december 2017 preteen preteen - constant...

WEEK ONE WEEK ONEASKTHIS

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What do you have to give? What do you have to give?

M O R N I N G T I M E M O R N I N G T I M E

This month is all about generosity and your child will be given so many opportunities to practice this life app. Every time you see them carry out a generous action, write it on a note

and hang it on their mirror. Affirming your child will empower them to keep going!

This month is all about generosity and your child will be given so many opportunities to practice this life app. Every time you see them carry out a generous action, write it on a note

and hang it on their mirror. Affirming your child will empower them to keep going!

REMEMBER THIS REMEMBER THIS“Command the rich to do what is good. Tell them to be rich in doing good things. They must give freely. They must be willing to share.”

1 Timothy 6:18, NIrV

“Command the rich to do what is good. Tell them to be rich in doing good things. They must give freely. They must be willing to share.”


LIFE APP

LIFE APP

GENEROSITY – Making someone’s day bygiving something away


© 2017 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ParentCue.org © 2017 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. www.ParentCue.org

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1 JOHN 4:9-11God Gave Us Jesus

1 JOHN 4:9-11God Gave Us Jesus

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DECEMBER2017

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Expectations rarely run higher than they do during the holidays. From giving gifts to creating the perfect family traditions. Expectations hover just beyond reach of achievability for most of us.

A few years ago I was listening to a speaker, and only remember one thing from what he said. It was when he stopped his main talk and asked the audience, “You know what the secret to happiness is, right?” . . . (Pause) . . . “Low expectations.”

It’s so simple, a bit disappointing, and so true. The only reason you and I ever get disappointed is because we expected something better. Expect nothing, and you’ll never be disappointed.

Lowering expectations could make Christmas so much more enjoyable. Expecting the perfect gift from your spouse? Drop the expectation. Then you’ll be happy with any gift. Worried about Christmas dinner? Prepare well, but forget about the picture of the perfect family dinner . . . then you’ll be happy even when the turkey you labored over for hours is overcooked and your third cousin twice removed is more than happy to point it out.

Lowering expectations also increases gratitude. In fact, I think it’s the key to gratitude. If your expectations

are chronically high, you will never be thankful for anything that doesn’t exceed them. Gratitude is easy to experience when you realize that spiritually, we are in a position to demand nothing . . . that what we’ve received is a gift from a Savior who is merciful . . . that what we’ve received is far greater than what we have deserved.

Lowered expectations might be a great conversation subject with your kids this week. If their gift list this year consists of a long list of specific items with size, brand, design and color all pre-determined, it’s going to be hard to be grateful Christmas morning. Why? Because anything short of their exact expectation is disappointment. You might even want to have the conversation with your spouse. We can place unrealistic expectations on each other about so many things.

Why not think and pray about lowering your expectations this week? You’ll take yourself less seriously, enjoy others more and be profoundly grateful for things you might have even resented otherwise.

For more blog posts and parenting resources, visit:

ParentCue.org

Expectations rarely run higher than they do during the holidays. From giving gifts to creating the perfect family traditions. Expectations hover just beyond reach of achievability for most of us.

A few years ago I was listening to a speaker, and only remember one thing from what he said. It was when he stopped his main talk and asked the audience, “You know what the secret to happiness is, right?” . . . (Pause) . . . “Low expectations.”

It’s so simple, a bit disappointing, and so true. The only reason you and I ever get disappointed is because we expected something better. Expect nothing, and you’ll never be disappointed.

Lowering expectations could make Christmas so much more enjoyable. Expecting the perfect gift from your spouse? Drop the expectation. Then you’ll be happy with any gift. Worried about Christmas dinner? Prepare well, but forget about the picture of the perfect family dinner . . . then you’ll be happy even when the turkey you labored over for hours is overcooked and your third cousin twice removed is more than happy to point it out.

Lowering expectations also increases gratitude. In fact, I think it’s the key to gratitude. If your expectations

are chronically high, you will never be thankful for anything that doesn’t exceed them. Gratitude is easy to experience when you realize that spiritually, we are in a position to demand nothing . . . that what we’ve received is a gift from a Savior who is merciful . . . that what we’ve received is far greater than what we have deserved.

Lowered expectations might be a great conversation subject with your kids this week. If their gift list this year consists of a long list of specific items with size, brand, design and color all pre-determined, it’s going to be hard to be grateful Christmas morning. Why? Because anything short of their exact expectation is disappointment. You might even want to have the conversation with your spouse. We can place unrealistic expectations on each other about so many things.

Why not think and pray about lowering your expectations this week? You’ll take yourself less seriously, enjoy others more and be profoundly grateful for things you might have even resented otherwise.


ParentCue.org

LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONSTHIS CHRISTMAS

by Carey Nieuwhof

LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONSTHIS CHRISTMAS

by Carey Nieuwhof

WEEK TWO WEEK TWO

LUKE 12:13-21Parable of the Rich Man

LUKE 12:13-21Parable of the Rich Man

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Why is it important to give? Why is it important to give?

Q & A for kids: Do you find it easier to give away things or your time?Q & A for parents: What was your favorite gift you received as a child?

Q & A for kids: Do you find it easier to give away things or your time?Q & A for parents: What was your favorite gift you received as a child?

LIFE APP

LIFE APP


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M E A L T I M E M E A L T I M E

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CHRISTMAS AND THE “G” WORDby Carey Nieuwhof

CHRISTMAS AND THE “G” WORDby Carey Nieuwhof

Hi. My name is Carey, and I’m greedy. (This is the point where you all say, “Hi Carey.”) I hate to say it. I mean no one goes around and says they’re greedy, right? We might think other people are greedy (it’s just so easy to spot the sins of others—even from a distance), but it’s so difficult to see in ourselves.

But read this definition of greed and tell me if at least a piece of it doesn’t own you—or your kids: Greed is an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

What makes this time of year difficult for greedy people is that we’re going to add to the pile of what we have that we arguably don’t need. There are things I want that I don’t need. And most of us are actually going to receive things that not only do we not need, but we do not want.

There’s a fine line we tread as parents in helping our kids celebrate Christmas. I still remember the almost delirious excitement I had as a child in being able to open gifts at Christmas. Let’s face it, what kid doesn’t love to get gifts at Christmas?

So how do you make sure, as a parent, that you don’t inadvertently fuel greed in your family this Christmas? I suppose you could not give presents and hand out coal. But in my experience, the very best antidote to greed I’ve discovered is generosity. The more I give, the deeper I cut into the greed that lives inside of me.

The more I am willing to take giving to a sacrificial level, the more I am reminded that this life is not about me or about my wants and desire.

As Christmas approaches, ask yourself this question: what am I doing to stem greed in my family this Christmas? Maybe you could:

• Sponsor a family in need.• Clean out your toy room and donate toys to a local charity• Bake cookies for your neighbors• Make sure giving is part of your full year—your weekly practice rather than just a seasonal pursuit.


ParentCue.org

Hi. My name is Carey, and I’m greedy. (This is the point where you all say, “Hi Carey.”) I hate to say it. I mean no one goes around and says they’re greedy, right? We might think other people are greedy (it’s just so easy to spot the sins of others—even from a distance), but it’s so difficult to see in ourselves.

But read this definition of greed and tell me if at least a piece of it doesn’t own you—or your kids: Greed is an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

What makes this time of year difficult for greedy people is that we’re going to add to the pile of what we have that we arguably don’t need. There are things I want that I don’t need. And most of us are actually going to receive things that not only do we not need, but we do not want.

There’s a fine line we tread as parents in helping our kids celebrate Christmas. I still remember the almost delirious excitement I had as a child in being able to open gifts at Christmas. Let’s face it, what kid doesn’t love to get gifts at Christmas?

So how do you make sure, as a parent, that you don’t inadvertently fuel greed in your family this Christmas? I suppose you could not give presents and hand out coal. But in my experience, the very best antidote to greed I’ve discovered is generosity. The more I give, the deeper I cut into the greed that lives inside of me.

The more I am willing to take giving to a sacrificial level, the more I am reminded that this life is not about me or about my wants and desire.

As Christmas approaches, ask yourself this question: what am I doing to stem greed in my family this Christmas? Maybe you could:

• Sponsor a family in need.• Clean out your toy room and donate toys to a local charity• Bake cookies for your neighbors• Make sure giving is part of your full year—your weekly practice rather than just a seasonal pursuit.


ParentCue.org

WEEK THREE WEEK THREE

1 TIMOTHY 6:18 Be Rich

1 TIMOTHY 6:18 Be Rich

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Tell your children to be on the lookout for paying it forward! Explain that when you all choose to go through a drive through for a meal, you can

pay for the person’s meal behind you. Encourage each family member to contribute in this game with their own money. As a family you each are making someone’s day by giving something away all month long!

Tell your children to be on the lookout for paying it forward! Explain that when you all choose to go through a drive through for a meal, you can

pay for the person’s meal behind you. Encourage each family member to contribute in this game with their own money. As a family you each are making someone’s day by giving something away all month long!

What are some ways you can give this Christmas?

What are some ways you can give this Christmas?

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LIFE APP


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D R I V E T I M E D R I V E T I M E

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HOW TO BE RICHby Parent Cue

HOW TO BE RICHby Parent Cue

With December here, we don’t have to wonder what our kids are thinking about. They’re making their lists and checking them many more times than twice. As focused as our kids may be on what they’re getting for Christmas, sometimes that makes it even more surprising how much they want to give.

In each one of our lives, we have a tendency to move toward a lifestyle of generosity or a lifestyle of greed. Are we wrapped up in ourselves or our things, or do we reflect God’s character by giving freely to others?

Kids will see this most clearly when parents and leaders give them a specific opportunity to be generous. For example, let me tell you about Seth. Seth had an unruly reputation in his fifth-grade class. He wouldn’t pay attention and got into trouble for being disrespectful. Then one Sunday, Seth heard in his small group at church about some kids about his age in another country. The small group leader talked about those kids and what they needed just to survive. For some reason, that got Seth’s attention.

He decided he’d shovel snow to raise money so he could help his small group

support one of the kids overseas. One of Seth’s teachers wrote us to tell us how this simple act of generosity led to a radical transformation in Seth’s life. His attention span changed, he participated in class, he had a new view of the world. We might even say Seth became part of a better story.

When the apostle Paul was talking to young Timothy, he gave this simple instruction about how to be part of a better story: “. . . be rich in good things. They must give freely. They must be willing to share,” 1 Timothy 6:18. In other words, you’re not generous because you’re rich. You’re rich because you’re generous.

Kids will face the tension between generosity and greed all of their lives. It will only intensify as they grow older. First it’s toys, then suddenly it’s houses and bank accounts. But we can teach them to measure success in a different way, not by what they get, but by what they give. For Seth, that made all the difference.


ParentCue.org

With December here, we don’t have to wonder what our kids are thinking about. They’re making their lists and checking them many more times than twice. As focused as our kids may be on what they’re getting for Christmas, sometimes that makes it even more surprising how much they want to give.

In each one of our lives, we have a tendency to move toward a lifestyle of generosity or a lifestyle of greed. Are we wrapped up in ourselves or our things, or do we reflect God’s character by giving freely to others?

Kids will see this most clearly when parents and leaders give them a specific opportunity to be generous. For example, let me tell you about Seth. Seth had an unruly reputation in his fifth-grade class. He wouldn’t pay attention and got into trouble for being disrespectful. Then one Sunday, Seth heard in his small group at church about some kids about his age in another country. The small group leader talked about those kids and what they needed just to survive. For some reason, that got Seth’s attention.

He decided he’d shovel snow to raise money so he could help his small group

support one of the kids overseas. One of Seth’s teachers wrote us to tell us how this simple act of generosity led to a radical transformation in Seth’s life. His attention span changed, he participated in class, he had a new view of the world. We might even say Seth became part of a better story.

When the apostle Paul was talking to young Timothy, he gave this simple instruction about how to be part of a better story: “. . . be rich in good things. They must give freely. They must be willing to share,” 1 Timothy 6:18. In other words, you’re not generous because you’re rich. You’re rich because you’re generous.

Kids will face the tension between generosity and greed all of their lives. It will only intensify as they grow older. First it’s toys, then suddenly it’s houses and bank accounts. But we can teach them to measure success in a different way, not by what they get, but by what they give. For Seth, that made all the difference.


ParentCue.org

WEEK FOUR WEEK FOUR

LUKE 2:1-18Jesus is Born

LUKE 2:1-18Jesus is Born

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B E D T I M E B E D T I M E

Read Luke 2:1-18. God sent Jesus for each one of us as the most incredible gift ever. He lived on earth, among us, as a human and experienced

all the tough stuff we do. Then, He gave His life to pay the price for the wrong things we’ve done. Because of that, we can live forever with God. Pray for each other. Ask God to help you see His amazing gift for you in Jesus every single day.

Read Luke 2:1-18. God sent Jesus for each one of us as the most incredible gift ever. He lived on earth, among us, as a human and experienced

all the tough stuff we do. Then, He gave His life to pay the price for the wrong things we’ve done. Because of that, we can live forever with God. Pray for each other. Ask God to help you see His amazing gift for you in Jesus every single day.

What does Christmasmean to you?

What does Christmasmean to you?

LIFE APP

LIFE APP


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AN IMPERFECT CHRISTMAS by Carey Nieuwhof

AN IMPERFECT CHRISTMAS by Carey Nieuwhof

It’s no secret that Christmas can be one of the most stressful times of the year. And the tension is that by Christmas Eve, all the ‘how to avoid stress’ tips from the I’ve-got-everything-together-why-don’t-you people seem to do a little too late:

• Start your shopping early. (Too late) • Eat in moderation. (You’ve already pigged out)• Spend less. (You tried. Really tried.)• Don’t say ‘yes’ to every family gathering. (But how could you say ‘no’?)

I could go on, but it wouldn’t be helpful. The truth is there is always some stress associated with the holidays. Which is incredibly good news. Especially given that it’s Christmas. The stress you’re feeling (or the grief, or the emptiness) is exactly why Christmas arrived in the first place.Jesus arrived on the planet not because we had it all together, but because we didn’t. Jesus didn’t come for us because we were exceptionally well organized and on budget. Jesus didn’t come into a world where families were perfectly behaved.He came into a world that desperately needed GRACE. What if your imperfect Christmas is actually a front row seat to grace?Grace is a much-misunderstood concept. It’s never earned. It’s not deserved. Because if it were, it

wouldn’t be grace. Grace is simply undeserved love. Love that came to you not because you’ve got it oh-so-together, but because you don’t. That’s Christmas. That’s the Gospel.And if you look hard enough, it’s actually in the tension this Christmas where you might see grace the most clearly:At dinner with that terribly awkward relative. Grace never discriminates. Grace is favor that is unmerited, and your favor can be too.When the kids expect too much. In the same way that you get frustrated with the expectations of your kids, God must at times get frustrated with the expectations we bring to him. Yet His love remains.When you see someone in need. Jesus was born in a feeding trough, and the announcement of His birth went to common shepherds. God has a heart for His people.In your exhaustion. Grace comes when we need it most . . . and it never runs out.The surprise of Christmas is this: It speaks to us in our weakness even more than it speaks to us in our strength. And because of your imperfect Christmas, you might have a front row seat to see what Christmas is actually all about.


ParentCue.org

It’s no secret that Christmas can be one of the most stressful times of the year. And the tension is that by Christmas Eve, all the ‘how to avoid stress’ tips from the I’ve-got-everything-together-why-don’t-you people seem to do a little too late:

• Start your shopping early. (Too late) • Eat in moderation. (You’ve already pigged out)• Spend less. (You tried. Really tried.)• Don’t say ‘yes’ to every family gathering. (But how could you say ‘no’?)

I could go on, but it wouldn’t be helpful. The truth is there is always some stress associated with the holidays. Which is incredibly good news. Especially given that it’s Christmas. The stress you’re feeling (or the grief, or the emptiness) is exactly why Christmas arrived in the first place.Jesus arrived on the planet not because we had it all together, but because we didn’t. Jesus didn’t come for us because we were exceptionally well organized and on budget. Jesus didn’t come into a world where families were perfectly behaved.He came into a world that desperately needed GRACE. What if your imperfect Christmas is actually a front row seat to grace?Grace is a much-misunderstood concept. It’s never earned. It’s not deserved. Because if it were, it

wouldn’t be grace. Grace is simply undeserved love. Love that came to you not because you’ve got it oh-so-together, but because you don’t. That’s Christmas. That’s the Gospel.And if you look hard enough, it’s actually in the tension this Christmas where you might see grace the most clearly:At dinner with that terribly awkward relative. Grace never discriminates. Grace is favor that is unmerited, and your favor can be too.When the kids expect too much. In the same way that you get frustrated with the expectations of your kids, God must at times get frustrated with the expectations we bring to him. Yet His love remains.When you see someone in need. Jesus was born in a feeding trough, and the announcement of His birth went to common shepherds. God has a heart for His people.In your exhaustion. Grace comes when we need it most . . . and it never runs out.The surprise of Christmas is this: It speaks to us in our weakness even more than it speaks to us in our strength. And because of your imperfect Christmas, you might have a front row seat to see what Christmas is actually all about.


ParentCue.org

WEEK FIVE WEEK FIVE

MATTHEW 2:1-12Wise Men Visit Jesus

MATTHEW 2:1-12Wise Men Visit Jesus

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What is something your family could do to raise money to help someone in need, or a worthwhile organization? Brainstorm over dinner who you

think needs help, how you can get others involved and what resources you already have that could help. If your family takes on this challenge, share what you do with others and on social media to inspire some more generosity, and tag @parentcue if you do!

What is something your family could do to raise money to help someone in need, or a worthwhile organization? Brainstorm over dinner who you

think needs help, how you can get others involved and what resources you already have that could help. If your family takes on this challenge, share what you do with others and on social media to inspire some more generosity, and tag @parentcue if you do!

How can you bemore generous?

How can you bemore generous?

LIFE APP

LIFE APP


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M E A L T I M E M E A L T I M E

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DECEMBER2017



HOW TO MAKE THE MOSTOF YOUR TIME EVERY WEEK

by Parent Cue

HOW TO MAKE THE MOSTOF YOUR TIME EVERY WEEK

by Parent Cue

Time. It’s moving fast. It’s limited. We will never have more of it than we already have. So the issue is not how do we get more, but how do we become more intentional about what we have?

How about taking a look at your family rhythm? Every family has one. Rhythm is how we arrange our time. As we go from day to day, we establish and shape a rhythm that in turn shapes our kids.

Rhythm establishes value. Things that become part of the daily rhythm are the things our families will come to believe are most important. Rhythm silently but significantly communicates value.

There are some things that may be conceptually very important to us as parents, but if we never include them in our families’ rhythms, our kids will perceive them as having little value. For example, exercise might be important to a parent in principle, but if no one ever plays baseball in the backyard, takes a trip to the park, or throws a Frisbee, why would the kids come to value exercise? If it’s not part of their rhythm, it’s not part of their reality. The same is true for faith. If you want to instill an everyday faith in your kid’s lives, you have to incorporate faith in the daily rhythm.

Every family rhythm is different, but on a basic level, everyone wakes up, eats, travels, and sleeps. In Deuteronomy 6, Moses taps into this natural rhythm when he encourages his people to nurture lasting faith in their kids, Talk about them when you are at home. Talk about them when you walk along the road. Speak about them when you go to bed. And speak about them when you get up, (NIrV).

He was essentially saying, if you are going to impress these truths in the hearts of your children, you will have to be more deliberate about creating a rhythm within your home.

• Have focused discussions during meal times.• Have playful and informal interactions while driving or walking.• Listen and have intimate conversations while tucking your kids in bed.• Encourage the hearts of your kids when you get up in the morning.

As the New Year approaches, think about your families weekly rhythm. What does it look like?


ParentCue.org

Time. It’s moving fast. It’s limited. We will never have more of it than we already have. So the issue is not how do we get more, but how do we become more intentional about what we have?

How about taking a look at your family rhythm? Every family has one. Rhythm is how we arrange our time. As we go from day to day, we establish and shape a rhythm that in turn shapes our kids.

Rhythm establishes value. Things that become part of the daily rhythm are the things our families will come to believe are most important. Rhythm silently but significantly communicates value.

There are some things that may be conceptually very important to us as parents, but if we never include them in our families’ rhythms, our kids will perceive them as having little value. For example, exercise might be important to a parent in principle, but if no one ever plays baseball in the backyard, takes a trip to the park, or throws a Frisbee, why would the kids come to value exercise? If it’s not part of their rhythm, it’s not part of their reality. The same is true for faith. If you want to instill an everyday faith in your kid’s lives, you have to incorporate faith in the daily rhythm.

Every family rhythm is different, but on a basic level, everyone wakes up, eats, travels, and sleeps. In Deuteronomy 6, Moses taps into this natural rhythm when he encourages his people to nurture lasting faith in their kids, Talk about them when you are at home. Talk about them when you walk along the road. Speak about them when you go to bed. And speak about them when you get up, (NIrV).

He was essentially saying, if you are going to impress these truths in the hearts of your children, you will have to be more deliberate about creating a rhythm within your home.

• Have focused discussions during meal times.• Have playful and informal interactions while driving or walking.• Listen and have intimate conversations while tucking your kids in bed.• Encourage the hearts of your kids when you get up in the morning.

As the New Year approaches, think about your families weekly rhythm. What does it look like?


ParentCue.org

december 2017 preteen preteen - constant...

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