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Dealing with Difficult People
Denise Green-‐ Brevet Judge -‐Washington
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Defining “Difficult”
• Simply stated, “Difficult” means:
It is HARDER than it
should be.
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Specific Situations
• Between 2 judges
• Between judge and coach
• Between judge and parent
• Between judge and helper
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Consequences
• Consequences are very limited • Letter in file Consider how you deal with difficult situations
very carefully How can you make the most positive impact
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“Difficult” includes…
• Lack of professionalism
• Different set of moral values
• Lack of knowledge
• Different personalities
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Deal with Problems
• Timely
• Efficiently
• Respectfully
• Fairly
• Completely
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What To Consider
• What is my communication style?
• What is the communication style of the other person?
• What is the best “way” to communicate where they will “hear” you? • Short and Direct approach? • Kind and gentle? • Leading to a solution?
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What to do
• Check your emotions at the door, except for HOPE
• Listen to all sides without judgment
• Ask specific questions to clarify & problem-‐solve
• Be direct, honest and to the point
• Check your accuracy by reviewing
• Share with a trusted friend for assistance
• Maintain confidentiality
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Questions to ask
What was the underlying reason?
• What do they feel was the other persons perspective?
• Would you do anything differently?
• How do they recommend resolving the problem?
• What did we learn?
• How do we resolve this and move on?
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How to be heard
• Calm • Body language • Facial expression • Tone of voice • Word choices • Expected personal space
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Words to use versus not use
“What were you thinking?”
Or
“ You need to..
Instead try:
Let’s think about…
I hear you saying…
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Records
• Take notes of every interaction
• Have those interviewed put it in writing
• Keep a file
• Provide a summary to those in need
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What NOT to do
Ignore the problem
React versus respond
Make problems larger than they are
Admire the problem
Gossip about it
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Our Primary Role
• Check for patterns of concern
• Educate in areas of weakness via • One-‐on-‐one sessions • Email information to membership • Study groups • Clinic sessions
• Continue to model, encourage, and improve our level of professionalism
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If in doubt
• Rely on • Integrity • Honesty If this doesn’t work try to let it go and believe
that Good will prevail (eventually)