A Book on‘Inside-out’ Approach
To InterpersonalEffectiveness
Principle based paradigm shifts
Seven habits – Powerful lessons in personal effectiveness
Change : Inside-out v/s Outside-in
Discussions
Outlines
Paradigm Shifts
Paradigm shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another
Minor changes in lives can be made by focusing on our attitudes and behaviours; for quantum change we need to work on basic paradigms.
If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions
Many achieve outward success but continue to struggle with an inner hunger
Skills(How to do it)
Knowledge
(Knowing what to do and why)
Desire(Wanting to do it or motivation
)
. .
.
Habits
Effective Habits
Creating a habit requires working in
all three dimensions
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”Aristotle
PublicVictory
PrivateVictory
Dependence
Independence
Interdependence
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
1 2
3
4
5 6
71. Be Proactive
(Responsibility / Initiative)2. Begin with the End in
Mind (Vision / Values)3. Put First Things First
(Integrity / Execution)4. Think Win-Win (Mutual
Respect / Benefit)5. Seek First To
Understand, Then to Understood (Mutual Understanding)
6. Synergize (Creative Cooperation)
7. Sharpen The Saw (Renewal)
Habit 1 : Be Proactive
As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives
Our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions
Responsibility = Response + Ability
Freedomto Choose
Self-AwarenessImagination
ConsciousnessIndependent Will
ProactiveStimulus Response
ReactiveStimulus Response
(Heart)(Mind)(Spirit)(Body)
Habit 1 : Be Proactive (Stimulus V/S Response)
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those
choices lie our growth and our happiness.
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
No Concern
Habit 1 : Be Proactive (Circle of Influence)
Habit 2 : Begin With The End In Mind
All things are created twice
(Mental Creation)Visualization
(Physical Creation)Implementation
Leadership Doing The Right Thing
Management Doing Things Right
Habit 2 : Begin With The End In Mind
We are more in need of a vision or destination and a compass and less in need of a road map
Effectiveness doesn’t depend solely on how much effort we expend, but on whether or not the effort is in the right context
An effective goal focuses primarily on results rather than activity
Nature of visualisation is very important. If one visualizes the wrong thing, then one will produce the wrong thing
Peak performers are visualisers. They see it, they feel it, they experience it before they actually do it.
They begin with the end in the mind
(IV)Productiv
-ity
Linked
(III)Crisis
Related
(II)Interrupt-
ions
(I)Trivial
Activities
.
.
Activitiesƒ Some mail, some calls, time
wasters, pleasant activities
Resultsƒ Total irresponsibility,
dependent on others / institutions for basics
Activitiesƒ Some meetings, some calls,
popular activities
Resultsƒ Short term focus, crisis
management, feel victimized / out of control
Activitiesƒ Pressing problem, Deadline
driven projects
Resultsƒ Stress, Burnout, Crisis
Management, Always putting out fires
Activitiesƒ Prevention, Relationship
building, Recognizing new opportunities, Planning
Resultsƒ Vision, Balance, Control,
Discipline, Few crisis
Urgent Not Urgent
Not
Impo
rtant
Im
porta
nt
Habit 3 : Put First Things First (Time Management Matrix)
•Minimise Quadrant I & II as far as possible•Quadrant IV should be greater than quadrant III•Time saved from quadrant I & II should be invested in IV
Habit 3 : Put First Things First
Time management is really a misnomer – the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves
Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least
Effective people are not problem minded; they are opportunity minded
The key is not to prioritize what is on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities
We have to decide what our highest priorities are and have the courage to say “no” to other things
Lose / Win Win / Win
Win / Lose
Lose / Lose
.
.
High Low
Low
High
Courage
Consideration
Habit 4 : Think Win - Win
People use positions, power, personality, etc
to get their way
This involves self awareness, imagination,
independent will and relationship with others
People are usually quick to please or
appease
People are blind to everything except their
desire for the other person to lose, even if it means losing themselves
.
Habit 4 : Think Win - Win
Win – win is not a technique but a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions
Such solutions / agreements are mutually beneficial and satisfying
Win- win is based on the belief that there is a plenty for everyone (Abundance Mentality)
Success achieved in win-win paradigm is not at the expense or exclusion of the success of others
This approach is co-operative, not competitive
Habit 5 : Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood(Levels of Listening)
Attentive
Selective
Pretending
Ignoring
EmpathicLevels of Listening
Within One’s Own Frame of Reference
Within The Other’s Frame of Reference
Habit 6 : Synergize
Synergy is the principle of creative cooperation where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Ecology basically describes synergism in nature where everything is related to everything else.
Desire to Grow
MaintainStatus Quo
.Habit 6 : Synergize (Developing v/s Restraining Forces))
Habit 7 : Sharpen The Saw (Renewal)
Renewal
Physical(Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Mgmt.)
Mental(Reading, Visualization,
Planning)
Spiritual(Spiritual reading, Study
Meditation.)
Socio / Emotional(Service, Synergy, Security)
“Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in,
and it will come naturally.”David Frost
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to
success when they gave up.”Thomas Edition
Success comes when youBelieve / see yourself succeedingPursue your passion in lifePrepare self before any opportunityHang-on when others have quit
..Knowing Success
Conclusion
“Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something. It is our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit.”
Mary Retton
“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”
Marquise Deffand
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can
help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”W.W. Ziege
Thank You