Download - Burger King PocketBike Racer 2: 50 Haikus
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7/28/2019 Burger King PocketBike Racer 2: 50 Haikus
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BY CHRISTIAN PATTERSON
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7/28/2019 Burger King PocketBike Racer 2: 50 Haikus
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"Didn't think about
this one all that much at all
and it really shows."
- Rod Naquin
@christianizcool
Christianizcool.tumblr.com
These poems are numbered. I cut many of the haikus and kept their
original numbers. That is why the numbering skips around.
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#1
This coffee makes my
body vibrate. First in my
chest, then goes outward
#2
Wonder Woman was
crafted from clay (Impressive) -
but Gumby was too
#4
Every time I feel
this sleepy, I think, I have
never felt like this.
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#6
Schopenhauer is
a cool name because it is
four syllables long
#9The bar at Dennys
Breakfast at 2pm. in
between mustached men
#10
Someone left a news-
paper in the bathroom stall.
Nice, but I have phone
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#14
The WiFi in this
coffee shop isnt working,
maybe my laptop
#17Ned Flanders started
out as a great character,
now hes self-parody
#19
Pizza Hut kind of
sounds like Matzo Ball but not
really, Idk
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#20
Are Motorhead shirts
the new Joy Division or
the Ramones t-shirt?
#22Ned Flanders is like
a nice Homer, and yet his
wife still passed away
#23
Why do they have Street
Sharks on Netflix Instant, but
not Dino Saucers?
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#24
Contemporary
art is the quintessential
Nanny nanny boo
#25Boo! said the spooky
ghost, Bwaa-a-a said Hank Hill
to his son Bobby
#26
Hi, said the barman
Bye-bye said the barwoman
She bought drinks and left
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#30
Hobo harassing
tourists in Rite Aid, he
tells them they should suck
#31the devils fat d***.
Hes kicked out, but wont leave, call
the cops, I dare you,
#32
he said. Every
cop in town knows me. -- I be-
lieve that, owner said.
#35
Cherry blossoms fall
like a Japanese postcard
in muddy gutters
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#36
I want to go to
a beach with you and stay in
a kitschy motel
#37I want to eat lots
of saltwater taffy with
you on the beaches.
#38
I want to play games
at an arcade that hasnt
changed since the 80s
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#39
I want to play on
bumper boats with you and then
kiss you afterwards
#40I want to sleep in
then get brunch at a crummy
diner at 2pm
#41
I want to wait til
its dark, then stroll the beach
halfway to Gearhart
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#42
Tom Petty, Big Dog
playing pool, eating Taco
Bell, my high school friends
#43I dont know why I
think a lot bout how Flanders
is left-handed too
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#45
Hell is when you think
you have made someone upset
but dont know for sure
#46Hells the feel I get
when Id do anything to
make them all happy
#47
Supermans the last
son of Krypton. Im not the
last of anything
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#54
We could all use a
little more meaning, we could
use a little life
#55We could use more love
but in this society,
we really need reason.
#56
But what good is rea-
son, when were rotting corpses
in the cold, wet dirt?
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#57
But what good is love
by that logic? Well for one
thing, love feels divine.
#59What is a story? Life
is made up of infinity
with no conclusion
#60
Retrospect on life
forms a narrative you had
not noticed before
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#62
Swag is so twenty
ten, but swag can never go
away, here for life
#65Dogs dont deserve to
die. Humans can die but dogs
dont deserve to die.
#66
Jughead & Moose are
weird names but we forget too
Veronica is
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#68
Remember when Mike
Scott said googi googi? What
is googi googi?
#71A list of FroYo
restaurant names I would use:
FroYo Mania
#72
FroYo Yolo, Fro-
zen Gogurt, FroYo Yo-yo
MumFroYo and Sons
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#73
why did Ned Flanders
wife have to die? Flanders is
left handed. Rod Todd
#75Remember when George
said, he was be-boppin and
scattinall over?
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#76
I love being from
the West Coast the crest at the
edge of all Western
#77civilization.
A society built on
a sprawling strip of
#78
concrete. A world built
in or post- modernity,
leeching off the old
#79
world, but forging a
new hyperreality.
The new world, the fake
#80
world. The world that can
crash into the ocean. The
world that we have built to -
#81
the broken gold hingewe built at the edge and now
all have to cling to.