MARC’S SENSORY OASISSensory-based Occupational Therapy

www.marclandry.ca

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J U S T A Q U I E T L I T T L E P A R T Y ?

Does the idea of going to your best friends’ for a relaxed holiday party with your child make you

want to crawl into a closet and hide?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Novel decorations, lots of people, lots of kids, laughing, lights, annoying people, loud laughter, poking fun, secret santa, unlabeled foods, aunt Mathilda, sugared-up kids, frazzled pets, people touching you, feigning interest, alcohol breath, scratchy clothes, bad jokes...let’s celebrate the holidays!

It all sounds like such fun! Finally, a night where you will all be together and spending holiday time with good friends and/or family. Just when you have begun to unwind and relax, you hear your child having a severe meltdown. Embarrassed and upset, you make an attempt to calm the situation and find your child becoming even more upset and incoherent. Not knowing how to

resolve the situation, you gather up your things and head home with a headache, feeling angry, depressed, ripped off. You start to wonder why your child “has to” ruin your chance to relax, unwind, and be with people you care about. As the resentment and anger build, you slowly remember how excited your child was to be able to come to this event and how eager s/he was to be able to spend time with other familiar kids. Through your anger and disappointment, you realize that your child’s behaviour is the only way you can peek into his or her mind and find out what is going on. While you may not have the time or the energy to delve into this now and try to figure out what happened, you come to the quiet and

Full Day WorkshopMonday  Jan 23

Vancouver, BCregister at:

http://marclandryjan23.eventbrite.com

Hey! My Brain Doesn’t Work That Way!

Understanding Sensory Processing

Promoting Self-RegulationSupporting Stress

Management

more detailsI am looking to hire someone to work for me on the workshop date, bringing break refreshments, making coffee and tea, setting up, doing registration. E-mail if interested. vanmarc98@yahoo.ca Your child might want to join you!

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Events

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Adults were invented to keep k ids safe !

important. Prepare -it is better to visit a place the kids have not been to when there are few people there and the visit will be short. For several days in advance, talk about the familiar location and enjoyable experiences the child has had there.

Keep it PredictableMake sure your sensory sensitive child knows the house will be different than they are used to. Will there be a giant tree in the middle of the living room? Lights outside and inside? Lots of decorations? Review the list of adults and children that will be there. Do not think that because you think something will be trivial that your child will be able to handle it.

Keep it Calm!Very calmly explain to your child that something will be wrong or out of place, or that someone will say something upsetting. Say in a very calm voice that “that’s OK”. Be honest and don’t pretend to know everything, but be sure to show that you can stay calm and that surprises will “be OK” Talk like you are a social story. Inspire confidence and remind the child that there are options and choices in case something goes wrong.

Bring SuppliesHelp the child plan and pack a little backpack of goodies. Inventory the list and leave it home if it will be a disaster to lose or break or if the adult can not be sure “it” is in the bag when you leave. Bring things the child can fidget with, touch and feel, look at, and create with. If there is something that can be used

Safe House !The apple never falls that far from the tree

humbling realization that your child would have liked for this night to be a success and that s/he did not do this just to push you over the proverbial edge. As you drive home, you may realize that you had a really busy week leading up to this night. If you had actually stopped to think about it, you probably could have guessed that there would be some sensory issues and challenges. You realize that if you had thought about this in advance, you might have prepared in a way that would have resulted in a more pleasant and enjoyable night for all, or at least one that did not end with everyone feeling bad.

It’s true that we tend not to take the same care in preparing for social events that we perceive as being positive. The truth is that when we are going some place to party and relax, we should be able to have a low

Visit the www.fdmt.ca online store for great developmental and sensory items!

They have mesmerizing sand timers and smooth and sparkly weighted frogs!

And lots more!

Remember, open ended sensory interaction is healthier for the brain than ‘win-lose’ and ‘follow the rules’ play.

And sensory calming is sensory calming.

stress level and be calm and relaxed. There are many people, however, for whom socializing is very stressful, as is engaging in any type of n o v e l o r u n s t r u c t u r e d activity. When there are significant sensory issues, there are bound to be stressors and challenges t h a t g o b e y o n d t h e expected. So, let’s put on the sensory lenses and think about ways that we can help children to prepare for the holidays.

Calendar & ScheduleWhen your kids can understand it, use lists and a calendar. Have a plain calendar and review it at dinnertime. “Next week we are going to...”“Tomorrow we are going to...” Let the child mark off the days and see the passage of time.

Keep it Familiar Make sure your child knows where you are going. Make it a point to show pictures of past events at the same house/location. Do not assume that you can take your child to a place s/he has never been and it will go smoothly. Rehearsal and familiarity are very

Buy Safe ToysUse Common Sense! Avoid soft plastics, choke-ables, and bright paints from China. Look for toys that meet european standards.For more information on finding safe toys, http://www.uspirg.org/issues/toy-safety

http://www.safekid.org/toy.htm

http://www.healthycanadians.gc.ca/init/kids-enfants/toy-jouets/index-eng.php

Adults were invented to keep k ids safe !

Safe House ! You are the author of your own story, don’t let your little characters take over

to block out the world, bring it along. Examples might be play-doh, iPod or talking book and ear phones, a DVD player, bey blades.

Scope out the Venue TogetherLook around and help your child find the kid friendly zone, the chaotic adult zone, the go wild zone, the fresh air zone, and the quiet (sensory reduction) zone. When a child is familiar with the environment, self regulation can be more automatic. The child can feel safe enough to leave a chaotic environment and find some fresh air or a quiet place.

Sensory Reduction ZoneIdentify a nice calm spot and spend 5 minutes with your child there looking at a book and snuggling with a blanket. It might be a quiet spot in a bedroom, pantry, basement, stairway. Some smaller areas feel like a cocoon and are very calming, while others are too confining. Snuggling up with some coats and blankets in the corner of a room also feels like a snug cocoon to some. Being able to hear the adults with muffled voices is more comforting to some kids than silence. The more you know your child’s sensory profile the more intuitive your ideas will be.

Allow & Encourage Check-InsHave the child seek you out every now and then. Hold him/her in your lap for a while and give calming warmth, pressure, familiar feel and smell. Give praise and positive regard. Soon, your child will feel grounded, safe, and calm again and will probably trot off.

Movement OpportunitiesKids will need to move around, feel uncrowded, and get some fresh air. In advance, figure out where this can happen. Either allow some freedom with this or initiate a movement break when you start to see some deterioration or escalation.

Be the AdultRealize that this night is NOT all about you. You gave up your life when you had kids, remember? When your child seems agitated or comes to you in a bad mood, stop the resentment and thoughts of self, and remind yourself that you are very lucky to be here and that your child is handling it as best as s/he can. Take a deep breath and make it better.

End on a Positive NoteTry to leave when everyone is still in control and somewhat calm. It may be worth it to wait out a bad spell or to leave a little early. Having a somewhat positive ending can reduce the chances of starting with a full load of stress hormones the next time around. It’s a great idea to have a special treat in your pocket that you can use to add a positive note before saying good bye. And do not stress out if the child can not give out 25 personal good byes.

Praise and RewardEven if the event was a challenge, find something to praise and reinforce. Maybe the child sat on aunt Mathilda’s lap or tasted gramma’s “treat”. Maybe the child was kind for a brief moment to the cat or the baby. Maybe the child came to you for calming or for help. There is something you can praise, and this will affect how the memory is rated and stored. Trying to remember some positive qualities will lead to less stress hormones and more positive neuropeptides in similar situations in the future.

Enjoy Your Holidays!Recognize the positive for yourself! Stop dwelling on what didn’t go well and cut some slack for yourself as you would for others. Do not judge or berate yourself, and know that those who care about you know that you are a good, caring parent. Do not ponder what others may think and drop the self criticism that is so common with the holidays. We all have our challenges and no one is perfect. Try to re-play a few positives and you will find it will be easier for you to be more positive next time around!

NEXT MONTHI GO BACK TO CAUSING

TROUBLE !

I will provide some tips to build your advocacy skills

What is juniour chewing?Many house plants and holiday decorations are poisonous, including the poinsettia, jerusalem cherry, holly, horse chestnuts, and mistletoe.Many philodendrons, hemlock, and ivy are also poisonous.www.safekid.org/plants.htm

www.cbif.gc.ca/pls/pp/poison

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poisonous_plants