Developing Calling, Character and Competency in the Emerging Ministerial Leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention

The KALEO Network

Networking

Personal Development

Experience

KALEO (kal-eh’-o) v. Grk1. to call aloud; 2. to invite; 3. to be called

Established in 2003 as the

Missions Prep Network

In partnership with:•International Mission Board•LifeWay•Baptist Conventions

Membership required to access the Online Resource Center

Current Membership: 2,662As of 08/31/09

Calling

Character Competency

Meeting with the Emerging Leader

IntroductoryMeeting

No

YES

Set the date and time for the first coaching session.

Before the 1st Meeting• Join KALEO Network Online• Pray• Covenant• Ministry Development Plan• Self Assessment• Bio Form

Networking Assignments

Personal Development Assignments

Experiential Assignments

RevIew

Monthly Meetings

Assist the emerging leader to find another coach.

Month #1 Month #2 Month #3 Month #4

5 Milestones of Ministry

3 Areas of Focus

4 Categories of

Development

Acts 1:8Mindset

What Questions Does this Raise?

CoachingProcess

Equipping Level I- BasicEquipping Level II- Advanced

Coaching Paradigms and Experiences

What preconceived notions do you havewhen you hear the word “coach”?

What memories from your experience with a coach tend to define for you how a

coach acts or functions?

Definition of Coaching

“Coaching is helping others to feel inspired and motivated to grow themselves.”

Personal Coaching For Results – Lou Tice

“Coaching is the process of equipping people with the knowledge, tools, and opportunities they need to develop themselves and become more effective.”

Leader As Coach, pg. 14

Workbook page 18

Definition of a Coach

“A horse drawn cart used to transport persons of significance from where they are to where they need/desire to be.”

Webster’s original definition

Are you ready and willing to be a horse drawn cart?

What is Coaching?

• A coach comes along side to help – like a Barnabas.

• The goal of coaching is to help someone succeed.

• What is success?– Find out what God wants you to do, and

do it!• Each person needs to discover

individually what God wants him to do.

Coaching Is…The process of coming alongside

a person or team to help them discoverGod’s agenda for their life and ministry,

and then cooperating with the Holy Spiritto see that agenda become reality.

Coaching is not Counseling…Coaching is not Consulting…

Coaching is not Mentoring…

Christian coaching is a process and tool for evangelism (with a nonbeliever) and

discipleship (with a believer)

“Coaching is the key element in producing good leaders. To be a good leader, you must be a good coach. And to be a good coach,

you must realize that coaching is a significant form of leadership.”

Christian Coaching – Gary Collins, Ph. D.

Jesus’ strategy for His leaders was simple, yet powerful!

Bring Them 0n, Coach Them UpSend Them Out

“Then He appointed twelve, that they might be with Him and

that He might send them out to preach…”Mark 3:14

The Goal Of A Coach

To motivate, assess, develop, and guide the individual to move further from themselves and closer to where God desires them to be.

“In vain do we buildthe company [ministry], if we do not first

build the people.” Carlton Jackson, Humanisphere, Inc.

Amoeba Theory of Management

Workbook page 20

Be CarefulBe Committed

Be Humble

The GOAL of a Coach

Be Concerned“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 2:3-5

Marks of a Great Coach

• Aware of their values

• Always learning

• Realistically optimistic

• Action oriented

• Courageous enough to be forthright

• Genuinely caring

The Best Coaches Are:• Growing in self-awareness

• Forward-looking

• Enthusiastic about change

• Flexible

• Trustworthy and respected

Workbook page 21

THE #1 TOOL OF EFFECTIVE COACHING- ASKING POWERFUL QUESTIONS

What Makes a Question Powerful?

How do you know when you have asked a powerful question?

Workbook page 23

Situations where coaching might have helped…

“Good coaching isn’t the art of giving good answers. It’s

the art of asking good questions.”

Listen

Ask Confirm

Start high level then get more specific…What are you trying to accomplish?

What results have you achieved so far?

What solutions have you attempted?

How can you apply what you’ve learned?

What other options could you pursue?

How can I better support you?

Would it help to talk again?

Asking instead of telling…

Ask open ended questions.What are your goals?

Avoid asking “why” questions.Why would you solve it that way?

Have a sincere desire to learn.

Keep quiet and listen for the answer.

“… Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19

Asking instead of telling…

- Asking stimulates learning - Promotes the discovery of opportunities and/or

solutions on their own.- The coach discovers what the individual is thinking and their current competency levels.

Listen

Ask Confirm

3 to 1 Ratio - Ask at least three questions before you do any telling.

What’s The Value?

General rule asking instead of telling…

Workbook page 25

- Telling controls conversations, - Minimizes the flow of ideas - Is more likely to trigger internal defense mechanisms.

3 to 1 Ratio - Ask at least three questions before you do any telling.

What’s The Value?

Asking instead of telling…

Listen

Ask Confirm

© 1998 “Co-Active Coaching”by Whitworth, Kimsey-House, and Sandahl

Different Ways to Ask Questions

• Is this an effective strategy for you?

• Is there more to be learned here?

• It sounds like you’re stuck between two choices – is this true?

Closed Open

• What makes this an effective strategy for you?

• How can you increase the learning in this experience?

• What’s another choice you could make besides the two in front of you?

• What questions will you include in the survey?

• How much exercise do you need each week?

• What are the training options available?

Information Gathering Curious

• What will the survey results give you?

• What would “being-fit” look like for you?

• What do you want to know that you don’t already know?

Different Ways to Ask Questions

© 1998 “Co-Active Coaching”by Whitworth, Kimsey-House, and Sandahl

Powerful QuestionsThe Process:• From rehearsing the story to reflection• From reflection to action

Through increasingly focused questions, the coaching process moves a person from simply talking about life or ministry issues to actually doing something.

APPLY • Get into groups of three

• Each person gets 5-15 minutes to practice coaching

• The other two leaders (1)observe & (2)act as the coachee

• The purpose of this exercise is to begin build a coaching relationship by focusing on the coachee through asking powerful questions

• Pray for him/her

• Rotate to the next person and repeat the process

Workbook page 27

THE NLLN COACHING LEADERCoaching Process

Relate

Reflect Refocus

Review Resource

CoachNet and Coaching 101 by Bob Logan, used with permission

Key Actions: RELATE

• Define the coaching relationship and process.

• Assess compatibility of coach and leader.

• Establish rapport and mutual respect.

• Begin to build a trusting relationship.

• Determine coaching agenda and guidelines.

The Emerging Leaders Five Basic Needs

Be Valued Be Heard Be Respected Be Safe Belong

When these needs are met, the individual’s openness

to learn and change increases significantly!

Thomas G. Crane, The Heart Of Coaching

Workbook page 30

Relate: establish a coaching relationship and agenda

• How are you doing?• Where are you now?• How can I be praying for you?• What do you want to address?• How can we work together?

• Seek a deeper understanding of key issues.

• Sort issues by importance/urgency.

• Identify and agree upon priority issues.

• Commit to address issues obtained.

Coaching 101 Handbook - Page 21

Key Actions: REFLECT

• What God has called you to do?

• Priority clarification

• Balancing personal roles and priorities

• Ministry evaluation

• Understanding key issues

REFLECT TOOLS

Reflect: discover and explore key issues

• What can we celebrate?

• What’s really important?

• What obstacles are you facing?

• Where do you want to go?

• How committed are you?

Use Discovery Listening!• Summarize periodically

– Without interpreting

– Without evaluating

• Invite to say more– “What else?”

– “Tell me more”

• Unpack fully before giving your input

Key Actions: REFOCUS

• Clarify vision• Brainstorm possible solutions• Choose according to priorities• Confirm commitment to action• Consider change dynamics• Determine action steps and develop timeline• Agree upon an accountability structure

Refocus: determine priorities and action steps

• What do you want to accomplish?

• What are possible ways to get there?

• Which path will you choose?

• What will you do?- who, what, where, when, how

• How will you measure your progress?

Change Guide Questions1. How will you free up time and energy to focus

on the change process?2. Who are the key people who can work with you

to facilitate the change process?3. Who are the key influencers who need to

embrace the vision and/or be included in the discussion/planning process?

4. What permissions need to be secured? From whom?

Change Guide: Questions5. Who are the people/groups most affected by the

proposed changes? What impact will each face?You personally Your familyMinistries Others

6. What can you do to help people embrace the change?

7. How will you strengthen relationships during the change process?

Key Actions: RESOURCE

• Assess existing resourcesFocus first on what you already have instead of what you don’t have!

• Brainstorm all resource needs • Identify new resource(s) to accomplish goals• Determine where and how to find new

resources• Clarify and confirm the role of coach

Resource: provide support and encouragement

• What resources do you already have?

• What’s resources will you need?

• What resources are missing?

• Where will you find the resources you need?

• What can I do to support you?

Key Actions: REVIEW

• Evaluate action plan and process

• Celebrate progress

• Maximize learning

• Make midcourse corrections

• Identify new projects

• Evaluate coaching relationship

Review: evaluate, celebrate, and revise plans

• What's working?

• What’s not working (or didn’t work)?

• What are you learning?

• What needs to change?

• What further training would be helpful?

• What's next in our coaching relationship?

Coaching Triads Focus on a key issue in your life or ministry!• Get into groups of three.• Each person gets 10 minutes to be coached. • Rotate leaders who (1)observe and (2) coach. • Finish by having the person being coached articulate

what God wants him/her to do next.• Pray for him/her.• Rotate to the next person and repeat the process.

Coaching Appointment

Clarify Action Steps

Celebrate and Evaluate

Listen and Ask Questions

CrystallizeKey Issues

Start Here

Workbook page 36

MOTIVATE – STRETCH - LEARN“Place a premium on learning-not knowing.”

SetGrowing

Pains

CreateWhat

Could Be

TeachNew

Behaviors

One of the most important steps that a MOTIVATOR can take is to simply keep people in

action…regardless of the initial results.

Any meaningful change is connected to a change in ACTION.

CreateWhat

Could Be

SetGrowing

Pains

TeachNew

Behaviors

The greatest motivational tool in coaching

is to help paint a portrait of what could be.

The greatest motivational tool in coaching

is to help paint a portrait of what could be.

CreateWhat

Could Be

When we stretch we strengthen, we create

flexibility, and we grow in our fundamental beliefs.

When we stretch we strengthen, we create

flexibility, and we grow in our fundamental beliefs.

SetGrowing

Pains

CreateWhat

Could Be

what could bewhat could be

SetGrowing

PainsStretching creates tension

CreateWhat

Could Be

Growing Pain Principles

Aspiration Leverage Convergence Concentration

Aspiration Leverage Convergence Concentration

SetGrowing

Pains

CreateWhat

Could Be

SetGrowing

PainsTeachNew

Behaviors

CreateWhat

Could Be

Motivating people to be all that God wants them to become requires more than action……it requires new learning.

GrowthOpportunities

Mission, Vision, Values

GrowthObjectives

GrowthOutcomes

Personal Development Plan

IdentifiedOpportunities

Workbook page 38

A one to three sentence statement that clearly describes a leader’s purpose and

roles in and for His kingdom.

Mission

The non-negotiable, constant, core beliefs that you are passionate about and drive you personally.

Values

A clear and challenging picture of my daily walk with God, as He leads me in accomplishing my mission and adhering to my values.

Vision

Personal VisionPersonal Mission Personal Values

A biblically based statement that clearly describes my purpose and roles in and for His kingdom.

The non-negotiable, constant, core beliefs that I am passionate about and drive me personally.

A clear and challenging picture of my daily walk with God, as He leads me in accomplishing my mission and adhering to my values.

Personal Development Plan

Workbook page 39-40

Where do I need to grow…What are my greatest opportunities for growth over the next 12 months?

Opportunity

What will I commit to do?…Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Timebound

Objectives

What will the changes look like in my leadership?

Outcomes

OutcomeObjectivesOpportunity

What will I commit to do?

Specific MeasurableAchievable Relevant Timebound

Where do I need to grow?

What are my greatest

opportunities for growth over the next

12 months?

What will the changes look like in my leadership?

Personal Development Plan

Workbook page 43

Results

ResultsInitiatives

Initiatives

Initiatives with Strategic Focus!

Initiatives without Strategic Focus!

“Get the word out. Teach all these things. And don’t let anyone put you down because you’re young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by

demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading

Scripture, giving counsel, teaching.” Peterson, E. H. 1995. The Message

I Timothy 4

“And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good

deeds of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching”

(Titus 2 :7 NLT).

The COACH is focused on adding valueto others and therefore to the kingdom…

not out of self-serving motivations.

“But adding value not only means that people must be directed

to learn something new, but alsounlearn something old.”

Masterful Coaching page 276

One of the signs of an effective coach is that they provide close observation and feedback on a regular basis.

• Speak with honesty, integrity, and good intent• Link feedback to the individual’s purpose & values• Connect challenges to choices and actions• Be specific in your feedback and observations• Lovingly connect what they say and what they do• Allow for failure and incremental learning• Focus on what’s missing rather than what’s wrong• Offer praise for who they are, not just

accomplishments• Feedback should be engaging not threatening

Don'ts Do’s

Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by work, time pressure, or other events

Do find a time and place that allows you to be free from distractions. Focus – get clear with yourself about your intentions.

Don’t set the agenda for the coaching session by yourself.

Do ask the emerging leader what their agenda is for the meeting. For example: “What do you want to make sure we’ve accomplished by the end of our meeting today?”

Don’t ignore nonverbal messages. Do explore areas where nonverbal behavior does not match the words, or where it suggests there may be other feelings behind what is being said.

Don’t ignore feelings underlying the communications.

Do talk about the feelings experienced by the emerging leader and by you.

Don’ts Do’s

Don’t avoid unpleasant feelings or rescue the emerging leader when there is an uncomfortable moment.

Do allow silence and let the emerging leader struggle, think, and problem-solve quietly as you wait for them to proceed.

Don’t give “You” messages, or interpretations, especially of a psychological nature. For example, avoid: “You’re being defensive” or “It looks like you have problems with ________ (issues).”

Describe specific behavioral examples, then,

Describe the impact of the behavior.

Don’t miss or avoid behavior in the coaching session itself that is important for the emerging leader’s self-awareness.

Do talk directly about the behavior when it occurs, in the immediacy of the moment. Encourage the emerging leader to reflect on the behavior, and share how it impacts you as the coach. The emerging leader’s behavior in the coaching relationship is likely the same as they display elsewhere.

Don’t overemphasize the task by pushing, persuading, or moving too quickly to a “solution”

Do emphasize the relationship, Accentuate the collaborative nature of coaching by doing more asking than telling. Encourage coaches to own the problem.

Don’ts Do’s

Don’t be too eager to offer advice. Do ask open-ended questions and encourage the emerging leader to explore solutions. Offer advice only if an emerging leader is truly stuck or if, after the emerging leader has done some problem solving, you have additional information or insights that may help them.

Don’t allow the emerging leader (or yourself) to be limited to only one perspective of the situation or problem.

Do encourage the emerging leader to take others’ perspectives of the situation and to problem solve according; e.g., “ How do you suppose _____ sees this?” or “What would _____ likely say or do about this?”

Don’t provide premature or false reassurance.

Do challenge the emerging leader to provide alternative strategies; help develop and stretch goals; compare outcomes to goals.

Don’t emphasize only the negative. Do support/encourage effort and risk-taking.Acknowledge and praise what is going well. Ask the emerging leader to describe a similar challenge they have handled successfully in the past.

Once you and the emerging leader have identified that some of the

desired behavior does take place, at least occasionally, the advice

becomes self-evident….

Do more of it!