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Motherhood, like all great topics for a novel, can overwhelm. Its a
massive subject with many aspects; how to even approach it? JenniferGilmore jumps in, beautifully, in e Mothers, which explores the deepand plangent desire for a child.
MEG WOLITZER, author ofe Interestingsand e Ten-Year Nap
I couldnt stop reading it--it had the harrowing qualities of a psycho-logical thriller, the comedy of a familiar Jewish family, and was alter-
nately hysterically funny and heartbreaking. It is down to the bonestripped-bare honest.
A.M. HOMES, author ofMay We Be Forgiven
A searing examination of the very human desire to be that seeminglysimple thing: a mother. Jennifer Gilmore explores the emotional depthand breadth of mothering with raw honesty and her signature grace.
ANN HOOD, author ofe Red readand e Knitting Circle
With a deft touch, lacerating humor, and a gaze at once steely andtenderhearted, Jennifer Gilmore takes us deep into the experience of
maternal desire. is is a thoughtful, emotionally resonant and intimate
novel. DANI SHAPIRO, author ofDevotion and Slow Motion
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1
november 2009
W w hadd th Vaza bdg, caught tac. it
wa va wk Thakgvg, whch i
cau th wa a av ad hagg a cugck udg th hghwa sut Pak. it dpctd a -
u cat tuk tadg, ath uud, a dg
ta, a a x atd aud t.
Thugh w w w t a, th hat ad ga th ca
up wav; kg ut t cud hav a u da,
xcpt th t g th ck th hghwa, th ach
achg up, k ppg thugh tt caw. ra hadw tght th tg wh. Ad Hat, wt Hat, at
hd , patg a.
H. i achd ack t ca h. stt dw, dag.
W w dppg h at h avt pac ath:
pat hu nth Vga wh h at cap ga-
d v ad td, tchd t a th aw,
ad wh at ght ath cad h, cud h a, up ad
dw th ta.
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J e n n i f e r G i l m o r e
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W w avg Hat ad hadg dw uth, t nth
Caa, a tag at a ata adpt agc.
ra had wt wht, th axd, th c tugt th, a pgt w g pud t th cag h
k.
W t a hu. i cad ck t ahad.
n, h ad.
W ca jut gt th whv.
That t a tu. i a, w d t ragh x.
Wv gt pt t, i ad.
ra kd at ad aughd. W dt actua. Ad c
wh dd u c agg?
i a wg t , i td h, ut d? i dd th ath k i
awa dd th ath, thugh i a t a ath p: it 7:30 a.m.
i w gt t Vga , ad ta t ut, w .
oth ath: i i hav a a ght th ut, i w vt-xwh th chd ag w. but i a t pgat, i hav t
add th ad chag th quat: i gt pgat ght
th ut. but cu, i t gttg pgat. Whch wh
w takg th tp th t pac.
u hu ad t ut at avg bk, w pud up t pat hu, c h, ut w h
a uth-f wak-up bk. nt th t t, i azd
that th wp th c ad ad th wa th h at th t
d aud ack t a t pat wth wught ta ad
cuhd cha, a acu fakg th hu gd azaa
ad hdaga uh ad, akg th d th ppt, a ag
wdp t d th pac wt, w a t va. i aw
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T h e M o T h e r s
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a a chd ug th pk ut ack, a aw acg
th t. i aw luc tg t catch hd ad i hdd
th .Wh had i tppd dpaagg pat wa ad had
tad gu t cvt t?
ra pakd th tt, avg ugh th
t z ut th gaag, a h t dd, wthut httg u ca.
mada Hat tk th quckt p h udd
up th aw t th t d ad at, ta waggg, watg
th t t h . i ad ut th d, u ght thck
wth ghtg ug. Wt, tag w th tad u
m bt. Th t wht ght th ktch.
H! Th d wug p. Hat ad up h ack
g, quag ad tg. Ad th h wa:
Th mth.
H, m. i td th hawa.H, h.
Ja! ra acd h.
yu tw wat uch u gt ack th ad?
th akd.
Quck, i ad.
Thak u uch takg Hat. ra hadd v
th ah.A u kddg? W v watchg h. sh u gaddg!
i athd hap at th, a w ddt hav a gadkd t
up, ut a dg. luc, th a ug, wa tachg
suth Aca. o h wa ug th ad udg hut? o
cua dvg? Whatv h wa dg, th ddt t a
dp ctt t a h pat. shd vd awa v
v a w, ad i hadt h a th.
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luc ad i had had ag-ut t pak , agut that
had dvdd u, ad t w a cucatd w; w had t
pk ag wh w caught ach th th ph at wk.J? i had had d quawkg th ackgud; had
th a th ud th ca?
luc! i cd hag h vc. Hw a u? Wh a
u?
Paaa? h ad. Wth a d.
A pat cad spah, Dnde est la carne de res?
lat t wd pk, t had Cta rca. nw,
Paaa, h wa dg t cut utach wth
a aa ug ad akg jw wth dad ug th.
A th hd td wth a gh xhaut, a hd acqud
vt cpa tavd t th ; ad h wa a
hpg th d p a ca pcazg Gk d. Ad h
wa ug, t, whch wa wh h had ga add Ctarca. sh had c a u, t, luc.
A h pk i ad a t t v d hpthtca chd
t cg Caa.
m t ad i kw tt aut ach th w. Th at
t wd takd i td h i wa aut t ak a t-
t tatt. i hadt wd up t t h t wa uuccu,
ad h hadt cad t d ut. sh wa , ut th, -wh; t wa had t x a actua ag h that hd t, that
wat t.
m th, hwv, wa h , a ackdp
i kw w, ut h t had c ucgza. m wh
, hd wkd, tavg th at a t. it wa u hu-
kp, Caud, wh ad u da. sh kpt h t wat
tud h a ad w a A wg ak, gag
ack ha that h wud tak wh h wa th hu, va-
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g that h had wa ad pat, th ag ha taghtd,
gad wth pad, ad pd ack.
Jut ut, t ak u a adwch th ad, th ad, a h had dg uch ad k ad
ck v da .
Ad c, i cad at h, ag h ataad
that h had awa h jut t v .
What a th? i hav akd th t. A ra ad
i haud ack t th ca, wavg gd- t th ad
Hat, wh ddt gv a ck that w w avg, i thught aut
w th ava, h upackg, luc ad i atcpatg
u gt. W at c-ggd h d watchg h v h
tav kt ad h pct dd gat a w watd u
packag t g th dpth h utca, whch d a, cag ut, ud kt. sh wud
th tu t ac u. That wa ack wh th t h g
ut t th u wthut th uc that cud ptct h
a uca xp, ad h ac wa va had dak, h
ad chk pkd wth th ck i hav htd.
Wh, i wdd th, wa th dvpg wd, wh i kw
th wt, awa th u?Th gt w ga ad vau: a wv akt,
gu, wd apk hd cavd t phat ad ga,
a cth vp ctag th ca ad. o patcua t,
h hadd a a packag dd a wkd, wax w
pap ag ad wappd h g paat kt. id
w va cpp act.
Th ptt, id td th. but tuth i ddt k
th. What i a watd wa a dagg ta hat updd
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a gd cha, ttd t d, k Ad Gvg
att w. i ddt wat what wa pucha a akt-
pac Aca.nw i wd hw h cud hav t u g, what that
wa k h.
b, i d, watchg th ad Hat th t
ad, h wavg a w pud awa.
ra ad i t ita wh i wa tavg th a. id
wkg dtata a pt wa gd ad
gata ptc ctpa itawhch ad t
cv gat th vt. i hadt kw wh i pad
th tp hw axu id wh tavg a, cug ht,
acqug pp cuc. o ght ta, ag Gp, i w
papt tapd t hat.i hav t agd that i wud v hav t ra had
i had cpahp th td, dut at. i r,
i pt a ht u u. ra wa vtg h th
Taca, t tw hu r, wh hd c t ta wth
d, ad h t wa uaccpad wh w t sata
maa Tatv.
m th adtc tutc g had put cathdaatgthvag ac ac ut a th hav ak
daggg ttp a i wa pud t vtgat ach tw
chuchut th tp th d th hat, ad i
wakg ut th u ad t th aa ut dak-
.
Wh d aggu cta ght, chuch dak? i w-
dd at th, kg up at th duk cg, th dak wa
d gd, th cavd dcat. i cpt t th cha
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hd th ata, wh th c wa td: sat Apa ku
cad ga a d d vvt.
Th wa a t t t a c ad wh i dppd a a , thku t up ad th tg chuch ght i cud t gv,
th wav paatg th dt pat th cau. Th
ght dd t at g ad wh t wtchd i tud t
ra watg hd .
Wat t watch aga? H hd a c tw h thu ad
g.
Ad th th t wa, uatd. lk a hatat, i thught.
i had t thkg a chd th. oc a th ath i dd
wa utact: i had id had cacut i had
uvvd . Phap i wa thkg th upg
duat w hat.
That t ght, ra pk wth th u at th cvt wh
i had cud tt ct th w w, th d htpud up tght k a cad chd, k th g th mad
k, a i tvd ag th cvt. A i wakd awa, i
kw th t w thkg that th t thd had aut
Aca wpca th Jwh had tu.
That ght r wa th t t c id had ug
that id t tuch . Th ght tad thugh
th wdw, ad wh i td ht, ttatv, th thatctd , that jaggd cut, wa uatd th ga ght.
ra had paud. lk k u t that catght, hd ad
vg .
At tw da pzza ad pata ad c ad c ca ad
d atchk ad tt ca ad pazza d up wth pg,
ad th xchag t aut u paat v nw yk
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Ct, wh ra w vd, w at atg at a pac Cap d
. Th tauat atd a chc tha 3,456 tp
zzaa ad a a a i cud t t th wa t tht dcu, ca, dcta id v tatd. i wa
t t, cd, thd tat wh ra akd id
k t t h th.
bath dp ucpcatd v th zzaa, i kd
ra. but i dd t kw th wa a atg athp. s,
, i wa t dg, jut th, t t h th. Ad t i wa
tgud. Wh luc ad i tavd wth pat, th ught
ut a a t ck a tpca a u, a tauat wth
u cha th uta cudt d a gudk (
wthut , t tu ut), a pca c cawhch
hw d t cud u?cud attd. Th ga: a tu
xpc that gtzd th pvg u tu, d-
g t authtc ad th quag u a atpca Aca.Wh tavg, v tu dw th pptut t vt th h
a dgu p, i thught, ad i td ra that i
wud v t t h th.
i thught a th dgu jct th had ught
h tav: a ak Ka that had dacd a
wa c ad had c c av; a vd d
Hat wth utd p t ack; a mcca wv akt. A wdv th hghwa t th dt ad that tk u t ra
h a agcutua ct utd th commune, i w-
dd what i cud g ack, p that i had tavd th.
ra xpad that h th, Paa, had gw up T-
aca, whch a tw th g laz. but h jut c
ack t v pat ct, h ad.
ra had dcd h xpc vg a v th wd
du t h spah ath wk bP. H td aut vg
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a gaphc att at patg ad, k th r,
whch ad h thk that i wud hav t tad a add t
pat th, whch cu at that i cud a, ad t that i cud a, ut that i t cta woulda, ad , tt
t a achtct, av nw yk, ad c ack t Taca ad
ud up th vag.
Ww, i ad.
y. ra vd h had k ad ga aga
t dv. Ad t wa ut ad th hu ak .
yu a t t u actua dw up th pa ad th
jut ut th hu? A tt wa up a tuck wa akg
t wa twad u ath pd, aag, a th wa
ca th ad.
Th pt , th t what u wud ca a Aca a
tuat. Th d t a ut kd ad i thught
th a gd ra had td hd ught ht Paa: a sw aa, a mxca pat, ad t ct, a
phtgaph baz wh had vtd Java wth ra. Th
had tak a tp t th jug ad had hkd dw t a pca
cav ad ra had pd a ua t h ac t
kp th at awa.
i kd at ra. What dd h wh h kd at , ad
Aca?What h ddt t tc ca aut wa th pckup
tuck ag twad u. A, h ad, u d t gt d
vthg u c th hu. Cgatt, cd, a
kd ach.
i ptd at th tuck. Ach? Ad a a?
ra put th ca v ad ga ackg up at a uc-
ta apd pac.
ra! i gad what i thught wa th at th
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d ut tud ut t th aua wdw cak. it ppt
had. sht. i t axt .
ra had ackd t a tt patch fattd ca ad wwatchd th tuck ca , t wh attg a th pt dut
ad t at u.
C th wdw! H achd v .
H. i hadd th patc ctapt v t ra.
H ad v aga, tckg t ack wth a cud
puh. it ha a a, h ad. yu a hav t
cau t t pu t at a, jut puh t, gt.
Hav u thught xg t? i akd, aad w t tuch
th had.
Wh? i u had t gt, pp, th p,
h ad. Awa, t, h wh u d t dup a cga-
tt, cd, athg th atu.
y, ut i dt hav a th thg.yu u? ra pud ut t th ad. D u hav a
g? bcau th w g thugh u ag. sh w
ach vthg, ra ad.
t a, had i ackpackd thugh eup a, wth -
g, ad t itaa-spah gu wh v nw yk
wh id pg wth th ght, dt u thk h
ght hav t w? Th g, i a.H d.
Ad cd a? That dcuu, i ad. yu hw d,
tht-v?
H ddd aga. W, tht-th.
i wa twt- th.
H cudt u, i thught a h wd dw t a tp
t a ag ta d, a u, a c i hav
patd t at ad th twd d th chuch
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Gk ad. Pk ad pk ugava ad twtd ght
g v cd up th d ad v th d.
ra tk a k ut th ca ahta. H wt t th dad puhd t p: a fah ght ad th th tp ctu t
wth th g wax av, ach hav wth ad
ag. Th h tud t th ca ad dv u w d,
gav cuchg ath u t.
Th wa th hu, th hu that ra had pad, wth
a d ca ad wd hutt, pd wd (th wdw,
i azd, w ad hut), ad a a taca adg
up t a a tac vkg th dvwa. muta up,
haz, th dtac.
Th at th tp th ta td a tut wa, h ack
ha wpt up, h tad a dd ac h cht. sh wa
cag itaa, a aguag i cud a ak ut v wh
t wa t g ht k at . Ad th th wa wdptg, at th ca, at , phap th, a i puhd wa ut,
a i w dg gavt, ad th, i cud gt h wth
a itaaBuongiorno! id pactcgwad th ca,
th wa cag. ra pd h a wd, h had
ttd a h wakd up th tp t h ad tk h h a.
maa! h ad.
H vc wa ufd w, ut t, h ad wd gtuwth h had, v a h huggd h . i cud a v
h uth cuv t a :
Th mth.
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