Download - Staying Clean: Living Without Drugs
title: StayingClean:LivingWithoutDrugsauthor:
publisher: HazeldenPublishingisbn10|asin: 0894864475printisbn13: 9780894864476ebookisbn13: 9780585328805
language: English
subject Narcoticaddicts--Rehabilitation--UnitedStates,NarcoticsAnonymous.
publicationdate: 1987lcc: HV5825.S6851987ebddc: 362.2/9386
subject: Narcoticaddicts--Rehabilitation--UnitedStates,NarcoticsAnonymous.
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StayingCleanLivingWithoutDrugs
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FirstpublishedAugust,1987.
Copyright©1987,HazeldenFoundation.Allrightsreserved.Noportionofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanymannerwithoutthewrittenpermissionofthepublisher.
LibraryofCongressCatalogCardNumber:87-80783
ISBN:0-89486-447-5
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica.
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Contents
1.FindNewFriends 1
2.Don'tStartUsingDrugs 3
3.ExaminePrescriptionDrugUse 4
4.AvoidAlcohol 4
5.AvoidBeerandWine 5
6.LiveJustforToday 5
7.UsetheSerenityPrayer 6
8.LearntheSlogans 7
9.ForgetOldIdeas 10
10.StickWiththeWinners 12
11.TendtoOurRecovery,NoOneElse's 13
12.AttendNar-Anon 15
13.MakePersonalDecisionsinPursuingRomance 16
14.BewareofFalseAssurances 19
15.KeepanOpenMind 19
16.Remember,OurDiseaseisProgressive 20
17.BecomeActive 22
18.UsetheTelephone 24
19.ChooseaSponsor 26
20.DealPositivelyWithInsomnia 30
21.AnalyzeClichés 31
22.ConfrontResentments 34
23.BewareofSelf-Pity 36
24.EnjoyLifebutBewareofOverconfidence 37
25.RememberOurLastDrugHigh 39
26.BeGrateful 40
27.BeGoodtoOurselves 42
28.AvoidAlcoholandOtherDrugOccasions 43
29.ChangeDailyHabits 45
30.GotoN.A.Meetings 47
31.BewareofExcuses 51
32.SeekProfessionalHelp 54
33.WorktheTwelveSteps 56
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IntroductionThewaytorecoverfromdrugaddictionistopracticetheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous(N.A.).Thereisnoeasierway.However,someofusareunabletoimmediatelyacceptthespiritualrouteasouronlyhope.ManyofushavehadtotrytostaycleanforawhilebeforewecouldclearourheadsenoughtoevenconsideracceptingtheTwelveSteps.
Herearesomeofthewaysexperiencehasshownushowtoavoidcontinuingorresumingourdrughabits.
1FindNewFriendsWhatareourfriendsgoingtosayifwequittakingdrugswiththem?Whatarewegoingtodowhentheybringoutourfavoritedrugs?
Wemustfirstdecidewhetherourlifeorouraddictedfriendsaremoreimportanttous.Manyhavelearnedthehardwaythathangingaroundusingbuddiesmaytemptusmorethanwecanstand.Ifwedonotchangeoursocialenvironmentfromdrug-riddentodrug-free,thechancesaregoodwewillgobacktousingalmostbeforewestarttogoclean.
Rememberwearestilladdicted,nomatterhowlongagowestoppedusingdrugs.IfwefollowtheprogramoutlinedbyNarcoticsAnonymouswewillrecover,butthediseasestayswithus,requiringongoingStepwork.Somethinginuscriesoutfordrugs.Itisonlycommonsenseatfirsttostayawayfromplacesandpeoplewhomakedrugsavailable.
"Giveupoldfriends?"thenewcomerwillcry."Whythey'retheonlypeopleItrust,I'venevertrustedanyonewhowouldn'tusewithme."
Thatispartoftheproblem.Ourwholeliveshavebeenbuiltaroundaddictsandaddiction.Butwedonothavetostopassociatingwithaddicts.NarcoticsAnonymousisfullofnew
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peoplewecantrust.Theyarejustlikeweare...addictsoneandall.Buttheyareaddictswhohavestoppedusingdrugs.
TheaddictsinN.A.understandnotonlyouraddictionbutourdeterminationtoneveragainsuccumbtoit.Wecantrustthembecausetheyhavebeenwherewehavebeen.Theyaresafetobearoundbecausetheyhavestoppedwhatwewanttostop.Theyarereadyandwillingtohelpusquitdrugsandstayclean.
"ButIcan'tdesertmyoldfriend,"newcomerswilldeclare."HeneedsthisprogramasmuchasIdo."
Whatheorsheneedsisoflittleconsequence.NarcoticsAnonymousisaprogramforthosewhowantit,notforallwhoneedit.Itwouldbeamiracleifourfriendswantedtostopasmuchaswedoatexactlythesametime.Wemustfaceuptotherealitythatourfriendsprobablydonotwanttocleanuptheiractsrightnow.Theymayneverwantto.
Itisallwecandototakecareofourselves,especiallyatthebeginningofourN.A.wayoflife.Desertourfriends?Wehavetoiftheyareondrugs.Wemustputalotofspacebetweenourselvesanddrug-usingfriendsifwewanttosurviveandgetwell.
Iffriendshipisstrongerthandrugs,ourfriendscanfollowusintoN.A.Buttheywillhavetodothatbythemselves;wecannotdoitforthem.Wecanlearnrightnowthatfriendshipmaynotbestrongerthandrugs.Tryingtoputfriendshipfirstcankeepusfromrecovery.Itcankillus.
AnyonewhohasadesiretostoptakingdrugsiseligibletojoinN.A.Asaddicts,weeachmustfindourownway.Thebestwecandoforfriendswhostilluseismindourownbusiness.Firstwemustgetwell.Onlythenwillwebeabletoassistanyonewhoasksforhelp;thisevenincludesoldfriendsiftheydoapproachus.Ifthathappensitwillbeontheirtimetable,notours.
Meanwhile,wemustreplaceouraddictedfriendswithcleanfriendswhowecantrust.N.A.isnotonlyagreatrecoveryfellowship,itisanorganizationwherewecanmakenewfriends.
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Givingupdrug-usingcompanionstosaveourownlivesisnotastoughasitseems.Wemaybeamazedtodiscoverthatafterwearecleanforawhilewehavelittleincommonwiththatoldgang.
Itistimetoshedstill-usingfriendsalongwithoursickoldways.WewillfindallthenewfriendsweneedinNarcoticsAnonymousaswesharetheirrecovery.
Ontheoutside,wecanfindnewfriendsamongthosewhodonotusedrugs.Onceweareclean,wewillfindallkindsofnon-usingnewfriends.Wemaybeamazedathowsociablewebecomeonceweareoffdrugs.AwholeworldexistsofwonderfulpeoplebothinandoutofN.A.,andwearegoingtolovethemandbeoneofthem.Wewilldiscoverthatpeoplewhoarenotusingdrugsaremoreinterestingthanpeoplewhoare.
2Don'tStartUsingDrugsAsurewaytostoptakingdrugsistoneverstart.Acertainwaytonevergetstonedistoturndowndrugs.Somepeoplesaythefirstdrugwetriedwastheonethatgotusintotrouble.Therecanbenoargumentagainstthisfactonceweareclean:Ifwealwaysturndownthefirstdrug,wewillnevergetstoned.
Asaddicts,wecannotusedrugsinmoderation.Wecan'tstartorwegoalltheway.Thechoiceisours.Wecansay"yes"or"no"tothefirstdrug.Ifwesay"yes"thedrugtakesover.
Itisuptous.Ifwewanttostayclean,theanswereachtimeweareofferedadrugortemptedmustbe"no."Thereisnootherwaytostayclean.
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3ExaminePrescriptionDrugUseAsrecoveringaddicts,wemayask,isitsafetotakemedicineprescribedbyadoctor?Noonebutaphysicianisqualifiedtojudgewhetheranaddictoranyoneelseneedsmedicationstosustainlifeormentalstability.Itisimportantthatourdoctorsunderstandthenatureofouraddiction.Theymustunderstanditisdifficulttobreakaddictionwhileusinganykindofmood-alteringsubstance,prescribedornot.Onlyphysiciansarequalifiedtodetermineifdrugsarevitaltomedicaltreatmentofdiseases,butitisuptoyoutoinformphysiciansofyouraddiction.Physicianscannotproperlytreatourmedicalproblemsunlesstheyknowofthedangersofprescribingmood-alteringdrugstous.
Ifwehavebeenusingalegalprescriptionforalongtime,suchasValiumorotherbarbiturates,wecanfindadoctorwhoisfamiliarwithNarcoticsAnonymous.Ifthat'snotpossible,findanN.A.memberwhoisaphysician,orlookforsomeonewhospecializesintreatingaddiction.Askifweshouldstopusingtheprescriptionandhowwecanstopusingitsafely.Remember,detoxifyingourselvescanbedangerous,soweneedhelp.
Wecangetoffmood-alteringdrugswiththehelpofadoctorwhohasexperienceintreatingourdisease.Weshoulddoitasquicklyasit'ssafelypossible.Onlythisapproachwillhelpusbecomecleanlikethosewhorecoveredbeforeus.Andwedon'thavetojeopardizeourrecoverybyallowinganuninformeddoctortoprescribemood-alteringdrugstous.
4AvoidAlcoholSomeofuslookeddownonthosewhodrankalcohol.Alcoholicsseemedlesssophisticatedtousthandrugusers.Well,hereissomenewsforthosewhostillthinkthatway:
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Alcoholisadrug.Thesurgeongeneralhasproclaimed,"Alcoholisournation'snumberonedrugproblem."Alcoholisjustanotherdrugandaddictscaneasilysubstituteitforourdrugofchoice.
Wedonotstayoffdrugsbytakingdrugs.TheN.A.memberwhowantstostaycleanwillnotdrinkalcohol.Tobecleanwemustalsobesober.
5AvoidBeerandWineWaybackin1933whenprohibitionwasrepealed,alawwasadoptedwhichintroducedthelegalsaleofbeerandwineonU.S.militarybases.Theridiculoustheorywasthatnoonecouldgetdrunkonwineorbeer.
Donotbetakeninbythefoolishnotionthatdrinkingbeerorwineisokayaslongasyoudonottouchthehardstuff.Itisallalcohol.Aone-ouncejiggerofwhiskey,afour-ounceglassofwine,andaneight-ounceglassofbeereachcontainthesameamountofethylalcohol,oneofthedrugswemustavoidtostayclean.
Wecan'tkidourselves;drinkingwineorbeerisnotsaferthanusingotherdrugs.Thoseofuswhoturntoalcoholareinvariablyoffandrunningagainintoaddictivedespair.
6LiveJustforTodaySayingnotoourselveseachtimewehaveanopportunitytousedrugsfortherestofourlivesmayseemimpossibleifwelookatitasalifetimeproject.ButinNarcoticsAnonymouswehavefoundaneasier
waytostayclean.Allwehavetodoisstayawayfrommood-alteringsubstancesjustfortoday.Anyofuscanresisttemptationforonedaynomatterhowmiserableit
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gets.Wecantakeanythingforaday.Wedon'thavetoworryabouttomorrow.Wecanliveandstaycleaninthenow,oneminuteatatime.
Ifwecankeepourselvesoffdrugstoday,wecandothesametomorrow.Weneednotconstantlyworryabouttomorrow.Allweneedtodotostaycleanforonedayistoturndowndrugsrightnow.Westaycleanforaday...justfortoday.
TherearealotoffriendsandtoolsinN.A.tohelpusthroughacleanday.
7UsetheSerenityPrayerOnewayrecoveringaddictsfindtostaycleanthroughthedayisthroughprayer.ManyN.A.membersusetheSerenityPrayer:
God,grantmetheserenityToacceptthethingsIcannotchange,CouragetochangethethingsIcan,Andwisdomtoknowthedifference.
Wecanusethisprayerdailyormanytimesdaily.Thissimpleprayerhelpsaddictsstayawayfromdrugsjustfortoday.Asaddicts,wepraytoacceptourdiseasethatmakesitimpossibleforustocontrolouruseofdrugs.Wecannotchangethat.Wecanchangeandprayforthewisdomtoknowthatusingdrugsagainmaybefatal.Wecanalsoprayforthecouragetonotstartusingagain.Withsuchwisdomandcouragewecangetthroughadayingoodshape.
MiracleshaveresultedfromtheSerenityPrayer.Howeveritisnotashortcuttothespiritualawakeningnecessaryforrecoveryfromourdisease.ThatcomeslaterintheTwelveSteps.
UsingtheSerenityPrayeroftenwillhelpusstaycleanuntiltheTwelveStepsremovealldesirefordrugsfromourminds.
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8LearntheSlogansFiveslogansarecommonlyusedwiththeTwelveStepsbyaddictswhoneverwanttouseagain.Inmeetinghallsaroundtheworldtheseslogansareoftenhunginthisorder:
LiveandLetLive
EasyDoesIt
ButfortheGraceofGod...
Think,Think,Think
FirstThingsFirst
Theyarearrangedsothefirstwordofeachsloganofferssoundadvicetotheaddictwhenreadlefttoright,LiveEasyButThinkFirst.
LiveandLetLive
Ifwearetohavethepeaceofmindnecessarytolickouraddictionweneedtolearnnottoletthebehaviorofothersbotherus.Attheveryleastwemustdeveloptolerance.Ideallyourtolerancewillbecomeacceptance.
Asurewaytofeelmiserableistofailatsomething.Thereisnothingmoredoomedtofailurethantryingtogetotherstobehavethewaywethinktheyoughtto.Everytimewebaseourpeaceofmindontheperformanceofsomeoneelseweareprobablygoingtobemiserable.
Wecan'tenjoybeingcleanwhenwe'remiserable.Ifwewanttobehappilyclean,itisbettertonotexpecttoomuchofotherpeople.Wehadbetteracceptitwhenothersdothingswedon'tthinktheyoughtto.Wemustletothersliveastheylike.
Anotherwaytobemiserableistotrytobehavethewaywethinkotherswantustoact.Nomatterhowhardwetry,itcan'tbedone.Wecannotrecreateourselvestopleaseotherpeople.Wefailandbecomemiserableeverytimewetry.Thisshattersthepeaceofmindweneedtostayhappilyclean.
Wemustlearntoliveourlivesandallowotherstolivetheirs.Whenwetoleratetheirbehaviortheywillbettertolerateours.
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EasyDoesIt
Asnewcomers,oneofthemostdifficultthingstobelieveisthatN.A.isaneasyprogramtofollow.Howcoulditpossiblybeeasytostayoffdrugs?
ThereareonlyTwelveStepstorecoveryinNarcoticsAnonymous.Theyareeasytofollowoncewemakeupourmindstodoso.Theproblemisdecidingtorecover.
IfwehavedecidedwewantwhatN.A.hastooffer,wearereadytotakecertainSteps.WearereadyfortheseStepswhenwewanttostopusingmood-alteringsubstancesjustfortodayfortherestofourlives.Ifwearewillingtogotoanylengthtodoso,theStepsbecomeeasy.Ifweonlyhalfheartedlywanttoquit,oronlywanttostopusingforawhile,theStepsbecomeimpossible.
TheonlyeasywaytostaycleanistopracticetheTwelveStepsofN.A.UntilwelearnhowtodotheStepsitisagoodideatotrynottogettoofranticoveranything.Insteadofgoingintoaflapwhenthingsdonotseemtobegoingourway,itisagoodideatositdown,takeadeepbreath,andremindourselvestotakeiteasy.Wedon'tneedtoresolveourentirefutureinoneday,andtakingiteasyhelpsusstayclean.
ButfortheGraceofGod
Wecanrememberwhyweareclean.SeeingsomeonewhoisnotcleanisagoodreminderofwherewehavebeenandwhereweneednotreturnifweleaveourlivesuptothegraceofGod.
Someofuscontinuetoenvythosewhostillusedrugs,butthisenvywon'tlastforlong.InN.A.,weseetheresultsofaddictioninotheruserswhoarenotfortunateenoughtobeontheroadtorecovery.
Wewillprobablyseethedegradationanddespairofonewhohasslippedoutofthefellowshipandreturnedtosubstanceenslavement.ItisareminderofwhatcanhappentousifwelaginourdeterminationtostickwithN.A.'sTwelveStepstorecovery.
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''TherebutforthegraceofGodgoI,"wecanhonestlysaywhenwelearnofsomeone'sdeathbyoverdose,ordeathbyviolenceassociatedwithaddiction.
"TherebutforthegraceofGodgoI."Rememberit.Itwillhelpusstayoffdrugsjustfortoday.
Think,Think,Think
Oneofthemostpopularslogansfoundinmeetingroomsallovertheworldis
Think,Think,Think.
AnewN.A.memberstrugglingtorecovermayatanytimebetemptedtouseamood-alteringsubstance.Noexcusetotakedrugsisacceptabletothenewlycleanmemberwhowantstostaythatway.However,somesituationsmakeusmorevulnerabletotemptationthanothers.Ifsuchanoccurrenceunexpectedlyoccurswecanstopandthinkbeforeweactrashlyandputourselvesunderevenmorepressuretoreturntodrugs.
"Thinkfirst,"isagoodsuggestionforthoseofuswhoarenotyettrainedtocopewithpeople,places,orsituationsthatpromptedustousedrugsbefore.
FirstThingsFirst
WhenwearriveinN.A.weareusuallytoldwedonothavetoworryaboutstayingcleanfortherestofourlives.Weonlyhavetoturndowndrugsjustfortoday.Wecanremember,FirstThingsFirst.Ifwetakecareoftoday,tomorrowwilltakecareofitself.
TaketheFirstStep,thenthenext.Applythesameprincipleto
everydayliving.Dowhatcomesnext.Donottrytohandleeverythingatonce.Dowhattheslogansays:FirstThingsFirst.Thisapproachwillhelpusstaytreeofchemicalsjustfortoday.
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LiveEasyButThinkFirst
Thissloganiscomposedofthefirstwordsofeachoftheotherfivesayings.Itcautionsustotakeiteasyandthinkaboutwhatwearegoingtodobeforeweact.
Lateron,theTwelveStepsofrecoverywillmakeitpossibleforustotrustourintuition.UntilwetaketheStepswehadbetterwatchourselves.Donotpanic.Takeiteasy.Thinkbeforeyouact.Donotuse,nomatterwhat!
9ForgetOldIdeasItisobviousouroldideasofhowtolivewerenothealthy.Theygotusintostatesofhelplessdesperation,andwehadtoseekrescuefromN.A.
Wemustgetridoftheideasthatledustodrugsinthefirstplace.Wemustdisposeofalltheexcusesweusedtojustifydruguseevenafteritbegancausingusnothingbutpain,trouble,andhumiliation.
Thefirstideawehavetoeraseisthenotionthatanythinggoodcancomeofusingdrugsagain.Wehavetodemolishanyideaswemaystillhavethatitisdesirabletotakedrugs.
Themostobviousideaweneedtogetridofinvolvesanylingeringfantasythatwecanorwillbeabletoexerteventheslightestcontroloveranymood-alteringsubstance.
Thosearethemoreglaringideaswemustgetridof.Itmaynotseemsotothestrugglingaddictwhosebodyhasnotyethadtimetocleanseitselfofchemicals,butthosearetheeasiestideastoshake.Ourpresentpredicamentmayhavealreadyconvinceduswearepowerless
overaddiction.
Numerousideasmayexistwithinusthatareeventrickiertoletgoof.Theseinclude:
·Wecannotgetalongwithoutourolddrug-relatedfriendships.
·Peoplewhodonotusedrugscan'tbetrusted.
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·Thelawisourenemy.
·Itisnotnormalbehaviortosay"no"todrugs.
·Lifewithoutdrugswillbeboring.
·Thebehaviorofotherpeoplecandriveustodrugs.
·Drugsarenecessarytohavegoodsex.
·Losingsleepismoreunhealthythanwithdrawalfromdrugs.
·Prescriptiondrugsareokaybecausetheyarelegal.
·Itisokaytoswitchtoalcoholtoeasethepainofwithdrawal.
·Marijuanaisnotasdangerousasotherdrugs.
·Ajobistooimportanttotaketimeofffromtodealwithdrug-relatedproblems.
·Wecanhandleouraddictionbyourselves.
·Thereissomethingwrongwithsomeonewhogoesto"toomanymeetings."
·Increasingtheintakeofnicotine,caffeine,andfoodisallwehavetodotostayoffdrugs.
·Ameetingaweekwillcureus.
·Itisimpossibletorecoverfromaddiction.
·Addictsneverrecover.
·Old-timersintheprogramhavenothingtoofferbecausetheyaretoooldandoutoftouchwithyoungerpeople.
·GodwilltakecareofuswhetherweaskHimtoornot.
·ThereisnoPowergreaterthanourselves.
·ItisasbadtobecomeaddictedtoN.A.meetingsasitistobeaddictedtodrugs.
Oldideassuchasthesecankillus.OneoldideaoftenheardatN.A.meetingscandousin.Thereisamistakennotionthatnooneeverrecoversfromaddiction.Thetruthisthis:Thediseaseofaddictionisonewewillcarrywithusuntilwedie,butrecoveryispossiblethroughabstinenceandcontinuouslyworkingtheSteps.
Nothingcanbemorediscouragingormorebafflingtoourrecoverythantryingtoembarkonaprogramofrecoveryifwebelieveitisimpossibletostayclean.Onpage83oftheBasic
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TextofNarcoticsAnonymous,wearetold,"Nowweknowthatthetimehascomewhenthattiredoldlie,'Onceanaddict,alwaysanaddict,'willnolongerbetoleratedbyeithersocietyortheaddicthimself.Wedorecover."
NarcoticsAnonymousisbasedonprinciplesfoundinabookpublishedbyAlcoholicsAnonymouscalledTwelveStepsandTwelveTraditions.ThisbookwaswrittenbyA.A.'sco-founder,BillW.
NarcoticsAnonymousexplainsonpageX,TheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous,asadaptedfromA.A.,arethebasisofourrecoveryprogram.Wehaveonlybroadenedtheirperspective.Wefollowthesamepathwithasingleexception;ouridentificationasaddictsisall-inclusiveinrespecttoanymood-changing,mood-0alteringsubstance....Wehavebynomeansfounda'cure'foraddiction.Weofferonlyaprovenplanfordailyrecovery.
10StickWiththeWinnersWecanremembertoshareexperience,strength,andhopewithallinN.A.Butwhenwewanttoknowhowtorecover,weaskthosewhoarerecovering.
ArecoveringmemberofN.A.isonewhosecompulsiontousedrugshasbeenremovedbyGod.ArecoveringaddicttriestopracticeN.A.'sTwelveStepsinallhisorheraffairsassuggestedinStepTwelve.ThosewhoarerecoveringhavedonesobymeansoftheTwelveStepsofrecoveryandarenowdedicatedtocarryingthemessageofthoseStepstootheraddicts.ArecoveringaddictgoestoN.A.meetingsnotjustbecauseheorshehasto,butbecauseheorshewantsto.Arecoveringpersonnolongerusestheprogramonlyforwhatheorshecangetoutofitbutforwhatheorshecancontributetoit.Arecoveringaddictservesthefellowshipinmanyways;thesecan
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includebeingoncommittees,Twelve-Stepping,sponsoringnewcomers,movingchairs,makingcoffee,andholdingoffice.
Littleisgainedbysharingmiserywiththemiserable.Lookforthehappymembers.Theywillnotonlysharetheirhappiness,theywillsharehowtheygotthatwaysowecanbehappytoo.
WecanhelptheunfortunatebutheedthosewhosucceedinN.A.Theadage"likebegetslike"wasnevermoretruethaninourfellowship.Ifwehangoutonlywithlosers,welose.Wecanhelpthem,andbysodoingwewillbehelpingourselves.Andwecanletwinnershelpus.
Wecanspotthewinners.Theyradiatesuccess.Theyarenotjustclean,theyarehappilyclean.Theyaregratefulfortheirdrugaddictionbecausewithoutit,theymightneverhaveheardoftheTwelveSteppathwaytoadrug-freelifeandajoyouswayofliving.
GodshinesthroughN.A.'swinners.Heshinesuponyou.Stickwiththewinnersandbefree.
11TendtoOurRecovery,NoOneElse'sSomeofusmaybeintimatelyinvolvedwithsomeonewhoisaddicted.Wemayhavetodecidewhatismoreimportanttousourcleanlifeorourrelationship.Itisuptoeachofus.Weshouldallownooneelsetointerferewithourdecision.Itisapersonalmatterthateachofusmusttakefullresponsibilityfor.
Miserylovescompany.Theaddictgoingthroughwithdrawalwilloftendesperatelywishhisorherpartnerweretakingthatsamemiserablejourneyatexactlythesametime.Thisisnotlikelytohappen.
Joylovescompany,too.TheN.A.newcomerexperiencing"cloudnine"ecstasyinthefirststagesoffreedomfromdrugswillnaturallywanttosharethisnew-foundtreasurewiththe
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oneheorsheloves.Butthegiftofbeingdrugfreecanseldombefullysharedwithotheractivedrugaddicts,eventheonewelovemostinthisworld.
Addictswhodependonsomeoneelse'sfreedomfromdrugstostaycleanaredoomedfromthestart.Itisalifeanddeathmatter.Two,addictsleaningshakilyoneachothercannotcutit.Ifonefalls,theybothfall.Eachaddictwhoreallywantstorecoverhasgottodoitonlyforhimselforherself.
ThereareplentyofrecoveringaddictswillingtohelpbysharinghowtheTwelveStepprogramofrecoveryworksforthem.Theusingaddictmustnotbeallowedtohinderourrecovery,nomatterhowmuchwelovethatperson.
WecannotfollowtheTwelveStepprogramfortheonewelove.Wecannotgettheonewelovetodoitforus.Inthissituation,ouronlyhopeistomindourbusiness.Andourbusinessiswhatwepersonallydoaboutourdrugproblem,notwhatanyoneelsedoesespeciallythepersonclosesttous.
Eachofusmustdecidewhethertoleaveorstaywithalovedonewhoreturnstoorneverstopsusingalcoholorotherdrugs.This,likeourrecovery,isnobody'sbusinessbutours.
Thedecisionshouldbebasedupononlyonequalification.Wecaneachask,"AfterIdowhatIdecide,willIliveahappy,drug-freelife?OrwillIgetdraggedbackintothedrugpit?"
Ifyouthinkyoucanremainunaffectedbyyourlovedone'saddictivebehaviorandnotletitpullyoudown,proceedwithgreatcaution.Youcanbepreparedtobailoutanytimeitbecomesnecessary.
Youcanalsobearonepolicyinmindatalltimes:Whatyourpartnerdoesaboutalcoholorotherdrugsishisorherbusiness,notyours.
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12AttendNar-AnonAnyonetryingtorecoverwhochoosestolivewithorformacloseattachmenttoapracticingaddictneedstolearntheartofdetachment.IfthereisaNar-Anongroupavailable,joinit.
Ifweremainwithalovedonewhostillusesdrugs,wecanbenefitfrombelongingtobothN.A.andNar-Anon.Wecanpracticebothprogramsatonce.
IfthereisnoNar-Anongroupavailable,thenweneedtotrytodetachonourown.Detachingfromsomeonewelovedoesnotnecessarilymeanleavingthatperson.Butitdoesmeangivingupourconcernwithortryingtochangethatperson'sbehavior,especiallyhisorheraddictivebehavior.
NarcoticsAnonymousisasave-your-own-lifefellowship.Nar-Anonisamind-your-own-businessprogram.Ifwearelivingwithorinlovewithanaddict,weneedbothprograms.
JustasN.A.isafellowshipofmenandwomenwhowanttorecoverfromdrugaddiction,Nar-Anonisaprogramforthosewhoneedtorecoverfromlivingwithaddicts.RecoverycanbeachievedonlybypracticingthesameTwelveSteps.
Wecanaskourselvesifwearesubconsciouslyseekinganexcusetotakedrugsagain.Itisalluringtoallowsomeoneelse'soutrageousbehaviortogetussoupsetwethinkweneedamood-alteringsubstancetocalmdown.Butanaddicttryingtorecovercanneveraffordtotakedrugsforanyreason,letalonebecauseofthewaysomeotheraddictbehaves.
Soonerorlatersomeonewefeelclosetoisgoingtousedrugs.Theydoitbecausetheyareaddicts.Itisnaturalbehaviorforaddictstousedrugs.Ifwethinkwehavetousedrugsbecauseoftheirbehavior,wearedoomed.Wewillneverrecoverifweuseothersasanexcusetouse.
Anaddicteasilyupsetbyanotheraddict'sbehaviorneedsNar-Anonmorethananonaddictdoes.Whenweslipwestartusingagain.Thatcankillus.Nar-Anonisavailablenotonlytoteachushowtocopewithfriendsandrelativeswhousedrugs,buttohelpusrecoverfrombeing"addicted"toanotheraddict.
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ThesecretofN.A.'ssuccessisthataddictswhoarerecoveringcan,asnooneelsecan,helpotheraddictsrecoverfromtheneedtotakedrugs.Butitallgoesdownthetubeifweletactiveaddictsdriveusbacktodrugs.
Someaddictswhohavebrokenthedrughabitcannottearthemselvesawayfromothers'addiction.Butinthiscase,thesymptomofouraddictioninvolvestryingtocontrolsomeoneelse.Nar-Anoncanhelpusrecoverfromthisfinalandjustasfatalsymptomofourcommondisease.
Ifanotheraddict'sactionsorwordsbothersusatall,weneedtogotoNar-Anon.
13MakePersonalDecisionsinPursuingRomanceDependinguponourpointofview,manyofusareeitherluckyenoughorunluckyenoughtobedrawnintoanewemotionalinvolvementduringourfirstfewmonthsintheprogram.Thisseemstohappeneventhoughwehaveheardwell-intentionedadvicefromNar-Anonmemberstorefrainfromgettinginvolvedwithanyoneforatleastayear.
Firstletusbeclearaboutonepoint:Suchadviceispersonal,baseduponsomeoneelse'sexperienceandopinion.ThereisnomandatepublishedbyN.A.torefrainfromemotionalinvolvmentduringthefirstyear.
Oursisaprogramforstayingawayfromdrugsjustfortoday.Itisnotaprogramtostayawayfromloveorsexforayear.
Therearenohardandfastrulesaboutintimaterelationships.Itisa
controversialissue.TheTwelveStepsdonotspecificallyaddressthisandnoN.A.publicationsaddressiforwhenanewcomershouldbecomeemotionallyorsexuallyinvolved.Therefore,itisanoutsideissue.
TraditionTensays,"NarcoticsAnonymoushasnoopiniononoutsideissues...."Ourlovelifeisourbusiness,notthebusinessofourN.A.grouporsponsor.
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Neverthelessitwouldbebesttobeforewarnedthatanewcomerenteringthejoustinggroundofromance,whetheritincludessexualactivityornot,isuniquelyvulnerabletothetemptationtousedrugs.Whenwegamblewiththeemotionsoflove,wemayenteranarenaofecstasy,despair,orboth.
Inthepastmostofususedchemicalstohelpusavoidcopingwiththehighsandlowsofpassionandrejection.Nowwedonothavedrugstofallbackon.
Inaprogramthatteachesustolivejustfortodaywhilenotbecomingtoolonely,itisconfusingtotrytoabstainfromintimateinvolvementforanentireyear.Givingupdrugsisaboutallmostofuscanhandle,andnotmanyofusgetthroughayearwithoutemotionalorsexualinvolvement.
Theanswerisobvious:Weareverylikelytobecomeemotionallyinvolvedwhetherwewanttoornot.Ifwedenyourfeelingsorrestrictourbehaviorwemaybecomefrustratedandtemptedtoturntodrugs.
Wewhosuccumbtoromancedoruntheriskofrejection.Whenwebeginarelationshipwetaketheriskofbeingdumped.Butgettingdumpedisnoreasontoturnbacktodrugs.Ourheartscanbebroken.Wemayexperienceexcruciatingpain.Butpainisnotamotivationtoresorttomind-numbingdrugs.Wecangetsohighonlove,sex,orboththatwethinknothingcanhurtus.Butbeinginvolvedwithsomeonedoesnotremoveouraddictions.
Noneoftheseecstasiesorcalamitiesisacceptableasanexcusetousedrugs!Wedonotusedrugsforanyreason.Wedonotusebecauseofjoy,despair,ecstasy,rejection,orheartbreak.
DonotbelieveitifsomeonewarnsusthatemotionalinvolvementduringourfirstyearinN.A.willcauseustotakedrugs.Wecanpromiseourselvesrightnowthatwiththehelpoftheprogramnothing
willdriveusbacktodrugs,notevenlovethatdoesn'tprovetrue.InN.A.welearnhowtoexperiencelifeandlovewithoutchemicalassistance.
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Bewarnedtherearepredatorsofbothsexesineverygroup.SuchthoughtlessN.A.memberswilltrytotakesexualadvantageofanewcomer.SexualseductionisnolesscommoninNarcoticsAnonymousthananyplaceelse.Thosewhopracticeindiscriminateseductiondonotcarewhotheyhurt.Personalgratificationtakespriorityoverconsiderationfortheirvictims.Bewareofthe"thirteenthsteppers"whoaddvulnerablenewcomerstotheirscores.Butwhetherweavoidbeingavictimornot,wedonotletwhathappensdriveusbacktodrugs.
InN.A.wedonotuse,nomatterwhat.
Professionalcounselingmayhelpussortoutourrelationshipandsexualproblems,ifnecessary.NeitherourN.A.grouporsponsorisapttobeareliableauthorityonloveorsex.Wewillrunintomemberswithlotsofexperience,buttheycan'tsolveourproblems.Itwouldbenowisertoturnourlovelifeovertothemanagementofanamateurthantoplaceourlegalproblemsorphysicalailmentsintothehandsofotheraddictswho,likeourselves,havenolegalormedicaltraining.
Addictswho,despitealltherisksinvolved,goaheadandbecomeinvolvedwithsomeonewillneedallthecommonsensetheycanmuster.Establishedcouplesaswellasthosenewtoromancemustlearntodetachfromtheproblemsoftheirpartners.Eachmusttakecareofhimselforherself.
"Stickwiththewinners"isevenmorepertinentforthoseseekingamatethanforthosetryingtoestablishfriendships.
Wecantrytoavoidrelationshipswithpeoplewhoareplaguedwithproblems.Wecanstartlookingforcompanionshipinpeoplewhohavehealthyapproachestoliving.
Ifanewrelationshipisbasedonpreviousaddictiontothesamedrugs,itisnotlikelytoturnintoamarriagemadeinheaven.Furthermore,an
addictfallingforanotheraddictshouldstartattendingNar-Anon.
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14BewareofFalseAssurancesWhetherarelationshipinvolvesfriendshiporromance,wecanremembertobewaryofformingacloseattachmenttoanyonewhorefusestobelieveweareaddicts.
Manyrecoveringaddictshavefallenforafriend'sassuranceof,''Youknow,Idon'tthinkyouarereallyaddictedatall.Ithinkyoucouldenjoygettinghighwithmenow."
Asaddicts,wecannotfindanenemyasdangerousasahusband,wife,lover,orbestfriendwhorefusestoaccepttherealityofourdisease.Tragicconsequencescanresultfromlisteningtosomeonewhosays,"Justthisoncewon'thurtyou."
Ifweloveourlives,wecanrejecttheassurancesofanyonewhokeepstryingtoconvinceuswearenotreallyaddicts.Itishardtobelieveonewhoclaimstoloveuswoulddenyouraddiction,butithappensallthetime.Wehavegottobereadyforthiskindoftemptationandbereadytogetawayfromitwhenitoccurs.
Lovedoesnotconquerall.Itdoesnotconquerdrugs.Wewillbebetteroffwithoutaloverorfriendwhorefusestobelieveweareaddicts.
15KeepanOpenMindWecanremembertokeepourselvesreceptivetonewideasbecausetheNarcoticsAnonymousrecoveryprogramrequiresa180-degreeshiftinthewaywethink.
Wedon'thavetoblindlyaccepteverythingwehearatanN.A.meetingoreverythingoursponsortellsus.Butwecan'tdismisswhatwehearwithoutthinkingitoverandtalkingitoverwithrecoveringaddicts.Ifwedonotinvestigateallwehearwithanopenmind,wemightmissgoodadvicevitaltoourrecovery.
Wedon'thavetomakethesamemistakesthataddictsbeforeushavealreadymade.Thatiswhywehaveliterature.Itis
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intendedtokeepusfrommakingthesamemistakes.Thewrongmovesofthosebeforeushavebeenidentifiedthehardway.Theyhavebeenanalyzedforusbyotherswhosurvivedthem.
WewillsometimeshearanN.A.membersay,"Idon'tknowhowthisprogramworks,butitworks."HowitworksisclearlyspelledoutintheBasicTextofNarcoticsAnonymousandtheTwelveSteps.Infact,ChapterFourofNarcoticsAnonymousistitled"HowItWorks."
Onpage17,theBasicTextstates:"Thestepsareoursolution.Theyareoursurvivalkit.Theyareourdefense,foraddictionisadeadlydisease.Ourstepsaretheprinciplesthatmakeourrecoverypossible."
Onlyanopenmindwillmakewayfornewideaswhichmustreplacetheoldifwearetorecoverfromourfataldisease.Ifwereallywanttorecoverwemustbewillingtolearnanewwayoflifethatistotallyalientohowweweretaughtinthepasttoconductourselves.
Preconceivednotionsofhowtostayoffdrugsmaykeepusonthem.Stayingcleanmustnowbecomethemostimportantpurposeinourlives.Inordertodosoweneednewknowledgetoreplacewhatpreviouslyneverworked.Aclosedmindwillkeepsuchinformationfromenteringourconsciousness.
Wewillalsohearsomesay,"Don'tintellectualize.Utilize."Whattheyreallymeanis,"Takeaction."
Earlierwediscussedtheslogan,Think.Think.Think.Keepyourmindopen.Useittolearnwhatactiontotaketogetwell.
16Remember,OurDiseaseisProgressiveDrugaddictionisnotjustabadhabit.Itisaprogressive,oftenfatal
disease.Wemustrememberthat.
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Inthepastwhenwewereabletostaycleanforawhile,webegantofeelsophysicallywellthatwethoughtwehadrecoveredenoughtostartusingagain.
Butafterwestartedusingdrugsagainwequicklydiscoveredwewerenotwellenoughtosafelyuseagain.Andwefoundwewereworseoffthanbefore.Thesickestofustoldourselveswehadnotstoppedlongenoughtosafelyindulgeinourfavoritedrugsagain.Theveryfactthatweevenwantedtouseagainprovedwehadnotrecovered.Whenwediduseagainwesufferedevenmorethanbefore.
N.A.revealstousthetruepictureofourprogressivedisease.Nolengthofabstinencewillallowustosafelyreturntodruguse.
Addictionisadiseasewecancontinuallyrecoverfromaslongasweneveragainexperimentwithmood-alteringchemicals.Ifwedo,wequicklyfindourselvesinthedeepdespairofourdiseaseagain.Ourdiseasegetsprogressivelyworsewhetherwearecleanornot.Oncewestartagain,nomatterhowlongwehavebeenoffdrugs,ourillnesshasincreasedasifwehadbeenusingdrugsallalong.
Experienceshowsthatwhenanaddictoflongabstinencereturnstoanykindofdrug,heorsheexperienceshorrifyingdeteriorationintoahelplessstateasadvancedasifheorshehadneverabstained.
Remember,wehaveaprogressivedisease.Believeitifyouvalueyourlife.Donottestit.Itisbesttobelieveitandneverforgetthisfact.
Wecanhelpourselvesabstainifwerememberarelapsecankillus.
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17BecomeActiveEveryaddictwhoquitsusingdrugsasksthesamequestion,"WhatwillIdowithallmytimenowthatI'vestopped?"
Onesymptomofaddictionisthatwecannotimaginealifetimewithoutdrugs.Weonlydoitjustfortoday.Butmanyofuscannotfathomgettingthroughevenawholedaywithouttheroutineassociatedwithusing.Wehaveanalmostterminalfearofbeingbored.
Thebestwaytonotbecomeboredistogetactive.Thefirstthingtodoisgotoalotofmeetings.Ifthereismorethanonedailymeetinginyourarea,attendmorethanonedailymeeting.
Thosewhogotofivemeetingsaweeklearnfivetimesasmuchabouthowtorecoverthanthosewhogotooneweeklymeeting.Thosewhogototenmeetingsaweeklearntwiceasfastasthosewhotakeinfive.
Meetingsareseldomboringonceweareabletolistentowhatisbeingsaid.Everythingwehearissonewwedonotinitiallyunderstandmuchofit.Butifwekeeplisteningwebegintomakegreatdiscoveriesaboutfellowaddictsandourselves.LearningoursecretsisneverboringtoanyoneasselfcenteredaswearebythetimewegettoN.A.
Atfirstsomemaynotwanttojoingroupdiscussions.Thosewhodonotwishtoshareareallowedtopasswhencalledupon.Thereisnodisgraceinnottalkingbecausewehavenothingtosay.Wewilloftenbetold,"Thenewcomeristhemostimportantpersonintheroom."Suchrecognitionisneverboringtoanaddictwhoneedsloveandattention.
Someofuswhoreallyneedstrokingquicklylearnasurewaytogetaroundofapplause.Allwehavetodoisidentifyourselvesbyfirstnameasanaddictandtellhowmanydayswehavebeenclean,nomatterhowshortthetimehasbeen.Whenwedosoeverybodyclaps.Wehearshoutsof,"Allright!"Suchacclamationisnotboringatall.
Whenwegetenoughnervetoshareatmeetingswefindanotherwaytokeepfromgettingbored.Wegettohear
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ourselvestalk.Notonlythat,wediscoverthatothersinthemeetingroomleanforwardtolistentowhatwesay.Foraminuteortwowemayevenfeellikethemostimportantpersonintheroom.Thatkindofstardomisseldomboring.
Beforelongwewilldiscoverapersonintheroomwhoisevennewerintheprogramthanweare.Wegetoutsideourselvesforthefirsttimeandsharewiththenewcomerhowwemanagedtostayclean.Notlongagotheonlywaywecouldgetoutsideourselveswastotakeachemicalthatdidnotevenworkwellanymore.Helpingsomeonewhoisjustonehournewertothefellowshipthanweareisnotboring.
Thenwelearnifwecometothemeetingearlywecansetupchairs,makecoffee,orlayoutliterature.Whenthemeetingbreaksupwecanputawaychairs,cleanashtrays,orhelpthegroupsecretarylockup.Thisgetsusintoone-on-oneconversationwithsomeonewithmoretimeintheprogramthanwehave.Whatotheraddictshavetotellusmaynotbewhatwewanttohear,butitwillnotboreus.
Beforeweknowitwefindourselvesadjourningtoarestaurantorsomeone'shouseforsocializinglacedwithlaughterandtalkofN.A.recovery.Somehowourhorrorstoriesofdrugusebecomelessdevastating,evenfunnywiththepassageoftime.WefindthatcleanN.A.membersrarelyboreus.Infactmostaredownrightinteresting.Someareexcitingtobewith.
NewN.A.friendshipsareanantidoteagainstboredom.
Wemaynotfeellikedancingwithoutdrugsyet,butsomeonewilltalkusintogoingtoanN.A.dance.Therearelotsoftheminmostcommunities.Fearofdancingwhilecleanwillleaveuswhensomeonedragsusontoadancefloorfilledwithrecoveringaddictswhoareenjoyingthemselves.
ThereareN.A.picnicsandconventionstogoto.N.A.motorcycle
cluboutings,trailrides,campingweekends,retreats,birthdayparties,banquets,andothersocialeventstakeplacesooftenwecannotgettothemall.
WecanshowourgratitudetoN.A.byvolunteeringourtime.Eachgrouphaspaperworktodo,suppliestopurchase,
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meetingnoticestopost.Transportationtoandfrommeetingscanbeprovidedtothosewhodonotowncars.newcomerscanaccompanyold-timersonTwelfthStepcallstoassistsufferingaddictswhocalltheN.A.phonenumberforhelp.Intergroups,servicecommittees,andcentralofficesallneedyourhelp.EngaginginN.A.volunteerworkwillkeepusintouchwiththemostvitalrecoveringmembersofourfellowship.Theymayblessuswithrecovery,buttheywillnotboreus.
Getactiveinotherways,preferablywithN.A.friends.Gotobaseball,basketball,andfootballgames.Gofishing.Attendplays,movies,andconcerts.Swim,run,surf,sail,orski.Replacethehighsyouusedtoseekindrugswiththehealthyelationexercise,entertainment,andsportscanprovide.
Wecangethighonlivingallwewant.Keepingturnedontolifewillhelpkeepusturnedoffofdrugs.
Stayingcleanwillbringnewclaritytoourbrain.Useittohavefun.Makeitfuntobefreeofdrugs.
18UsetheTelephoneThereisnotalwaysameetingtogotoattheexactmomentwefeelweneedone.TheremaybenootherN.A.memberspresentwhenweneedtheirsupportorcounsel.Thetelephonethencanbecomeavitalpartofourrecoveryprocess.
AskthoseyoumeetinN.A.forphonenumbers.Theywillbegladtofurnishthem.Theywillbehappytoreceivecallswhenweneedtotalktosomeonewhohasexperiencedthesameproblemswehavewithouttakingdrugs.
Wearen'tcallingsomeonetotalkusoutofusingdrugs.Thepurposeistolearnhowtonotwanttouseeveninperiodsofstress.
Itismucheasiertostaycleanifwehavesomeonetotalktowhoknowswhatwearegoingthroughbecauseheorshehasalreadysurvivedthesameorasimilarexperience.
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Itisanevenbetterideatophoneothermemberswhenthereisnoimmediateproblem.Itisawaytokeepintouch,tokeepN.A.principleshandyinourdefensearsenal.RememberwhenwecallanyN.A.memberwearealsohelpingthatpersonexperiencethelovingbondthatexistsbetweenthosededicatedtostayingoffdrugsandbecominghealthyhumanbeings.
Donottakeitasapersonalaffrontifsomeonewecallhappenstobetoobusyatthemomenttotalk.Theotherpersonmightbeinthemidstofanimportantactivityandcannotbeinterrupted.Wecanacceptthatthefirstpersonwasbusyandcallsomeoneelse.
Wemustneverdependexclusivelyononeperson,notevenwhenmakinganemergencyphonecall.Wecanpickupthephoneagainandcallsomeoneelseinthefellowship.Thatiswhyweneedalotofphonenumbers.
Usuallythememberwecallwillbedelightedtohearfromus.Wemayhavetolearntoallowenoughtimetotalksowedonothavetocutoffthepersonbeforeheorshefeelslikeendingtheconversation.
Weallknowmeetingshelpusstayclean.Insomeareastherearemanymeetingsortheremaybeonlyafewwithhoursordaysbetweenthem.Butcallinganothermemberonthephonecanbecomeameetingbetweenmeetings.
ANarcoticsAnonymousmeetingisdefinedas"wheneverorwherevertwoormoreN.A.membersgathertogether."Fortunately,whentherearenoscheduledgatheringsN.A.memberscangettogetheronthetelephone.
Wedonothavetofeelembarrassedtocalllateatnightwhenwefeelweneedhelp.Oursisadiseaseofisolation.Wemustdosomethingtogetoverourdeliberateloneliness.Wecanalwaysphonesomeone.
Wecangetextremelylonelywhenwe'rewideawakeandworryingintheweehours.Weneedsupportnomatterwhattimeitis.Wewillgetit.N.A.memberscareabouteachother24hoursaday.
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Tentoone,whenweendtheconversationthepersonwehaveawakenedwillthankusforcalling.Withnewfriendsonlyaphonecallaway,whoneedstofeellonely?
Thetelephoneisagodsendtoaddictswhowanttorecover.Itcanbeusedtoaskwheremeetingsare,toseekadviceandsupport,tocallforhelp,ortospontaneouslygiveencouragementtosomeonewhocanuseit.
Manyofushavefoundithelpstocallafewmemberseverydaywhetherweneedtoornot.Itisawaytodevelopfriendsandhavefun.ItisoneofmanywaysN.A.givesustobeginhavingsuchgoodtimeswewouldnotthinkoflousingitupwithdrugs.
"Makesomeonehappy,"wasoncethejingleofatelephonecompanycommercialontelevision.Wecanrememberthisandcallsomeoneintheprogram.MakeanotherN.A.memberhappy.Itwillmakeushappytoo.
19ChooseaSponsorBeforewehavebeeninNarcoticsAnonymousverylongwewillbegintospotcertainmemberswhohavethekindofrecoverywewant.Wediscoverwecantrustsuchpeoplewithsecretsaboutourselvesthatwewouldnotadmittoothers.Wemaydecidetoasksuchapersontobeoursponsor.
N.A.membersoftensaythatchoosingagoodsponsorcanmakeabigdifferencebetweenrecoveringandnotrecovering.
TheprimarypurposeofasponsoristohelpusunderstandtheTwelveStepstorecoverywellenoughtopracticetheminallouraffairs.A
recoveringaddictwhoagreestosponsoruswilltrytoguideusfromStepOnethroughStepTwelve.AgoodsponsorwilltrytoanswerourquestionsabouttheStepsandadviseushowtopracticethem.
Beforeselectingasponsoritishelpfultoknowwhatasponsorcanbeexpectedtodoforus.Itisalsohelpfultorecognizewhatheorsheisnotqualifiedtodo.
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AsponsorshouldhelpustakeeachofthefollowingSteps.TheseTwelveStepsaretheonlyprogramofrecoveryofferedbyNarcoticsAnonymous.
1.Weadmittedwewerepowerlessoveraddiction,thatourliveshadbecomeunmanageable.
2.WecametobelievethataPowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.
3.WemadeadecisiontoturnourwillandourlivesovertothecareofGodasweunderstoodHim.
4.Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.
5.WeadmittedtoGod,toourselvesandtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.
6.WewereentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectsofcharacter.
7.WehumblyaskedHimtoremoveourshortcomings.
8.Wemadealistofallpersonswehadharmedandbecamewillingtomakeamendstothemall.
9.Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewhereverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.
10.Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventoryandwhenwewerewrongpromptlyadmittedit.
11.WesoughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveourconsciouscontactwithGodasweunderstoodHim,prayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.
12.Havinghadaspiritualawakeningastheresultofthesesteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetoaddicts,andtopracticetheseprinciples
inallouraffairs.
TheseTwelveStepsareourentireprogramofrecovery.Howoursponsorshelpusunderstandandfollowthesesimpleyetdifficultsuggestionsisbetweenthemandus.WecanbesuretopickasponsorwhowethinkknowsalotabouttheseSteps.
ThefriendwetrusttoguideusintheStepsshouldsuggestwegotoalotofN.A.meetings,butheorsheshouldalsoletusdecidewhichmeetingsweattend.
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AnN.A.traditionstatesthat"theprimarypurposeofanN.A.groupistocarrythemessagetotheaddictwhostillsuffers."ThemessagereferstotheTwelveSteps.StepTwelvesays,"Havinghadaspiritualawakeningastheresultofthesesteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetoaddicts...."
Wecan'texpectasponsortodoourprogramforus.Wemustlearntodothatforourselves.Inselectingasponsor,wecan'tseeksomeonewhowehopewillnagusintogoingtomeetings,readingtheliterature,ortakingtheSteps.Justlookforsomeonewhoistrustworthytoanswerourquestionsabouttheprogram.Wecanfindasponsorwhoiswillingtoshareexperiencesowewillnothavetomakethesamemistakesheorshemade.
Lookforasponsorwhowillprovideinformationratherthanmanagement.Trynottochooseonewhoisstillstrugglingwithrecovery.Wewanttolearnhowtogetwell,notstayillwithasponsorwhoisnotrecovering.
Itisasignofcontinuedillnessifasponsortriestomanageourpersonalaffairs.ThepurposeofasponsoristoassistusinapplyingN.A.'sTwelveStepstoourlives,nottellushowtomanageourunmanageableproblems.Bewarethesponsorwhosays,"Iadmitmylifeisunmanageable,"whiletryingtomanageourproblems.
Asponsorisnotalawyer,theologian,psychologist,financialplanner,orsextherapist.AnN.A.sponsorisusuallyanamateurinthesefieldswithplentyofpersonalfailurestoproveit.Isitlogicaltoexpectasponsorwhocannotmanagehisorherlifetomanageours?
Mostofall,asponsorshouldbeourfriend.PicksomeonewhowewanttobeourfriendandhasrecoveredbypracticingallTwelveSteps.
Agoodwaytotestapotentialsponsoristoseekadviceabouta
personalmatter.Iftheprospectpreciselydetailshowtohandleaproblem,passthatpersonby.LookforasponsorwhowillshowushowtoapplyN.A.'sTwelveStepstotheproblem.TheTwelveStepsaretheonlysolutionN.A.offerstoanydifficulty.
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Whenwefindthepersonwewouldliketobeoursponsor,wejustask.Ifthatpersonsaysyes,wehaveasponsor.Iftheresponseisno,wekeeplooking.
AnyrecoveringN.A.memberoughttobewillingtohelpanothermember.ItdoesnotrequiremuchtimeorenergytoanswerquestionsabouthowtoworktheTwelveStepsifthesponsorrefrainsfrommeddlinginpersonalaffairs.
Wehavelostnothingifthepersonweaskalreadysponsorstoomanytotakeonanother.AsponsorwhomindshisorherownbusinessstickstoadvisingabouttheSteps.Suchapersoncansponsormanypeople.Onewhomeddlestoomuchintothepersonallivesofthoseheorshesponsorswillhavetimeto''manage"onlyafew.Thefirstisthekindofsponsortolookfor.
Changingsponsorsshouldnotbeabigdealeither.Weneednot"fire"onesponsortoadoptanother.Thereisnorequirementtomentionit.Wecanjuststartaskingsomeoneelsewhowefeelismorequalifiedtoanswerourquestions.
Thereisnolawagainsthavingmorethanonesponsor.Wecanhaveasmanyaswelike.
Weneednoteveninformthepersonwechoosethatheorsheisoursponsor.Tooformalasponsorshipmighttemptanotherall-too-humanaddicttotrytomanageourlife.
Allweneedissomeonewhowecanconfidein,someonequalifiedtotellushowtoapplytheprogramtolife'sproblemsinsteadofusingdrugs,someonewhoisanexampleofhowtogetwell.
Weshouldnotlookforafather,mother,brother,sister,manager,nagger,orboss.Aboveallwedonotwishtobecomedependentuponevenoneotherhumanbeing.N.A.andoursponsorshouldteachusto
dependonlyuponourHigherPower.
Bewareofthesponsorwhofiresthosewhodonotobeyorders.Recoveringsponsorshumblyservethosewhowanttogetwell.Theyneithergiveordersnorfireanybody.
Whenwechooseasponsor,wecanstartbydefiningwhatwewant.WecanaskourchoicetohelpuspracticetheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous.Thatistheproperroleofasponsor.
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20DealPositivelyWithInsomniaMostofushaveaterribletimetryingtosleepatnightwhencomingoffdrugs.Thefirstthingtorememberisthatitisnotdangeroustolieawakeatnight.Noonediesfromlackofsleep.
Tryingtofallasleepneverworks.Itisnotsomethingweaccomplishbytrying.Infact,tryingtomakeourselvesgotosleepactuallykeepsusawake.
Insteadoffranticallyattemptingtogotosleep,wecantakeourtimeandexperimentanotherway.Wecandecidenottocarewhetherwefallasleepornot.Somefindnotcaringwhetherwedropoffornotcancauseustodozeoff.
Makeuseofthequietwhileawakeinthenight.UseittopracticetheFirstStep.Justasweadmittedourpowerlessnessoveraddiction,wecanlookatourinsomniainthesameway.LetourHigherPowerhandleboth.
Musicmayhelpstillourracingbrains.ReadingisalsoanoldstandbyforinsomniacsinandoutofN.A.Pickupabookandreadit.ReadNarcoticsAnonymousandlearnmoreaboutrecovery.
NewcomerstoN.A.sometimespanicwhentheyareunabletofallasleepinthemiddleofthenight.Wemustresistthecunning,baffling,andpowerfulinsanitythatitwouldbebettertotakeachemicaltohelpusfallasleep.
Itisnotofteninthisnoisy,fast-pacedworldthatwecanenjoysolitude.IthelpsusthroughalongnighttothankGodfortherareopportunitysleeplessnessoffersustocherishpeaceandquietseldom
availablebyday.
Wecanwrapdarknessarounduslikealover'sarms.Listentotinysoundsinthedark.Trytofigureoutwhattheyare.Makeagameofthenight.
UsuallywhenwegiveuptryingtogotosleepandletourHigherPowerhaveHiswaywewakeupalltoosoontofinditismorning.Wewonderwhathappenedtothestillofthenightwewereonlybeginningtoenjoywhenwefellasleep.
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Intheeveningsthatfollow,wecantryagaintousequietdarknessforsomethingbetterthansleep.Thistimeusetheweehoursofpeaceandsilencetomeditate.ThankGodforsuchraremomentsoftranquility.
Solitudeisagift.Letuscherishitthefewtimesitcomesourway,especiallyatnight.
21AnalyzeClichésInadditiontothesloganstherearemanyclichésrepeatedoverandoveragaininNarcoticsAnonymous.ThesebromidesarenosubstituteforworkingtheTwelveStepprogramofrecovery.Howevertherearetruthstobelearnedfrommostofthem,andfalsehoodstobewareofinsomeofthem.
PerhapsthemostcommonoftheseisKISS,whichstandsforKeepItSimple,Stupid.Thefirstthreewordsaregoodadvice.Thehumoroussalutationofthefourthwordismisleading.Stupidisusedonlyinjest.Nooneintendstoimplythatthoseofuswhoquitenaturallycomplicatemostthingsinourlives,includingourownrecovery,arestupid.Wearehuman,notstupid.
KeepingitsimplemeansstickingtotheTwelveSteps.Dowhattheysaywithoutinterpretingthem.TheStepsareexplicitlywrittenandmeanwordforwordexactlywhattheysay.
KeepitSimplemeansdonotcomplicateanySteptomakeitsaywhatwethinkitoughttomean.Itmeans,donotreviseasingleStep.
AdherepreciselytothesuggestionsmadeineachStep,onethroughtwelve,torecoverfromdrugaddiction.Itmeans,followthesimpleorderoftheSteps.
LaterwhenwehaverecoveredthroughpracticingallTwelveStepswewilllearntopickwhichStepstoselectivelyapplytoproblemsastheyarise.ButthenewcomerisadvisedtoKeepItSimple.
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DotheStepsinorderthefirsttimearound.Thiswillkeepusbusyenoughforsometimetocome.NobodycandoallTwelveStepsovernight.
IfwegetfrantictryingtojuggletheseunfamiliarStepsorfromillogicallyskippingbackandforthamongthem,webecomevulnerable.Anxiety,evenovertheSteps,isanunhealthystateofmindforanewlycleanaddict.
SerenityshouldgraduallyincreaseaswemovelogicallyfromtheFirstStep,wherewerecognizeourdisease,totheTwelfthStep,wherewecarrywhatwe'velearnedtootheraddicts.
DonotbeafraidtoaskforhelpfromasponsororanotherrecoveringN.A.memberwhoappearstobecalm.Heedadvicewhichseemsuncomplicated.UsuallythatadviceshouldbetoturnourlifeovertoourHigherPower'scare.WecangiveourHigherPowerfullchargeofourwillandthentrustit.Getusedtoonemethodofconfrontingproblems.AlwaysturntotheStepsandthosewhocanhelpworkthem.
Meanwhilestayascalmaspossible.Thesimplerourthinkingbecomesthemoresanelywebehave.Keepingitsimpleatleastgivesusmomentaryserenity.
InsteadofKeepItSimple,Stupid,KISSshouldstandfor,KeepItSimpleandSerene.
Anotherclichéwhichcanbehelpfulorharmful,dependingonhowitisapplied,isHALT.HALTstandsforHungry,Angry,Lonely,andTired.
Whenwebecometoohungry,tooangry,toolonely,tootired,oranycombinationofthesestateswebecomemorevulnerablethanwhenwearewell-fed,calm,ingoodcompany,andwell-rested.Butour
programmustbesomethingotherthantryingtototallyavoidbeinghungry,angry,lonely,ortired.OneofthefirstthingsweadmittointhisprogramisthatourlivesarenotmanageablebyusoranyoneelseexceptourHigherPower.
Hunger,anger,loneliness,andbeingtiredshouldsimplyputusonguard.Atsuchvulnerabletimesweturntooursponsor,meetings,literature,andtheStepstoseeussafelythrough.
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Obviouslywetrynottounnecessarilybecometoohungry,angry,lonely,ortired.Butwhenwefindourselvesinastatewhichoncewouldhavemovedustoseeksolaceindrugs,wenowseeksustenancefromN.A.friends,literature,andtheSteps.
Whenwefindourselvesexcessivelyhungry,angry,lonely,ortired,HALT!Wecanstopwhatwearedoingorfeelingforawhile.Turntotheprogram.GethelpfromNarcoticsAnonymous.
Thatiswhattheprogramisallabout.
OneofthemostusefulclichésheardaroundtheworldisStayOutofSlipperyPlaces.
Nomatterhowdeterminedwethinkwearetonotusedrugsagain,itmakesnosensetohangoutinplaceswhereothersgotogetstoned.Nothingcanbegainedfromreturningtothesceneofthecrime,butmuchcanbelost.Wecanlosebothourmindsandourlives.
Oldhabitsarehardtobreak.Socializingwiththeoldgangweuseddrugswithmayputmoretemptationdirectlyunderournosesthanwecanstand.Notonlyaretheexamplesofthosearoundusbad,buttheavailabilityofourfavoriteorotherdrugsmaybemorethanwecanhandle.
Somepeoplebelievewewhoinsistonfrequentingdrugusers'environmentsarenotputtingenoughroombetweenournewchanceforlifeandourolddisastrouswayofexisting.
Whatisthereinanoldhauntforarecoveringaddictwhowantstobeclean?Arewestillsofascinatedwiththelife-stylethatbroughtusgrovelingonourkneesforhelpthatwecannotdowithoutit?Themainattractionofthatscenewasthedrugs,andweclaimtowanttostayfreeofthat.Whatwouldwewanttogobacktoouroldhauntsforotherthanthedrugs?Thepeople?Thosewhohangoutinsuchplaces
arestoned.Dowewanttojointhem?
Letusnotkidourselves.Wantingtohangaroundotherswhoarestillusingisasuresignwetoowanttouseagain.Wemuststayoutofslipperyplacesifwedonotwanttorelapse.
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Therearealotmoreclichés.Analyzethem.Lookforthegoodandthebadinthem.Useonlythegood.AndrememberthatthemostusefulclichésareonlytemporarytooktohelpusstaycleanlongenoughtoworkourfullTwelveStepprogramofrecovery.
22ConfrontResentmentsResentmentisthemostdangeroustimebombaddictsconfront.Wehavealreadydiscussedtheunlikelihoodofalwaysbeingabletoavoidanger.Resentmentishangingontoanger,anditcankillus.
Resentmentdoesnothingtothepersonorpersonsweresent.Ithasnoeffectonthem.Itonlyaffectsus.Itmakesusmiserable.Resentmentisnotonlysustainedanger,itisperpetualmiserymiserypreservedindefinitely.
Resentmenthasbeenusedmorethananyotheremotionasanexcusetoreturntodrugs.Justifiableresentmenthasbeenespeciallyused.Justifiableresentmentiswhensomeoneelsehasdonesomethingsoawfultousthatwethinkwearejustifiedinfeelingmiserable.
Feelingmiserablelongenoughcanmakeusfeelrighteousaboutseekingrevenge.Foranaddictthisoftenmeansgettingstonedagainjusttogetbackatthepersonwhohurtus.Buttheonlyonewhogetshurtistheaddict.
Gettingstonedatsomeoneweresentmakesaslittlesenseaspunchingourselvestogetevenwithanotherperson.Yetwedoit.Wenurtureourresentmentswithapassionequaledonlybyoursubconsciousdesiretoreturntodrugsatanyexcuse.
Nothingiseasiertofindthaninjusticedonetousbysomeoneelse,
evenbysomeonewelove."I'llshowthatso-and-so,"wecryaswereachforthedrug."Thisisherfault,notmine!"
Manyanaddicthasblamedhisorherreturntoaddictiononaloverorspouse.Butitwasnottheloverwhodidthegreatestwrong.Theaddictdidittohimselforherselfwithdrugs.
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Justifiableresentmentsthatwenurseandpreservealltoooftenleadtoirrationalbehavior.Foranaddict,thatcanmeanusingdrugs.Whatelsecouldcalmusdownfromanythingascomplexas"irrationalrationalization"ofirrationalbehavior?Ifwewanttosurviveascleanaddicts,wemustdosomethingaboutourresentmentsassoonastheystarttobuild.Wecangetridofthembyaquickerandsaferwaythanbydriftingofftodoomsdayonacloudofdeadlydrugs.Therehastobeabetterwaytohandleresentmentsthantousedrugs.
Thereareseveralways.
Wecancloseoureyes,visualizethepersonweresentandenvelopethatpersoninlight.Itisnoteasytocontinueresentingsomeoneweseebathedinourownlight.
Wecanprayfortheoneweresent.Itisverydifficulttoresentandprayforsomeoneatthesametime.
Sometimesourresentmentsaresodeeprootedwefinditalmostimpossibletobathethesourceofourmiseryinlightortoprayforthepersonwesovividlyhate.Whatthenarewetodo?
Wecanapplyalittlereasontoourresentment.Wecanremembertheotherpersonmaybeassickasweareorwere.Thatperson'sactionorlackofactionwefeelsojustifiedinresentingmaybeonlyasymptomofhisorherillness.Insteadofresentingthatothersickperson,wecouldfeelsorryfortheoneweresent.Itishardtoresentapersonwefeelsorryfor.
Itisalsodifficulttofeelsorryforsomeonewereallyresent.Thereisasurewaytogetridofaresentment:wecanforgivethepersonweresent.Thatshoulddoit.Forgivethatotherperson.Thenwecanforgiveourselves.Theresentmentwillbegone.
Andremember,evenajustifiableresentmentisnotacceptableasan
excusetousedrugs.
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23BewareofSelf-PityToomuchconcentrationonourselvesisnotagoodwaytocomfortablystayclean.Theworstkindofself-obsessioniswhenwefeelsorryforourselves.
Self-pitycanbethemostpervasiveofallemotions.Thinkingabouthowbadthingsaregoingforuscompletelyblocksoutanyviewofhowwellthingsmightbegoing.Onelittlediscomfortingexperiencecansowrapusupinourmiserythatwewillbeunabletorecognizeopportunitiesforjoyandsuccess.
"Poorme.Woeisme!"Self-commiserationstothateffectareoftenthelastwordsofanaddictbeforereturningtotheallenveloping,futileindulgenceoftryingtosmotherourtroubleswithdrugs.Webecometotallyabsorbedwithourselveswhenthingsdonotgoourway.OuronlythoughtofourHigherPoweristoblameHimforlettingwhateverbothersushappentous.
WefeelbetrayedbypeopleandbyourHigherPower.Bewareofsuchexaggeratedconcernoverhowbadlyweallowourselvestofeelovermattersbeyondourcontrol.TemporarydisillusionmentwithGodcantemptustopermanentlyturnbacktotheonlyotherHigherPowerwehaveevertrustedinacrisis.Inthethroesofshamelessself-pitywemightfireGodandemploydrugs.
Acceptthebadaswhatnormallyaccompaniesthegood.WinstonChurchilldescribedlifeasachainmadeupoflinksofpainjoinedtogetherbylinksofpleasure.Whatistobegainedfromdrivingourselvesdeeperintodepressionbyceaselesslybellyachingtoourselvesaboutourmisfortunes?Letusrememberthelowswe
experiencearealwaysfollowedbyhighs.
Anothercliché,LiveinthePresent,isgoodadvicewhenthingsaregoingwell.Butwhentheworldcomestumblingdownitisbettertoforgetaboutlivinginthenowandadoptanothercliché,ThisTooShallPass.
Remember,everylowisfollowedbyahighunlesswefeelsosorryforourselveswedonotallowittohappen.
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GetOffthePityPotisanotherclichéwecanapplytoourselveswhenfeelinglow.Orwecanusethegoldenrule:Dountootherswhatyouwouldhavethemdountoyou.
Wecangetoutofourmiserybyhelpingsomeoneelse.ThereareplentyofmiserablepeopletohelpinN.A.Someofthemarejustcomingoffdrugs.Others,likeourselves,haveforgottentherealmiserythatmadeusaskforhelpinthefirstplace.
Wecouldbeoutthereusingagain.Nothingthathappenstouswhenwe'recleancanbeasbadaswhatcanhappenifwereturntotakingdrugs.
Whenfeelinglow,thefirstthingtodoiscontactanotherN.A.memberorgotoameeting.Ifthatisnotpossible,startreadingrecoveryliterature.Orpray.AskGod'sforgivenessforblamingourproblemsonHim.
GoingtoothersintheprogramintimesofdespairwillexposeustoN.A.optionsforhandlingproblems.Wealsowilllearnwearenotalone.Whateverisbotheringusenoughtomakeussinktofeelingsorryforourselveshashappenedrepeatedlytoothersinthefellowship.Askhowtheygotoverit.Dowhattheydidandwewillgetoverittoo.
Nomatterwhat,self-pityisnotavalidreasonfortakingdrugs.
24EnjoyLifebutBewareofOverconfidenceWecanbecomealmostasvulnerablefromfeelingtoohighaswhenwefeeltoolow.Feelingoverlyelatedcanmakeusoverconfident.Overconfidencemaymakeuscarelessaboutworkingourprogram.
Gettingcockycanpoiseusprecariouslyoverthedeependoftemptationtouseagain.
TheunexpectedlymarvelousfeelingofbeingcleanforawhilehasmisledmanyaninexperiencedN.A.membertothinkheorshehasbeencuredenoughtousedrugsagain.Thatshouldnotbesurprising.Wealwaysfeltoverconfidentafterwe
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hadtemporarilyrefrainedfromgettingloadedforawhile.Italwaysfeltgood.
"Ifeelgoodenoughtouseagain,"weusedtotellourselveswhenwehadtemporarilyrecoveredfromaboutofdrugsthathaddraggedussolowwehadtolayoffforatime.ThedifferenceisthatnowinN.A.weknowweneverreallygetoverit.
Wemustbelievewecanneveragainsuccessfullyuseanyformofmood-alteringsubstance.Doesthatmeanweshouldavoidgettinghighwithoutdrugs?Certainlynot.Weshouldtakeadvantageofeveryopportunitytoachievedrug-freehighs.Thereareplentyofthingstomakeusfeelgoodwithoutdrugs.
Goodfood,music,books,nature,sex,friends,sports,movies,thetheater,dances,andtravelareafewways.Marriage,jobpromotion,orbusinesssuccesscandoitforus.Itmakesnosensetoavoidlivinglifetothefullestjustbecausewearen'tusingdrugs.
Nomatterhowgoodwefeel,wearestilladdicts.Theuseofdrugstocelebratemakesusfeelashighasakitebutwewillalwayssinkintothethree-Ddepthsofdisaster,despair,anddepression.Itisnotmuchofafallfromheaventohell.Mostofushavealreadyseenaddictedfriendsaddthefourthdimensionofusingagain.Whycourtdeathwithdrugsasthepriceforgettingtoohighonlifewhenwecanstayclean?
Justrememberonething.Whenwefeelhighwithoutdrugs,thatisashighasweneedtoget.Drugswillnottakeusanyhigher.Drugswillshootusdown.
Whenmiraculousthingshappentoourcleanlife,enjoythemtothehilt.Feelingtoogoodwouldbearidiculousreasontogamblewithdrugs.Quittingiswhatmadeusfeelgood.Wecanstaycleanwhileweareahead.
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25RememberOurLastDrugHighWecan'tforgetwhathappenedthelasttimeweuseddrugs.Addictstendtorememberonlywhatwasgoodaboutusingdrugs.Whenwedreamaboutthepastweskipoverthelastmiserableexperiencewehadwithusingdrugs.Wegoclearbacktoatimewhenthedrugsworkedforusandmadeusfeelgood.Whowouldnotgobacktousingifitwouldbethewayitoncewaswhendrugsdidwhatwewanted?
Well,itdoesnotworkthatway.Foranaddictthereisnogoingbacktothegoodolddays.Eventhoseofuswhomanagedtostopbeforewehitabsolutebottomwillneverbeabletoreturntowhereweonceenjoyedgettinghighondrugs.
Wecanrememberhowlowwegotthelasttime.Addictionisaprogressivedisease.Ourfavoritesubstancewillknockusevenlowerifwetryitagain.Itwillbeasifwehadneverstoppedatall,sorememberhowbaditgotinsteadofhowgooditoncewas.Imaginehowitwillbewhenitgetsevenworse.Thereisnoturningback.Whenitcomestodrugs,wecannotgohomeagain.Itisalloverforusinthedrugusingdepartment.Ifwetryitagainitcouldverywellbealloverforusineverydepartment.
Stayingcleanisnotalottery.Wedonotgetlotsofchances.Theremaybeonlyonechance.Onceclean,wehavewon.Allweneeddotohangontoourwinningsisstayclean.
Donotfallvictimtotheyets.Incomparingourhistorywithothers'takecarenottoassumewecansafelyreturntousingbecausewehavenotsunkasmiserablylowasothersinthefellowship.Wecan'ttell
ourself,''Ihaven'tbeenbusted.Ihaven'tturnedtodealingorstealingtosupportmyhabit.Ihaven'tbeentreatedatahospitalforoverdose,beendivorced,orbeendisownedmyfamily.Ihaven'tlostmyjoborendedupinaninstitution,somaybeI'mnotreallyanaddict."
Ifwereturntousingdrugs,wecouldverywellfindourselvesbusted,firedfromourjobs,orfacingavarietyofothernegativeconsequences,includingdeath.
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Mostofall,wecankeepaclearpictureinourcleanmindsabouthowwretcheditwasthelasttimewegotstoned.Rememberthefear,despair,demoralization,andphysicalproblemsweexperiencedthelasttimewegothigh.
Ifwecannotrememberhowawfulitwas,wecantakeagoodlookatashattereddisbelieverwhodecidedtotryitagain.Wecanseehowthispersontookthelastchanceandappearstobehopelesslyaddicted.
Forthoseofuswhokeeptryingtouseagain,theyetswillcometrue.Allthebadthingsmaynothavehappenedtousyet,buttheywillifweforgetwhywehadtostopusing.
Rememberingourmiseryinthepasthelpsusstaycleaninthenow.
26BeGratefulAnN.A.memberwhoisgratefulforbeingcleanisnotapttouseagain.Beingungratefulforourrecoverymeanswehavenotrecoveredatall.
Whatdidwehavebeforewegothere?Wehadalifefullofproblemswithonlythetemporarysolutionofusingdrugs.Whatdowehavenow?Westillhavealifefilledwithproblems.Butnowwehavetwelveremarkablewaystogetthroughourdifficulties.Wehaveasolutiontoproblemsmoreeffectiveandlastingthandrugs.WehaveTwelveStepstohelpussurviveourproblems.
Thepredicamentsoflivingarejustasrealforarecoveringaddictastheyareforthepracticingaddict.Infact,theyaremorereal.Ascleanpeople,painhurtsusmorenowthanitdidwhilewewereusingdrugs.Onlynowweacceptpainandgetthroughitwiththeknowledgethat
wearegoingtofeelgreatontheotherside.Weshouldbegratefulforthat.
PracticingtheTwelveStepsisnotawaytoavoidcatastrophiesandannoyancesofeverydayliving.TheStepsonly
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helpustosurvivemisfortunesanddiscomfortsoflife.Theyhelpuscomeoutsmiling.Isthatnotsomethingtobethankfulabout?
Ifwefeelsorryforourselvesbecausewecannotusedrugsanymore,weareungrateful.HowcanwethankaGodwefeelhasplayedadirtytrickonusbydeprivingusofourfavoritedrugs?
Gratitudeisastateofgrace.Eitherwearegratefulorwearenot.Ifnot,canwemakeourselvesfeelthankful?Wecanifwestoptocountourblessings.
Wecanthinkagainabouthowwewerewhendrugsbetrayedusandhowwearenow.Donotlookbackuponthegoodtimesthatprecededthebad.Wecanonlyrecalltheworstofourdrug-usingdays.
Gratitudecanbedevelopedbycountingthegoodthingsinourlivesinsteadofthebad.Fivepercentofourexperiencescanmakeusfeelawfulifweignorethe95percentofwhatmakesusfeelgood.
Shrugoffthesmallpartoflivingthatseemstogowrong.ThankGodforthehealthyportionoflifethatgoesright.
AskwhysomanyrecoveringN.A.membersaregratefultheyareaddicts.TheywilltellustheyaregratefulbecauseiftheyhadnotbeenaddictedtodrugstheymightneverhavegottenintoN.A.WithoutN.A.theymightneverhaveheardoftheTwelveSteps.TheymighthavecontinuedtodisbelieveinaHigherPowerortheirfellowhumans.Theycouldhavediedthinkinglifeconsistedonlyofgettingstonedandtakingmoredrugstotrytoavoidwithdrawal.
"ThankGodI'manaddict!"therecoveringN.A.memberwillexclaim."IfIweren'tImightneverhavegottentothisprogramandlearnedhowtolive."
ThereismuchmoretoNarcoticsAnonymousthangettingoffdrugs.N.A.teachesushowtolivelifetothefullestwhilewearecleanand
toenjoythewonderofreality.
ThankGodfornewfriends,thegreatmissionofcarryingthemessageoftheTwelveStepstootheraddicts,andhelpingresurrectthemtoahappylife.Thesearethingstobegratefulfor.
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Someold-timersusetwoone-wordprayersatthebeginningandendofeachday.WhentheywakeupinthemorningtheylookuptoGodandsay,"Please."Whentheyarereadytogotosleepatnighttheylookupagainandsay,"Thanks."
ItisimpossibletousewhilethankingourGodandourfellowN.A.membersforkeepingusclean.
27BeGoodtoOurselvesOneofthebestwaystoavoiddrugsistokeephappyandbegoodtoourselves.
AtfirstsomeofusenteringN.A.aresuspiciousofthosememberswhoappeartobehavingagoodtimewhiletheyareclean.Allthathuggingandlaughingatmeetings,shoutingandlaughteratN.A.dances,andslappingoneanotheronthebackdoesnotseemrighttous.
"Thisisalifeanddeathbusiness,"somewillcorrectlytellus,addingwithadashofdiscouragement,"Youhadbettertaketheprogramseriouslyoryoumaydie."
Itisseriousbusiness,butthatdoesnotmeanitisagainsttherulestohavefun.WecanenjoyourselveswhileadheringtotheTwelveStepsofrecovery.Infact,theywillhelpusenjoyourselvesmore.
Someofususeddrugstohavefun.Nowwecanlearntohavefunwithoutthem.Wearedoingsomethingaboutourproblem.Wedeservetorewardourselvesfortryingtostraightenoutourlives.
Wehaveearnedtherighttoeatgoodfood,takelongwalks,enjoygoodbooks,gotothemovies,andgenerallyhaveagoodtime.Wedo
notneedanyoneelsetogiveusthesethings.Wecangivethemtoourselves.Wedeservethem.
Enjoyingthepleasureallarounduswillhelpkeepusfromwantingtouseagain.
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Wedonothavetogooverboardinseekingthesejoys.Enjoyinggoodfooddoesnotmeanbecomingcompulsiveovereaters.Beingwell-fedwillhelpkeepthatoldgnawingfordrugsawayaslongaswedonotoverdoit.Thereisnothingtobegainedfromexchangingoneself-destructivecompulsionforanother.Beinggoodtoourselvesincludestakingcareofourhealth.
Exerciseisawaytobegoodtoourselves.Wecangetourbodiesbackinshapeinordertobetterenjoythem.Therearelotsoffunwaystoworkout.Exercisereleasestensionsthatmaytemptusbacktousing.
Camping,fishing,goingtoartgalleries,shopping,anddatingareallactivitiestomakeourselveshappy.Hobbiesaregoodreplacementsfordrugs.Sailing,snorkeling,scubadiving,andsurfingarehealthywaystohavefun.
Theimportantthingistohavefun.Ifweenjoyourselvesenoughwhilewe'reclean,wewon'tdreamoflousingitupbyreturningtoouroldhabits.Wecangiveourselvesabreak.
Thereisabig,widewonderfulworldoutthere.Stayingcleanmakesitourstoenjoy.Goforit!
28AvoidAlcoholandOtherDrugOccasionsTosafelygethighonlifewithoutalcoholorotherdrugswehavetostopassociatingfunwithsubstance-orientedoccasions.Wemustbecomeawarethatpartieswhichroutinelyincludealcoholorotherdrugshavelittletoofferbeyondtemptationtogetstoned.
Ifwekeepgoingwherewealwayswentwewillcontinuetofindwhatwealwaysfound.Wecanhardlyavoidmiseryifwekeeplookingin
placeswealwaysfoundit.
ItisvitalthatanewcomerinN.A.learntosayno.Itmaybetoolatetosaynotodrugsifwecontinuallyputourselvesintemptingpositions.Itiseasiertosaynowhenwedonotdeliberatelyplaceourselvesinthewayoftemptation.
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Itmakesnosensetogoswimmingifwedonotwanttogetwet.Aswimishardtoresistwhensomeonesays,"Comeonin."
Inmostcases,whenwe'reinvitedtoapartywherealcoholorotherdrugswillbeservedallwehavetosayis,"Nothankyou."Itisthatsimple.Itmaynotbeeasyatfirst,butitissimple.Ifwewanttostayoutofharm'swaywecanpolitelyturndowntheinvitation.
Somepeoplemayinsistonknowingwhywedonotwishtoattendsocialeventswherealcoholorotherdrugswillbeused.It'sallrighttosay,"BecauseIamtryingtolayoffdrugsrightnow.ItwillbeeasierifIdon'tgotopartiesforawhile."
Ifourhostaskswhywearetryingtostayoffdrugs,wecancasuallysay,"Forreasonsofhealth,"whichistrue,or"IwanttoquitwhileI'mstillchamp,"whichishumorous.Orwecansay,"Ihavetobesomewhereelse,"whichisabsolutelytrueifwewanttostayclean.
Sometimesbusinessorfamilyfunctionsobligateustoattenddespitethefactthatalcoholorotherdrugswillbeserved.Forsuchacommandperformance,dojustthat.Appearandleave.
Mandatoryattendanceatapartywillnottemptusifwerememberwearethereoutofobligationandnottousealcoholorotherdrugs.Arequiredsocialfunctionwillnotreturnustousingdrugsunlesswedecidetouseitasanexcuse.
Cleanaddictsarelikesubjectsofhypnosis.Nothingcanmakeusdoanythingwedonotwanttodo.Wedonotusedrugsonlybecauseweareataparty.Weusethembecausewewantto.Unlesswearerequiredtobeatsuchaparty,wemayattendthepartybecausewesubconsciouslywanttouseagainmorethanwewanttostayclean.
Ifweattendapartyonlybecausesomethingotherthandrugsrequiresustobetherewewillbepreparednottorelapse.Wewilleitherbe
disinterestedindrugsorpreparedtoresistthem.Toremaininthatsafeframeofmindisagoodreasontodiscretelyleavethepartyassoonaspossible.
Commonsensetellsusthelessweexposeourselvestodrug-usingsituations,thelesschancethereisofusingsuchanoccasionasanexcusetodropoutofN.A.
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Ifwestillfindourselvesuncertainaboutwhetherornottoexposeourselvestothedangersofasocialfunctionwhereweknowalcoholandotherdrugswillbeserved,wecanaskoursponsororanotherrecoveringN.A.memberforcounsel.OraskourHigherPower.
IfasituationsuddenlyariseswhentherearenoN.A.memberstoconsult,wecansummonallthecommonsensewepossess.Tostayawayfromdrugs,wecanavoidplaceswheretheyareeasytoget.Wecangetawayfromthefireunlesswewanttogetburned.
29ChangeDailyHabitsUsingdrugswasahabit.Acquiringdrugswasahabit.Thetimewemadeforobtainingandingestingdrugshadbecomeroutine.Ourentirepatternoflivinghadbeenbuiltaroundspecificwaysandmeansofobtainingandusingthesubstanceswehadbecomedependentupon.Whatwedidwhileweweren'tusingdrugshadalsobecomepartofourschemeforgettingaroundtousingdrugs.
Formostofus,lifehadbecomeaclankingchainmadeupoflinksofgettingstonedandlinksoffeverishactivitytosupportourhabit.Nowthatthedrugisgone,onlythelinksoffeverishactivityremain.
Anaddictrecentlyoffmood-alteringsubstancesislikelytoretainthepanicthatformerlykepthimorhersupplied.Atfirstweareapttoheadforallthesameplacesanddoallthesamethingswedidbetweenboutswithdrugs.Ifweallowourselvestofollowthesamechainofactivityeventhoughthedruglinksaremissingweareliabletomissthedrugsevenmore.
Sinceourlivesnowdependonstayingoffdrugsinsteadoffranticallymaneuveringtoobtainandusethemwemustbehaveeachdayina
newway.Ourroutinemustchange.Wemustlearntodothingsdifferentlythanwedidbefore.
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"Allweareaskedtodoischangeourcourse180degrees,"manyhavecommentedindescribingthenewwayoflifenecessarytostayclean.
Manycleannewcomershavefoundithelpstovaryeverythingtheydofromthewaytheyfunctionedwhilesupportingtheirhabit.Thismightbeginbygettingupatadifferenttime,prayingforhelptogetthroughtheday,ormeditating.
Forthoseofuswhodonothavejobs,wecanstartlookingforone.Forthoseofuswhousedtomakealivinginthedrugtrade,wemustgetoutofitnow.ThenotionthatgettingcleaninN.A.mightmakeyoumoreefficientandprosperousasadrugdealeristoofaroffthebeamtoevendiscuss.Manyhavehadtogetridofnotionslikethatinordertorecover.
ThoseofuswhoareusedtohangingoutonthestreetmustfindsomewhereindoorstominglewithcleanN.A.members.N.A.meetingsarewonderfulplacestomeetpeopleandlearnhowtorecoverbymeansoftheTwelveSteps.
Physicalexercisecanreplacethetimeweusedtodevotetodrug-relatedactivities.OftenwearriveinN.A.withlaggingphysicalstrength.Running,walking,pumpingiron,aerobicexercising,andotherwaystogetbackinshapeoffervarietyfromouroldroutinesforgettingthroughtheday.
Wecanstarttakingamoreactiveroleincommunityandworldlyawareness.Wecanstartwatchingthenewsontelevisionandreadinganewspapereveryday.Wemayevenwanttogetinvolvedatalocallevelasavolunteerstuffingenvelopesorringingdoorbellsforacandidateorcause.
Ifwefindmoretimeonourhandsthanweknowwhattodowith,wecantrygettingmoreeducation.Gobacktoschoolpart-timeorfull-time.Itisnevertoolatetolearnhowtobecomeafashiondesigneror
anairlinepilot.Thereisnoendofopportunitiestoimproveacleanmind.Thereisnolimittotheknowledgewecanabsorb.
Varyingdailybehaviorcaneliminatemanyofthosecommoninstanceswhenweusedtothinkofdrugs.Forawhile,ourdrugreflexesmaybetriggeredeverytimewereturntobehavioreven
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remotelysimilartothatwhichsurroundedourpastdrugusage.Changethesituationandwecanpreventthatreflex.
Wecanalterourdailyways.Ifwecreatenewcleanhabitstoreplacetheoldwecangiveourselvesadifferentperspectiveonlife.Wewillbeamazedathowmuchbrightereverythinglookswhenwegetoutofthebehavioralrutthatdrugskeptusin.
TheeasiestwaytoresistdrugsuntiltheTwelveStepstakeoveristoignorethem.Keepingdrugsoutofsightwillhelpkeepdrugsoutofmind.
30GotoN.A.MeetingsOnehabittoformimmediatelyistogotoalotofN.A.meetings.Whenwewonderhowoftentogo,considerhowoftenweuseddrugs.
Manyold-timersinN.A.advisenewcomersto,"Goto90meetingsin90days."
Whenanewcomerasks,"HowlongdoIhavetogotomeetingseveryday?"theansweris,"Youhavetokeepgoinguntilyouwanttogoeveryday."
Anotherwayofputtingitis,"Gotodailymeetingsuntilyoulearntopronounceanonymity.Continuetogountilyounolongercansayit."
Goingtoonemeetingeachweektakesabout52hoursand$52ayearofourtimeandmoney,providedwedropabuckintothebasketeachtime.Thatisnotmuchofaninvestmenttosaveourlives.
Mathematicallogicwillconcludethatapersonwhogoestomeetingstwotimesaweekwilllearntwiceasmuchinthesametimeasthe
memberwhogoestoonemeetingaweek.Thoseofuswhogotofiveweeklymeetingsgainfivetimesasmuchknowledgeasthosewhogoonceaweek.
N.A.memberswhogotomeetingseverydaywilltellusitbecomesacompulsiontoattend.Nodayseemsquitecomplete
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withoutameeting.Howmanymeetingswegotoisentirelyuptous.Itdependsonhowsoonwewanttobehappywithoutdrugs.
Thereisatraditionwhichstates,"Eachgrouphasbutoneprimarypurposetocarrythemessagetotheaddictwhostillsuffers."N.A.'sTwelveStepstorecoverymakeupthemessagereferredtointhistradition.TorecoverwemustheartheStepsreadaloudanddiscussedagainandagainuntilwegraduallytakethemall.
Thefewermeetingswegotothemorewehurt.TheworseourpaingetsthemorefrequentlyweneedtohearthemessageoftheTwelveSteps.StayingawayfrommeetingsisagoodwaynottohearN.A.'smessageveryoften.
OnlyourHigherPowercanpermanentlyrelieveusofdrugdependency.FrequentcontactwithourHigherPowerisouronlyhope.
NoneofusisindividuallycapableofmaintainingconstantcontactwiththatPowergreaterthanourselves.NomatterhowhardwetrytoworktheTwelveStepsthatputHiminchargeweconstantlytrytotakebackcontrolofouruncontrollablelives.
EverytimewetakechargeweneedtofindGodagainasquicklyaspossible.TheeasiestplacetocontactourHigherPowerisatanN.A.meeting.
Thereisasayingthat,"TheonlyonewhonevermissesanN.A.meetingisGod."
NarcoticsAnonymousmeetingsarelikelinksinachain.NooneisalwaysincontactwithGod.YetatanymomentofanN.A.meeting,someoneelseisincontactwiththeHigherPower.Whenwejointhoseincontact,therestofuscanlatchon.
ItisimpossibletoleaveanN.A.meetingwithouthavingexperienced
somesortofcontactwithaPowergreaterthanourselves.ThatPowerwillkeepuscleanuntilthenextmeetingifweletit.
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ThemorewegotomeetingsthebetterchanceourHigherPowercanhelpus.StayingawayfrommeetingsonlykeepsusapartfromGod.NoonewillingtogotoanylengthstostaycleanwilldeliberatelydodgetheonlyHigherPowerthatcansaveus.
JustastheprimarypurposeofanN.A.groupistocarrytheTwelveStepmessage,thesinglemostimportantreasonfornewcomerstoattendmeetingsistocontinuallyhearthatmessage.
Thereareotherfringebenefitsobtainablewhenwegettogethertoshareexperience,strength,andhopewithN.A.members.Firstamongtheseisfellowship.Itisremarkablyreassuringtoknowweareinaroomfilledwithothercleanaddictswhohaveexperiencedwhatwehave.Itisnicetoknowwecantalkaboutfearsanduncertaintiesoffacinglifewithoutdrugsandbeunderstoodbyotherswhohavefeltorarefeelingthesameemotions.
Mostofushavealwayswantedtobelongtosomething.Peerpressurefromagangorsocialgroupwewantedtobelongtoprobablygotusstartedondrugs.Wejoinedthosewesoughttoidentifywithbyusingwhattheywereusing.Andwhenwedidwedroppedevenfurtheroutofhumanity'sembracethanwehadalreadybeen.
Drugaddictionisadiseaseofisolation.Nomatterhowmanyusingfriendswetriedtosurroundourselveswithwewerealwaysalone.Wewillneverbeassolitaryasinthemiseryofourbetrayalbydrugs.WhenwearriveatN.A.'sdoorstepwearelonely.
NosocietyofmenandwomenismoreunitedandlovingthanN.A.Fellowsuffererswhohavegrownsickandtiredofbeingsickandtiredgathertogetherinlaughing,caringgroupsallovertheworld.Atlastwebelongtosomethingasbigastheearth.
AnotherN.A.traditionisthat,''Theonlyrequirementformembershipisadesiretostopusing."Thatsimplerequirementincludeseveryone
whosuffersfromdrugaddiction,yetonlythosewhohave"adesiretostopusing"canbelong.
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Forthoseofuswhohavebeenfeelingsorryforourselvesbecausewesufferourdisease,forgetit.Ifwehavebeencrying,"Whyme?"relax.Whynotme?Thereisnothingunusualaboutbeingaddicted.Itiscommonplace.ThereareaddictsatallsociallevelsfromParkAvenuepenthousestocellblocksofeverypenitentiaryontheplanet.Anyonecanbeanaddict.
Ifwewanttobespecial,wecanbeaddictswhodonotusedrugs.Thatistrulyspecial.OnlythoseofuswhoarespecialcanbecomemembersinthefellowshipofN.A.WehavereallyarrivedwhenwebecomeamemberofN.A.Atlastwebelongtoafellowshipofexceptionalmenandwomenwholoveus.
Inadditiontobeingthemostsuccessfuldrugrecoveryprograminhistory,N.A.membershipincludesavastvarietyofpeople.Memberscantraveltonearlyanycountryonearthandbeonafirstnamebasiswithlovingfriends.TheseN.A.meetingscanhelpusestablishfriendshipsandfindoutinformationwhenwefindouselvesawayfromhome.
TheprinciplesofgrouptherapyareatworkinanN.A.meeting.Whilesuchagatheringmaynotbethewisestforumtoairallourpersonalproblems,itisagreatplacetodiscussourproblemswithsomeonewhowefeelwecantrust.Sharingexperience,strength,andhopewithothermembersatameetingwillmakeusfeelbetternomatterhowfouledupthedaymayhaveseemedbeforethemeeting.Foranaddictwithaheachacheameetingisagoodsubstituteforaspirin.MoreachesandpainsenteranyN.A.meetingthanleaveit.
NewcomersmayatfirstbefrightenedbyallthehuggingthatgoesonatN.A.meetings.ButthevalueofN.A.huggingbecomesappreciated.Itevenbecomesaddictive.Beinghookedonhuggingisfarsaferthanbeingstrungoutondrugs.
Onetraitnearlyallcleanaddictsshareisextremesensitivity.Whennotdulledbychemicalsourbrainsreallytakestockofwhatgoesonaroundus.Thestraightworldisasfullofhypocrisyastheworldofaddicts.Ournewlyclearedheadsdonotmissafalsebeat.
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Hypocrisyisacutelypainfultoarecoveringaddict.Weneedsomeplacetoescapethepitifuldeceptionsandintriguesoftherealworld.ThereisnobetterplacetofindrefugefromhypocrisythananN.A.meeting.ThereisnosaferspacethaninaroomfullofhonestlycaringN.A.members.
"Ineedameeting,"isafeelingoftensharedbyN.A.members."IreallyneededanN.A.meetingtoday,"isstatedbyparticipantsateverymeetingofNarcoticsAnonymous.Asurewaytostayoffdrugsisto,"Gotolotsofmeetingsanddon'tuseinbetween.''
31BewareofExcusesThosewhodecidetoleavethefellowshipandusedrugsagainhavenodifficultyfindingaplausiblesoundingreasonfordoingso.
"Myloverleftme.Ican'tstandthepain,"isacommonexcuseusedtotakedrugs.Descenttousingcaneasilybeblamedoncatastrophesoflove.
"Ilostmyjobandgotdepressed.Mydoctorprescribedamoodelevator,"isanoftenhearddoubleexcuse.Thereturntodrugsisoftenblamedonemployersanddoctors.
"Mymotherdied.Isimplycan'tgotothefuneralwithoutsomethingtocalmmedown,"isalogicalsoundingcop-out.
"Igottoohungry,angry,lonely,andtired,soIusedagain,"isafour-barreledrationalizationforreturningtodrugs.
"IhadatoothachesoItookapainpill,"isanotherwayofpassingtheblameforpoppingpills.
"Everybodyelsewasdoingit,"explainsanotheraddictwhorelapsed."Ifigureditwouldn'thurttojointhemjustonce."Usingdrugscanalwaysbeblamedonmakingourselvessociallyacceptable.
"Beingcleanboredmetodeath,"anotherrationalizes."Ineedsomethingtoliftmeup."
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ManyN.A.memberswhorelapseusedrugsaftergettingupsetatameeting."Thatspeakerwasfullofbaloney,"istheflimsyexcuse."Hedrovemebacktodrugs."
"WhenIcalledmysponsorhewasn'thome,"isaweakwaytoshiftblameforusingdrugsagain.
EvenN.A.'sTwelveStepsofrecoveryaresometimesusedtojustifyreturningtoaddiction."MyFourthStepinventorywastooscary,"anaddictwhorelapsedwillsay."Ihadtosmokeajointtofaceuptothetruth."
Mostexcusessoundfragileunlessweunconsciouslycontemplateusingthemourselves.InN.A.noexcuseisacceptableforgoingbacktodrugs.Wecanalwayscreateanexcusetouseadrug.Wecanavoidusingbyavoidingfantasieswhichcouldjustifydruguse.
Usuallytheexcuseiscreatedlongbeforewerealizeweintendtouseit.Inthecunningrecessesofanaddict'sbrainavoicewhispers,"Itwouldbeforgivabletotakedrugsagainifmychildgotrunoverbyatruck."
Orthateasilyrecognizablevoicemightsay,"IfnuclearwarbeginsandeveryoneIloveorknowgoesupinamushroomcloud,whocouldblamemeforusing?"
Orwemaycreateareallycomplicatedscenario."IfIgotpinnedbyonelegunderaburningcaronthefreewayandtheambulancedriverofferedtogivemeapainkillerbeforeamputatingmyleg,wouldIlethim?"
Oritcouldbeaglamorousfantasylike,"IfIweresittinginaparkedcarinfrontofanapartmenthouseandagorgeousredheadcameouttoinvitemeinforalineofcoke,wouldIgo?"
Nothingisfarfetchedforthetrickymindofanaddictseekingan
excusetousedrugsagain.Letusanalyzethedesperationinherentinthewildexamplescreatedtodemonstratehowcunning,baffling,andpowerfulourdiseasereallyis.
Wemustbecarefulofwhatweimagine.Anythingwedreammightreallyhappen.Ifwelookcloselyatourfavoritefantasies,wemaydiscoverintentionsofreturningtodruguse.We
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maydiscoverwe'relookingforexcusestoreturntoourformerdrughabits.
Therearetwowaystohandleexcuses.Oneistoavoidthem.Theotheristofaceuptothem.Recognizethemforwhattheyare.
InN.A.wehearallexcuses.Wecollectthem.Wespotthoseusedbyaddictsluckyenoughafterrelapsetogetbackintoourfellowship'swelcomingfold.Weidentifyexcusesbeingdevelopedbythosewhoareabouttodisappearfromourmidst.Welearntoidentifyexcuses,sowecanrecognizethemwhenwearetemptedtousethem.
Addictsabouttoleapbackintothedrugabyssoftenbeginbyfindingfaultwithsomethingorsomeoneinthefellowship.Theystopgoingtomeetingsbecausetheroomistoosmoky.Theydonotlikethesecretary.Therearetoomanysicknewcomerspresent.Theycannotstandlisteningtoallthoseboring"drug-alogues."
Therearethosewhothinktheycannotassociatewith"losersandstreetpeople"whogotoN.A.meetings.Thefactisthereallosersarethoselookingforawaytoexcusethemselvesfromthegroup.
Thereversemayalsobetrue.Sometimes"liberals"refusetoassociatewithconservative"highbrows"inagroup.Orwemayquitbecauseagroupconsciencevoteistakenwhichgoesagainstourconceptofhowmeetingsshouldberun.Wecanalwaysfindsomethinginanymeetingtogetmadenoughabouttostompoutandseeksurroundingsconducivetousingdrugsagain.
Boycottingameetingbecauseamajorityofitsmembersdifferfromussocially,politically,racially,orreligiouslyisahandywaytoblamethefellowshipforturningusbackdowntheendlesstunnelofaddiction.
Anotherwayforanaddictwhowantsoutistotellhim-orherselfthere
istoomuch"Godtalk"atN.A.meetings."Ididn'tcomeheretogetreligion,"theagnosticoratheistabouttoleavewillcomplain.RefusaltorecognizethatN.A.isspiritualrather
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thanreligiouswillopenacrackforanonbelievertofallthrough;thisisahellwhereaddictswillhavenopowertoturntheirwillandlifeovertoaHigherPower.
ForamemberofNarcoticsAnonymousthereisnoacceptableexcuseforusingdrugsagain.
Ifwefindsomeone'sreasonsforusingdrugsagainasvalid,beware.Ifwethinkwewouldreturntodrugsifwehadsomeone'sproblems,beware.Wecouldbesettingourselvesuptouseagainwhensimilarthingsoccurinourlives.Excusesweacceptforothersmayeventuallybeemployedbyourselves.
Wemaythinkacceptinganother'sreasonsforrelapsingisaformofunderstanding.Inreality,validatinganyrationalizationforrelapsingishowwestoreexcusestojustifyourreturntodrugs.
Collectaddicts'reasonsforleavingN.A.Labelthemclearlysowecanidentifythem.Labelthemexcuses.
Noexcusefortryingtoescapeproblemsbytakingdrugsisacceptabletousanymore.Theescaperouteforausingaddictleadstohell.
32SeekProfessionalHelpAtfirstsomeofusthinkknockingoffdrugswillsolveallourproblems.Notso.Ifourcarbreaksdownwestillneedamechanic.Legalproblemsmayrequireustoretainalawyer.Poorhealthmaycauseustoconsultaphysician.
NoamountofcleantimeissufficientqualificationforanyoneinN.A.tobecomeourpsychiatrist,financialplanner,ormarriagecounselor.Nosoundbusinesspersongoestoanamateurforadviceonhowto
runacompany.Therearequalifiedbusinessconsultantsforthat.N.A.meetingsorsponsorsarenotskilledinsuchmatters.
Ifweneedaloanweshouldgotoabank,savingsandloan,orfinancecompany.Aprofessionalcounselorcanofferbetter
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solutionstoarelationshipproblemthananyuntrainedpersonatanN.A.meeting.SpecificadviceonhowtosolvepersonalproblemsisnotN.A.'spurpose.
ManyofusarriveinN.A.withspecialneedsnotabletobemetatmeetings.ThereisnosuchthingasalegalgroupinN.A.tohelpwithlitigationproblems.N.A.hasnorelationshipgroupstosolveemotionalentanglements.Therearenosexgroupstohelpwithdysfunction.Wedonothavementalhealthgroupstodealwithpsychiatricproblems.
FortheseandmanyotherdifficultiesN.A.membersarenodifferentthananyoneelse.Wemustconsultprofessionals.
SomememberswillincorrectlystatethatthosewhoregularlyattendN.A.meetingsneednotconsultpsychotherapists.ThoseofusuntrainedinpsychotherapyhavenorighttosaysuchathingundertheguiseofTwelveStepping.Atbest,suchuninformedopinionispracticingmedicineorpsychologywithoutalicense.Atworst,itisnoneofourbusiness.
N.A.doesnotprofesstocureallillsorsolveallproblems.TheTwelveStepsofrecoveryfromdrugaddictionaretheonlysolutionN.A.canoffertohelpsolvepersonaldifficulties.Godmaymotivateatroubledmembertogotoapsychiatristorclergyman.Whoarewetodeterminewhichofusconsultfamilycounselorsorpsychologists?
Onlyamateursofferfreeadviceonhowtosolveintimateproblems.Someamateursunconsciouslytrytocontrolusbytellinguspreciselyhowtomanageourpersonalaffairsifwewanttostayclean.Ifwefeelintimidatedtobehaveonlyinacertainsuggestedmannerwemaybeundersuchaspelllaidonbyanamateur.
Awomanwhohatesmenwilladviseotherwomentohavenothingtodowithmen.Amanwhodislikeslawyerswillrecommendthatwe
defendourselvesincourt.Amanwhoabuseswomenwilltellothermento,"Love'emandleave'em."Adivorcedpersonwilloftencounselamarriedpersonto,"Packupandleave!"
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ManyprofessionalsbelongtoNarcoticsAnonymous.Therearedoctors,lawyers,bankers,andpriests.ApsychiatristwhobelongstoN.A.wouldnomoregivefreepsychiatrictreatmentthanalawyerwouldhandleacaseincourtwithoutcompensation.AnN.A.memberwhosellscarswouldnotprovideuswithafreeautomobile,norwouldadentistwhobelongstoourfellowshipfixourteethfornothing.Askthem.Theywillquoteapriceorfeeforprofessionalservice.ButtheywillchargeusnothingtotellusalltheyknowabouttheTwelveStepsofN.A.
ManyhavefoundithelpfultoaugmenttheirN.A.programofrecoverybyconsultingprofessionalstotreattheiraddiction.Thereisnothingwrongwiththat.MostprofessionalswhotreataddictionapplyN.A.'sTwelveStepstotheirtherapy.NearlyeveryreputabletreatmentcentersuggestsdischargedpatientscontinuegoingtoNarcoticsAnonymousaslongastheylive.
N.A.innowaycompeteswithhospitalsortreatmentcenters.N.A.doesnotendorsethem.TheyendorseN.A.Ourfellowshipfullycooperateswithprofessionalswhotreataddiction.Ourpolicytowardsuchtherapistsandprivateorpublicinstitutionsiscalled,"cooperationwiththeprofessionalcommunity."
Ifanyofusfeelweneedprofessionalhelponanymatterincludingaddiction,weshouldfindit.NarcoticsAnonymouswillprovidelove,understanding,support,andtheTwelveStepsofrecoverywhetherweconsultprofessionalsornot.
33WorktheTwelveStepsThereisonlyoneprogramofrecoveryfromaddiction;itiscalledthe
TwelveSteps.ThepurposeoftheothertechniquesdescribedinthisbookletistokeepusfittopracticetheTwelveSteps.
TheStepscanbestudiedthoroughlyinN.A.literature.Noamountofstudywillbeexcessive.Therecannotbetoomuchknowledgeofthesetwelvepricelessprinciples.
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TheyarecalledStepssowewilltakethemoneatatime.Theyarenumberedonethroughtwelveintheorderwetakethem.
AfterwehavecompletedStepOne,whereweadmitourdisease,throughStepTwelve,wherewerecover,wewilllearntousetheStepsselectivelytomeetspecificsituations.UntilthenwedotheStepsinthefollowingorder:
1.Weadmittedthatwewerepowerlessoverouraddiction,thatourliveshadbecomeunmanageable.Weacknowledgeitisimpossibletoexertanycontroloverdrugs,includingalcoholandprescriptions.Weacceptitishopelesstotrytomanageanypartofourlives,includingstayingclean.Wecannotdoit.Itisuselesstotry.Weadmititandmoveon.
2.WecametobelievethataPowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.Wemustbelievebeyonddoubtthatweareinsanewhetherweareusingdrugsornot.ThisStepmustapplytousinordertotakeit.TorecoverwemusttakeallTwelveSteps.Tryingtomanageunmanageablelivesisinsanity.Tryingtocontrolwhatcannotbecontrolledisnuts.Persistentlytryingtomanageourlivesproveswearecrazy.Ifwecannotmanageanything,whocan?OnlyaPowergreaterthanourselves.WeneednotbelievethisPowerwillrestoreoursanity,weneedonlybelievesuchapower"couldrestoreustosanity."Ifwethinkitmight,wemoveon.
3.WemadeadecisiontoturnourwillandourlivesovertothecareofGodasweunderstoodHim.Wedecidetodoit,nottopostponeit.Withoutdelaywegambleeverythingweeverwillbeonagreatunknownthatmightnotbethere.Wedonotask.Wedo.Weplace100percentofthemanagementofourlivesintoGod'shands.Wegiveupallcontrol.Healonebecomesresponsibleforevery
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feeling,thought,andact.Wesurrenderunconditionally.Inanswerto,"Whoisgoingtorunmylife?I?OrGod?"WeconsciouslycontactourHigherPowerandsay,"God,takecharge!"Nolongerresponsibleformanagingourlives,wemoveon.
4.Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.Weexamineourbehavior.Wewriteaninventory,notahistory.WhatisgoodaboutusafterweputGodincharge?Whatisbad?Arewegreedyorgenerous?Cruelorkind?Brutalorgentle?Possessiveortolerant?Dishonestortrustworthy?Manipulativeorpermissive?Resentfulorforgiving?Insecureorconfident?Guiltyorinnocent?Narrow-mindedoraccepting?Domineeringormodest?Arrogantorhumble?Jealousortrusting?Fearfulorcourageous?Iffearispresentitisnotafearlessinventory.RepeatStepThree.LetGodstockourinventory.WithHiminchargethereisnothingtofear.
Areweviolentorpeaceful?Distressedorserene?Angryoratease?Hatefulorloving?Self-pityingorgrateful?Gloomyorcheerful?Pessimisticoroptimistic?Recklessorcareful?Disdainingorcaring?Trouble-makingorconsiderate?Sneakyorstraightforward?Selfishorgenerous?Closemindedorwillingtolearn?Stubbornorreadytochange?Dowesmoke,overeat,drinktoomuchcoffee,trytocontrolourselvesorothers,overwork,overspend,orclingtootheralternateaddictions?
Putitalldown.Searchforeverysymptomofillness.Itisdiagnosis,nottherapy.Thatcomeslater.Afterwejotdowneverysymptomofhowillwearetoday,wemoveon.
5.WeadmittedtoGod,toourselvesandtoanotherhumanbeingtheexactnatureofourwrongs.WhatisbehindthedetectivebehaviornotedinStepFour?Nowweanalyzethosesymptoms.Whydowelie?Whydowesteal?Whyarewejealous?IsitbecausewedonotbelieveGodwillprotectusunless
wemanagetoconcealthetruth?Arewe
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afraidGodwillnotprovideenoughunlesswemanagetosteal?DowebelieveGodwillletsomeoneelsehavewhatbelongstousunlesswemanagetohangontoit?WethinkweturnedourlivesovertoGod.DoesourbehaviorindicatewestilltrytomanageouraffairsbetterthanGodcan?DoestheexactnatureofourproblemsinvolveourlackoftrustinGod?
AreweangryatwhatsomeonedoesoratGodforlettingithappen?AreweagitatedbecausewedonotbelieveGodwillsolveourproblems?IsgraspingcontrolawayfromGodtheexactnaturebehindourwrongbehavior?
Welookbehindeverydefect.WeadmitdirectlytoGodwhatwefind.Weadmitittoourselvesandanotherperson.Thatindividualcanbeafriend,stranger,sponsor,therapist,clergyman,orspouse.WetellGodwedonottrustHimenough.Wetellourselveswetrustourselvestoomuch.Weadmitthisexactnatureofourwrongstoanotherhumanbeing.Wedonotseekadviceaboutthisbehavior.Wesimplyadmittothesethreeentitieswhatisreallywrong.Havingdeeplydiagnosedandacknowledgedthenatureofourdisease,wemoveon.
6.WewereentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectsofcharacter.InthetwopreviousStepswelistedexactlywhatwebelieveareourdefects.EitherwearereadytohavethemremovedbyGod,orwearenot.Ifwestillwanttoworkonourdefects,wearenotreadyforStepSix.Howdowegetready?BygoingbackoverStepsOnethroughFiveuntilweareready.Ifwethinkwecanmanagetoremoveevenonedefectonourown,weneedtogobacktoStepThreeandadmitwearepowerlesstodoso.IfwedonotbelieveGodcanremovethem,weneedtogobacktoStepTwountilwethinkHemight.WehavenotrecentlytakenStepThreeifwearenotreadytohaveHimdowhatHewantswithourdefects.Ifwearenotyetconvincednothinglessthan
removalofthesedefectswillmakeushappy,webetterstaywithStepsFourandFiveuntilitbecomesobvious.IfwewanttohangontoonedefectivetraitwebettergooverStepsOnethroughFiveuntilallresistancevanishes.
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BeingentirelyreadytohaveGodremoveallthesedefectswithoutourhelpisastateofgrace.ItcomesonlywhenweacquiresufficienthumilitytostepoutofthewayandletHimdothework.WhenwearefullypreparedtohaveourentirepersonalitychangedasonlyGodcanchangeit,wemoveon.
7.WehumblyaskedHimtoremoveourshortcomings.WeconsciouslycontactthePowergreaterthanourselves.WedonotaskGodtohelpusremoveourownshortcomings.Thisisnotaself-improvementprogram.ItisaprogramwhereweletGodimproveus.Wedonotspecifywhatdefectswewantremoved.Welistedallwecould.NowweallowourHigherPowertotakeawayorleavewhatHewishes.Sometraitswelistedasassetswillberemovedbecausetheyarereallydefects.Somecharacteristicswethoughtweredefectswillremainbecausetheyarestrengthsinsteadofweaknesses.WeletGoddetermineourgoodandbadpoints.WedonotdisputehowHechangesus.WemustbehumbleenoughtoletHimrecreateus.Weacceptwhatwebecome.
ThetruetestofhumilityiswhetherweletGoddowhatweaskHimtoornot.WithnostringsattachedweaskourHigherPowertoremoveourshortcomings.Wethenleavethemaloneandmoveon.
8.Wemadealistofallpersonswehadharmedandbecamewillingtomakeamendstothemall.UnlikeourStepFourinventoryofwhatisinstocknow,StepEightisareviewofourpersonalhistories.Wesearchourpast.Welistallformeractsthathurtotherpeople.Weincludewhenourfailuretoacthurtothers.Wedonotputourselvesattheheadofthelist.Thismaybethefirsttimewehaveeverplacedwelfareofothersaheadofourown.Wewritedowneveryinstancewecanrememberwhenwedeliberatelyorunintentionallyinjuredsomeoneelse.Welistallharmdonetootherswhethertheydeserveditornot.
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Wekeeplistingthedirtwedidtoothersuntilweregretitandwanttomakeituptothem.Whenwearewillingtomaketotalrestitutionandcorrectwhateverdamagewehavedone,wemoveon.
9.Wemadedirectamendstosuchpeoplewhereverpossible,exceptwhentodosowouldinjurethemorothers.Adirectamendismorethananapology.Weconfrontthoseweharmedandmakerestitutionforthedamagewedid.Wereplacewhatwestole.Werepaywhatweowe.Wetakeblameformisdeedsweallowedotherstobeblamedfor.Wesettleunpaidbills.Wecompensatewithlove,deeds,ormoneytothosewemistreated.Weexpectneithergratitudenorforgivenessinreturn.Wetakewhateveractionnecessarytosetthingsstraight.Wespendwhatevermoneyittakestomakethingsright.Wherewewereguiltyofabuse,wenowlavishlove.
Iftryingtocorrectpastdamagewillcausefurtherdamagetoanyoneotherthanourselvesweletthematterdrop.Wecannothealthosewehurtbyreopeningoldwoundsorinflictingnewones.Wemakenorestitutionwhichwillresultinpunishmentforaccomplices.Wemakenoconfessionthatrevealsanotherperson'sguilt.Wedonotincludeourselvesamongtheotherswemustnotharm.
Whenwehavecorrectedeverypossiblerottenthingthatharmedsomeoneelse,wemoveon.
10.Wecontinuedtotakepersonalinventoryandwhenwewerewrongpromptlyadmittedit.TheinventorywetookinStepFourandadmittingtheexactnatureofourwrongsinStepFiveweresoimportantthatwearenowgoingtocontinuetolookatourstrengthsandweaknesses.Wewilldothisonedayatatimefortherestofourlives.Thewordcontinuedmeanstwothings:wearenevergoingtobefinishedtakinginventoriesandwewillneverbethroughfindingwrongsforGodtoremove.
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HavinglearnedwhattodoinourwrittenStepFourinventoriesandoursharedStepFiveanalysisoftheexactnatureofourwrongs,wenowmakedailyuseofthesetechniquesofself-diagnosis.
Itwillnotalwaysbeconvenienttowritedownourcontinuinginventories.Wemayneedtotakethemfasterthanthattohandlelife'sdailyproblems.Inanyemergencywecanaskourselves,whyamIangry?WhydoIworry?WhyamIenvious?Wecananswer,IamangrybecauseIdon'tlikethewayGodisrunningmylife.IworrybecauseIdon'texpectGodtohandlethingscorrectly.IenvysomeoneelsebecauseIdon'ttrustGodtogivemewhatIneed.Theanswerisalwaysthesame:Idon'ttrustGod.IamagitatedbecauseIgrabbedcontrolbackfrommyHigherPower.IthinkIcanhandlethingsbettermyself.ThenallwehavetodoisrenegotiatetheStepThreecontractwehavebroken.PutGodbackincharge.WemayreturntoStepSevenandaskHimtoremovethisshortcomingoffiringGodtotakechargeourselves.
WestartadailyhabitofrecognizingandadmittingwhenweusurpGod'sjobofrunningourlives.Thenwemoveon.
11.WesoughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveourconsciouscontactwithGodasweunderstoodHim,prayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.InthreepreviousStepswehaveestablishedconsciouscontactwithourHigherPower.InStepThreeweturnedourwillandourlivesovertoHim.Wecouldnotdothatwithoutmakingcontact.InStepFiveweadmittedtoGodwhatwehadlearnedwasthenatureofourwrongs.WehadtocontactHimtodothat.StepSevenhadusaskHimtoremoveourshortcomings.Whenweaskedwemadecontact.NowweimprovetheconsciouscontactwealreadyhavewithGod.
WepetitionGod.Thatisprayer.WelistentoGod.Thatismeditation.Thepurposeofmeditationistohelpourselvesemptyourmindsof
personalconcernssotheHigherPower
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mayenter.Therearemanytechniquestodothis.Practiceoneofthem.
StepEleventeachesanewwaytopray.InouroldwayofprayingweaskGodtofillspecificneeds.ThisStepsuggestswenolongerdothat.ItproposesprayingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.
PrayingthatonlyGod'sconcernsenterourbrainsblocksourpersonalwishes.AskingonlyforknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatoutemptiesourbrainssotheHigherPowermayenter.Wedonotalwayshavetousesomeotherformofmeditation.PrayingonlyforGod'swillandthepowertocarryitoutismeditation.
WespirituallyawakeninthisStepwhenwerealizeweneveragainhavetospelloutwhatwewantGodtodo.WeawakenspirituallysecureintheknowledgethatweneedneverprayformorethanknowledgeofHiswillforusandthepowertocarrythatout.Committedtoprayingonlythatwayfortherestofourlives,wemoveon.
12.HavinghadaspiritualawakeningasaresultoftheseSteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetoaddicts,andtopracticetheseprinciplesinallouraffairs.StepTwelveconfirmswehadaspiritualawakeningonlybecausewetookallelevenpreviousSteps.NowwecarrythisTwelveStepmessagetootheraddicts.TodosowecontinuetoattendN.A.meetings.WeapplyTwelveStepprinciplestoeveryaspectofliving.BymeansoftheTwelveStepsweletGodmanageusineverythingwedoratherthantryingtocontrolthingsourselves.
NarcoticsAnonymousoffersonlyonepathtorecovery.WerecoveronlyifwepracticetheTwelveSteps.Wedonotrecoverunlesswetakeandcontinuetoworkthem.ThosewhofollowtheStepsrecover;thosewhodonotfollowtheStepscontinuetosuffer.
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Ourdiseaseofaddictionremainsincurableevenafterwerecover.Allweneedtodotodestroyourrecoveryisusedrugsagain.OnlytheTwelveStepswillkeepouraddictioninremission.Oncerecovered,weneedneveragainsufferanysymptomofit.AllweneedtodotostaywelliscontinuetogotoN.A.meetingsandpracticetheTwelveSteps.
Onlythosewhoarestillsickbelieverecoverymeanstheycansafelyuseagain.Thisisnotso.Recoverymeanswenolongerneeddrugs,norhaveanydesiretousethem.Ourcompulsionislifted.
Wewillalsorecoverifwededicateourlives,justfortoday,toworkingtheTwelveStepsofNarcoticsAnonymous.Learnhow.ReadN.A.literature.Getasponsor.Gotolotsofmeetings.Donotusedrugsinbetweenmeetings.
BeoneofmanythousandsofhappyaddictswhohaverecoveredthroughNarcoticsAnonymous.TheBeginning