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باسم هللا الرحمن الرحيم

A WORD FROM THE TRANSLATOR

Alhamdulillah, all praise is to Allah عزوجل we praise him and seek his help and

forgiveness and abundant salutations be upon his noble bondsman and Rasul

Muhammad صل هللا عليه وسلم May Allah عزوجل shower his mercy upon the

honourable house hold of Nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم and all his exalted companions

and all those who follow his beloved lifestyle until the day of resurrection

{Aameen}.

I was presented this booklet in its Urdu version with the title: {MUBAARAK

SHAADI} from the compiler himself, my respected colleague Maulana

Muhammed Saeed Ahmad Pandor, insisting me to translate it into English so

that the English speaking brothers may also benefit from the massive

knowledge contained in this booklet. I myself have been questioned many

times especially by the youths of my native land Kenya, about how a person

has to lead a marital life islamically.

So I proceeded in the name of Allah عزوجل and Alhamdulillah, with the

compassion and grace of Almighty Allah, this booklet was completed. The

Shariah has provided us with very explicit guidelines relating to the different

stages and aspects of marital life i.e. Sexual relations, joking, laughing, playing

and jeering with each other deriving pleasure and gratification from one

another etc.

When a Muslim husband and wife play with each other to fulfil the rights of

conjugal relations, with the intention of giving birth to pious children and

safeguarding one another from illegal relations and desires than this playing

does not remain normal human nature, instead it becomes Haqq {truth},

Sadaqah {charity} and Ibaadah {worship} which accumulates boundless

rewards for the couple.

Lastly, I would like to express my vigorous thanks and gratitude to my revered

and close colleague Qaari Ibrahim Shabbir Mulla who helped me in any way to

compose this translation.

May Allah عزوجل accept our defective efforts and make this booklet a means of

bringing about an Islamic marital life in every Muslim home. Ameen.

QARI MUHAMMED HUSAIN NOORANI له غفر

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والسالم على اشرف الخلق اجمعين لواةالحمد هلل رب العالمين والعاقبت للمتقين والص

سيدنا دمحم بن عبد هللا وعلى أله واصحابه اجمعين اما بعد :

AWORD FROM THE COMPILER

Today one of the greatest issue in our religion Islam is that we have taken the

western culture as يزل ي هللا{that which is revealed from Allahعزجم}, and this

is very explicit that whosoever practices upon the western culture, will never

be successful. Because of the western culture, today the youths of this ummat

are ruined. They are involved in lot of major cases that play a great role in

affecting their health, due to which their marriage life becomes very difficult.

Therefore having a glance upon all of this, the contemptible servant of Allah

with Allah’s infinite mercy and grace, has managed to gather some عزجم

ahaadith of Rasulullah صم هللا عه سهى some rulings and some points of how to

protect ones youth life and how to achieve a successful married life.

One of the main purpose of writing this book is to earn the pleasure of Allah

to make this book a means of salvation for his عزجم I pray to Allah عز جم

contemptible servant in this world and the hereafter. It’s an earnest request to

the readers to remember this contemptible servant of Allah in their duas.

Jazakumullahu khairan

FAQEER MUHAMMED SAEED IBNE AHMAD

غفرله

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ADOLECENCE:- {BULUGH}

There are different signs which occur in a child, denoting that the child has

reached the age of puberty. The major sign is that a child begins to have wet

dreams, or else when a child reaches the age of 15 years he is known to be

adolescent. In this age, the child begins to have lust full desires which he/she

had never thought of before. Sometimes those desires come to overpower

him/her and that is very dangerous for him/her. {Tohfatun nikah}

PROTECTION OF YOUTH LIFE:-

The parents should make sure that their children refrain from bad company,

bad actions and bad gatherings. Moreover they should also make sure, that

their children refrain from intermingling with women. As much as possible, an

adolescent child should spend his or her time in a gathering of pious people

and spend some time in recitation of the holy Quran and remembrance of

Allah. {Tohfatun nikah}

THE NEED FOR MARRIAGE:-

When the lustful desire of a person begins to increase, one of his or her major

wish is how to fulfil that desire. Sometimes this can lead to adultery. So in this

condition a person has to get married as soon as possible and fulfil his or her

lustful desire in a lawful manner. In this lies the pleasure of Allah عزجم and his

Nabi صم هللا عه سهى. It comes in a Hadith where Nabi هللا عه سهى صم says:-

ـخ ـ ـس ـي اح ك ـان

“Marriage is part of my Sunnat” {Ibn e Majah}

It comes in a narration that Nabi صم هللا عه سهى was having a gathering with

the sahabah رض هللا ع in which he said that a person copulates with his wife,

he is rewarded. So the sahabahرض هللا ع enquired, Oh Nabi of Allah, how is

that possible?”Nabi صم هللا عه سهى said that when a person commits adultery,

is he sinful or not? The sahabah رض هللا ع replied in the affirmative that

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indeed surely he is sinful.Then Nabi صم هللا عه سهى said “similarly when a

person fulfils his lustful desires in a lawful place and a lawful manner, than he

is surely rewarded.” { Muslim}

Thus if we get married with the same intention {of earning the pleasure of

Allah and fulfilling our lustful desires lawfully} then InshaAllah there will be lots

of benefits and blessings in our marital life.

WHEN TO GET MARRIED:-

First and foremost we should know that there are five types of Nikaah:-

i. FARDH: This is when a person is financially and mentally stable and

cannot control upon his lustful desires that he or she has a fear of

committing adultery.

ii. WAJIB: This is when a person is financially and mentally stable and has a

fear that his lustful desire will overpower him or her.

iii. SUNNAT: This is when a person is financially and mentally stable and can

control upon his lustful desire.

iv. MAKROOH: This is when a person is financially and mentally stable but

has a fear of oppressing his wife.

v. HARAAM: This is when a person is financially and mentally not stable

and has full faith and assurance of oppressing his wife .{Tawdheehat : sharh

e mishkat}

After knowing this, a person can judge on what level he is. If he deserves

getting married than he should take a step forward. As we all know, this era is

the era of trials and tribulations. That is why a person should as early as

possible get married. When a person can control his lustful desire, than it is for

him to get married at the age of 25 will be more appropriate in the sense that

he will be practicing upon the Sunnat of Rasulullah سهىصم هللا عه

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WHAT KIND OF A GIRL TO CHOOSE AS A LIFE PARTNER

First and foremost if your heart is linking towards a particular girl knowing that

she will be a good life partner, talk to your parents regarding her, or else

request your elder brother, uncle maternal aunt or any other close relative

who can fulfil your need.

ONE IMPORTANT POINT:

Today when people go to see a girl, they only concentrate on her beauty and

make a decision of whether choosing her as a life partner or not. I do not say

that her outside beauty should not be considered; instead a person should

choose a beautiful girl as his life partner which will be a means of increment in

their love after marriage and will restrain him from looking at other women.

Together with that, her character and piety should also be considered which

will lead to a success full happy life.

The prophet صم هلل عه سهىsays in a Hadith:

ان ن ع ـب ر ل ة أ ز ـ ـان خ ـك ح ـب ـس ـذ ن ا ان ج ن ا اث ذ ـب ز ـف ـاظ ا ف ند ا

.اك د ـ ج ب ز ح د ـان

Four things are considered at the time of choosing a girl as a life partner

{1} her wealth {2} her progeny {3} her beauty {4} her religiousness { Mishkat}

Lot of people wish to get married to a very rich girl who is from a grand and

well known family so that people begin to respect them as well as their

children. And if need arises, they can use their wife’s wealth. But Islam teaches

us to consider all of this, not forgetting her piety because when the mother is

pious, the quality of piety will automatically come into the children also.

This word has come in the above Hadith which means “SUCCEESS THAT :فاظفر

STAYS FOREVER” that when the wife will be pious the children will also become

pious. Apart from that her well known beauty is bound till the world. After

death everything comes to an end except the piety in the children which stays

forever and continues in the progeny.

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NOTE: A person should always get rid of love marriage since there are no

blessings in it. One of the main reasons of this is that before marriage a person

falls in love with a girl. They talk to each other, share ideas, go for an outing,

and do all other things which are done by a couple. The only act left is

copulating with each other. After few days of marriage, copulation is also

done. Since all romantic talks and sharing of each other’s ideas of how to lead

a successful marital life are done, the husband and the wife begin to feel bored

of each other.

Normally when a person is in love with a girl, he fulfils all her demands before

marriage. These is only because of fear and worry that if he fails to do so, it can

cause a break up between them.

Before marriage he uses his father’s wealth to fulfil her demands, but after

marriage when she demands for something and he knows that now he has to

use his own earning, that is the time he begins to scratch his head and rack his

brains. When the wife sees that her husband is unable to fulfil her demands,

lot of chaos and use of vulgar language takes place between them, as a result

the husband is forced to divorce his wife.

Therefore, in order to live a successful marital life a person should refrain from

such love before marriage.

RULING OF HOW TO LOOK AT A GIRL

In today’s time, it has become very common and customary that when a

person goes to see a girl, he sits with the girl and talk. Sometimes that sitting

and talking takes place for hours and hours. This is strictly impermissible in

Islam. That girl is ghair-mahram for you.

When it comes to looking, Islam permits only for a little while. It is reported by

Muqhira- bin – suba that

م ظزث انا قهج ل هللا عهخطبج إيزاة فقال ن رسل هللا صه

قال فاظز انا فأ ادز ا ؤدو بكا

>را أدد انخزيذ انساء إب ياجت انداري<

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I sent a proposal to a woman. Thus Nabi [SAW] asked me. Did you look at her,

I said “No” He said, “Look at her, in order to create love and affection between

both of you.” {Ahmed, Nasaayi, Tirmizi,Ibn e majah ,Daarami}

That does not mean that a person should stare at her. I am narrating the actual

ruling of how to look at a girl, which I heard from my ustaadh.

RULING: - Before sending a proposal, a person should find out everything

about the girl. Her wealth, her piety, her habits etc. The only thing that should

remain is to look at her. After making an inquiry about everything, if a person

thinks that the girl is appropriate for becoming his life partner, then he should

go and see her. Thereafter make consultation with his family members, make

istikhara and as quick as possible give a affirmative or negative answer.

The reason why I said this is, today people go to see a girl and give an answer

after two or three weeks. In the meantime, the girl’s parents have rejected

many other proposals just waiting for the answer of the first one. Due that

people refrain from sending proposals to that girl, keeping in mind that their

proposal will also be rejected. This can lead a girl to stay unmarried for the rest

of her life.

Regarding the time limit of looking at a girl, the ulamaa say 5 to 7 seconds not

more than that whatever question you want to ask her, can be done through

your mother, sister, maternal and paternal aunt.

When a boy accepts a girl to be his wife, a day is set for their marriage. This is

known as engagement and it is permissible according to the shariah of Islam.

Many people have a misconception that after engagement, the boy and the girl

become halaal for each other. Nowadays it has become a custom that after

engagement, the boy and the girl begin to talk to each other on the phones for

hours and hours, they go out together for meals etc. Allah forbid and Allah

save us, if due to a misunderstanding between them, they are forced to have a

break up, it will be a great embarrassment for them in the society and no one

will get ready to get married to that girl. That is why it is a duty upon the

parents or guardians of both sides that after engagement, they should get their

children married as soon as possible. As it comes in a hadith words to the

effect : that when a couple of a boy and girl is formed, they should

immediately get married.’ { Tirmizi}

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Our important point is that we should refrain from organising dancing and

music festivals in the joy of happiness of engagement ceremony. It does not

happen that Allah عز جم grabs away the blessings of engagement.

{NIKAH} Nikkah is one of the significant ibaadat. Nabi [SAW] said

س خ انكاح ي

“Nikkah is amongst my sunnat”. First and for most a person should rectify his

or her intention that by doing nikkah, I am practicing upon the sunnat of my

beloved nabi هللا عه سهى صم

Secondly, a person by doing nikkah, should keep in mind that this will be

means of increasing the ummat of my nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم As it comes in a

hadeeth that nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم said: - “on the day of resurrection, I will be

proud of that person who has many children because he is the one who increased my nation”. { Abu dawood, Nasaayi ,Mishkat}

Normally after nikkah rukhsati takes place. Now the bride leaves her home and

family and starts a new life with her husband. This also there is no need of

organising functions and meal ceremonies or now it happens in the Asian

communities, that the bride grooms family takes a group of people to the

brides house, then there is a meal ceremony, music is been played ,the young

girls are dancing, photography is taking place. This is strictly not permissible in

Islam and we should refrain from it.

Nabi صم اان عهع سهى was sent to this world as a teacher and a guide for the

mankind, He صل هللا عليه وسلم has also taught us how rukhsati should take place.

When Nabi’s صل هللا عليه وسلم beloved daughter Hadhrat Fatima رضى اله عنها got

married to Hadhrat Ali رضى هللا عنه Nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم sent Ummu-Ayman

رضى هللا عنها accompanying Hadhrat Fatima رضى هللا عنها to Hadhrat Ali’s house.

So we should also try send two or three women accompanying over newly

married daughter to her respected husbands house.

This is the most awaited night, but lot of people don’t know what to do and

what not to do in that night. Some people after nikkah are really worried that

how are there going to spend their first night with their wives.

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For this Inshallah with the aid of Allah عزوجل I will try to explain how a newly

married couple should spend their first night. Inshallah it will be beneficial.

Firstly the bride groom should enter the room and make salaam. He should

first take a bath and place his right hand on his wife’s forehead and recite

ها و شر ما جبلتها عليه اللهم إنى أسألن من خير ما جبلتها عليه وأعوذبن من شر

Translation: Oh Allah! I’m asking you for her merit with which you have

created her and I seek your refuge from her wickedness and her that

wickedness with which you have created her. {Abu dawood, Ibn e majah ,Mishkat}

After that, the husband should request his wife to perform two rakaat salaat

with him and make dua to Allah عزوجل for every type of integrity in their life,

the increment of love between them, having blessed with pious children and

should also include the dua mentioned below

ق بيننا إ ذا اللهم بارن لى في أهلي و بارن لهم فيى اللهم إجمع بيننا ما جمعت وفر

لت فر

It is narrated by Ibne-Shaqeeq that once a person by the nameHuraiz came to

Ibne-Masood رضى هللا عنه and enquired, “I have got married to a young girl and

I have a worry that will she get inseminated with me or not.” Ibne-Masood

عزوجل replied that love is from Allah رضى هللا عنه and hatred is from shaitaan.

Shaitaan tries his best to create hatred between a husband and a wife. That is

why when you go to your wife, you request her to perform two rakaah salaat

with you. {Musannaf abdur razzaq, Tabraani, Hadiyatul urus}

METHOD OF COPULATING:-

Firstly the couple should recite:

لشيطان و جنب الشيطان ما رزلتنا بسم الل اللهم جنبنا ا

“In the name of Allah, Oh Allah protect us from shaitaan and protect that child

also which you going to bless us with, from shaitaan.”{ Bukhari ,Muslim ,Mishkat}

There after the husband have to imitate and attract his wife towards him. This

is because of the first meeting between the husband and the wife. And the

wife will be feeling more shy then her husband. That is why her husband

should hold her hand and together with love and romantic talks, he should

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play with her fingers. They should also make each other eat something sweet.

By having some romantic talks with her, the husband should slowly by slowly

intimate his wife towards him. Then he should praise about her hair, he should

praise about her eyes. He should than make her laugh to make her alert and

vigilant. It is better for the husband to tell her that now we are life partners

and we have to stay together and share ideas. This will be a means of breaking

their shyness with each other.

When the husband feels that his wife is completely intimated towards him, he

should kiss her on the fore head and slowly by slowly come down towards. He

should kiss on her cheeks than make his tongue into a circular shape and place

it under her ear (where the throat ends) and breath heavily (suck) this will

increase her lust.

This should also be kept in mind that when he is kissing her on different parts

of her body, a women feels more good and her lust increases. But he should

not touch her private part (naval) until she tells him to do so, because some

women dislike this action immediately.Now when he notices that his wife is

physically and mentally ready then he should start copulating .But he should

remember that copulating is not just to force his penis into her private part,

because a woman’s front part contains a skin like known as the skin of

virginity. This is a very sensitive and weak skin which is in the middle part of

her private part, which prevents a male’s penis to go inside. This skin has to

break, she really feels the pain. That is why he has to insert his penis in to

private part with full ease and keep on consoling her.

Normally the private part of a virgin woman is narrow, that is why a husband

should put his finger in it and make it wide. He should than apply some oil on

the outer part of his private part and rub it on the outer part of her private

part. Then he should slowly insert his penis into the vagina and try to break the

skin of virginity. When the skin breaks blood will come out. Now for a while

stop copulating and clean the blood, and let the women rest for a while so the

pain can reduce.Now after resting for a few minutes he can restart copulating.

At the time of ejaculation, he should recite this dua in his heart as it contains

the name of Allah whilst he is in the state of janabat [ impurity] :

فيما رزلتني نصيبا اللهم ل تجعل لشيطان

Imaam gazali has written that after ejaculation, a person should not remove

his penis immediately from the private part of his wife, instead he should leave

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it inside for a while. This is because semen is poured into a women’s private

part, her enjoyment and lustful desire increases.

Whilst copulating, the couple should cover themselves with a bed sheet or

blanket.

Now a question arises that in which method a person copulates with his wife.

There are few methods and modes of copulating from which I will mention

two.

1] The husband should make his wife lie on her back and place a pillow under

her back so that her private part is raised. He should then lift her legs and place

them on his shoulders, holding her thighs with his hands. He should than sit in

the position of tashahud and insert his penis into the vagina. Or else he should

keep her legs apart and sleep on her (in a manner that his stomach adjoins her

stomach). This is the best manner of copulating as Allah عزوجل says in the holy

quraan:

ا تغش حملت حملا خفيفا اها فلم { para 9 : surah aarof : page 342}

In the above verse the word تغشاها means to cover. And a person will only cover

his wife at the time of copulating, when he fully sleeps on top of his wife. {Tohfatun nikah}

2] The husband should lie on his back and make his wife sit on top of him.

There are two advantages in this manner. Firstly there will be a delayment in

ejaculation of the husband semen. Secondly the wife will fulfil her lust full

desires completely. The dis advantage in this method is that the husband’s

semen will not ejaculate in a complete manner and there is a possibility of the

wife’s semen to enter in the husband’s penis. And this can possibly cause harm

to the husband.

NOTE:- Inserting the penis in the backside of a women is haram. As it comes

in a hadeeth where Nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم says { that Allah curse descends

upon those people those people who commit this kind of actions.} {Abu dawood

,Mishkat}

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DO’S AND DON’TS:

1 The husband and wife should not be fully naked at the time of copulating.

Instead they should cover themselves with a bed sheet or a blanket.

2 After ejaculation, the husband should leave is penis into her wife’s Virginia

for a while.

3 When copulating a person should not face his legs or back towards the qibla.

4 A person should clean his mouth.

5 Should not talk when copulating.

6 After copulating if the couple intends to copulate again, it is best to take

ritual bath, then copulate for the second time. If this is not possible then they

should make ablution. If this is also not possible then at least wash the private

parts and all the other parts of the body where there is impurity. Then after

completely fulfilling their desire, the couple should have a ritual bath. If is

advisable to have a ritual bath immediately due to the fear of missing fajr

namaaz with jammat as a result of delayment.

7 Romantic talks between the couple should not be expressed outside the

room. {Muslim}

8 Copulation should not be done in the state of empty or full stomach, instead

it is better to do it 3 hours after meal. and It is harmful to drink water after

copulation. {Ashraf’s blessing}

10 Copulating excessively weakens the eyesight and damages ones man less.

11 It should be done twice or if possible, once a week.

12 After copulating a person should eat something sweet e.g. dates.{ashrafs

blessings}

13 In pregnancy the couple should not copulate as it can harm the wife or the

baby in some way possible.

14 Foreplay (kissing) which happens before copulating should also happen

after. This is known as after play.

15 A husband should ask the wife whether she wants dim light or darkness

while copulating.

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16 Sometimes a women thinks weather the husband is enjoying or not, this

delays her semen to ejaculate. That is why a husband should keep on pressing

her and comfort for while copulating.

17 If the husband dislikes his wife’s certain action, he should not tell her in the

bed, and instead, he should look for another time and tell her.

18 If the husband’s semen ejaculates very quickly, he should not blame his

spouse, instead he should tell her that you looking very attractive to the extent

that I could not control myself.

19 When copulating, a person should not think of any other women. Because

the enjoyment of copulating with one’s wife will end ,and it is haram to do so.

20 It is better to copulate at night, refrain from copulating at the first and last

nights of Islamic months. As it is known from some narrations that shaitaan

spread on the earth in these nights.

21 According to some ulaama it is mustahab to copulate on a Thursday night.

22 The couple should try to copulate in the last part of the night, but not delay

too much that there is no time for a rest.

23 The couple should take care that their fajr salaat should not be missed.

Because if Allah has to bestow a child upon them, it does not happen that due

to them missing fajr salaat the child becomes disobedient.

Q &A :

1 Question: - Can a husband and wife place their private part in each other’s

mouth?

Answer: - No! It is strictly not permissible. As this action is against the human

nature and that mouth with which we say Allah عزوجل recite the Quran and

salutions to our nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم and with that very same mouth commiting

this kind of dirty action is not permissible at all. {Fataawa hindiyyah}

2 Question:- Can a husband and wife look at each others private parts?

Answer: - Yes they can, in fact they should in order to increase lust and

desire,specially the night they intentd to copulate.

3 Question:- How is it to copulate in the backside of a woman?

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Answer:- This is not permissible as it comes in a hadith:-

ول هللا *ملعون من أتي امرأته فى دبرهاعن أبى هريرة * لال رس

Translation :- nabi saw said :- Allahs curse is upon that person who copulates

with his wife in the backside .{Mishkat}

4 Question:-How is it to copulate whilst the wife is in haidh?

Answer:- This is also not permissibleand is haraam. It is a narration of ibn-e-

Abbas ra

والحيضاتك الدبر

That refrain from copulating I the backside and whilst the wife is in Haidh (

Menstrual cycle ) .{Mishkat}

5 Question:- How is it to copulate in pregnancy?

Answer:- It is permissible according to the is lamic law,but it is better not to do

it as it can lead to miscarriage, or any other harm to the women.

6 Question:- How is it to copulate in the first night of mariiage?

Answer. It is better for the couple not to copulate in the first night.

There are some reasons for this :.

1] Since the husband is strange to the wife, so the wife feels shy and afraid, so

if they will copulate, the wife will think that this is the only reason he has got

married to me.

2] On the first night, both the husband and wife must be tired due to being

busy with the visitors,who have come for the wedding,serving food to them

and comforting them. That is why it is better for the newly married couples to

know each otherfor two days, then on the third day they can copulate.

7 question :- What size should a mans penis be?

Answer :- A normal size of a mans penis is 11 c.m. long and 3 c.m. wide {Ashrafs

blessings}

8 Question:- If the wife is pregnant or is in periodand the husband wants to

fulfill his desire what should he do?

Answer:- If the husband has a fear thet he will engage himself in adultery, he

can request his wife to fulfill his desire by using her hands. This is called

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masturbation.(it should be noted that he shouldn’t doit using his own hands.) if

there is no fear of engaging in adultery, he can fulfill his desires in some of the

body parts of his wife e.g

In her armpits.

in between her breasts.

in the backside of her knees.

9 Question:-what is the ruling of a fiancé sending a gift to his fiancée?

Answer:-it is better not to send as she is still a strange woman for him. Some

ulamaa have regarded this gift as bribery. It is better for their parents to send

gifts to each other.if the fiancé really wants to give some thing to the fiaccee,

than the sharia gives some allowance in a condition that the gift should be

very small.

10 Question:-What is the ruling of practicing contraception (removing ones’s

penis frpm the vagina before ejaculation.)?

Answer:-It is not permissible without the concept of the wife. As it comes in a

hadith. {Mishkat}

When contraception is permissible :

1] When there is fear of the wife getting sick ,if she has to get pregnant .This is

when a professional ,well experienced doctor has advised .In this case it is

permissible to practice contraception.

2] If the couple intent to practice child spacing so that the up bringing of the

child could be in a good manner, then the sharia permits the practice of

contraception for two years.

When contraception is not possible:-

1] Fear of having finance to nourish the child.

2] One of the two couples are studing and have a fear that the child will be a

means of them not to study well.

3] If the woman wants to mantain her body figure.

Then it is not permissible to practice contraception.

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NOTE:- Same ruling will apply to the usage of pills, condoms and in todays

time the doctors say that copulating with ones wife as soon sa she completes

her menstruation period, that there is a very less possibility fot the wife to get pregnant. {Muhaqqaq wa mudalla l jadid masaail}

11 Question :- Is it permissible for a wife to wearedible under garments

(made of sweets) then the husband eats the sweets from there?

Answer :- It is better not to. But if there is no fear for the husband getting

engagedin any other haraam action, then it is permissible as long as the sweets

are halaal.

There are some few things by doing them inshaAllah

ther will be an increment of love between them:

1. Some times the husband and the wife should bath together .It is

narrated by hadhrat Aisha رضى هللا عنها and hadhrat Maimunah رضى هللا

رضى هللا عنها and hadhrat umme salaama عنها that they used to bath

together with nabi saw in one tub .{Bukhari ,Muslim} 2. Both of them should eat from one plate.

3. They should feed each other.(as it is a sunnat of nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم )

4. Whenever hadhrat Aisha رضى هللا عنها used to drink water, nabi صل هللا

used to ask her on which side of the glass she had palced herعليه وسلم

mouth whilst drinking. Then nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم used to place his

blessed mouth on that very same side of the glass. Similarly nabi صل هللا

used to do with a piece of meat that from which hadhrat Aisha عليه وسلم

used to eat, nabiرضى هللا عنها وسلم صل هللا عليه used to tear the meat from

that very side.

A husband and wife should also practice that in order to increase love.

5. whenever either of the two enters the house or in the

room he/she should make salaam.

6. Should forgive the shortcomings of each oteher.

7. Should call each other with good and romantic titles, as how Nabi صل هللا

he used to call her )رضى هللا عنها used to call hardhat Aisha عليه وسلم

humairah )

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8. Once Nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم and the sahabah رضى هللا عنهم were returning

from a battle .He sent all the sahabah رضى هللا عنهم ahead except hardhat

Aisha رضى هللا عنها who was left behind. Then Nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم asked

hardhat Aisha رضى هللا عنها ,“what do you say o Aisha should we race?”

She answered in affirmative and they raced. This is also a means of

increasing love between a husband and wife.

9. They should look at each other with love, so Allah looks at them with the

sight of mercy.

NOTE:- A husband andwife can bath together in a bath tub.

After marriage:

– When a person gets married he should give more time to his wife.

Because after Nikaah it is a desire and wish of every woman that the

husband should love her and give more time to her.

– The reason why I am saying this is the youths of today go out with their

friends and return home very late at night. Their wives keep on waiting

for them but the husband does not care about it. I do not say that a

person should not go out with his friends, but he should at least return

home early and spend some time with his wife and children.

– The wife has left her home, parents and friends only to be in the service

of the husband as his life partner. So it is the responsibility of the

husband to take good care of her and inform her wherever he goes.

– Whatever the husband and the wife wishes to do, they should take

opinion and consult each other.

– Some times when the salt is less or more in the food, the husband

should tolerate and praise her hand cooked food.

– The husband should not get angry when the food is delayed.

Note : That is why a person should not get married when he is Still studying in college or university, because he will not be able to fulfil the rights of his wife.

– A woman is really in need of her husband in time of pregnancy and

deliverance. That is why a husband should always try to be with his wife

in these times. In these time of difficulty andpain, if the husband will be

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in the service of the wife , the wife will also be in his service whenever

he will face any kind of difficulty.

After marriage, when the wife comes home, in most of the times the

daughter- in- law (wife) and the mother in law (husbands mother) do

not get along especially when it comes to cooking.

– When to the mother the son cannot tell her anything, but he can explain

to his wife with love. A husband should tell his wife, “It is not your

responsibility to be in the service of my parents, that is my responsibility.

But if you treat my mother as how you treat your mother, then I will be

very happy and love and respect for you will increase in my heart.

– Secondly, a person should not love and do romance with his wife in the

presence of his mother, neither should he call her in a romantic manner

(darling, sweetheart etc) in the presence of his mother, because a

mother is also a woman who has a very soft heart. If she has to see her son loving his wife, she may get jealous of her and say that now my son

doesn’t love me but loves his wife.

– Moreover, it is possible that the love and attention, a person gives to his

wife, his mother may not have achieved the very same attention from

her husband. In this case, if a person has to love his wife in the presence

of his mother, the mother will really feel it. That is why a person should

tell his wife that we will have romance only in the room and outside the

room; we will only love as good.

– One way of creating love between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-

law is by giving gifts for his mother when she returns from her mother’s

house similarly a mother-in-law should do. As nabi صل هللا عليه وسلم said

that giving gifts increases love.

We are now going to discuss some things a person has to refrain from

his youth. First and foremost a person should safeguard his sight from all

unlawful things. He should not look at a ghair mahram woman.

It comes in a hadeeth:-

نع هللا اناظز انظران

Translation:- Allah’s curse is upon that person who looks at a ghair

mahram and upon that woman who is looked upon .{Mishkat}

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Allah لىتعا says in the holy Quran:-

Para 18 : surah} الخبثات للخبثين والخبثون للخبثات الخ...................noor : page 491 }

When a person looks at a ghair mahram woman in his youth, it is

possible for Allah to grant him a wife who looks at other men with lust.

and if he has to carry on with that after marriage, his wife will do the

same.

I would like to narrate an incident which Mufti Mahmood Bardoli sahib

said in one of his lectures:- Once a rickshaw driver came to Mufti sahib

and enquired: “Oh Mufti sahib! I am a rickshaw driver and return home

late at night .but once accidentally it so happened that I reached home

early and I saw something awkward, that my wife was sleeping with a

strange man. What do you suggest me to do? ” so the Mufti sahib

replied and said “make Allah as your witness with firm conviction and

say that I have never ever carried out such an act with a ghair mahram

(strange ) woman.” So the rickshaw driver dangled down his head in

shame and confessed his action with a ghair mahram woman. Then the

mufti sahib recited the above verse of the holy Quran.

In todays era, large number of youth look at ghair mahram women and

observe blue movies and naked pictures of women on their phones.That

is why their mind is diverted full towards women. This results having wet

dreams in their sleep. If a person perpetually revolves women in his

mind, he ends up having a wet dream daily or alternatively due to this

,his semen becomes thin and penis becomes weak.

When his lustful desires exceed the limit, all what he thinks is how to

fulfill his lustful desire with a woman. That Is why he hires a prostitute

and fulfills his lustful desire,or else he engages himself in sodomy (homosexuality). Some people go to the extent of master bating.

This act weakens the veins of the penis, makes the semen to become

thin,decreases ones semen and leads to premature ejaculation. Which

means when a person copulates with his wife, his semen will ejaculate

very quickly and swiftly, that fails to fulfill her lustful desires in an

unlawful manner e .g .committing adultery.

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That Is why a person should refrain from all those things which can

divert his mind towards women.

REMEDY FOR PREMATURE EJACULATION :

1],,Pound 50g coriander seeds with 50g sugar. Each morning and evening mix

5g of it with 2glasses of water and drink (should start 3 months before

marriage.)

2] Take 50g of chana and 50g of tiny sugar cubes and mix them in a cup. Have

this mixture one hour before intercourse. ( Do not drink water after taking this

).

REMEDY OF HOW TO INREASE SEMEN:

1) Fresh fruit, vegetables, chicken etc.

2) Those food which contain more zinc e,g banana, wheat, almonds,

avocado etc.

3) Drinking 12 to 14 glasses of water daily.

4) Should not copulate excessively

5) Should refrain from that type of bodily exercise which gives a loss to the

testicles. e.g. cycling

REMEDY OF HOW TO INCREASE POTENCY (CAPABILITY OF

HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE):

1) Boil 3 dry dates,1 spoon full of honey and 2 elachi in half litre milk then

leave it for a whole night, drink it in the morning on an empty stomach

{should start 20 days before marriage}

2) Chew 2 to 4 cloves of garlic daily.

3) 15g carrot, cut intoslices, one boiled egg, one spoon full of honey, should

be eaten early in the morning on an empty stomach{should start one

month before marriage}

4) Drink carrot and watermelon juice.

5) Ginger juice, carrot juice, onion juice, 2 yorks of eggs with honey or

suger, take the mixture with milk {should start one month before

marriag }

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Alhamdulillah, with Allah’s infinite mercy and grace , this book has come to its

completion. May Allah عزوجل make this book first and foremost for me and the

reader a means of Hidayat in this world and the hereafter. (Ameen)

Secondely , I would like to thank all my colleagues who assisted me in writing

this book. My distinct and precise thanks to Qaari Muhammad Hussein Noorani

of Kenya and Qaari Muhammad Ridhwan Patel of Malawi and

Qariabdurrahman of Zanzibar and Qari Ibrahim mulla of Zambia who

persuaded me more in doing this job. I was thinking that the book should be

translated to English and asked my colleague Qaari Muhammad Hussein

Noorani for his view and he gave an affirmative answer and got ready for the

task.

May Allah fulfill all their needs and good intentions and reward them

abundantly. (Ameen)

مربنا تمبل منا انن أنت السميع العلي

THE END