bullying: the accused's perspective

D A M I A N S T O U P EW W W . G R O U N D E D W O R K P L A C E S . C O M

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Bullying:the accused’s perspective

@DamianStoupe

[email protected]

http://www.groundedworkplaces.com/

QuestionIf you were to sum up the word

‘bully’in one word, image or sound (or a very, very short phrase)

what would it be?

Note: try not to censor what you think or say

@DamianStoupeGroundedWorkplaces.com

consider the ...

• Victim, perpetrator, target, bully and so on

Language of

bullying...

• Personal experiences• website names and self-help book titles

• “Bully Off”, “Bully in sight”, “Beat the bully”, “Just fight on!”, “Fighting back!” ...

Mythology of bullying

• Type in bully on ‘Google’ and see the results

Imagery of bullying


Do these people look familiar?


Question:

What do you consider to be bullying behaviours?


There is a slight problem...

No legal definition of bullying Working definition changes over time 1850 – related to objective physical acts of violence Today – move to include more subjective definitions

However: No agreement on any other behaviours (Rayner & McIvor 2006)

Indirect acts are more common than direct acts (Hoel & Cooper 2000)


Current thought...

if the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behaviour and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply. www.bullyonline.org

@DamianStoupeReal People + Real Passion = Real Performance

http://www.bullyonline.org/

Question:

How would you react to being called a ‘bully’?


4 Phased response to accusations

Adaptive

•need to change (1), behaviour to other person would change (+/-) (1), it's true I am (1), adapt if necessary (1)

Reflective Phase

•Question (2), review behaviour (6), unwarranted criticism (1), seek advice (1), ask why (1), justify (1), their perception at that time (2), depend on relationship (1), more questions than answers (1), label causes problems (1), acceptance issue- right/wrong (1), claim of bullying could be bullying (1), it’s a strength (1), communicated/projected (1), at time yes (1)

Expressive Phase

•Defensive (7), unsurprised (1), disbelief (1), their problem (2), define bullying (1), protest innocence (1), undermined (1), dismissive (1), fight fire with fire (1), silence (1), why do you say that? (1), in what context? (1), who said it? (1)

Emotional Phase

•Surprise (4), disappointed (3), appalled (2), hurt (3), gutted (2), sad (2), upset (6), devastated (4), horrified (2), mortified (2), amazed ashamed (2), angry (3), offended (1), embarrassed (1) , aware of own internal bully (2) , fuck off (1)

Internal ExternalExternal Internal

Conflict [email protected]

Impact of trauma

ViolenceActual/perceived

Emotional reactionShame, Guilt,

humiliation, self-blame

RevengeCompetition/substitution


Interdividual Bullying Model

Accidental Bullying

Career Bullying

Organisational B

ullying

“Psychopath” Bullying

Vic

tim

Bul

lyin

g

fear, personal history, lack of assertiveness/personal skills...

Stress, duress, performance targets,business climate

performance issuesJob protection...

career developmentculture, models ...

scapegoat


Conflict Relationships

I

Persecutor

Helper

VictimInternalModel

Acceptance Rejection

Identify Scapegoat

Outer WorldOuter World Immediate Relationships

External Model

Communitarian Individualism

Impact of forgiveness, sublimation,

unconditional positive regard

Impact of subjective

competition, blame,

judgement, fear

Region of Internal Struggle


the victim bully

strident‘Everyone’s a winner’

culture

Under attack from• Despotic bosses• Jealous peers• Subversive subordinates

passiveUnduly sensitive

Manipulative whiners

not getting what they consider they deserve


The organisation as bully

Culture of organisation Carefully crafted or remnant of bygone days? Public face v internal reality Requirements/desire to fit

Role of sub-culture Coercive working environment Implicit or explicit approval for aggressive behaviours Influential role models

NB: People make up the organisation and change is possible if the desire for change is there


Culture creates bullying

Observation (based on Bandura 2003)

Managers using coercive

methods of control

Putting a value on aggression

Examples of leaders,

celebrities, media figures

Reward & Punishment(based on Fox & Boulton 2003, Tapper & Boulton 2005)

if recipient responds with aggression, they will use

it again.

Aggression reduces annoyance OR gains

rewards Means to satisfy needs//desires


different approaches to managing people

Blame managers

Result managers

No punishment**

Risk acceptance

Outcome focussed

Objective

Reduced risk

Reduced initiative

Look after their own credit rating

Subjective


Summary

Bullying is about complex relationships It involves everyone in the workplace And their own narratives

It brings into focus the environment factors It challenges the responsibilities of everyone Organisations promote policies Individuals con only change themselves

Need to promote: Confidence, trust and support Move away from victim-centred environment

To tackle it – everyone needs to change.


bullying: the accused's perspective

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