Description, Dialogue, and

Strong Sentences

Taking your writing to

the next level

Description: be specific

Avoid words that don’t add any detail:

good, fine, pretty, okay, etc…

As they say on the Food

Network…

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

“Delicious” doesn’t

say anything

about how food

actually tastes.

Beware of “very”

The word “very” never works the way you want it to. It does the OPPOSITE of adding emphasis

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

My dog is

very cute.

My dog is

adorable.

My dog is

precious.

For example…

Voldemort was very

upset that Harry was

still alive.

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Getting better…

Voldemort was furious that Harry was still

alive.

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Ta da!

Voldemort was enraged that Harry Potter

was still among the living.

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Description Competition!

In groups of 3 and 4, choose a random object

from the Bag O’Stuff.

Practicing your writing of sensory imagery,

brainstorm as many adjectives and phrases as

you can for the object.

Compose a sentence or scene for your object

and write it on the board. Prizes will be awarded

for most words and longest sentence!

Dialogue

Dialogue or direct quotes may be useful to

bring characters or scenes to life.

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Which is more effective?

On my first day learning to drive, my

grandfather told me not to get to close to the

mailboxes and stay in the center of the lane.

“Stay to the left!” Pop exclaimed, his hand

flying to his forehead and his foot reaching

for an imaginary brake. “That’s a mailbox!

Stay to the left!”

Dialogue Mechanics

Place “quotation marks” around words that

are actually spoken.

Which is correct?

“Brick said, I love lamp.”

Brian said, “They’ve done studies…Sixty

percent of the time, it works every time.”

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Dialogue Mechanics

Ending Punctuation

1) Sentences that end with quotes

– Ron shouted, “I’m in a glass case of

emotion!”

2) Sentences that don’t end with quotes

– “Milk was a bad choice,” said Ron.

3) ! and ?

– “Do you really love the lamp, Brick?” asked

Ron. Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

New speaker= New paragraph

“Good afternoon. My name is

Russell. Are you in need of

assistance today, sir?” asked

Russell.

“No,” said Mr.

Fredrickson.

“Could I help you cross

the street?” asked Russell.

“No.”

“Could I help you cross

your yard?” asked Russell.

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Dialogue: Purpose

Develop Character/Relationships

Add information

Move story forward

Create Tension

x Bad dialogue is just boring “How was your day at school,” asked Mom.

“Fine,” I said.

“What classes did you have,” she continued.

“The same as usual,” I said.

Adapted from “Description and Dialogue: Adding the

zest and zing to a literacy narrative” by Sonny Park

Dialogue Competition!

Write a short dialogue between these two characters (at least

8 lines). It needs to be dialogue with a purpose, not just

speaking generally. Best dialogue will be awarded a prize!

Sentence-Level writing

Types of Sentences

• Simple (one idea)

• Compound (two ideas of equal

importance)

• Complex (more than one idea; one idea is

more important than the others)

• Compound-Complex (lots of ideas, lots of

different emphases)

Sentence-Level writing

Choosing types of sentences

• Decide what you want to emphasize

• Read your sentences out loud to

determine rhythm

• Varying sentences reveals sophistication

as a writer—influences tone/diction

Sentence-Level writing

Cumulative sentences: start with the main point, leave a trail of details

• “panoramic view”

“We hold these truths to be self-evident:

that all men are created equal, that they

are endowed by their Creator with certain

unalienable Rights, that among these are

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Sentence-Level writing

Periodic sentences: building up to the main point at the end

• Building suspense and holding reader’s interest

“To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people, and affection of children…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived: this is to have succeeded.” from “Success” by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Parallelism

Makes the same parts of speech “parallel”

(same number or tense) to emphasize what

you are saying.

“But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate

-- we can not consecrate -- we can not

hallow -- this ground.” –Abraham Lincoln,

“Gettysburg Address”

“Bookending” Sentences

Use an image, quote, or repeated phrases

at the beginning and end of your narrative to

give your reader a sense that your narrative

has come “full circle”

• See Skaskiw’s essay (pp.118-121)

Varying your sentences

Alternate between different types of sentences throughout your paragraph

• Long sentences = important details/context

• Short, emphatic sentences = the main point

Sentences should create a rhythm—read out loud!

Sentences should not all start the same way

• Avoid overloading with “I”

Connecting your sentences

Each sentence is not an isolated unit. Use transitions to make your sentences relate to each other.

Tips from They Say, I Say (Ch. 8)

• Transition terms

– Addition, elaboration, comparison, contrast

• Pointing words

– This is significant because…

• Key terms/phrases

• Repetition as reinforcement

– “In other words…”