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Parental Parental Discipline: Sorting Discipline: Sorting
out the Mixed out the Mixed MessagesMessages
Bob LarzelereBob LarzelereHuman Devel. & Family Human Devel. & Family
ScienceScienceOklahoma State UniversityOklahoma State University
December 1, 2009December 1, 2009
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OutlineOutline
Historical Pendulum SwingHistorical Pendulum Swing Developmental vs. Behavioral ViewsDevelopmental vs. Behavioral Views Putting views togetherPutting views together Effective vs. Detrimental Effective vs. Detrimental
Disciplinary Enforcements Disciplinary Enforcements Implications for Parent EducatorsImplications for Parent Educators
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Historical Pendulum Historical Pendulum SwingSwing
Watson (’28) Maternal love is Watson (’28) Maternal love is dangerous.dangerous. No hugs or kisses or sitting in your lapNo hugs or kisses or sitting in your lap Rapid self-care: toilet training begins at 3-5 Rapid self-care: toilet training begins at 3-5
weeks, strap to toilet at 8 months.weeks, strap to toilet at 8 months. Spock (’46-) Restored balance of love Spock (’46-) Restored balance of love
and limitsand limits ““Trust yourself” – first words to parentsTrust yourself” – first words to parents Moderate strictness or Moderate strictness or
permissiveness OK for loving permissiveness OK for loving parents – extremes are detrimentalparents – extremes are detrimental
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Historical Pendulum Historical Pendulum SwingSwing
TodayToday Mixed messages? Forehand & Mixed messages? Forehand &
McKinney (’93)McKinney (’93) Trust experts, not yourself or your Trust experts, not yourself or your
parentsparents Permissiveness, maybe with mild Permissiveness, maybe with mild
consequencesconsequences What pendulum point is optimal?What pendulum point is optimal?
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Child Developmental vs. Child Developmental vs. Behavioral Tx (vs. Behavioral Tx (vs.
Traditional)Traditional) Complementary (Child Dev. vs. Beh Tx)Complementary (Child Dev. vs. Beh Tx)
Children studiedChildren studied FoundationsFoundations GoalsGoals Proactive disciplineProactive discipline
Contradictory disciplinary responsesContradictory disciplinary responses Reasoning Reasoning Child Devel. Child Devel. Time out Time out Behav. Parent Training Behav. Parent Training Spanking Spanking Traditional Traditional
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Child Developmental Child Developmental ViewView
Children studiedChildren studied NonclinicalNonclinical FoundationsFoundations Attachment, sensitivityAttachment, sensitivity GoalsGoals Moral internalizationMoral internalization Proactive stepsProactive steps Modeling, Modeling,
coachingcoaching Response tacticResponse tactic Reasoning, minimal Reasoning, minimal
power assertionpower assertion
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Behavioral Parent Training Behavioral Parent Training ViewView
Children studiedChildren studied Clinically defiantClinically defiant FoundationsFoundations Positive reinforcementPositive reinforcement GoalsGoals Reduce disruptive Reduce disruptive
behaviorbehavior Proactive stepsProactive steps Clear commands, Clear commands,
a few targeted a few targeted behaviorsbehaviors
Response tacticsResponse tactics Time out, Time out, privilege privilege removal, little reasoningremoval, little reasoning
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Parenting Programs Parenting Programs Often Focus on One or Often Focus on One or
the Otherthe Other Good communication is keyGood communication is key
Parent Effectiveness Training – GordonParent Effectiveness Training – Gordon Consistent consequences are the keyConsistent consequences are the key
1-2-3 Magic -- Phelan 1-2-3 Magic -- Phelan
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Putting Pieces TogetherPutting Pieces Together
Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Love & limits Love & limits Reasoning & consequencesReasoning & consequences
Key #2: Sequence of disciplinary tacticsKey #2: Sequence of disciplinary tactics Matching tactic to misbehaviorMatching tactic to misbehavior Matching tactic to underlying motivationMatching tactic to underlying motivation More forceful tactics should More forceful tactics should enhance enhance milder milder
tacticstactics Mildest tactic that is effective for situationMildest tactic that is effective for situation
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Key #1: Authoritative Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Love and Parenting: Love and
LimitsLimits Combines both perspectivesCombines both perspectives Love & firm controlLove & firm control Reasoning & negative consequencesReasoning & negative consequences Consistently optimal outcomesConsistently optimal outcomes
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Parenting Styles: Parenting Styles: PrototypesPrototypes
High Control
Low Control
HighWarmth
LowWarmth
AuthoritativeAuthoritarian
PermissiveDisengaged
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Eight Parenting StylesEight Parenting StylesHigh Control
Low Control
HighWarmth
LowWarmth
AuthoritativeAuthoritarian
Permissive
Rejecting
Directive
Neglecting
DemocraticGood
Enough
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Outcomes of Outcomes of Authoritative ParentingAuthoritative Parenting
Does authoritative parenting have Does authoritative parenting have long-term beneficial outcomes? long-term beneficial outcomes?
Short answer: Yes, esp. vs. extremesShort answer: Yes, esp. vs. extremes Much better outcomes than Much better outcomes than
authoritariansauthoritarians Better outcomes than permissiveBetter outcomes than permissive Similar outcomes to parenting styles Similar outcomes to parenting styles
that are not low on either warmth or that are not low on either warmth or controlcontrol
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Competency Outcomes Competency Outcomes (at Age 14, 10 years (at Age 14, 10 years
later)later) General Competence FactorGeneral Competence Factor IndividuatedIndividuated: interesting, arresting : interesting, arresting
personality; sense of identity; articulatepersonality; sense of identity; articulate Projects Self-ConfidenceProjects Self-Confidence: self-: self-
respect, confidence with parents, respect, confidence with parents, cognitive confidencecognitive confidence
Cognitive CompetenceCognitive Competence (Cognitively (Cognitively Motivated + Achievement Oriented)Motivated + Achievement Oriented)
Communal CompetenceCommunal Competence ( (Self Self Regulated +Regulated + Socially ResponsibleSocially Responsible))
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Problem Outcomes (Age Problem Outcomes (Age 14)14)
Externalizing ProblemsExternalizing Problems: : dangerous exploits, delinquent dangerous exploits, delinquent behavior, dropout lifestylebehavior, dropout lifestyle
Internalizing ProblemsInternalizing Problems: self-: self-pitying, excessive worrying, feels pitying, excessive worrying, feels worthlessworthless
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Mean Teen Competency T-Scores by Parenting Style at Age 4
40 45 50 55 60
AuthoritativeDemocratic
DirectiveAuthoritarianGood Enough
PermissiveNeglecting
Rejecting
T-Score (M=50, sd=10)
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Mean Teen Problem T-Scores by Parenting Style at Age 4
40 45 50 55 60
AuthoritativeDemocratic
DirectiveAuthoritarianGood Enough
PermissiveNeglecting
Rejecting
T-Score (M=50, sd=10)
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Integration Key #2: Integration Key #2: Sequencing Disciplinary Sequencing Disciplinary
TacticsTactics
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Maintenance Region ofOptimal Child Behavior
Initial Control Attempts
Initial Control Attempts
2nd Level Control Attempts
2nd Level Control Attempts
3rd Level Control Attempts
3rd Level Control Attempts
Time
UpperLimitControls
LowerLimitControls
Bell’s Control System Bell’s Control System ModelModel
OngoingChild Behavior
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Maintenance Region ofOptimal Child Behavior
Initial Control Attempts
Initial Control Attempts
2nd Level Control Attempts
2nd Level Control Attempts
3rd Level Control Attempts
3rd Level Control Attempts
Time
OngoingChild Behavior
UpperLimitControls
LowerLimitControls
Disruptive Child Disruptive Child BehaviorBehavior
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Maintenance Region ofOptimal Child Behavior
Initial Control Attempts
2nd Level Control Attempts
3rd Level Control Attempts
Time
UpperLimitControls
Roles of Behavioral and Roles of Behavioral and Developmental EmphasesDevelopmental Emphases
OngoingChild Behavior
Behavioral ParentTraining
Developmental Psychology
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Upper Limit Control Levels Upper Limit Control Levels (e.g.’s)(e.g.’s)
Initial level Initial level Verbal -- correction, reasoning, negotiationVerbal -- correction, reasoning, negotiation
22ndnd level level Mild to moderate power assertion – Mild to moderate power assertion –
privilege removal, restraint, redirecting, privilege removal, restraint, redirecting, time out, yellingtime out, yelling
33rdrd level level last resort (e.g., for time out)– restraint, last resort (e.g., for time out)– restraint,
spanking, brief forced isolation, job chores, spanking, brief forced isolation, job chores, grounding grounding
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Sequencing as one key to Sequencing as one key to putting pieces togetherputting pieces together
Goals: from Child Developmental ViewGoals: from Child Developmental View Child behavior to stay in tolerable rangeChild behavior to stay in tolerable range Rely on verbal correction (e.g., reasoning) as Rely on verbal correction (e.g., reasoning) as
much as possible (if effective)much as possible (if effective) Authoritative parents: verbal persuasion, give-and-Authoritative parents: verbal persuasion, give-and-
taketake
Methods: from Behav Parent Training viewMethods: from Behav Parent Training view Nonphysical conseq’s necessary when reasoning Nonphysical conseq’s necessary when reasoning
is ineffective (esp. when children are defiant)is ineffective (esp. when children are defiant) Can enforce reasoning in 2- and 3-year-oldsCan enforce reasoning in 2- and 3-year-olds
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70
75
80
85
90
95
34 Months 54 Months
Age
Mis
beh
avio
rMisbehavior Trends for High Use of Misbehavior Trends for High Use of
Disciplinary Reasoning (preschoolers)Disciplinary Reasoning (preschoolers)
Rarely Backed Up (0% to 9%)
Backed Up Periodically (10%+)
with Negative Consequences
Average Trend Overall
Source: Larzelere et al. (1998). J Marr Fam, 60, 388-403.
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Sequencing as keySequencing as key
Shows only beneficial use of spankingShows only beneficial use of spanking To back-up time outTo back-up time out When 2- to 6-year-olds are defiantWhen 2- to 6-year-olds are defiant Only one back-up equally effectiveOnly one back-up equally effective
Forced brief room isolationForced brief room isolation
More forceful tactics enforce More forceful tactics enforce cooperation with milder tacticscooperation with milder tactics Forceful back-up tactics can then be Forceful back-up tactics can then be
droppeddropped
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Foundations for Effective Foundations for Effective Firm ControlFirm Control
1. Supportive nurturance1. Supportive nurturance 2. Enhancing desired behaviors2. Enhancing desired behaviors 3. Decreasing misbehaviors3. Decreasing misbehaviors
Skills at #1 & #2 help with #3 in two Skills at #1 & #2 help with #3 in two ways:ways: a. Less misbehaviora. Less misbehavior b. Child more responsive to corrective b. Child more responsive to corrective
disciplinediscipline
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Foundations for Effective Foundations for Effective Firm ControlFirm Control
Positive reinforcementPositive reinforcement Clear expectations and Clear expectations and
communicationcommunication Age-appropriate expectationsAge-appropriate expectations
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Effective Disciplinary Effective Disciplinary EnforcementEnforcement
Age-appropriate maturity demandsAge-appropriate maturity demands Regular structure and routineRegular structure and routine Age-appropriate choresAge-appropriate chores
Confront misbehavior directly but calmlyConfront misbehavior directly but calmly Prefer verbal correction & brief reasoningPrefer verbal correction & brief reasoning Enforce verbal discipline with mild Enforce verbal discipline with mild
consequences (time out, privilege removal)consequences (time out, privilege removal) Spank only for defiance to milder tacticsSpank only for defiance to milder tactics
2- to 6-year-olds2- to 6-year-olds
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Last-Resort Back-Ups for Last-Resort Back-Ups for DefianceDefiance
Back-up spankingBack-up spanking 2 open-hand swats to bottom for defiant 2 open-hand swats to bottom for defiant
responses to nonphysical punishment (> 10 of responses to nonphysical punishment (> 10 of 13 alternatives, mostly based on 2- to 6-year-13 alternatives, mostly based on 2- to 6-year-olds)olds)
Note: supports cooperation with milder tacticsNote: supports cooperation with milder tactics Brief forced room isolation: Brief forced room isolation:
Only alternative equally effective for defiant 2- Only alternative equally effective for defiant 2- to 6-year-olds in 2+ studies (back-up for time to 6-year-olds in 2+ studies (back-up for time out)out)
Chaffin: best treatment for abusive parents Chaffin: best treatment for abusive parents uses latter back-up for time out (in PCIT)uses latter back-up for time out (in PCIT)
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Detrimental Disciplinary Detrimental Disciplinary EnforcementEnforcement
Verbal hostility: Worst outcomesVerbal hostility: Worst outcomes Psychological controlPsychological control
Overly intrusiveOverly intrusive Limits age-appropriate independence, Limits age-appropriate independence,
autonomyautonomy Arbitrary, inconsistent controlArbitrary, inconsistent control Severe physical punishmentSevere physical punishment Reasoning without enforcementReasoning without enforcement
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Parent Education Parent Education ImplicationsImplications
Prevention 1Prevention 1stst, Cure 2, Cure 2ndnd
Balance love and limits (extremes Balance love and limits (extremes detrimental)detrimental)
Verbal tactics 1Verbal tactics 1stst, mild actions 2, mild actions 2ndnd, , last resort 3last resort 3rdrd
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Balance Love & LimitsBalance Love & Limits
Authoritative parenting and Authoritative parenting and approximations are optimalapproximations are optimal Authoritarian & permissive extremes Authoritarian & permissive extremes
detrimentaldetrimental Balance reasoning and negative Balance reasoning and negative
consequencesconsequences Either without the other is detrimentalEither without the other is detrimental
Expand parental optionsExpand parental options Make milder discipline more effectiveMake milder discipline more effective Strategy to phase out last-resort tacticsStrategy to phase out last-resort tactics
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Sequential Ordering of Sequential Ordering of Disciplinary ResponsesDisciplinary Responses
11st --st -- Mild verbal tactics Mild verbal tactics Be responsive to children & their viewpointBe responsive to children & their viewpoint
22nd --nd -- Mild disciplinary actions Mild disciplinary actions Diversion/redirecting vs. nonphysical Diversion/redirecting vs. nonphysical
consequences?consequences? Single warning for (nonphysical) punishmentSingle warning for (nonphysical) punishment Out-persist, don’t out-escalate the childOut-persist, don’t out-escalate the child
33rd --rd -- Last resort tactics Last resort tactics Only for defiant responses to milder tacticsOnly for defiant responses to milder tactics
Higher levels enforce lower levels, to Higher levels enforce lower levels, to phase out higher levelsphase out higher levels
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Concluding ThoughtsConcluding Thoughts
Love AND LimitsLove AND Limits Mild AND EffectiveMild AND Effective Power assertion should support, not Power assertion should support, not
undermine positive parenting undermine positive parenting Fit of your parent education Fit of your parent education
emphases within overall model?emphases within overall model?