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Murphy, Lois B.; Leeper, Ethel M.From "I" to "We". Caring for Children No. 8.Child Development Services Bureau (DHEW/OCD),Washington, D.C.DHEW-OCD-74-10337329p.; For other booklets in the series see EC 052600-604, EC 061 825 and 826, EC 061 828 and 829Superintendent of Docum6nts, U.S. Government PrintingOffice, Washington, D. C. 20402 (Stock Number1790-00014, $0.60)

MF-$0.75 HC-$1.85 PLUS POSTAGE*Child Care Centers; *Early Childhood Education;ExcepUonal Child Education; Group Behavior;*Interpersonal Competence; Social Adjustment; *SocialDevelopment; *Social Experience

ABSTRACTDiscussed are ways to help the preschool child

develop social skills within the context of the child care center.Social growth is seen to be a gradual process which is helped byconsistent care provided by the same individual for the first fewyears of life. Guidelines are offered for recognizing a healthysocial outlook and include noting how the child expresses hisfeelings. Stressed is the teacher's function as a model of socialbehavior. The development of a healthy self image is seen to involvepos!tive experiences in the areas of competence, self care skills,group membership, sexual identification, and self defense. Gettingalong with others is seen to require learning difficult skills suchas sharing, waiting, showing acceptable manners, expressingfriendship, competing constructively, and demonstrating concern forothers. Growth from individual to group concern is thought to befostered by experiences in exchanging ideas, cooperating andpretending, playing, and eating together. (DB)

DHEW Publication No. (0CD) 74 1033

LOIS B. MURPHY, Ph.D.ETHEL M. LEEPER

U S. DEPARTMENTOF HEALTH,

EDUCATION AK ELFARENATIONAL INSTITUTE

OFTHIS DOCUME EDUCATION

NT HAS BEENOUCED ExacrivAS RECEIVE° REPRO

FPOMTHE PERSON OR ORGAN,tATIGNORIGIN*TING IT POINTS

OF VIEW OR OPINIONSSTATED DO NOT NECESSARILYREPRESENTOFFICIAL

NATIONALINSTITUTE OFEDUCATION

POSITION OR POLICY

Photo Credits: Lois B. Murphy, Dorothy Levens,VME Smith, Office of Education

U.S. DEPARTMENT OFHEALTH, EDUCATION, AND WELFAREOFFICE of CHILD DEVELOPMENT 'BUREAU of CHILD DEVELOPMENT SERVICES

caring for childrennumber eight

FROM "rTO "WE"Preface 2

Acknowledgements 3

Growing Up Socially 5

A Gradual Process 5Baby Needs People 6Is He Friendly or Suspicious? 8Recognizing a Healthy

Social Outlook 8Helping So "ial Growth 10

Who Am I? 11

A Healthy SelfImage 11A Competent Person 12Looking After Myself 14An Important Member of an

important Group 15A Happy Boy or Girl 16Standing up for Myself 17

Getting Along with Others 19

Sharing 19Waiting 19Manners 20Friendship 20Competition 21Showing Concern 22

"I" Becomes "We" at theChild Care Center 23

Exchanging Ideas 23It's Fun to Cooperate 23Let's Pretend 25Having Fun Together 26Eating Together 26

For sale by the Superintendent of Documents, U.S. Government Printing OfficeWashington, D.C. 20402 Price 60 cents

Stock Number 1700-00014

preface

The influence of a good child care centeris not limited to the children who are cared for,the staff itself, or the mothers who participate.Older and younger brothers and sisters, friends,neighbors, volunteers may all gain from changesbrought about by the child care center. In someinstances, the neighborhood is brightened up,inspired by the attractiveness of the center, andpride emerges to spark new efforts. Schoolteachers and principals, ministers, and localagencies also grow more helpful, more interestedin children.

This comes from the friendliness of thecenter staff to the whole family and to the neigh-bors. It also comes from the quality of everyaspect of the child care centerthe cheerfulsetting, the good food, the well-organized spacefor activity, the children's progress in learningand self-control, the experience of helping to im-prove the center itself and the neighborhood, theresulting good feelings, and a contagious, senseof progress.

At one child care center on a dirt roadfull of deep ruts and holes, with some adjacentyards full of junk and neighboring houses in a rundown condition, major changes occurred. The citystreet department improved the road; the realestate agent repaired and painted nearby houseswhile resident owners painted their own; and vol-unteers from the police department cleaned upthe junk. Yards bare and full of scraggly weedswere seeded and made neat. It all takes effort,but the response releases new energy.

Thus child care centers have the oppor-

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tunity of providing massive help for the nation'schildren through contributing to wholesome phy-sical, mental, and social development, and alsoto an improved environment for the children. Thechild in a good center all lay will receive goodfood, exercise, and rest to build a healthy body,as well as assistance in correction of physicalproblems.

Through constant communication withteac,iers and aides, language is developed, vo-cabulary is enlarged naturally, thought is stim-ulaied, and a healthy self-concept evolves. Useof toys and other play and work materials in-volves exercise and development of sensorymotor skills, along with many concepts of color,size. shape, weight, balance, structure, and de-sign. Stories and songs encourage integration offeelings, action, and ideas, while developingimagination.

Spontaneous play in the housekeepingcorner or with blocks allows the child to play outhis observations of the family and the commun-ity. Other children may broaden their ideas andskills through watching and joining in the play.

Neither health, nor adequate mental de-velopment, nor constructive social behavior canbe guaranteed for the rest of the child's life if thefollowing years do not also meet his needs ade-quately. But good total development in childhoodcan provide prerequisites for further growth andcan help to prevent the beginnings of retardation,disorganized behavior, early delinquency, andemotional disturbance.

acknowledgments

I owe most to two groups of workers withyoung children: first, my former colleagues atSarah Lawrence College, who taught the childrenat the Sarah Lawrence Nursery SchoolEvelynBeyer, long time director of the nursery school,and Marian Gay, Rebekah Shuey, and also col-leagues at Bank Street College for Teachers withwhom at different times I shared teaching andresearch experiences. But in addition, I owe muchto the directors and teachers of many nurseryschools and day care centers across America andaround the world. Especially exciting to me werethe Basic Education schools of India, initiated byGandhi and Zakir Hussain; and Bat Ghar in Ah-medabad, Indiaa unique integration of the bestAmerican nursery school concepts, Montessoriprinciples, Basic Education, and somI traditionalIndian patterns, organized with a special balanceof good structure and flexibility that I came toknow as Kamalini Sarabhai's genius.

I am equally grateful to the creative staffof the North Topeka Day Care CenterJosephineNesbitt and Forestine Lewis, who "dreamed up"the center to meet the needs of deprived childrenin their area; and among the intercultural groupof teachers and directors, Sarita Peters, MaryWilson, Jane Kemp, Connie Garcia, Chris Smitheach of whom had special talents In handlingthe children, ttimulating and supporting theirgrowth. Cecile Anderson has been especially gen-erous in sharing her unique storytechniques,observations of children's favorite stories, andways of looking at children's constructiveness andpride in achievement. Among the volunteers, Li!-

Dan Morrow was an inspiration to all of us withher sensitive, skillful, and quietiy warm ways, andCarol Rousey contributed expert and helpful as-sessments of the children's speech and languagedevelopment.

The leadership of the local CEO direc-tor, Robert Harder, and later J. A. Dickinson, stim-ulated staff, parents and neighbors, Girl Scouts,occupational therapy groups in local hospitals tohelp paint, plant shrubbery, build outdoor playequipment, provide toys so as to make possiblea pleasant and well-furnished environment forlearning and for total development. Shirley Norris,director of Kansas State Day Care, Anna Ransom,wise dean of Topeka day care efforts, and Mr. S.Revely, the local realtor who renovated the neigh-borhood houses for the Center, all gave time,energy, and warm interest to the development ofthe Center.

I also want to express my appreciation tothe responsive mothers whose progress alongwith that of their children gave me a new under-standing of human potentialities in children andadults of all ethnic groups in America and theurgency of making it possible for these to be ex-pressed.

These guidelines were initiated by Dr.Caroline Chandler, former Chief, Children's Men-tal Health Section, National Institute of MentalHealth, and were supported by PHS Grant R12-W.0266, the Menninger Foundation, and Chil-dren's Hospital of the District of Columbia. Theywere prepared under the supervision of Mrs.Franc Balzer, former Director of Head. Start'sParent and Child Center Program.

Lois B. Murphy, Ph.D.

3

FROM "I"TO "WE"

Enjoying other children develops sodas feeling.

4

If a newborn infant could put his feelings into words, every sentence would start with"I." For this completely self centered creature,everything exists solely to make him comfortable."I am hungry." "I am wet." "I want to sleep.""I want to be held." These are the words hewould say. Yet within a few short years, "1" mustbegin to give way to "you" and "we" if the babyis going to grow into an adult who lives happilyin the world as we know it. The process is slowand difficult.

It is natural for human beings to thinkof their own needs first. No one likes to be heldup in a traffic jam, yet we must learn to waitpatiently until the cars in front move on if wewant to drive a car on crowded highways. Wemay enjoy listening to loud music late at night,but we must discipline ourselves to listen tosofter music if we want to live in an apartmenthouse with close neighbors. Living near otherpeople requires us to restrain our own wishes attimes so that we do not make life unpleasant forthem.

There have always been some who donot want to be near people. A few go off by them-selves into the wilderness and become hermits.Even in big cities, we sometimes see recluses wholive alone and never have a kind word or a smilefor anyone. Most people pity those who cannotlive with others, for joy is multiplied when it isshared.

In the early days of America it waspossible to get away from other people. Many ofthe frontiersmen who helped settle the West lefttheir homes in the East to acquire free land orsearch for gold. Some took their families andbuilt homes away from anyone else. Others werecontent to be alone with their horses. They werenot true hermits, for most of them enjoyed company when it came their way. At the same time,they enjoyed solitude and did not depend onother people for very much.

Today the emptiness is virtually gonefrom America. With the increasing populationthere are fewer places !eft where one can getaway from the crowds. More than ever it is necessary for our children to grow out of the "I"world and into a "We" world. When a child entersa child care center, he is just beginning to graspthe idea that he is a separate individual in a

world of many people. His social outlook is developing during these early years. Satisfyingexperiences with other children and understanding adults can help each child leave the selfishconfines of his "1" world and become a sociallyresponsive citizen of a We world.

growing upsocially

A Gradual ProcessOne of the happiest days ina riew rnother's life is when her baby first smilesat her. Until now she has been his slave, runningwhen he cries, changing him when he is soiled,feeding him when he is hungry. Now for the firsttime, when he is about two months old, her babyrecognizes her. That fleeting smite repays amother for all the sleep she has lost and all thesteps she has run.

Actually, her baby has been aware ofher from the time she first held him close. Whenonly a couple of weeks old, he fixed his eyes onhers while he was nursing. He adjusted his posture to her way of picking him up. But this smile

5

is the first outward response to the person whohas been closest to him. Mother naturally smilesback and shows baby how much she appreciateshis effort. This encourages him to try new waysof communicating with her and receiving her ap-proval in return. Baby is on his way toward be-coming a social person.

By the time he is a year old, he showsthat he enjoys imitating what he sees someoneelse do. He will try to brush his teeth with anytoothbrush within reach or try to read a news-paper like Daddy does. He delights in repeatingacts that make people laugh, He loves to be thecenter of attention and devises numerous tricks,from throwing his dinner on the floor to rollinghis eyes and clapping his hands, just to getsomeone to look at him.

Mother is still the center of hiE uni-verse. He watches her for clues as to what sheexpects. He wants to please and likes to bepraised. He will offer her his cookie after he hastaken a bite, or he may even take out part thathe has chewed and try to stuff it into her mouth.He wants to share his treasures iiith the personhe loves.

In trying to please Mother, the toddlerwill experiment with sounds that he has heard heruse. Eventually his sounds will become wordswith meanings, and he has taken a step towardusing language to respond socially.

He cares so much for his mother thathe cries when she leaves. If she has to be awayfor a long time, he may lose his appetite and getdepressed. if possible, it is better for baby toknow at least two adults well, Perhaps fathercan feed and dress him for bed at night, orgrandmother can take over on a fairly regularbasis. Then if mother becomes sick, baby doesn'tfeel his world has crumbled.

Despite hi.; love for his mother, theworld of a oneyearold still revolves around him-self. He may enjoy watching other children, buthe hasn't yet learned how to play consideratelywith anyone. He is likely to push or even bite hisplaymate or sit on him. Yet he needs to find outthat there are other people in the world who donot cater to him. He must learn that when hebites another baby, the hurt baby will cry, andmother, who usually approves of what he does,will scold.

Toward the end of his second year, hewill still enjoy watching other children and may

6

give another child a toy. This is a good time forhim to play with older children rather than berestricted to his own age group. A child of fouror five often likes to play house with the toddleras the baby. In the company of an older child,a one- or twoyearold can enjoy the social con-tact without having to fend off attacks that arelikely to come from a child his own age. When heis two, he may be happy playing next to anotherchild, but he probably has not yet learned to co-operate with someone else in his play.

Baby Needs PeopleIt may seem easier to leavea baby alone until he knows how to behave withother people. Play pens and cribs come equippedwith eye-catching figures that hang over his heador colorful balls that spin and rattle when theyare hit. Bottle holders have been scientificallydesigned to hold the bottle in the correct pow-tion so that baby may eat alone. Some mothersmay even reason that baby is happiest alone Withhis toys.

Most people who study child devel-opment do not agree. Thera has never teen atoy manufactured that can take the place of hu-man contact. While some time alone each daywill be good for the baby, long periods of Isola-tion can cripple his natural sociability, Infantseats that support baby's weak back and neckwhile allowing him to sit up and watch otherpeople are a boon to both mother and baby. Hecan enjoy being close to her while she continueswith her household chores.

It is particularly important for baby tobe with other people as he approaches his firstbirthday, for this is the period when he is devel-oping many of his social attitudes. If he Is keptisolated, he may revert to his infantile habits ofsucking his fingers or rocking his body. He maybecome so dependent on these habits that he isunable to give them up later in exchange for nor-mal socia: relationships.'

An infant who enjoys the security andwarmth of consistent care by the same personuntil he is two or three years old seems to bebetter fortified to handle life's pressures. This is

1 Susan Isaacs, The Nursery Years (Nev, York: ShockenBooks, 1968).

./alk

L

Most loung children want physical contact with an adult.

7

a particular concern in providing care for youngchildren of working mothers, for it points to thedesirability of having the same person look afterthe same babies day after day, especially atfeeding time.'

Is He Friendly or Suspicious?--Janie is a naturally friendly child. She will go off happily withany new person, trusting completely that no onewill harm her. Her mother worries that some dayJanie will be too trusting for her own good. Afterhalf a day at the child care center, Janie was somuch at home that anyone would think she hadbeen there for months.

Jenny is just the opposite. She shunsstrangers. She clung to her mother for dear lifewhen mother tried to leave her at the center. Ifmother stayed, Jenny was willing to stayneverventuring very far away. The moment motherstood up to leave, Jenny flew to her side andscreamed to go with her. It was a week beforeJenny would allow her mother out of her sight,and it was two months before she left her motherwillingly in the morning.

Why are two tittle girls the same ageso different in their attitudes toward others?

Each child has his individual patternof social, as well as physical, development. Someof it depends on his home life and his relationships with the people who live with him. Childrenin large families learn how to get along withothers through normal brother-sister play andtussles. An only child, on the other hand, mayhave to learn his lessons in social living throughhard experiences on the playground or in theclassroom. Twins who always have one anotherto lean on may be slow in responding to othersbecause they do not need anyone else.

A child who is constantly scolded andmade to feel h' does everything wrong may havea difficult time developing socially. He may beso afraid of displeasing the adults around himthat he keeps to himself where he can't get intotrouble, or he may take the opposite route andgo out of his way to create trouble. Like the isolated child, he too may return to infant pleas-ures and develop habits that will satisfy him, butput barriers in his way to making social contact

2 Margaret Mead, "Working Mothers and Their Chil-dren," Manpower Magazine (June 1970),

8

with others.A child, like Jenny, who cannot face

up to leaving mother, may have become veryanxious at a young age when mother was ill andhad to be away in the hospital for a long time.

Physical traits may also affect a child'ssocial responsiveness. A child with sensitive earsmay be frightened by a teacher's loud voice andretreat to some quiet, inner world in which hefeels safer. A child with poor eyesight may havedifficulty identifying people by sight and maychoose to ignore them rather than risk making amistake.

Where a child lives may also influencehis social development. A country child may havestrict parents who do not believe in "sparing therod," yet he may feel very little restriction because he is free to roam widely in the open fieldsnear his home. To him all people may seem friendlyand nature is kind. The city child may have permissive parents who give him a great deal offreedom at home, yet he must be so protectedfrom traffic and other dangers of city life that hemay be suspicious in new places.'

Recognizing a Healthy Social Outlooklt doesn'ttake a knowledge of psychology to know who islikeable and who is disagreeable, Generally, welike the people who are pleasant to be with. Ascarefully as the teacher in a center tries to treatall the children alike, she can't help feeling closerto sunny Maria, who greets her in the morningwith a smite and a hug, than to moody Ernestine,who turns from her \A ith a scowl.

Ironically, Maria probably does notneed teacher's attention as much as Ernestinedoes. The person who can show affection spon-taneously is healthier socially than the one whostiffens and looks the other way.

How can teacher be sure that her chil-dren are normal in their social responsiveness?Every one divlays unpleasant behavior at sometime. Even friendly Maria has thrown water onthe floor in anger because teacher told her itwas time to leave the water table and go outdoors. There also are occasions when surly

3 Gardner Murphy, Lois Barclay Murphy, and Theo-dore M. Newcomb, Experimental Social Psychology(New York: Harper & Brothers, 1937). Reprinted byWestport, Conn. Greenwood Press, 1972.

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Mirror play can help a child realize that he is a distinct person, different from every other Child.

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Ernestine will snuggle up on teacher's lap for astory. What can teacher look for in each of herchildren to measure their social development?

She can watch how each child respondsto other children. Does he talk with them? Doeshe offer something to another child or try to getsomething from him? Does he help others? Doeshe have a special friend? Is he willing to share?Does he criticize, advise, correct, imitate, or cooperate with other children? Can he laugh at ajoke?

What is he like with adults? Does hesmile at them? Does he show his feelings bymaking statements like, "I like you," or "What'syour name?" Does he enjoy physical contact withan adult? Does he try to imitate what teacherdoes?

Is he able to show pleasure and enthusiasm? Does he call out "See what I can dol"when he masters jumping off a bench or kickinga ball? Does he run gaily to teacher to show herthe ladybug he found? Can he throw himself intothe actions of a singing game? Can he enjoy lis-tening to a story?

Is he a cooperating member of thegroup? Does he generally follow the rules ct thecenter and accept the limits of behaAor set byteacher? Every child is likely to slip once in awhile. It is hard to remember to turn off the out-door voice after coming inside or to walk insteadof running. It is hard to remember not to bopanother child who bumps you by accident (but totell him to watch where he is gthng), When reminded of the rule, does the child accept thereminder and change his behavior willingly? Doeshe feel that he belongs? Does he use words like"my friend," "my teacher," or "my school?"

Can he let off steam by pounding onclay or punching a ball instead of a person? Willhe defend himself if someone else attacks him?Can he compete in races according to the rulesand lose sportingly? Does he try to talk out hisangers and frustrations before losing his temper?Can he express his feelings through painting ordrawing?

Is he learning to wait his turn? Does heallow someone else to play with a favorite toy fora while? Can he enjoy a story that another childselected?

No child behaves perfectly all the time.If teacher can observe a child and answer "yesmost of the- time" to these questions, she can be

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When a child sees that his work with his name on It Isgood enough to hang on the walls of his room, he feelsproud of his accomplishment.

pretty sure that the child's social development isnormal. If she can answer "yessome of thetime," she will know that the child is makingprogress, but may need some additional help Ingetting along with others. If teacher must answer"no" to most of the questions, she knows thatshe has a child who requires a great deal of helpfor social development. His poor social behaviormay even be a clue to some serious emotionalproblem that may require psychiatric, therapy.

i

Helping Social GrowthChildren tern a gooddeal by doing what they see older children andgrownups do. This is particularly true in the areasof social behavior. If the folks in Caleb's homehelp one another and are thoughtful of neighbors,Caleb is likely to be considerate of others too.The opposite is also true, because children copyunpleasant behavior from grownups as well. WhenMarcos' mother beat him with a belt because he

played with her lipstick, he learned that It is allright to beat up another child who takes some-thing belonging to him.

In a child care center it is the teacherwhom the children will imitate. She must set theexample for acceptable social behavior. WhenMartin and Tina got Involved in a sandthrowingfight over the only spade in the sandbox, teacherremained calm, "If Martin had the spade first, youmust let him dig with it for a little while," teachersaid. "You come with me, Tina, and we'll see Ifwe can find something else for you to dig a bighole with."

Teacher took Tina by the hand andwalked with her to the toy shed where they founda tin cup as a substitute for the spade. Returningto the sandbox with Tina, teacher told Martin,"Tina would still like to use that red spade, soafter you have used it a while longer, it will beTina's turn to use it and you may use her cup.I'll tell you when it is time to change."

By finding a reasonable solution totheir conflict, teacher showed the children thatthere are better ways to solve problems thanhurting one another. Her friendly help in findinga substitute made up somewhat for the loss Tinafelt in having to give up the attractive spade.

Sometimes adults react to children'sanger with anger of their own. Teacher could havegrabbed the spade from Tina's hand and told thechild to go find something else to play with. Withno ideas where to look for "something else" anda feeling that teacher had turned against her andsided with Martin, Tina's anger could have growninto an uncontrollable tantrum that could havedisrupted the entire group.

If the children are going to copy teach-er's behavior, they must look on her as a personthey can trust. She may be firm and insist onobedience to the rules, but she must enforce themfairly. Children are extremely aware of injusticesto themselves. "No fair" is a phrase childrenlearn early and use often. After teacher tells Mar-tin and Tina they must trade digging tools in alittle while, she must be sure to tell them when itis time. If she forgets, or assumes that becauseTina has stopped crying she has forgotten thered spade, she is making a serious mistake. Chil-dren do not forget as many promises as we thinkthey do. When teacher forgets a promise, thechildren learn that her word is not trustworthy.If she can't be trusted in this incident, then other

things She says are probably not true at'well.Many young children seem to crave

physical contact with an adult. Visitors to a childcare center for the first time often are surprisedhow quickly some c0 the children will approach astranger and immediately climb on his lap orplayfully pull his hair or rub his arm. These chil-dren need the warmth of a supporting adult tohelp them take their place in a group of childrentheir own age. If teacher welcomes the child whoneeds physical contact to a place on her lap or aseat next to her, she is giving that child securityand eventually the child will be able to leave herprotection and become more independent.

Who Am I?Two little ears to hear with,Two eyes to see and see,I'm so very happy with all of me.

A Healthy Self -Image --The simple question,"Who am I?" has no simple answer. From theworld's point of view each one of us is insignifi-cantjust one of threeand-ahalf billion humanbeings. Yet, we must feel important to ourselvesif we are to live a happy life.

How we feel about ourselves affects howwe feel about others. We can accept others as theyare, respecting their good qualities and overlook.ing their shortcomings, if we respect ourselves.We must value our own accomplishments and beconvinced that we have something worth while tooffer to others. We must be careful not to Inflateour abilities, but must learn to appreciate themhonestly. We must have confidence that we cando what we claim we can do, and we must under.stand where our limits lie. With faith in our goodjudgment, we can reach our own realistic deci-sions about matters that influence our lives.

People who can honestly answer thequestion "Who am I?" have developed a healthyself-image that will help them through manydifficult times.

Those who do not truly know them-selves are likely to "bite off more than they canchew" and become discouraged. They may blame"the boss" or "bad luck" for their lack of suc-cess. Some turn to crime as a means of gettingback at a harsh world.

The person who has known nothingbut failure all his life has developed a negativeself-image. He is convinced there isn't anything

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he can dewell, ?o he- doesn't try to do anythingconstructive. In running away from his responsibilities, the chronic failure may turn to drugsor alcohol as a way out,

Experiences in early childhood hold thesecret to what kind of self-image a person willdevelop. Children who feel secure in their familiesand who receive approval for their achievementswill continue to view themselves in a favorablelight. Long before they can talk, they recognizetheir own names. They know where they standIn the family and will protest if they think theyare not getting their share of attention. Thesechildren come to a child care center with a greatdeal of self.confidence.

There are children in child care centers who are not so sure of themselves. Some.times a child in a very large family, where theparents are too ill or OW to give him theattention he needs, may not be clear about whohe is or what his role in the family is. Childrenbrought up in orphanages often suffer in thesame way, for they have always been just oneunimportant person in a crowd of others. Nobodyhad bothered to single them out as a specialindividual.

In the child care center many gamescan help make each child aware that he is distinctfrom every other child. Teacher wants to be surethat each child knows his own name and eventu-ally the names of the other children. Games like"Who is it?" or "Who is hiding?" encourage thechildren to call one another by name. Actionsongs with words like those quoted above helpa child to become aware of the parts of his bodyand of himself as an important person.

Each child should have his own cubbywhere he hangs his coat and keeps any otherpossessions. The child's picture and name oftenare attached to the cubby so that he knows it isreally his. Teacher makes a point to use thechild's name when she talks with him. Remarks,like "Harry is wearing bright green socks today,"or "Darlene is the first one to put her blocksaway," will give the children a feeling that theyare worthy of the group's attention.

Mirrors are important in the child carecenter so that children can look at themselvesoften and see that they are different from every.one else. Some teachers play games with mirrorsso that everyone has a chance to see himself.

Children love to find themselves and

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their friends in photographs. If colored slides aretaken during a field trip or party and shown aweek later, they not only strengthen the chIldren'Sself-images, but also encourage the children torecall a past experience. Children should rot berushee through thIS experience. Each pictureshould be shown long enough for every child onit to Identify himself and to talk about the cir-cumstances.

When Mrs. DeCruz showed her groupthe photos she took on a visit to the zoo, theresponse went like this:

"I see mel I see me! """Look! I'm giving the bear a peanut.""There's Valerie. Her got Ice cream

on her dress."With each photograph the children re-

lived their visit and at the same time developeda clearer idea of themselves in a social setting.

There are so many ways in a child carecenter to bolster a child's self.image that thereis not room to list them all here. Birthday parties,games and conversations about each child's fa-vorite color or favorite foods, listening to a child'sdescription of some event, seeking a child'sopinion of a story or the placement of a piece offurnitureall these are ways of helping a childthink of himself as a unique individual.

Competent Person"Look, Boo, look! She's put-ting my pictures on the wall. I made them andshe's putting them on the wall." Little Mariangrabbed her brother by both arms and jumped upand down with excitement. She couldn't believethat a picture she had drawn would be goodenough to hang in the director's office.

Marian was a newcomer to the childcare center where her brother, whom she calledBoo, attended. She couldn't settle down with hergroup at first and spent most of her time wandering around the center looking for Boo. The staffwas concerned about Marian because she had littleinterest in the things the other children were doingand seemed overly dependent on her brother.

One day her wanderings took her to thedirector's office. Mrs. Holmes talked with her a

few minutes, then seeing that Marian did not wantto return to her group, she gave her several sheetsof paper and some crayons and suggested thatshe draw some pictures. When she finished, Mrs.Holmes printed "Marian" in black letters at thetop of each picture and hung them on her wall.

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Dressing oneself develops a sense of independence.

13

A child who feels comfortable withehis group may carry a warm attitude toward new people In new situations.

Marian was so proud of her accomplish.ment that she pulled everyone to Mrs. Holmes'office to see her work. After that Marian becamemore confident with the other children. Instead ofbacking away from painting or play-dough, shewould jump at the opportunity to "make a presentfor Mrs. Holmes."

Marian's taste of success had improvedher self-image. She now had assurance that shecould do a valued job.

Good child care centers and schools aredecorated with samples of the children's work.This practice not only makes a room bright andgay, but gives the children a feeling of pride thattheir work is good enough for other people to lookat and admire.

Teacher must be careful to displayevery child's work at some time. Abilities vary

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greatly among children of the same age group,and she cannot hang only the best. It doesn'tmatter if Francesca's jackelantern has three eyesand no mouth. It is something she did by herself,and if she can feel proud when she sees it hangingon the wall, she might try harder next time to makeher work more realistic.

Looking After MyselfPart of growing up islearning to look after ourselves. The job of parentsand teachers is to prepare a child to get alongwithout them. Looking after oneself involves get.ting dressed alone. When a child can put on hisown shoes and socks, zip up his pants, or buttonhis coat, it gives him a greater sense of independence and, at the same time, relieves teacher ofmany time-consuming chores.

Sometimes adults are so anxious to see

children become independent that they forget thatImmature muscles cannot do certain tasks. Mostthreeyearolds may be able to put on their shoes,but not many threeyearold fingers are skillfulenough to tie the laces. Youngsters who can puton a coat without difficulty may need help gettinginto snow pants and boots.

There are many important Jobs youngchildren can do. Some teachers post work rosterseach week assigning tasks. Jimmy feeds the fish;Sally puts out the napkins for the snack; Orlandowaters the plants; and Jennifer sweeps up thecrumbs after lunch.

One teacher found many useful servicesthat three and fouryearolds could perform aroundthe center.' They included:

Washing dishes after they had beenusedCleaning out the aquariumLoading sand in a wheelbarrow andshoveling it under the swings after arainy dayCutting up fruits and vegetables forsnacksCarrying simple messages to anotherteacherSanding and waxing blocks and staplingdifferent grades of sandpaper to themto make music blocksPuttying up holes in the woodworkingtablesHammering nails back into the benchesso that clothes will not snagOiling squeaky tricyclesSome of the jobs require more adult

supervision than others, and some are more suitable far fouryearolds than younger children.Teacher should not assign tasks that take too long,as young children lose interest. Just becauseRichie tackles a pile of dirty dishes with muchvigor and splashing, he is not necessarily up towashing every dish. The fun soon gives away toboredom If he is expected to complete too largea job. Rather than assigning dish washing to justone chlvf, teacher can keep interest high by assigning four or five children to take turns andshare the chore.

4 Joanne Hendrick, "The Pleasures of Meaningful Workfor Young Children," Young Children, Vol. XXil, No. 6(Sept. 1967).

The purpose of child help is not torelieve adults of unpleasant chores but to givechildren the satisfying experience of doing a jobwell.

People who can look after themselvesalso know how to protect themselves, and teachera can contribute to a child's wellbeing by makinghim aware of dangers. "When you ride the trigcycle that fast over the bumpy grass, Jose, youare likely to turn over and hurt yourself." Teacheruses words that print out the danger withoutmaking Jose stop riding. It may take a tumble toConvince him that teacher is right, but the lessonhe learns about protecting himself may be wortha bruised elbow.

A child who is able to look after himselfalso knows the limits of his own energy. Mike andChristina were playing "doggie" with a group ofchildren. They romped around on all fours, barkingand growling at one another. Suddenly Mike drop.ped out and went to sit on the bench next toteacher. He was hot and sweaty. He knew he hadhad enough exertion and needed a rest.

Teacher noticed that Christina, too,was flushed and overexcited. Unlike Mike, shewas not mature enough to protect herself. Shekept on in the strenuous game until she appearedclose to tears. "Christina," said teacher, walkingover and touching her shoulder. "It's time for thistired puppy to come and sit with Mike and me.You can play again when you have cooled off."

An Important Member of an important Group"Do I belong to you?" Bela wanted to know, lookingup at her mother.

"In a way," smiled Mother. "We belongto each other because we are members of thesame family." Reassured, Bela ran off to play withher friends.

Bela was not asking to belong to hermother in the sense of being owned, like a petdog. She needed assurances that she was an important member of her family group and that shecould count on support from its members if lifewere to become threatening. Everyone, adults aswell as children, except for a handful of hermits,needs to feel he belongs In a group of people whounderstand and approve of him.

The family is just one such group. Mostpeople belong to several groups. There are thekids In school and the boys In the scout troop andlater, in life, the people at work. Our neighbors

15

make up a group that we belong to and the peo.pie who share our religious beliefs make upanother. We go through life moving from onegroup to another.

In addition to these smaller socialgroups, we share special traditions of our culture.It is Important for each child to believe that hisown traditions are valuable and beautiful, Inchild care centers where the children representseveral different cultures, there are numerousopportunities to enrich the lives of each child.With the help of parents and older brothers andsisters, a program of music and dancing of theethnic groups represented in the center might bepresented, Juan will puff up with pride when hisfather sings a song in. Spanish, and Yuki will Wit,important when her mother models a Japanesekimono. They will learn that other cultures havesomething to offer as they watch and listen to thesongs and dances.

A tasting party of ethnic foods might bea way of introducing young children to new eatingexperiences and at the same time helping them tounderstand that every culture has something valu.able to offer. It is also important that foods knownto the children be a part of the regular meals atthe center.

For a young child, the child care centeris often the first group outside the family that hehas contact with. It is important that he feels hebelongs, for his experiences in this group maycolor his attitudes toward people later in life.

A Happy Boy or GirlLavere was very proud ofhis father and his father's work as a fireman. Hebragged to everyone about what a brave man hisfather was and how his father took him for a rideon tile fire truck.

7' Several of the children did not havefathers living with them, so teacher invitedLavere's father to visit the child care center andtalk with the children about what a fireman does.He spent an hour with the children, letting eachone try on his fire hat. He invited the boys andgirls to visit the fire station.

After he left, several of the boys playedfireman. Lavere had a toy fireman's hat, and theothers created their own hats. George turned apot upside down on his head; Jay borrowed thedith pan; and Carlos dumped the crayons out ofa basket and uied-that. With their hats on, theybuilt fire trdqki with large blocks and rode to put

16-

out fires.When children are happy with the sex

they are born with, they grow into better adjustedman and women. If they admire adults of thesame sex, they are more likely to accept beinggirls or boys.

Sometimes little boys like to dress upIn mother's clothes or play with dolls, while manylittle girls are happy when they are hammeringnails into a board or loading and unloading adump truck with sah: dults may worry that theboy will grow up to be a "sissy" and the girl a"tomboy." Playing the roles of both mother andfather is natural for young children of both sexes.There is no need to worry and insist that boys playonly with cars and "boy things" and that girlsplay house all the time However, if children continue to dress and act like members of the opposits sex, they face the possibility of living a lifethat is out of step with the mainstream of societyas we know it todal.

By nature, women play the dominantrole In a young child's life. It is usuallymother who is there while father is off at work.Most teachers of young childrenin child carecenters, kindergartens, and elementary schoolsare women. For this reason, it is desirable, whenever possible, to bring men into the classroom.It is difficult to find fulltime male teachers. There-fore, some centers hire male college students asparttime aides. Others encourage visits frompolicemen, doctors, dentists, and other men thatthe children might have some contact with.Fathers, as well as mothers, should be urged tovisit their child's group and spend some timeplaying and talking with the children.

Men's clothing should be a part of thedressup collection in every child care center.Tools representing the occupations of the fathersof the children allow all the children to play atdoing what is still frequently referred to asmen's works Tommy can be a ,carpenter with ahammer; Lois can be a painter with a wide brushand a can of water; Luis can be a bricklayerwith a trowel and some real bricks. Workman'scoveralls and a selection of working hatsa gas

5 Ruth E. Hartley and Robert W. Ooldenson, The Com-Otte Boa of Children't Play (NeW`Yeik: Thernit Y.Crowell' Co., 1963).

%

Boys and play the roles of their mothers or fathers.

station attendant's cap, a construction worker'shard hat, a fireman's hatwill help the childrenact out the role of their fathers.

Some items that father uses around thehouse could be Included in the housekeepingcorner. For instance, there could be a shavingset, a shoe shining kit, a lunch box, a lawn mower,and a snow shovel.

Standing Up for MyselfMost parents feel strong.ly that children should learn to defend themselvesat an early age. When Johnny comes crying toMother because Tony punched him, mother islikely to tell him sternly, "Don't expect me to fightyour battles. Stand up for yourself." Johnnyprobably is bewildered because mother also hasW10 him it is -iiroht10- hit -atilei children: NewWhen he has-beep' hit, she expects him- to hilt6ick.

Johnny's, mother knows it is importantfOr' huff to be able to deitiahlm self,Wit'etifisiiiportshrkiltrii to ealrilint te-etlaCk others.

However, she can help Johnny understand that heoften can protect himself without hitting. He canpush Tony away and play with someone else, orhe can warn Tony, "I'll have to hit you if you dothat again." Many children tussle and roll on theground together like puppies in a kind of play thatlooks more like fighting. Mother can explain thatmaybe punching was Tony's way of asking Johnnyto wrestle with him. If Johnny doesn't enjoy thatkind of play, he can make his feelings clear toTony by saying, "i don't want to play like that.Let's run to the fence instead,"

There are many ways a child can standup for himself without violence. When he haslearned to do so, he has selfconfidencet He canbe himself without fear that others will pick onhim or make -Um of his'ideas.

Children'who heVe- such selfaSsurancedo not seem 0144 annoyed mightupset-i lesi cOrifid4rd child, They are We're.faxed in new situations and generIlly cooperativeMembersate graft).

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trt Ming hoW to wait litatier-wheii they knout their `tiatienSe will be rewarded by(a tie mTerror (by ariy.

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Everything that builds a child's value ofhis own worth gives him ammunition for defendinghimself. While mother's immediate reaction maybe to tell Johnny to light your own bathes," herappreciation of his accomplishments day afterday Is what gives him the stuff to do it She letshim know that she thinks he is a capable boy whocan look after himself,

Teachers can give the same kind ofsupport by praising each child's efforts and noticing Improvements In skills, Elowever, they mustbe ready to offer the protection of an adult whenit is truly needed. If Johnny is attacked regularlyby the class bully, teacher may have to keep thetwo children separate.

getting alongwith others

Sharing"Mine" is one of the first words childrenlearn to say. Possession is so very important tothat'll that they try to possess everything in sight,whether it actually belongs to them or not. Helpingchildren learn to share is an important responslbility of a child care teacher.

All the children were sitting at tablestearing out bits of paper to paste onto a collage.Norman tore his out quickly and soon had asizable pile of paper shapes in front of him, Davidworked slowly and when the pasting began, hequickly used up his small supply of paper bits.However, when he began to draw from Norman'slarge pile-, Norman angrily picked up all the piecesand threw them in the wastebasket. He wouldrather give tip pasting any hlinself thin share with

Difficulty inSharing is normal afthe ageof, two and three years, heal five yeah It Is-esign of immaturity inekoOneo. Children461'604" share ere 'freqtrantlyithe ones whoinsist every

game they play.Sharing is particularly difficult for chil

dren who have not had very many possessions athome. When they see the large variety of play.things at a child care center they want to keepthem all for themselves whether they are usingthem or not. Teacher must explain in a warmmanner that the toys belong to all the children,and every one must have an opportunity to playwith them.

Often a time table for taking turns willwork with three and four.year.olds, If both Philipand Lynn want the wheelbarrow, Lynn might agreeto push the doll carriage for five minutes whilePhilip plays with the wheelbarrow. Then on signalfrom teacher, they will trade.

This arrangement, however, does notwork well with twoyearolds who are too young tounderstand the meaning of taking turns or of timewords like "five minutes" or "in a little while."For younger children the wiser course is to haveseveral of the same toys available so that toomuch sharing is not required.

When the children learn that teachersword can be trusted and that they will get a turnwith their favorite toy, they will be inore willingto share,

Whiting --- Learning to wait is as difficult for ayoung child as learning to share. The two are verymuch alike because the child who must give up apleasing toy to another child is, in fact, waiting forhis chance to play with the toy again.

As unpleasant as waiting is for adultsas well as children, it is something we must acceptif we are going to get along with other people.All of us have been annoyed at the impatient per.son who elbows his way to the head of the linewhile we are waiting to buy a movie ticket orboard a bus,

Waiting is easier if we know we will geta reward in the end, . if we are sure there willstill be a seat in the theater for us and if we knowthat the bus won't go off and leave us behind. Forchildren, too, waiting is easier if they are certainof a reward.

When baby cries for a bottle of milk,he-is hungry and,_ Irn-patlerit, doeshil like wait.Ing, and he'lele' everyone know it by, his shrill

However; If feedirig-aftei feeding, day -afterday,' gratifying ioaaitieleirOflotwaiting payS off. As he irdvis *ter- hg is wfilitig

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to hold his cries until his food appears, for heknows it will come soon.

What happens to the baby who does notreceive such constant care? What if no one paysattention to his hunger cries and the feeding hourpasses without any reward? If this happens veryoften, the child will not be willing to wait for anything, for he has nu assurance that waiting willbring a reward.

In a child care center, teacher can addto a child's sense of pride with remarks like,"Waiting is such a hard thing to do, it showswhat a big boy you are, John, to be willing towait until Jeff is off the swing." .

tt the same time, teacher must realizethat overly long waits are too much for youngchildren to cope with She must arrange herschedule to keep waiting to a minimum. She cando this by sending the children by twos or threesto the bathroom before lunch instead of expecting them to stand patiently in line while waitingto use the toilets and washstands. Singing orlistening to records helps pass the time whilelunch is being served.

MannersLuz and Debby were sitting side byaide pasting different colored leaves onto outlines of trees drawn on large sheets of paper.Debby had the bottle of glue and was happilycovering her entire tree with daubs. Luz neededthe glue.

"Gimme dat paste," Luz demanded."Her didn't say please," Debby pro.

tested."Please," muttered Luz begrudgingly.Debby gave up the paste, then imme

diately began to cry in a forlorn way as if shejust realized that by responding to the magicword "please" she had lost a treasured posses.sion.

Such exchanges between threeyearolds indicate that while they have been taught byconscientious mothers and teachers to use theproper words, they still do not comprehend thedeeper meaning of good manners. Words like"thank you," "please," and "you're welcome"are mere mechanical responses until they areunderstood as part of a sincere consideration forothers.

In some child care centers, teacherswill take the snack awa9"froM a child Who refusesto say "thank yoU," The fatt 'that- eating in- front

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of someone who has nothing to eat also is poormanners does not seem to occur to the teachers.One of the surest ways to teach children goodmanners is to set the example of goodmanners.If adults always used appropriate words in talk.ing with children, most children soon would follow this style of speaking, There would be noneed for harsh reminders to say "please" or"thank you."

Friendship"I won't be your friend," Priscillashouted, kicking at teacher when she told her itwas time to stop cutting out pictures and washher hands for lunch. Young children readily talkabout friends and friendship even though theyare just beginning to experience friendship.

When Patty, Douglas, and Allen dressedup in play clothes and squeezed into the cubbyhole under the climbing platform there was muchtalk about friendship, "Will you be my friend?"Patty asked Douglas. "No," he replied. Pottinghis face up to Douglas', Allen asked the samequestion, "Will you be my friend?" "Yes," saidDouglas, "I'll be your friend." Then as Allenturned away, Douglas picked up a toy truck andhit his new "friend" over the head with it. It wasa gentle, "friendly" blow, and Allen was wearinga plastic cowboy hat at the time whith protectedhis head. He probably understood that this wasDouglas' way of being a friend.

Friendship among young children is afleeting affair. Children who are friends one daymay ignore or fight with one another the nextday. This is all part of growing up socially andlearning little by little what a mature friendshipis. The child who makes no effort at being friendswith anyone needs help in learning that doingthings with other people often is more fun thanbeing alone.

Some children will approach anotherchild with words like, "You're going to be myfriend," or "Teresa, do you like me?" Once afriendship has been made, a child will take pridein introducing the other child as "This is myfriend, Teresa. She is only three years old."

Friendship can help a child developgood social behavior. Lorin and Ricky could notget along with one another. Every day they foughtabout something. Then Lorin met Timmy endfoubd out how much fun it'was Ong things withhit now friend; Hekept clear or Ricky, andavoided fights with others.

Friendship Is natural; It begins in childhood and grows more lasting as the child gets older.

Competition="I can run faster than you." "Myhouse Is bigger than yours." "My painting isbetter than yours."

Such remarks are often heard in achild care center. Every child is looking for approval, and one way to achieve it is to run downsomeone else's accomplishments. if Lamont runsfaster than Walter, then, in Lamont's way ofthinking, he is a better person.

We live in a world which depends onboth cooperation and competition. Although someAmerican Indian and other societies are far lessCompetitive, American city children become_Competitiye by the age of four. Organized games withruies,:1110 basketball,- give older- children an op.pottunity to- compete! with one another in anordeFly''rkanh'er.-With!ohildren too 9Oung to'-play

game accordift- to fikad.rulag-;='c'erhpetition ea's-Hy leaclitiqghting.

In a child care center one of the mostcommon causes of a fight is unsupervised cormpetition. David declares himself the leader in agame of followthe leader, but Ruthie, Dawn, andEnrico want to be leaders too, Older children havetheir own formulas for choosing the leader. Theyrecite rhymes like: "Engine, engine number nine"or "One potato, two potato, three potato, tour."But younger childrdn do not know these methods,nor are they old enough to understand that ifDawn is "It" this-time, most certainly the rulesof chance will make someone else "It" next time.

When' competitiOn forleaderShjp threatens to turn into a, freefor-all argument or fight,teacher must step in tO" help the Ohildren- taketurns In the" laader's position or to suggest *anothet_game'tharWould assign IMOOrtahr-Tafe6 toeveryoitelike-playihg iO0 with animals,- keep'ert,and -Viiitori;-Stipervised races also 'provide an

21

tc

r

-111,W4.

Some children enjoy a friendly wrestling match; othersreject such energetic play. The child who doesn't enjoyplay, such as wrestling, has to loam ways to fend offaggressive approaches.

outlet for competition.A healthy kind of competition that does

not lead to fist fights is competing against oneself.When a child tries constantly to improve his ownachievements, he continues to be challenged, butdoes not feel defeated if he cannot surpass someone else.

The child care teacher can praise achild's accomplishments without reference to anyother child's work. "That is really a strong garage you made today, Kathryn. it won't fall downlike the one you made yesterday." "You were ableto put that puzzle together all by yourself today,weren't you, Patrick?" By such remarks teachergives the child a feeling of pride in his ownabilities.

Another form of competition is brag-ging about new clothes. This can be painful tochildren from families who cannot afford to buythins nev(clathes: instead of tocuiing attentionon the'n-ew garmeni,-teaCher would be kinder torespOnd With-a gene ?aI kind of answer like, "Weat[ feel excitect'Whiii4eget something or

get isn't

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The amount of competition within agroup of children will depend on the range ofages. Children close in age are more likely tocompete because their interests are similar.Lamont would not brag about running faster thanWalter if Walter were much younger than Lamont.

Whenever teacher can settle disputesand channel chaotic competition into constructivebehavior, the children learn they can look togrownups for help when things get out of hand.

Showing ConcernHealthy children naturally aresympathetic and care about one another. Exampies of this can be secn every day in a child carecenter.

"I want my blanket. I want my blanket,"Tania whimpered, pointing to Gregory, who waswaving a red scarf in the air and prancing aroundin a teasing kind of dance. Tanta always took thescarf to bed with her and called it a blanket.

Teacher tried to be helpful. "Go tellGregory it is yours and ask him to give it to you,"But Tania pulled farther away from the prancingGregory and sniffled. Just then Russell, who wasa head taller than Tonle and several poundsheavier than Gregory, appeared. "Do you wantthat?" he demanded of Tania. She nodded. Russell walked boldly up to Gregory and In a matter.offact voice said, "That's Tania's. i'll give it toher." He took the scarf from Gregory's hand andgallantly returned it to its tiny owner, Apparentlyimpressed by Russell's size, Gregory went offwithout complaint.

It Is a common sight in the play yardto see one child help another child up after hehas fallen off a tricycle or to take the hand of asmaller child while climbing the ladder to theslide. Sometimes children can be quite adult inshowing concern for others. While pouring juice,Joanle spilled some on the table and onto herslacks, Fear showed in her face at the sight ofthe spot on her clothes. Mother apparenttY hadtold her to stay clean, and she was so upset atdirtying her slacks that she could not move.Orlando quickly ran to the kitchen, got a sponge,mopped up the table, and returned the sponge tothe kitchen. He had voluntarily done Joanle's lobas soon as tie realized She-wat unable to carry Itout herself.

It Is often satisfying for an oldie'Crilldto help a yOUnger some schodiS specialprograms allow stow readerS in ttie tippet' 'grades

to listen to children in the lower grades read andto help them with difficult words. These programshave resulted in double benefits. Both the olderand the younger child improve their reading skillsat the same time. If a child care center can arrange its schedule so that children of all ages aretogether at some period during the day, some ofthe older children naturally will find ways of helping the smaller children.

Helping to care for pets either at homeor at the center adds to a child's understandingof looking after a weaker creature. This understanding can carry over to a concern for otherpeople.

"I" becomes 'we"at thechild care center

Exchanging IdeasA baby's awareness of otherpeople is limited at first to his concern aboutwhat people are doing for him. He gradually getsinterested in what they are doing and still laterin what they are thinking. This more mature kindof awareness develops during the second or thirdyear. Often it appears at a time when a group ofchildren are sitting around a table working withclay or play.dough, A child experiences good feelings from twisting and pounding a wad of clayand making it do what he wants it to do. Hisgood feelings seem to help him to be sociable sothat he naturally talks with his companions andlooks to see what they are doing.

"I'm making a snake," announcesJeremy to whoever is interested.

"Mine's a turtle," says Anita,"Where it's feet? Ain't no turtle with-

Out feet," Sandy criticizes. Then in answer toJeremy, "I'm making two snakes, no, ten-srlakas."

makiiig hutidred snakes,retorts Jeremy,- trying- to 'gb one better.

io work MM ownspeed on-hi t own ProjacC:Thire Is hbtorripelitfon

except some verbal exchanges like those above.Teacher comments on the merits of each piece. Agroup spirit begins to grow as the children workand chat together. Sometimes a child who hasbeen slow in joining group activities will take a

more active part after a few satisfying sessionslike thls.

A sand box or water table can have asimilar effect in providing children with a pleas.ing sensory experience in a warm social setting.

It's Fun to CooperateRandy decided he was go-ing to build a gas station ail by himself. He tuggeda large wooden packing case to the place he hadchosen for his station, It was hard work. Then hetried to put another box on top of the case. Itwas too heavy for him to lift that high. He wasgetting hot and discouraged when William rodeup on his tricycle.

"What are you doing?" William asked."I'm building a gas station all by my.

self," Randy replied. Then a bright idea came toRandy. "If you help me build the gas station, I'llput gas in your car."

William agreed and together the boys

114Pleleotii,tliari;1; Petial those ungei thanthim4atvei;li iiirOrtin 10611 Mlo

23

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24

easily lifted the box to the top of the packing case."How are we going to climb up there?"

William wanted to know.Randy spied a ladder. It was too heavy

for him, but now he had a partner, so there wasno problem moving the ladder into place.

Mrs. Ward, their teacher, let them usethe bucket frorn the kitchen for a gas pump.Alice, who had been watching their work and look-ing for an opportunity to join them, found a ropeand suggested that it could be the hose for thegas pump. Meanwhile Mrs. Ward asked Sue andMaria to help her pick up pebbles to use formoney. Tony ran Inside and brought out the toycash register, and the gas station was open forbusiness.

Soon every child on a tricycle was linedup waiting for gas. Randy put in the gas; Williampretended the handlebars were windshields andscrubbed them vigorously with a cloth; Alice stoodon the roof and waved a sign; and Tony workedwith the cash register. With the cooperation ofothers, Randy was able to see his idea turn intoa successful product. If he had persisted alonewith his building, he would have become frustrated and defeated.

By providing materials that are toolarge and heavy for one child to handle, the childcare center encourages such cooperation. Mrs.Ward's interest stimulated the imagination ofother children and brought more youngsters intothe game.

In some places "junk playgrounds"have become popular. These are small play areasequipped with discarded items.° The junk caninclude hoops, wheels, tires, boards, fence pick-ets, stones, bits of furniture, or almost anythingthat someone wants to donate. When a child seessuch fascinating raw materials, his imaginationsoars. While teacher may enter the picture as ahelper after the project is underway, it is best forher not to offer suggestions of what to build orhow to design it.

A large playhouse that will hold several children promotes cooperative play. One child

0 °Jeannette 4alarnbot Stone and Nancy Rudolph, Playand PlaygrOuixii_Methington: National Association forthe Education of Yetirt Children,- 1970).

care center has a two-story house with outsidestairs and an open deck for the second floor.The children have so much fun talking to oneanother from the two levels that the house hascontributed as much to language development asit has to social development.

Other cooperative activities in a childcare center might involve working together todecorate the room for "Parents' Night" or makinga big Christmas card for the center's director. Thechildren might work together to create a bookabout themselves. Each child draws a picture thatbecomes a page of the book, He is free to drawwhat he chooses, yet his independent work is partof cooperative effort.

Let's PretendThese are the magic words ofchildhood. They can turn ordinary boys and girlsinto airplane pilots, truck drivers, fairies, puppydogs, or even mommies and daddies. While chiledren are pretending to be somebody else, theytry out different poses, different approaches toothers, and different responses to many familiarsocial situations. They can feel free to behave inways that would not be acceptable if they werethemselves, but since they are somebody else,they can give free rein to many kinds of socialbehavior.

"You get in here dog, y'hear. I'mgonna waildp your tall if you don't move." Laurieswatted Joey with a broom and shooed him intothe housekeeping corner. The children were play-ing house, and Joey volunteered to be their petdog. He barked every time Laurie waved thebroom at him.

"It's time to get ready for churchnow," ordered Laurie to all her "children." Theydressed up in high heels, hats, and purses. Eventhe boys accepted ladies' hats when they ran outof men's clothes. Someone tied a cloth overJoey's head for a ribbon, and they marched, armin arm, to the other side of the room.

Teacher suggested that as they were inchurch, it might be a good idea to sing somesongs. She lead them in a familiar song. Sooneven the children who had not been members ofthe make believe family had joined In-the singing.

When a, group of children play eta apretend satiation, they find that most -of tlieltihave' lived through shriller titUations. Gettingdressed for church and tirikirie hymns apparentlywas a fa*lai-ixpetiente- to many of

25

J1111i

Children cooperate wittione another when materials aretoo large to handle alone.

drat). As they realize how much alike their livesare, they begin to develop stronger group feelings,

"Let's pretend" games vary from placeto place and with different ethnic groups. Childrennear Cape Kennedy, Florida are more likely to playastronauts and rockets than are children inAlaska, whose experiences are different. City chi!dren who live near a freight yard probably playtrain a good deal more than rural children whomay be more familiar with rounding up cattle formarket than with railroads.

While most pretend games spring spon-taneously from children's imaginations, teachercan encourage this kind of play by suggesting thatthe children act out a favorite story. Playing theroles of the three little pigs, for instance, cangive the children the satisfaction of knowing thatlittle creatures, whether little pigs or little chil-dren, can outwit a big creature, who may be thebig bad wolf in the story or a demanding parentin a child's imagination.

Having Fun TogetherTwo little hands go clap, clap, clap,Two little feet ge tap, tap, tap.

The children clapped hands and tapped feet intime to the musicall except Maybelle, whostood on the sidelines and looked bewildered.When they began to sing "Ride a Cock Horse"

26

and prance around the room like horses, Maybellepulled back into a corner and stared at them withfrightened eyes.

Maybelle was new at the center anddidn't yet feel at ease with the other children.When the song was over, Miss Meredith, theteacher, decided it was time Maybelle joined thegroup. She took the little girl by the hand, ar-ranged the other children in pairs, and led aparade around the room while everyone sang"Yankee Doodle." Maybelle marched but wouldn'tsing.

Then Miss Meredith got out the rhythminstruments and gave each child a pair of sticks,a triangle, bells, or a tambourine. She handedMaybelle some bells. The children sang "YankeeDoodle" again, and kept time with their instru-ments. Maybelle, standing very close to teacher,timidly shook her bells. When she heard thetinkling sound, she smiled. She shook them again.Then again. The group had finally begun to com-municate with Maybelle through music.

The next day teacher played severalring games with the children. Maybelle held firmlyonto teacher's hand, but she allowed another childto take her other hand. Again she seemed to re-lax and enjoy the activity. On the third day shesmiled broadly when the "wife" chose her to bethe "child" in a game of "Farmer in the Dell,"and she giggled when she chose Miss Meredithto be the "dog."

Miss Meredith wisely planned groupgames or singing every day. One day they wouldplay "Ring Around Rosie," on another day theywould dance and sing "Shoo Fly," or just sit onthe floor in a tight circle and sing songs. Maybellebegan to appear more comfortable in the group.Soon Maybelle was taking an active role manyactivities and did not depend so heavily on su-pervised group play, although she was always thefirst to respond to the invitation to "join handsfor a game."

Offering someone your hand Is a warmgesture of welcome. When a teacher takes a smallchild by On hand and leads him into a groupactivity, she is saying, "We are very happy youare with us. We want to have fun together."

Eating TogetherEating Is a valuable social ex-perience when the food is tasty and the companyIs pleasant. A good hostess usually serves herguests something to eat or drink as' a way of

making them feel welcome, In a child care center, lunchtime can be one of the most satisfyingsocial experiences of the day.

A happy lunchtime scene is a combination of many factors. The children must becomfortably seated on childsized chairs at tables

of a similar size. They must not be expected towait too long for their food. Lunch, itself, shouldconsist of familiar foods without too many newdishes at one meal. Seating shoulJ be arrangedso that children who do not get along together donot sit next to one another.

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Teacher, sitting at one of the smalltables and eating the same food, can direct conversation onto interesting and informative sub.jests. "There are tomatoes in this salad. Whatcolor is a tomato, Tom?" Or she can say: "Doyou remember what anima( gives milk? That'sright, Marty, a cow. We saw the farmer milk acow when we visited the farm last week, didn'twe?" Or she can lead the conversation to trans.portation: "This is pineapple for dessert. Pineapple grows far, far away in the state of Hawaii.This pineapple sailed on a big ship to get here tous."

As teacher directs her remarks andquestions to different children, she encouragesthem to talk among themselves. Her manner mustbe relaxed, and she must allow plenty of time sothe child-en do not feel they must gulp down theirfood. Rushing through a meal destroys social ex.changes as well as digestion. Teacher also mustremain calm when somebody spills something, asIs bound to happen in a group of young children.If everyone knows the rules about cleaning up andif a damp sponge is available, accidents shouldnot disrupt the meal,

The experience of sitting down with a

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congenial group once a day for an enjoyable meal,can help a child realize that being with others canbe satisfying.

Through many different social expert'ences in a child care center, the young childgradually becomes aware that there are manypeople in the world, and that each one hay hisown desires and his own way of looking at things.He learns that he is not the center of the universe,but only one individual who must get along withother individuals if he is going to lead a happylife.

When he feels that he belongs, he refersto his group in possessive terms like "my class"or "our hamster." He begins to think more interms of what "we" do or how "we" feel. He feelssure of his place In the group, and he can behimself without fear of being rejected.

A child who enjoys such confidence isfree to explore his own interests. He is not afraidof failure, for he knows his group will continue tosupport him. He has made a great deal of prog.ress from the baby who was only aware of himself.

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