ds relationship maintenance

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  • 7/28/2019 Ds Relationship Maintenance

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    The Care and Maintenance of Master/slave Relationships

    Introduction

    Thanks to Viktor & DsF for inviting us

    Feel free to ask questions

    Hoping for lots of audience participation Really should be a panel discussion

    My opinions only, they do not reflect on the group

    This weeks opinions

    catherine has not been given an assigned role, but she has been told she may

    interject her thoughts and comments freely, as well as answer questions.

    About the topic

    We are not therapists

    Not relationship counselors

    Perception that D/s relationships tend to be short-lived

    Might be true but

    So are most vanilla relationships

    Doesnt have to be that way

    About us:

    Names

    Affiliations

    DsF

    MAsT

    TES

    LSM

    NYFssF

    D/s Brunch Bunch

    How we met

    Time together

    Transition from internet to real life

    Club-going

    Change of focus to D/s and structure rather than S&M and play

    Then married

    Issues surrounding getting married

    Sir Stephen

    catherine

    What contributes to longevity in a relationship?

    First and foremost longevity needs to be a stated and agreed upon goal

    Structure time and activities to achieve this goal

    Communication

    Initial D/s negotiation

    Rules

    Rituals

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    Protocols

    Create space for on-going communication

    Example: weekly chats

    Caring

    Not necessarily romantic love

    Care of and for property

    Many ways to show caring:

    Show appreciation for things well done as well as

    Correction for things done poorly

    Punishment for wrong-doing

    Care of and for Owner

    Give good service, whatever form the service takes:

    Sexual

    Bottoming

    Food preparation

    Bookkeeping

    Chauffeuring

    Take your reward from the service, not the praise, there should be no

    expectation of praise.

    Attention to the critical M/s elements of the relationship

    Such as:

    Structure

    Dominance and submission

    S&M play

    S&M in our relationship

    Humiliation

    Face slapping

    Needle play

    Etc.

    Takes work:

    Keep the focus on them, keep them invigorated

    We regularly review rituals, rules and protocols to see if they are still

    fulfilling their purpose and giving us gratification. If not, we revise,add and delete.

    Remain creative

    Remain flexible

    Impediments to longevity

    Failures in the above

    Over-investing in our lifestyle roles

    Masters are no less Masterful for listening to their slaves

    slaves are no less submissive for letting their needs be known

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    However, do not relinquish your role Masters want slave, slaves want

    Masters Masters still make the final decisions slaves gratification shouldcome from the attention the Master pays in listening and considering their

    needs not in acquiescing to them.

    Questions