1
DEFINE “BULLYING”
Negative behavior that is repeated and is
intentional by someone who thinks he/she has
more power (older, bigger, smarter, better than…)
2
TYPES OF BULLYING
• Exclusion
• Put downs
• Intimidation
• Unwanted physical contact
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TEASING VS BULLYING
TEASING: Likeable, playful, pat on back,
sign you are liked/accepted, POSITIVE
BULLYING: Assault, power trip, destroying, intimidating, cowardly, attack, NEGATIVE
4
HOW ARE BULLIES DIFFERENT?
• 60-70% never involved w/bullying• Starts at early age• Hurts him/herself• Become Antisocial Adults• They think others are hostile• They may be desperate
5
HOW TARGETSARE DIFFERENT?
• More sensitive, cautious, quieter
• More anxious or nervous
• Avoid confrontation; cry when attacked
• May not do well in gym or front of class
• Submission when picked on
• Smaller, overweight, skinny, old clothes
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Bully vs.Target
• Bullying hurts
• Social isolation most damaging to bully and to target
• Leads to loneliness
• Leads to disliking school
• Leads to depression
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PROBLEM
Too many students
are being bullied!
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CAUSES OF PROBLEM
• Because bully can get away with it!
• Bully may want to feel superior
• Bully may want the attention
• Bully may want payback
• Bully may have been bullied
• Bully may want to feel accepted
• Bully is not liked
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PEOPLE INVOLVED
• Bully
• Target
• ByStander
GOALS
To have ByStanders Become UpStanders
To have Targets prepared
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SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEM
• Train ByStanders to be UpStanders
• Train Targets
This is what we will do today!
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How ByStanders Can Help
S-A-F-ES - STOP bully, if you can (#1 concern is SAFETY for everyone
A - Get ADULT quickly
F - FACE UP to the bully
E - EMPOWER target by siding with and helping where possible
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Why ByStanders Don’t Help
• “It’s none of my business.”• Fear of getting hurt or becoming victim• Feel powerless to stop bully• Doesn’t like the target • Believes target deserves it• Don’t want to draw attention to self• Fear revenge• Afraid to tell adults• Don’t know what to do
TV: What would you do?
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ByStander May Experience
• Pressure to participate in the bullying
• Fear of speaking to anyone about it
• Powerless to stop bullying
• Fear of being victimized also
• Fear of helping target or associating with
• Guilt for not helping
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POTENTIAL TARGETS
Know your buttons:
• hair color
• size: small, overweight, skinny
• cries easily, looks scared
• shy, quiet
• racial/ethnic difference
• wrong crowd, wrong clothes, etc.
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WHEN BUTTON PUSHED
• Ignore bully
• Try to diffuse with humor
• Speak up to defend yourself
• If possible, leave area immediately
Remember: you give control if you whimper or cry.
Doing nothing means that you win and they lose because you stayed in control!
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PLAN FOR NEXT TIME
• It is most important to be SAFE!!
• Winning is NOT who is best at put downs
• Winning is taking care of your own emotions
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BE ASSERTIVE
SHAKE HANDS1. Passive
2. Weak
3. Assertive
4. Pushy
5. Aggressive
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BULLY MAGNET
• Head down• Shoulders slumped• Face scared• Eyes down• Voice weak
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MORE ASSERTIVENESS
• Look directly at bully
• Shoulders back
• Head up
• Speak with strength
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BULLY-PROOFING
G-I-F-T
GET AWAY
IGNORE if possible
STAND UP for yourself
TELL adult
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REMEMBER
S-A-F-E
G-I-F-T