Results of Research:
CEB participants showed:
Significant decrease in depression, anxiety and hostility over 5-week period
Significant increase in affection for others
Significant improvement in their ability to detect subtle forms of emotional expression
Less emotional and physiological reactivity to a stress test compared to reactivity prior to training
Purpose of CEB
Identify and cultivate genuine happiness.
Support the cultivation of genuine happiness through leading a constructive emotional life.
Create a choice in how we engage with our emotions.
Definition of Emotion
Emotion is a process, a particular kind of automatic appraisal influenced by our evolutionary and personal past, in which we sense that something important to our welfare is occurring, and includes a set of physiological changes and behaviors that begin to deal with the situation.
In particular, emotions are thought to have arisen because they efficiently coordinate diverse response systems, thereby helping us respond to important challenges and opportunities.
Characteristics of Emotions
vs. Moods, Personality, Values, Thoughts…
Short acting
Quick onset
Distinctive physiological changes
Catalyzed through external and internal stimulus
There is a facial signal that is involuntary and universal (link all humanity) for the “Big 7” universal emotions, expressed for 0.5 – 4 secs, median 2 secs. Duration usually related to intensity
A characteristic set of triggers that are universal
Very quick appraisal of what is happening
Characteristics of Emotions cont.
Not unique to humans
Individual differences in how we express emotions
Distinctive thoughts, memories and images
Distinctive subjective experience, a characteristic set
of sensations (that we can become more aware of)
Target is unconstrained (not specific)
Refractory period that filters and focuses what
information is available to us (can develop skill to
shorten refractory period)
Functions of Emotions
Save our lives with quick appraisal and response, e.g., using fear to instantly swerve away from an animal on the road
Motivate us into action
Help us in communicating and understanding the wants and needs of others through distinct signals in the voice and facial expressions
Constructive and Destructive
Emotions
Constructive emotions are emotions that are conducive to our own and others’ happiness, and further our cooperation and collaboration.
Destructive emotions are regrettable emotions that are incompatible with our own and others’ happiness.
Constructive Emotional Behavior
Emotions in the right amount, proportional to the event that called them forth
Expressed at the right time
Expressed in the right way, appropriate to the emotional trigger and the circumstances and in a way that does no harm
How they get us into trouble
We feel and show the right emotion but at the wrong
intensity (e.g. over-reacting) or for inappropriate
duration
We feel the appropriate emotion, but express it in a
hurtful way (e.g. passive aggressive)
An inappropriate emotion is triggered, we feel the wrong
(inappropriate) emotion
We are unaware of our emotional experience and the
way we express it
Nearly all emotions can be expressed in a constructive
or destructive way
Themes of 7 Universal Emotion Families
Anger—
• fight, remove obstacle
Fear—
• flight, escape from threat
Sadness—
• be reassured, elicit connection and caring from others, create connection in face of loss
Disgust—
• get rid of something poisonous or harmful
Contempt—
• asserts superiority
Surprise—
• focus attention to identify something
Enjoyable emotions—
• deepen connection and co-operation
Group Discussion
In small groups, pick one emotional episode to
map using the Emotional Episode Timeline.
Focus on insights/observations of:
1. Triggers (including Emotional Alert Database)
2. Emotional behaviors (signals, preset actions,
learned behaviors, physiological changes,
scripts)
3. Refractory periods
Anger
Theme: Being thwarted in pursuit of goal that matters to you
Effects: Anger controls, punishes and retaliates
Dangerous effect: Anger calls forth more anger. It is difficult
not to respond to anger with anger, especially when it
appears unjustified
Why do people want to change anger?
• It is the dangerous emotion that can quickly hurt others,
psychologically, and physically
• Is the hurtfulness built in or learned?
• Many taught not to express anger ‐> guilt, shame
• For some own anger can get out of control ‐> fear
Common Anger Triggers
Interference
Someone trying to hurt us
Another person’s anger
Injustice
Disappointment in how a person has acted
Betrayal, abandonment, rejection
Being falsely accused
Breaking a cultural rule
How is anger destructive?
Can anger ever be constructive?
Destructive angry behaviors:
Retaliation
Stonewalling
Constructive when it prevents harm to self or others. But
dangerous as may start a cycle of violence.
BUT must be directed at action not at actor
Can motivates change, alerts you that something in your
life needs to change, stops you from being blocked
Four Steps for Working with Anger
1. Identify the stimulus of anger, without confusing it
with our evaluation.
2. Identify the internal image or judgment, the
projection or story line that is making us angry.
3. Transform this judgmental image into the need that it
is expressing; in other words, bring our full attention to
the need that is behind the judgment.
4. Make a clear, straightforward request of what we
want from the other person in relation to our feelings
and unmet needs.
Applying Awareness to the Emotional
Episode Timeline
Working with Emotional Behaviors:
When we are feeling emotional and ready to act, ask
ourselves:
“Is what I’m about to say or do…
Helpful to me?
Helpful to other people?
Helpful to the world?”
Guidelines for a Wise Break
Suggestions for taking a wise break in close relationships:
Tell the other person you would like to take a “wise break” in order
to avoid being hurtful
Negotiate how long you will be gone
Always come back at the agreed-upon time
If you are still too worked up, make an alternative time to discuss
During the wise break:
Don’t drink, drive, or use drugs
Don’t ruminate on how you are right and what you’re going to say
Practice what you’ve learned to increase relaxation and awareness
Becoming Aware of the Affect
Program Through RAIN
R: Recognize what is happening
A: Allow life to be just as it is
I: Investigate inner experience with a
caring presence
N: Non-identification
How to Work with Hot Triggers
Keep log of regrettable emotional episodes: trigger, behaviour,
what was regrettable. Once have 10 – 15 entries, what do the
triggers have in common? Is there an underlying story, pattern,
narrative or script?
May be able to recognize, in advance, situations likely to lead to trigger and avoid or prepare for them.
Can rehearse alternative behaviour.
Remind ourselves to re-appraise the trigger.
Disable the trigger by removing cognitive projections that distort our view.
In close relationships, once we know what our hot triggers are, we can communicate about the need for a wise break.
To Moderate Emotional Behaviors
Develop “emotionfulness” – attentively considering our emotional feelings
Become more aware what triggers our emotions –identify and weaken our own hot triggers
Learn about the bodily sensations that distinguish each emotion -> alert us to our emotional state
Develop impulse awareness
Become more observant of the emotional feelings of others
Try to broaden understanding of other person’s situation - is refractory period distorting perception?
Even if we cannot reappraise, even if we still feel our feelings are justified, we can choose to interrupt our actions, control face and voice, resist impulses to act
Suggested Reading Ekman, Paul. Emotions Revealed, Recognizing Faces and Feelings
to Improve Communication and Emotional Life, 2003, 2007. Key text
on Paul Ekman’s research and training guidance for increasing
emotional awareness, resonance and regulation.
Ekman, Paul with H. H. the Dalai Lama. Emotional Awareness:
Overcoming the Obstacles to Psychological Balance, 2009.Dialogue with the Dalai Lama on skills needed to develop emotional well-being.
Goleman, D. Destructive emotions: How can we overcome them?
A scientific dialogue with the Dalai Lama, 2003.
Wallace, B. Alan and H.H. the Dalai Lama. Genuine Happiness:
Meditation as the Path to Fulfillment, 2005a. A general text which serves as a good introductory guide to the contemplative practices
that can bring about more lasting well-being and happiness.