D R A G O N 1

Some time before Christmas, JohnSapienza called from Washington, D.C.,to say he hadn’t received his subscrip-tion copy of the December issue ofDRAGON™ Magazine. “Hmmm,” I saidknowingly. “Sounds like a delivery prob-lem.” And I assured him I’d mail off areplacement copy, which we do when-ever a subscriber doesn’t get the copythat was originally sent.

I’m a little inefficient sometimes, andthis was one of those times. I finally gotaround to sending John his new maga-zine a little over a week after he called— and this one arrived safely.

All well and good, but the story doesn’tend there. A couple of days after gettinghis second copy, John got his first one— forwarded from the U.S. Embassy inVienna, Austria, and accompanied bythe note from Chris Brush reproduced atthe bottom of this page.

— depends on the U.S. Postal Service.

It’s an extreme example, sure, butsometimes those are the best kind. The

Not all of the delivery problems involve

point is, we are no longer in control ofthe fate of our subscribers’ magazinesonce they leave the printer. Whether youget your magazine on time — or at all

who got a whole bundle of magazinesbecause their name was on the top enve-lope in the stack, and the workers at thelocal post office had not broken open thebundle like they’re supposed to.

Speaking of John, his story isn’t quiteover. Shortly after he got his packagefrom Austria, he got his copy of the Jan-

The bundle blunder isn’t a fatal mis-take, as long as the guy who gets 20

uary issue —

magazines takes the other 19 back to thepost office so they can be delivered to

on top of a bundle contain-

their rightful owners. But some maga-zines simply get lost. That’s bound to

ing a dozen other issues of the same

happen to a few people every month, outof the 15,000 who get the magazine by

magazine. That must be the post office’s

mail. If the post office has an error rate assmall as one fourth of one percent ondelivery of second-class mail (and I haveno idea if that estimate is even close),that translates into 35 or 40 angryDRAGON subscribers per month. As inJohn’s case, those who complain get afree replacement as our way of sayingwe’re sorry.

way of saying they’re sorry.

thousands of miles of distance. Some-times, your missing magazine might beas close as your next-door neighbor.We’ve received a few reports of people

Vol. VI, No. 10 April 1982

Publisher.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jake JaquetEditor-in-Chief.. . . . . . . . . . Kim MohanEditorial staff . . . . . . . . . . . Bryce Knorr

Marilyn MaysGali Sanchez

Sales.. . . . . . . . . . . . . Debbie ChiusanoCirculation . . . . . . . Corey KoebernickOffice staff . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cherie Knull

Roger RauppContributing editors. . . . Roger Moore

Ed Greenwood

This issue’s contributing artists:Dean Morrissey Darlene PekulErol Otus Jim OwsleyRoger Raupp Phil FoglioAlan Burton Gilbert RochaJim Holloway Dave Trampier

DRAGON™ magazine is published monthly byDragon Publishing, a division of TSR Hobbies,Inc. Subscription orders and change-of-addressnotices should be sent to Dragon Publishing,P.O. Box 110, Lake Geneva WI 53147. Tele-phone (414) 248-8044.

DRAGON magazine is available at hundredsof hobby stores and bookstores throughout theUnited States and Canada, and through a limit-ed number of overseas outlets. Subscriptionrates are as follows, with all payments to bemade in advance: $24 for 12 issues sent to a U.S.or Canadian address; $50 U.S. for 12 issues sentvia surface mail or $95 for 12 issues sent via airmail to any other country.

A limited quantity of certain back issues ofDRAGON magazine can be purchased directlyfrom the publisher by sending the cover price($3) plus $1.50 postage and handling for eachissue ordered. Payment in advance by check ormoney order must accompany all orders. Pay-ments cannot be made through a credit card,and orders cannot be taken nor merchandise“reserved” by telephone. Neither an individualcustomer nor an institution can be billed for asubscription order or back-issue purchase un-less prior arrangements are made.

The issue of expiration for each subscriptionis printed on the mailing label for each sub-scriber’s copy of the magazine. Changes of ad-dress for the delivery of subscriptions must bereceived at least 30 days prior to the effectivedate of the change in order to insure uninter-rupted delivery.

All material published in DRAGON magazinebecomes the exclusive property of the publisherupon publication, unless special arrangementsto the contrary are made prior to publication.DRAGON magazine welcomes unsolicited sub-missions of written material and artwork; how-ever, no responsibility for such submissions canbe assumed by the publisher in any event. Anysubmission which is accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope of sufficient sizewill be returned to the contributor if it cannot bepublished.

DRAGON™ is a trademark for Dragon Publish-ing’s monthly adventure playing aid. All rightson the contents of this publication are reserved,and nothing may be reproduced from it in wholeor in part without prior permission in writingfrom the publisher. Copyright 1982 by TSRHobbies, Inc. USPS 318-790. ISSN 0279-6848.

Second class postage paid at Lake Geneva,Wis., and at additional mailing offices.

2 APRIL 1982

ne day about a year ago, the mailman brought usthis gaudy blue-and-white envelope with FLlGHTOF THE BOODLES plastered on it. “Aha,” we said,“someone has labored long and hard in his base-ment to make this game, and now we’re supposed

to do a review of it, right?”Wrong.Chuck Stoll of Louisville, Ky., dreamed up the rules and

produced the game board and counters as a project for agraphic arts class. He sent us one of the few copies he had, justto see what we thought of it, and to find out whether we’d beinterested in publishing it.

Chuck surprised us: It was a good game, and good gamesdon’t get dropped on our doorstep all that often. So, in return,we surprised Chuck: We accepted his offer to let us develop andproduce it. The game doesn’t have a thing to do with fantasyrole-playing, but has a lot to do with having fun. Enjoy it.

It’s been a rough winter in this neck of the woods, so you’llhave to excuse us for trying to rush the spring season with thisissue’s cover painting by Dean Morrissey. It’s the first bit ofgreenery we’ve seen since somebody took down our plasticChristmas tree sometime around Valentine’s Day.

The flagship of our fleet this month is “All About Elves,”another in contributing editor Roger Moore’s series of over-views of the character races in the AD&D™ game. Roger, who’sbeen seeing a lot of his typewriter lately, also gets credit for“The Jester,” a new version of the non-player character classfirst described ‘way back in issue #3 of DRAGON™ Magazine.

Ed Greenwood, our other contributing editor, has been play-ing with guns. In “Firearms,” he comes to the conclusion that

medieval-era explosive weapons can be incorporated into anAD&D world without unbalancing the game, because most ofthem take forever to reload, and when they’re fired, they can bemore perilous to the shooter than the shootee. See if you agree.

As promised last month, Gary Gygax finishes the list of can-trips for magic-users in. “From the Sorceror’s Scroll.” And in“Outfitting the new agent,” the master of swords-and-sorcerygaming steps into the world of the spy with some guidelines forTOP SECRET® players.

It’s okay to use “It’s magic!” to explain a lot of the happeningsin an AD&D adventure, but when things have to make sense,you’d better know your facts. Mike Holthaus drew up a quiz totest players and DMs on their knowledge of physical scienceand the realities of the natural world—which, even in a fantasygame, have to be taken into account.

If you’re in more of a philosophical mood, check out JohnLees’ essay offering new definitions for the AD&D alignments.Also for AD&D enthusiasts is Michael Fountain’s description ofthe Pooka, a creature whose origins are somewhere in themiddle ground between fact and fantasy.

When Glenn Rahman designed The Trojan War, he was in-structed to stick to the events near the end of that 10-yearconflict. Now players can recreate the early years of the war aswell with four “early” scenarios and rules for a campaign game.If you have to fight Achilles, aim for his heel.

This month’s fiction offering is WearWolf, in which putting ona “suit” takes on a whole new light. And if you get the idea thatwe’re putting you on with some of the other articles you’ll findinside . . . well, it wouldn’t be right to let April pass without a littlefoolishness, would it? — KM

SPECIAL ATTRACTIONFLIGHT OF THE BOODLES —A simple game

for players who aren’t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

OTHER FEATURESAll About Elves: A special section . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

The elven point of view — Long range, of course . . . . . . 6The gods of the elves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9Sage Advice — Questions and answers on elves. . . . . . 13The half-elven point of view — Best of both worlds? . . 14

Firearms — Primitive powder weapons for AD&D play . . . . 24WearWolf — Appearances can be deceiving.. . . . . . . . . . . . . 30Science and fantasy — A quiz for players and DMs . . . . . . . 33It’s that time of year again...

GAMING MAGAZINE — Nothing but the essentials . . 35The Jester — A comical NPC class . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45Diarmiud’s Last Jest — This one’ll kill ya . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

Midgets in the Earth — Don’t look down on them.. . . . 50Artist of the Month — Promptness pays off for Phil . . . 52Dragon’s Bestiary — Stranger than truth.. . . . . . . . . . . . 54

Outfitting the new agent — TOP SECRET® tips by EGG . . 60Trojan War — Variant scenarios from the designer . . . . . . . 63Pooka — A six-foot-tall what? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66Quiz answers — Don’t peek . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71Alignment — New definitions for AD&D gaming . . . . . . . . . . 72

REGULAR OFFERINGSOut on a Limb — Letters from readers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4From the Sorceror’s Scroll — New cantrips, part two . . . . . 16Convention schedule . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58Figuratively Speaking — Miniature figure reviews . . . . . . . . 68Dragon’s Augury — The Spawn of Fashan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76Wormy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78What’s New . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, ADVANCED D&D, and TOP SECRET are registered trademarks owned by TSR Hobbies, inc.

™ designates other trademarks owned by TSR Hobbies, Inc., unless otherwise indicated.

D R A G O N 3

Pulsipher on pelinsDear editor:

In a letter in DRAGON #54 (p. 4), EdwinHendricks complained that my monster, thepelin (DRAGON #52) was useless: “What dothey do to help a campaign? Zilch.” This isprobably an example of the least useful atti-tude to take toward a monster—that it shouldbe something one can plug into a room, with-out regard for its nature, to chock the playerswith one more mysterious killer opponent.

While there is nothing actually wrong withthis, DMs who go only this far are missing halfthe fun, and so are their players. Even themost peaceful or lawful good monster shouldstimulate the DM’s imagination, if the monsteris well made.

To take the pelin as an example, the DMcould wonder what kinds of creatures live on,or in symbiosis with, the pelin. Might there bea race of cloud- or air-dwelling people whotravel about on pelins, or domesticate themfor some other use? Could an evil or neutralgroup enslave pelins to use them in nefariousschemes?

If unwary players have read that issue ofDRAGON Magazine, their characters willmerely yawn when they see approaching pel-ins, or perhaps, if they’re evilly inclined, the

characters will take off on a pelin hunt. Im-agine their surprise when they encounterpeople trying to protect their “cattle andhorses,” so to speak, or when they are at-tacked by a group which has enslaved thecreatures.

Or, if players haven’t read DRAGON Maga-zine, pelins could have considerable scarevalue. A good DM could also evoke the play-ers’ “sense of wonder” with this peaceful butenormous monster. In another case, playercharacters might meet, befriend, and cooper-ate with pelins in some endeavor. Not everymonster needs to attack to play a role in thegame.

Or, to take another tack, if the pelins de-scribed in the magazine article are peaceful,might there be similar creatures, perhapsrather smaller, which are predators? Think ofsperm whales and killer whales, for example. Ican even imagine a short adventure takingplace inside a pelin — who knows what mightlive there? Maybe there are gas cells insidemutant pelins, with air (and bones) betweenthem, just as in a German zeppelin.

Think about the possibilities behind a mon-ster; don’t look at it solely as an aggressivekiller. How could it be used to surprise playersby misdirection? How might it associate withother creatures (including humanoids)? Whatvariations might exist? How could separate

adventures be created around the monster?Ask yourself these questions and your gamewill be more interesting as well as lessrepetitive.

Lewis PulsipherDurham, N.C.

Lew sent this to us as a manuscript, not as aletter to the editor, intending for it to be usedas an appendix to his article, “Make monsters,not monstrosities,” in issue #59 of DRAGON™Magazine. Time and space limitations pre-vented its publication with the article, but Lewgave his permission for it to be used in “Outon a Limb,” saying that the point deserved tobe made. And we couldn’t agree more. Anyoneinterested in composing a good candidate forinclusion in Dragon’s Bestiary could do worsethan to read — and reread — this “letter” andlast month’s article. — KM

Gygax on archeryDear editor:

There are a couple of problems with RobertBarrow’s article, “Aiming for Realism inArchery,” in issue #58 of DRAGON™ Maga-zine. From my standpoint, it seems that thegood author spends too much time with mod-ern archery and has read nothing of medievalhistory dealing with the subject. English long-bowmen were set to practicing their aim at200 to 220 paces. Let’s call that 180 yards.According to eyewitness accounts, thesearchers could hit a butt of two feet width moreoften than not at that range. In a similar vein,Genoese crossbowmen were desirable troopsbecause (when their strings weren’t wet) theirweapons outranged the longbow.

The most important issue, however, iscomplication. For all of the work and time theauthor suggests is necessary to add “realism”to archery in D&D® gaming, is the game morefun because of it? I, for one, don’t think so;and when all is said and done the course ofplay is not materially affected for the better bythe inclusion of complicated archery rules.

E. Gary GygaxLake Geneva, Wis.

Moore on MooreDear editor:

Just a quick note on two mistakes (appar-ently typesetting errors) in issue #57 ofDRAGON™ Magazine. In Giants in the Earth,the charisma score for Rifkind should have

been 16, not 6. And in “Dungeons Aren’t Sup-posed to be For Men Only,” part of a sentencewas left out. The female character charmedby the beholder was made to go around andpick up all our magical items we’d dropped inour hurry to escape. One of the magical itemsnegated the effects of the charm and madeher highly magic resistant. That’s when shegreased it.

Thanks for making these corrections!Roger E. Moore

Louisville, Ky.

Our pleasure, Roger. (Sigh.) We do it all thetime. And while we’re at it, let’s set the recordstraight about “Magenta’s Cat” (Dragon’sBestiary, #58). The feline was created byRoger and his wife Georgia, not by Roger

alone (as the credit line indicated). Now willyou let him back in the house, Georgia? — KM

Which is which?Dear editor:

I am an avid reader of DRAGON Magazine,and for the most part I find it a very interestingand valuable addition to the present AD&Dcompilation. There is, however, one thing thatI find very disturbing about the magazine. Iwould term it a bad case of one hand notknowing what the other is doing.

In the DEITIES & DEMIGODS™ Cyclopediathere is mention of Circe, a chaotic evil blacksorceress of multi-magical profession listedin the Greek mythos. Well, this is easy to un-derstand, but then along comes “Circe No. 2”in DRAGON Magazine (#52, page 37). Sinceshe is an 18th-level magic-user of chaoticneutral alignment who “likes to style herself adaughter of the sun god, Apollo” of Greekmythos, naturally, she is not Circe No. 1. Stillthis can make for quite a bit of confusion attimes.

Another example is the lawful evil, 1/2-hit-die Poltergeist appearing in the Fiend Folio atabout the same time as DRAGON Magazineissue #52 was published. Yet in issue #55,page 62, comes another poltergeist, this timechaotic neutral and with six hit dice.

This can certainly lead to much confusionwhen your DM tells you that you meet a pol-tergeist. What do you do? And you answer,“Well, is it type A or type B?” All I would like toask is that in the future, would you mind giv-ing your monsters different names then thosealready listed in past works — it would suremake things easier. Anyhow, I would like toleave on a bit of a happier note by assuring

(Turn to page 77)

4 APRIL 1982

The elven point of viewThe half - elven point of viewThe gods of the elvesSage Advice for elves

D R A G O N 5

by Roger E. Moore

Elves are much like humans in physical appearance. They arethinner and somewhat smaller, averaging about 5 feet tall, butnot small enough for the size difference to affect the way elvessee humans and vice versa. Elves have a tendency, as do alldemi-humans, to be generally suspicious of human motives atthe same time they admire (perhaps reluctantly) and look up tohumans for their capabilities. But elves are the least affected bythis feeling, and bear little jealousy to humans for their ability toadvance an unlimited number of levels in their professions.Elves have their own set of special abilities and problems.

The greatest difference between the viewpoint of an elf andthat of a human concerns con-cepts of time. The wispy, lightlybuilt elves have a life span morethan ten times as long as hu-mans, averaging 1,200 years witha maximum of 1,600 years or so.Such a timespan is barely com-prehensible to humankind; itseffects on the elven personalityare profound and far-reaching.Elven player characters are al-ready 100 years old or olderwhen they start play in the game,perhaps close to 200 years, andcan look forward to many yearsmore, barring accident or deathin battle. In a typical elven life-span it is possible for as manyas sixty generations of humansto appear and vanish. Whole cit-ies and nations could be found-ed, expand, reach a pinnacle,and fade away into degenera-tion and ruin in that time. Seem-ingly changeless, the elf wouldwitness it all.

Time means nothing to an elf;there is little need for hurry inany project the elf is engagedin. Humans and other demi-humans rush about and vainlyset out on adventures and pro-jects that they want to completebefore the Grim Reaper turnstheir bodies and works to dust. Few things are that important toelves. Aging seems to have little effect physically on an elf’soutward appearance; unscathed by the passage of centuriesand millennia, elven longevity is intensely envied by most otherraces who travel in the shadow of mortality.

Seeing others’ lives pass away around them, and having nosuch pressure from the presence of death, elves have attained adeep understanding and acceptance of death as a part of life bynature. They don’t look forward to it necessarily, but they haveno fear of it. This feeling is so deeply ingrained that elves (andhalf-elves) are immune to the effects of the magic-user spellScare, which enhances any basic fears of death and doom in

6 APRIL 1982

the victim’s mind.Elves are also immune to the paralyzing touch of ghouls,

from which it may be deduced that ghouls are somehow able tocause their victims to be overtaken and immobilized by theirfears of death. The more powerful undead creatures can para-lyze or cause fear in elves as well as in other beings becausethose undead have a stronger innate magical power and usedifferent ways to bring their attacks into effect. An elf might notfear death, but one would certainly fear an enraged vampire orlich for the harm or damage it could cause.

Elves are a brave people, but are not given to foolhardinessand the sort of “damn the tor-pedoes” approach that shorter-lived beings use so often. Cau-tion is appropriate since there isso much to live for and so longto do it in. It may well be thatelves are aware that since theydo not possess souls but havespirits (see the DEITIES &DEMIGODS™ book for clarifi-cation of these terms) instead,they will be “reborn” after sometime, and likely as elves again.Why fear death when you knowyou are coming back to lifeanyway?

Their longer lifespans alsoimbue elves with a tendency tosee things in a long-range way.The short-term results of a par-ticular action concern elves little;things are done for what willcome about in the long run.Singing and dancing all day arenot actions done for the sake ofthe moment (as most other crea-tures believe). This behaviorhelps make life more enjoyableand easily lived, enhancing elves’love of the world and of life ingeneral. Longevity can mean in-tolerable boredom unless onecan manage to keep occupiedfor over a thousand years and

enjoy it as well. Elves know how to do this with little trouble. Thenaturally chaotic bent that elves have comes to their assistancehere, guaranteeing a life filled with variety and unpredictability.Life is an endless series of surprises to fire elves’ imaginations;there are poems to be written, songs to be sung, and tales to betold about those surprises.

To members of other races, elves appear heedless of theharsh realities of the world; they have no attention span, theywaste time; they are “flighty or frivolous” and carefree. Theyhave no understanding of the value of time, we believe. Howwrong we are. Elves know only too well the value of time. Theycannot comprehend fully our haste to do things, our concern

over things that will not last.Longevity has also granted elvenkind

a keen empathy for life and living things.The sense of oneness that elves feel withthe forests is a thing beyond our ken. Weperhaps also cannot appreciate the rich-ness elves feel in life, and the fellow-feeling they have for other living crea-tures, Elves cannot be said to truly hatealmost any creatures; even orcs are mere-ly regarded with antipathy, for they willsoon pass from life —even more quicklythan humans do. The all-consuming hateorcs feel for elves is, to the elves, but anannoying problem that can be circum-vented with a little patience and a fewgood arrow shots.

There is only one mortal race that war-rants a feeling of true hatred among el-venkind, and, interestingly enough, thehatred is for a variant elven race: thedrow. Drow also have long lifespans, andto some extent their mentalities mirrorthat of normal (high, grey, and sylvan)elves. Yet the drow nature is wholly eviland based upon darkness, things verydifferent from the philosophy of the up-perworld elves. Against the drow, otherelves show no mercy or quarter. To haveany dealings with the evil dark elves is tobetray tens of thousands of years ofelven unity with life; even evil non-drowelves will more than likely refuse to haveanything to do with the drow. If orcswere regarded with this same feeling byelves, they would be much less plentifulthan they are today, perhaps extinct.

The empathy elves feel for living thingsgives them the desire to communicatemore with life, and elves have a widerepertoire of languages as a result. Syl-van elves, more closely tied to theirforests than high or grey elves, learn dif-ferent tongues, but the language rangeis just as wide. All elves tend to be muchmore expressive than humans or otherbeings, and are more sensitive to chang-es in emotions in other creatures. Thisdoes not necessarily mean that elves arealways good listeners or make friendseasily, however; they associate primarilywith their own race, who appreciate theelven view of life best. Making friendswith shorter-lived mortals is difficult,since they know that soon (by elvenstandards) that friend will die,

Their sensitivity to emotions can beused by elves to draw people out andlearn from them; elves enjoy secrets andare always seeking them for the joy oflearning new knowledge. Perhaps thispsychological tendency is related to theirability to detect secret and concealeddoors, or perhaps this ability is just afunction of living in a society that usessecret doors a lot. This might indicatethat while elves seem to know a lot abouteveryone else, they sometimes don’tknow much about each other. Chaoticsvalue their privacy highly.

Regardless of racial preferences, elves

can make friends from many races. ln alllikelihood, elves, make few generaliza-tions racially and make judgements onbeings on a person-by-person basis.Were there such a thing as a chaoticgood orc, he or she might find somefriends among elvenfolk once the elvesgot past their initial distrust.

Most elves are basically peaceful andhave little or no desire to own things,beyond the desire to have them in orderto appreciate their beauty. It is enoughfor elves to have their long lives; materialthings are generally of little worth. Thismight seem contradictory in light of thefact that elves make excellent thieves,but elven thieves are very rarely in thebusiness for the profit to be made. Theyseek the variety and excitement thethieving life offers, and care more abouthow interesting an adventure was ratherthan what material was gained from it.Well wrought jewelry is much liked andappreciated for the level of skill requiredto fashion it; elven thieves prefer jewelryover any treasure but magical items. Theamusing insistence of the shorter-livedraces on ownership of personal propertymakes them particularly vulnerable tothe average elven thief, who may feel heor she is doing the victims a favor bypointing out, in a blunt way, that nothinglasts forever.

Avery self-willed race, elves tend to dovery much as they please, paying littleattention to social convention. They donot see other beings as superiors or infer-iors, even their own leaders. Instead,they feel all beings should have dealingsin a direct fashion without a complicatedrank structure or hierarchy. This point ofview is often appreciated by the lesspowerful members of an adventuringparty that elves are traveling with, butbothersome to the more powerful mem-bers who are supposedly in charge of theexpedition.

Leaders, to elves, are to be obeyed inmatters only where the leader is know-ledgeable, and they may be freely dis-obeyed if their rulings seem unreasona-ble. Individual elves follow their ownleaders because they want to, not be-cause “society” says they have to. Thismakes, of course, for a pretty chaoticstate of political affairs, but this is greatlymoderated in elven society by the elves’strong sense of identity as a race andtheir separateness from the rest of thesocial world. Thus, elven government, asdisordered and confusing as it seems toan outsider, is quite stable.

If there is something elves desirestrongly, it would be a knowledge ofmagical power. Magic fascinates elves,who see it as a source of infinite varietyfor their benefit and enjoyment over thelong years. They are the best magic-users of all creatures except humans,and they understand the nature of magicwell. Some elves understand magic so

well as to be able to cast spells whilewearing metallic armor, though this isnot particularly common. Because of dif-ferences in the structure of the elvenbrain and the elven personality, theycannot advance as far as humans in mag-ical ability. These differences in thebrain’s physiological structure also pre-vent elves from having psionic powers.

One interesting difference betweenelves and other beings in mental capabil-ities is also related to their long lives.Elves do not sleep as humans, dwarves,and other races do. During the time anelf is resting, he or she is vividly relivingpast memories and experiences. For allintents and purposes, memory is a sepa-rate reality, and dreams serve as a reflec-tion upon the world of the past. This is avaluable asset to elves because of theenormous amount of information andlife experiences an elf can accumulate ina few hundred to a thousand years. EIvesrarely close their eyes when they “sleep”unless there is a bright light present;thus, some have a “faraway” look in theevenings, and their companions are mis-led into thinking elves don’t sleep or restat all. While resting in this fashion, an elfis still alert to some extent but not overlyso, and may have mild difficulty comingout of the memory-dreaming trance. Thisexplains the elven resistance to sleepspells. Their resistance to charm spellsmay be due to their strong sense of self-will and individuality.

Elves’ ability to move invisibly and withgreat silence in natural terrain is anotherinteresting comment on the elven desirefor secrecy on an individual basis. Elvenspeech is soft, lilting, and melodious tothe ear; it contains many subtle varia-tions in tone to indicate the speaker’semotional state, though most races missthem or misinterpret what is being ex-pressed. Most of these delicate tonalchanges are meant to be secret fromother races — again, another commenton elves’ love of secrets.

The elven feeling of equality and kin-ship with all beings is well expressed intheir religion. Elves were born of theblood of Corellon Larethian, and thus insome sense are equals to that deity(brothers and sisters, perhaps). Elvendeities work closely together, with noone designated as an absolute or evenpartial leader. All the various cults andsects of elven religious life coexist insimilar fellowship.

The long-range psychological viewelves have of life is mirrored in theirphysical ability with missile weapons,which requires foresight and accuratedepth perception on the part of thearcher. Note that Corellon Larethian’slongbow never misses its mark. It may bethat the elven skill with swords and bowsis partially due to their kinship with adeity using these weapons and no oth-ers. Also note that this deity’s sword

D R A G O N 7

points out the most dangerous oppo-nents in battle; this is another manifesta-tion of the elven talents of sensitivity andawareness.

Few children are born to elves, a logi-cal result of having such extended life-times. This provides a check on theirnumbers and makes elves somewhatless than common. Their populationtends to remain fairly constant.

Evil elves strive for the destruction oflife, rather than the accumulation oftreasure at any cost. Banshees (alsocalled groaning spirits), the undead formof evil female elves, are particularly wellassociated with the bringing of deathwith their keening. Assassin-class elvescommit murder and destruction of life asa matter of routine, and are rather fear-some as a result. Fortunately, such be-ings are quite rare. Elven assassins andhalf-elven assassins only rarely associatewith their own kind, preferring humancompany. The other elves tend to pickup on too many subtle clues the assassingives off, thus spoiling the “secret.”

Elven males and females, though theyare aware of their differences in physicalstrength, see each other as equals. Elvenqueens are as common as elven kings.Corellon Larethian is regarded by someelves as male, by some as female, bysome as neither or both. Though femaleelves do not serve in the armies in any

great number (except as unicorn cavalryriders) because of their lower strengths,other areas of elven life are about equallydivided between male and female partic-ipants. Only actual combat occupationsshow a definite pro-male ratio, and eventhen the difference is not as extreme asin (for example) human or dwarvenarmies.

As a final comment, no other symbolcould represent as well the changelessand ever-changing state of elven life asthe holy symbol used in the worship ofCorellon Larethian: the crescent moon.Always present and always different,looking upon the world year after year,century after century, with the same se-rene face. Though humans and otherpeople come and go, the elves and themoon remain.

Valuable information for this articlewas gleaned from Paul H. Kocher’s book,Master of Middle-Earth (paperback, Bal-lantine Books). Though this book isconcerned with the Tolkien novels andtheir representation of elves and the oth-er races, there are nevertheless strongsimilarities in several areas between theelves of Tolkien and the elves of theAD&D™ game. Otherwise, the informa-tion here is taken directly from or derivedfrom the AD&D rule books.

8 APRIL 1982

by Roger and Georgia Moore

The elven pantheon is largely headquartered on one of theplanes of Olympus, in an area known as Arvandor, “The HighForest.” Here dwell a large number of elven deities, who collec-tively refer to themselves as the Seldarine, which roughly trans-lates as “the fellowship of brothers and sisters of the wood.”The title also implies a wide diversity in capabilities and areas ofinterests, linked together by a desire for cooperation. Thoughmany of these beings’ areas of influence overlap to some de-gree, there is no conflict between them. Of all the Seldarine,only Corellon Larethian is agreater god.

The Seldarine, almost with-out exception, are chaotic, neu-tral, and/or good in tempera-ment. None are evil, and a veryfew (two or three at the most)are lawful. They act for the mostpart independently of each oth-er, but they are drawn togetherby love, curiosity, friendship, tocombine their strengths to ac-complish a task, or by outsidethreats. Corellon Larethian, themost powerful of them, reinfor-ces this freedom of action andcompels none of them to per-form any task. Instead, they seemto sense when something needsdoing, and automatically a fewof them (if more than one isneeded) get together and do it.

There are a number of inter-esting similarities among theelven deities and their religions.All the religions practice toler-ance for other religious follow-ings within the Seldarine, andfor a few religions of a closelyallied nature (the cult of Skerritthe Forester being a prime ex-ample). Most of these religionsalso emphasize elven unity withlife and nature, and tend to blurthe distinction between elves and their environment. RillifaneRallathil, the Leaflord, is at once a “giant ethereal oak tree” anda “green-skinned elf clad in bark armor.” Deep Sashelas hassea-green skin that mirrors his habitat; Aerdrie Faenya is usual-ly depicted as deep blue in color, like the sky she rules. Theweapons and tools and armor used by these deities are oftenregarded as merely extensions of the divinities, sometimes astrue physical parts of them. The themes of nature and magicalpower are also very plentiful in elven mythology and religion.

Elven deities, when appearing in elven form, are usually be-tween 4’ and 8’ tall, with a few exceptions at either end of thescale. Many of these deities are also capable of assuming much

larger shape in non-elven, natural forms. Rillifane’s form as anoak tree, Sashelas’ shape as a giant, towering (vaguely huma-noid) wave of sea water, Aerdrie’s appearance as a white cloud,and Corellon’s rare incarnation as an azure moon or star areexamples of this.

Evil elvenkind have nothing to do with the gods of the Selda-rine. They frequently find the demon princes, arch-devils, andother gods of the lower planes more to their liking. Evil elvestend most often to be of chaotic nature, so the lords of theAbyss gain the majority of their worship. Lolth, the demonqueen of spiders and spiderkind, is an infamous example of a

lesser divinity who takes muchof her power from the worshipof evil elvenkind, particularlythe Drow.

The smaller elf-like beings,like leprechauns, pixies, and soforth, have their own deities (ofdemigod level) that tend to theirneeds. Depending on the gen-eral alignment of their follow-ers, these demigods may befound on several different planes,but all are generally allied withthe Seldarine.

Half-elves are allowed to wor-ship any god in the Seldarine.They, as player characters, mayalso be allowed to become cler-ics or druids of these gods, asapplicable. A fair number ofhalf-elves honor Hanali Celanil,the goddess of romance andbeauty, in honor of the love be-tween their parents that broughtthem into the world.

The numerous other membersof the Seldarine are gifted withvarying degrees of control overthe spheres of elvenkind, na-ture, magic, dancing and play,love, beauty, time, celestialphenomena, running water, wea-pon skills, craftsmanship, sec-recy, comedy and joy, chaos,

and mischief, among others. Few if any represent law, under-ground phenomena, violence without cause, warfare, and non-mammalian or non-avian life forms. One or two are concernedwith death and dying, but they are peaceful, good-aligned dei-ties and not the dark and evil types that pervade human pan-theons. Elven pantheons will vary widely from place to place, asdifferent members of the Seldarine achieve local prominence.

Following are descriptions of five of the more powerful andwidely accepted deites of the Seldarine. Since there are somany different elven gods, it is very possible that these mightnot be found in any particular DM’s universe and other deities,as mentioned before, would be present instead.

D R A G O N 9

HANALI CELANIL(goddess of romantic love and beauty)

Lesser goddessARMOR CLASS: -4MOVE: 12”HIT POINTS: 312NO. OF ATTACKS: NilDAMAGE/ATTACK: NilSPECIAL ATTACKS: Charm auraSPECIAL DEFENSES: See belowMAGIC RESISTANCE: 95%SIZE: M (5½’)ALIGNMENT: Chaotic goodWORSHIPER’S ALIGN: Good and

neutral alignments (elves) and thosewho enjoy beauty or are in love

SYMBOL: Heart of goldPLANE: OlympusCLERIC/DRUID: 14th level cleric/

10th level druidFIGHTER: NilMAGIC-USER/ILLUSIONIST: 16th level

magic-user/15th level illusionist THIEF/ASSASSIN: NilMONK/BARD: 12th level bardPSIONIC ABILITY: VIS: 15 I: 23 W: 23 D: 25C: 20 CH: 25 (Special)

Hanali Celanil is predominantly de-picted as feminine, though on rare occa-sions it is said she has appeared as ‘amale. Hanali influences the spheres oflove and beauty, and is widely revered bymany of the elves.

She owns an immense crystal fountainand pool with which she keeps watchover her followers, as if using a crystalball. When she bathes herself in the wa-ters of the pool (called the “Evergold”),her charisma score is enhanced for oneday; during that time she will receive a+75% reaction bonus and inspire awe incharacters of up to 14th level. These bo-nuses, however, are only effective againstelves or half-elves.

The goddess Aphrodite (as describedin the DEITlES & DEMIGODS™ Cy-clopedia) is the only other being whoshares the waters of Evergold with Hana-Ii, and she can gain the same bonusesmentioned above against humans. Or-iented as they are toward different races,these two goddesses rarely find them-selves at odds with one another. Theirrespective cults and followings, whilerarely assisting one another, do not ob-ject to each other’s presence.

Hanali has no physical attack mode assuch, though she does possess a magi-cal aura of 6” radius; any beings withinthis aura must save vs. magic at -4 eachround or else be permanently charmedby her beauty. This goddess may only beattacked by those beings with a +2 orbetter weapon and a negative charisma(-1 to -7, as described in the DEITIES &DEMIGODS book.). All others will be sodistracted by her presence as to miss herwith every hit.

Elven worshipers of Hanali Celanilmay, once during their lifetime, be grant-ed an increase of two charisma points vs.the opposite sex. Thus, a female elf whoreceives this gift might have her normalcharisma of (for example) 14 apply onlyto her dealings with other females; allmales would see her as having a 16 cha-risma. This effect is permanent. There isa 5% chance of this benefit being grant-ed following a great quest performed bythat worshiper. This quest might involvethe creation or preservation of a beauti-ful object, or mighty deeds done in thename of a loved one for the loved one’sbenefit.

Deity

Aerdrie

Erevan

Hanali

C L E R l C A L Q U I C K R E F E R E N C E C H A R T Sphere of R a i m e n t HolyControl Head

Sacrifice/PropitiationBody Color(s) Days Animal Frequency Form

air, weather, birds one feather sky-blue sky blue spring and birds semi-annual beautifulrobes fall equinoxes feathers

mischief, change, leather cap leather black eclipses n/a varies stolenthieves armor treasures

romance, beauty bare gold robes gold full moon n/a monthly beautifulobjects

Labelas longevity, time bare gray robes light gray sunset n/a daily prayers andknowledge

Solonor archery, hunting green hood elfin chain leaf green full moon stagand silver

Clerics of any of these deities (and of any other elven gods as well) may be either male or female. Places of worship

vary, with Aerdrie's services being conducted on open hilltops, Hanali's by a fountainside or spring, Labelas's in a small

grove, and Solonor's in the deep forest. The only restriction on where Erevan can be worshiped is that one should never

worship him in the same place twice.

1 0 A p r i l 1 9 8 2

A E R D R I E F A E N Y A (goddess of air and weather)

Lesser goddessARMOR CLASS: -5MOVE: 48” (flight only)HIT POINTS: 322NO. OF ATTACKS: 2DAMAGE/ATTACK: 5-20SPECIAL ATTACKS: Negate flightSPECIAL DEFENSES: Immune to

missile weaponsMAGIC RESISTANCE: 80%SIZE: M (6’)ALIGNMENT: Chaotic good (tends

toward neutrality)WORSHIPPER‘S ALIGN: See belowSYMBOL: Cloud with bird silhouettePLANE: Olympus and GladsheimCLERIC/DRUID: 14th level druidFIGHTER: 10th level fighterM-U/ILLUSIONIST: Special/NilTHIEF/ASSASSIN: NilMONK/BARD: 10th level bardPSIONIC ABILITY: VIS: 8 I: 24 W: 22 D: 24 C: 19 CH: 23

Aerdrie appears to be a tall elf-likewoman with feathered hair and eyebrows;from her back spring a pair of large, bird-like wings. Her feathers are of constantlychanging color. The lower half of herbody from the hips down vanishes into amisty whirlwind, so that she appears to

ance at will. He enjoys causing troublefor its own sake, but his pranks are rarelyeither helpful or deadly. His favorite tac-tic is to change his height to any sizebetween one inch and six feet. Regard-less of how he appears at any given time,Erevan will always wear green some-where upon his person.

EREVAN ILESERE(god of mischief and change)

Lesser godARMOR CLASS: -1MOVE: 18”HIT POINTS: 290NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-24 (+7)SPECIAL ATTACKS: See belowSPECIAL DEFENSES: +2 or better to hitMAGIC RESISTANCE: 85%SIZE: S to M (see below)ALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutralWORSHIPER‘S ALIGN: All chaotics

and thieves (elves)SYMBOL: Nova star with

asymmetrical raysPLANE: OlympusCLERIC/DRUID: 8th level druidFIGHTER: 7th level rangerMAGIC-USER/ILLUSIONIST: 18th level

illusionistTHIEF/ASSASSIN: 20th level thiefMONK/BARD: 10th level bardPSIONIC ABILITY: IIIS: 19 (+3, +7) I: 23 W: 16 D: 25C: 20 CH: 24

While his following is not as large asthose of the other elven deities, Erevanstill commands his share of attentionfrom the elves, particularly those en-gaged in thieving.

Erevan is fickle, an utterly unpredict-able deity who can change his appear-

never touch the ground. Aerdrie wand-ers the winds of the planes of Olympusand Gladsheim, in the company of alarge number of winged creatures ofmany types.

If aroused for battle, Aerdrie is able tocast two great blasts of wind per round,causing 5-20 points of damage eachagainst any opponent within 96” of her.She may also summon 2-12 air elemen-tals (16 hit dice each) once per day, andmay also summon 3-18 giant eagles or1-2 rocs twice per day. These creatureswill obey her unto death.

When he travels, he carries a +4 long-sword that knocks open all barriers,doors, and locks with but a touch. Whenhe so desires, he may also summon up totwenty leprechauns, sprites, pixies, orother small, mischievous elf-like beings,each with maximum hit points, to helpout in a given situation.

Erevan llesere will rarely fight anotherbeing directly, preferring to escape andpossibly catch his opponent off guard ata later time. He can, however, cast thespells Chaos and Polymorph Any Objectonce per round at will. Prior to enteringcombat, it is very likely he will make ex-tensive use of these spells to his ownadvantage.

Followers of Erevan are usually quiteunpredictable themselves, and very in-dependent. Many of them are thieves orhave thieving as one of their multipleclasses. There have been known to beelven cleric/thieves and fighter/cleric/ thieves among his worshipers, a set ofclass combinations not normally possi-ble to elvenkind. These multiclassed char-acters are always non-player characters.

This goddess is able to use all magic-user spells involving air, weather, flight,electricity, and gas at the 25th level ofability, as often as desired, one spell perround. She has the power to negate atwill the flying or levitating abilities of anycreature within 12” of her.

Any elves of non-lawful and non-evilalignment may worship Aerdrie. Elveswho desire certain weather conditionsmake the most frequent sacrifices to her,and her cult is also popular with elveswho possess flying mounts (griffons,hippogriffs, pegasi, and so forth).

It has been known to happen that anelven character who has somehow fallenfrom a great height, should he or she callout Aerdrie’s name aloud, has a small(2%) chance of receiving a Feather Fallspell just prior to striking the ground.However, those who receive this gra-cious benefit, coming directly fromAerdrie herself, will be both quested andgeased (no saving throws allowed) with-in the next 2-7 days to perform a servicefor the goddess, fully commensuratewith the character’s general level of abili-ty. Such tasks vary widely in nature,though all of them are said to be com-paratively challenging and difficult. Elvesreceiving this benefit of a Feather Fall(and its consequences) need not beworshipers of Aerdrie, but should be ofthe same alignment as her worshipers.

DR A G O N 11

LABELAS ENORETH(god of longevity)

Lesser godARMOR CLASS: -3MOVE: 12”HIT POINTS: 310NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: See belowSPECIAL ATTACKS: See belowSPECIAL DEFENSES: See belowMAGIC RESISTANCE: 93%SIZE: M (6’)ALIGNMENT: Chaotic goodWORSHIPER’S ALIGN: Chaotic good

(elves)SYMBOL: Setting sunPLANE: OlympusCLERIC/DRUID: 14th level cleric/

12th level druidFIGHTER: NilMAGIC-USER/ILLUSIONIST: 18th level

magic-user/16th level illusionist THIEF/ASSASSIN: NilMONK/BARD: 12th level bardPSIONIC ABILITY: VIS: 12 I: 25 W: 25 D: 19 C: 18 CH: 24

Like Corellon Larethian, Labelas Eno-reth variously appears as male or female(and sometimes both or neither). Re-gardless of gender, Labelas always hassilvery hair and misty gray eyes. Thisdeity wears pale-colored robes of green,blue, white, and gray.

At the creation of the elven races, Lab-elas blessed them with longevity, andpronounced that the passage of time

would do little to alter their appearances,as it did to the other races. Labelasknows the future and past of every elfand all elven-related creatures.

Labelas Enoreth is acknowledged tobe the master of time and aging by theelves. Once per round, should he fix hisgaze upon any being within 12” of him,he can place that being in temporal sta-sis (no saving throw) for as long as de-sired. At a touch, Labelas can restoreyouth to, or prematurely age, any beingby up to 100 years in either direction(save vs. magic applicable). This poweris used only once (one form or the other)on a creature during its lifetime. All mor-tals within 18” of Labelas who are hisenemies will be slowed automatically,and all mortal beings in the same radiusbut who are allied to the god will be hast-ed, if he so chooses; there is no savingthrow against this power, though magicresistance could help.

Labelas is immune to the effects of anyspell or power that involves time orwould inhibit his movement (time stop,temporal stasis, slow, paralysis, hold,etc.)

Elves who worship this being may ap-peal to him to undo the effects of age, butthis is rarely (1%) granted, and only tothose who have done an outstandingquest in his name. Such quests shouldbe worked out by the DM, and usuallyinvolve the recovery of an artifact or reliclost for hundreds or thousands of years.Followers of Labelas are usually histori-ans or other similar types.

SOLONOR THELANDIRA(god of archery and hunting)

Lesser godARMOR CLASS: -2MOVE: 15”HIT POINTS: 308NO. OF ATTACKS: 4DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-16SPECIAL ATTACKS: Arrow of slayingSPECIAL DEFENSES: See belowMAGIC RESISTANCE: 85%SIZE: M (7’ tall)ALIGNMENT: Chaotic goodWORSHIPER’S ALIGN: All good and

neutral hunters and warriors (elves)SYMBOL: Silver arrow with

green fletchingPLANE: OlympusCLERIC/DRUID: 12th level druidFIGHTER: 17th level rangerMAGIC-USER/ILLUSIONIST: 10th level

magic-userTHIEF/ASSASSIN: 12th level thiefMONK/BARD: 8th level bardPSIONIC ABILITY: VIS: 21 (+4, +9) I: 22 W: 21 D: 25C: 21 CH: 23

Clad in a great cloak of living leaves,Solonor strides through the forests in

search of game and to seek out and de-stroy evil. His only weapon is a +5 long-bow that has a range as far as the hori-zon. Solonor will not close to do battlewith an enemy, but will track and pursueinstead, firing arrows from a never-empty quiver. He cannot be surprised byany being within 48” of him, due to thekeenness of his senses.

The favorite tactic of this deity, shouldhe anticipate battling a particularly dan-gerous foe, is to physically touch that

being and then retreat. Once by himselfagain, he can then manufacture a specialArrow of Slaying designed especially tokill that one opponent, should it strikehome. This type of arrow can kill anyintended target of up to (but not includ-ing) demigod status. Many demons, dev-ils, and other monsters of the lowerplanes have felt the bite of these mis-siles; not even their magic resistance canprotect them from certain death. It takesone day to make one of these arrows.They have a +3 to hit.

When traveling through forests, Solo-nor becomes automatically invisible (asin Improved Invisibility, the 4th-level il-lusionist spell) and completely silent. Hetaught the first elves the art of hiding inand moving through natural foliage so asnot to be detected.

Elven hunters and fighters frequentlyworship Solonor Thelandira, and appealto him for better catches of game. Wor-shipers who distinguish themselves insome very extraordinary fashion have a2% chance of being given an Arrow ofSlaying of the normal sort, designed toslay the type of creature that is the elf’sgreatest enemy at that particular time.This gift can be received only once in anelf’s lifetime.

12 APRIL 1982

In the Players Handbook, it is stated that elves and halfelvesare 90% and 30% resistant to sleep and charm spells. Whatspells are considered charm spells?

Obviously, the only charm spells where the elves’ resistancemakes a difference are those which have a chance (even a smallone) of affecting them: The druid spell Charm Person or Mam-mal and the magic-user incantations Charm Person, CharmMonster, and Mass Charm. There are other charm spells, ofcourse (Charm P/ants, for instance), which can’t affect elves orany other humanoids or creatures.

Certain magic items can also charm, and since most of thosemagic items are described in terms that equate them to charmspells, it’s logical and reasonable to have elves’ and half-elves’resistance apply to the effects of these items as well, eventhough the Players Handbook does specify that the resistanceis to charm spells. These items include the Potion of HumanControl, Philter of Love, Ring of Human Influence, Rod ofBeguiling, Staff of Command, Eyes of Charming, and any mag-ic sword with the Extraordinary Power of charm person. Notealso that elves are resistant to the charming caused by a bard’ssinging and playing, which according to the Players Handbook“does not negate any immunities” to such effects.

* * *

Why are elven thieves always children?Anyone who has a relatively recent edition of the Dungeon

Masters Guide will probably think this question doesn’t makesense. The latest edition of the DMG lists 100+5d6 as the start-ing age for player-character elven thieves (page 12). This putsthem into the “young adult” range according to the Age Cate-gories chart (page 13) for high elves — the only kind of elveswho can be player characters. However, it wasn’t always so.Earlier editions of the DMG gave 50+5d6 as the starting age,which would indeed mean that all elven thieves would start theiradventuring lives as “adolescents” of 55 to 80 years old. Fortu-nately, this inaccuracy was spotted and corrected in later edi-tions; anyone with an old book can simply make the approp-riate change in the text.

* * *

Suppose an elven fighter/magic-user in plate mail (AC3)casts a Shield spell on himself. Does this simply raise his armorclass to 2, as the spell description indicates, or raise it 8 places(as from AC10 to AC2), to AC-5, with respect to hand-propelledmissiles? If the former is the case, why doesn’t a Shield spellfunction at full effectiveness when cast by an armored magic-user?

The former is the case, and the Shield spell does indeedfunction at “full effectiveness.“ The spell description is specificand should be taken literally: a magical Shield will give protec-tion equivalent to AC2, AC3 or AC4 (depending on the situ-

ation), regardless of what the spell-caster’s armor class wasprior to the casting. It doesn’t make a lot of sense for a M-U whois already AC3 to “waste” a Shield spell on himself for theminimal benefit in armor class that the spell might offer. Ofcourse, some of the spell’s other benefits (immunity to MagicMissiles, bonus to saving throws) might make it worthwhile forcertain purposes.

* * *

An 8th-level monk is reincarnated into a half-elf; does he stillretain his thief abilities and 4 damage?

If an elven fighter/magic-user/thief had reached the maxi-mum levels allowed by race and suddenly was changed into ahuman (permanently), would he still be bound by the previousracial restrictions?

Reincarnation is handled the same way whether the effectsare due to the druid spell Reincarnate or the magic-user spellReincarnation. If the form of the incarnation is a creature typethat can be a player-character race, then the character must begenerated from scratch, just as if it were a new character. Thedescription of the druid spell in the Players Handbook specifiesthat “If an elf, gnome or human is indicated (by the dice roll),the character must be created.” The reason those three racesare mentioned specifically is that those are the only threeplayer-character races on the list of creature types possiblewith the druid spell. However, the list of creature types givenunder the magic-user spell also includes dwarves, half-elves,halflings, and half-orcs — all the other races a normal playercharacter is allowed to choose from. And there is a slim chancefor any of those incarnations to be the result of a druid spell,too, if the roll on that table results in reference to the M-Ureincarnation table. The same rule applies for all reincarn-ations: If the character created by the spell effect is a player-character racial type — even the same race as the originalcharacter — then the abilities and characteristics of that char-acter must be determined just as if it were a brand-newadventurer.

So, a monk reincarnated into a half-elf cannot remain amonk, or retain any of the abilities of that class. The character isa half-elf of unspecified (until they’re rolled up) abilities andcharacteristics, and is bound by all the class restrictions andracial limitations which normally apply to that race. An elven (orany other non-human) multiclassed character reincarnatedinto a human can no longer be multiclassed; like it says in thedescription of the druid spell in the Players Handbook, “theclass they (reincarnated characters) have, if any, in their newincarnation might be different indeed.” Except for the fact thatthe reincarnated character “will recall the majority of his or herformer life and form,” a reincarnated character is essentially anall-new adventurer. Maybe you don’t like the idea of your 10th-level paladin coming back to life as a gnome — but isn’t any lifebetter than no life at all?

D R A G O N 1 3

by Roger Moore

Half-elves, the children of human-elf unions, are not in them-selves a true race. Such individuals are found throughout hu-man and elven societies, though not in any great numbers.

In appearance half-elves, male and female, tend to standapart from their contemporaries of either race. They are largerthan elves and smaller than humans, with the coordination andmental sharpness of the former and the physical might andtoughness of the latter. Their facial features (ears in particular)tend to carry a strong elvish influence, though hair color, skincolor and texture, and eye color are largely derived from thehuman parent.

Despite these differences, most half-elves see themselves as gifted and not“strange.” They are proud of their heri-tage and their abilities, and are widelyaccepted in most societies. If there wereever people who could make a claim tohaving the best of two worlds, half-elveswould be the ones.

Even the inner nature of the half-elvesshows a confluence of human and elvenelements. A strong love of natural beautyand the outdoors is usually picked upfrom the elven parent, along with a stronghint of chaotic variability. Whereas elvesare by comparison rather clannish andavoid contact with non-elven races, half-elves are very outgoing and make friendseasily, perhaps a result of mixing the af-finity elves feel for all living creatureswith the adaptability of humans.

Half-elves appear very versatile, andmanage to fit into a fairly wide range ofsocial environments. They have a widerrange of possible character classes andclass combinations than any other raceor being. Because they possess souls,half-elves may become normal clerics and druids; although theformer class offers a rather limited career, as druids half-elvesmay achieve great power and influence. It would appear thathalf-elves have not as much capability for (or love of) magic aseither humans or elves have, but they may reach reasonablelevels of skill nonetheless. Their druid-like abilities also helpmake half-elves good at operating in the ranger and bardclasses.

The most profitable career that some half-elves may turn tois, of course, thieving, in which they are marginally better over-all than even humans. Half-elves seem to be exceptionally goodat picking pockets; some believe this is because they presentsuch a friendly appearance that people don’t mind having themnear, and some say it is a function of their exceptional curiosity.Evil half-elves make very good assassins, being able to pass

through elven or human society and disguise themselves asmembers of either race. Only humans and half-orcs haveenough taste for such a career so as to do better at assassin-style killing than half-elves.

Though long-lived, half-elves are not extraordinarily so.They tend to share the faster-paced human view of time thanthe all-the-time-in-the-world elven view. Still, with an averagelifespan of 250 years, they tend to feel that they need not rush todo most things. They do seem to try to keep fairly active, andmany half-elves are drawn to a vagabond, adventuring sort oflife. Perhaps many of them feel some degree of separatenessfrom the lives of humans and elves, not completely at home in

either case even if otherwise welcome.Individually, half-elves are quite varied

in personality. Some have more elventraits than human and others vice versa.A few manage to achieve a reasonablebalance between the two ways of seeingthings, mixing a deep respect for natureand life with the generally human desireto build and alter the environment, andinteract with other peoples on a morefrequent basis.

In religious matters, half-elves mayadopt either human or elven deities;there doesn’t seem to be any particularpreference in either direction, thoughthe society in which the half-elf wasraised is usually the determining factor.

Most people think of half-elves only interms of those who are the first-genera-tion descendants of humans and elves;yet, such half-elves are fertile, and mayhave children by other humans, elves, orhalf-elves. Second-generation and fur-ther descendants will possess more ofthe characteristics of whichever blood-line is predominant. It is not unusual forotherwise normal humans on rare occa-

sion to have infravision out to a range of several tens of feet, orpointed ears, or a light build, to remind them of an elven ances-tor; in a similar manner, there are elves who may be strongerthan normal, or have reduced resistance to sleep and charmspells, or a broader build, passed on by a human ancestor. Itmight have been more appropriate in the AD&D™ rules forhalf-elves to have had such variable qualities, to better reflectthe unpredictability of genetics and heredity.

It is interesting to note that humans are apparently not theonly beings that elves can intermix with. Tallfellow halflingsbear distinct resemblances to their elven neighbors, for goodreason. Since halflings are closely related to humans in manyrespects, this is not surprising. Half-elves of other racial mix-tures are virtually unknown. Elves and orcs cannot interbreed,which is interesting since both races can breed with humanity.

14 APRIL 1982

D R A G O N 1 5

by Gary Gygax

® 1982 E. Gary Gygax. All rights reserved.

Because there are many explanations needed to completethe section on cantrips for magic-users, the Good Reader willbe pleased to discover that this introduction is short! For thoseof you who failed to acquire last month’s issue, I suggest youdrop this one and get busy finding a copy of the initial part ofthis series —you’ve already missed a crucial portion of a wholenew dimension of fun for magic-users, the O-level spell, orcantrip. Moving right along, here are the details of the balanceof the cantrips listed last time:

LEGERDEMAIN CANTRIPSChange (Alteration) By means of a change cantrip, the cas-A of E: 1 object ter alters one small object to another,CT: 1/10 segment although the change must be within the

same kingdom, and only animal and ve-getable objects are affected. Thus, apiece of parchment can be changed to abrightly colored cloth square, then thecloth can be changed to a rose by anoth-er use of the cantrip. Likewise, a bird canbe changed into a bat, the bat to a flyingsquirrel by another use of the same typeof cantrip, and so forth. Each changerequires a change cantrip. The cantripwill not cause more than a 50% increaseor decrease in size/volume, and the ef-fect will last for a base time of 1 turn. Ifthe change is radical, then the time willbe reduced accordingly; i.e., a dead tolive object ‘is a radical change and willlast only 1 round. On the other hand, avery slight alteration such as colorchange or the like will last for 1 or moredays. Saving throw does not apply aslong as small, animal-intelligence, non-magical creatures of normal sort areconcerned. Typically, a magic word isverbalized while the hand makes a passover the object to be affected.

Distract(Enchantment)

A of E: SpecialCT: 1/3 segment

By means of this cantrip, the castercauses all who are watching to look at anarea of the caster’s choice. The areamust be to the right or left of the caster,and the distraction must be within 10 feetof the caster. Thus, the caster can causeviewers to watch his or her right handand a place a few feet distant where thecaster’s finger is pointing, while the cas-ter’s left hand does something unno-ticed. Saving throws apply only to indi-viduals above 0 level, or with at least 1+1hit dice and an intelligence of greaterthan low rating. The distract cantrip hasa duration of only 1 segment. The casterspeaks an attention-getting word orphrase and gestures to the left or right toeffectuate the cantrip.

Hide (Illusion)A of E: 1 objectCT: 1/10 segment

This cantrip allows the caster to magi-cally hide an object of virtually any sizefor a short period of time. The cantripcasts a dweomer over the desired objectso that it becomes invisible to all who arein front of the caster. Note that the magicdoes not affect sound, so that if a crow-ing rooster were made to seemingly dis-

16 APRIL 1982

appear, the noise of its cry would still beheard. Likewise, if an elephant were hid-den by the cantrip, the sound of its tread,trumpeting, or even breathing might beheard. The dweomer will not work ifviewers are beside or behind the caster.The cantrip lasts for 1 turn on an objectof 2 cubic yards or less in size. The dura-tion is reduced by 1 round for every addi-tional 2 cubic yards of volume made toseemingly disappear, until at 20 cubicyards of volume, duration is 1 round. Atover 20 cubic yards of volume, durationis reduced to a number of segmentsequal to -1 per 2 additional cubic yards;i.e., the hide cantrip will have a durationof 9 segments if cast on an object of 22cubic yards volume; 8 segments for 24cubic yards, 7 segments for 26, 6 for 28, 5for 30, 4 for 32, 3 for 34, 2 for 36, and 1segment for 38 cubic yards. Anythingover 38 cubic yards in volume will at bestmomentarily seem to disappear and thenreappear again. Verbal component is anactivating word such as abracadabrawhile the hand makes a pass across theforepart of the object. The caster candispel the cantrip simply by speaking theactivating word.

Mute (AIteration)A of E: 1 objectCT: 1/10 segment

The mute cantrip allows the caster toalter the shape of small objects of a min-eral nature. It applies to glass, metal,stone, etc. A plane can be altered to arod, a torus to a sphere; etc. Thus, a coincould be changed to be a ring. Similarly,glass could be changed to crystal, leadto silver, copper to gold, etc. The dura-tion of the mute is but 1 round. if another

individual actually touches the object af-fected, the dweomer of the cantrip mightbe affected: The individual touching itmakes a saving throw versus magic, andif it succeeds the cantrip is dispelled.Verbal and somatic components are sim-ilar to a change cantrip.

Palm (Illusion) This cantrip enables the caster to se-A of E: 1 small object cret a small object in his or her handCT: 1/10 segment without seeming to do so. The dweomer

creates an illusory duplicate of the ob-ject to be palmed, so that the other canbe taken while under a form of hide can-trip (which actually works regardless ofviewer position). The illusory duplicateof the palmed object lasts but 1 segment,so it must be covered or screened fromview, or else any onlookers will see itwink out of existence. A special word isspoken while a digit points at the objectto be palmed. The caster may then pickup the now-invisible actual object whileseemingly only touching or handling theillusory duplicate.

Present (Alteration) A present cantrip enables the caster toA of E: 1 small object bring any small object or series of ob-CT: 1/6 segment jects from within a 2-foot radius of his or

her person to his or her hand. The objector objects will appear magically in thecaster’s hand as he or she puts the handupward or outward with a flourish andspeaks the key word to begin the dweo-mer. If an object as large as a tankard isthus presented, the cantrip will be ex-hausted, but as many as a dozen coinscould be brought to the hand before thedweomer failed. The caster must know

the exact nature and location of the ob-ject or objects to be presented. If theyare on the person of another individual, asaving throw versus magic applies to theindividual, unless the object or objectsare in plain sight.

P E R S O N -A F F E C T I N G C A N T R I P SBelch (Evocation)A of E: 1 personCT: 1/10 segment

Blink (Evocation)A of E: 1 personCT: 1/10 segment

Cough (Evocation)A of E: 1 personCT: 1/3 segment

Giggle (Charm)A of E: 1 personCT: 1/3 segment

Nod (Evocation)A of E: 1 personCT: 1/10 segment

Scratch (Evocation)A of E: 1 creatureCT: 1/6 segment

When this cantrip is cast the subjectwill involuntarily belch. A saving throw isapplicable only to see how loud or muf-fled the burping sound is, failure indicat-ing a very loud belch, success meaningthat the sound is relatively low andmuffled. Verbal component is an almostinaudible belch while the caster’s handpresses his or her diaphragm.

By means of this cantrip, the castercauses the subject person (or creature)to blink his, her or its eye or eyes. Theblinking reaction is only momentary, ofcourse, lasting no more than half a se-cond. A successful saving throw indi-cates only a single eye wink, or no effectfor one-eyed creatures. The verbal com-ponent is a softly spoken word (such as“hatcha-cha”) while the fingers snap.

This cantrip enables the caster to makethe subject individual cough spasmodi-tally. If a saving throw is made, thecough is only a brief hacking which willnot usually disturb other activities. Fail-ure indicates a loud and active series ofcoughs lasting from 1 to 3 seconds. Thesomatic component is a gagging gesturewhile a gasp is verbalized.

By means of this cantrip, the castercauses the subject individual to involun-tarily giggle. The loudness and length ofthis reaction depend on the saving throw.If the subject fails to save, the result willbe a chuckle or giggle lasting about 2 or3 seconds, If the save succeeds, only abrief chuckle will be caused. The verbalcomponent is a single word or phrase(known in magical circles as a “punchline”) while one finger is moved back andforth rapidly.

This cantrip causes the subject to givean involuntary nod of the head due tomuscle contraction. The effect is as if thesubject were nodding in agreement or asa greeting. A successful saving thrownegates the effect. The caster gives aslight nod of the head while pointing hisor her small finger at the subject.

A scratch cantrip causes the subjectcreature to experience an annoying itchon some portion of the body. Unless asaving throw is successful, the subjectwill involuntarily scratch at this itch. Thisscratching will take but a second, andwill immediately cause the itch to cease.Verbal component is the name of somebody pest (flea, louse, etc.) while thearea of the itch is pointed to.

D R A G O N 1 7

Sneeze (Evocation)A of E: 1 creature

A cantrip of this nature causes an irri-tation in the nasal passages of the sub-

CT: 1/2 segment ject. Unless the subject makes a suc-cessful saving throw versus magic, asneeze will occur. This single sneeze willrelieve the irritation. The caster verbal-izes the name of an irritant substancewhile touching his or her nose.

Twitch (Evocation) By means of this cantrip, the casterA of E: 1 creature causes a muscle contraction in someCT: 1/3 segment portion of the subject creature’s appen-

dages — head, neck, hand, arm, foot,leg, etc. The twitch wilt be noticeable,but will not cause the subject great dis-comfort or loss of control or concentra-tion. The cantrip is negated by a suc-cessful saving throw. Verbal componentis the name of the area to be affectedwhile the caster gazes at the area andmakes a twitching motion with the hand.

Wink (Enchantment) This cantrip enables the caster toA of E: 1 person cause the subject individual to wink oneCT: 1/10 segment eye. A saving throw indicates that the

winking is rapid and not greatly notice-able, while failure to save indicates agreatly exaggerated, prolonged winking.The caster speaks a magical phrase(such as “23 skidoo”) white making animperceptible winking of his or her eye.

Yawn (Evocation)A of E: 1 creatureCT: 1/6 segment

A yawn cantrip makes the subjectcreature feel a brief wave of drowsinesswhich in turn evokes a yawn reaction. If asaving throw versus magic succeeds, thesubject creature is totally unaffected bythe dweomer of the cantrip. Failure,however, not only forces a yawn to im-mediately occur, but the subject is thenmore susceptible to asleep spell. Duringthe balance of the round in which theyawn cantrip was cast, and during thewhole of the succeeding round, the sub-

sleep. Even a creature of up to 5+2 hit dice can be affected by sleep if previous-ly victimized by a yawn cantrip, but theeffect of the sleep spell is diced for as ifthe creature had 4+1 to 4+4 hit dice; i.e.,there is a 50% chance it will not be af-fected. The caster hums a lullaby for theverbal component while making a rock-ing motion with cupped hands.

PERSONAL CANTRIPS OF THE APPRENTICE

Bee (Summoning) When this cantrip is employed, theA of E: 1 bee caster summons a honey bee from some-CT: 1/2 segment place — where is of no importance, for

the creature appears in seconds. Thebee will appear in whatever spot the cas-ter is gazing at, up to 1” distance fromhim or her. The bee is, of course, an-noyed, and it is 90% likely to sting anyliving creature it finds itself upon. (Thiswill certainly cause the subject to reactviolently if it would otherwise be so af-fected by a bee sting.) The verbal. com-ponent is a low buzzing sound while thecaster’s forefinger moves through flight-Iike passes.

Bluelight(Conjuration)

A of E: ¼’CT: ½ segment

This cantrip enables the caster to con-jure a small sphere of glowing blue, ra-diance. The light has an eerie effectwhen seen from a distance, but it onlyilluminates an area in a 5’ radius. Fur-thermore, the bluelight does not cast re-flections beyond this radius. The lightdoes not affect either infravision or ul-travision. When the caster says a rhymeusing the words “blue” and “light” in anycombination, the bluelight appears in hisor her open palm and remains aglow un-til the caster ceases to concentrate on it.

Bug (Summoning) A variation of the bee cantrip; the bugA of E: 1 bugCT: ½ segment

cantrip enables the caster to summonsome form of crawling insect. The beetleor bug appears in the same manner asthe bee summoned by the cantrip of thatname. It will likewise be irritated and willpinch, bite, or otherwise attack the crea-ture it might find itself upon, with ap-propriate results. Verbal component isthe name of the insect desired while the

ject will automatically fall into comatoseslumber from a sleep spell cast upon it,so 1 additional creature will be vulner-able to the spell if more than 1 creature of4 or fewer hit dice are subjected to thespell. Further, if creatures of 4+1 to 4+4hit dice are involved, there is then achance that 2 will actually be affected by

18 APRIL 1982

caster’s forefinger makes a sliding andpointing motion at the desired area ofthe bug’s appearance (up to 1” distantfrom him or her).

Firefinger (Alteration) The firefinger cantrip enables the cas-A of E: ½’ ter to cause a jet of flame up to one-halfCT: 1/3 segment foot in length to shoot forth from his or

her finger. The flame is very hot and willignite combustible materials such asparchment, twigs, kindling, and the likewithout difficulty, providing the mate-rials are relatively dry. The flame persistsfor up to 1 segment. The caster speaks aword of power over elemental fire (ron-son, zip-po, or the much revered word,dun-hill), extends the forefinger, andmakes a downward or sideways motionwith the thumb.

Gnats (Summoning) A cantrip of this nature is similar to theA of E: 1 cubic foot bee and bug cantrips described above,CT: ½ segment except that when it is used a cloud of

gnats is summoned. The swarm will im-mediately proceed to fly around thehead of the nearest living creature, andunless this creature makes a successfulsaving throw versus poison, the cloud ofgnats will distract the creature for from1-4 segments before the gnats fly else-where. The verbal component is a high-pitched buzzing sound while the casterpoints a digit at the area in which thegnat cloud is to appear.

Mouse (Summoning) Similar to the cantrip which summonsA of E: 1 mouse a bee or a bug, the mouse cantrip ena-CT: 1/2 segment bles the caster to bring forth a mouse up

to 1” from his or her position. The animalwill be a typical field mouse or as similara species as possible. When it arrives,the caster will have no control over themouse, and the animal will behave aswould any mouse in the given situation.The caster speaks a summoning word(typically the name of a food item desir-able by mice) while holding his or herhands in such a way as to resemblemouse ears.

Smokepuff When this cantrip is employed, a puff(Evocation) of actual smoke appears in the desired

A of E: 1’ diam. cloud location, up to 1” distant from the caster,CT: 1/3 segment and will ascend as would a normal cloud

of smoke, or be dissipated, dependingon the prevailing conditions. The castercan cause the smoke to be either white,gray, black, brown, yellow, or green. Thecaster names the color of smoke desiredwhile moving a hand from an extendedhorizontal position to a vertical one,meanwhile breathing forth a puff of air.

Spider (Summoning) This cantrip, much as does a bee orA of E: 1 small spider bug or mouse or gnats cantrip, sum-CT: ½ segment mons a small, ordinary spider from else-

where to the location desired by the cas-ter, up to 1” distant from his or her per-son. The arachnid so summoned will us-ually be a common garden spider or thelike, no larger than an inch or two indiameter, and basically harmless. Thereis a 5% chance that the creature will turnout to be one with powerful poison(blackwidow, brown recluse, etc.). Sincethe spider summoned will be annoyed,the creature upon which it finds itself, ifsuch is the case, will be subject to animmediate biting attack. This will haveonly a momentary effect, distracting thevictim for 1 segment, for a normal spider.If the spider is of the very poisonous sort,the victim must also make a saving throwversus poison at +4. Success indicatesonly 1 point of damage is inflicted. Fail-ure indicates 2 points of damage are in-flicted, and the victim will feel sick andbe unable to act normally for 1-4 daysunless a neutralize poison spell is cast toremove the toxin. (A slow poison willdefer the sickness for 1 day.) To cast thecantrip, the caster speaks the word“arachnid” while spreading his or herfingers and wiggling them.

Tweak (Conjuration) By means of this cantrip, the casterA of E: 1 creature causes an unseen thumb and forefingerCT: 1/3 segment to harmlessly, but annoyingly, tweak

some portion of a chosen subject withina 1” radius of the caster. Portions subjectto the tweak cantrip are: cheek, nose,ear, beard, moustache, whiskers, or tail.The cantrip’s effects do not disturb spellcasting, although the tweaking mightdistract any creature by causing it to turnto discover the source of the annoyance.A failure to save versus magic (with re-spect to creatures with an intelligenceunder 7), or failure to roll a score greaterthan intelligence rolled on 3d6 (with re-spect to creatures with intelligence of 7or greater), indicates a l-segment dis-traction. The caster speaks a magicphrase (such as “kitchy-kitchy-coo”)while making a pinching and pulling mo-tion with thumb and forefinger.

Unlock (Conjuration) This cantrip enables the caster to con-A of E: 1 lock jure an invisible, key-like force approp-CT: ½ segment riate to the locking mechanism to be

opened (or closed). The unlock cantripwill affect only simple locks of the mostbasic sort — typically those which haveclosing pressure prongs or bolt and pins,or bolt and spring closures. Locks withtumblers or levers, as well as secret-combination locks, are not subject to

D R A G O N 1 9

this cantrip. Note that simple locks withcomplex wards to prevent skeleton-keytriggering will be subject to an unlockcantrip. While the caster speaks a wordor phrase associated with locks (tic-tack-doublelock, yah-el, etc.) he or shemakes a twisting motion with fingersheld as if to grasp a key.

HAUNTING-SOUND CANTRIPS

Creak (Evocation) By means of this cantrip, the casterA of E: Special evokes a noise similar to that of a doorCT: 1/6 segment with corroded hinges slowly opening, or

else a sound as if someone or somethingwere walking across squeaking floor-boards. The former sound lasts for 1/3segment; the latter noise will last half asegment and seem to traverse up to 10feet distance. The caster makes a lowcreaking sound in his or her throat whileusing a hand to make an opening motionor fingers to make a walking motion.

approach closer than 1”. The castermust softly vocalize sounds similar tofootsteps while pointing in the area theyare to occur initially and subsequently.

Groan (Illusion)A of E: SpecialCT: 1/6 segment

A groan cantrip creates the audible il-lusion of a wracking cry coming fromsome location no more than 1” from thecaster. Naturally, those creatures withinhearing distance are allowed a savingthrow versus magic, and if it succeeds,the individual will hear no such noise.The caster makes a soft groaning soundin his or her throat while pointing to thearea from which the sound is to appearto come. Note that a container or doorwill not hamper the range of the cantrip,so that a groaning sound can be made toseem to come from behind a door, in achest, etc.

Moan (Illusion) This cantrip is the same as a groanA of E: Special cantrip, except that the sound involved isCT: 1/10 segment either a pitiful moaning or else an eerie

Footfall (Illusion)A of E: SpecialCT: 1/6 segment

When this cantrip is employed, thecaster creates the audial illusion of foot-steps. The sound is as if a human orhumanoid was walking. The footfalls canbe soft or fairly noisy. They can ap-proach, move away from, follow, or oth-erwise seem to parallel a person or party.They must begin within 1” of the caster,but they may thereafter move away fromhim or her up to a 2” distance, or may

one. Verbalization of the desired soundis either a low-pitched one for the haunt-ing effect or a high-pitched one for thepitiful effect.

Rattle (Illusion) By means of this cantrip, the casterA of E: Special causes the audible illusion of a rattlingCT: 1/10 segment sound associated with chains. Its direc-

tion and distance are the same as for agroan cantrip. The sound will last for up

20 APRIL 1982

to 2 seconds. All creatures within 1” ofthe sound are entitled to a saving throwversus magic to determine if they hearthe illusionary sound. The spell casternames the rattling device which he orshe desires to create the illusion of whileshaking one hand vigorously.

Tap (Evocation)A of E: 1 sq. footCT: 1/6 segment

By means of this cantrip, the caster isable to evoke an invisible force whichwill tap or rap against some solid object— a door, lid, floor, table, wall, pane, orwhatever. The sound will occur once,twice, or thrice according to the numberof fingers extended by the caster. It is anactual sound, and creatures within 1” ofthe noise will certainly hear it if their sen-sory organs permit. Verbal component isa hollow sound created by the tongueagainst the palate, or a key phrase spok-en softly, while the finger makes a tap-ping motion.

Thump (Illusion)A of E: SpecialCT: 1/10 segment

magic nullifies the cantrip’s effect. Thecaster can cause the sound to seemingly

An audible illusion, the thump cantripcauses all creatures within a 1” radius of

come from any location within a 1” radi-

the area of effect to hear a loud but

us of his or her person. The caster swal-

muffled thumping sound, as if some-thing large just fell from a height of afootor two. A successful saving throw versus

lows loudly while pointing toward thearea where the cantrip is to come from,while thinking of the thumping sound.

Whistle (Evocation) When this cantrip is cast, the dweomerA of E: Special causes a faint or loud whistling sound. ACT: 1/6 segment faint whistling can be heard within 10’, a

loud one within 30’. The sound can besharp and normal-seeming or echoing,hollow, and eerie. The caster must whis-tle softly in a manner generally similar tothe desired sound while he or she looksat the area from which the sound is tocome and holds two fingers near his orher mouth.

THE CASTING OF CANTRIPS

Cantrips are basically cast the same way that spells are cast.Note that despite their simple components and short castingtimes, only two cantrips can be cast during any round by a

And now that you have finished with cantrips for magic-

single magic-user or apprentice. Furthermore, the segment ofthe round in which the cantrip is cast is dependent on the usual

users, get ready for next month, when cantrips for illusionists

factors: surprise, initiative, and so on. After the first of the twocantrips is cast, the magic-user must roll a four-sided die to

will be featured. Until then....

determine how many segments later he or she will be able tocast the second cantrip (if so desired). It is not possible for amagic-user to cast both a spell and a cantrip during the sameround, no matter how short the casting times.

DR A G O N 21

22 APRIL 1982

DRAGON 2 3

Gunpowder — and the advent of bal-listic weapons — proved the beginningof the end for the medieval warfare de-picted in the AD&D™ world.

Armor, bladed weapons, stone castles— all were made obsolete by gunpowderand firearms. Nothing withstood “thegreat equalizer” that let men kill from asafe distance without concern for per-sonal strength or valor.

So, the Dungeon Masters Guide forgood reason warns against the desire to“have gunpowder muddying the watersof your fantasy world.” (p. 113) Yet, in-troducing gunpowder to a campaignraises some fascinating possibilities. Thetrick, of course, is limiting the use of fire-arms to maintain game balance.

For example, DMs should not allowalchemists and artisans to greatly im-prove the technology of firearms in theirworld; gunnery should remain an art, nota science. For a long time artillery wasrare, expensive and clumsy in battlefielduse— more a psychological than a phys-ical weapon. The use of gunpowder in afantasy world should reflect this; withproper design, almost any early firearmcould be introduced into the AD&D set-ting, if the DM can devise a logical justi-fication for its presence. With this inmind, what follows is historical informa-tion on various firearms, with ideas fortranslating them into play.

Early gunsThe first real gun was a large, bottle-

shaped iron pot that fired an enormouscrossbow bolt when powder in its bot-tom was ignited. Such weapons wereknown as “Pots de Fer,” and were madeas early as 1327 in England,

In 1328, the French fleet that raidedSouthhampton in the opening year of

the Hundred Years’ War was outfittedwith one “Pot de Fer,” 3 Ibs. of gun-powder, and 2 boxes of 48 large boltswith iron “feathers.” Although arrowsand bolts were soon replaced by bulletsof lead, iron, or stone, they were still be-ing fired from muskets as late as the timeof the Spanish Armada, and ribalds madein England in 1346 are known to havefired “quarrels.”

The guns the French used to defendCambrai the following year were boughtfrom artisans by weight, and averagedonly 25 Ibs. per gun.

The most popular gun of this periodwas the “Ribald,” a series of small gunbarrels clamped together (looking some-what similar to the much later Gatling

gun or the Nebelwerfer). Their touchholes were arranged so a single sweep ofthe gunner’s match would set them alloff.

Ribalds were usually mounted onwheeled carts, with a shield to protectthe gunner from arrows, These “carts ofwar” were particularly useful when aimedat breaches and doorways. However, theballs fired by a ribald were far too smallto breach walls, and the weapon took along time to load or reload — each tubehad to be cleaned out, filled with acharge of powder and a ball, wadded,tamped down, and primed.

By the 1340s, 3-inch caliber guns wereused for sieges, and in at least one in-stance, by the English at Crecy in 1346,

24 APRIL 1982

on the battlefield. These guns fired ballsof iron and stone and the three cannonsat Crecy sold the English on the use ofartillery.

Most of these early pieces were cast inbrass or copper rather than iron. In 1353Edward III ordered four new guns cast ofcopper from William of Aldgate, a Lon-don brazier. The guns cost the equiva-lent of about $150 each in today’s mon-ey. These were probably small guns,because large castings tended to haveflaws and airholes. This led to the guns’distressing habit of blowing up whentouched off, killing the wrong people.James II of Scotland was killed in 1460,while besieging Roxburgh Castle, whenone of his big guns, a bombard made in

France and called “The Lion,” blew upand a piece of shrapnel struck him in thechest.

Despite the risks, large barrels wereeffective in battering down castle walls.These were wrought rather than cast.White-hot iron bars were laid side-by-side around a wooden core and weldedtogether by the blows of the gunsmith’shammer. Iron rings or hoops were clamp-ed around the barrel to strengthen it.

As the arts of metallurgy and castingimproved, bronze cast guns replacedhooped guns. By the end of the 15th cen-tury hooped guns were rarely seen. Mis-siles during this time were almost entire-ly of stone; firing metal balls was simplytoo expensive. Cannon-ball cutters were

skilled workers, paid as much per day asa man-at-arms.

At the siege of Harcourt in 1449, a gunproduced by the Bureau brothers didheavy damage — “the first shot thrownpierced completely through the rampartof the outer ward, which is a fine workand equal in strength to the Keep.” In thenext year, the Bureau brothers’ gunstook sixty fortified areas. Many Surren-dered as soon as the big guns were inposition, for the defenders knew theywould simply be battered to pieces. Itwas no longer necessary to starve some-one out of his castle — you could nowblow it down about his ears.

On the battlefield, however, supremacywas much longer coming. Early gunswere emplaced on earthen mounds anddug in, or upon wooden platforms. Thesewere not mobile, so if an enemy avoidedthe ground the guns were aimed at, theguns were useless. Mobile carriages wereintroduced in the early fifteenth century(such mounted cannon were known as“snakes”) but the introduction of light-weight horsedrawn gun carriages andtrunnions (the projections on a gun bar-rel that act as pivots for elevation) camelater. Cannons had smooth bores forcenturies before successful rifling wasdeveloped, and the maximum effective(wall-piercing) range of a 14th centurysmooth-bore cannon was 200 yards witha 30-lb. missile.

DMs should not allow reliable hand-guns or shoulder arms in their AD&Dworlds, although historically, one-manfirearms were in use as early as 1386.The individual barrels that made up ri-balds were mounted separately on spear-shafts and given to men-at-arms. A sold-ier put the spear shaft under his arm,

D R A G O N 2 5

resting its butt on the ground behindhim, and fired the handgun by lighting a“match” (a length of cord impregnatedwith saltpeter and sulphur so it burnedslowly and evenly). These guns, whichfired high into the air and were difficult toaim, were soon replaced by short-shaftedweapons that rested against the chest orshoulder. These were very inaccurate,but when firing in massed volleys couldbe quite effective.

Such firearms were unpopular withknights, for the lowliest peasant couldpierce armor with one. Professionalsoldiers weren’t too happy, either. Shake-speare captures their feelings when hecalls gunpowder “villainous saltpeter,”and a Venetian mercenary army in 1439massacred Bolognese handgun men forusing “this cruel and cowardly innova-tion, gunpowder.”

Soon gunstocks had hooks that caughton a parapet or barricade to absorbsome of the recoil. The development ofthe matchlock gun allowed guns to rulearmor, and the medieval setting typicalof AD&D adventuring was largely gone.The matchlock gun became the musket,wheel-lock guns were introduced, andmodern weaponry was in sight.

Gunsmiths and their equipmentPlayer characters should not be al-

lowed to obtain skill in gunsmithing, nor

in battlefield gunnery (save at great risk,in emergency situations). Historically,gunners were artisans, private individu-als who produced firearms for a fee andoften hired themselves out to work theguns they made. The price of a gun orguns always provided the buyer with theweapon, any stands or carriages neces-sary for its use, ammunition, gunpowder(or at least its ingredients), and all thenecessary gunners’ equipment: drivells(iron ramrods), tampions or tompions(wads), matches, touches (for lightingmatches or powder through a touchhole;a “touch” is basically a torch mounted ona pole), and firing pans (metal pans filledwith hot coals, to light the touches so noflint and tinder were used to avoidsparks). Gunmakers provided bags ofhide to carry the gunpowder, and scalesand a mortar and pestle for mixing it.They manufactured barrels of all sizeswith locks, to store gunpowder in a cas-tle or permanent gun emplacement, andtrays of wood or brass in which damppowder could be dried over a fire or inthe sun. If their guns fired cast bullets— of iron, brass, copper, or lead — thegunners provided the molds for eachfirearm.

A gunsmith, one can see, was bothhighly skilled and versatile, and oftenemployed underlings to round stone balls,work and cast the metal, and manhandle

guns in battle. DMs may wish to increasethe smith’s fee over that given for an“engineer-artillerist” in the DMG (p. 29-30) on the grounds that men familiar withthese new and relatively mysteriousweapons are in great demand, and rare.Two hundred gold pieces a month seemsabout right (plus 10% of the cost of wea-pons made, as mentioned in the DMG),but remember that demand, supply, po-litics, alignment, and character will af-fect a gunsmith’s charge; a party shouldfind a gunsmith’s services quite dear — ifnot outrageous.

A gunsmith is capable of all the tasksof an armorer or blacksmith, given time,but will not be pleased if kept long awayfrom his guns. Most gunsmiths will havepet theories and grand schemes aboutplacement and use of guns in warfare.These plans may be impractical or inge-nious, and once hired, a gunsmith willattempt to get his plans implemented ifhis employer seems rich enough to makethem reality.

GunpowderThis explosive is an unstable mixture

of potassium nitrate (saltpeter), sulphur,and charcoal. It does not travel well andtherefore was mixed on the battlefield.Gunners were specialists in mixingcharges and judging the correct amountof each ingredient to use, although this

26 APRIL 1982

too was at times more an art than ascience. Powder with coarse saltpeterburned slowly; when finer saltpeter wasused, the powder exploded promptlyand with greater force. Many guns blewup, and firing a charge through a touch-hole became suicide. Instead, gunnerslaid a train of fast-burning powder alongthe outside of the gun barrel, lit it, andran for safety.

The saltpeter is expensive and rare (inthe area of 22 gp per pound); the sulphurless so (averaging 8 gp per pound). Thecharcoal is cheap (1 cp for a 5-lb. bag)and generally available, preferably fromthe burning of willow wood. Willow fag-gots cost 5 sp per cord (a cord can bemeasured in many ways, but is usually128 cubic feet). Local supply will ofcourse affect these prices.

The formula is generally 75% saltpe-ter, 15% charcoal, and 10% sulphur, butthese proportions vary if the powder isused for blasting. One infamous use ofgunpowder is commemorated in the ex-pression “hoist with his own petard”: thepetard was a bucket of gunpowder thegunner was supposed to take, dodgingarrows and the like, and hang on the gateof a hostile stronghold (hammering inhis own nail to hang it on, if none werehandy) and then ignite, to blow in thegate. It was not, as one can see, verypopular with gunners.

GunsMedieval guns were of all manner of

names and calibers. Often individualweapons of the same caliber made bythe same maker varied greatly in weightand dimensions.

Some guns loaded through the breechand others through the muzzle. Theywere made of iron, steel, cuprum (har-dened copper or brass), latten (crudebrass), and “gunmetal” (or bronze, analloy of 90 parts copper and 10 parts tin).Bronze was stronger than iron, but inearly examples of the alloy the properproportions of copper and tin were un-known; smiths guessed, and as a result alot of bronze guns blew up.

Early guns (circa 1350) were small,firing balls of up to 3 Ibs. weight, but by1400 guns fired balls of up to 200 Ibs.Smaller-caliber guns remained more ac-curate than those of large caliber. Thelargest known gun of this period was theRussian “King of Cannons” built in 1502.It had a caliber of 915mm, and fired al-ton missile down a 17-foot barrel.

Guns fired quarrels, balls of iron, brass,and stone (sometimes strengthened withiron hoops) and special treats like heat-ed shot (a wad of damp clay between thepowder and the ball prevented the gunfrom exploding) and hollow shot filledwith gunpowder that was intended toblow on impact. Cast iron balls replaced

stone (iron balls had more “punch”) butwere heavier, and had to be far smaller ifgunpowder was to hurl them with thesame force. Later. metal grew too ex-pensive, and stone balls were used inquantity again.

Charles of Spain, in 1550, made thefirst attempt to standardize gun calibers,to let balls for one gun be used in anoth-er. His artillery was of seven types. By1753 there were nine calibers of Englishguns, differing in size and weight de-pending on whether they were iron orbrass. Confusion of size and exact statis-tics is rampant, so the following tablesuse the sixteen English gun types of themid-1500s. If these seem too exhaustive,scale down the table as follows: hand-gun, ribald, cannon, culverin, and sakeras is, and the listings of bombard (every-thing larger than a Cannon), dolphin (ev-erything between culverin and saker),and serpentine (everything smaller thana saker). Listings follow in the Abbre-viated Table.

Names used in the table have beenapplied (and misapplied) to all sizes ofguns by writers of various times, andsome names (such as “curtail” and“sling”) belong to guns whose natureand caliber are unknown. Culverin is Lat-in for “snake”: guns were often namedfor reptiles of mythology — the fire-breathing dragon became “dragoon.”

D R A G O N 2 7

TABLE OF GUNSWeight of Range

Rate of Siege Attack: Pointsfire (1= Crew Cost of Average Average of Damage Against Defensive

Gun Calibername (”)

Handgun 1

projectile(in gp)

2 --

½Ribald 1 2

Rabinet 1Serpen- 1½tine

Falconet 2Falcon 2½Minion 3¼Saker 3½Bastard 4cuiverin

Demi- 4¼culverin

Basi l isk 4¾Culverin 5¼Pedrero 6Demi- 6½cannon

Bastard 6½cannon

Cannon 6¾serpentine

Cannon 7Cannon 8½royal

Bombard upto12

510

2030406070

45566

23444

11223

34567

90 200 2200 4-32 4-40 1/3 4-6 2300 3000 11'6" 7

120 300 2400 4-32 5-20 ¼ 4-7 2400 3280 11'8"180 300 2600 4-32 5-30 ¼ 4-9 2500 4000 12'240 280 2500 5-20 5-30 1/5 4-11 3000 4200 9'6"320 260 2300 5-20 5-40 1/5 5-13 3600 4500 11'

78

5666

350

380

400680

up to2000

(in game) Damage once per (min-weapon weight length Soft Hard pointvalue

12

7

7888

9

9

1011

12

Min. Max. S-M L round) (lbs.) (’/”) Wood Earth Stone Rock

1 50 2-6 2-6

1 50 2-6 2-6(x12) (x12)

20 200 1-10 1-1050 600 1-10 2-12

½

max.) (gp)

1-2 30 6

1/24*

½½

1-3 380

2-32-3

200400

80†

300420

1'+ 2'stock2’X4‘X3' high

3'4'

75 900 2-12 2-12 ½ 2-3 800 500 6'100 1000 2-16 2-16 ½ 2-3 1000 800 6'4"120 1200 3-24 3-30 1/3 2-4 1600 1200 6'6"150 1600 3-30 3-30 1/3 3-5 2000 1500 7'9"170 2000 4-32 4-32 1/3 3-6 2200 2600 9'0"

260 2200 5-30 5-40

260 1900 5-40 5-40

250 1700 5-40 5-50200 1200 5-50 5-50

100 500 6-48 6-60

1/6 5-13 4000 5000 10'11" 9

1/8 5-14 4250 5600 10'11" 9

1/10 5-15 4500 6000 10'9" 101/14 6-15 4900 8000 8'6" 12

4 shots 7-15 3000- 8000-per day 6000 10000

12'+

-- --

--

----

------½½

½

1111

1

2

23

4

-- --

-- --

½1

--½

5 3

3444

6 4

7 5

7 58 5

10 6

½

12

88

14

Abbreviated Table of GunsRate offire (1=

Damage once perS-M L round)2-6 2-6 ½

Crew Cost of Average AverageSiege Attack: Pointsof Damage Against Defensive

(min-weapon weight length Soft Hard pointmax.) (gp) (Ibs.) ( ’ /”) Wood Earth Stone Rock value

1-2 30 6 1’+2’ -- -- -- -- --stock

1-3 380 80† 2’x4’x -- -- -- -- ½3' high

2-4 1000 1000 5' 3 -- 2 1 3

Weight of Rangeprojectile (in game)

(in gp) Min. Max.2 1 50

Gun CalibernameHandgun

(”)1

Ribald 1 2 1 50 2-6 2-6 1/24*(x12) (x12)2-12 3-24 ½Serpen- 2½

tineSaker 3½Basilisk 4Cuiverin 5¼Dolphin 6Cannon 7Bombard 12

25 50 900

3-30 3-30 1/3 3-5 2000 1800 7'9" 6 ½ 4 2 63-30 4-32 1/3 3-7 2200 3000 10' 7 ½ 5 3 74-32 5-30 ¼ 4-9 2500 4000 12' 8 1 6 4 85-30 5-40 1/8 4-12 3500 5000 11' 9 6 4 95-40 5-50 1/10 5-15 4500 6000 10'9" 10

12 7 5 10

5-50 6-60 1/20 6-15 5000 8000 9' 12 3 9 6 12

60 150 1600120 200 2100180 300 2600320 270 2100400 250 1700

2000 100 500

* — Each barrel must be individually cleaned out, charged, tamped, loaded, primed, and lit (and the whole aimed). With 2 men, r ateof fire rises to 1/12, or once every 12 rounds. A third man raises it to once every 8 rounds. The rate cannot be further speede d up.

† — Includes cart.

28 APRIL 1982

HAND CANNONS

SERPENTINE MATCHLOCK

Firing gunsGunpowder is a perilous substance

and handling a medieval gun was oftenmore dangerous than facing one. Thereis a 10% chance (not cumulative) a gunexplodes when fired. (See AD&D mo-dule S3, Expedition to the Barrier Peaks;treat the explosion as a grenade blast,effective within 3”.) This chance is les-sened (-5%) if the gun crew is expe-rienced in handling the weapon in ques-tion, and lessened further (-1%) if thegun itself was successfully fired before.However, if the gun has been fired 25times without careful examination andmaintenance by a gunsmith, the chanceof explosion increases by 2% with eachadditional firing.

The DM should take careful note ofother factors — such as flaming arrowson a battlefield —that may affect prema-ture explosion. The most common causeof such an accident was overcharging agun; that is, using too much powder. TheDM should judge when the gunner — bymischance or upon instruction — hasused too much (a culverin requires 12Ibs. of gunpowder per shot, smaller ca-liber guns less, and larger caliber gunsmore).

Basically, operating a gun includesthe following steps: Unload the gun fromits carriage, emplace it — the gunner en-suring it is aimed — clean the barrel, mixthe gunpowder (this is generally done bythe master gunner while his crew posi-tions and emplaces the gun), load thecharge into the gun, wad it (to cap thecharge), tamp it (so the charge is packedtogether and will burn quickly and even-ly), load and ram the shot, light thecharge by slow match, touchhole, or

powder trail, and head for cover beforethe blast goes off.

After firing (assuming the gun andsome of the enemy and crew survive),the gun must be re-aimed, the barrelcleaned out, and the weapon reloaded.Cleaning out all those barrels is why theribald (see table) has a low fire rate. In-creasing the number of people in thecrew can as much as double the firingrate, but only so many men can workaround a gun before they start getting ineach other’s way.

Naval use of gunpowderDMs should not allow successful wa-

terborne use of guns, confining gun-powder to use in incendiary missileshurled by mechanical engines such ascatapults. Naval warfare can be fear-some enough with this and “Greek fire,”without using guns.

Men historically made fast work of theproblems of guns at sea, but the DM canmake the troubles insurmountable: Gunsare very heavy. They fall through dam-aged decks and hulls, and can cause aship to roll over and capsize if they as-sume unbalanced positions onboard.Their recoil (before the days of travelingcarriages) was absorbed entirely by thetimbers of the ship, and the distressingtendency of guns to explode destroyedmany vessels. Any vessel with a gun alsohas an extremely vulnerable area: thegunpowder magazine.

“Greek fire” was dreaded by ancientand medieval sailors, and with good rea-son; it burned on water and even dam-aged stone and iron. The exact formulais lost, but the terror weapon was liquid,could be blown from tubes or encased in

RIBALD

missiles, and could be extinguished onlyby sand, vinegar, or urine. It was proba-bly a mixture of naptha, quicklime, sul-phur, salt, petroleum and oils, and wasthe heir of incendiaries used by the an-cient Greeks and Armenians (mixturesof pitch, resin, and sulphur) and Romans(quicklime and sulphur that ignited oncontact with water).

Even if guns are not carried on ships,bear in mind that military men in theAD&D world will be quick to place themonshore to defend harbors and strategic-ally important channels.

Strategic importance of gunpowderEven when guns made more noise

than damage, they had a powerful effectupon the behavior of horses and a lessereffect on the morale of warriors. Despitethe expense and battlefield impracticali-ty of the guns, romantic, forward-looking— and desperate — rulers will be mostinterested in controlling the productionand use of guns (and gunnery).

In Piper’s Lord Kalvan of Otherwhen,the priests of Styphon built an empire ontheir control of gunpowder. Guns andthe knowledge of their construction wereof priceless strategic importance. Thesuccess of Lord Kalvan, and historicallyof John Zizka and of Gustavus Adol-phus, is due to putting their mastery ofthis knowledge to battlefield use.

A DM may also consider guns of im-mense strategic importance when a too-cocky player character takes his DragonSlayer sword in hand and rides out uponreports of a “a great snakelike monsterthat belches fire with much noise” ex-pecting another rich treasure and easily-earned level...

DR A G O N 29

30 APRIL 1982

T he head of the Cheetah seemed to smile mockingly at me.You’ve forgotten something, I could almost hear it say.I resisted the urge to answer back, But I always forget

something when I’m late. There are enough animate objects totalk to; talking to inanimate ones is a waste of time.

I glanced around the room. Nothing I could see should be onmy person. Nothing noteworthy at all to see, except the mi-crooster in the corner, perched on the nighttable, chanting,“You’re going to be late. Caw, caw, caw.”

I looked through the window at the darkening sky. If only Ihadn’t overslept...

To hell with it. I straightened the fur suit — if you don’t get thearms and legs straight, you’ll limp — and settled the cheetah-head firmly over my own, fastening the suit’s collar to the head.

Damn! I had forgotten to open the apartment door. I lungedfor it, barely able to turn the knob and swing it open as Ichanged.

The first thing I always feel is the heartbeat. A cheetah’s heartpumps along at almost twice the rate of a human’s; it takes me afew moments to get used to it, to feel that it’s normal, not like atriphammer going off in my chest.

Better. I used my front paws to kick the door shut.Colors faded into shades of gray, but it was no loss: My head

spun with the heady smells of autumn. A bit of ozone in the air,tanging my nostrils, the sour-sweet odor of leaves decaying inthe trees . . . and the wind from the path toward Stratfield carrieda whiff of bear. Bear?

I almost shrugged — not a good idea; a cheetah isn’t built forshrugging — and bounded down the path. It was on my way,anyway.

About half a mile down the path, I ran into a pack of cubscouts snuffling along, their massive den mother trying to keepthem in some semblance of order, failing as two spotted me andtottered over, unsteady on their hind legs.

I wanted to say something like, “Sorry, I don’t have time toplay,” but it just came out as a snarl. The nearer of the tworecoiled, then reached out a paw to bat at me.

And was interrupted by an eagle’s scream as the eagle scoutswooped between us, buffeting the cub with its wings, thenclimbing, reassuming its position overhead.

The den mother bounded over, either to gesture an apology,make sure I wasn’t going to hurt her charges, or both — well, Ireally didn’t have time to find out. If I didn’t get a move on, I wasgoing to be late.

I took a deep breath, and ran to the office.

Most of the time, I wear my Wolf to the office, whether I’mcoming in for a day or night shift. I know it’s not as fast as, say, aSpringbok or my Cheetah, but I like to leave my apartment earlyand take a nice, slow lope to the plant, drinking in the sights,sounds and smells of the woods that surround WearWolf’sStratfield plant-and-office complex. Sometimes, if I leave a bitearly, I even stop to grab a bite along the way — nothing largerthan a rabbit, of course; it could be someone’s child.

That Monday evening, though, I was too close to being late.I’d just been rotated to second shift at R&D Reception, and myinner clock hadn’t quite accepted the change.... Although mydamn alarm had.

To make things worse, I’d had to get up earlier that Monday,to straighten out some fool in R&D Chief Ambrosius’ office whohad me scheduled to work the following Friday night.

Which was ridiculous. Old Man Parker would’ve had a fit if hehad heard. “All power, magical and otherwise, comes from

being the person you are.” If he’s said that once, he’s said that athousand times.

After an hour of yelling, screaming, and hair-pulling (mine,not hers—and I can’t afford it), I’d gone home to get some sleepabout three in the afternoon. I woke up at six-thirty, having sleptthrough my microoster’s pleadings, and, as I said, threw on myCheetah, and sprinted for the plant.

At the main gate, the huge, red-bearded guard set hishammer down, stooped over, and pulled my throat closureapart, muttering the unfasten spell as he lifted the head off.

The chirping of a distant sparrow and the guard’s humanmusk faded away; the late autumn colors became pronouncedin the fading light. I straightened, quickly pulling off the tawnypelt.

“Good evening, Mr. Davidson,” the guard rumbled, handingthe head back to me. I tucked it under my arm, careful of theteeth. “Am I late?” I was still panting a little from the run over. Acheetah may be fast, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t tire youout if you push it too far, too fast.

“Nooo.” He glanced at the clock in the stone-and-glass cubi-cle behind him. “But close. You want I should hang the cat upfor you here?”

“Thanks, Einar— beware the teeth.” I tossed the head to himand followed it with the rest of the pelt, already running for theentrance.

The corridors in the R&D area were almost empty; only a fewcleaners and the odd researcher — often very odd — have towork second and third shift.

R&D Reception is a different case. Old Man Parker, whostarted WearWolf as a room behind his sorcerer’s shop, hasalways felt that it makes sense to keep the company open tofreelance designs — twenty-four hours a day, each and everyday.

Despite the hassles from the Sorcerers’ Guild and the Magi-cal Trade Commission —the MTC is full of Guild people—thatbit of stubbornness in running an open shop has paid off. Notall the skill, after all, is in the Guild; there are some very talentedamateurs out there. We got the MiniRoc from a walk-in, and Ihandled the Phoenix myself — do you realize how many firedepartments there are in the U.S. alone?

The job may have its drawbacks, but working for the largestmanufacturer of zooanthropic apparel does have its plusses.

And normally, either of the night shifts is a plus. Four nightsout of five, nobody brings anything in —gives me time to catchup on my reading, play a game or two of chess with one of theResearch poltergeists — and on the fifth night it’s usually aminor, and unprofitable, variation on some item we alreadycarry.

But every once in a while...

John Honistead was waiting at the R&D Reception office, hislong frame leaning against the door jamb.

“How nice of you to finally show up.”I looked at the wall clock. 7:02.“For two minutes you’re going to give me trouble?”He just smiled, fingering the silver cross on the chain around

his neck, and followed me into the office, sat down on the chairnext to the suit rack, and began to pull the legs of his WearWoIfover his shoes.

I sat behind the oaken desk and began shuffling through thestack of papers that he’d saved for me.

“You in a rush, Johnny?”

Fiction by Joel RosenbergDR A G O N 31

He growled, shook himself, and put all fourson the floor as the outfit came to life. His legsbecame the spindly ones of a wolf...

“Got a date tonight. New lady.”“Seen her in the flesh yet?”“Nothing but, actually. Soon as I get home and change, we’re

going gull-hunting over the Sound.” He smiled, then sighed. “Ibet she looks great in feathers.”

He had finally gotten the Wolf skin on, and lifted the headdown from the rack. “Oh, almost forgot — you’ve got an ap-pointment with a Mr. Tepesh. Eight-thirty or so. Said he wantsto come by, try to pitch you on a new outfit.”

“That’s why we have a night shift. Did he say what it was?”“Nope.” Honistead’s voice was muffled by the head. “Fasten

me up, will you?”I leaned over, hooked his collar together, and stood back.

While Johnny Honistead and I are old friends, it doesn’t pay tobe too close to someone who’s just ‘throped; it takes a fewseconds, sometimes, to remember that you’re really human.

He growled, shook himself, and put all fours on the floor asthe outfit came to life. His legs became the spindly ones of awolf, and the dull, glassy eyes in the head turned liquid andgleaming. Johnny wagged his tail and gave a cheerful barkgoodbye as he ran out through the anteroom, nails clickingagainst the floor in a rapid tattoo.

I went over to the coffee setup in the corner of the office andtook the stick of lignum vitae and my cup from their respectivepegs, pouring some water over the fleck of stone imbedded inthe stick’s tip, letting the hot, black brew run into the cup. Iadded creamer, and a bit too much sugar.

As I took a sip, I breathed a prayer of gratitude to Honisteadfor remembering to prime the Stone. Zooanthropic suits arenon-denominational, but Stones are a Christian artifact. I’dhave as much luck summoning a djinn or performing an exor-cism as I would priming a Philosopher’s Stone.

Back behind the desk, I put my feet up, stuck a cigarette in mymouth, and lit it with the hellflame in its gray stone box on thedesk, absentmindedly letting the flame rest harmlessly in mypalm. Religious magical specificity works both ways, after all. Ican’t prime a stone, but I hardly have to worry about the flamesof a Christian hell.

I shrugged, set the flame back in its container, and spent awhile going through some papers, checking requisitions, fillingout the calendar— in between puffs and sips. I like the tempo ofthe night shift — although there’s always some talk about clos-ing it down. That’s always quashed by the Old Man, when it getsthat far. All it takes is one successful, idiosyncratic amateurcoming in with a new outfit, to more than cover the cost ofmanning the desk for a century.

A while later, I put out my tenth cigarette and glanced at theclock: 8:30. That Tepesh person should be in shortly. I put myfeet back on the floor, just as the anteroom door squeakedopen.

There he stood, tall and graceful in an outfit that was moresuited for going to the opera than doing business. He strode upto the desk, a tall, pale man with coal-black hair, and blood-redlips in a fishbelly-white face.

“Oh, pooh.” I muttered to myself as I waved him to the seatbeside the desk, then spoke to him: “Don’t tell me. You want tosell us on a vampire deal, right?”

“Yesss.” His long canines made it impossible for him to pro-nounce sibilants without sounding like a teakettle. “I have re-cently discovered — ”

I interrupted him with a shake of my head, holding up onehand for silence as I lit a cigarette with the other. Not polite,maybe, but I don’t have a lot of patience for fools.

32 APRIL 1982

“It’s obvious what you’ve discovered.” I sighed. “I wish you’dtalked to someone before you went ahead. Getting yourselfcured is going to cost you quite a bit. You’ll probably have tospend the next couple of years as an ox’s hindquarter — con-servation of matter; you have heard of that? — paying off yourpriest’s bill.”

An angry gleam came into his pinpoint-pupiled eyes. “But—but thiss technique will be cheap. All I have to do izz bitesomeone and — ”

“Three bites, and they’re a vampire, too. Right?”He nodded. “Yessss.” He must have been getting upset; the

hissing was getting worse.“Now, look, you’ve made at least three mistakes, Tepesh.

First,” I held up a finger — a polite one — “once you bitesomeone three times, they‘re a vampire, right? Right. What’s tostop your customers from going around, selling their servicesuntil your whole potential market — and a small one; I’ll get tothat —fills up? Hell, in two, maybe three months, you won’t beable to give a bite away.”

He hissed at that. I should have noticed and backed off, but Ididn’t think. Too bad, as it turned out.

“Second,” I put up another finger, “who wants to become avampire these days? Granted, you have great physical strength,you ‘can take on a few more shapes than most people canafford. But you’re fragile — if you fall the wrong way on apointed stick, you can die. Or, if you don’t get enough whole-some Christian blood to drink. I wouldn’t want to insure youagainst hepatitis, either — the sort of wino you’re likely to feedoff is not a good bet. You can be killed with a dinner fork, forGod’s sake! And no matter how long you live, someday some-thing will catch up with you, and where does that put you? InHell, that’s where. Okay, if you reach a priest before somebodyruns a popsicle stick through your gizzard . . . ”

He rose and stood over me. His lips, redder than anything I’dever seen, were pulled back from ivory teeth. I added a thirdfinger to the other two and looked up at him while I kept talking.

“Lastly, we produce zooanthropic costumes here. Costumes.You put them on, you take them off—okay, so maybe with alittle help. On. Off. You see the difference?”

The hissing grew louder as he raised his cape behind him,clutching it tightly in his bony hands.

“So, you’ve come to the wrong place. Give it up. Or, if you’reeven dumber than you look, give a call to the folks over atTransmo, Ltd. They might be hard up enough to — errrrrp!”

I never saw him move. One moment he was towering over me,the next he had sunk two fangs in my neck. He sucked. It stung,terribly.

He swallowed, gulped, and then a look of indescribable terrorcame over his face. Tepesh — or whatever his real name was— collapsed to the floor, dead as a stone.

I looked down at my chest, following a thin trickle of blood,and saw nothing except my open shirt. And then I realized — itwasn’t my fault. He should have known.

Because The Father of Magic is fair. The protections He hasordained against vampirism are crosses, Hosts, to safeguardHis Christian children.

But Tepesh ‘should have known. If I’d needed that kind ofprotection, I would have been carrying a Host, wearing a cross,something. He should have known I didn’t need the Christianprotections against vampirism.

He should have known, even though the thing I had left at myapartment was my necklace, the one with the Star of David.

Schmuck...

by Mike Holthaus

Isn’t it a contradiction to mentionscience and fantasy in a single breath . . .or is it?

Even in a fantasy world, physical lawsgovern the universe. Most D&D® andAD&D™ campaigns I have been involvedwith have taken the known (real) worldand added magic to it. This one changemakes a D&D world radically differentfrom the “real” world, but the addition ofmagic does not cancel or change theother laws of the universe. I have seenDMs, on several occasions when playerspoint out inconsistencies in their ref-ereeing, say, “This is a fantasy. Anythingcan happen!” However, this line of rea-soning generally does little to soothe anangry player who has just lost his favor-ite character. In the same way, it is veryirritating for a DM to have to explain asimple physical law to a player who hasapparently forgotten that water runsdownhill — even in a fantasy world.

The following quiz will illustrate theneed to know a few of the laws of physicsand the need to be aware of a few of theconditions likely to be encountered in anunderground environment. I have work-ed as a mining engineer for eight yearsand been a player and DM for seven ofthose years. In that time I have discov-ered that many people are not familiarwith the principles expressed in thesequestions and answers. There is no scor-ing system for the quiz, since many ofthe answers go beyond a simple “yes” or“no” and can be expressed in manyways. The important thing is to realize atleast why your answers are basicallycorrect or incorrect. These questionsmay also inspire a few DMs with somenasty ideas to spring on unsuspectingplayers.

How much do youknow about sciencein a fantasy world?

Malrob the Maroon, a wandering wiz-ard, is attacked and seized by a verylarge roc. He is carried high into the airbefore he manages to wiggle free of theroc’s grasp. The DM informs Malrob,“Well, you’re out of the frying pan andinto the fire, because you are now 3,000feet in the air and dropping like a stone.”

Malrob replies, “No sweat. I have a flyspell for just such an emergency as this.”The DM and Malrob now launch into alengthy “discussion” about falling, ter-minal velocity and various other aspectsof physics and fluid mechanics.

1. Does Malrob throw his fly spell intime? If not, why not?

2. If so, what is the result of this?

A mixed party of players encountersan underground orc lair. The lair con-tains large amounts of combustible ma-terials such as old wooden tools andweapons, clothes, and jars of oil. After astrategy conference the players decideto throw several fireballs into the lair andset fire to as much of the stuff as possi-ble. In the ensuing confusion, they willcharge the orc king’s throne to kill himand his retainers. After the rest of theorcs scatter in panic and confusion, par-ty members may loot what is left at theirleisure.

3. What is wrong with this plan?

You are with a party of players explor-ing a dungeon. As you descend, you no-tice that your torches, which normallyburn with a reddish-orange color, nowhave a blue cap on their tips.

4. Should the characters ignore thisand press on, or should they consideranother course of action?

One player, after his character suf-

fered through several gas explosions,remembered hearing about canaries be-ing used by old-time miners to detectdangerous gases. The next expeditionsets forth with birds in hand, confidentthat they need not fear a gas explosion.

5. As the DM, should you curse theplayers for spoiling your fun, or shouldyou chuckle silently to yourself?

A party of adventurers is exploring adungeon deep beneath a lake. As theparty enters a chamber, a heavy steeldoor on the opposite wall starts to swingopen very slowly, and water is seenspurting out from the edges. Five of thesix members of the party are fighters, allwith 18 strength. Acting quickly, theyrush to hold the door and try to push itshut. The sixth member, a magic-user,urges them on but begins casting a waterbreathing spell, just in case. At this pointthe DM says, “You’re all as good as dead.There is no way you can hold that door,and water pressure will kill the magic-user at this depth of over 1,000 feet.”

6. What would you, as a player, say?

Ragnor, a burly fighter, can lift 450pounds. He spies a roughly sperical rockabout 2 feet across and decides to pick itup and move it.

7. Does Ragnor lift the rock, or does heget a hernia trying?

Almost everyone will carry at least 50feet of rope on an expedition.

8. How much does a half-inch-thickrope, 50 feet long, weigh?

9. How much weight will it take tobreak such a rope?

You are with a group of explorers deepin a cave and you come upon a pile ofrubble where the roof has caved in. Most

D R A G O N 3 3

of your party wants to turn back.10. Should you turn back, or should

you not be overly concerned, and why?

Again, your party is in a dungeon areawhere the roof above you looks ready tofall in on your heads. A dwarf in yourgroup asks for a boost up. He strikes theroof sharply with his war hammer andfeels it with his bare hand.

11. Does he know what he’s doing, oris he just another crazy dwarf?

You are leading an expedition deepinto a dungeon and come upon a verylarge room that has wooden posts hold-ing up what appears to be a very shakyroof. Following your dwarf’s advice, youpress on regardless. In the middle of theroom, the DM rolls some dice, chuckles,and informs you that the roof has cavedin suddenly, crushing the entire party.

12. As party leader, should you arguevehemently with the DM, or rap the dwarfplayer sharply about the head and shoul-ders for his foolish advice?

A horse carrying a character fleeingfrom a dragon gallops toward a chasm30 feet wide. Not hesitating for a second,the rider urges his mount to maintain fullspeed and prepares to jump.

13. Are his chances good, bad orindifferent?

Olias the thief comes upon a smallchest filled with neatly stacked goldcoins. The chest is 12” x 6” x 6”, andOlias can carry 200 pounds.

14. Can he carry the chest and all itscontents?

A party leaving a small room with onlyone entrance/exit triggers a trap thatdrops a door into place, trapping a char-acter on the other side. Having no tools,the rest of the party decides to return totown for a magic-user with a passwallspell. The room is a 10-foot cube, and theparty takes two days to return.

15. Will the trapped character be alive,or dead of suffocation, when they getback?

Olaf the Unbathed, taking a trip on asailing ship, watches an enormous whaleapproach until it is about 120 yardsaway. Figuring he can’t miss a target ofsuch great size, Olaf pulls out his trustyspear and lets fly.

16. What are his chances of hitting thewhale at that distance?

Olaf’s ship later sinks, and he is forcedto shed his armor and tread water. TheDM tells Olaf he will roll dice every 6hours to see if a ship passes.

17. How many chances should Olafget before he can tread no more?

Answers on page 71

34 APRIL 1982

Richland College is an equal opportunity institution

Welcome to the premiere issue ofGAMING MAGAZINE, a publication des-tined to set new standards of standardi-zation in the hobby of gaming.

GAMING MAGAZINE is the first ge-neric gaming magazine. You know allthose white boxes and cartons in thegrocery store, with big black letteringlike “PEANUT BUTTER,” “FACIAL TIS-SUE,” and “CORN FLAKES”? What youget inside is the same stuff other com-panies sell in fancy containers with a lit-tle bit of fancy flavoring and some weirdchemicals. That way they can make youthink you’re getting something specialfor your money, and they can chargeridiculous prices.

What you get inside GAMING MAGA-ZINE is basically the same stuff the othergame publications contain, but withoutall the frills. Here are just a few of thethings you won’t find on the pages ofGAMING MAGAZINE:

Table of contents. Who needs it? Allyou gotta do is look through the maga-zine and you’ll see everything that’s in it.Why do you think your deity gave youeyes, anyway?

Page numbers. Who needs ’em? If youreally want to know where page 26 is,just start counting. You can count, can’tyou?

Big headlines and titles. What’s thesense of using titles so big you can read‘em from across the room? Do you knowanybody who reads a magazine fromacross the room?

Artwork. The frilliest frill of all. Maga-zines are supposed to be for reading.You can’t read a piece of artwork. Enoughsaid.

Advertising. Another waste of space.We don’t care about all those brandnames, fancy packages, and lofty claims,and neither should you. We admit ourproduct is nothing fancy, nothing spe-cial, and we will only accept advertisingfrom companies that feel the same wayabout their products.

You won’t find any specialized articlesinside GAMING MAGAZINE. Never againwill you see fit to complain to the editorbecause he printed an article on a gameyou don’t know anything about. Everyarticle in GAMING MAGAZINE is spe-

cially tailored to fit our entire audience,because every article can be used withany and all games on the market today.In upcoming issues you’ll be treated toextensive examinations of such all-en-compassing subjects as “What to wearfor a night of gaming,” “How much sleepto get the night before the Big Game,”and “What to do if you can’t make upyour mind which game to play.”

You won’t find any strongly wordedopinion pieces in GAMING MAGAZINE.It’s a proven fact that nobody cares asmuch about a person’s opinion as thatperson. This magazine will not cater toknow-it-alls and egomaniacs. If we everpublish an opinion article, it will be onethat carefully examines both sides of anunimportant issue and comes to no con-clusion whatsoever.

Generic products were conceived outof an appreciation for the plight of theconsumer, a respect for the individual.We’ve made that outlook a part of ourphilosophy of magazine production. Wefeel that nothing should stand in the wayof direct communication between au-thors and readers, so we don’t edit any-thing we publish. If a writer wants tomisspell every word longer than five let-ters and do his entire article in three-word sentences, why not? What’s impor-tant is whether the reader understandsthe writer —and how can you not under-stand a three-word sentence? The onlyplace in GAMING MAGAZINE whereyou’ll find big words and long sentencesis in this column, which you probablyaren’t reading anyway.

We don’t waste any space on transi-tions from one topic to another. If wewant to run our generic gossip columnright on the tail end of our generic edi-tor’s column, we’ll do it. Just like this.

Rumor has it that a certain manufac-turer is feverishly developing a new setof rules for a topic that has already beenused in at least 20 other games. There’s abig push on to get it finished in time forsome big convention or whatever whereat least three other companies will re-lease virtually identical products.

Hot question: Which two employees ofcompeting game companies spent threedays in adjoining booths at a convention

and didn’t say one word to each other?According to an extremely noncom-

mittal source, someone who works as adesigner for a large or small game com-pany considers him or herself to be anunappreciated genius who isn’t under-stood by the people who run the com-pany. This person has actually thoughtabout threatening to quit. Who could itbe??

This one may be hard to believe, but agame company is actually planning tofile a lawsuit against another game com-pany because of something or other. No,we aren’t making that up.

Gaming is a great way to develop newrelationships. In fact, we just found outthat you know who is now so seriousabout you know who, and vice versa, thatthey’ll only play you know what witheach other from now on — and theypromise. Remember, you read it herefirst.

This last rumor wasn’t told to us direct-ly, so we can’t vouch for its accuracy, butit’s too good to pass up. It seems thatsomebody has the idea that what theworld needs is still another magazineabout games, and they’re very close topublishing the first issue. Gossip col-umns aren’t supposed to contain opin-ions, of course, but this is one bit of in-formation we just have to comment on.We don’t have to even lay eyes on thisupstart magazine to see it for what it is: ablatant, shameless attempt to horn in onthe gaming market with yet another sub-standard, unimaginative product for peo-ple to throw their money away on. Can’tanybody come up with anything originalany more?

Gosh, it looks like we’re just about outof space for this issue. But there’s enoughroom left for us to give you a look at whatyou’ve got to look forward to. Upcomingissues of GAMING MAGAZINE will in-clude articles like these:

My favorite games, by The EditorMy favorite small games, by The EditorMy favorite big games, by The EditorHow to winHow to avoid losingThe science of selecting junk foodNew variant: Gaming without lightsHow to end an article gracefully

A fun gamefor two humans

© 1982 Dragon Publishing. All rights reserved.

FLIGHT OF THE BOODLES is a game for one or two playersthat recreates the Boodles’ dramatic journey through theGrumjug-infested passes of the Snagrock Mountains.

In a two-player game, one person selects a Boodle force andcommands it from the valley on one side of the gameboard,through the mountains to the valley on the other side of theboard. The other player selects and commands Grumjugs,which attempt to destroy the Boodles before they reach theirpromised land where the Paxberry tree blooms forever.

Rules for solo play are also provided.Detach the heavy stock sheet from the rest of this issue of

DRAGON™ Magazine. Separate the game board from the coun-ter sheet and cut out the counters; keep the red Boodle coun-ters separate from the green Grumjug counters. If you wish toplay a solo game, turn to the section marked, “Rules for soloplay.” Two six-sided dice are needed to play either version.

Order of playAssign sides

Roll for Boodle starting valleySelect forces

Grumjug player deploys forceBoodle player deploys force

Boodle turn:Move Boodlepieces

Boodlefighters attackBoodlewiz casts spell

Grumjug turn:Grumjug reinforcements arrive

Move Grumjug piecesGrumjugs attack

Two-player rules move towards the valley by the redSet-up BOODLES logo; on rolls of 4,5, or 6 the

Decide who plays the Boodles. (The Boodles begin the game from the redother player plays the Grumjugs.) The valley and move toward the green valley.Boodle player rolls one six-sided die to Valleys are located on either end of thedetermine where the Boodle force be- board in the two rows of squares coloredgins the game: Boodles start from the green. Other terrain — mountains, moun-valley by the green FLIGHT OF THE tain passes, and the Grumking fortressBOODLES logo on rolls of 1, 2, or 3 and — is represented by different colors.

Valleys

Mountain passes

Mountains

Grumking fortress

Force selectionBoth players select their forces in se-

cret. The “cost” of different types ofcounters varies. Players choose any com-bination of counters for their force theywish. However, the total “cost” of thecounters must not exceed the limits al-lowed for the scenario they play. Begin-ning players are advised to play Scena-rio 1. Cost factors for counters are listedin Tables 1 and 2, along with a summaryof the characteristics described below.

Scenario Cost LimitsScenario Boodle GrumjugNumber Limit Limit

1 35 362 47 483 59 604 71 72

Note: Besides cost limits, players can-not attempt to construct a force requir-ing more of a different type of piece orpieces than provided with this game.

Type costBoodles 1Boodle Fighters(Boodlinos) 4Bloodleblasters(Bombastaboodle) 4Boodle-wizard(Hoakboodle) 6Boodle Queen(Boodlettah) 0

GrumjugGrumbuggy(Grumjig)Grumbomb(Grumwomp)Grumking(Hah-Grumjug)

Table 1Boodle Counters

NumberIncluded Movement Hits On

16 1d6

10 1d6

7 carried

6 1d6

2 1d6

Table 2Grumjug counters

3

3

3

0

20 1-4

10 1-4 -- --

12 carried automatic --

2 0

VictoryPoints

-- 1

1-3 1

automatic 0

1-3 1

-- 4

1-3, 1-5 n/a

-- --

38 APRIL 1982

initial counter placementAfter both players select forces, the

Grumjug player places the beginningGrumjug force on the board. Grumjugpieces may only be put in mountainpasses (color squares) and in the For-tress of the Grumking. Grumbombs seton the board may be either activated orunactivated, at the Grumjug player’sdiscretion

After Grumjug pieces are located, theBoodleplayer places the Boodlepiecesin the starting valley. Up to three piecesmay be placed on any given square at thestart of, or during play.

Counter descriptionsDifferent types of pieces move according

to different restrictions, as describedbelow. Several basic movement rulesapply to all pieces, however.

— Movement always is optional: Notall pieces must be moved during themovement phase of a round, and piecesmay move up to their maximum move-ment allowance.

— Movement allowances cannot betransferred from one round to another,or from one piece to another.

— Pieces can move from the squarethey occupy to any adjacent square, ho-rizontally, vertically, or diagonally, ex-cept where prohibited.

—Pieces cannot move onto or throughsquares occupied by a “living” foe. OnlyBoodles, Boodlefighters, Boodlewizzes,

BOODLESThere are four different types of Boodlebeings (BoodIes,

Boodle fighters, Boodle magicians, and the Boodle queen), andone piece of Boodle equipment (the Boodle Blaster).

The movement rate for Boodlebeings varies with each turn.The Boodle player. determines the movement rate-for all Boo-dles at the beginning of the Boodles’ turn by rolling two six-sided dice. The higher of the two results is the maximumnumber of squares any and all living Boodles may move duringthe movement phase of that turn.

Individual characteristics of the Boodle pieces are:

—Boodles can only move — they donot participate in combat (except as vic-tims) or cast spells. The Boodle playerreceives one victory point for each Boo-dle that reaches the finishing valley.

—Only Boodle fighters can initiatecombat. Boodle fighters destroy adja-cent Grumjugs on a roll of 1, 2, or 3. Eachfighter that reaches the finishing valley isworth one victory point.

—Only Boodle wizards have magicpowers to cast spells. Each Boodlewizmay attempt to cast a Grumjigjam spellduring the spell phase of each Boodleplayer’s turn by rolling a six-sided die.On a roll of 1, 2, 3, or 4, the spell works.

This has two effects. First, any Grumbuggies within threesquares (mountains included) of the Boodlewiz cannot moveduring the upcoming Grumjug turn. Secondly, any Grumbug-gies moving to within three squares of the Boodlewiz are im-mediately frozen and cannot move for the rest of the turn. Note:The spell lasts only during the movement phase and affectsonly Grumbuggies, not individual Grumjugs. Grumjugs maystill move and attack normally, and Grumjugs located with animmobilized Grumbuggy may still attack if adjacent to a Boodlepiece. A Boodlewiz earns one victory point for reaching theBoodles’ finishing valley.

the Boodlequeen, and Grumjugs areconsidered “living.”

— No pieces may move into the Sna-grock Mountains. Boodle pieces, how-ever, may be blasted over mountains bya Boodleblaster, as described below.

— Boodle pieces may move into andout of their starting valley during thegame. Grumjugs may move into and outof the Fortress of the Grumking. Howev-er, Grumjug pieces may not move intoeither Boodle valley, and Boodle piecesmay not move into or through theGrumking fortress.

— Only three pieces from one sidemay occupy the same square at the endof the movement phase of a player’s turn.

—Boodleblasters are not living beings.Rather, they are things, transporters thatlook much like large iron mortars. Unlikemortars, Boodleblasters safely shootBoodles, Boodle fighters, Boodlewizzes,and the Boodle Queen about the gameboard.

Each Boodleblaster may blast one or two Boodlepieces up to3 squares in the movement phase of the Boodle player’s turn.The blasted Boodlepieces may travel over mountains and oversquares occupied by Grumjugs, Grumbombs, and Grumbug-gies. They cannot land on squares containing opposing pieces.

The Boodle player picks the squares the blasted pieces willland on. Any two Boodlepieces, including “unset” Boodle-blasters (see below), may be blasted simultaneously to differ-ent squares by the same blast.

A Boodlewiz magically enchanted Boodleblasters, so theyare lightweight and easily carried by Boodlebeings. Boodle-blasters may be picked up and transported about the board byany Boodlebeing, until the Boodleplayer wants to use thepiece. Then, the Boodleblaster must be “set.” The magic spellwears off once a Boodleblaster is set; this causes the Boodle-blaster to once again become so incredibly heavy that it cannotbe moved for the rest of the game.

Boodleblasting is done during the movement phase of theBoodleplayer’s turn, and costs no movement points. Any Boo-dlebeing occupying the same square as a Boodleblaster mayset the device at any time during the Boodlebeing’s movementphase. However, a Boodlebeing may only be blasted at thebeginning or the end of its movement phase; the Boodlebeing’smovement allowance cannot be split so that part is used beforeand part used after the blasting. (See “Answers to many of yourfrequently asked questions about ‘Flight of the Boodles.“‘)

Boodlepieces may move into, or remain in, a square occu-pied by a Boodleblaster without being blasted. Grumjugs alsomay move into a square occupied only by a Boodleblaster. ButGrumjugs cannot destroy, carry or be blasted by aBoodleblaster.

—The Boodle Queen also may onlymove. The queen, however, is worth 4victory points if she is successful inreaching the new valley. (Note: Twoqueens are provided, but only one isused during play. The other is a spare.)

D R A G O N 3 9

GRUMJUGSThe four types of Grumjug counters are Grumjugs, Grum-

buggies, Grumbombs and the Grumking. Only Grumjugs andGrumkings are living pieces, and only the Grumjug is involvedin the game — the Grumking is included only for color andstays in the Fortress of the Grumking for the entire game.

Grumjugs can both move and attack todefend the mountain passes from theBoodle horde. Grumjugs may attack anyadjacent Boodlebeing. (See rules forcombat below.)

Grumjugs may move one square dur-ing the movement phase of the Grumjug player’s turn. Thismovement allowance increases to up to four squares per turn ifthe Grumjug is driving a Grumbuggy.

second Grumjug.

Grumbuggies are Grumjug vehicles.They do not attack, nor may they be at-tacked., or driven, by Boodlepieces. OnlyGrumjugs may drive Grumbuggies, al-though a Grumbuggy driven by a Grum-jug may also carry a Grumbomb or a

Grumjugs take possession of Grumbuggies by moving ontothe square occupied by the Grumbuggy. Moving onto a squareoccupied by a Grumbuggy uses a Grumjug’s entire movementallowance for a turn. However, once the Grumjug moves ontothe Grumbuggy it may drive the Grumbuggy up to four addi-tional squares that turn, and each subsequent turn the Grumjugremains on the Grumbuggy. Grumbuggies carrying more thanone Grumjug, or a Grumjug and a Grumbomb (Grumbuggiescannot carry other Grumbuggies) may stop to discharge oneGrumjug or the Grumbomb during the course of movement,and then continue on. Grumjugs dropped off in this mannermay move up to one additional square, if they have not alreadymoved alone during the turn. (For more variations of this rule,see “Answers to many of your most frequently asked questionsabout ‘Flight of the Boodles.’”)

Grumbombs are death traps. Every-thing — Boodlepieces and Grumpieces— moving into a square occupied by anactivated Grumbomb is destroyed.

Each Grumjug may carry one Grum-bomb at a time. Grumbombs that are notactivated may be picked up and carried and later discharged atwill. But once set, Grumbombs cannot be moved, and remainactivated for the rest of the game.

Grumbombs must be set in the movement phase of the Grum-jug player’s turn by a Grumjug occupying the same square asthe Grumbomb. Setting a Grumbomb uses none of the Grum-jug’s movement allowance, but the Grumjug setting the Grum-bomb must immediately move out of the square or be des-troyed: A Grumjug that is not riding a Grumbuggy will bedestroyed if it moves onto a square occupied by a Grumbomband activates it during the same turn.

Grumjugs on Grumbuggies may split their increased move-ment allowance around the acts of picking up, carrying anddischarging Grumbombs: A Grumjug could move onto asquare occupied by a Grumbuggy (using its solo movementallowance), drive the Grumbuggy onto a square occupied by anunactivated Grumbomb, pick up the Grumbomb, take it on theGrumbuggy to another square, discharge and activate theGrumbomb, and drive away.

Only Grumjugs can carry or activate a Grumbomb. TheGrumjug player cannot set Grumbombs so that no clear (un-blocked by Grumbombs) path exists between the two valleys.However, the clear path may be very convoluted, and may be“blocked” by Grumjugs, Grumbuggies, and unset Grumbombs.

At the beginning of each Grumjug player’s turn, the Grumjugforce receives one additional piece as a reinforcement. TheGrumjug player chooses from among the unused Grumjugcounters, starting the reinforcement in the Fortress of theGrumking. The reinforcement may be moved that turn, duringthe Grumjug movement phase.

The Grumjug player receives no reinforcements if more thanthree pieces (excluding the Grumking) are in the Fortress at thebeginning of the turn.

Boodles receive no reinforcements during the game.

Combat first, before attacking Boodles, Boodle-Pieces moved by one player can attack

move the attacker from play, even if thewizzes, or the Boodle Queen.

only during the combat phase of thatinitial attack succeeded. (In that event,

The attacker rolls one six-sided dieplayer’s turn. All attacks are individual:

both pieces are removed from play.)

One single piece attacks a single oppos-and consults the Combat Table (below) A successful attacker that survivesto determine the outcome of the attack.

ing piece, although more than one piececounterattacks may continue to attack

could attack a given opponent during Combat Table other adjacent pieces until it is unsuc-

the same round if the prior attacks are Attacker Defender Hits oncessful or destroyed by a counterattack.

Boodlefighter Grumjug 1, 2, 3An attacker that misses can make no

unsuccessful.Combat is optional, and a piece must Grumjug Boodlefighter 1, 2, 3

more attacks during that round.

be adjacent to an opponent to initiate an Grumjug Boodle, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5Attacks cannot be made against pieces

attack. The attacking player chooses the Boodlewiz,in the opponent’s “home” territory: Grum-

order of opponents to attack during a Boodle Queenjugs cannot attack Boodlebeings in the

round, with one exception: When astarting valley; Boodle fighters cannot

Successful attacks destroy and removeGrumjug is adjacent to a square where

attack Grumjugs in the Fortress of thethe defender from play. However, all de-

Boodlebeings are “stacked” — whereGrumking. However, Grumjugs in the

fenders receive a simultaneous counter-the square is occupied by more than one

Fortress may attack Boodlebeings andattack, using the above table, except for

Boodlebeing —. the attacker must attackBoodle fighters in the starting valley may

Boodles, Boodlewizzes and the Boodle-any and all Boodle fighters in the stack

attack Grumjugs; in these instances, theQueen. Successful counterattacks re- defending piece gets a counterattack.

HOW to tell when the game is over Boodlewiz — 1The Boodleplayer receives victory

Boodleplayer in a position where noBoodle Queen — 4

points for each piece moved into the fin-Boodlebeings can move without being

ishing valley, as follows:The Boodleplayer wins by amassing destroyed. If all Boodle pieces remain-

four victory points.Boodle — 1

ing on the board are not moved out of theThe Grumjug player wins by destroy-

Boodle fighter — 1 ing all Boodlebeings or by placing thestarting valley for three consecutive turns,the Boodleplayer forfeits.

40 APRIL 1982

Rules for solo playIn the one-person version of Flight of the Boodles, the size of

the Boodle force is smaller and Grumjug actions are controlledby random chance. Combat, character capabilities and playingsequence remain the same. Rule modifications are describedbelow.

SELECTING THE GRUMJUG FORCE:The Grumjug force begins the game Second Roll

with at least seven pieces. For each of (read across) 1 o r 2 3 o r 4 5 o r 6those seven pieces, the Grumjugplayer Third Rollrolls a six-sided die three times to deter- (read down)mine the type of piece and its initial loca-tion on the game board. The first roll 1 1indicates the type of piece: Rolls of 1

7 132 2 8 14

through 4 produce a Grumjug; rolls of 5 3 3 9 15or 6 produce a Grumbomb. The second 4 4 10 16and third rolls are cross-indexed on the 5 5 11 17chart below to locate the new piece on 6 6 12 18one of the 18 numbered squares on thegameboard.

A Grumbuggy can be placed on anysquare where a Grumjug starts the game.If a Grumjug and a Grumbuggy alreadyoccupy a square and that square is againrolled as the starting square for a Grum-jug, the second Grumjug may be placedon the Grumbuggy, too. If a square isalready occupied by three pieces, makethe second and third rolls again until an

eligible square (one occupied by none,one or two pieces) is rolled.

Grumbombs are presumed to be setwhen placed on the board, unless aGrumjug also occupies the square. TheGrumbomb becomes activated at thestart of the next Boodle turn — if a Grum-jug remains on the square after activa-tion, it is destroyed.

SELECTING AND PLACING THE BOODLESSelect one of these two Boodle forces:— One Boodlewiz and one Boodle-

blaster; or—Two Boodlefighters and one Boodle-

blaster.Locate the Boodle force anywhere in

the starting valley (which is selected asin the two-player game).

PLAYING THE GAMEBoodle movement is determined at the Place reinforcements on the board

beginning of each turn. Roll two dice; the with the two-roll table used to place thehigher of the two results is the Boodlebe- inital Grumjug force. Replacement Grum-ings’ movement rate for that turn. jugs may be started on a Grumbuggy if a

The rest of the Boodle sequence re- Grumbuggy is not already on the square.mains as in the two-player game. Grumjugs move automatically toward

Grumjugs receive one replacement at the nearest Boodlepiece. If a Grumjug isthe, beginning of each Grumjug turn. the same number of squares away fromRoll a die to determine the type of Grum- two Boodles, roll to determine whichjug replacment: Boodle the Grumjug moves toward.

1, 2, or 3 = Grumjug; 4, 5, or 6 = Combat is conducted as in the two-Grumbomb. player game.

HOW TO TELL WHEN THE GAME IS OVERThe Boodles win if any Boodlepiece

reaches the finishing valley.The Grumjugs win by destroying all

Boodles on the board.

DR A G O N 41

Answers tofrequently asked

What Is a Boodle?A Boodle is a piece in this game that

resembles a pawn in chess. It can’t domuch, isn’t worth a lot, and usually getswiped out so the Queen can survive.

No, what are Boodles?Boodles are a race of beings.

Wait a second. I’m confused. You’vegot Boodle and Boodles, Boodlethis andBoodle-that. What’s the difference?

Hmmmm. This may not be easy. Boo-&S can be both generic and specific. ABoodle, for example, is a pawn-Iike piecein the game Flight of the Boodles, andany piece in the Boodle force can also betermed a Boodle.

That’s still confusing.You should have seen the original ver-

sion of the game, done by C. C. Stoll, ifyou want to see confusing. He called theBoodle fighters Boodlinos, and had awhole lot of other names for the Boodleand Grumjug pieces. We got confused,so we changed some of the names of thepieces to reflect their functions.

Actually, C. C.‘s original names aren’tthat confusing, once you learn the game.So, we’ve included a special TranslationTable. You can use the original namesonce you learn the game, and nobodywill be able to figure out what you’re talk-ing about, unless they buy this magazine(which we’d be happy to sell them).

42 APRIL 1982

Why are they fleeing?According to C. C. StoII, “The advance

of the foul Rotsnort Plague continuedwestward, and decay and snorting con-sumed all creatures in its path.” TheBoodles were in the path of this stuff, sothe Boodle Queen, the Boodlettah, calleda big meeting, and the Boodles decidedto leave their homeland.

The Boodles traveled across the de-sert wastes, splitting into three groups,C. C. says, hoping to improve theirchances of finding an lasting supply ofPaxberry Trees.

What’s a Paxberry Tree?It’s the only thing you eat if you’re a

Boodle.

What happened to the other two groupsof Boodles?

They seem to have vanished myste-riously, although we’re thinking of pres-enting their story in sequel games, “Plightof the Boodles” and “Might of the Boo-dles.” The third group, the one led by theBoodle Queen herself, was forced south-ward by a blinding sandstorm. As C. C.puts it: “These Boodles at last came tothe central passes of the Snagrock Moun-tains . . . the realm of the dread Hah-Grumjug and his malodorous minions...”

Hey, this is the April Fool’s issue — Isthis a joke?

Nope.

FLIGHTOF THE

Yeah, but these counters look kindaflimsy. Is this just another ruse to get usto buy more magazines?

We’d never think of doing such a thing.

And this game board — what are thenumbers for? They aren’t mentioned atail in the rules.

You didn’t read far enough. Thenumbers are for use in the solo version ofthe game. Unless you’re playing by your-self, don’t worry about it.

How come the board has two valleys?The Boodles start the game in one val-

ley and try to reach the other.

Does it make any difference where theDoodles start?

The Boodles can start in either valley.The possible paths to the other side aredifferent, depending on which valley theBoodles start from.

How do we determine who plays Boo-dles and who plays Grumjugs?Take the extra Grumking counter and

flip it. If it lands face up, you’ll have todecide among yourselves. If it lands facedown, flip it again.

Can more than one Boodleblasterblast during a turn?

Yes. And, the same Boodleblaster canbe used more than once during a turn.

many of yourquestions about

BOODLESAnd, a Boodlebeing can be blasted bymore than one Boodleblaster during aturn. Think about that for a while.

Hmmmm. Can Boodleblasters ever bedestroyed?

Nothing lasts forever. (If this copy ofthe game doesn’t, just send us $4.50 andwe’ll send you another one.) But equip-ment in Flight of the Boodles usuallywon’t be eliminated. The only way equip-ment can be taken out is if it is deliberate-ly moved into a square occupied by a setGrumbomb. You can do that if you like.But remember, this game isn’t called“Flight of the Lemmings.”

A Grumjug driving a Grumbuggy cansplit its movement around the setting ordischarge of a Grumbomb or anotherGrumjug. But a Boodlebeing cannotsplit movement before and after beingblasted by a Boodleblaster. Isn’t thisunfair?

Being blasted is by definition a trau-matic experience. Talk to anyone who’sblasted.

Why can’t the Boodle player leave theBoodlepieces in the starting valley formore than three consecutive turns?

Let C. C. answer that one: “It is con-ceiveable that some low-grade Boodleplayer, seeing that victory was impossi-ble, would race his troops back to the

start valley and leave them there, claim-ing a draw.”

Low-grade player? There are high-grade players?

You betcha. “Flight of the Boodles”may appear to be a simple game, butthere are many possible strategies andcombinations of outcomes.

The Boodles don’t have much of achance, do they?

That’s what Pharaoh thought aboutMoses, eh? Until the Red Sea, that is.Remember, Boodles have the Boodle-blaster, which can send them overmountains — and Grumbombs — tothwart the best-laid Grumjug plans.

The Grumjigjam spell can also throw amonkey wrench into the evil desires ofthe GrumKing. And, Boodlefighters canprotect the other pieces and breakthrough a Grumjug defense in the finalpush to the finishing valley.

In case you’re still wondering aboutstrategy, here are some tips:

— Good luck winning if the BoodleQueen is destroyed.

— Advancing in one big force canwork, but deploying your troops can alsobe effective. A single Boodle can forcethe Grumjug player to decide whether tocommit forces to go after it.

— Watch out for the Fortress of theGrumKing.

Hey, what about me? How ‘bout sometips for the Grumjugs?

Get a lot of Grumbombs and set themso the Boodlepieces must advancethrough one of the passes.

What if the Boodleplayer has a lot ofBoodleblasters — couldn’t the Boodlesjust blast over the Grumbombs andspeed off to victory?

You said it, not me.

Well, what else can I do?

Try holding your forces back, so they’reoutside the range of Boodleblasters andBoodlewiz’s Grumjigjam spells. Or, youcould:

— Keep the Boodles under pressure,forcing them to set and commit theirBoodleblasters early or use Grumjigjamspells The latter don’t work one-third ofthe time, which are good enough oddsfor horse racing.

—Try a early push to capture the Boo-dle Queen or a Boodlewiz. Sometimesthe best defense is a good offense.

— Don’t rely too much on reinforce-ments, unless you can seal off the side ofthe board away from the Fortress of theGrumking.

DRAGON 43

EXAMPLE 1

EXAMPLE 2

EXAMPLE 3

Examples of playEXAMPLE 1

Bravery is indeed needed to play the Boodle side. In thisexample, a lone Boodle attempts to make a daring dash past theFortress of the Grumking, where reinforcements have blockedall means of escape — save one. The Boodle’s route is blockedby Grumbombs (A, B, C), and by Grumjugs (D, E, F). TheBoodle must make it to the Boodleblaster three squares awayon its next turn, or face certain death: A 1 or a 2 will leave itwithin range of the hungry Grumjugs!.

The Boodle player rolls for movement at the beginning of theBoodle turn, and rolls a 4! The Boodle moves to the Boodleblas-ter, and blasts over the mountains to safety.

EXAMPLE 2A Grumjug carrying an unset Grumbomb (A) is hot on the

trail of a small fleeing Boodle party containing a Boodle and aBoodle fighter (B). The Grumjug takes the Grumbomb onesquare to a waiting Grumbuggy (C), moves three squares,where the bomb is set and dropped off (D). The Grumjug usesthe final part of its movement to move one more square (E). TheBoodle party is safe for the time being, since the Grumjug is stillout of range.

The Boodles cannot escape through the pass (F) that isblocked by a Grumbomb already set, so they hope to reach theBoodleblaster (G). But, at the beginning of the Boodle turn, theBoodle player rolls only a 2, not enough to reach the blaster.The Boodle player declines to move towards the Grumjug andinitiate combat. The Grumjug player has no such reservations,and engages the Boodles, taking the fighter first with a roll of 1,but failing to destroy the Boodle, by rolling a 6. The Boodle thenescapes on its next turn by using the blaster.

EXAMPLE 3A Boodle force consisting of the Boodle Queen, a Boodle

fighter and a Boodle wizard (A), along with a solo Boodle (B), istrapped between two mountain ranges. The Boodles cannotmove over the set Grumbomb (C) and elect not to engage theGrumjug (D), because this would endanger the Queen. TheBoodle player rolls a 2 at the beginning of the turn, enough forthe Queen, wizard and fighter to reach the blaster. However, ifthe Queen, wizard and fighter blast over the mountains, thesolo Boodle will be left defenseless. The Queen and fightermove onto the blaster and blast to safety, but the wizard staysbehind to cast a spell. A 4 is rolled and the spell works, freezingthe Grumbuggy the Grumjug is riding. The Grumjug stillmoves, but only one square, not enough to be able to engageeither the Boodle or the Boodle wizard.

CREDITSDesign: Chuck StollDevelopment: Bryce Knorr, Roger RauppEditing: Kim MohanMap and graphics: DarlenePlaytesting: Roger Raupp, Gali Sanchez,Mohan, Bill Boodle, George GrumjugInspiration: Wendy Vincent

Bryce Knorr, Kim

44 APRIL 1982

The JesterA comical,clever,charismaticnew NPC

by Roger Moore

Jesters are adventurous non-playercharacters with an overwhelming senseof the absurd. They roam from place toplace, telling tales, pulling practicaljokes, insulting the most fearsome ofmonsters and characters, and generallymaking nuisances of themselves. Be-cause of their outlook on the world andtheir special powers, they may prove po-tentially useful (or annoying) to adven-turing parties.

Any human or demi-human race mayhave jesters, but only humans, half-elves,and gnomes. have unlimited advance-ment in the class. Halflings may go to12th level before their jokes get boring,and elves may go to 10th level beforetheir jokes get too exotic. Dwarves arenot very humorously inclined and mayonly reach the 6th level. Since half-orcsand their kin all think things like thumb-screws and iron maidens are marvelous-ly comic (feelings not shared by manyother people), they may only attain the4th level of experience. Half-elves canadvance without limit because they areable to draw from human and elvencomedy and thus have a richer sense ofhumor. Gnomes are more adventurouson the whole than halflings are, and aremore mischievous as well; thus, they canprogress further than the latter.

A jester must be either neutral good,chaotic good, true neutral, or chaoticneutral. The intelligence and wisdomscores of a jester must each be at least12, charisma must be at least 13, anddexterity must be 9 or better. Jesterswith intelligence, wisdom, and dexterity

scores all of 16 or higher gain a 10%bonus to earned experience points. Cha-risma, in the case of a jester, refers pri-marily to his/her skill in drawing attentionand not to physical appearance, whichmay vary widely. Jesters tend to besmaller than the average height of theirrace.

The jester class cannot be combinedwith any other class at any time by thesame character. Any change from thejester’s alignment to a lawful or evilalignment immediately makes the jestera thief with only climbing and pickpock-eting skills and no others, not even thenormal thieving skills. If he or shechanges or is changed back to the formeralignment or another acceptable one,the character may resume play as a jes-ter after a rest of one month of gametime.

Jesters’ hit dice are six-sided, and they

may have as many as 10 hit dice. Beyond10th level, the jester gets two additionalhit points per level.

Jesters’ special abilities1: One new language, over and above

those already allowed to the jester NPCbecause of intelligence, may be learnedat each odd-numbered level of expe-rience, including first level. To reflect thejester’s naturally strange mind, the newlanguage may (if the DM desires) berolled randomly from the table on p. 102of the Dungeon Masters Guide, re-rol-ling if the resulting language is alreadyknown.

2: Due to their outrageous manner-isms and peculiar dress, jesters gain a +1on initiative die rolls in combat situationswith all types of opponents (who are as-sumed to be too stunned or surprised toreact quickly).

D R A G O N 4 5

3: Jesters save on the thief table, with a+1 on all saving throws to account fortheir extremely good luck.

4: Jesters can climb walls and otherrough vertical surfaces with a base 75%chance of success. This chance improves2% for each level from second throughninth, and 1% per level thereafter to amaximum chance of 99%. Racial anddexterity bonuses for climbing, from p.16 of the Players Handbook, are appli-cable to jester NPCs.

5: From the third level onward, jestersmay pick pockets as well as a thief of twolevels lower. Racial and dexterity bo-nuses apply to this ability as well.

6: Being the masters of wit and insultthat they are, jesters may raise the mo-rale of friends and lower the morale ofenemies within a 60-foot radius of thejester. The morale score alteration iseither +10% or -10%, depending on whe-ther the listener is an ally or an enemy.There is no saving throw against thisability. A jester who is engaged in alter-ing the local morale conditions can per-form other actions at the same time, likefighting, climbing, running, etc. Moraleis altered through the skillful use of loudvocal commentary and hand gestures;thus silence, paralysis, hold, and otherrelated spells can prevent morale altera-tion if used successfully against the of-fending jester. Morale effects begin im-mediately after one round of verbal andsomatic communication by the jester,and continue for as long as the jestercares to keep it up (to a maximum of 6turns, when he or she gets hoarse) plus2-8 turns thereafter. Only those crea-tures able to understand what the jesteris saying will be affected. A jester whoinsults orcs in the hill giant tongue willhave no effect on their morale, but a hillgiant behind the orcs, if within 60 feet,will certainly be affected. In the samesituation, if another NPC was within 60’of the jester, was allied with the jester

Jester New Climblevel languages walls

123456789

10111213141516171819

6 7 8- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -1 - -2 - -2 1 -3 2 -3 2 14 3 24 4 34 4 4

46 APRIL 1982

010101010101010101

1 75%77%79%81%83%85%87%89%91%92%93%94%95%96%97%98%99%99%99%

and understood the hill giant language,he would have an improved morale scoreat the same time the hill giant’s morale islowered. If the hill giant fails a moralecheck, he will leave (ears burning) andnot return for at least 20 minutes.

7: Jesters of any level are immune toinsanity of any sort (no matter whatanyone else thinks). This does not in-clude confusion spells and the like.

8: Jesters are accustomed by trade tojuggling small objects and doing trickswith them. This experience has an im-portant side effect; any time a jester isaware that a small grenade-like object,dagger, or dart has been tossed within 10feet of him or her, there is a base 80%chance, +1% per level of the jester to amaximum of 99%, that the jester cansuccessfully catch the item in questionand immediately (in the same segment)toss it back in the direction it came from.The jester cannot do anything else inthat round, but may do this up to threetimes in a round if necessary. Only ob-jects up to 10 gp (one pound) in weightmay be so caught in this manner. The

category of grenade-like objects couldinclude vials of poison, flaming bottles ofoil, acid grenades, or the third form ofOtiluke’s Freezing Sphere. Even a poi-soned dagger may be safely grasped ifthe jester catches it, provided the hiltitself is not poisoned. The jester will notbe struck by the item if he or she misses,unless the caster had made a successful“to hit” score in the first place. If thejester catches a dagger or dart but hasno expertise with the weapon, it can bethrown back but will have the non-pro-ficiency penalty on the chance to score ahit. To perform this action, the jestermust have at least one hand free andcannot be wearing any sort of glove orhand covering.

9: At the 16th level of ability and above,a High Jester is also known as a Prince ofFools. He or she then gains the power toread and utilize scrolls of a magic-useror illusionist nature, with the same de-gree of skill as a 10th-level thief. Thesame chances for causing the spell to bemisunderstood or backfire are present;however, if the spell backfires, there is

JESTER TABLE I6-sided dice for

Experience Experience accumulatedpoints level hit points Level title0—1,100 11 1d6 Wit

1,101—2,200 12 2 Comic2,201—4,500 13 3 Clown4,501—9,000 14 4 Buffoon9,001—18,000 15 5 Joker

18,001—36,000 16 6 Trickster36,001—64,000 17 7 Harlequin64,001—100,000 18 8 Merryandrew

100,001—140,000 19 9 Jester140,001—200,000 10 10 High Jester200,001—400,000 11 10+2 High Jester (11th)400,001—600,000 12 10+4 High Jester (12th)600,001—800,000 13 10+6 High Jester (13th)800,001—1,000,000 14 10+8 High Jester (14th)

200,000 experience points per level for each additional level beyond the 14th.Jesters gain 2 hit points per level after the 10th.

JESTER TABLE IIPick Catch

pockets object-- 81%-- 82%

30% 83%35% 84%40% 85%45% 86%50% 87%55% 88%60% 89%65% 90%70% 91%80% 92%90% 93%

100% 94%105% 95%110% 96%115% 97%125% 98%125% 99%

1-122334444444444444

2---1223344444444444

Jester spell level3-----12233444444444

122334444444

4-------

1223344444

5---------

only a 10% chance that it will adverselyaffect the jester casting it. (Other peoplenearby may not be so fortunate.)

10: Jesters are so skilled at castingtheir voices (most commonly when us-ing mannequins) that they function as ifthey had a permanent ventriloquismspell, though this ability is not magical.The range of this ability is & 1” radiusaround the jester (10 feet indoors and 30feet outdoors). As with the spell, the jes-ter may change his or her voice, makedifferent sorts of noises, and so on, solong as the noises are something thatcould conceivably be made vocally.There is a 10% chance per point of intel-ligence that each listener has above theIntelligence of the jester that the ruse willbe discovered; this chance may be rolledonce per round when the ventriloquismability is used.

clubs, daggers, scimitars, slings, staves,and swords (either short, long, or broadswords). Oil may be used as a weapon,but jesters will almost never use poisonunder any circumstances but the mostextreme. Too frequent use of poisonchanges a jester’s alignment to evil irre-vocably. Jesters attack on the thief’scombat table, but have none of the thief’sbenefits on backstabbing opponents.Two weapons may initially be chosen bya jester character at first Ievel. The non-proficiency penalty is -3, and a new wea-pon is gained for every four levels ofexperience beyond the first.

Magic items

Weapons and armor

Magic leather armor, magic smallshields, and magic weapons of the per-mitted types may be employed by jestercharacters! Only those magic items usa-ble by all character classes and restrict-ed to none may also be used by a jester.

Jesters may only wear leather armor, At the Dungeon Master’s option, jes-but they may employ small shields of any ters may have several special magicalsort in combat. They tend to dress in items that can be used only by the jesterbright colors, but might not necessarily class. Other character classes attempt-be highly visible at extreme ranges. The ing to make use of these items may sufferonly weapons permitted to jesters are minor damage, a mild form of insanity or

confusion, or some other effect of a com-ic nature. The Dungeon Master is left tohis or her own best judgement and crea-tivity in coming up with such items andtheir potentially useful or debilitating ef-fects. lmagine the uses of the Nose ofBozo, the Arrow of Steve Martin, or thedreaded Tome of Henny Youngman.

Henchmen and hirelingsJesters may take into service any sort

of standard hireling as listed in the Dun-geon Masters Guide, with the exceptionof any lawful or evil characters. Hench-men may be taken at any level and maybe any character except paladins, assas-sins, monks, and any other lawful or evilcharacters. Jesters do not normally es-tablish castles or citadels, and don’t at-tract any followers even if they do. Theycan give performances at arenas in anycity, as well as spontaneous shows atany street corner; payment by localcrowds should be determined by theDM. A jester of ninth level or more mayestablish a “fun house” or carnival to at-tract bigger crowds and make more mon-ey; details, again, should be worked outby the DM.

D R A G O N 4 7

Magic spellsBy dint of studious application, and a

lot of luck, jesters may manage to com-mit to memory a small number of magicspells normally usable by magic-users,druids, or illusionists. All the jester’sspells are of the Enchantment/Charmvariety, and there is a 1% chance perlevel of the spell that it will misfire eachtime it is used and have no effect, sincejesters’ minds weren’t made for storingspells well. Jesters must research the

spells they wish to know (and may inventnew ones if they desire); upon learningeach new spell, a jester is able to recordit in a special spell book that cannot beused by anyone but another jester, so heor she can relearn the spell after it is cast.This is very much like the way in whichrangers learn and use their magic-userspells. Jesters can cast their spells whilewearing leather armor. A complete list ofspells (if the DM desires, include otherEnchantment/Charm spells) as follows:

First levelAnimal Friendship (D)Charm Person (M)Friends (M)Hypnotism (I)Sleep (M)

Second levelforget (M)Ray of Enfeeblement (M)Scare (M)Trip (D)

by Arthur W. Collins

Many long years ago, there was a mannamed Diarmuid, who was the greatestof all bards of his time. In his day he hadtold many a jest, sung many a lay, drunkmany a cup of golden ale, and lightenedmany a heart. Indeed, he was knownthroughout all the lands he traveled asthe best of companions, a hearty manwith a great laugh like thunder rollingdown from the hills. He was gracious toprince and thrall alike, and his life waslong and merry. So he came to be muchloved by all who knew him, and as he layfinally on his deathbed, the town of hisresidency mourned. The Archdruid andthe local Lord had come to be with thegreat Magnus Alumnus at his passing,and drink his grave ale. A fitting gravitysettled over all the countryside.

Fitting, that is, to all but Diarmuid him-self. Perhaps he thought it poor form tohave lightened hearts all his life, only toweigh them down at his end. Perhaps hefeared to slip away into death and beforgotten, and wished to do one lastgreat deed before he died, to make hisname live on. Or perhaps the lively senseof humor that he applied to all things justcouldn’t be suppressed, even on this oc-casion of solemn gravity. In any event,he had thought of one last jest to tell, andhe meant to crack his joke before hedied.

“Quick, lad,” he croaked to his ap-prentice, a young bard named Fergus.“Fetch me a stoup of wine, and bring theArchdruid and the Prince and their com-panies. There is one last jest in this oldfool, and I’ll tell it, ‘ere Arawn takes mysoul to Caer Sidi. There’s no more jest-ing in that grey land.”

Fergus looked askance at his master,but a dying man’s request is courtesy’scommand, so off the young bard went tofetch the lords. And they came: PrinceBras, a heavy man, cruel to his thralls,cruel to his women, cruel to his beasts;the Archdruid with his long fade, verymuch at home among wailing womenand ponderous thoughts, enjoying the

48 APRIL 1982

solemnity of the occasion like a tonic;the Lady Meave, who saw no charm inanything but herself; and all their chiefServitors. Not a single peasant was al-lowed to enter the room — “Not that Ithought they would be,” muttered Diar-muid to himself as the guests entered.

The Archdruid cleared his throat andmade a speech to which all listened re-spectfully except for the dying man, whomotioned Fergus to bring him the wine.He then sipped his wine all throughBras’s curt farewell and Meave’s weepyone, during which she somehow man-aged to get her terribly expensive hat-feather in his wine. He noticed. So dideveryone else. She was pleased.

“A very nice plume, my chick,” said he,raising himself up slowly to stand on thefloor. “But I’ve called you together tohear old Diarmuid’s last jest, for I’d notleave the folk mirthless, nor did I wish todie alone.” His voice grew stronger as hebegan his tale, “Once there was a travel-ing merchant,” he said, “who stopped ata simple crofter’s farmhouse.”

For several minutes he held them en-thralled by his skill once again, and thenhe came to the punch line. At once, Braslet out a hearty guffaw, and the LadyMeave blushed and began to titter. TheArchdruid, despite his best efforts tocontrol himself, held his stomach andhowled. The entire company bit theirlips, slapped their sides, rolled on theflags and rushes, choking with helplesslaughter that drifted out into the sombertown. Those who heard wondered at thestrange sound.

Soon the laughter, having reached itsheight, was stilled. Fergus wiped hiseyes, and looked about the room. Sud-denly, his mouth dropped open in hor-ror. All the great lords and ladies weredead! Only he was left alive — he andDiarmuid, who now lay on the bed oncemore, obviously spent and sinking.

“Fergus,” whispered the old man. AsFergus knelt to hear his master’s lastwords, the old bard said, “Stand thecommon folk a round of drinks out of myLord’s purse, over there. I said I’d not

“He wholeave the folk mirthless, nor did I wish todie alone.” He smiled a weak smile andsaid, “Such sour companions as theseare fitting for Arawn’s hall, and maybeeven he will find this amusing.” And thenhe was gone.

So, Diarmuid’s Last Jest was heard byno one living but Fergus, who remem-bered it, and passed it on to his appren-tice. And to this day, Diarmuid’s Last Jestis a byword among the common folk,who revere his name as the greatest of allbards who ever lived.

Diarmuid’s Last Jest is perhaps themost powerful of all bardic special abili-ties. When told properly by a trainedbard, it has the awesome ability to makeits hearers literally die laughing. To tellthe Jest takes 5 rounds. The bard’shands must be free, and he must be un-encumbered. The speaker must con-verse freely in the hearers’ native tonguefor the Jest to have its full effect; telling itin a tongue not native to the hearers

Third level

Hold Animal (D)Hold Person (M)Suggestion (M)

Fourth level

Charm Monster (M)Confusion (M)Fumble (M)

Fifth level

Feeblemind (M)Hold Monster (M)

Sixth level

Mass Suggestion (I)

Seventh levelMass Charm (M)

Eighth levelOtto’s Irresistible Dance (M)Jester Table II shows the levels at

which a jester may gain new spells andhow many spells the jester may cast perday. Jester NPCs will use these spells tobest possible advantage in causing themost amusing situations that can be im-agined by the DM. Only in times of greatdanger or duress will the jester use thesespells with an intent to cause real harm.

laughs last...�gives them a +3 on their saving throw,and the most extreme effect (death bymirth) cannot be achieved. (See list ofsaving-throw modifiers hereafter.)

Needless to say, a joke can be intrinsi-cally funny, but if told without skill it canstill fall flat. This is why only bards (whoare professionals in this sort of thing)can tell the Jest with effect. Indeed, onlybards know the best lines, although sim-ilar jokes and stories of this nature arecommon. The Jest is guaranteed to get alaugh almost anywhere it is told, but for itto have special effect, the bard must rollhis charm percentage or less, just as if hewere attempting to charm his hearers.Saving throws vs. the Jest are made assaves vs. magic. A hearer’s magic resist-ance does not apply in any way, howev-er, for the Jest is neither charm nor anyother form of magic. It is just screaming-ly funny, especially when told by a trainedbard. Note also that immunity to charmspells, which some beings and charac-ters possess, also does not count vs. the

Jest — not even as a bonus on the savingthrow.

When the bard rolls his charm percen-tage or lower and the hearer fails hissaving throw, the hearer is helpless withlaughter and will die within 7-10 (d4+6)rounds.

If the hearer makes his saving throw,the hearer is helpless with laughter for7-16 (d10+6) rounds, and weak (-2 “tohit”) for 2-8 (2d4) rounds thereafter.

When the bard rolls more than hischarm percentage and the hearer failshis saving throw, the hearer laughs for1-6 rounds. Reaction dice are at +25%,during this time, and the hearer is able toreact fully to any situation, but is sus-ceptible to automatic surprise during thefirst 1-3 rounds of laughing.

If the hearer makes his saving throw,the hearer is angered and/or scornful,his reaction rolls are modified downward25%, and the hearer is wary and cautious(no automatic surprise possible).

Modifiers to the hearers’ saving throwsare as follows:

Bard fails charm percentage roll: +2Hearer’s intelligence Low: +1Hearer’s intelligence High or better: -2

(More intelligent hearers can pickup on more Subtleties than a com-paratively simple hearer can.)

Jest told in tongue understood by, butnot native to, hearers: +3 on save, maxi-mum effect not possible.

At the DM’s option, large groups (e.g.,a bunch of orcs, roaring drunk, and look-ing for entertainment at their captive’sexpense) may be given a mass savingthrow.

Bards are immune to the effects of theJest, as are leprechauns, whose reactionto the teller will rise 50% upon hearingthe Jest properly told. All other joke-telling beings are liable to it, with thefollowing exceptions and special cases:

Sphinxes save at -2Certain intelligent undead might

be subject to the Jest (DM’s op-tion), but get a +5 on their savingthrow.

Some common-speaking drag-

ons may be terribly amused by theJest, but they will not be helplesswith laughter (though they may besurprised).

Non-intelligent animals, and be-ings from the outer planes, are notaffected — not that they don’t havea sense of humor, but it doesn’tdance to the same tune.

The Jest is an oral tradition; it will nev-er be found written down.

A bard gets one chance to learn (andsubsequently use) the Jest upon attain-ing each new level of experience beyondthe first level. It can only be used oncewhile the bard occupies a particularexperience level, except for 23rd-levelbards, who can learn and use the Jestonce per month. To learn the Jest, thebard must roll his legend lore percen-tage. He can also learn it from anotherbard who knows it, but the price for shar-ing such a professional secret would bevery stiff — a major magical item pluscash, plus a favor or three, to say theleast.

The Jest is very intricate and full ofnuances, and cannot just be rattled off. Ifthe bard attempts it more than once be-fore going up a level, he must roll for hischarm percentage five times (once perround of telling), or he blows the joke,and in any event the hearers get an extra+2 on their saving throws in addition toany other modifiers that may apply.

Interrupting the Jest while it is beingtold blows the whole deal, whether thebard or someone else is the interrupter.

Under most conditions, a bard can geteven a rowdy crowd under control, sothe DM should not be too finicky abouthecklers, noise, or acoustics interferingwith hearing the entire Jest. A good bardcan take these conditions and turn themto his advantage. Besides, laughter is in-fectious — so what if you missed a linehere or there? But someone who cannothear at least a part of the bard’s perfor-mance will not be affected by the Jest.

Remember the motto of Fergus, pupilof the grand old Diarmuid himself: Hewho laughs last, laughs longest.

DR A G O N 49

50 APRIL 1982

INTRODUCTIONThe purpose of this article is to add an element of confusion and outrage to

otherwise typical encounters whenever the DM is in a lousy mood. The characterspresented here are drawn from the pages of arcane tests and eldritch volumes ofliterature almost as old as yesterday’s newspaper. The fact that I authored those textsreflects in no way upon the authenticity of the following material, and the reader isencouraged to regard these beings as utterly factual and real. The author also hassome real estate in the Everglades for those who are interested in seaside property.

1st-level kobold fighterALIGNMENT: Lawful neutralHIT POINTS: 14ARMOR CLASS: -3NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-10 (da

4-7 (sling)HIT BONUS: +5 (dagger), +3 (sling)MOVE: 9”

having 4 hit points and wearing a Ring ofFeather Falling, jungle fatigues, greenberets, and small utility belts. Theyare armed with a variety of weapons, in-cluding short swords, daggers, slings,short bows, and the like; there is a 15%chance per kobold that the soldier willown and use a magical weapon, and a15% chance for each kobold of owning a

PSIONIC ABILITY: NilSTRENGTH: 16INTELLIGENCE: 15WISDOM: 1DEXTERITY: 16CONSTITUTION: 18

ring, scroll, or other usable miscellane-ous magic items.

Idi himself leads his company’s raids,wearing a +3 Ring of Protection, Bracersof Defense (AC 2), and fatigues with a

CHARISMA: 9 (18 to Kobolds)SPECIAL ABILITIES:

Hide in shadows: 25%Hide in natural terrain: 50%Move silently: 25%Climb walls: 70%

One night some years ago, in thecourse of an expedition in search of ahigher grade of alcoholic beverage toserve at the clan’s Friday night parties, ayoung kobold named Idi Snitmin sur-prised a wizard on a lonely back road.Seeing that the wizard was unaccom-panied and lying face down in the road(probably from overindulgence at thelocal beerfest), Idi courageously creptup from behind and dispatched the un-fortunate with the wizard’s own winebottle.

large number of medals on his shirt. Heis armed with a +5 dagger and a Sling ofSeeking. He possesses the god-Iike stat-ure of 3’6” (god-like to a kobold, any-way) and maintains his position as headof the company through his superior wit,strength, and possession of the afore-mentioned brewery keys. Because of thelarge amount of wine the company hasaccess to, morale among the troops isvery high.

A search of the body revealed a sack-ful of magic rings, a set of bracers, amagic dagger, and the keys to the cellarof the largest brewery in that area. Withthese treasures, little Idi quickly won hisway to a high place in kobold history.

Discovering that all but one of therings were of Feather Falling, the enter-prising kobold organized the first (andonly) airborne company of kobold com-mandos. When encountered, Idi will beaccompanied by 8-20 other kobolds, each

The military philosophy of Idi’s raids issimple: Never attack anything that mightfight back for longer than two minutes.The modus operandi involves locatingsmall groups of peasants or lone (andseemingly low-level) adventurers, (hope-fully) taking them by surprise, takingthem prisoner, and stealing everythingthat can be found. At night, Idi directsairborne attacks. The commandos ridetheir fierce giant war bats (2 HD, AC 7,bite 1-3, move 3”/24”) over their chosentarget, usually a solitary cottage or chick-en coop, and “bail out” to take their vic-tims unawares.

Idi avoids killing those he captures,preferring that they live to spread storiesand tales of his fame and daring. He isnot averse to hiring his unit out (at in-credibly high rates) as a mercenary com-pany, to those who do not expect hisgroup to take on large opponents.

EUBEEN HADD adin suffered an unusual accident whileriding through town to meet Eubeen. His

20th-level halfling thiefALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutralHIT POINTS: 87ARMOR CLASS: -3 (psionics plus

dexterity) or 5 (dexterity only)NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-8 (+12) (x6 if

from behind)HIT BONUS: +6 (+10 from behind)MOVE: 9”PSIONIC ABILITY: 369

Attack/Defense Modes: All/allSTRENGTH: 24 (with girdle),

12 (without girdle)INTELLIGENCE: 15WISDOM: 8DEXTERITY: 19CONSTITUTION: 17CHARISMA: 17THIEF ABILITIES:Pick pocket: 145% Open lock: 125%Find/rem. trap: 115% Climb wall: 85%Hide in shadow: 130% Hear noise: 60%Move silently: 125% Read lang.: 75%PSIONIC DISCIPLINES:Body Equilibrium Body WeaponryCell Adjustment HypnosisProbability Travel Etherealness

Eubeen Hadd was once a happy resi-dent of a small halfling burrow commu-

nity near the Wishie Wash. There hemade a living as a farmer, raising cain tosell to the local merchants. He becamebored with his work and decided to takeup a more interesting and challengingcareer, one that would make full use ofhis talents for political administration,financial management, and high manualdexterity. He became a thief.

Donning the robe and sandals of acleric, Eubeen went from town to town,proclaiming himself the High Gizmo ofthe Order of the Holy Halfling. He estab-lished a reputation for performing mira-cles (walking on water, healing woundsby touch, turning invisible, etc.) withoutthe apparent help of any magical de-vices, though it is rumored he wears aGirdle of Storm Giant Strength.

saddle straps parted as he rode past agroup of hairy-footed children, and hefell into a large public fountain. Thoughthe children tried to rescue him, it was tono avail. Constables on the scene foundthe anti-paladin had drowned and hadfallen on his sword and dagger thirty-eight times. Later, a ringleader of thehecklers was found in his home, havingapparently fallen from an upper-storywindow twice, after tying himself to achair and taking poison. Eubeen’s com-ment that the man must have been acci-dent-prone was accepted without hesi-tation by everyone, and his rallies nowgo on uninterrupted.

There were some troubles at the startof his career, but most of them werecleared up in a short time. Hecklers at hisnightly rallies were surprised to find thethongs on their sandals cut or tied to-gether, and all of their spare change dis-appeared when they least expected it.

The hecklers assumed that Eubeen’snumerous halfling followers were toblame, and they hired a noted and fearedanti-paladin to go after him and discussthe matter. Unfortunately, the anti-pal-

In his spare time, Eubeen serves as theleader for a special interest group hefounded: SPUNK, the Short People’s Un-ion for Nefarious Kleptomania. Thegroup extends its membership to alllight-fingered beings of 4’ height or less,including dwarves, gnomes, halflings,kobolds, leprechauns, brownies, pixies,sprites, pack rats and raccoons. Mem-bers are made privy to intelligence in-formation on city guards and militia forvarious towns, merchants’ store plans,bank and treasure vaults, and so forth.Members reportedly greet one anotherwith secret handshakes and remarkslike, “Feeling low today?”

MORC THE ORC12th level Idiot (Snaga orc)ALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutralHIT POINTS: 69ARMOR CLASS: 10NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1 point (50%

chance)HIT BONUS: As 1st-level M-U (-2 to hit)MOVE: 6”PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil; immune to

psionic attackSTRENGTH: 3INTELLIGENCE: 4WISDOM: 3DEXTERITY: 4CONSTITUTION: 20CHARISMA: 3SPECIAL ABILITIES: See below

The tales and legends surrounding theorigin of the enigmatic figure of Morc theOrc are peculiar, incredible, and, alas,true. His beginnings may be traced to thetownship of Ogrespew, in the UhpsihdeDowns. The peasants of that region tellof a cool winter day many years agowhen a tremendous roc flew over thevillage. While cruising along at about1,500 feet, the creature accidentally laidan egg. The expansive ovoid crashedinto the heart of the town and landed ona derelict Snaga orc (Morc) asleep in an

alleyway.Making full use of their sparse mental

talents, the local populace concludedthat the previously unnoticed orc hadbeen a part of the contents of the CosmicOmelet, and they fell down and did hom-age to him. Morc, still intellectually dis-ordered (more than usual) from the ae-rial assault, acknowledged his originfrom the Outer Planes and identified alarge number of deities as close familymembers. The Greater Gods, in theiromniscience, took note of the announce-ment, and at their annual All-Powerful,Mighty and Omniscient Deities Conven-tion (held in Limbo that year) generouslyelected to bestow some gifts upon thelucky Morc.

One to four times a day, without warn-ing, Morc the Orc is subject to the power-ful effects of Delayed Blast Halitosis.This condition has a 30-foot radius ofeffect around Morc (unless there is awind) and all beings therein will sufferthe effects of a Stinking Cloud (no sav-ing throw) — all but Morc, that is, whowill not notice any difference.

Whenever Morc speaks, all creatureswithin a 60-foot radius of him will be-come Confused as per the spell, withouta saving throw. The effect lasts as longas Morc speaks and for 2-8 rounds af-

terwards. Treat all results having playersattack Morc as having them either fallasleep (50%) or hallucinate and wanderabout aimlessly (50%). Sadly (for thosemeeting Morc), he dearly loves to talk,frequently about nothing in particular.

Morc’s constitution was increased bythe gods so he would have a betterchance of surviving in the wilderness. Hisother powers are usually more thanenough, however, to keep him safe fromanyone he encounters.

The god’s greatest gift was to enchantMorc so that any person who befriendshim for seven days (never leaving hisside, listening to his every word, beingseen frequently with him in public, etc.)would receive a Wish, to be taken when-ever the character wants. Any number ofcharacters may try for the Wish, but theymay try only once. Note that any non-player characters wiII absolutely refuseto stay in Morc’s vicinity once they be-come aware of his . . . talents, and willhave considerably lowered morale andloyalty scores whenever Morc is present.

As a final note, Morc is a favorite ofmany of the gods, and any attempt to killhim will fail for one reason or the other. Itis not likely that a god will show up per-sonally to protect Morc, but they do in-tend for him to be around for a long time.

DR A G O N 51

Artistof themonth

No one is more deserving of our FirstAnnual Artist of the Month Award thanthe talented and creative Phil Foglio. Inhis years of association with DRAGON™Magazine, Phil has turned out some ofthe funniest and most imaginative paint-ings we’ve ever seen. (They were sup-posed to be funny, weren’t they?)

But a lot of other artists who contrib-ute to this magazine are just as talentedas Phil —and Phil himself would be thefirst (or maybe the second) to admit that.Why, then, is Phil being singled out?

To put it simply, Phil knows the mean-ing of the word “deadline.” He’s alwayson time when he sends us a picture we’reexpecting, and that’s an attitude thatdoesn’t go unappreciated by an editor.And his work never has a hurried lookabout it—quite the contrary, in fact. It’salmost as though he knows beforehandexactly where to put each color. (Whenhe’s pressed for an explanation of howhe does this, Phil gets real bashful,mumbles something unintelligible, andtried to get off the phone in a hurry. Whata modest guy.)

Phil’s big test came just recently, whenhe offered to do up a special two-pagepainting in time for our April issue. Judg-ing by his past performance, we had noreason to think he wouldn’t get the paint-ing done in time, and even though thispage is being sent to the printer with abig white hole all over it, we have theutmost confidence in Phil’s ability to getthe painting to us in time to fill up thehole. And we’re equally confident thatthis painting will be, as they all havebeen, an accurate reflection of the talentof this master craftsman.

52 APRIL 1982

D R A G O N 5 3

Walt Disney’sDONALD DUCK

Written by Tom Moldvay

10th-level fighter/berserkerALIGNMENT: Neutral goodHIT POINTS: 138ARMOR CLASS: 4NO. OF ATTACKS: 3DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-6 (+1 or +3)HIT BONUS: +1 or +3MOVE: 12”STRENGTH: 17INTELLIGENCE: 9WISDOM: 6DEXTERITY: 18CONSTITUTION: 19CHARISMA: 13

Like many cartoon characters, DonaldDuck cannot really be killed. When re-duced to zero hit points, he loses interestin the battle and wanders away. He neednever make a saving throw, and attackswhich require saving throws (even ifchecking for half damage only) neversucceed against Donald. They mightproduce a visible effect; e.g., poison may

54 APRIL 1982

VALLEY GIANT

Written by Michael Nystul

FREQUENCY: Extremely rareNO. APPEARING: 1ARMOR CLASS: -2MOVE: OccasionallyHIT DICE: 9% IN LAIR: 100%TREASURE TYPE: See belowNO. OF ATTACKS: 2SPEClAL ATTACKS: See belowSPECIAL DEFENSES: See belowMAGlC RESISTANCE: StandardINTELLIGENCE: One-track mindALIGNMENT: NeutralSIZE: Real bigPSlONlC ABILITY: Nil

The Valley Giant always dwells in hisvalley. This lair is an active farming area.The Valley Giant always has other crea-tures in his lair to act as workers. Theseworkers are all less than four feet tall.Their weapons are +1 hoes and magicwheelbarrows which produce and hurl1-10 giant corn kernels every threerounds.

Unlike other giants, the Valley Gianthas spells unique to himself:

1: Sonic Boom — Upon utterance ofthe words “Ho, ho, ho,” this spell causesa victim to take 6-36 points of damageand lose 1 point of intelligence.

2: Charm Undersized Being — Redu-ces the victim’s intelligence and charis-ma by 2 points each, and a stricken vic-tim will farm for the giant until dead.

3: Polymorph Sprite Farmer — Thisspell affects beings over 4’2”, reducingthem to 3’6” and then acting as a CharmUndersized Being.

4: Box — Enables the Giant to boxmaterial up to 10,000 gp in weight. (Ittakes 10 turns for a victim to escape thebox, by which time he has been shippedout of the valley by the spell describedbelow.)

5: Teleport Boxed Material — Up to1,000 meters distance, no chance oferror.

The Giant’s special treasure is 100 to10,000 boxes of yellow vegetables, 200to 20,000 boxes of little square orangevegetables, 150 to 15,000 containers ofround green vegetables, and 250 to 25,000boxes of all of the above combined.

Because he appears apparently fromnowhere, the Giant has a 99% chance ofsurprise.

Description: The Valley Giant hasgreen skin, hair, and eyes. He wears ashirt of leaves (AC -2) and has the unus-ual habit of standing at all times with hishands on his hips. The Valley Giant’s oneweakness is that if someone asks, “What’snew, Giant?” he will immediately filibus-ter for ten minutes and can be easily at-tacked during that time,

turn Donald green for a turn, a fireballmay blacken his feathers for a turn, butDonald will then return to normal and beunharmed.

Donald usually wears a blue sailor suitand, while he possesses all the skills onemight expect from a sailor, he is an indif-ferent sailor at best, preferring to remainon land. Donald often delights in playingtricks and practical jokes. He does not,however, take kindly to having the tablesturned on him. He has a hair-trigger temper

which often sends him into a quackingfury. Even when berserk, he has a +2bonus both to hit and on damage done(hence the dual statistics). It is left to theDM’s discretion to decide when Donaldgoes berserk.

Donald especially dislikes chipmunksand mountain lions. One of the quickestways to turn him berserk is to shoot anarrow at him or throw something at hishead and then shout: “Hey, Donald,duck!”

THE TASMANIAN DEVIL

Written by Steven Sullivan

FREQUENCY: Very rareNO. APPEARING: 1ARMOR CLASS: 4MOVE: 6”/16” in whirlwindHIT DICE: 12% IN LAIR: NilTREASURE TYPE: Nit

NO. OF ATTACKS: 2DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-20SPECIAL ATTACKS: Whir/windSPECIAL DEFENSES: RegenerationMAGIC RESISTANCE: StandardINTELLIGENCE: LowALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutralSIZE: S (3’ tall)PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil

Chuck Jones’ and Warner Brothers’THE MARTIAN

Written by David Cook

7th-level fighter (race unknown)ALIGNMENT: Lawful evilHIT POINTS: 105ARMOR CLASS: 2NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-3HIT BONUS: +2MOVE: 9”PSIONIC ABILITY: NilSTRENGTH: 9INTELLIGENCE: 18WISDOM: 8DEXTERITY: 10CONSTITUTION: 19CHARISMA: 15

Although puny, this little creature con-stantly schemes to take over the Earth,the galaxy, or anything else. Although arelatively poor fighter in melee combat,he possesses a powerful Disintegrator/Re-integrator pistol. This weapon has arange of 1”, and any target hit must savevs. wands (at -2) or crumble into dust.However, if the setting is reversed, thetarget will be restored to its previouscondition. He will also have 10-100 de-

hydrated martians (treat as long-nosedgreen ogres) which will grow to full sizeupon application of 2 drops of water.

Half of the time, the Martian’s flyingsaucer will be ‘in the vicinity of the en-counter. This device may carry one per-son (and his or her equipment) at speedsof up to 1,000 mph, However, the con-trols are such that only the Martian mayfly it in safety. All others attempting topilot the craft will head in a random di-rection (in space) for 1 to 10 hours, untilthey arrive at a far different location fromtheir starting point — possibly a differentplanet.

The Martian wears tennis shoes and ahelmet which are magically animated,thus making it virtually impossible to de-termine when he is dead. When his hitpoints are reduced to zero, the helmetwill cover the body (or what remains ofit), and the shoes will attempt to carryhim to safety. The Martian evidently hasaccess to sophisticated revival and res-toration devices, for no matter what hap-pens to him he always returns. Thehelmet also functions as a Necklace ofAdaptation.

The Martian is seldom encountered onEarth itself, although he may be nearby.His approach is normally heralded bythe sound of tinny music.

The Tasmanian Devil is a mangy, vi-cious, beady-eyed, evil-tempered brutethat will eat anything — especially rab-bits. (It also has a fondness for duck.)

This ferocious creature attacks twiceper round, doing 2-20 points of damageper attack to anyone it hits. It can regen-erate 3-30 hit points in any round inwhich it does nothing else (if it is notdead). It will almost always do this if sur-prised or if it takes a large amount ofdamage from any non-melee attack.

The Devil also has the ability to goberserk, turning into a living whirlwind ofteeth and claws. As a whirlwind, it moveseach round in a random direction. In thisform the Tasmanian Devil may borethrough anything (including metal orstone) in its path except a magical barri-er of some type. A character in the way ofthe whirlwind will take 6-60 points ofdamage. The Tasmanian Devil may stopthis whirlwind at any time, but may notattack until a round later, when it regainsits bearings.

The Tasmanian Devil is slow-witted,and can be tricked by anyone imperson-ating a Tasmanian She-Devil. This canbe easily accomplished by anyone ableto shove a bear trap into his or her mouthand flash a charming smile.

Despite its low intelligence, the Tas-manian Devil can speak a few simplesentences in the common tongue, suchas “Why for you do that to me?”

D R A G O N 5 5

BASEBALL BUGBEARS

Created by Karl Keseland Tom Richmond

FREQUENCY: Very rareNO. APPEARING: 9, or 18 if two teams

are in a playoff, plus one coach and

ARMOR CLASS: 5 (catchers: 3)MOVE: 12”HIT DICE: Special% IN LAIR: 10%TREASURE TYPE: 1-4 diamonds

NO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: Softball 1-2;

Hardball 1-4; Baseball Bat 1-6SPECIAL ATTACKS: NilSPECIAL DEFENSES: NilINTELLIGENCE: Low to averageALIGNMENT: SIZE: L (7’+ tall)PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil

These creatures travel around in tight,nomadic bands. If they are encounteredin their camp, practice ball-throwing andhitting will undoubtedly be going on. Ifthey are met while wandering, generalteam-talk and casual catching gameswill be happening. Baseball bugbearsare unusually rowdy and will usually at-tack anyone for any reason. They willalways attack any person disrupting apractice session, and death is too goodfor someone who breaks up one pf theirgames! Because of their loud nature,baseball bugbears never surprise oppo-nents, and can usually be heard a gooddistance away. They have uncommonlyhigh morale, and surrender or retreatonly in the most unusual circumstances.

WEREBEAVER

Written by Jeff Goelz

FREQUENCY: UniqueNO. APPEARING: 1ARMOR CLASS: 6MOVE; 9”HIT DICE: 4+2% IN LAIR: NilTREASURE TYPE: NilNO. OF ATTACKS: 1DAMAGE/ATTACK: 4-16SPECIAL ATTACKS: NilSPECIAL DEFENSES: Silver or magical

weapon needed to hitMAGIC RESISTANCE: StandardINTELLIGENCE: AverageALIGNMENT: Chaotic good

(chaotic evil in were form)SIZE: S (M in were form)PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil

The werebeaver is usually encounter-ed in human form. He appears as ayoung boy with short, dark hair and a

56 APRIL 1982

For each team encountered, one base-ball bugbear will be a pitcher (+1 to hitwith baseballs, +1 damage), one will be acatcher (armor class 3, 75% likely tocatch any missile), and one will be thecoach (slightly older and a bit overweight,-1 to hit and -1 damage with anything).The coach’s team will listen explicitly,and only, to him.

The rest of the group will be normalplayers, although a druid of 3rd level orhigher may notice that various teammembers seem to hail from differentareas of the country, due mainly to theheavy, off-season trading that occursbetween teams. For each team of base-ball bugbears, there is a 10% chance thatone player has a batting average over.400, giving him +2 to hit and damagewith a baseball bat. Also, there is a 10%

round head. It may be noticed that hehas buck teeth. Accompanying the were-beaver is a slightly older boy with curly,light colored hair. This boy is namedWally. Their clothing is outdated, andthey can be easily distinguished by thefact that they have no coloration. Their

chance that any given team is the currentleague champion, in which case eachteam member has an extra +1 to hit withboth bats and balls.

All teams have at least one kobold bat-boy, who will continually supply theteam with new weapons. This kobold,however, will usually run away once anybats are swung in battle. Once a koboldbatboy begins to show signs of wantingindependence from his team, baseballbugbears will hold a large feast in hishonor, usually with the kobold batboy asthe main course. Baseball bugbears havebeen known to raid human, and evenelven and dwarven, villages in search ofnew batboys when a fresh supply of ko-bolds is not readily available.

All baseball bugbears have proficien-cy in both bats and balls. They will al-ways attack with baseballs from a dis-tance, switching to bats when their op-ponents come within reach. The teamwill have at least 9 wooden bats ready touse at any given moment, and 10-60balls. If the baseball bugbears are male,they will use hardballs. A female teamwill use softballs. However, one team in20 will be found carrying some of both.All teams will have an ample supply ofbaseball mitts or gloves. These glovesmay be used as an equivalent to a small,wooden shield, making the average base-ball bugbear armor class 4 while the mittis in use. Mitts may not be worn whenbats are being employed.

For game purposes, basebalI bug bearsare treated as 3+1 hit dice monsters. Inbattle — regardless of how much or howlittle damage they have suffered — eachteam member will be killed automaticallyafter being hit three times: Three strikesand they’re out!

bodies and clothing are various shadesof white, grey, and black. Also, it is pos-sible that a certain identifiable thememusic will be heard whenever the were-beaver is encountered.

Once the werebeaver is encountered,he will appear to get nervous, and Wallywill tell the party, “Why don’t you guysleave before I start to think you’re abunch of creeps or goons or something.You guys better watch out or I’ll tell mydad and he’ll clobber you.” When hehears words of this sort, the werebeaverwill respond by saying, “Gee, thanks,Wally. You’re not such a bad brother af-ter all.”

If the werebeaver is still threatened af-ter Wally has issued his warning, there isa 25% chance per round (cumulative)that the stress will overcome the littlefellow, and he will transform into a were-beaver and attack with his powerful bite.If either he or Wally is attacked, he willtransform into the werebeaver immedi-ately, and will be extremely hard to getunder control.

DRAGON 57

Convention scheduleMUNCHCON II, April 16-17 — To be held in Corbly Hall on thecampus of Marshall University in Huntington, W. Va. Guestspeakers will include Richard and Wendy Pini, Jean Lorrah,and (tentatively) L. Sprague and Catherine de Camp. Seminars,D&D tournaments, films, and an art show are on the schedule—and admission is free! For details, send a SASE to MarshallUniversity Science Fiction Society, Memorial Student Center,Marshall University, Huntington WV 25701.

TRI-STATE CON, April 16-18 — Role-playing games, boardgames, miniatures, painting competition, seminars. For moreinformation, write to Tri-State Con, P.O. Box 40455, CincinnatiOH 45240, or call (513)671-3791.

CONTRETEMPS, April 23-25 — A science-fiction conventionto be held in Omaha, Neb. Further information is available bywriting to: Ship to Shore, P.O. Box 12373, Omaha NE 68112.

30-May 2 — The University Hilton Inn,3110 Olentangy River Road, Columbus, Ohio, will be the site ofthis convention, which features guest of honor Hal Clement.Admission prices are $12.50 through April 1, $15 at the door.For more information, write to Marcon XVII, P.O. Box 2583,Columbus OH 43216.

May 7-9 miniature events, a painting contest, film presentation, and acomputer show are on the agenda for this convention, to beheld at Brock University in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada.Preregistration is $5 for the weekend or $3 for one day. Fordetails, write to Keith Siren, P.O. Box 457, St. Catharines, Onta-rio, Canada L2R 6V9 (phone 1-416-682-1438).

UNICON, May 8-9 — An Indiana Jones Lookalike Contest isone of the many attractions scheduled for this gaming andscience-fiction convention. The site is The Inn, located at Ex-ecutive Park, 1601 N. Universal, Kansas City, MO. Weekendmembership is $15; admission to the dealer area only is $2 perday. For more information, send SASE to Unicon I, 5425 N.Indiana, Kansas City MO 64119.

WARGAMERS WEEKEND, May 21-23 — This fourth annualevent will be held in the DAV Hall in Newburyport, Mass. Spon-sors are the Newburyport Wargamers Association and the ToySoldier hobby shop. Admission is $3 per day ($1 for Fridayevening) in advance, or $4 per day ($2 for Friday) at the door.Tournaments are scheduled in role-playing games, historicalgames, miniatures, and board games., Overnight accommoda-tions and refreshments will be available at the hall. For moredetails, contact The Toy Soldier, 20 Unicorn Street, Newbury-port MA 01950, phone (617)462-8241.

CWA-CON, May 21-23 — One of the big gatherings sponsoredby the Chicago Wargamers Association. The new location thisyear is the DuPage County Fairgrounds in Wheaton, III. Morethan 100 events are scheduled. Attendees can preregister forevents at the GEN CON® XV Convention in August and getimmediate confirmation. For information, contact CWA-Con‘82, P.O. Box 10937, Chicago IL 60610.

CONQUEST Ill, May 28-30 — SF author Norman Spinrad willbe the guest of honor at this gaming event, to be held at theContinental Hotel, Kansas City, Mo. Tournaments are sche-duled for AR&D and TFT players, among others. Registration is$9 until April 30, $12 thereafter. Contact: CONQUEST I I I, P.O.Box 32055, Kansas City MO 64111.

58 APRIL 1982

GRIMCON IV, May 28-31 —A fantasy and SF gaming gatheringto be held at the Oakland Hyatt House, Oakland, Calif. Theschedule includes all the usual convention attractions: films,dealers, demonstrations, and lots of tournaments. Pre-registra-tion cost is $14 for all four days. At the door, a four-day ticketwill cost $17, and single-session admission at the door is $7.More information is available by writing to GRIMCON, P.O. Box4153, Berkeley CA 94704.

M.I.G.S. Ill, May 30 — The Military lnterests and Games Societywill stage this event at the Kitchener-Waterloo Regional PoliceAssociation Recreation Centre in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada.Seminars, painting contests, a flea market, board-game com-petitions, and miniatures tournaments are among, the sched-uled events. Contact: Les ScanIon, President of M.I.G.S., 473Upper Wentworth St., Hamilton, Ontario, Canada L9A 4T6.

GENGHIS CON IV, June 4-6 — To be held at the AuroraStudent Center of Metro State College in Denver, Colo. Morethan 40 scheduled events; overnight parking available on cam-pus, with hotels and motels nearby. Convention registration is$10 for the weekend, $5.50 per day for Saturday and Sunday,and must be prepaid by May 1. Registration blanks and otherinformation are available from the Denver Gamers Association,P.O. Box 2945, Littleton CO 80161.

MICHICON 11, June 11-13 — Cobo Hall in Detroit will be thesite of this big conclave, staged by the Metro Detroit Gamers.More information is available by writing to that group at P.O.Box 787, Troy MI 48099.

GEN CON® EAST II Convention, June 17-20 — Widener Col-lege in Chester, Pa., is the site for this second annual TSRHobbies-sponsored event. An extensive schedule of. gamingcompetitions is offered, including a wide range of officialAD&D™ tournaments created especially for the convention.Guests of honor will include AD&D creator E. Gary Gygax,peerless painter Duke Seifried, and fantasy artist Tim Hilde-brandt. Preregistration fee is $7, and admission is $12 at thedoor. More information is available by writing to GEN CON EastII, P.O. Box 756, Lake Geneva WI 53147.

RIVER FOREST MlCROCON, June 18-20 — Sponsered by theForest Gamers Club and the River Forest (III.) CommunityCenter. All types of gaming will be represented. For details,contact the River Forest Community Center, 414 Jackson, Riv-er Forest IL 60305, phone (312)771-6159.

INCONJUNCTION 2, July 2-4 — A science fiction and fantasyconvention featuring panel discussions, speeches, a film room,and an art show among the attractions. Guests of honor willinclude Frank Kelly Freas and Wendy & Richard Pini. Site: Thelndianapolis International Airport Hilton Inn. Registration is $9until May 31, $12 thereafter and at the door. Contact: InCon-Junction 2, P.O. Box 24403, Indianapolis IN 46224.

ORIGINS ‘82, July 23-25 — One of the longest-running andlargest gaming conventions is located in Baltimore this year.For information, write to P.O. Box 15405, Baltimore MD 21220.

GEN CON® XV Convention, Aug. 19-22 — The granddaddy ofall role-playing game conventions, sponsored by TSR Hobbies,will again be held at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside cam-pus between Racine and Kenosha. lnformation for exhibitors,prospective tournament judges, and participants is availablefrom GEN CON XV, P.O. Box 756, Lake Geneva WI 53147.

D RAGON 59

by Gary Gygax

© 1982 E. Gary Gygax.All rights reserved

In order to market the TOP SECRET®

Ibs. per each 1” over 5’5”, or 10 Ibs.) Aroll on the table yields a 6, so Sylviaweighs 125 Ibs., as a 6 indicates the addi-tion of 1” to height, which converts to 5Ibs. of weight.

Hairgame at a reasonable price, quite a bit ofmaterial had to be omitted. Because ofthis, the new agent feels as if he or shewere a clone, stepping naked into thecampaign with $400 clenched in one fist.While the money is to buy basic equip-ment for the agent, no details of startingpossessions are given, and some nov-ices might even imagine that a basicwardrobe must come from this paltrysum. In a like vein, there is no back-ground information offered to aid thenew player in identifying and personify-ing his or her character. Here are thesystems which I have developed to help.You might find them useful until some-thing “official” is published in the way ofrules to cover these areas.

Home localeHave player select area: New England,

Mid-Atlantic, Southeast, Midwest, SouthCentral, Great Plains, Southwest, WestCoast, Eastern Canada, Quebec, West-ern Canada, Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico,Virgin Islands, Mexico, Caribbean, Cen-tral America. Race and language skillscan be affected by home locale, so theplayer must select carefully. If the cam-paign is broad enough, any other homelocale can be selected, such as Argen-tina, Brazil, Chile, et al, Northern Eng-land, Southern England, Northern Ire-land, Southern Ireland, Wales, Scotland,Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands,et a/, and so on throughout the world.

Birthplace

SexSelf-explanatory; character’s sex se-

lected by player.

RaceAllow the player to choose one of the

following: Caucasian, Negro, Oriental,Polynesian, American Indian, Indian,Mixed (specify).

NationalitySelf-explanatory; country of origin or

country of residence, but if the latterorigin should also be indicated.

StockMajor national stock if not basically

one type; i.e., “American of Irish-Germanparentage.”

HeightPer rules.

WeightUse height table, but with a weight

base of 175 Ibs. for males and 110 Ibs. forfemales. Add or subtract weight at 5 Ibs.per inch, for height above or below normand as the result of a variant die roll.Example: Agent Sylvia Small is 5’7” tall,so her base weight is 120 Ibs. (110 Ibs. + 5

60 APRIL 1982

Player chooses from one of the follow-ing colors: ash blond, blond, dark blond,red-blond, red, red-brown, light brown,brown, dark brown, black, blue-black,gray, white (note graying if applicable).At the same time the characteristics ofthe hair must be noted — straight, wavy,curly, kinky — and amount and lengthnoted — full, balding, fringe, bald; verylong, long, shoulder-length, short, close-cropped.

EyesSelect eye color: light gray, gray, pale

blue, blue, dark blue, light green, green,hazel, light brown, brown, dark brown,black. Indicate whether contact lensesor glasses are worn to correct vision.

ComplexionSelect both coloration and texture:

pale, fair, ruddy, tan, brown, olive, dark,yellow, ivory, black; smooth, average,coarse, pocked.

SomatypeSelect from the basic types, remem-

bering any underweight or overweightcondition determined: ectomorph (slen-der, thin, angular), endomorph (thick,stocky, rounded, plump), mezzomorph(square, muscular, athletic).

Right or left handedPlayer’s choice.

Distinguishing marks & mannerismsPlayer notes marks such as moles,

birthmarks, freckles, scars, tattooing, etc.Also note speech accent, distinctive ges-ture or walk, affectation, or apparel oraccessory. Example: Sylvia Small hasthe following special marks and manner-isms: mole on right shoulder; smallpoxvaccination scar on inner left thigh; slightfreckling over bridge of nose; Englishpronunciation of a, au, and ee; smokesblack cigarettes; wears rubies in rings,earrings, and other jewelry.

The player must select a city or town,typically one within his or her home lo-cale or otherwise appropriate to familybackground.

BirthdateAdd month and year to age.

AgeDiscard the age generation system

used in the rules, as the curve is impro-per because it relies on treating d10 assuch. Replace it with a bell curve gener-ated with percentile dice as shown be-low, with starting age varying from 21 to36. (5d4 + 16 may be used optionally togenerate the same number range.)

Dice roll Age01-02 2103-04 2205-07 2308-11 2412-19 2520-28 2621-30 2731-47 2848-62 2963-72 3073-81 3182-89 3290-93 3394-96 3497-98 3599-00 36

EducationHave the player select an appropriate

college or university. Note degrees re-ceived — typically a B.A. or B.S. andprobably an M.A. or M.S. If knowledgescore is very high, additional degreeswill be held in most cases.

Marital statusSelect single, married, separated, di-

vorced, widowed.

ChildrenBased on marital status, select any

number from zero to six or more. Typi-cally, agents will be unmarried or other-wise single.

Hobbies and interestsHere the player should list typical

hobby, game, sports, and musical inter-ests. Example: Sylvia Small collects co-lored gems and antique jewelry. She isan excellent chess player (shogi as well)but only fair at go. She also paints in oils,knows fine art, and has some knowledgeof architecture of the medieval period.She reads avidly, science fiction and his-torical novels in particular. She enjoysclassical music and is a connoisseur offine wine and food. Sylvia is an excellentswimmer, takes ballet lessons regularly,plays golf and tennis, and skis (cross

country in the main).

Family backgroundRoll for socio-economic status:

1: middle lower class (MLC)2: upper lower class (ULC)3-4: lower middle class (LMC)5-6: middle middle class (MMC)7-8: upper middle class (UMC)9: lower upper class (LUC)0: middle upper class (MUC)

Socio-economic class will affect per-sonal starting possessions. Additionalnotes regarding parents and siblings canbe recorded — whether living or dead,occupation, political leanings, etc. Noquestionable family activity is possible ifthe agent works for a government.

PERSONAL POSSESSIONSThis builds up a reasonable dossier.

Then the personal possessions of theagent character can be determined.

Standard starting equipmentBelt 1Casual outfit 1Gloves 1 pairHat or cap 1Jacket 1Shirt/blouse, dress 1Shirt/blouse, sport 1Shoes 2 pair

SocksSweatshirtSweaterT-shirtsUnderwearWork clothesSuitcase

Personal gearAftershave/perfumeClippers, nailCombDeodorantDitty bag/shoulder bagPassportPenknife/scissorsRazor/makeupRazor blades/lipstickToothbrushWallet/purseWristwatch, ordinaryWindproof lighter

Additional money

7 pair112

7 sets1 suit

1

1111111

1/66/11111

Additional money can be used only forpurchases to augment clothing of aGeneral Outfitting nature or for a stand-ard (transportation) vehicle. To deter-mine additional funds, use the following:

Age: For each year of age above 20,add $10.

Socio-economic background: MLC, $0;ULC, $50; LMC, $100; MMC, $250; UMC,$900; LUC, $5,000; MUC, $15,000.

DRAGON 61

It must be stressed that all additionalmoney must be used to purchase cloth-ing and the like, before the acquisition ofitems found under Tools of the Tradeand after headings. Money — other thanthe $400 starting money for equipment— not spent is assumed as lost in onemanner or another.

Additional personal itemsWith additional funds at the start, and

the prospect of getting more, a few addi-tional items of a personal nature and clo-thing are called for:

Item wt. costAttache case, fine

leather 4# $300Boots, insulated or

thermal 2# $50Corduroy trousers 2# $20Denim trousers 1# $15Galoshes ½# $15Handkerchief, cotton — $1Handkerchief, silk — $8Jewelry, any type — $10+Lighter, gold — $2,000+Luggage, 5-pc. nylon 5# $90Luggage, 3-pc. leather 15# $900

PERSONAL GEAR EQUIPMENT

OvershoesRaincoat, slicker typeShirt, dress, designerShirt, dress or sportShoes, designerSlacks, designerSlacks, dress/casualSport coat, designerSport coat, regularSuit, designerSuit, regular businessSweatshirtSweat suitTie, designerTie, regularTopcoat/trenchcoat,

all-weatherT-shirtTuxedo (formal wear),

designerWristwatch, designerWristwatch, designer,

goldWristwatch, regularWristwatch, sport/

waterproof

—1#½#½#

1-2#1#1#3#3#4#4#1#2#——

3# $100— $5

4# $850— $1,500

— $7,500— $100

—

$8$25$50$15

$225$100

$30$ 5 0 0

$75$750$200$ 1 0$ 2 0

$35$10

$250

This list is obviously not exhaustive,but it will help to stimulate participants

to go beyond the confines of the printedlists. Administrators should additionallywork up lists of other weapons (.25 Cal.,.32 Cal., 7.65mm, .38 Cal., .44 and .44mag. cals., .17 Cal., .22 mag. cal. pistols,various hunting rifles, and all other gaug-es of shotguns (including a sawed-offmodel) not shown in the rules. The spe-cial weapons table should show the costof arrows and crossbow bolts, brassknuckles, and special throwing knives.New tables need to be done for regularand special tools of many sorts and forcamping, fishing, and hunting gear.

If you are not overly ambitious, I sug-gest you fake it by compiling a good setof catalogs! (At last, the mail-order re-tailer is really providing invaluable ser-vice to adventure game hobbyists....)Gambling and liquor, and what goeswith them, always seemed to occupymuch of James Bond’s time and funds,so perhaps you might deal with them inyour campaign too. Whatever courseyou follow, fledgling agents as well asold hands should now be better personi-fied, and more of the role of the individu-al can be played in your espionage role-playing games.

AGENTS NAME

BUREAU

CODE NAME/ID #

SEX: • MALE • FEMALE

HEIGHT WEIGHT

NATIONALITY

RACE STOCK

HAIR: COLOR TYPE

COMPLEXION: C O L O R TEXTURE

EYES GLASSES? - C O N T A C T S ? RIGHT • or • LEFTHANDED

DISTINGUISHING MARKS/MANNERISMS

SOMATYPE

HOME LOCALE

BIRTHPLACE

BIRTHDATE AGE

EDUCATION: SCHOOL DEGREE

SCHOOL DEGREE

SCHOOL DEGREE

MARITAL STATUS: q SINGLE q MARRIED

q WIDOWED q DIVORCED

CHILDREN

HOBBIES/INTERESTS

FAMILY BACKGROUND

WEAPONS

62 APRIL 1982

by Glenn Rahman

In my design of The Trojan War (pub-lished in 1981 by Metagaming), I workedin a compact format, with rule and coun-ter limitations. Consequently, I electedto make the game a simulation of the lasttwo years of the Trojan War only. Be-sides mere physical limitations, therewere other good reasons to take thistack: All the ancient source books whichmight have described the battles of thefirst eight years of the war were lost inantiquity. All we have left is a summary ofthe first battle of that 10-year conflict(conventionally dated to about 1185B.C.), and the bald assertion that theplain of Troy was assaulted a number oftimes in this early period — in perhaps asfew as three battles.

The myths summarize the first years ofthe war this way: After the Greeks disco-vered they could neither take the fortress-city of Troy by storm, nor isolate andstarve it into submission, they kept onlya part of the army on watch at Troy; theremainder was sent to raid neighboringcoasts. These raids (usually led byAchilles or Ajax) were intended to pro-vide supplies for the besieging army,while destroying Troy’s allies in coastalAsia. The forays brought back consider-able booty and made the Greek chief-tains very wealthy (though in fact the

wealth was shared out unfairly, and thiscaused discontent among the lesserchieftains, especially Achilles).

By the ninth year of the war, this policyhad been carried as far as it could go.Long overseas service had reduced theGreeks’ morale, while the raids had al-ready devastated everything in reach.Worse, Greek piracy had shown thepeoples of western Asia what was instore for them if the gentle leadership ofTroy was replaced by the rapaciousdomination of Greece. The Trojans ga-thered foreign allies —Phyrigians, My-sians, Thracians and many others — un-til the Greeks could no longer afford todivide their army. The stage was set forthe big battles in front of Troy which aretold in detail by the poets Homer, Quin-tus Smyrnaeus, and others.

For the sake of this variant we shallassume (as does classical scholar Ro-bert Graves) that only a few battles werefought at Troy throughout the first eightyears. We shall use the best knowledgepreserved of the ancient myths to depictthem as scenarios for The Trojan War.

VARIANT SCENARIO #1“The Foremost Greek”When the Greek ships approached

Troy, the Trojans were on the beaches tomeet them. The Greeks were disadvan-taged in establishing a beachhead, be-

cause a prophecy warned that the firstGreek to debark would be slain after abrief but glorious fight. It was the dutyand the privilege of the greatest Greekchieftains to lead the host ashore, buteven the bravest of them hesitated atleaping to certain death. At last a boldGreek prince, Protesilaus of Thessaly,rushed ashore and was shortly thereaf-ter killed by a Trojan (most sources cred-it Hector). After Protesilaus’ charge, theother Greeks no longer feared to land.Eventually, although the Trojans wereassisted by Cycnus, one of Asia’s grea-test heroes, they were driven from thebeach and the long siege of Troy wasbegun.

Trojan Army: At this early point in thewar, the Trojans have not yet mustered alarge allied army. Therefore their armyconsists of Hector, Agenor, Aeneas, Pa-ris, Polydamas and all Trojan Class I he-roes. The Trojan player may also drawsix more Trojan heroes at random fromthe remaining force pool. Additionally,he deploys two new heroes (these coun-ters must be made for the scenario):Troilus (7-7-6, Class II) and Cycnus (9-9-6, Class Ill) and six Replacement He-roes. The Trojans have eight Chariots.

Greek Army: The Greek force consistsof all non-*, non-Replacement Heroesplus Achilles. Additionally, the Greekmay add to his force two new heroes

D R A G O N 6 3

(these counters must be made for thescenario): Protesilaus (7-7-6, Class III)and Palamedes (7-7-6, Class II). TheGreeks have no Chariots.

Gods Intervention Chits: six for eachplayer.

Set-up: The Greeks set up first (seeSpecial Rule A below). The Trojans setup on, or in any non-ship hex in front of,the Greek Sea Wall.

First Move: TrojansGame Length: eight Game-Turns.Victory: The Trojans win if they de-

stroy at least three Greek ships, or if theyearn more victory points than the Greeks.The Greeks win if they prevent the burn-ing of three ships, and earn more victorypoints than the Trojans. Any other resultis a draw.

Special rulesA: Initially, the Greek player deploys

one Greek hero per Greek ship hex.B: At the beginning of each Greek

player turn the player may, at his option,deploy additional heroes from his off-the-board supply up to, but not surpas-sing, one hero per each non-destroyed,non-enemy-occupied ship hex. The nor-mal stacking rules are in effect. Replace-ments enter normally.

C: No Greek hero may move out of aship hex into a Trojan primary zone ofcontrol. Any Greek hero may advanceafter combat into a Trojan primary zoneof control.

D: There is no Greek Sea Wall in thisscenario. Trojan Replacements enter themap oh the row of hexes which demar-cates the Greek Sea Wall, and all wound-ed, slain and other (see E below) heroesare evacuated through this area. Thehexes beyond the Greek Sea Wall are notplayable in this scenario. Greek units areevacuated on any non-destroyed shiphex.

E: In this scenario, non-killed and non-wounded heroes may be evacuated toprotect them from further harm. Suchevacuated heroes may be replaced, butthey may not re-enter the map after eva-cuation. Additionally, if a player evacu-

ates a non-killed or non-wounded hero,his opponent receives victory pointsequal to the attack strength (unmodifiedby hero class) of the evacuated hero.

F: No Greek unit may, for any reason,leave a Greek ship hex until a GreekClass III hero does so first. No GreekClass III hero may leave a hex unless hemakes a special “courage roll” with onedie. The “courage roll” result must beequal to or greater than the given numberfor each of these heroes: Odysseus 6,Agamemnon 5, ldomeneus 5, Ajax 4,Ajax the Lesser 4, Diomedes 4, Achilles4, Protesilaus 3.

In the Greek movement phase, up totwo normal Class III heroes may attemptto leave their ship hex by first makingtheir “courage roll.” For a Greek Class IIIhero to leave a ship hex via advance aftercombat, he must first make his “courageroll.” Immediately after any Greek ClassIII hero has left his ship hex by move-ment or advance after combat, all otherGreek heroes may exit ship hexes freely.

G: The first Greek hero (this will be aClass III hero) to move or advance fromhis ship hex has his defense strengthreduced to half (rounded down) for theremainder of the scenario. This heromay not be evacuated before he is slain,nor may he be assisted in any way byGod Intervention.

VARIANT SCENARIO #2“The Walls of Troy”After securing the beach, the Greek

army attempts to take the city of Troy bystorm.

Trojan Army: The same as VariantScenario #1, except Cycnus is absent.

Greek Army: The same as VariantScenario #1, except Protesilaus is absent.

Gods Intervention Chits: Six for eachplayer.

six normal Greek heroes behind the Tro-

Set-up: Trojans on or behind the Tro-jan Wall. The Greeks deploy within sixhexes of the Trojan Wall.

First Move: Greeks.Game Length: six Game-Turns.Victory: The Greeks win if they have

jan Wall at the beginning of any Greekmovement phase. The Trojans win byearning more victory points than theGreeks.

Special ruleA: There is no Greek Sea Wall.

VARIANT SCENARIO #3“Troilus Must Die”After a period of stalemate, the Greeks

receive a prophecy that Troy is not des-tined to fall should the Trojan princeTroilus live to reach the age of twenty.The Greeks lure the Trojan army out tofight and make every effort to slay Troi-lus. The Trojan hero Aeneas, meanwhile,is absent, having quarreled with KingPriam of Troy (over a prophecy that Pri-am’s family will be destroyed and Ae-neas will be king of the Trojans).

Trojan Army: Hector, Agenor, Paris,Polydamas and Troilus (7-7-6, Class II).All Class I heroes. Six replacements.Additionally draw ten more Trojan he-roes at random from the off-the-boardClass Il and III heroes. Ten Chariots.

Greek Army: Deploy all non-*, non-Replacement heroes, except for tenwhich are drawn at random (to representGreeks away on raids). Also deployAchilles and Palamedes (6-7-6, Class II).Ten Chariots.

Gods Intervention Chits: six for eachplayer.

Set-up: Trojans on or behind the Tro-jan Wall. Greeks on or behind the GreekSea Wall.

First Move: Trojans.Game Length: eight Game-Turns.Victory: The Greeks win by slaying

Troilus or earning twice as many victorypoints as the Trojans. The Trojans winby maintaining Troilus outside the Tro-jan Wall for six consecutive turns and byavoiding the Greek victory conditions.The Aggressiveness rule (14.3) is used.

Special rulesA: There is no Greek Sea Wall.

used to assist Troilus.B: No God Intervention chits may be

20% OFFALL YOUR

GAMING NEEDSTSR� games, Ral Partha,

SPI, Avalon Hill and others.

For free catalog,send stamp to:

PHANTASMAL FORCEP.O. Box D26974

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Educators! Clergymen! Psychologists!We want a piece of your mind!

TSR Hobbies, Inc., wants the opinions of professionals who work with peopleabout role-playing games, particularly the D&D® and ADVANCED D&D®games, and their effects on those who play them.

If you’re a teacher or a church leader, have you tried to use ideas fromrole-playing games in classes, lectures or sermons? As a psychologist or psy-chiatrist, have you found role-playing useful in therapy or counseling? Have youdiscovered benefits or uses of role-playing that you’d like to share?

Send letters to the Marketing Department, TSR Hobbies, Inc., P.O. Box 756,Lake Geneva WI 53147. All comments should be signed, although the identity ofa respondent will be kept confidential if so desired. Please indicate your profes-sion and your degree of involvement in role-playing games.

64 APRIL 1982

VARIANT SCENARIO #4“The Rising Tide”The Trojan alliance grows stronger,

until the Greek policy of dividing theirarmy for raiding farther and fartherabroad places those Greeks at Troy ineven greater danger. Moreover, Achilleshas lately launched an attack upon theneutral hero, Aeneas, inciting him to re-enter the war against the Greeks. TheTrojans decide that with part of theGreek army away on a piratical raid, theyare strong enough to defeat those whoremain behind, and destroy the ships atanchor.

Trojan Army: Hector, Aeneas, Agenor,Paris, Polydamas, plus all non-*, non-Replacement heroes, excepting sevenwhich are drawn out at random and notused in this scenario. Fifteen Chariots.

Greek Army: Palamedes (6-7-6, ClassII), all non-* Class Ill heroes. All non-*,non-Replacement Class I and II heroes,excepting fifteen drawn out at random.Achilles is present, unless he is leadingthe foreign raid (see Special Rule Abelow).

God Intervention Chits: six for eachplayer.

Set-up: Trojans on or behind the lineof hexes from T to T’. Greeks on or be-hind the Greek Sea Wall.

Victory: The player with the most vic-tory points wins.

Special rulesA: At various times different leaders

commanded the overseas raids. To de-termine which leader is absent in thisscenario, roll a die. On a result of 1-3,Achilles is absent; 4-5, Ajax is absent; 6,Odysseus is absent.

B: There is no Greek Sea Wall.

THE CAMPAIGN GAMEThese variant scenarios may be incor-

porated into the campaign game of TheTrojan War. The standard campaigngame rules (16.0) are in effect, as arethese additional special rules:

1) If Troilus is killed in Variant Scena-rio #2, the special rules affecting Troilusin Variant Scenario #3 are suspended. IfTroilus survives Scenario #3, he dies ofnatural causes (since if we let him livethere is no reason to continue the cam-paign game; Troy cannot fall).

2) The Greek prince Palamedes wasfalsely accused of treason by his rival,Odysseus, and put to death. Hence, un-less Odysseus is slain before the end ofScenario #4, Palamedes dies.

3) Because a longer campaign gamewill mean more heroes are eliminated

non-Replacement hero is slain, one ofthe following new heroes (for which newcounters should be made) takes his placein the next scenario of the campaign. Anew hero may only substitute for a slainhero of the same class.

Trojans: Archilochus (6-6-6, Class II);Asius (6-6-6, Class II); Hippothous (6-6-6, Class II); Odius (5-5-6, Class II); Pei-rous (5-5-6, Class II); Pyraechemes (7-6-6, Class II); Acamas (6-6-6, Class II);Phorcys (6-6-6, Class II).

Greeks: Amphimachus (6-6-6, ClassII); Arcesilaus (6-6-6, Class II); Ascala-phus (6-5-6, Class II); Diores (5-5-6,Class I); Elephenor (5-5-6, Class I); Ma-chaon (5-4-6, Class I); Medon (6-5-6,Class II); Prothoenor (5-5-6, Class II);Schedius (6-6-6, Class II); Tlepolemus(7-7-6, Class II).

4) The later battles of the war havemuch to do with Achilles. If it happensthat Achilles is slain in any of the fourearly scenarios of this variant, obviouslysome other Greek leader must feud withAgamemnon (and at whose behest Zeuspunishes the Greeks). Moreover, if Achil-les is dead, scenario 15.4 is not used.

The leader who feuds with Agamem-non in place of Achilles is the Class IIIhero Patroclus. If Patroclus is used inthis manner and survives through scena-

First Move: Trojans. due to battle casualties, it is fair to have rio 15.3, he may appear in subsequentGame Length: eight Game-Turns. good substitutes on hand. When a non-*, scenarios until eliminated by combat.

DRAGON 65

FREQUENCY: Very rareNO. APPEARING: 1ARMOR CLASS: -3MOVE: 9” when corporeal, 36” when notHIT DICE: 100+ (estimate)% IN LAIR: NilTREASURE TYPE: NilNUMBER OF ATTACKS: 0DAMAGE/ATTACK: NilSPECIAL ATTACKS: See belowSPECIAL DEFENSES: See belowMAGIC RESISTANCE: See belowINTELLIGENCE: Supra-genius, though

not known to apply themselvesALIGNMENT: Chaotic goodSIZE: S, M, or L, according to whim

(Medium size predominates)PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil

Attack/Defense Modes: Nil

66 APRIL 1982

The pooka is an invisible Celtic spiritof a dipsomaniac nature who appears,when it wishes to appear before mortaleyes, in the form of a white rabbit at leastsix feet tall and dressed in impeccablytailored human clothes.

Although this rabbit-shape is the ap-parition of choice, pookas have alsobeen reported in the form of shaggy anddisreputable-looking Shetland ponies(with or without burrs in their coats); asdrunken Irish elk; and as derby-hattedand cigar-smoking mice and/or guineapigs. It was a somewhat theatrical pookaof the Jazz Age who gave rise to drunkenstories about “pink elephants.” Anotherpooka was the source of the old “We

don’t get many kangaroos in here”/“Andat these prices you won’t get any more!”joke.

Because the pooka shows itself to onlyone person at a time (never to a group),and then only to one of good alignmentwith charisma of 16 or higher—and thenonly when the person is at least threedrinks drunk — the pooka’s existence isoften discounted as an hallucination, di-agnosed as some wild variety of deliriumtremens.

An offended pooka will vanish away ifmet with the caution and (deserved) pa-ranoia most adventurers greet new ex-periences with. When met with an openair of unsurprised acceptance — a gen-

tlemanly introduction, a “How do youdo?” and a handshake, an invitation tohave a drink —the pooka can become adrinking buddy and helpmate with nosmall amount of power.

Pookas have the ability to stop time.Putting it more precisely, the pooka canstep outside of our time sequence, gowherever it wants for as long as it wants,and then return to where it started fromwithout one minute of “real” time elaps-ing. As put by Mr. Elwood P. Dowd,whose adventures with a six-foot, one-and-a-half-inch invisible rabbit form thebasis of Mary Coyle Chase’s PulitzerPrize-winning play, Harvey: “...Einsteinhas overcome time and space. Harvey(the pooka) has overcome not only timeand space — but any objections.”

Half of all pookas encountered areable to take a friend along on these time-stopping jaunts. This is not the game-wrecking power it might at first seem tobe. No pooka, for instance, will walk anadventurer through a dungeon “ahead oftime” in unfair safety; the pooka wouldfeel its friendship was being taken ad-vantage of and vanish away, leaving theopportunist stranded in the middle ofsome horrible danger.

Pookas offer little or no help in trea-sure seeking or dungeon exploration.They seldom show themselves to fight-ers, and they can be even more frustrat-ing to magic-users and clerics, for theyseem impervious to magic spells andmagic weapons, and shed attempts tocontrol them like water off a duck’s back.

It is supposed that the pooka uses itstime-stopping ability to free itself fromour time limitations before a spell or ablow even has time to hang itself in theair, thus “dodging” or “outrunning” anyattack.

None of this is to imply that a pooka isof little use to any mortal except as adrinking companion. The pooka consid-ers itself a lover, not a fighter, and thisoutlook puts its caprices at the service ofgood-willed, fun-seeking adventurers.

Pookas, full of song and poetry whenin their cups, love to assist mortals in theconduct of a love affair (or affairs). Theywill “stop the clock” so that a friendmight slip away from a boring time for aquick romp (or a quick drink) and thenslip back again without being suspected.They are useful when slipping into abedchamber without being detected byfather, wife or husband; they are invalu-able when rescuing a harem.

A certain renowned beauty, being of anature both generous and lusty, hadthree different suitors living in three dif-ferent towns. With the aid of her friendlypooka, this lady married all three menand to this day keeps them all contentwhile she, having her cake and eating ittoo, remains youthful and ecstatic, if abit tuckered.

Some pookas are as prone to play

tricks as to help. Barber and Riches’ Dic-tionary of Fabulous Beasts describes “awild and shaggy colt hung with chainswhich haunted wild places, and misledbenighted travelers.” That book also re-ports variations on the name, amongthem phooka, and in Wales, pwca.

Pookas have not vanished from themodern world; they still show up fromtime to time, in cheerful defiance of log-ic. A woman in my own practice, a Ms.N— (who has given permission for herstory to be told here), was once visitedby a pooka in the form of a small (11inches high, or 1 foot, 2 inches with hat)bipedal guinea pig. Ms. N—was then aresident in a lonely hotel in a strangetown, and had returned to her room onenight after work and dinner to have anevening whiskey. As she sat “with aslight bun on” there was a brisk knock onthe door. In came the aforementionedguinea pig, carrying two small but bulg-ing suitcases, wearing a derby hat andsporting an Alhambra Manila Blunt ci-gar. “Hiya, kid,” it said, and ensconceditself on the bed for a period of twoweeks. Its nights were spent regaling Ms.N — with stories of ribald adventure,while its days were spent organizing arunning crap game, conducting liaisonswith at least three chambermaids, andrunning down to the lobby for morequarters to put in the “Magic Fingers”

box. This is the most recent incident ofpooka visitation this author has comeacross.

It is believed that Shakespeare knewthe pooka that used to hang out in theMermaid Tavern, and combined some ofthe habits of this “merry wanderer of thenight” — such as lover’s pranks and timewarping (“I’ll put a girdle round aboutthe earth/In forty minutes”) —with thoseof the English household spirit, RobingGoodfellow, for his Midsummer Night’sDream. This confusion may have arisenfrom the fact that the small Europeanhousehold dragons who brought trea-sure to their landlords were also calledpuks. Or maybe Shakespeare was al-ready in his cups when he was first intro-duced and never quite caught the name.

BlBLlOGRAPHYBarber, Richard, and Riches, Anne, A

Dictionary of Fabulous Beasts, Walkerand Company, New York, 1971.

Chase, Mary Coyle, Harvey, containedin the anthology Comedy Tonight! edit-ed by Mary Sherwin, Doubleday and Co.,1977, copyright 1972 by Mary Chase,acting rights through author’s agent, Ha-rold Freedman, Brandt & Brandt Dramat-ic Dept.; amateur rights controlled byDramatist’s Play Service, New York.

Shapespeare, William, A MidsummerNight’s Dream.

D RAGON 67

Reviews byBill Fawcett

Photographs byKathy O’Donnell

RAL PARTHA

Golden dragonProp: 8Det: 7Anim: 9Tech: 7Dragons are traditionally a “showcase”

item for miniatures companies, and thisone rates highly among the dozens ofdragons sculpted and cast each year. Itoffers a strong illusion of movement anda great amount of detail.

GRENADIER MODELS

Lizard MenProp: 6 Det: 6Anim: 6 Tech: 6This is one of a pair of lizard-man fig-

ures offered in one package as part ofGrenadier’s line of official AD&D™ mon-ster sculptures. Like all products in thisline, they conform very closely to thedescription of the creature in the Mon-ster Manual.

68 APRIL 1982

CASTLE CREATIONS

Red dragonProp: 7Det: 6Anim: 6Tech: 5

DragonProp: 5Det: 5Anim: 7Tech: 5

With and with-out wings, thesefigures would begood additions toa collection. Theface and scales ofeach dragon arewell detailed.

HERITAGEElementals

Prop: 6 Det: 6-7 Anim: 7 Tech: 7This quartet of figures is one of the better treatments of elementals currently available. Especially impressive

are the water (second from left) and fire (far right) creatures, because of the excellent sculpting of their basicelements. As might be expected, these figures paint up beautifully.

GRENADIER MODELS

OrcsProp: 5 Det: 6Anim: 7 Tech: 6

Everybody’s favorite enemy comes packaged insmall sets of four figures as well as a boxed setcontaining more than 10 different poses, A shaman(left) is included in the boxed set.

Dwarf King Prop: 7 Det: 7 Anim: 7 Tech: 7This set of dwarven royalty from Heritage includes a beardless queen

(top right) and a standard bearer (bottom right). All figures in the set areposed well for use in battle situations.

OFF THE TRACK

1/285 scale buildingsEach of the two sets of

these structures, one in-cluding some sculpturesof partly destroyed build-ings, are priced at about$10. They are made of aplaster-Iike (but stronger)material and need to besealed before painting.

DRAGON 69

1&2: To find how far an object will fallin a given period of time, use the formulad = 16t2, where d = distance in feet and t =time in seconds. In the AD&D™ rules, afly spell takes 3 segments, or 18 seconds,to complete. So, Malrob would fall 5,184feet before his spell takes effect, and hedoesn’t have that much room to spare.No more Malrob, right? Well, yes, but . . .because of air resistance Malrob will notaccelerate constantly and continually.Terminal velocity for a falling body isabout 125 miles per hour, or 180 feet persecond. It takes a distance of 500 feetand a time of 5.6 seconds to reach thisvelocity. Therefore, after falling 500 feetMalrob will drop at 180 feet per secondfor 12.4 more seconds. Malrob will fall atotal of 2,732 feet: the first 500 feet plus(12.4 x 180), or 2,232, more.

This leaves 268 feet to spare of theoriginal 2,500-foot height, and it appearsthat Malrob is saved — but there is oneother fact to consider. Malrob is stillmoving downward at 180 ft/sec and re-sembles a plane pulling out of a steepdive. A character using a fly spell has amovement rate of 12”, which should behalved if the flier is ascending (or at-tempting to). If the DM gives Malrob thebenefit of every doubt, by not halving hismovement rate and by interpreting it as arate of 120 yards (outdoor scale) perround, the maximum acceleration out ofhis dive is 360ft/turn, which works out to.6 ft/sec2. With this pitiful acceleration,there is no way Malrob is going to pullout of his dive. He will strike the groundless than two seconds after he starts toyell, “Fly!”

3: There may be several things wrongwith the players’ plan depending on oth-er circumstances, but the most glaringmistake, and one almost always over-looked, is the fact that a fire in an en-closed area is very dangerous. In addi-tion to the danger of their characters be-ing burned by their own fire, the playershave forgotten two other things. The firstis that a fire will rapidly deplete the oxy-gen in the cavern or dungeon, makingbreathing difficult. The second is thatany fire produces carbon monoxide(CO), a highly poisonous gas. On thesurface, in the open air, CO is unimpor-tant; underground, CO will almost cer-tainty kill every orc there, as well as all ofthe characters. Carbon monoxide is odor-less, colorless and tasteless.

4: The players should run, not walk, tothe nearest exit, for they are entering anarea containing methane, an explosivegas. Methane is odorless, colorless andtasteless. The only way to detect it is byits blue flame, such as in a gas stove.

5: In this case, a little knowledge maybe a dangerous thing. Canaries havebeen used in the past to detect carbon

Quiz

Answersmonoxide, which is not an explosive gas.Birds are much more susceptible to COthan people, so an old miner would knowenough to beat a hasty retreat when hiscanary keeled over. That works for COand other “tame” gases, but not forgases such as methane. A canary willknow there’s too much methane in theair when the players do: when it explodes.

6: The DM is half right. Water pressureincreases with depth. Water weighs about60 pounds per cubic foot, so at 1,000 feetof depth the pressure is 60,000 poundsper square foot. A normal-sized (3’ x 6’)door will have over l,000,000 pounds ofpressure on it, which means the fightersdon’t have a chance. The magic-usermight survive, though, if he can avoidbeing crushed by the rush of water. TheGuinness Book of World Records saysthat divers have worked as deep as 1,400feet (“free swimming for short intervals”).Whether a water breathing spell will pro-vide protection from “the bends” is amatter of rules interpretation.

7: An average rock weighs about 150pounds per cubic foot. A round rock 2feet across has a volume of a little morethan 4 cubic feet (V=4/3 pir3). This rockweighs over 600 pounds, and Ragnor willsoon be wearing a girdle.

8 & 9: A manila rope ½” in diameterand 50’ long weighs less than 4 poundsand will hold more than 2,500 poundsbefore breaking.

10: A roof that has caved in is actuallysafer than one that has not, in manycases. This is because loose rock hasalready fallen away, and also becausethe roof tends to form a natural archwhen it caves in.

11: The dwarf is probably an old min-er; as are most dwarves. Rock that isloose and ready to fall will sound hollowwhen struck sharply and will also vibrateslightly. This is not easy to detect, soonly give this ability to a character whohas had experience in mines.

12: Once again, the dwarf is correct.Wooden posts will not fail without a

Questionsbegin onpage 33

great deal of popping and cracking. Thiswill almost always give enough warningto beat a hasty retreat.

13: According to the Guinness Bookof World Records, the official distancerecord for a long jump by a horse andrider is just over 27 feet, so the horsewould have to be pretty great to evenhave a shot at it. A paladin’s mountwould have the best chance, but thosesteeds are generally intelligent and prob-ably would not try such a stupid stunt. Besure to take into account extra weight,such as plate armor or gold, that is beingcarried.

14: A 12” x 6” x 6” chest contains 432cubic inches. Stacked coins fill about75% of this space, or 324 cubic inches.Gold weighs 1,200 pounds per cubicfoot, so the coins alone weigh 225pounds. The thief will have to leave somegold behind.

15: A man uses about 1 cubic yard, or25 cubic feet, of air each hour undernormal conditions. The room is 1,000cubic feet in volume, containing enoughair for 40 hours of normal breathing. Af-ter this much time, the oxygen is deplet-ed to the point where the character isunconscious. The character would re-main unconscious for as much as anoth-er 40 hours, depending on his constitu-tion. Therefore, after 48 hours the char-acter will be unconscious but definitelyalive. Physical activity, even of a mildsort, can increase oxygen intake up to 12times over the normal rate.

16: The world’s record in the javelin is“only” 317 feet, 4 inches, so Olaf’s spearwill very likely fall short even if he has astrength of 18, because he can’t take arunning start like a javelin thrower.

17: The world’s record for treadingwater is a little more than 72 hours; this isonly a bit more than 12 rolls’ worth oftime, and what are the chances of a shipcoming near enough for crew membersto spot Olaf in the water? One in 20? Onein 100? One in 1,000? Go ahead and giveOlaf a “lucky” 13th roll anyway, and besure to mention what a nice guy you arejust before that last roll.

DRAGON 71

by John Lees

There is nothing confusing about thepurpose of character alignment in theADVANCED D&D® game: to motivateand guide the actions of a character. Butproblems occur when a player tries toactually use the alignment of a characterto help determine the character’s ac-tions. “Hmmm. Zarko is of alignment x;so what the heck does that mean in thissituation?” The terse paragraphs in thePlayers Handbook and the slightly longerexplanations in the Dungeon MastersGuide describe nine distinctly differentalignments in broad terms, but overalloffer few details which players and theircharacters can apply directly in situa-tions where alignment should, or could,determine a character’s course of action.

Axiology, the study of moral and ethi-cal philosophy, is a complicated andconfusing pursuit even in the real world.Moral philosophy is particularly slippery,because the subject matter concerns be-liefs, which don’t “exist” in the same waythat trees or chairs exist. If I say, “I be-lieve that thing there is a chair,” you canattempt to convince me that it is reallyonly a packing crate by asking the opin-ions of other people, showing me a pic-ture of a chair in a catalogue, and soforth. The chair is an object in the worldof sensory perception, and can be objec-tively, straightforwardly discussed bymany people.

72 APRIL 1982

On the other hand, if I say, “I believeGod is a cruel and just god,” you’re up acreek if you don’t agree with me. Youcan’t even find a roomful of people (ex-cept possibly in a church) who all havethe same definition of “god.” You can’tshow me a picture of a god in a cata-logue. Even if you show me the DEITIES& DEMIGODS™ book and I point to a goddescription and say, “There. I believe inthat one,” you cannot be certain thatwhat I think in my mind about that god iswhat you think in your mind about thatgod. And discussing what a third person“really believes” is pure folly. A belief isnot an object in the world of sensoryperception. (Beliefs include ideas, feel-ings, and emotions; all those fun thingsthat make bull sessions tend to be full ofbull.)

A belief system is difficult to formalize.Even more difficult is the task of convinc-ing someone else of the truth and validityof your belief system. A belief systemcannot be objectively challenged. If Ifirmly believe that the world is carried onthe back of a giant snail and is beingslowly buried in metaphysical slime,there really isn’t anything you can do tochange my mind, short of running methrough with a sword. (Note: Philoso-phers frown on such crass forms ofdiscourse.)

Any time you deal with systems of be-lief, you are treading on treacherousground. But treacherous ground can be

fun, so let’s have a go at defining aframework for belief systems in theAD&D™ game. Our major goal is twofold:Make character alignment clearer andmore usable, and don’t make any sub-stantial changes in the AD&D system.

First off, let’s define a few terms (oth-erwise, you won’t believe this is a philo-sophical discussion). Three of the slip-periest terms around are morality, ethics,and laws, followed closely on the slip-periness scale by good and evil.

An ethic is a set of general-purposeguidelines intended to help you decidehow to act in a wide range of situations.Some familiar ethics are the physician’sHippocratic Oath, the Golden Rule, andthe Ten Commandments. Ethics are us-ually very short on particular details andrequire some interpretation on the partof the person trying to follow the ethic.Hence the need for priests, clerics,judges and the like, to smooth the wayfor people who don’t have time to dwelloverlong on such problems.

An ethic is a guide to right action, but itis not an explanation of why those ac-tions are right. The Golden Rule, “Dounto others as you would have them dounto you,” is a prescription for how toact, but says nothing about why youshould act in such a way. Philosophershave devoted thousands of pages of ar-gument to attempting to prove that aprescription as simple as the GoldenRule is the best guide to right action.

A morality is a belief system that leadsto the formation of a particular ethic, ortries to justify an existing ethic. To alarge extent, the Bible is an attempt toexplain the belief system that gives riseto Christian ethics such as the TenCommandments. Much of the past threethousand years of philosophy has beendevoted, without success, to attemptingto find or create some form of universalmorality that is obviously implied by thephysical structure of the universe, or atleast one a reasonable person could beconvinced of the existence of, purelythrough intellectual argument.

A law is not a moral statement, be-cause a law does not provide reason orjustification for itself. A law is not neces-sarily an ethical statement, because theremay be no formal reason or justificationfor the law. Often, laws are an attempt tospell out an ethic to a ridiculous, bu-reaucratic extreme. As such, laws oftenmaintain only a tenuous connection withthe inspiring moral system (especiallysince the lawmakers may not all agreewith that moral system), and laws havelittle of the flexibility that allow moregenerally stated ethics to remain viablefor centuries.

Laws derived from no obvious moral-ity and not part of a consistent ethic areoften perceived to be senseless and stu-pid, and are rather difficult to enforce.Often the situation degenerates to “mightmakes right”; the state versus the indi-vidual. Experiments through the centur-ies with various legal systems haveshown that laws are a royal pain to ev-eryone except lawyers and judges.

The terms ethics, morality and law areneutral in connotation. Our culture tendsto link all three terms with “good,” butthere is no basis for this. A high priestwho rips out the hearts of animals andoffers them as tributes to his deity is justas moral, ethical, and lawful as a South-ern Baptist minister leading a revival. Amorality cannot be inherently “good” or“evil,” since it is the morality itself thatdefines good and evil. Only from theviewpoint of. some other morality can a

particular morality be good or evil. A“moral person” is not a “good person” inany universally absolute sense. You canhave a room full of people such that eachperson believes him or herself to begood and everyone else to be evil.

So what does all this have to do withcharacter alignment? Quite a lot. Thegood-neutral-evil continuum is essential-ly a moral one, and determines what kindof ethic will guide a character’s actions.You can think of this as motivation, if youwish.

There is a very general overridingmoral structure to the AD&D universe.As stated in the Dungeon Masters Guide,a character of good alignment will gen-erally uphold another character’s rightto life, liberty, and the pursuit of happi-ness; an evil character doesn’t believethat other characters have rights; and acharacter of neutral alignment (with re-spect to good and evil) doesn’t becomeinvolved with such considerations. Onceyour group has decided in what kind ofworld it is adventuring, the DM shoulddecide on the prevailing moralities or re-ligions. Keep firmly in mind that good-neutral-evil alignment will mean slightlydifferent things, depending on which be-liefs or gods a character follows. TheDEITIES & DEMIGODS Cyclopedia canbe of considerable help here.

The lawful-neutral-chaotic continuumis slightly more complicated. A charac-ter’s place on this continuum determineshow he or she interacts with other char-acters, how readily he or she forms al-liances, joins groups, obeys laws, andrespects order — in contrast to the good-neutral-evil continuum determining acharacter’s motivations and reasons foracting. A character’s lawful-neutral-cha-otic alignment comes close to what iscommonly meant by personality.

The rules of the AD&D game concern-ing character alignment are an attemptto formalize something that has defiedformalization through centuries of stud-ies in moral philosophy. This is a goodplace to reiterate that the AD&D game isa game, and its rules are quite insuffi-

cient for real life. This article is trying togive you a better feel for how to play thegame, not how to live your life!

A character of lawful alignment putsgreat importance on order and rules, andis usually a member in good standing ofsome group. (This group may not bevery large: a band of adventurers or athieves’ guild.) To the lawful character,the group is more important than the in-dividual and the decisions of the grouptake precedence over individual desires.A lawful character will actively advocatelaw and order and will attempt to con-vince other characters to follow the ten-ets of the group. A lawful character is agood follower.

The character aligned neutrally withrespect to law and chaos might be moreproperly called “independent” ratherthan “neutral.” The independent, or“inner directed,” character may observelaws when necessary, but will certainlynot be an advocate of the desires of anyparticular group. (This is not to say thatthe independent character cannot be anadvocate of the teachings of a particularmorality; but if so, it is because the char-acter believes strongly in the morality,not because the morality has the supportof some group.) Although the indepen-dent character will join a group in order toachieve a particular end, he or she willalways attempt to avoid situations whichplace constraints on her freedom of ac-tion. The independent character doesnot make a very reliable follower.

The chaotic character does not payattention to laws and does not desireorder. A chaotic character will not join agroup (agree to abide by the rules of thegroup), but may possibly be found in agroup if the group just happens to begoing in the same direction, or if a groupis necessary to achieving some very lim-ited end. Example: If a chaotic charac-ter needs to travel through a dangerousforest, and a group of armed adventurersalso needs to travel through the forest,the chaotic character will likely go alongwith the group (if the group will toleratehim or her), but that does not mean the

D RAGON 73

chaotic character has “joined” the groupin the same sense that a lawful fighterjoins the group. In such a group, thechaotic character will be an obvious mis-fit. The chaotic character makes a lousyfollower.

Once again it must be stressed thatlaw and order have no direct correlationwith good and evil. A thoroughly rotten,nasty, evil character can still be a loyal,obedient member of a group. A champ-ion of creature rights and all that is goodmay not get along with anyone and mayactively avoid group membership.

Now let’s go through the nine align-ment combinations and show how thisapproach at defining them makes themclearer:

Lawful good: Respects law and orderand is willing to suffer limitations on in-dividual freedom for the benefit of thegroup. Puts moral principles before ma-terial considerations. The lawful goodcharacter will be a very faithful memberof the group, but if the laws of the groupclash with the ethics dictated by his orher moral alignment, the character willprobably leave that group and look for agroup more closely aligned with his orher ethics. The lawful good character isan active advocate of his or her beliefs.

Lawful neutral: Respects the laws andcustoms of the group, but does not ne-cessarily consider creature rights to bethe highest good. Because the lawfulneutral character is not too concernedwith questions of morality, he or she willbe a more faithful group member and amore loyal follower of his or her align-ment than any differently aligned char-acter. The lawful neutral character is anadvocate of law and order.

Lawful evil: Respects the laws of thegroup, as long as those laws do not clashwith his or her evil moral alignment. Thisis not quite as much of a problem as it isfor the lawful good character, since “evil”is not as well defined as “good.” Thelawful evil character is an active “advo-cate” of evil, although not in quite thesame sense that a lawful good characteris an advocate of good. In the AD&Dstructure, “evil” is most easily defined as“anti-good,” so a lawful evil character’sadvocacy of evil takes the form of oppos-ing good at every opportunity.

Neutral (independent) good: Oftengoes along with the laws and desires ofthe group as being the easiest course ofaction, but ethical considerations clearlyhave top priority. May pursue quite ab-stract goals. Often aloof and difficult tounderstand.

Neutral (independent) neutral (trueneutral): Not actively for or against any-thing. Uses whatever means are neces-sary to maintain a situation to his or herbenefit. Has his or her own reasons fordoing everything. Usually difficult tounderstand.

Neutral (independent) evil: Puts self-

74 APRIL 1982

interest before all else. Will only cooper-ate when material rewards are high. Un-trustworthy; has contempt or fear for allothers.

Chaotic good: Unwilling to be gov-erned by the laws and desires of anygroup. Interacts with other characterson a one-to-one basis and, within suchbounds, follows the good ethic of up-holding creature rights. The stereotypi-cal chaotic good character is the whiteknight who refuses to join any group andgoes about on his own, doing good.

Chaotic neutral: The almost totallyunpredictable non-conformist loner. Willstand by and watch the white knight bat-tle the black knight without feeling com-pelled to take sides.

Chaotic evil: Actively opposes law,order, good, and all other sissy con-straints on doing whatever he or shefeels like doing. The stereotypical chao-tic evil character is the black knight,roaming around on his own, looking forsomething nasty to do.

Of course, there are gradations be-tween alignments. Few characters arelikely to be pure: A character of predom-inantly neutral moral alignment may leantoward good, for instance. Also, charac-ter alignment is not an absolute prescrip-tion for the actions of a character, anymore than “being a good Christian”completely describes the actions of a

real person. There will be lapses in be-havior that might be more proper of adifferent alignment, ill-considered ac-tions in the heat of emotion, actions in-fluenced by some very charismatic char-acter of a different alignment, etc. But ifthere occur many and frequent devia-tions from actions appropriate to a char-acter’s stated alignment, the DM willprobably (and properly) declare thecharacter’s alignment to have changed.

It is an unstated assumption that mostcharacters act in their own self-interestto some degree; i.e., are not suicidal. Alawful good character may sacrifice one-self for the greater good, but will not doso lightly. A chaotic character will coop-erate enough to aid that individual’sgoals and protect his or her own hide.

The Character Alignment Graph in thePlayers Handbook continues to makesense with these clarified definitions. Itis even easier to understand how a lawfulevil character tends toward the diabolic,a chaotic evil character toward the de-monaic, a lawful good character towardthe saintly, and a chaotic good charactertoward the beatific. Also, the outer planescontinue to bear a meaningful relation tocharacter alignment. This slightly differ-ent approach to alignments clarifies thedistinctions between them while not sig-nificantly changing the way in which theAD&D game is played.

DRAGON 75

Don’t take Spawn of Fashan seriouslyReviewed by Lawrence Schick

When the editor of this magazine askedme to review The Spawn of Fashan, myfirst impression was of one more medio-cre rewrite of the D&D® rules. Boy, was Iwrong. Spawn is much more than that—and much less.

As I read the 96-page rulebook (listprice $8.95), my initial boredom wasgradually replaced by confusion, amaze-ment, and finally delight. At first glance,the rules seem badly organized and poor-ly written. The opening sections are de-luged with pages of ill-defined jargonand numerous confusing references totables apparently placed elsewhere. Bythe time I reached the rules quagmireentitled “Combat,” I could only wonderin amazement that any set of rules couldbe this bad.

Then the light started to dawn. Plow-ing through the monstrous Tables andCharts section, I began to grin, and bythe end of the book, I was laughingloudly.

The Spawn of Fashan is a great parodyof role-playing rules! The publisher (TheGames of Fashan, of Norman, Okla.)doesn’t miss a trick. All the classic role-playing errors are included in this book-let. First, Spawn uses the time-hallowedmethod of. organizing the rules so no-thing can be found without five minutesof page-flipping. Table of Contents? In-dex? Who needs ‘em? The text of Spawnis written with the disdain for grammarand spelling we’ve come to know andlove from other rules and scenarios,(Samples: “revoltion“ is the state of be-ing revolted; “radiated” takes the placeof “radioactive.”) Even the typeface usedis hard to read.

The rules themselves are just plainamazing: a nearly impenetrable jungle ofmodifiers, special cases, tertiary statis-tics, and references to references. Butdon’t despair; hidden deep in this jungleis a treasure of fun for the whole family!

Let’s start with character generation.The basic statistics are much like thosefound in the D&D rules, with a few extrasthrown in for good measure. Unfortu-nately, these are just the basis for severaldozen other numbers. In the introduc-tion, we are informed that characters inmost role-playing systems are uniformand suffer from a lack of individuality. Tocounter this, the Spawn rules invest yourcharacter with a wealth of amusing de-tail. Nobody wants to know this muchabout your character, not even you. Justlook at the character sheet: over 50 sta-tistics that must be filled in! The Spawnof Fashan character generation is a gamein itself, and would even boggle theminds of veteran Universe and After-

76 APRIL 1982

math! players.Women should note the introduction,

which states that The Spawn of Fashanis not sexist. But inside we find thatstrength, constitution and hit point rollsare always halved for the fairer sex, whilecharisma is always 150% of normal.

After rolling basic statistics comes thereally fun part of character generation:the Body Roll Charts. To give your char-acter that extra individuality lacking inother games, you must roll on the eye-sight, smell, hearing, taste and bodyform tables, and maybe even a few moreif you fail some saving rolls. These tablescan give your character some abilitiesthat are rather unusual, especially con-sidering this game claims “realism”among its assets. Wouldn’t you like tohave some of these traits from the sensetables?

“Periscoping vision. Charactercan see around corners...” Usingeyestalks, maybe?

“Microscopic vision.” From theeyesight table. You can also getmicroscopic smell and microscop-ic taste.

“Independent eye movement.” Iwouldn’t have a character withoutit.

“High sound good hearing.” No,it’s not what you think. This abilityenables you to hear flying thingsmore clearly.

“Tell what has visited the water.”From the sense of taste table. Aneat trick.

“No taste.” Ahem.Then there’s the body form table,

where you have a full 3% chance of beinga club foot. You could also be a wea-thered individual (?), attuned to insects,bald, a hunchback, or have acne, amongother things. Don’t even ask me aboutenlarged part of the body. Just be glad

you probably don’t have to roll on themental illness table, the phobia table, orthe compulsion table.

Using these tables, I rolled up a near-sighted, allergic eunuch who can hearspirits and tell good food from spoiled,but who has an extreme compulsion todig whenever there’s a chance. This sec-tion alone is worth $8.95 as a party game!

Let’s not bother with figuring our char-acter’s serious injury tolerance levels,senses in the mountains, and 23 othercharacter traits and go right on to com-bat, the meat of every role-playing rulessystem. Once again The Spawn comesthrough brilliantly, providing a classiccase of rules overkill. In a perfect parodyof many role-playing rules, Spawn hasan extremely detailed, “realistic” combatsystem —written with absolutely no re-gard for playability.

Combat is broken down into individualswings of weapons, each swipe of whichmay take a player as many as 14 differentactions to complete. Detail piles upondetail as the ‘players roll dice, checkcharts and compare, add and subtractnumbers ad infinitum, while rattling offsuch marvelous phrases as “reflex hitmodifier,” “attack number,” “skin/dam-age ratio,” “basic combat number” and“cling-to-life roll.” Sound like fun? Don’task me; I couldn’t even figure out thearmor class system!

Most games give you a ready-madefantasy world to play in, and Spawn ofFashan is naturally no exception. Herewe have the land of Boosboodle in theworld of Fashan, a land plagued by thedreaded Dumb Name Syndrome. Whereelse can you sail up The River Mazoo,visit the towns of Jugble and Crumbudz,and go “North, where Melvin is StandingNow.” Hey, that’s on the map, honest!Would I lie?

The monsters are also a million laughs,

especially their names. Another partygame: try to read the monster list aloudand keep a straight face. Ready? Bartaln,Filcornect, Larnex, Bull Makl, Cronalk,Transgrusan, Bactrolo, Rolmtrokl, Lor-senfolo, Purtorfalm, Arl-Grats — wait,I’m just getting started! There are overtwo dozen monsters listed in the rules,but only seven of them are explained anddescribed. Maybe that’s for the best...

Like all proper role-playing games,Spawn includes an example of play tohelp the referee and players figure outhow a game is supposed to go. If theauthor of Spawn runs his games like thereferee in the example, it certainly ex-

plains a lot about how these rules cameto be the way they are. Most games havea totally bogus description of a thrillingadventure filled with action and split-second decisions as the excited playerscombat the forces of evil. Refreshingly,Spawn doesn’t bother to pretend thatanybody actually has fun while playingit. They dare to reveal role-playing forthe dreadful chore it can become. Thewatchword here is boredom, as Bundythe thief goes to a general store and triesto buy various items that are out of stock.Frustrated, he finally purchases a metalchest and proceeds to beat the shop-keeper to death with it. The narration

(From page 4)you that despite its flaws the AD&D game isthe best role-playing game ever.

Harvey FoxMontreal, Quebec

Circe and the poltergeist is the oft-repeated(by us) fact that DRAGON™ Magazine is not a“hand” of the TSR “body.” We are part of thesame company as the people who create andproduce the official AD&D supplements (likethe FIEND FOLIO™ Tome) and accessories(like the DEITIES & DEMIGODS™ Cyclope-dia), but the preparation and production ofDRAGON Magazine is independent of therest of the company’s operations. To make allthe AD&D™ articles in the magazine conformto what is already set down in the rules woulddefeat its purpose: We publish a lot of var-iants, some of which represent drastic devia-tions from the official rules.

Think of “Circe No. 2” and the “type B”poltergeist as variants, if that makes themmore palatable. Our version of Circe (writtenby Katharine Kerr) obviously isn’t supposed

The biggest reason for the “duplication” of to be interchangeable with the Circe of the

makes it obvious that both the sarcasticreferee and the stupid player are justbasically annoyed by the whole episode.(For those of you still interested in partygames, a dramatic reading of this sec-tion had ‘em rolling on the floor.)

The Spawn of Fashan is a gold mine ofhumor for the discerning gaming fan,and should be required reading for allprospective role-playing game design-ers. I anxiously await the upcoming 1982Games of Fashan releases announced inthe back of the book, including suchgames as Deadlock, City Council, andBunga! Bunga! Bunga!

Would I lie?

DDG book, but she would certainly make aninteresting NPC encounter all by herself in acampaign that wasn’t using the entire Greekmythos. By the authors’ admission, many ofthe entries in the DDG book are interpreta-tions culled from a number of sources whichdon’t necessarily agree with one another. Ev-idently, Katharine’s sources differed fromthose used by Messrs. Ward and Kuntz. Thatdoesn’t make her Circe any less authentic.

The poltergeist is sort of a special case. Weaccepted Craig Stenseth’s article more than ayear ago, many months before our first look atthe FIEND FOLIO book. The fact that thebook contained a poltergeist didn’t mean thatCraig’s monster suddenly became unusable.If the name confuses you, simply change it.But if you can accept the existence of twokinds of poltergeists (and why not?), youshouldn’t have any problems at all. —KM.

D R A G O N 7 7

D R A G O N 7 9

80 APRIL 1982

Order of playAssign sides

Roll for Boodle starting valleySelect forces

Grumjug player deploys force

Boodle turnMove Boodle pieces

Boodle fighters attackBoodlewizes cast spells

Grumjug turnGrumjug reinforcements arrive

Move Grumjug piecesGrumjugs attack

Scenarionumber1234

Scenario cost limitsBoodle Grumjug

limit limit35 3647 4859 6071 72

Counter summaryVictory

Type Cost Hits on pointsBoodle 1 — 1Boodle fighter 4 1-3 1Boodlewiz 6 1-3 (spell) 1Boodle Queen 0 — 4Boodleblaster 4 — 0

Grumjug 3 1-3 (fighters) —1-5 (others)

Grumking 0 — —Grumbuggy 3 — —Grumbomb 3 — —

Translation TableDRAGON™ version Original versionBoodle BoodleBoodle fighter BoodlinoBoodleblaster BombastaboodleBoodle Queen BoodlettahGrumjug GrumjugGrumbuggy GrumjigGrumbomb GrumwompGrumking Hah-Grumjug