diversity, oppression & social justice€¦ · web viewthe cultural genogram is a tool that was...

University of calgary

Diversity, Oppression & Social Justice

Cultural Genogram

Sadia Khan Durrani: 100550562/6/2012

Instructor: Jessica Shaw

Course Number: SOWK 697 S01

JESSICA SHAW: SOWK 697 W12 SADIA KHAN DURRANI : 10055056

DIVERSITY, OPPRESSION & SOCIALJUSTICE

ContentsThe Cultural Genogram................................................................................................................................................... 3

My Cultural Genogram.....................................................................................................................................................3

Type of Family.............................................................................................................................................................4

Ethnicity....................................................................................................................................................................... 4

Eid Festival.................................................................................................................................................................. 5

Meal and Entertainment..............................................................................................................................................5

Weddings.................................................................................................................................................................... 6

My Grandfather (Father’s Dad)........................................................................................................................................6

Bio-data of Muhammad Nisar Khan............................................................................................................................6

His Support for Education...........................................................................................................................................7

My Father and His Siblings..............................................................................................................................................7

Mum’s Family................................................................................................................................................................... 8

My Father......................................................................................................................................................................... 8

Islamic Beliefs and Culture............................................................................................................................................10

Early Marriage................................................................................................................................................................10

Male Dominated from Birth............................................................................................................................................11

Honour and Shame........................................................................................................................................................ 11

My Canadian Experience...............................................................................................................................................12

My Personal Values.......................................................................................................................................................12

Confidentiality............................................................................................................................................................12

Compassion..............................................................................................................................................................13

Respect..................................................................................................................................................................... 13

Conclusion..................................................................................................................................................................... 13

Reference...................................................................................................................................................................... 17

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The Cultural Genogram

The cultural genogram is a tool that was developed by Hardy and Laszloffy (1995) to increase

therapists’ cultural awareness and sensitivity through the use of the family genogram or family

tree. It is a tool that can be used by any person to build cultural awareness, particularly self-

awareness of the effects of one’s own culture on such factors as our perceptions, assumptions,

and feelings of belonging and exclusion.

My Cultural Genogram

My cultural genogram goes way back when my forefather’s immigrated to Swat which is big

village in Pakistan from Afghanistan. My family belongs to Yousuf Zai tribe, which is one of the

largest Pashtun tribe. They were exiled from their homeland and therefore this tribe attack

Swati and were successful in conquering it. They became the landlords and respectable people

in rural area of Swat (Pakistan). In our language they were called “Khans,” which means master,

or landlords. That is also one of the reason our last name is Khan especially if the person is a

male.

I married into Durrani tribe which is also one of the largest and strongest Pashtun tribes. They

were once rulers and belonged to the royal family of Afghanistan but due to some their leader

killing his cousin the brother of the king had to immigrate to United India, according to my

husband who is interested in the history of his family.

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Type of Family

Both my and my husband’s family have so many people as our relatives that it is hard to tell

who is related by blood and who is not. The thing about Pashtun is that anyone belonging to

one tribe is like a family member, even if he/she is not related by blood. My family during my

grandfather generation was an extended family where all of them used to live in a big house.

My grandfather, after getting married build himself and his family a separate house near the

family house. The new house was separated by a wall from the family house. Our family

became a nuclear family. Right now during special occasion all our family members, including

our aunts, uncles, and cousins get together and live in the same house build by my granddad, as

an extended family. We all have our separate houses where we live as a nuclear family.

Same was the case with my husband family. They had an extended family but right now they

live as a nuclear family and get together for special occasion. When I got married I came to

Canada to live with my husband. At this moment we are a couple planning to start our own

family.

Ethnicity

Ethnicity, skin colour and hair play an important role in my cultural genogram. Most of Pashtun

people are fair in colour compared to Punjabi people. I have seen people in my family having

blue or green eyes, white skin and blond hair just like English people. Our people are usually

tall. I am 5 feet and 6 inch; my sister is 5 feet and 8 inch. Average girl’s height is 5 feet 4 inch in

our family. Our ethnicity and customs are something that we look forward to. Every special

occasion we come together as a family and celebrate with fun and laughter. During tragedy, we

come together and mourn the loss.

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Eid Festival

We celebrate two Eid’s, small and big Eid. Every small Eid, little children and poor get money.

We put on nice clothes and put Mehndi (usually every Eid or during wedding we put it in our

hands, see the picture).

On the big Eid we do the same but it is for sacrifice. That day we sacrifice Cow, goat, bull,

anything and distribute the meat among relatives and poor people. We believe in closeness and

happiness.

Meal and Entertainment

During meal time when we all come together as a big family, male and elders get to eat first

while kids and female eat after. But as a nuclear family we all used to eat at the same time. That

was the time when we used to discuss about our school, or joke around and talk. In our village

in winter, we women and kids used to sit around a heater, eat peanuts and tell stories or jokes.

During summer we used to sit outside in the garden and look at the stars and do what we used

to do during winter. My eldest uncle built a swimming pool in our big village house, where we

all kids used to swim during our summer holidays.

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Mehndi



Weddings

During weddings there were fireworks, songs, dances, jokes till midnight. I thought marriage

was like this however when I got married and came to my new home, they took me into my

room and few people came to see me. There were not that many people that I was used to. No

fireworks, no dances and songs. Once the bride came home, that’s it. The new home really

burst my bubbles. For me living in one way was quite a big shift living another way. One week

after the marriage I came to Canada which was a totally different experience for me.

My Grandfather (Father’s Dad)

My grandfather was the main person who had brought many changes to our family which lead

to more freedom for women members of our family. He was influences after my eldest aunt

was born. According to my father, he wanted his daughters to have a better life. His wish for his

children was to get better education and become good people.

Bio-data of Muhammad Nisar Khan

My grandfather, that is my father’s father, name was Muhammad Nisar khan. He was born in

Swat, which is a village in Pakistan, and was the eldest son of his parents. His father was a

landlord and head of his tribe. My grandfather got his early education from Swat state and his

secondary education from adjacent area (Thana) and then he joined Swat state army. He went

to Cambalpur in Punjab (Pakistan) for bachelor degree after leaving his army service in Swat

state. He was the first person to join Pakistan Air Force from Swat state. Due to his hard work

and zeal he was promoted to rank of squadron leader and was sent to Saudi Arabia on

deputation. My grandfather died due to heart attack at the age of 50 in Saudi Arabia on 1st

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January 1973 while on deputation to that country as an air force officer. Therefore I did not

have the opportunity to meet him or to get to know him. At the time of his death my father was

15 years old. His death was a huge blow to everyone in our family. Rich and poor all mourned

his death. He left his entire asset to his children as was the custom of our family.

His Support for Education

According to my dad, his father belonged to a very rich family and his assets were mainly lands

and orchards. He was a strong supporter of education not only for his family members but all

the young people of the village. All his kids especially his sons went to schools, colleges and

universities. He believed that education could change the lifestyle of people. According to my

dad he was involved in their education and would get them tuitions and take regular test to see

their progress. He was the first member of his family that promoted female education by

sending his daughters to English medium schools which was regarded as sin by our tribe and

people. But he fought with his family and won. All my aunties have studies till grade 12. He was

against the bad behaviour of rich people with the poor in his area. He is still remembered and

highly respected because of his passion of educating the people of his area and changing their

life.

My Father and His Siblings

The environment my father and his siblings grew was different from other pukhtoon families in

Swat state because my grandfather was serving Pakistan Air Force mostly in urban areas

therefore they had to shift from one city to another depending upon the postings of my

grandfather. My father has 4 sisters and 5 brothers.

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My father and his siblings got their primary and secondary education from English convent

schools. His sisters got education up to the higher secondary level but did not go to universities

because of early marriages. As my grandfather was strong supporter of western education so

tutors used to come during evening for extra classes.

My father and his two brothers became doctors, 2 of his brothers became engineers and 1

became landlord. My father strongly beliefs on equal education of male and female at the same

time he is orthodox in his Islamic beliefs.

Mum’s Family

Both my parents are cousins and belong to the same tribe. My mother’s mum was the youngest

sister of my dad’s father. My mother was the youngest of eight children. She was pampered and

loved by her sisters and brothers. I don’t know much about my mother’s parents but was told

that my grandpa was a very strong person in his community. Everyone was scared of him. He

was a good hunter. He was handsome and he had blue eye colour. My grandma was beautiful.

She died when my mum was 23. My mum studied till 5th grade due to influence of her uncle

that is my grandfather and later learned English in England when our family moved there for a

year.

My Father

He loves us equally and wants us to have a better life. For our better future he work 7 days a

week so that our basic necessity were met and we would have a better life. He is lenient in

some aspect but strict in other aspect. My life while growing up was sheltered. I was

chauffeured in cars and have never experience going to school in bus or taxi. I was not allowed

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to stay out of the house for night alone. I grew up as someone that depended on others. I did

not speak in public and tried to stay in my room most of the time. The things that my father was

strict on were parda (however not all covered that you see some women), though he is not too

strict on it however he wants us to cover our body if not face, having no boyfriends, not staying

out of the house alone at night, studying. The rest, he was the nicest dad, friendly, have a great

sense of humour, taking us out to restaurant, and every day bringing something for us to eat.

During exams he would get us lots of chocolates, snacks, drinks, cakes so that we will not feel

exam time hard. No matter how much marks we took on exam he would be happy and

encourage us to do better. Whenever there was a sibling dispute he would tell us to make up

and tell the boys to be nice to us. I felt secure and protected as I was growing up. Whatever my

father was strict on was something I myself did not like. I used to wear niqab (face covering) on

my free will when I went out because if you go out without covering your face, you will feel

disgusted by the way people look at you.

About boyfriend, I personally don’t believe in love before marriage. In other words I was

cautious of falling in love and having boyfriends. During the time that I was in school and collage

there were no one to influence me to get a boyfriend. My friends were from respectable

families. Having boyfriend was not a fashion but a Taboo word. Today I am proudly confessing

that I am in love with my husband and he is my first partner.

I was happy in my own house doing things that I liked without pretending to be different so I

was more than happy to not spend the night out alone. I was a hard worker and liked reading

books and studying so there was never a conflict between me and my parents. Both of my

parents loved me and let me do what I wanted most of the time.

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Islamic Beliefs and Culture

My elders gave special consideration to Islamic beliefs in their culture. Our society was male

dominant and female were strictly parda observing (cover themselves). All the Females were

given Islamic Education. But only few females like my aunts had the opportunity to study

English. Cases were solved in the village by Jarga system (Court type where people brought

cases to the head) by the head of the village. My great grandfather was the head of the village

and people used to bring their cases and issues to him to solve.

In our culture all the males would get the opportunity to sit, talk and enjoy during late evenings

at a certain specified place called daira (I don’t know what to call it in English but it’s a room

built outside the home where men sit, talk eat and get together, here they also entertain male

guest) but females were deprived of it, however they would get together and enjoy in a

separate place that I mention before. In old times they would get together at dining table and

during our time they would get together either in the garden or in the living room.

Early Marriage

In our cultures early marriages was a custom. Usually when girls used to get their period cycle it

was considered that they can be married. Boys were usually 14 to 17 years. But with new

generation it is no more the case. I married when I was 23 years old. One of my cousins married

at the age of 26 years. As time pass the trend of marrying young also changed a little bit. Now

people prefer education and employment than marrying early.

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Male Dominated from Birth

It is true that our culture is a men dominant society so the difference between male and female

starts from the very start of the birth of the baby. With the birth of male the parents and family

celebrate and rejoice while the female birth is just any other day. Sometimes it is the day which

is considered the worst day for some family. Boys are given freedom and independence while

girls are restricted in many aspects of life.

I was told that when my elder brother was born there was so much celebration but when I was

born, the first announcement that the nurse made, “congratulations you have a girl” was

something that was hard to digest. However they were soon worrying for my life because I

became ill. After I was better they were glad and thank God for my life.

In our culture usually the males are given better food and clothing’s than females. But in our

family we were treated equally however as we started to grow we started doing some work

around the house. My father used to tell my mum not to let us work too much because we are

like guest. When we go to our house we will be working anyways, right now let them rest.

Our culture has strong belief on Islamic values and we were brought up in a house hold that was

Islamic. From young age we were told to pray 5 times a day, be honest, respect elders, and love

young, do parda, and behave in good manners. We were also told to be kind to poor, don’t

laugh on other misery and recite our Holy book.

Honour and Shame

We are a very prideful bunch of people and try not to bring shame on our family. Men in our

family are protective of their women folks. They don’t like when someone looks that their

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family women in a bad way. They will even kill and be killed while protecting their women folks.

They do not forgive nor forget any misgivings and are very revengeful people. The pride and

respect of the family is when someone gets a good job, complete his/her education, when a

male is born. Shame is when girl run away with a guy, have an affair with a guy, husband and

wife get divorce, someone beat you. After shame comes revenge. Revenge is a scary part in our

family and all of the pashtun people. In my family I never experience someone getting revenge,

maybe because my grandfather focused on education and kindness. But I do know that revenge

is a part of our culture.

My Canadian Experience

After coming to Canada, I was very timid and shy. I was used to being chauffeured around and

things were done for me. However it was different in Calgary. The first time I went out alone to

Superstore which was few blocks away I cried for half an hour and argued with my husband. He

wouldn’t bulge and told me to get grocery and he will come pick me up from the office. I took a

fork with me for my protection. Today I am confident to go out alone in day light. I have started

talking more and sometimes I start conversation on my own with people.

My Personal Values

Confidentiality

One of my personal values that I learned from my family is confidentiality. I believe in keeping

things to myself more. I am not the type that gossips or the type to tell someone what someone

else had told me. However I will add the key word here. The key word for me to keep a secret is

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“do not tell anyone.” If someone tells me that, then I don’t tell anyone. This word bounds me to

keep it secret. I feel like if I tell anyone I will break that person trust in me.

Compassion

I believe in compassion. It is one of my personal values to show compassion and if not to show

than feel it. It is a big part of our household and religion. I have been brought up by my family,

by my surroundings to feel compassionate. Whenever I see someone that is hurt, bleeding,

physically or mentally ill, I feel for them. I really like this quote about compassion and it very

well describes my personal value.

Respect

My family thought me to respect elders, and others. My father used to tell us when we were

little, “if you respect others, others will respect you.” We were told to vacate our seats for

elders or for someone that will need the seat more than us. We were also told not to interrupt

others while they are speaking.

Conclusion

I will conclude my cultural genogram by saying that I am proud to be a part of this family and

proud to be married to my husband, and above all I am proud to be a pashtun. All my life my

family has cherished me and protected me from falling into bad ways. Because of their

teachings I have become a better person. My family and my cultural genogram has influence me

and will always influence me.

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4

14

1 2 11 12

3 4 5 6 7 8 910

13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

23 24 25 26

29

Female (living)

Male (living) Male (deceased)

Female (deceased)

Symbols

Number = Names

1=Muhammad Kamar Khan (Grandpa) 13= Ehsan Ullah Khan 25= Muhammad Riaz Khan2= Bakhte Bisyar (Grandma) 14= Janat Mahal 26=Huda Khan3= Sher Muhammad Khan 15= Jahan Aftaba 27=Zahid Khan4= Sache Bibi 16= Ikram Ullah Khan 28= Jalwa Khan5= Jahan Pas 17= Inam Ullah Khan (Father) 29= Qurban Ali Durrani (Husband) 6= Shad Muhammad Khan 18= Maheena7= Taj Mahal 19= Ehteshaan Ullah Khan8= Muhammad Kamal Khan 20= Hamida9= Abdullah Khan 21= Ghazi Abdul Ghani 10= Saheeb Jamala (Mother) 22= Naimat Abdul Kadar 11=Muhammad Nisar Khan (Grandfather) 23= Muhammad Sheraz Khan12= Husan Pari (Grandmother) 24= Sadia Khan Durrani (Me)

Three Generation Cultural Genogram

27 28



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My Grandfather:

Mohammad Nisar Khan

Me, My brother Sheraz, My

uncle Naimat holding us, My

grandma Husan Pari and my

cousin in the back

Uncle Ghazi, Uncle Naimat, Haron

Khan (Aunty Hamida’s husband),

Sher Mohammad Khan, and Jahan

Aftaba’s husband.



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Mahima aunty, me, Janat Mahal

aunty and Hamida aunty. The

three remaining sister’s of my

father.

My family from left

to right: Huda, Dad,

Riaz, Sadia, Mum,

Sheraz.

My husband Qurban



Reference

Hardy, K.V., & Laszloffy, T.A. (1995). The cultural genogram: Key to training culturally competent

family therapists. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 21(3), 227-237.

Narration by Inam ullah Khan

Narration by Jamala Khan

Narration by Qurban Ali Durrani

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