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Love, Loathe And Learn Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook
a real story
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First I loved Facebook
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I reveled in the attention,
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and was engrossed in the gossips.
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I used to enjoy seeing what others did or posting what I did,
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You may call it stalking
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or may be the love of self.
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Yes, I loved my BIG ego.
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I could say many things that I couldn’t say on their face and
yet go scot free…
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I was ‘connected’ without really needing to meet or waste time.
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I loved those surreal experiences and
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was thrilled with my second world
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I admired my own posts to no end,
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and cherished the persona that I created for myself
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Subtly but surely, Facebook became THE only reality.
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I was addicted, and I would not admit.
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My Facebook image larger than the real me and those shoes
hard to fill
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In real world and when I met real people, a false sense of familiarity overpowered the
distance
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Now, I started loathing myself
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I saw that people’s opinions about ‘me’ was not about me
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I imagined that they saw ‘me’ as a time waster
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Even though I compromised 4+ hours of sleep each day
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They saw ‘me’ as jobless jack, or so I assumed.
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They were probably calling me an egotist,
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And I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with such
notions
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I was getting distant with myself, unable to accept that
reality
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Many a time, I saw them as intruding into my private life
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At other times, I suspected that they were nonchalant
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I felt terrible when people did not ‘like’ my banal posts
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I felt let down just because 299 ‘friends’ wished on birthday.
(I have all of 943 friends)
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I started disliking their views and vice versa
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I started reading too much into what they were posting
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I made foes out of friends more because
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I suspected that they knew me more than they should about
me.
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I started getting confused with my innate introversion and
supposed exuberant extroversion.
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There were conflicts with ‘me’ and me
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My many roles merged into one completely and a confused
personality for all to see
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I experienced incompleteness as everybody seemed to be
doing awesome while my life seemed awful
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Dreadful, hideous, repulsive, vile and upsetting to say the
least
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When I have nothing to write that day, I felt melancholic
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No ‘like’ in 4 hours was a misery, just as the wait for the next like or next comment was
excruciating
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Sleepless nights and sleeping pills wouldn't work
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I snapped, slapped myself awake
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And took a short Facebook Sabbath. I deactivated
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And deleted the app from my phone and the iPad.
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I started running sea ward and ran long distances, alone
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Meditated by the beach, Rollerbladed on sidewalks
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Prayed and started to discover the new ‘me’
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That was in sync with me
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And hence learned a few lessons
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Facebook in itself was not bad. It was my own addiction
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It was not how others saw me. It was how I thought they saw me.
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They did not ignore me. They had placed importance to
themselves.
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Not that they didn’t ‘like’ me, they just took care of themselves.
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The real world, real people were intact with their pristine goodness.
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There still existed real meetings, real friends.
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Online did not erase off-line identity. They coexisted.
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There was a lot to learn and a lot more to unlearn.
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So this is what I did
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I slashed my friends’ list. All those not regularly adding value or making make
me laugh had to go - unfollow or hidden.
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I set a max limits on people. Less people, less content, less gossip, more time
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I found a good reader app I use Flipboard to consolidate news and browse
once a day for just 20 min.
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I time boxed my online presence. I check Facebook only during breakfast, taxis or if I am
waiting for some one.
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I minimized the number devices Now my devices now serve specific functions
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I deleted my phone app Just the way we remove junk food from the fridge
to stick to a diet.
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I turned to reliable content sources I followed useful content from professionals only on
twitter, LinkedIn and tech blogs.
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I use apps like Klout and Buffer to schedule sharing
and wolfram alpha , retweet lab tell me on the good times to post.
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The results are telling
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I’ve found myself refreshed, focused, and energetic.
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I re-discovered the beauty of the world beyond inbox,
newsfeeds and comments.
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I was easy to love and loathe, it was arduous to step back,
breathe in and to look at one self in the mirror.
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And the journey continues… #LifeIsOn #FullVolume
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Love, Loathe And Learn Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook
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By a President aspirant, amateur author, doting dad, experimental entrepreneur, passionate photographer, social media evangelist, tireless
traveler, happenstance humanoid - Rajesh Soundararajan | @rajeshsound