves. This is one

of the many reasons to seek out

qualified instrutt1on - fortunately for loc,ils this is relatively easv.

To learn more about ice climbing, the following eYents will be quite helpful. Barrel

t\lountaineering had to postpone its 8th annual ice-demo and the

ewnt is rnrrently scheduled for DeL. 10,11,12. The eYent cost 1s

$60 for a da~ of d1mb111g, mdud-ing \'Our equipment; a:. of Sundav

the el'cnt 11·as full .111d interested p.1rties \\'\'re being \1\llt-listed.

This 11-eekcnd. Dec 2-Sth, '\oorthern l 1ghts \\ill be hosting their 9th ,111nu,1l Kl' demo 111 LOn-

ium t ion '' ith :\!pine Ende,l\ ors .. 111d thl· CO't I' ~I 0 includmg equipment i:or more inform,1-

SEE ICE CLIMBING PAGE 7

_.. photo courtesy of Wes H

./]my f!m.11

~obcats: Men's a.sketball Season

Begins With ')NTINUED FROM PAGE 6

in the game the Bobcats led 63 but were sent home with ss after ~1arquin Chandler

the San Jose Spartans hit mp shot with 1.2 seconds

•;iaining on the clock. "I didn't kno'" if thev could it to Chandler, but they did

11 the kid made a big play. We our feet and he hit sort of up-and-under," said Bobcat h Mick Durham after the

astating loss. The 'Bobcats will go up ·nst Utah Valley State today home and will be looking ecure their first victory of season. The game will start :05 p.m. and attendance is

~tly appreciated.

Firearm Show: Bringing Out the Really Big Guns

C01'mNUED FROM PAGE 6

official scorer from the game commission to score anin1als, according to Holiday. The cost of admittance to the Gun and Hunting Trophy show is $5. This is a one-time fee for the entire weekend, so patrons will be able to come and go as they please.

The hours for the show are Fri., Dec. 10 from 5:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m., Sat. Dec. l l from 9:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m., and Sun. Dec. 12 from 9:00 a.m.- 3:00 p.m.

Holiday also adds that with Christmas right around the corner, the Gun and Hunting Trophy show would be the per-fect chance to shop for the avid sportsman in your family.

If the Ice Dogs win against the Billings Bulls in front of

sellout crowd, each ticket holder will receive a free lift ticket to

Moonlight Basin!

SPORTS THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2004 7

lee Climbing: Just Like Rock

Climbing But Not

Holiday Tradition

CONllNUED FROM PAGE 6

tion please contact Barrel Mountaineering at 582-1335 or

orthern Lights at 586-2225. I recently accompanied

Jenna Reineking to an area known as Genesis 1 for her first day of ice climbing. Probably the most popular piece of ice in the entire canyon and the place where many of us swung our first tool, Genesis was unchar-acteristically quiet this day. The ice was forming everywhere and some lines were very wet - implying an ample resource awaiting colder temperatures. The older ice was very plas-tic and allowed for solid tool placements.

What would Thanksgiving be without

Cowboys and Lions?

After some quick instruc-tion on basic technique, Jenna proceeded to hike a few of the easier lines on the left side of the formation. When attempt-ing the central pillar, Jenna found the climbing quite a bit harder and discovered the need for more advanced tech-nique. With a bit more instruc-tion, she once again attempted the line, th.is time sending it cleanly with a huge grin. Upon her triumph she declared, "Ice climbing was the most fun I'd ever had while being soaking wet and cold."

Fortunately for us, Jenna's eA1Jerience isn't unlike many of our first experiences ice climb-ing. The local climbing com-munity is general!) very inviting of new members. Great climb-er~ abound in Bozeman and man} of us have been fortunate enough to share a rope with some of them. The climbers in our local communitv are push-ing the sport intone\\ directions and climbing routes pre,·iously thought un-climbable.

For local route information, check out Jo Josephson's new book "\Vinter Dance." Route information and current condi-tions are also readily available at montanaice.com.

L ou ARMITAGE

EXPONENT WRITER

It's a little-known fact to those outside the world of foot-ball that every Thanksgiving, no matter whose house you celebrate at, no matter how you celebrate, one thing will always be the same every year - the Dallas Cowboys and the Detroit Lions will be playing football.

This year's holiday festivi-ties pitted the Cowboys (3-7) against the Chicago Bears (4-6) and the Lions (4-6) against the Indianapolis Colts (7-3) . The Cowboys have struggled lately, losing three in a row entering Thursday's game. Their coach, Bill Parcells, was criticized earlier this season for bad-mouthing his team after an embarrassing loss. After a game against Cincinnati in week nine, Parcells described his team as being"too stupid."

\!\ 'hether or not his words were meant to motiYate his team to do better, they didn't, and the\' kept losing. That is. of course, until Thanksgiving. The Cowboys beat the Bears 21-7 at Chicago. Dallas started the game scoring on their first dri\·e but neither team would score again until midway through the second quarter, when R.\\'. ~kQuarters of the Chicago Bears intercepted a pass from Cowbovs' quarterback Dre,..,,· Henson. McQuarters returned the pass for a touchdown tying the gan1e at 7-7.

The game would remain tied until the fourth quarter when Dallas drove the ball 61 yards to score another touch-down taking the lead, 14-7.

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The Bears started their next pos-session with good field position and plenty of time on the clock, they had the opportunity to score again and tie the game, but on their first p lay th e ball was intercepted and the Cowboys would drive the ball from there to score the touchdown that sealed the win.

In the other holiday match-up, the Colts weren't about to let the Lions get as close as the Bears did against the Cowboys. The Colts, riding a wave of victories on the stellar leadership of quarter-back Peyton Manning, routed the Lions 41-9, not even once allowing Detroit to cross into their end zone. The only Detroit player to record a point was kicker Jason Hanson who had three field goals.

Manning threw for six touch-downs in the first three quarters. In what already appears to be a record-setting season, Manning broke a record in this game as well for the most consecutive games with four or more touchdown passes. The previous record was set by Dan Marino at four games in a 5eason when he set the record for most touchdowns in a season with .+8. /\fanning has 41 touchdown passes through l l weeks and if he keeps up this pace he will easil} break the record.

Just like most people who celebrate Thanksg1Ying, the Dallas Cowbors have a lot to be thankful for this season. And just like other people who celebrate Thanksgiving, the Detroit Lions probably wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day on the couch. But for both teams, one thing is certain - just like the rest of u , they will both be looking forward to next year's Thanksgi,ring.

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8 FEATURES THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2004

Nationally Released Album Debuts in Bozeman CD Release Concert for The Jeni Fleming Acoustic Trio

TESSA ANDREWS

FEA-URES l:.DITOR

The Jeni Fleming Acoustic Trio hJ made an album that will go national.

The Trio will showca;.e their newest ,1lbum, "Once Around The Sun," Friday at the Emerson Cultur,11 Center. Thi;, album ts their third album; the\' ha\'e put out one album each of the three w.1rs they have been together.

"This weekend ts ,JCtuall)· aJ,, ,1y, the weekend \\'t' release ,1 ne" CD," said Jeni Heming, the ,·oice of the group. who 1s known for her cool. dear j.1Z1 mice.

All three musiLians (lake Fleming on gutt.ir Jnd saxo phone, Chad Lrngford on bass, and singer Jem Fleming) gradu-ated from ~ !Sl fhe group met while in school. The) h,we all plaved "ith other ensembles and continue to do so but, the trio is their main focus.

"This is the group we take most serioush,'' Fleming '>aid Hickm6::!.

The dinnt'r ts abo present Bucb T-4 at Big Ski on ~lo December 6 at 6:00 p.m. For 111format1on call The Big -\ssoc1at1on For the \ rts ,u T-!2.

A Perfect Circle Redeems Rock Music with "eMOTIVi ....... TOBY NELSON

EXPONENT \I\. :TER

\\'hen you t,1ke a look at the majorit\ of popuJ,1r m(xiern rock .1Cts todm, You don't see .1 lot of ,1rt.ii.UL merit. B.rnds like L111kin P.1rk .rnd 1'Kkelbat"k aren't kno1111 tn take risks for .1rt \ sake. I nste,1d, the)· choose the mont'\ route ,md make generi..:, b'-tl1t'-book nu-mctn m since tht' grunge e

FEATURES THURSDAY, D ECEMBER 2 , 2004 9

\lexander" Fails in Every Way Imaginable BRIAN CLARK

NE:."ITWRITE

\ offioal. Olin:r Stone isn't trying anymore. Experts are estimating that he gave up time around 1989. 1 his latest piece of mcoher-to reach theaters, Stone's ndcr" tells the ston of a

nd his dream. Or maybe it's a boy ,rnd his low for other and some girls), all of\,·hich mplicated bY the creepy al rclation,hip he has with riminally hot mother. Or e it's about a ho} and his to achieve immortality, sur-1g his father the king, while g the approval of some,

ot all, of Im peers. While it's y difficult to pmpoint what's ·e here, it all adds up to part-ical epic, part-melodrama, oap opera and here's the

big one-part cinematic garbage. For God's sake, Oliver, pick

a focus! First of all, it would help the running time, which clocks in at just under 13 hours. Secondly, it might help the, uh, what's it called - plot.

\'\'hether we're talking about the overly long introduction, the numerous, inane subplot-; or one of the 19 climaxes l didn't care about, thi film is all O\·er the place - jumping around more than a coked-up \\'illiam Shatner on a pogo stick.

Since you're bound to spend most of "Alexander's" marathon running time thinking about other things, l propose a fun little game to help pass the time. Bring a blank map of the world into the theater with you and try to pick out the different accents that the actor bring to their respectiYe characters (all of whom suppos-

edly come from the same city). Then color in every represented country with a different crayon, identifying as many as you can. 1 came up with 64; see if you can do better.

For a bonus point, make up a name for whatever-the-hell fictional country Angelina Jolie sounds like she's from. Oh, and remember to bring one of those pens where the tip lights up; movie theaters can get pretty dark. Hopefullr this will help because, without it, you're forced to actu-ally watch the movie, and that's something I would highly recom-mend avoiding at all costs.

"Alexander" reminded me, in a lot of ways, of "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King"-another bloated, unfocused, melodran1a with little to sa) that still manages to spend way too much time in saying it. To be fair,

the last half hour or so of "Alexander" is better than any-thing

n

"Return of the King," but that doesn't make up for the comatose-inducing bore-dom of the first two and a half hours.

Guys who are attending "Alexander" hoping to see some gory battle scenes, or at least a glimpse of Angelina Jolie naked ,will be disappointed. There are only two battles to speak of, the first of which is actually quite impres-sive. However, the vast majority of screen time is spent on close-ups of Colin Farrell whining like a broke fat kid in a candy store-not much of a trade-off. And Angelina Jolie

stays fully clothed, too, so no dice there. Girls might find a bit

more enjoyment as a pretty Farrell and a very pretty Jared Leto share more than one moment of homo-erotic affection. Lt's never visuall} realized in the truest sense, but it's enough to turn off anybody who voted to uphold the sanctity of marriage a month ago.

"Alexander" is disappointing for so many reasons. Acting, story, message, focus, squandered poten -tial, historical value, etc., etc. I could probably list all of the disap-pointments, but there are so many. In the end, it's just not worth it. Kind of like the movie.

he SpongeBob Squarepants Movie" Gains Fans with Children, Adults ARIA STEWART

!\JENT WRITER

re you bored with movies? you been unimpressed b) asses of mediocre films that tting the big screen? Don' t , the solution to your trou-here, in the form of a small sponge. ongeBob Squarepants

· ally made his feature-t debut in the wild and

cartoon, "The SpongeBob pants Movie." This movie perfect mix of childish fun ilarity, and even if you're

'an of the TV show, you' ll be ng your squarepants off.

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The plot in Stephen Hillenburg's movie, like the char-acters, is simple. King Neptune's crown is stolen by the e\'il Plankton, who hides the crown in the forbidden Shell City and plans to rule the world. SpongeBob and his best friend Patrick the starfish, are chosen to embark on a danger-ous quest to retrieve the crown. Underneath all the cartoon humor, SpongeBob manages to throw in an important little message about believing in yourself.

SpongeBob is in top form, and more irresistible than ever. His outrageous personality seems hilariously amplified on the big screen. Fans will recognize some

of the recurring characters, like SpongeBob's pet Gary, who only makes a couple brief appearances. It's Patrick, however, who steals the show. His goofy, dimwitted demeanor provides fodder for the best jokes.

Among older crowd , the big-ge t draw to this movie seems to be the subtle, underlying adult humor. You won't find as many pop culture references as you might e:>..-pect, but there is still plenty of grown-up comedy. In one particular scene, SpongeBob and Patrick get wasted on ice cream. They sit in a bar together and order countless goo-berberry sunrise sundaes, scarfing them down like there's no tomor-

•ybeck prices available far a lhnited time. All futirre b1yback prices an theH titles will be dependent 11 •arket candltloas. Avallablllty varies by store. See store for details on buyback requirements.

row. Then they proceed to stumble around like drunken teenagers, yelling and singing at the top of their lungs. Watching SpongeBob stumble into work the next morn-ing with an incredible hangover is priceless. How could you not be entertained by a drunk sponge?

One of the best parts about this animated adventure is that it's not complete~ animated. Towards the end of his journey, Sponge Bob comes face-to-face with real life. First, a deep sea diver captures SpongeBob and Patrick, threat-ening to turn them into gift shop knick knacks. Then none other than David Hasselhoff appears to save the day. The two cartoon

heroes get to "nde the Hasselhoff" to safety. Yes, that looks as ridicu-lous as it sounds, but that's the essence of SpongeBob - silliness and ridicule.

If nautical nonsense is som e-thing you want, then grab your pirate's booty and sail over to "The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie." It's a brilliant work of animated art, and the perfect mix of slap-stick comedy and sophisticated humor. SpongeBob's witty antics are the perfect solution to end-of-the-semester stress and boredom. Besides, it's impossible to resist an absorbent, yellow, porous fe llow who lives in a pineapple under the sea.

TBJ: .MACON SAY si:~s

10 THURSDAY. DECEMBER 2. 2004 FEATURES

Junior Ml A Class Presents a Night of One-Act Plays DREWS

Juniors 111 the .\kdi.1 and Theater \rts dc.:partment Will wrap up one required ..:lass 11·ith a st.ige produ.:tion of l)Ile-act pl.1Ys.

The ..:lass. \IT \3 7-l Production

Proc

ational $5/30 words Extra words 1 Qc each

Deadline for classified

adrertising 1s noon on

1ondar for publication in

hursda\'s Paper. Registered

mpus orgarnzations pay ' student rates.

To place a classified, call

(406) 994-2206 or e-mail

CLASSIFIEDS 11 For rent 4 Bedroom 3.5 bath I 900 ~q. ft. SI 1001month. I 0 min walk from college. First month rent free. Call Alan 910-1140

4 bedroom house plu' I bedroom apartment for rent a\ailable Jan 5. "275 per room $450 for apartment plus utilitie . . Pets negotiable. W/D. No 'making. I 309 S. Willson. Call 582-0675.

Roommate needed beginning middle of Dec. or start of Jan. for 2nd semester. Apt. on W. College (Brook ide) Rent=$395 me '' 1d. high-speed internet. Util. $65 but negotiable. 539-8938

Have a place to rent or looking for a roommate? Advertise with the Exponent by calling 994-2206.

Queen pillO\\-top mattress set still in bag-, ew $179 522-3793 •5 Piece Dinette. Solid wood. in box. never used. $299 522-3793

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Phi Cpsilon Omicron will be selling lee Dogs Tickets for $3 each to MSU student in the SUB Thursday. December 1 from 10-2. The game i December 4 at 7: 15 p.m. If the game sel ls out and the Ice Dogs win. every ticket holder will receive a FREE PASS TO MOONLIGHT BASIN! For more infonnation. contact Heidi at hdonaldson9@hotmail.com or Lacey at LJRaymond@montana. edu.

Learn real life entrepreneurship skills and be part of a major product roll out currently going international. Learn how to create a small business or expand and organi1e a sales team to service a market from a national firm. Take charge and put your own creat1vtty into marketing your own business. Call athan at 581-0092.

GET PArD CASH to Answer Text Me sages on Your Cell Phone! It's FREE. It's Easy. Opt-in @ www.PollCast.net and be eligible to WIN a FREE IPOD! Diligent student needed to collect campu data. Approx. I 0 hours total with end of January deadline. Good pay and byline credit offered. Send inquiry to abramchristopher@yahoo.com.

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FACE MODELS EEDED!! All sizes, shape~. ages. and colors needed for a portfolio of women here in the Bozeman area that must be completed before Christmas! Only 30 women are allowed in this portfolio showca. ing all the new colors for Sping of 2005. Please call Katrina @ 585-8725 to book your appt. today.

The Exponent is now hiring a Managing/Opinions Editor. Please call 994-2224 for details. I

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12 CROSSWORD

( In "The Simpsons," how often is the "Shelbyville Daily published? -> In which state does Donald Duck live? - Based on per capita consumption, the U S. ranks as #8 as the consumer of th is food. What is it?

The 1st person to correctly complete this week's puzzle trivia. and bring it to the Exponent office will win one FRE

medium pizza. courtesy of Pizza Hut. 2nd place receives 2 passes to Wallace Theaters. Last week s answers:

ACROSS 1 Lopsided 6 Sized up

11 Overbearing 16 Druids 21 Cure salmon 22 Better equipped 23 Loosen 24 Old cattle town 25 Tense 26 Reduce speed 27 Serious theater 28 Tricked 29 Malt beverage 30 Talent seeker 32Stake 34 Roof support 36 Not far away 38 Strides along 40 Polygraph flunl