Download - Negotiation and Conflict Resolution PPT
Negotiation and Conflict Resolution
Presented by: Victoria Hargan
MA Forensic Psychology2007Presented By:
Amanda Hassing, Rose Velasco, and Victoria Hargan
GETTING PAST NO: DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
OVERVIEW
GETTING READY
What is Negotiation? Breaking through barriers to cooperation Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
Go to the Balcony Step to their side Reframe Build them a golden bridge Use power to Educate
CONCLUSION
WHAT IS NEGOTIATION?
Communication aimed at reaching agreement w/others when some interests are shared & some are not.
Informal activity engaged in whenever one tries to get something one wants from another person.
PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE
WHEN TO PREPARE: Before After Again to adapt strategies
Bottom line: PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!!
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGYDON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY
DEFINE “GO TO THE BALCONY”
Thinking before reacting
Stepping back, collecting wits, & seeing objectively
Distancing oneself from natural impulses & emotions
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY
3 NATURAL REACTIONS (TO AVOID)
Striking Back – Fighting “fire with fire”
Giving In – Being done with it
Breaking Off – i.e., Getting a divorce, quitting a job, or dissolving relationship
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY
3 TACTICS USED FOR REACTION
Stone Walls – No Budging
Attacks – Pressure tactic; used to intimidate
Tricks – Fool you into giving in
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T REACT: GO TO THE BALCONY
BUYING TIME TO THINK
Pause & Say Nothing – Helps both parties cool down
Rewind the Tape – Review the discussion
Take a Time Out – Take a break
Don’t Make Important Decisions on the Spot – Sleep on it
Don’t Get Mad, Don’t Get Even, Get What You Want –
Control your own behavior!
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON'T ARGUE: STEP TO THE OTHER SIDE
WHAT TO DO:
Listen actively
Give other side a hearing
Paraphrase & ask for corrections
Acknowledge their point
Acknowledge their feelings
Offer an apology
Project confidence
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGYDON'T ARGUE: STEP TO THE OTHER SIDE
WHAT TO DO (CONT’D):
Agree wherever you can
Agree w/o conceding
Accumulate yeses
Tune into their wavelength
Acknowledge the person
Acknowledge their authority & competence
Build working relationship
Express your views w/o provoking
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGYDON'T ARGUE: STEP TO THE OTHER SIDE
OTHER TIPS:
Say “yes……and”, not “but”
Make “I” statements, not “you” statements
Stand up for yourself
Acknowledge differences with optimism
Create favorable climate for negotiation
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
WHAT TO ASK:
Problem Solving Questions
Why?
Why not?
What if?
Their advice?
What makes that fair?
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
WHAT TO DO:
Change the game by changing the frame
Tap the power of silence
Make your Q’s open-ended
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
REFRAME TACTICS
Go around stone walls- example of stone walls include: The opponent taking an extreme position.
Tells you “Take it or leave it” Sets a rigid deadline
Ignore stone walls
Reinterpret stone walls as aspiration
Take stone walls seriously, but don’t test them
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T REJECT: REFRAMEDEFLECT ATTACKS
Ignore attacks
Reframe attacks on you as attacks on problem
Reframe personal attacks as friendly
Reframe from past wrongs to future remedies- Ask “How do we make sure it never happens again?” Reframe the blame as joint responsibility for tackling the problem.“ (Ury).
Reframe from “you” & “me” to “we- "“We” creates a side-by-side stance, drawing attention to common interests and shared goals.“(Ury)
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
EXPOSE TRICKS
Ask clarifying Q’s
Make a reasonable request-put them to the test
Turn trick to your advantage
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
BRING IT UP If your opponent is using tactics that you’re aware of;
bring it up.
Calling them liars or cheats does not make them more receptive to the problem-solving process.
Make light of the tactic.
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
NEGOTIATE ABOUT THE NEGOTIATION
If your opponent continues to use stone walls, attacks, and tricks negotiate about the negotiation
Two negotiations factors
Negotiation about substance: the terms and conditions, dollars and cents.
Negotiation about the rules of the game. How is the negotiation to be conducted.
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T REJECT: REFRAME
THE TURNING POINT
Change the game from positional bargaining to joint problem-solving.
Reframing will turn a positional confrontation into a problem-solving negotiation.
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN
BRIDGE
Obstacles to agreement
Build a Golden Bridge
Involve the other side
Ask for & build on their ideas
Ask for constructive criticism
Offer them a choice
Satisfy unmet interests
Don’t dismiss them as irrational
Don’t overlook basic human needs
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE
Building a golden bridge means making it easier for the other side to surmount the four common obstacles to agreement. (Ury)
It means actively involving them in devising a solution so that it becomes their idea, not just yours.
It means satisfying their unmet interests. It means helping them save face It means making the process of negotiation as easy as
possible.
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE
DON’T ASSUME A FIXED PIE
Look for low-cost, high-benefit trades Identify items you could give the other side that are high
benefit to them, but low cost to you On the flip side, seek items that are of high benefit to
you, but low cost to them. Use an if-then formula
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON'T PUSH: BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE
HELP THEM SAVE FACE Help them back away w/o
backing down
Show how circumstances have changed
Ask for 3rd party recommendation
Point to standard of fairness
Go slow to go fast
Guide them step by step
Don’t ask for a final commitment until end
Don’t rush to the finish
Across the bridge
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON'T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE
Use power to bring them to their senses, not their knees
Let them know the consequences
Let reality be their teacher
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE
THE 3 MOST REALITY TESTING QUESTIONS
What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?
What do you think I will do?
What will you do?
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE
WARN, DON’T THREATEN
Demonstrate your BATNA
Use your BATNA, Defuse their reaction
Deploy your BATNA w/o provoking
Use min. power
Use legitimate means
Neutralize their attacks
REMEMBER: Power contest is a 2-way street!
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE
TAP THE THIRD FORCE
Build a coalition
Use 3rd parties to stop attacks
Use 3rd parties to promote negotiation
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY
DON’T ESCALATE: USE POWER TO EDUCATE
KEEP SHARPENING THEIR CHOICE
Let them know they have a way out
Let them choose
Even when you can win, negotiate
Forge a lasting agreement
Keep implementation in mind
Design the deal to minimize your risks
Build in a dispute resolution procedure
USING THE BREAKTHROUGH STRATEGY REAFFIRM THE RELATIONSHIP
Aim for mutual satisfaction, not victory
Gracious words & symbolic gestures helpful
Be generous at very end
Resist temptation to fight over last crumb
If appropriate, organize celebration for both sides
CONCLUSION:TURNING ADVERSARIES INTO
PARTNERS
Always respect your opponent
Change environment, not opponent’s mind
Identify both party’s BATNAs
Win them over, not win over them
Patience & persistent = successful negotiator
TH
E E
ND
REFERENCES
Ury, W. Getting Past No; Negotiating in
Difficult Situations. NY. Bantam Books