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The second to last issue to hit the stands before mid-semester break. We talk zombies, beards, music, cooking, art, news and all the regular tid-bits!

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: debate 06, 2013

Issue 06 | APRIL 2013www.ausm.org.nz

Page 2: debate 06, 2013

Elegant fashion and shoes...What more could a girl ask for?

Indulge in the delicious tastes of Spice of India

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debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

disclaimer Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

receptionCity CampusLevel 2, WC Building 921 9805 Mon-Thurs: 9am-5pmFri: 9am-4pm

North Shore CampusLevel 2, AS Building 921 9949 Mon-Fri: 11am-1pm

Manukau CampusMB107 921 9999 ext 6672Mon-Thurs: 9am-3.30pm

governance & leadershipKizito EssumanAuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 [email protected]

managementSue HigginsGeneral Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 [email protected]

advocacyNick BuckbyLiaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 [email protected]

marketingKate LinSales and Marketing Co-ordinator921 9999 ext [email protected]

eventsCarl EwenStudent Life Manager921 9999 ext [email protected]

mediaMatthew CattinPublications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 [email protected]

vesbarZane ChaseVesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 [email protected]

volunteers & clubsNathan BrombergVolunteers Coordinator921 9999 ext [email protected]

www.ausm.org.nz

DIRectoRy Issue 06 | APRIL 2013

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

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5editorial

6article: Facial Fuzz

8artist of the week: Amy Mansfield

11article: My First Beard

12sports: Warriors Break Drought

13music: Prez Sez

AuSM Updates14

news16

Social Media Highlights17

Lovenotes & Hatemail

18article: I Don't.

19A Memorandum

Auckland's Got It Going On20

Kieran's Crackpot Cooking21

article: Fooling Facebook

22:article: East Africa's Challenged City

24article: Sound City - Recorded In History

25article: The Humble Civilian

26Undead Armageddon

28article: Apocalypse Z

30Scrump Lyfe

32reviews

coverIllustration by Nicole Koch

editor Matthew Cattin [email protected]

sub editor Nigel Moffiet

designer Ramina Rai

contributorsCameron Carpenter | Carl Ewen | Catherine Baker | Hazel Buckingham | Jamie Barnes | Jaimee Lupton | Kieran Bennett | Louis Houlbrooke | Mike Ross | Natalie Cyra | Nigel Moffiet | Rachel Peters| Scott Yeoman | Shilo Kino | Zach Large

illustration & photographyJennifer Choat | Matthew Cattin | Nicole Koch | Ramina Rai

advertising contact Kate Lin [email protected]

printer PMP Print Ltd.

publisherAuSMall rights reserved

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3www.ausm.org.nz

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Hello readers,

Much to my delight, there emerged a serendipitous trend in debate this week – zombies. By far the best monster, they’re the only ghouls without an extensive list of weaknesses. Vampires came, they sparkled, and they disappeared the day Kristen cheated on Robert and a little piece of my heart died. But despite the fact Twilight was the wooden stake in their coffin; you can’t blame it entirely for turning vampires into pussies. Traditional vampires can’t deal with crosses, running water, their reflection, garlic, high school and to top it off, they can’t come into your home unless you invite them in. So really not that bad then… Witches can be dealt to with a cheeky avada kedavra, mummies unravel when you step on their bandages and werewolves are only bad guys once a month. Zombies on the other hand have no Achilles heel – they’re 100 per cent badass all the time. They don’t sleep, they have no fear, they travel in hordes and they eat meat. Your meat. Of course you can stop them by destroying the brain but since this would seriously hinder just about anybody, well, I feel it counts itself out.

Since the millennium, zombies have come back in a big way, particularly in the last two or three years. The media has literally exploded with zombie culture like a swollen, flesh-munching

head. You only need to turn on the television or go to the cinema to see how far the virus has spread. AMC’s zombie drama The Walking Dead is the most watched show in cable TV history. That’s an amazing statistic considering how many demographics exploding heads must alienate. And just look at the last 10 years in film – zombies are defying genres willy nilly. You’ve got romance, comedy, sci-fi, war and western zombie hybrid films forcing their way into mainstream cinema. But why? What is it about the living dead that is so contagious? Interestingly enough, many scholars have dedicated research to the topic and come up with some interesting theories.

In 1968, zombie king George A. Romero released Dawn of the Dead, perhaps the most iconic film of the undead genre. The story, set almost entirely in a shopping mall, drew heavily on the themes of commercialisation and consumerism. The film’s zombies, due to ‘muscle memory’, congregated on the mall where they ambled around aimlessly through the shops– a perfect metaphor for the first world’s possession obsession. The survivors meanwhile lived the high life plundering anything they want from shops while the world crumbled until eventually, the lifestyle drove them mad. Since the film’s release, scholars and students alike have written countless essays on consumerism and zombies –

an interesting topic you ought to check out. Furthermore, according to studies there is a direct link between zombie culture and employment rates. When employment is down, zombie culture goes up; suggesting there is more to the zombie zeitgeist than meets the eye. Researchers have considered zombies metaphorically represent in fiction the way people feel trapped and powerless within the capitalist system. Heavy.

Other speculations suggest that zombies represent the most relevant fears of a particular time in society. Nuclear experimentation, chemicals, pandemic viruses, environmental disaster and supernatural intervention have all been the cause of zombie plagues in modern pop culture history. Coincidence? Or an artistic expression of the dangers facing humankind at a point in time? You decide.

At the end of the day though, whatever the reasons zombies are in, just be thankful sparkly vampires with emotional issues are out. Enjoy your week!

Matthew

eDItoRIAL

by Matthew Cattin

5www.ausm.org.nz

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ARtIcLe: Facial Fuzz

The full beard.A leg opener on all occasions, the full beard belongs to the alpha male of the pack and oozes dominance, power and sex appeal. Jack Passion, beard enthusiast and epitome of man, says the full beard is the male equivalent of child bearing hips on beardless folk (also known as women). In the presence of a full-bearded alpha male, all other men feel diminished in both body and soul. Like a man’s body however, the full beard needs to be kept in shape in order to perform at its full potential. It should appear solid and impenetrable for, to quote Arthur Miller, no crack in a fortress may be accounted small. Good for – Softening blows to the face during combat, storing food for the win-ter, intimidation, mansulation. Notable appearances – Gandalf, Zach Galifianakis, ZZ Top.

“When two bearded men cross paths, the man with the larger beard has right of way.”

STubble.Sculpted and maintained stubble seems to be the in thing right now, but all it really says about a man is doubt. Could a trimmed lawn stand up to a mighty forest? Could a man-scaped mite stand up to a fully-fledged curly dragon? I think not. Most commonly worn by the white-collar worker in an attempt to look relaxed at the Christmas social, the sculpted stub screams vanity and ego.

Good for – Stubble rash, scratching the missus, casual work functions. Notable appearances – George Clooney, Sawyer from Lost, Jason Statham.

“On a long enough timeline, all men have bearded. Shaving is but punctuation.”

MOuSTache.An aborted beard, the moustache is akin to Pi on his raft after his family drowns – stranded in a barren and hopeless ocean of hairless skin. Of course the moustache is redeemable if it sprouts from a man who means business, but sadly, the moustache has come of late into the cruel possession of the hipster who uses it for ‘alternative’ needs. If pulled off properly however, moustaches have potential to be quite mansome. Good for – Catching frothy milk, hip-sters, dictators.Notable appearances – Magnum PI, Ron Burgundy, Freddie Mercury.

“he that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man,” – William Shakespeare.

THE YAYS AND NAYS OF MANSCAPING.

FACIAL FUZZFACIAL FUZZFACIAL FUZZ

6 www.ausm.org.nz

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flavOur Saver (AKA THE SOul PATCH Or THE TICKlEr).No. Just no. To shave everything but the tiny spot beneath the lower lip is a criminal offense in the bearded community. It is not a beard, it is not a moustache, it is a spot of filth that should be scraped off immediately.Good for – Seedy date rapists, bald Latino drug lords, being forever alone.Notable appearances – Howie Mandel, Cypher in The Matrix, Billy Ray Cyrus.

“Shaving says a lot about a man, like “I’m not one.”

chIn STrap.The chin strap is the disgusting bi-product of a man who intends to look masculine enough to sprout some facial hair but also smooth enough to pull gerbils who don’t know any better. Chin Strappers can often be found with gel-spiked hair, dog tags and foundation. Like hyenas, they travel in packs, feeding off one another’s doucheyness, drinking RTD’s and popping their collars in an attempt to find a drunk enough mate. Avoid. Good for – turning off women, compensating for lacking masculinity, attracting douches. Notable appearances – None.

“Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don’t mind going through a little bush to get there,” – Minnie pearl.

SIde burnS.Sideburns are for those men who would enjoy the comforting embrace of a full beard but are too self-conscious or whipped by their partners to commit to the glorious challenge. Which is a shame really – to be so close and yet remain so far… The thicker the burns and the closer they are to meeting in the middle, the mightier the man. Good for – amateur beard grow-ers, truck drivers, metal heads. Notable appearances – Elvis, Wolverine, John Lennon.

“at the top of every beard grows a man.”

The pre-pubeScenT faIlure Of a MOuSTache.Get it waxed or get your sister to help shave it off and try again when you grow some balls. Good for – testing gag reflexes, attracting laughs during Mo-vember. Notable appearances – None.

“Without a beard, you’re the same as every other woman and child.”

by Matthew Cattin

FACIAL FUZZFACIAL FUZZFACIAL FUZZ

7www.ausm.org.nz

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ARtIst of the week

Artist of the week: AMY MANSFIELDAmy Mansfield is a young artist currently studying towards a certificate in arts and crafts and Hungry Creek. Using mostly acrylics, pencil and pen, she finds the beauty in the darker sides of human nature and expresses it on paper.

“Most of my paintings stem from an interest in philosophy and psychology. I'm inspired by the subconscious, dreams, mass manipula-tion through advertising and social norms, drug use and mental disorders. Anything to do with the mind seems to catch my attention. I read a lot and watch interviews and documentaries. Hunter S Thompson and Dostoyevsky as well as Nietzsche are big influences,” she says.

Amy plans to pursue painting to see where it takes her and says if she continues to do what she loves and works hard, she might be able to make a living off of it. “It’s an automatic thing for me, I can't help it. It's therapeutic and challenging and rewarding all in one. There's nothing else I’d rather do.”

8 www.ausm.org.nz

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ARtIst of the week

9www.ausm.org.nz

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Page 11: debate 06, 2013

After messily coming out of a long-term relationship this summer, I was ready for a change. I was ready to let myself go, to embrace newly-acquired freedom, to grow wise whilst reflecting on the nature of existence in the isolation of small-town Northland and single life. What better way to celebrate this period of personal development than to grow my first full beard?

In the beginning I didn’t take it very seriously. I told myself that I might shave it off any day, that I’d soon get sick of it. But as my bristles grew to form a fully-fledged beard, I found myself becom-ing attached to this new growth. I came to feel that it was a symbol of my newfound independence and willingness to embrace a new stage of life. It also made me look older, which appealed to me as someone who has always lived as the youngest sibling, the young-est in my school year and the youngest of my current mates. It even worked to quash insecurities about my masculinity - guys who saw my beard, unable to grow their own, would praise it, openly impressed, and my ego would swell in response. I was the alpha male, the noble savage, a Poseidonic figure in a sea of bare chins and naked jaws.

Inevitably, there were naysayers. Girls, mainly. They would state their dislike of facial hair in general, or lament the days when my beard was “short and nice”. People would demand me to remove it, or even threaten to cut it off whilst I was sleeping. But I didn’t let the opinions of girls faze me; after all, these days I’m a strong independent white boy who don’t need no woman.

The strange thing is, the more criticisms I received, the more deter-mined I became to keep the beard. I became defiant. By what right did other people object to my beard-growing? Is it not my body, my right? I began to see facial hair as a point of major political and sociological interest. I was often asked why I’d grown my beard, and I’d refuse to answer - surely the onus of explanation must lie with He-Who-Shaves, the person who wakes up every morning and chooses to pick up a razor in order to commit facial castra-tion? Suddenly I found myself empathizing with the feminists who choose to grow their leg hair, in defiance of arbitrary and unnatural societal expectations. I’d found my inner naturalist, my inner mas-culist, and even as I sit here freshly-shaven, it’s changed the way I look at beards and shaving habits.

Yes, that’s right, I am no longer bearded. In the end it seems that principle lost out to social pressure and expediency of the mo-ment. For all my determination to ignore other people’s opinions, it became increasingly difficult to disregard the fact that most girls just don’t like beards. And perhaps more crucially, as I began my semester at university, I was struck by the same feeling I encoun-tered at the beginning of the year – the simple thirst for another change, for a new start. But I’ll still aim to congratulate guys who grow beards and high-five girls with hairy armpits. We ought not to let the personal choices of others concern us to such a degree that we demand they change their bodies. No-one should be made to feel ashamed of what nature has given them. Grow ya beards, boys.

MY FIRST BEARD(An Unexpectedly Political Journey)

11www.ausm.org.nz

ARtIcLe: My First Beard

by Louis Houlbrooke

Page 12: debate 06, 2013

What has happened in the last 268 days? The Olympics were held, Barack Obama won the election, Gangnam style went viral, Hurri-cane Sandy hit, Felix Baumgartner jumped from outer space, and the world was supposed to end, but didn’t.

When you put it that way, it’s an awfully long time. So you can imag-ine the relief for the New Zealand Warriors when they finally ended their 268-day drought on Easter Monday, narrowly defeating the North Queensland Cowboys. Even a week is a long time to wait after losing, but 268 days? That’s absolute torture for players, coaches, management, and most importantly, the fans.

Sure, that includes five months in the off-season, but we have to look back to the first week of July last year to see the last Warrior win, over the Gold Coast Titans. That was so long ago I had to look up highlights to remember what even happened in that match (They came back from 14-4 down thanks to a Konrad Hurrell hat trick, if you were wondering).

Anyway, their third coach in 268 days, Matt Elliot, finally got them a win on Monday night. But it also took a timely return to form from the freakish Shaun Johnson to help them across the line, and also a below average performance from the Cowboys, but nonetheless they got the job done.

They will have little time to rest because the undefeated South Syd-ney Rabbitohs are up next, at Mt Smart on Sunday afternoon. The bunnies may be 4-0 but they are due a loss, and this is the kind of game that could sneak up on them. This will give us a true indication of what kind of Warriors team we’re dealing with in 2013.

If they can steal a win on Sunday, they will travel to face the lowly Canberra Raiders the week after with a chance to break even on their season, and may even be on the edge of the top eight. After that, they

travel to Melbourne to face the table-topping Storm, a match the Warriors have attacked fearlessly in recent seasons, with good suc-cess. All going to plan, the 268-day drought will be long forgotten.

But all that rapidly changes if the Warriors lose this weekend. The trip to Canberra suddenly seems daunting and becomes a “must-win” even as early as round six. If they lose that then Melbourne will smell blood in the water. They may struggle with the Warriors tradition-ally, but only when the Warriors are filled with self-belief. This is something they haven’t had an abundance of in the last year, if they leave that at home they can forget about a win in Melbourne, things could get embarrassing. Nobody wants to be one win and five losses, especially a team prone to having their confidence sapped.

Yes, 268 days is a long time to have a monkey on your back, but the monkey is finally gone, it is time to start fresh. Even the three losses this year could soon seem insignificant, they have opened the season with three losses in a row before, the same season they made the grand final. Even Melbourne lost six in a row last year, and won the premiership, which proves anything can happen, especially with the talent the Warriors have at their disposal.

So Sundays game will have more bearing on their season than a lot of other games this year, it may only be round five but they may be at the cross roads for their season already. The NRL season is long and tough; round five matches rarely have a serious effect on a team’s season, but you get the feeling this one does.

Whatever happens down the track can be traced back to this match with the Bunnies. It could be the start of something great, or the start of something real ugly. And if it doesn’t go to plan and it all goes pear shaped once more, for the fans’ sake lets just hope they don’t hit a losing streak anywhere near 268 days.

Warriors Break the DroughtBut can they make it rain?

By Zach Large

12 www.ausm.org.nz

sPoRts: Warriors break the drought

Page 13: debate 06, 2013

Saving with Mates RatesAuSM has hooked you up with heaps of new sweet deals on the AuSM Mates Rates. Check it out on our website now! www.ausm.org.nz

Take a breakThe AuSM lodge still has some sweet dates available over the mid-semester break! Why not get your mates together and take a road trip to National Park. You can hire the AuSM lodge from $130 and it sleeps 12 – that’s less than $11 per per-son! Find out more or book now at www.ausm.org.nz

Updates

Drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD.

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1.2.3.4.5.

Name:Email:Campus:

13www.ausm.org.nz

Hi debate readers,

I hope you all had a fantastic Easter break last week. We are already approaching the middle of the semester and from experience as well as speaking to some students on campus, the assignments and mid-semester tests have started kicking in already. Cram as much as you can for the exams and assign-ments but when your willpower is drained, you must know that it is time to restore it by recharging your bodies for rest, food or some other physical distrac-tion that takes you away from whatever is burning you out so take a break. Watch some TV, have a candy bar, goof off, tune out for a bit and come back to the task at hand when you are feeling better.

I will be meeting the Vice Chancellor, Derek Mc-Cormack soon to discuss student matters and the

welfare of students in general. Some of the issues I will be raising are the feedback from students on the use of the new Sir Paul Reeves Building and ICT on campus. If you have any concerns about the delivery of services and facilities on campus or academic related issues please feel free to contact me. I will also be catching up with the Auckland local politicians including the Auckland Mayor, Len Brown to discuss relevant tertiary education issues in the region including accommodation for the growing student population in the region, student traffic and transport needs within the Auckland region.

A big thank you to you all who helped with the Beads of Courage Day Street Appeal Collection Day on Friday 22nd March and Saturday 23rd March 2013. AuSM helped out with this event as part of our com-munity engagement programme. It was such a great time working with other AuSM Exec members and other student volunteers. Every cent that was collected is going to the foundation to help it provide support to children with

cancer, their families and the health professionals who care for them. If you are interested in doing more voluntary work then you are better off with the ‘A –Team’ of AuSM which is our team of volunteers. Please contact the AuSM office for more details on the AuSM A-Team if you are keen to be part of.

The mid-semester break is not too far from here and so is the UniGames 2013 which is to be held in Otago University, Dunedin from 22 – 24 April 2013. I would like to wish the AUT UniGames team (Titans) all the best for the com-petition in Otago. We have an excellent team with a lot of talented sportsmen and women so we are expecting to bring home the ‘University Shield’ and heaps of gold medals. I hope to see a number of you around at the different sporting events and of course off the pitch times to chill out! Go the Mighty AUT Titans!

Till next time, have a lovely week!Your prez

Kizito

PREZ SEZ

PRez sez

Page 14: debate 06, 2013

By Natalie Cyra

THrEE gUYS AND A rICkSHAw

Whether it’s the 40-hour famine, buying a daffodil, or indulging in a Cadbury Caramello bar from cute school kids, most of us will support a charity fundraiser.

This week, AUT staff member Andy McLean embarks on a different, and slightly more adventurous way of giving back to charities in need.

Andy, 30, with two mates Stephan Brown and Hamish Dobbie, will form ‘Team Kupe’ and depart Auckland Airport, en route to India, to conquer what is known as the ‘Rickshaw Run’.

As Andy describes it: “Imagine a rally where there is no route. Where there are no maps… it’s just three guys in a rickshaw ready to conquer the world, or even just the roads from Kochi to Shillong.”

Long story short, they’re attempting to travel the width of India, some 3500kms, with quite basically, the food and clothes on their back, and a rickshaw, in just over two weeks.

The main struggle on the trip will be, well, the trip.

A rickshaw is basically a glorified lawnmower, and is by no means designed for off-roading, with an engine size of just 145 CC.

“It will probably give us a good chance to mingle with the locals on the side of the road when we break down,” Andy says.

So far, the team has raised around $3100 for the Cool Earth and UNICEF charities.

“We know that travelling is a privilege, and that the poverty we will see in India is a reminder of how fortunate we are to be on the road,” he says. The trip will see Team Kupe, who have been friends since university, with no back up plan if (or more accurately when) they break down.

But Andy seems pretty laid back about the whole thing.

Perhaps it’s because he has taught in 12 foreign countries in the last five years, or the fact his teammates have careers in engineering and navigation.

But it’s probably because he knows there’s no turning back now.

“We have no idea where we are staying, so hopefully we can get our hands on an Indian simcard or something similar,” he says.

With more than 1.2 billion people living in India, at least they will have no trouble

finding help when they need it.

“The only problem is Indian people have real trouble saying no. They’re so helpful all the time. So with huge crowds of people, here’s hoping we can find the right people to help us.”

Andy insists it will be a memorable trip. It’s a chance to see India in its full glory, as well as making sure they put something back into the community at the same time.

The Cool Earth charity is the official charity of the Rickshaw Run, designed to save the world’s rainforests one acre at a time.

“We also wanted to support UNICEF as it works both in India and New Zealand, and what impresses us about UNICEF is their ability to make the money donated work, leveraging $10 off every $1 dollar donated.”

As the trip beckons, the nerves are starting to kick in. “We met up with some previous participants in the Rickshaw Run a few days ago. “Who’s got their rabies shots?” they enquired. “Ah j-j-just me,” I nervously stuttered, before finally squeaking, “why?”

You’ll have to find out. Good luck Andy!

Image source: team

kupe.com

14 www.ausm.org.nz

NIfty News

Page 15: debate 06, 2013

NIfty News

In a recent announcement Studylink has said that it will be re-vamping its student loan and allowance processing procedures, saying that it feels that Studylink is simply far too easy to use. It then went on to say that it would, per customer requests, attempt to process as few loans and allowance requests as possible in the coming year.

There had been complaints in the first few weeks of the university semester that Studylink had simply been far too efficient and that applications had been approved too quickly. AUT student Mary Hansworth said to our reporter that “it was super inconvenient having my loan approved straight away. I’m really used to months of stress and worry, so if that came back it’d be great”. Auckland University also responded in typical fashion, gathering in a large angry mob, walking down the street and bringing about no

great change. Universities themselves had also been thrown into chaos with students fees coming in on time and warehouses of fee request letters going unused. Studylink at the time ignored all protests to its efficiency and continued being quick, useful and polite to all its callers. This also threw many students into disarray, with some believing that they had in fact called entirely the wrong place.

Studylink is now making a concentrated effort to be incredibly inefficient and slow. Head of Studylink, Susan Komsala said in a press release that “our system was simply too fast and that upset people. We will now take the proper steps to be as shit as humanly possible”. Miss Komsala then began to outline the steps that Studylink would be taking; mentioning that calls to their service would be answered by automated voices with thick Albanian accents. She went to continue before realising

that the company overhaul was already in effect and demanded that reporters go through their website. When reporters logged on however, Miss Komsala denied having ever met any of the reporters and said that she would send an ‘interview contract’ through the mail. Protests that the contract had already been signed were met with cold, hollow laughter. In addition to the customer service upgrades, the website has also been overhauled with a new social networking feature becoming mandatory. ‘Studylinker’ is a service in which students can create profiles based on their applications and study history and share photos and banal status updates with each other. Studylink has said that ‘Studylinker’ is the recommended channel for applying for student loans even though “frankly, it isn’t any better. It’s more for our own amusement”.

By Kieran Bennett

Studylink Feels System Is Too Simple And Efficient

the focus is on “beauty with a mission”.

Ella believes the negative stigma around beauty pageants in New Zealand is because of ignorance and “lack of educa-tion”.

“New Zealanders don’t have a clue about what beauty pag-eants really involve,” she says.Ella, herself admits at first being naive as to what Miss World New Zealand and ‘beauty with a mission’ was all about.

“I had a meeting with the directors and realised what it was all about as opposed to what I perceived a beauty pageant involved. I realised it was something I wanted to be a part of.

“The pageant is all about giving and helping others in the community. My personal beauty with a mission project is fundraising for Ronald McDonald House Auckland,” she says.

The 20-year old student has

dedicated every Saturday for the past five months to the pageant. She found her big-gest obstacle to be her lack of confidence.

“We are constantly in front of an audience – other girls, our sponsors and the directors of the competition dancing, walk-ing and talking so you have to be confident. For me that is something I have always strug-gled with.”

Hannah Carson, a 2012 Miss World New Zealand contest-ant, has helped Ella with her confidence, mentoring her throughout her journey.“I've enjoyed watching Ella become a confident young woman that is capable of anything.

“She is my friend so I have pushed her extra hard with her practice and training. I know she can do it and sometimes she needed that little extra push,” says Hannah.Ella has learnt time manage-ment is key throughout the competition in order to meet all her obligations.

“We had to seek out our own sponsorships and organise a successful charity event as well as keeping up with rehearsals every week.

“I’ve found it hard to juggle university and my part time job as a nanny on top of Miss World and it’s something I’ve worked really hard at.”Ella strongly believes that a lot more than the crown can be taken away from her time as a beauty contestant.

“I often have one of the girls, Rachel from Wellington, stay with me in the weekend and she has become a very good friend of mine.

“Everyone is in it to gain some-thing, not necessarily just to gain the crown,” says Ella.The final night and crowning will be held on Saturday April 27 at Waitakere Trust Stadium at 6.30pm.

If you wish to vote for Ella, please visit www.facebook.com/ellalangsford2013.

By Jaimee Lupton

AUT Beauty says Pageant Critics are Wrong

Beauty pageants often attract a nega-tive stigma, but one contestant claims that this should not be the case.

Ella Langsford, a business student at AUT, is competing in this year’s Miss World New Zealand pageant where

15www.ausm.org.nz

NIfty News

Page 16: debate 06, 2013

socIAL MeDIA hIGhLIGhts

#social #media

#highlights

Hey kids! It’s been a few weeks since our last Social Media Highlights so we are packed with goodies from the cyber uni-verse relating to all things weird, wonderful and sad. One of the biggies over the past week was the news that star cricketer Jesse Ryder was in critical condition after being severely beaten outside a bar, or was that a McDonald’s? And where the hell were his mates? The media were all over this story with contradicting details and inaccurate witnesses. The good news is Jesse seems to be making a good recovery. All the best Jesse, get back to smacking 6’s and fingers crossed you stay out of the headlines – unless it’s on the sporting pages.

dominic harvey @domharvey “The more I hear about the Jesse Ryder attack, the more infuriated I become. 4-on-1 & ground-kicking? Disgusting & heartbreaking.”

Jeremy elwood @Jeremyelwood “Sorry, media, but exactly where Jesse Ryder was attacked isn't the main point of the story, IMO”

dave armstrong@malosilima Dear NZ Herald. If Jesse Ryder was attacked at a takeway outlet, please don't caption it a 'bar brawl'.

blacKcapS@blacKcapS "I just want to let everyone know that I'm OK" - a message for fans from @DijaRyder

Of course we had a wee break over Easter and I’m guessing you had one too many sugary treats you naughty little devils – not newly elected Pope Francis however.

@pontifex Pope Francis “Accept the risen Jesus into your life. Even if you have been far away, take a small step towards him: he awaits you with open arms.”

Okay Francis, I’ll have a few more chocolate bunnies then I’ll think about it.

On another note, what the hell should we call NZ’s two islands? Of course we call them the North Island and South Is-land being pragmatic Kiwis. What’s wrong with that? There’s the Maori names too, Te Ika-a-Maui (north) and Te Waipou-namu (south). Yet none of these are formalised apparently so the New Zealand Geographic Board are open to public consid-erations. How silly of them. Here are some examples that have come through on Twitter under the trending topic #nzislands:Van and Munter, Yeah and Nah, Hokey and Pokey, Warner Bros' Original Mordor and Sky City Presents Hobbiton, Ka and Pai, Tahi and Rua…..and so on. Lastly, we enter April. I know, time flies, right!? But April is becoming a bit more of a tricky month as April Fools’ jokes are made easier on the internet.

here are the biggest and the best:YouTube announced it was “finally time to pick a winner” as they released a video saying the website was no longer accept-ing “entries” and would basically be shutting down once they pick a winner by 2023. A team of 30,000 would review every video before picking a winner.

Shiver me timbers! Google maps introduced a treasure map mode and the street view became a telescope after claim-ing they discovered long lost pirate maps. Hotelscan.com offered curious and brave travellers packages to completely bullshit destinations – Atlantis, Silent Hill, Wonderland anyone?

And West Jet “eases restrictions of pets in the cabin” allowing for any pets in the cabin as long as they meet the size requirements.

16 www.ausm.org.nz

socIAL MeDIA hGhLIGhts

by Nigel Moffiet

Page 17: debate 06, 2013

lovenotes & hatemail

Dear editor Marxist opinions should never be acknowledged let alone pub-lished. Their opinions are stupid and irrelevant.

Yours sincerely,A smug libertarian.

ps. john said you give away goodies :)

Dear uninformed libertarian,

Thank you for your carefully considered, deeply researched, and well thought out contributions to political debate. I found your liberal use of the word "stupid" to be highly enlightened. However, I should like to draw your attention to a number of trends in society which may debase your views.

Firstly, material wealth (which as you will know is of primary concern in a free market economy) has already become a secondary goal to knowledge acquisition. See "information age".

Secondly, free markets which are unregulated, or 'regulated' by less-than-impartial politicians, have resulted in a number of troubling economic events in recent history. See "the Great Recession".

Finally, haven't you noticed how *well* ACT have been doing in recent elections? I mean, golly-gosh, a whole seat! Congratulations, you guys must be so proud to equal Mana in numbers! See "John Banks is a wanker".

Sadly, I have neither the time nor the space in this letter to debunk your detailed retort any further. I have other engagements that require my attention, such as stealing from the poor and ruining the economy. Ah! No wait, that's for the capitalists to do. My mistake.

Love,

Marxist Supreme

Hi debate,

Three things. Where is all the free stuff? Where is spot the difference? And why are the captions so shit? Seri-ously.

Person-who-USED-to-spot-the-differences.

LoveNotes & hAteMAIL

Hi,

Nothing in life is free, it’s gone forever and because you haven’t contributed anything funnier.

Ed.

Has north korea actually declared war of everyone ? I can’t find it newhere online. :(Shona

Hi Shona,

No. Google satire.

Ed

Thanks to those that wrote in this week!If you would like to send in a lovenote or hate-

mail to the editor, email [email protected]

17www.ausm.org.nz

Page 18: debate 06, 2013

AthLete PRofILe

Marriage.

*shudder*

A word that, if you’re a normal university student, should send you running for the hills. It’s the kind of stuff that’s up there with buying a house, making babies and planning for your retirement, it seems so long away. But this summer, Facebook was aplenty with wedding photos and engagement statuses. Sure, I come from a small town where it seems to be an achievement to make it out by 21 without getting married or pregnant, but as I got back to uni, there seemed to be a topic on every-one’s lips– wedding fever.

Now, I’m not saying getting married is a stupid idea. Sure, sign me up for a lifetime of staying in the kitchen and making a man eggs, running around doing his laundry, doing the housework and – oh, what’s that? Get back in the kitchen? Yes husband. If all that doesn’t have me quivering with happiness, at least there’s the freedom to go out and meet new guys every night, spend my money on whatever I like and doing whatever I want (without hav-ing to worry about whether my eggs are burning or not), right?

But everyone seems to want to get married. So maybe Douglas Adams was wrong. Maybe the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything isn’t 42. Maybe it’s ice sculptures, chocolate fountains and poofy white dresses.

But at least if Douglas Adams was right, we could all achieve the mean-ing to life without putting ourselves in a lifetime of debt. I mean how much money can 42 really cost? I can buy a ballpoint pen from The Warehouse for 99 cents and write it wherever I choose. Weddings on the other hand – well I was lucky enough to overhear a conversation the other day (and by overhear, I mean I tried to stand in the farthest

corner of the elevator as possible, but this voice travelled). A (cur-rently single) girl was planning her wedding to Mr. I-hope-he’s-loaded, and she was justifying that $80,000 on the big day wouldn’t be too much money.

Eighty-thousand-dollars. Let’s just take a moment with that. Eighty thousand dollars could be a deposit on a very fancy home and start pay-ing off your mortgage. $80,000 could take you and Mr. I-hope-he’s-loaded for a trip around the world – twice. $80,000 could buy a fancy car, a boat, or various other exciting things. But this girl wanted to blow it all in one day on ice sculptures that would probably melt before they even said their “I dos” (and with the way she was talking, the ice sculptures would probably last longer than the marriage).

So this got me intrigued. I mean I know weddings are expensive, but eighty grand seems a bit extreme. I went to our handy friend Mr. Google (not to be confused with Mr. I-hope-he’s-loaded) to find out just how much some people spend on weddings. He told me the aver-age wedding price is $30,000. In America, the wedding industry takes about $40 billion a year. Mind-blowing, considering that could probably pay off a small country’s debt, but I could deal with that. Af-ter all it is just a house deposit, ONE trip around the world, or a Hyundai versus a Jaguar.

However, that is on average. The most expensive wedding ever as the record currently states was in No-vember 2004 and cost $72 million. The wedding went on for five days, and included extravagances such as invitations sent out in a 20 page silver book, 100 different dishes prepared, a wine tab of $1.5 million and 1000 guests. I couldn’t even remember 1000 people’s names before I’d drunk $1.5 million worth of wine.

The worst thing however, is that usually the money spent on wed-dings is money that the couple just don’t have. What a way to start your beautiful journey together, by being thousands (or millions) of dollars in debt. Definitely not a way to cause arguments or put stress on the mar-riage. But don’t worry; you’ll have something to show for it a little bit further down the track – divorce papers.

If you want to (and I stress want to, it is NOT a requirement) commit yourself to someone for your entire life, why not do it in a subtle (cheap) way? I’m thinking on a beach, bare feet, with a friend ordained on the internet to marry you. A budget of about $200, which if you’re lucky, grandma might give you for Christ-mas.

However, if anyone wants to invite me to any of these ridiculous circus events, I’ll happily come and eat your food, drink your wine and help put you in thousands of dollars of debt for the rest of your life. And if you really are going to go all out, could you have a make-your-own-sundae bar at your reception?

After all, like my good friend Sheldon Cooper once said – 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness.

I d n't.Why marriage is overrated.

The worst thing however, is that usually the money

spent on weddings is money that the couple just don’t have. What a way to start your beautiful journey

together...

by Hazel Buckingham

18 www.ausm.org.nz

ARtIcLe: I Don't.

Page 19: debate 06, 2013

The condensation I've begun finding on my car windows each morning has me worried, AUT.

WORRIED I TELL YOU.

For not only do I have to use my windscreen wipers more often, it also means winter is coming (finally a Game of Thrones reference in my column! (and what great timing with season 3 beginning last week on Soho)).Just cause it's chilly is no excuse to not get silly - it rhymes so it must be true. Here are my picks for this week:

WedneSdaYArt & Music, Racket BarDoing something a little bit different is Racket Bar in Britomart. Art & Music is an early-evening affair, kicking off at 6pm every Wednesday night. The name says it all really - sit and have a beer/wine/vodka-nasty in the courtyard while watching the live creation of artwork and listening to sounds spun by the bro Art Heist and the bro-ette(?) Laura Lush. What a primo way to kick off your Wednesday night before heading down the road to the king of student clubnights, TNC at 1885.

ThurSdaYMusic & People, 1885Thursday nights are a toughy in the 09. No one seems to want to

go out. Perhaps that will all change with the launch of Music & People. It's an interesting new night where local musicians are invited to come take a seat on the 'couch' and spin tales about their success, their struggles, and of course, their songs. This week kicks off with Joseph & Maia in for a yarn, and the much loved Pikachunes will be playing his 'chunes' later in the evening if you're keen for a boogie. Choice.

SaTurdaYThe Garden Party, Britomart Country ClubThis, without a doubt, will be the place to be come Saturday. I'm not just saying that because I'm putting the gig on myself, oh no. I'm saying that because for the first time Auckland will see its own luxury daytime event on par with those in London and New York. Kicking off at 2pm and running till late, tickets include champagne on arrival and canapes for the afternoon. Australian DJs Cassian and Jonny Pow are flying over to spin some tunes, and Britomart Country Club's the perfect venue for it - outdoor vibes with the security of a roof. If this sounds like a bit of you, head to iTicket and sort yourself out.

For more info about this week's events as well as a fine variety of cat videos:

www.google.com

AUCkLAND'S gOT IT gOINg ONBy Mike Ross

A memorandumMemorandum [mem-uh-ran-duh m]-noun, pl. –dums, -da1. A short note designating something to be remembered, especially something to be done or acted upon in the future; reminder.

Always remember: Never be nice to your brother's mates – It’ll save you a lot of stress when you apply for a top job later in life

On this day in 1986, Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, California. Now I don’t know much about the local politics of Carmel, or even who ‘Dirty Harry’ was running against that year, but what I do know is that someone, somewhere, would have questioned the credibility of his appointment.

Why?

Well, for the same reason questions were raised when Arnie was elected Governor of California, or closer to home and possibly more relevant, when Dame Susan Devoy was made Race Relations Com-missioner last month.

It seems that no matter how much you deserve a job or how quali-fied you are for it - if you know people in high places, or worse, if you are quite well known yourself, then it is simply yet another case of cronyism.Cronyism – what a term.

I am sure there are many employment cases every year where crony-ism is indeed evident, in fact I am certain of it, but this doesn’t mean that we should shout this ridiculous term from the roof tops – or from behind a news desk – every time a link is discovered between an employee and a ‘top dog’. At least not without a proper investigation.

Ian Fletcher may have been the brother of one of John Key’s school mates, or the son of one of Mrs Key’s knitting pals, but the fact is, he was qualified for the managerial job he was placed in.

Ian Fletcher was a former diplomat and head of the UK Patent Of-fice before he became the head of the Government Communications Security Bureau (GCSB). His link to John Key didn’t give him those suitable credentials, but the question is:

Did it give him an edge over the four other applicants with vast mili-tary experience who also applied that year for the job of NZ spy boss?

The answer to this valid question is still unknown, and will only con-tinue to get cloudier the more John Key ‘forgets’.

But to jump to loud conclusions that publically jeopardize the cred-ibility of someone’s job and reputation, without hard evidence or a lengthy enquiry, is just plain wrong. If the term ‘cronyism’ is going to continue to be thrown about willy-nilly, then I advise you to never be nice to your brothers’ mates.

Because in 20 to 30 years, when a dozen reporters are asking you how you know one of them in relation to your job appointment, at least you can say – “yeah I know him, he’s a complete d***.”And he'll say the same about you.

By scott yeoman

cronyism: partiality to long-standing friends, especially by appointing them to positions of authority, regardless of their qualifications.

19www.ausm.org.nz

MeMoRANDuM

Page 20: debate 06, 2013

ARtIcLe

Cooking can be hard. There was a time where the most complex dish I could prepare was Tacos. From a packet. With my dad helping me (thanks dad). Now though, I’d like to think I’m a little better at the delicious, never-ending thing called cooking. Being able to cook something no matter the complexity is one of the best feelings in the world, and it gets even better when what you’ve cooked is put in your mouth and tastes fantastic. The past few years I have cooked many things like this, but equally, many things that should’ve just been set on fire upon completion; lest they run off the plate and breed. Managing to make something that tastes like angel tears, rather than cat butt isn’t hard; but it can certainly be a lot easier with some of the right know-how. Many celebrity chefs and maga-zines just assume this, but it’s not that simple. Week to week I’ll change this, giving you the basic info needed to go beyond a recipe and understand what’s happening.

This week - essential equipment. There are some pieces of equip-ment that a kitchen just isn’t complete without.

Piece One - A knifeA good, sharp knife will become your best friend in the kitchen, making anything and everything a breeze to prepare. A knife should glide through just about anything, like a hot… cutting thing through curdled cream. If a knife is less than ten dollars and is pink, it's probably not a great purchase. A knife is like a car, it should be reliable, in good condition and preferably not stolen. If buying your own, new knife, a chef’s knife is a great place to start. They’re sharp, mostly good quality and can cut just about anything. When you’re looking at chef’s knives, make sure the metal is of good standard and the handle is comfortable. A comfy handle is a must when it comes to a knife, the knife should fit in your hand like a steel-bladed glove of death. Finally, when you come to actually use your new knife, make sure to cut from the front to the back in order to make slicing and dicing around 20% more efficient (actual increases in slicing and dicing efficiency is based on averages only).

Piece Two- A frying panNow that you’ve cut and chopped everything in your kitchen bar your flatmate (and if you have, check next week for a 10 step guide on hiding a body), you’ll need to cook it in something. A frying pan is one of the best places and is a step up from an old boot over an open flame. A frying pan, like a knife, is something it’s not a good idea to skimp on. It should be flat, scratch free and non-stick. Some people argue that when pans are non-stick you can actually lose flavour in your cooking. I say those people can have their extra fla-vour while we run some hot water and soap over our pans and clean them in 20 seconds flat. Frying pans can cook bacon, chicken, steak, mince, bacon, vegetables and even simmer a curry in a pinch. In that last respect, it’s important to buy a frying pan with slightly raised sides so as to keep the food inside, and not on the floor. Lastly, it’s essential that your new knife and your new frying pan never meet. Sure they might have many common interests and get along well and maybe your knife does need some new friends, but ultimately your knife will scratch your pan and remove the non-stick coating.

Piece Three - Rubber Tongs Tongs are like the Aquaman of the kitchen world. They’re horribly underrated, but only because people keep making fun of them and not using them properly. If you get yourself some non-stick tongs you can use them with the previously mentioned fry pan, to turn things, grab things and generally just not burn your fingers. But that’s just the tip of the tong related iceberg. Tongs can grab things, flip things and can be used in all those situations where you just want to grab food without having to actually touch it. Like crumbing food. Don’t want crumbs on your hands? Tong it. Don’t want spice all over your fingers? Tong it. A pair of tongs will become the veri-table Swiss army tong of your kitchen, as soon as you have a pair, you’ll wonder how you ever got by without them.

Disclaimer: There are of course other pieces of equipment that would be quite useful, and I make no claim to be any kind of expert or really have any idea what I’m talking about.

Kieran’s CraCKpoT CooKing a noob’s guide to the Kitchen.

by Kieran Bennett

20 www.ausm.org.nz

Page 21: debate 06, 2013

Imag

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: Flic

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by rachel Peters

21www.ausm.org.nz

ooling acebook

Honesty is the best policy says the old parable that has been handed down from generation to generation. But with personal information so easily accessible via the internet, I am beginning to wonder if it is true in this day and age. Cleary by the amount of Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites users, privacy isn’t that much of a concern for the majority. I assume most people know that their personal information is stored forever by the razor sharp claws of Facebook, but at the end of the day most of us realise that with their being another billion or so users out there, our information is probably not so scandalous or precious that it really matters a great deal.

I recently read an article about Facebook using the information it collects from our like, check-ins and status updates to direct advertising towards us. It is easy to forget that whilst I think that I am going through my day quite consciously, in fact my subconscious is being bombarded with advertising at all times, and at times that is exhausting and really just

plain annoying and I have no idea why I’m thinking about purple nail polish in the middle of my lecture. I have never been a big fan on advertising seeing it as vehicle to encourage me to buy things I don’t need. Whilst it may be good to keep the economy turning, it really isn’t great for the environment and a cluttered wardrobe is of no use to anyone. I would love to see some advertising for people to save more - wouldn’t that be helpful to see beautiful models putting money in the bank and spending Friday night dining in at some takeaway joint they found on grab one? Plus it would probably help us all diminish some of that brewing inner conflict between spend and save, and we know which one usually wins!

It’s rather scary to note that Facebook is quite aware that they have many users that are sceptical of advertising and consumerism. They could guess it from our likes; what’s more they probably have a plan in place knowing just how to market to you, the sceptical. One solution to this is to delete Facebook, but anyone who has done some travelling or moving

around knows how easy Facebook makes keeping in contact with people you can’t text and have a proper catch up with. Of course, advertising has been doing that via research forever so Facebook is really just taking out the middleman. I think instead of targeting Facebook, people should also question advertising companies. Facebook may be the means of creating the big brother zeitgeist for us all but who are they acting for?

The best solution I could think of is to not be entirely honest with Facebook. Surly if they could see that their information isn’t always accurate it would stop taking it for granted that this is the best way to find out peoples likes and dislikes, if we were not so honest on Facebook it would give half as much insight.

As a vegetarian I’m off to like Jervious steakhouse and KFC. Status update about my love for Nickelback, “confess” my distaste for the new gay marriage bill, boost the support of United Future, and join a Warriors fan group. Take that Facebook!

ARtIcLe: Fooling Facebook

Page 22: debate 06, 2013

As dawn breaks in Nairobi, thousands of commuters descend on the central bus station. Hundreds of buses meet here every morning, traveling hundreds of kilometers across the savannahs. Breakfast for most commuters comes from a roadside stall, where a charcoal fire heats oil to deep fry Mandazi – a corn flour and sugar delicacy. Screen printed on the side of my bus is a knock-off of the “Emirates” logo and a picture of Jesus. Fellow passengers tell me it will help ward off a road accident on Kenya’s dangerous roads. Gospel music blasts from the buses’ sound system, and when it’s turned off a traveling salesman fills in the time selling herbal medicine. For most rural Kenyans it is the only form of health care they can access and afford. The roads are filled with potholes, and there are many close calls as vehicles swerve to avoid them.

Eight hours later, the Emirates bus service arrives amid the chaos of the Luanda market in Western Kenya. Stallholders sell the necessi-ties including fresh meat, dried fish, produce, and maize flour. Ten minutes west of Luanda on the back of the motorbike is the rural com-munity of Kima. About 79% of Kenya’s population lives in rural areas like Kima, and many people go without the basics. Homes don’t have electricity and families rely on wood as a cooking fuel. It’s definite at the local primary school; where most of the teachers do not have any qualifications and resources consist of dated text books and black-boards. The school floors are made from dirt, and recently there was a severe case of jiggers; microscopic worms that live in the dirt, bur-rowing in the children’s feet and laying eggs. Left untreated they leave

large lesions on the children’s skin. Cementing the floors is outside the reach of most schools – so they lay down manure every week to ward off the jiggers.

The community here is tight knit. During the week of national ex-ams, parents, teachers and local business people donate lunches for graduating pupils, who would otherwise go without. At the centre of the community in Kima is the Kipepeo Community Empowerment programme. From a tiny office packed late into the night, facilitators engage with the community through a library service, computer train-ing, micro finance projects, and support groups. Behind the Kipepeo programmes are four passionate young people.

'A group of children hang with glazed over yes from the glue they are addicted to sniffing, the youngest is

five years old'

East Africa’s Challenged City: NairobiBy Cameron Carpenter

22 www.ausm.org.nz

ARtIcLe: East Africa's Challgened City

Page 23: debate 06, 2013

Kenya has some of the highest youth jobless rates in the world, and after being unable to find a job Julius Kuya formed Kipepeo to help up skill his community. Many of Kipepeo’s volunteers go without themselves – yet devote their lives to helping other Kenyans on a completely voluntary basis. “We want there to be a change, we want there to be a change in the living standards of these people, we want people to be educated,” says Kuya. International support has helped Kipepeo fund its office, computers and mobile internet. Its businesses include a photocopying service and a tree service which helps to fund its projects.

One of Kipepeo’s most important programmes is a weekly meal for Luanda’s street children. Unicef estimate 350,000 children are without a home in Kenya – more common than any of the big five safari animals tourists come to see. Julius says street children are overlooked by a community struggling with their own survival. Unicef figures show more than 2.4m children in Kenya are orphans due to HIV, and many end up on the street. Often their extended family cannot afford to house an extra child, and orphanages are full or non-existent in smaller towns like Luanda. “It is usually the women who are the caregivers. The young girls stay home from school to help with chores and childcare when their parents start getting sick with HIV,” says Jurita Akuyuku, who runs a support group for more than 300 orphans in a neighbouring community.

At the Kipepeo feeding programme a group of children hang with glazed over eyes from the glue they are addicted to sniffing, the youngest is five-years-old. “Glue gives them the courage to face anyone on the street. They think that it’s one way of releasing stress,” Kuya says. Many of them end up suffering permanent physical and psychological harm. Nevertheless, the feeding programme gives the Kipepeo team the opportunity to track the street-children, and en-courage them to take part in Kipepeo's programmes. Kuya says street

mothers are forced to give their babies sleeping pills, while they sell sexual services at night. Most sexual trafficking and violence in Kenya goes unreported and unpunished. In one case, a Dutch man who operated a school in a Nairobi slum developed a list of over 70 girls against whose names were marked “virgin” or “non-virgin.” He also exposed them to pornographic material. Police harassed the young girls throughout the case and charged members of their families with false charges. Because of the police interference the man was cleared on all charges. Unicef reports say he is operating another school in Western Kenya.

Columbia University public health expert Dr Josh Ruxin says rises in sex trafficking links with instability and inequality. “Community-based NGO’s of course are best poised with ears-on-the-ground to monitor activities and alert authorities of illicit activities. They are also well placed for helping victims in the long road to recovery. But as is the case across the board, unless there is an enforceable legal structure to work hand-in-hand with the NGOs, it is challenging to achieve real traction on the issue.” Kuya says the biggest step in reha-bilitation is education; however it comes at a cost.

Primary education is free – it’s the extra costs that add up. PTA fees, textbooks, uniforms, and exam fees make education out of reach for homeless children. “We have a lot of pressure from children who want to go back to school, to polytechnics, to acquire hand skills like carpentry, mechanics, and driving, and we are unable to support them with this,” Kuya says. However a Government programme is giving families an incentive to take in an orphan, helping increase school at-tendance, and reducing the reliance on child labour. The cash transfer provides the household with $25 a month but it’s woefully insuf-ficient – still only reaching 375,000 children in selected districts. In the meantime, community groups like Kipepeo are the only lifeline for many street children in Kenya.

23www.ausm.org.nz

Page 24: debate 06, 2013

SOUND CITY – RECORDED IN HISTORY

Metal-mad carl ewen pens a review on the biggest musical collaboration of the decade, Dave Grohl’s brain child Sound City – reel to reel.

Legendary Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl has already had a huge start to 2013. He has released the critically acclaimed full length documentary Sound City, documenting the life and history of the world famous Los Angeles recording studio of the same name. The same studio that birthed some of music’s most legendary albums from some of the biggest names in music, Fleetwood Mac, Nirvana, Neil Young, Elton John, Nine Inch Nails, Tom Petty and Johnny Cash, to just name a few.

Although the Sound City Studios, which first opened in 1969, have now closed up shop, Dave Grohl purchased the custom Neve 8028 recording console, which was responsible for crafting the Sound City sound, and installed it in his own personal studio. And in celebration of the legend that is and was Sound City Studios, and to accompany the documen-tary, Grohl gathered some of the most legendary artists to record on the console together to jam and create new magic through the legendary desk once again.

The opening track is a blistering solid Rock track with a dis-tinctly indie twist provided by Robert Levon Been and Peter Hayes from Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Heaven and All is the main theme for the film and has a haunting atmosphere about it, while also maintaining a solid hard rock feel.

Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac/Buckingham Nicks) has always been one of my all-time favourite female vocalists, and on the track You Can’t Fix This, it is truer than ever. Stevie’s vo-cals melt like warm butter on toast, and having Dave Grohl almost whispering backing vocals behind her, it’s reminis-cent of a Fleetwood Mac song that never saw the light of day. The highlight of the track for me are the lyrics “dancing with the devil, call it respect, call it fear, but we never allowed the devil to come to the party”.

Rick Springfield is not a name that many 90’s babies will be familiar with, but he responsible for one of the 1980’s biggest hits Jessie’s Girl. But the track The Man That Never Was, is a far cry from the sweet pop star he was in the 80’s. This track, written during a jam with the Sound City Players (Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel & Pat Smear aka The Foo Fighters), sounds like Foo Fighters with a sharper edge, with Springfield handling the vocal treatment on the track.

The variation of pace on this album is huge, from the more sombre, acoustic based tracks like Centipede (featuring Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme) and If I Were Me (lead by band leader Grohl), through to full on old-school punk. The track Your Wife Is Calling featuring Lee Ving from the LA based punk rock band Fear is full on balls to the wall punk. Fast paced, and covered in an edgy and almost dirty punk rock film, this is yet another high point in the album, demonstrating the epic diversity you get when com-bining a plethora of artists like those featured here.

The lead single, and rock radio hit, From Can to Can’t feature the vocal talents of Corey Taylor, from Slipknot & Stone Sour fame. Hands down Taylor is easily one of the best vocalists of this generation of artists, and this track is no exception. From the opening it builds to an epic crescendo and doesn’t let up one bit. The intensity in Taylor’s vocals matched with the talents of Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick), Scott Reeder (Kyuss) and Grohl proves to be an epic col-laboration.

Being able to entice one of the forefathers of Rock n Roll into taking part in this project shows the pull that Dave Grohl has within the musical kingdom, and he managed this by bring-ing in Paul McCartney to record a song with the surviving members of Nirvana. Cut Me Some Slack is easily the most powerful vocal performance from The Beatles great that I have ever heard. The grinding and relentless sound of the band, matched with the almost out of character growls of Sir Paul are mind blowing.

The closer of the album highlights the talents of three amaz-ing individual artists who could so easily come together to form the next big Rock Super Group. On Mantra, Grohl and Homme are joined by Nine Inch Nails maestro Trent Reznor to produce a moving piece of musical magic. Sombre in tone, but unrelenting in pace Mantra could be the start of amaz-ing things to come?

All in all Sound City – Reel to Reel is an amazing musical experience, and is only made better when it is combined with the documentary. This is an epic album made up of epic artists. A purely perfect album without a dud track in sight.

24 www.ausm.org.nz

ARtIcLe- Tata'uMusIc: Sound City - Recorded In History

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The humble Civilian

Ben Uffindell is without a doubt a revolution. Not only is he the vigilante mastermind behind satirical newspaper The Civilian, Uffindell also singlehandedly brought news as we know it to an entirely new format – the internet. “The Civilian is not just a newspaper. It is a newspaper on the internet,” claims Ben. The inspiration came to him one afternoon as he was watching the news on telly. In a moment of radical inspiration, he said to himself “why doesn’t someone put this on the internet?” And he did just that.

A student until he “decided to give that up”, Ben graduated but chose not to continue his studies. Instead, he worked as an Eng-lish tutor for a year before deciding to be the civilian full time. He doesn’t really know if what he is doing is breaking any major rules but it seems until he’s told otherwise, he’ll keep on keeping on. “You can get away with a lot so long as there’s a reasonable expectation that people would be able to determine The Civilian from say, the New Zealand Herald, which I’m pretty sure they can,” he says.

Since The Civilian’s first article was posted online (crazy right?) in late January, social media has been a-buzz with its tongue-in-cheek articles and humorous headlines. ‘Teen Critically Injured After Failing to Blow on Pie”, “Tui Billboards All a Big Misun-derstanding” and “Peter Jackson Planning Novelization of The Hobbit” are just a few of the headlines that have had illogical and gullible citizens enraged and confused. “It’s something that I didn’t know before I did this but there are some people that not only don’t grasp satire, they don’t grasp the idea that anything like that could exist. If they read something that sounds authori-tative on the internet – it doesn’t matter what it says – they’ll believe it,” says Ben.

“It’s all in the name,” he says. “It comes from the fact that I feel the news is too much directed to the military. Why not some-thing that caters more for the average person? With the name ‘The Civilian’; in military terms, that basically means a hapless bystander – and that’s what we all are.” Despite being a hapless bystander himself, Ben reckons just about anybody is up for an article bullocking if they deserve it. “Everyone is fair game but not for everything. I look for the news every morning for inspira-tion and it can be quite frustrating when a lot of what I find is ‘Girl, 9, In Hospital After Crash Kills Dad.’ And you don’t wanna go there – it’s not funny at all… The Civilian will target anyone of any stripe, political orientation; anything but I won’t be mean spirited.”

Ben says he receives letters to the editor every day with con-cerned, outraged and even fearful citizens who have believed his web of lies. In early March, he published an article with the head-line “Susan Devoy Promises to Reach Out to Nation’s Blacks.” Here are a few excerpts from letters he received… Spelling errors, bad grammar and Unnecessary Capital Letters from the original letters have been left in for dramatic effect.

“…We are not from Africa and nor am I Black. Im Brown. The whole article is absolutely Arrogant, Ignorant, Rude and Deroga-tory. I will go as far as to acuse your website, Judith Collins AND Susan Devoy of being racist…”

“I think your article on Susan Devoy reaching out to BLACKS is highly offensive! I don’t and never will consider myself as black. Are you racist or something?

“…Id like to see the cow put a statue anywhere near our whenua in Waitangi let alone on Te Tii marae you dreamers.”

“Your fucked in the head mate! You need to be readmitted to “hospital” before you get put down! You Ignoramus!”

Ben is incredulous at the number of angry letters he receives and furthermore cannot believe how many people email in to ask him if the website’s information is correct. “I am confused by how many people that not only believed the story but emailed me to ask if it were real. And it baffles my mind. People email me to ask if it was real. If you want to know, go somewhere else! Ask someone else! Google it! It shouldn’t take you waiting for me to respond –which, I still haven’t – to find out.”

With around 3,500 Facebook likes (at the time of writing) and a solid Twitter following to boot, it hasn’t taken long for The Civilian to take off. Being social media dependant, Ben says page views varies from day to day depending on what news articles he posts and how they are in turn shared, re-tweeted, liked and so on. The average day however sees the website being viewed anywhere between 8,000 at the very low end and 30,000 on the high end. On a very good day, it reached 350,000 page views; an amazing figure for a recently established Kiwi site. On the future of the site, Ben says, “It’s gone a lot faster than I expected so I haven’t had time to sit down and map it out. My initial plan was to be where I am now and I didn’t think that would happen so quickly.”

“I was watching the news and I thought ‘why doesn’t someone put this on the internet?’”

by matthew Cattin

25www.ausm.org.nz

ARtIcLe: The Humble CivilianARtIcLe- Tata'u

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We live in dangerous times where terror can strike at ANY MOMENT, so it always pays to be prepared - the only safe option is to prepare for the very worst. My name is Jamie and this is why you should, and how to: prepare for a zombie apocalypse. First of all I want you to forget everything you thought you knew about zombies; this isn’t Dawn of the Dead this is reality. You cannot expect to survive re-animated corpses coming to life and trying to eat your flesh until you accept that.

Second you need to understand that a zombie apocalypse is not only possible but there are already known cases where ‘zombies’ exist. There are neurochemicals like the poison of a Japanese blowfish or a drug named datura stramonium which slow your heart rate down and leaves you in a trance like state with no memory while still allowing you to do basic tasks like eating sleeping and low level work, like at the end of Shaun of the Dead. And it’s not like they’re some experimental drug that only the highest level laboratories have access to - these neurotoxins are actually where the word “zombie” comes from. Haitian voodoo priests would give people the neurotoxin made form naturally occurring chemicals to put people to work on the sugar plantations. Now although these zombies aren’t technically undead they are still mindless, lurching automatons, and they’re also not the only possible type of zombie.

There are also diseases that block the neurochemical serotonin and cause humans to loose function of their frontal cortex and become hyper aggressive, one such disease is called Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease where symptoms include, lack of co-ordination, rapid development of dementia, and extreme aggression like in 28 Days Later. And the truly frightening part is that it is just a variation of mad cow disease that takes effect on humans, and if Britain can mistake cow for horse, then all it would take is for them to mistake normal cow from mad cow and distribute zombie contaminated burgers across the world, and we end up with a Zombieland scenario on our hands.

That said: the prevention of the destruction of society starts with YOU, so in order to fend off these brain sucking bastards YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED. Many online sights can teach you to make a basic survival kit of fresh water, canned food, first aid, torches, emergency radios, batteries, blankets and clothing. This you should already have in case of other emergencies such as natural disasters, but to be prepared for a zombie outbreak you need some means of defending yourself, with at least one melee weapons such as an axe, machete or baseball bat, and preferably one firearm. It takes about three months to get a gun licence in New Zealand and due to recent ammunition laws the demand and price of non-steel proof shotguns has fallen. However, most gun stores sell zombie-specific ammunition and contain instructions for how to maximise their effectiveness. And always remember the only way to kill a zombie is to “sever the head or destroy the brain”. And by far the most important part is to make sure you get all of this sorted out BEFORE it happens. You may think that once you hear on the news that the world is overrun with the walking dead you can flee to the nearest gun store and supermarket to stock up but so does everyone else, and unless you think you can fight off 500 panicking civilians you’ll probably end up left for dead, so get your plan ready NOW.

Now of course, the zombie apocalypse IS a worst case scenario and there will have to be some SERIOUS oversights and some rather huge leaps in science in order for one to occur. But that said if you’re ready for a zombie apocalypse you’re ready for the worst case scenario, meaning you’re also ready for most other emergencies like natural disasters, pandemics or invasions. So if one does happen - god forbid - then you have a much greater chance of surviving and just because a zombie apocalypse isn’t likely to happen, that doesn’t mean it won’t. So the next time you sit down to play Resident Evil, just check to make sure you have plenty of canned food and machetes accessible.

UNDEAD ARMAGEDDONA GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

by Jamie Barnes

ARtIcLe: Undead Armageddon

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ARtIcLe

27www.ausm.org.nz

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28 www.ausm.org.nz

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On the dawn of the zombie apocalypse, de-bate caught up with theatre producer Char-lie McDermott and actor/co-writer Simon London to chat about interactive theatre, Twilight and turning Aotea Square into the last defensive stronghold against hordes of flesh-eating zombies. Juicy…

Four years ago, Simon London and David Van Horn sat down and started planning the zombie apocalypse. Next week, their plans will come to life – literally.

“We were actually working on something else and joking around and this idea just grabbed us and we couldn’t stop talking about it and developing it. The more we talked about it with people, the more serious we got about it and it spiralled from there,” says Simon enthusiastically.

Initially planned for the Basement Theatre, the interactive theatre show Apocalypse Z quickly outgrew the venue and was thrust into the heart of the city, Aotea Square. Cre-ative producer Charlie McDermott jumped at the chance to raise hell in the CBD’s bus-tling square, encouraging the writing team to think big and rewrite the script to fit. Changes were made, strings were pulled and the preparations began. Unlike anything the cast and crew have ever worked on before, Apocalypse Z promises to be a bloody, excit-ing and completely immersive adventure for brave theatre-goers. Or as producer Charlie says, “Spookers is like the little kid’s version of what we are trying to achieve here.”

So what is it exactly? A zombie play? Not really. The fellas describe it as immersive theatre. As soon as the audience is inside, all hell breaks loose. The audience is no longer made up off traditional observational thea-tre goers; they become a band of survivors, seeking refuge in the quarantined Aotea Square. “It’s a story, not just a fright night,” says Charlie. “If you go into something and you don’t think it’s real, it’s not like you can leave your disbelief at the door. What we’re trying to create is a fully immersive world where people can think ‘shit, I could be next.’”

“From the moment you step through the gates, you are inside the world. Even if there are subliminal messages about what to do if something does go wrong, they are tied into the context of the story,” says Simon. “No one can leave. Once you go in, you can’t go out. If you need to go to the toilet, you’re out, you can’t go back in. In the world of the play, we throw people out,” adds Charlie excitedly. This isn’t theatre, this is real life.

And in a real life zombie crisis there are no toilet breaks. “The characters can’t compromise their storyline because someone wants to go to the toilet,” says Simon. “And because the audience don’t have that fourth wall that separates them from the action -because they are inside it – you can’t put everyone on hold because someone needs to go out. But then again, if someone does freak out, there are systems in place so they can be taken out as quickly and quietly as possible.”

Freak-outs are something the creative team has had to assess very carefully. In a theatri-cal environment such as this, a number of things can go wrong and specific measures had to be taken to ensure the audience’s safety. “Police are really worried about doing stuff in public like the crack of a gun or blood, but one of the most interesting stumbling blocks has been psychologists we’ve talked to who don’t know theatre so they don’t know how to contextualise it,” says director Andrew Foster. “We had to get a registered psychologist’s report on what to do in the event of a freak-out,” adds Charlie. “It’s common sense stuff. We have to be very upfront and explicit about what people are going to experience.”

I asked what was the protocol for dealing with the dicks who might ruin the experi-ence for others but like everything else, it was planned to the T. “Our characters are trying to help the audience who show up as survivors. The characters have every right, if someone is being a dick within the realms of the story, to kick them out or shut them up, because they are compromising the safety of everyone in this highly volatile situation. So there are systems in place for trampling anyone who is a problem,” says Simon. With the world going zombie mad, the team say the timing could not be better and

are extremely excited about the projects potential. Simon says around 70 per cent of all zombie material has been created post 9/11 puts it down to world’s obsession with its own demise. With Walking Dead being the most watched show in cable his-tory, Charlie says the age of the zombie is dawning. “Twilight sucks and vampires are done. Zombies are the current zeitgeist,” he says. “Vampires are more based on a higher level of society as well – the rich sucking the blood of the poor whereas zombies are just free-for-all,” says Simon. “It’s the common man getting back on every one and you can’t defeat it – it only multiplies,” adds Charlie.

It’s seeing humans reduced to a primal state that Simon loves about zombies. “People are interested in the human struggle at a really base level of surviving a zombie apocalypse and all the moral decisions that you have to deal with. Like the Friedrich Nietzsche quote ‘he who fights the monster might take care lest he thereby become a monster.’” That’s the sort of stuff that excites us and we are really focussing on a lot in this produc-tion – the struggles on a very human level - do I compromise myself to save my own life?”

You might think Charlie, as producer, would be nervous at the prospect of failure but his attitude makes me think otherwise. After initially being denied a few grants for the project, Charlie kept persevering to get it off the ground. “Most people I know, they take it personally. They say “I suck” and they give up. We went ‘no, how can we fucking make this better,’” he says. And it might not be long before you see Apocalypse Z infect-ing the rest of the world; the crew have big dreams for the bloody project. After infect-ing New Zealand, Charlie hints that the pro-ject could spread internationally, raising the dead in cities across the globe. Awesome.

Any other details of the show I can give away? Yes, but you won’t hear it from me – I’m sworn to secrecy. But I can help you get there to see for yourself. The kind folks at Apocalypse Z have given me some BLOODY GOOD PRIZES to giveaway. Email debate with your student ID number with the subject line APOCALYPSE Z to be in to WIN a double pass. AND one lucky student will win the opportunity to become a part of the show. You will be trained up, made up and bloodied up to play a disgusting, blood drooling, scabby, flesh eating zombie in the final show. How cool is that? So cool I was tempted to keep it for myself… SO. Email in to win - it won’t kill you.

ApOCALYpSE ZBLOODY gOOD THEATrE

BY MATTHEw CATTIN

29www.ausm.org.nz

ARtIcLe: APOCALYPSE Z

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IN CINEMAS APRIL 11

NZ NZ

Scrump Lyfe

30 www.ausm.org.nz

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IN CINEMAS APRIL 11

NZ NZ

NZ NZ

CHECK THE CLASSIFICATION

SCARY MOVIE 5 is coming to cinemas April 11, and Roadshow Films and Debate are giving you the chance to WIN one of 20 double passes to this film.

SynopsisThe latest installment of the SCARY MOVIE franchise includes send ups of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, MAMA, SINISTER, THE EVIL DEAD, INCEPTION, BLACK SWAN and pop culture featuring Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams, Molly Shannon, Terry Crews, Simon Rex, Jerry O'Connell, Sarah Hyland, Katrina Bowden, Tyler Posey, Shad Moss aka Bow Wow, Kate Walsh, Heather Locklear, Mac Miller and Mike Tyson.

In SCARY MOVIE V, happily-married couple Dan and Jody start to notice bizarre activity after they bring home Dan's brother's kids who have been on their own in the wilderness for 3 years. But when the chaos expands into Jody’s job as a ballet dancer and Dan’s career as an Ape researcher, they begin to think they're being stalked by the sinister ghost of the children's "Mama." Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must protect their new family.

In Cinemas April 11

Rating: TBC

www.scarymovie5movie.co.nz

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When I contentedly put down The Casual Vacancy, I finally allowed myself a glimpse at its critical reception and quickly found a trend – those that did not enjoy the book lamented the fact it had none of Harry Potter’s magic. For professional reviewers, I find this embarrassing. They need to pull the wands out of their arses, see a shrink, and come to terms with the fact that JK Rowling has moved on into muggle-only territory. I miss Harry too but apples and oranges people! So, Potter aside, let us move on with the review.

When Barry Fairbrother - Parish council member and all round good sort - drops dead unexpectedly, the whingey, quiet town of Pagford is changed forever. His death makes available his position on the council – a casual vacancy – and the book revolves around those who wish to fill it, their motives, families, friends and enemies. The plot is too twisted and the list of characters too great to embellish much on this general overview but my! What a read. It took a while for me to wrap my head around all of their characters and their relationships but once I familiarised myself, I was a Pagford resident through and through, caught up in the tangled web of backstabbing, secrets and lies.

The character detail – JK’s strong point - is truly amazing, as her fans will no doubt know. Of the roughly 20 main characters, everybody has a specific purpose; an intricate role in the outcome of the narrative. JK paints a crowded room and then seamlessly shifts between perspectives, giving you behind the scenes access to the thoughts of all the main players, building up the pace for each personality as she does so. It’s really quite masterful and a big step away from HP where she focused largely on the protagonist, only occasionally offering broader perspectives. The themes delved into are about as heavy hitting as you can get with JK touching on drug use, abuse, mental illness, suicide, self-harm, poverty, rape and racism. Yep… So really not the kind of thing you’d read to your kids before bed this time around. But while some characters are chased down rabbit holes by their demons, others find vindication and discover inner strength they didn’t realise. So if you are expecting another Harry Potter, avoid this book like the plague. But if you are mature enough to accept that The Casual Vacancy is wizard free, you have a box of tissues handy and you’re eager to see an incredible author stretching her tremendous claws, pick it up. It will depress and provoke, but not disappoint.

Springing from the dark, 10 years after his last album, Bowie surprised everyone with the release of this latest effort, The Next Day. He acknowledges this in macabre fashion on the album’s opening track which shares the same title.

“Here I am, not quite dying. My body left to rot in a hollow tree,” screams Bowie. It’s a rousing, chant driven rocker. He’s making a statement I suppose.

The fast tempo opener is followed by quite the opposite – a slow slugger. Dirty Boys chugs along with lyrical rhymes and a confession to “run with dirty boys”. It features deep horns and screechy guitar, casting a seedy sound like K Road on a Friday night.

Valentine’s Day is a song with hints of Ziggy Stardust as Bowie sings with androgynous charisma – it’s almost anthem-like but doesn’t quite reach those heights. It floats effortlessly through the drama of the lyrics which, according to long time producer Tony Visconti, relate to a high school shooter.

I'd rather Be High is another track sung with similar Ziggy exuberance and plays on trippy, druggy references for a more literal story of a World War II soldier.

There are 17 songs on this album that churn out driving rock ballads with hints of greatness that make up Bowie’s iconic stature. Ultimately, however, it’s long-winded.

Bowie remained elusive around the release of this album and has said there will be no tour but there could be a one-off show. Speaking to rolling Stone magazine, Visconti says Bowie had put recording aside for such a long period as “music didn’t interest him” – that is until Bowie called out of the blue with some fleshed out tracks ready for recording. The Next Day is an album Bowie worked on quietly, out of the limelight with no expectations. Perhaps this is why the album lacks urgency. There’s nothing fighting for glory and demanding attention. That’s not to say the album is without a few great moments though.

Working with Visconti, Bowie unleashes fragments of glamour and magic but the past is dead and buried leaving Bowie to stamp his elder rock statesman boots into the ground. The Next Day isn’t a bad album, rather, it rests like a hibernating beast that never stirs. It is, after all, David Bowie – it demands some attention.

the Next DayDavid Bowie

Rating:

Reviewed by Nigel Moffiet

the casual vacancyJk Rowling

Rating:

Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

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RevIews

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Stephanie Meyer is a name that does not give much hope when it comes to a decent film. The woman responsible for the Twilight series now gives us The Host- a sci-fi love story, which I have been told, is “way different and better then Twilight.”

Not really knowing anything about the story prior to the screening, I went in with an open mind.

From what I understand, the plot is basically about an alien life form that has taken over earth. The main character is Melanie, played by the now grown up Saoirse Ronan (Hanna, The lovely bones). She is too strong for the soul, so it is not able to take over her body completely. This results in an ongoing battle, which involves Saoirse Ronan talking to herself throughout the film. By the end of it, you just want Melanie to die because her voice gets so annoying.

There is a love triangle that is actually more ridiculous then the Bella, Jacob, and Edward triangle. It even involves Melanie kissing two guys in one scene (she swaps around a lot). There is way too much kissing in this film to even stomach, and a lot of it feels too forced.

Meyer doesn’t care that her stories have no substance or that there are major loopholes and lack of character development. She is a genius in the fact that she knows what the public (adolescent tweeny girls) want. She is able to create a world that touches on what most adolescents go through, and even if it’s not done well it appeals and connects with an audience.

New Zealander Andrew Nichol is a great director, and Diane Kruger (Troy, Inglorious Bastards) as a cold-blooded seeker is awesome. And unlike Kristen Stewart, Saoirse Ronan can act. There is also eye candy for the girls.

If you ignore all the tedious parts, The Host is surprisingly good.

In New Zealand we’re used to bands announcing a show, then having the joyous time of waiting months for the night to come around. But that’s not the case with Fall Out Boy, in New Zealand or anywhere else in the world. On March 11th they announced their Auckland show, and played to a sold out crowd at the Pow-erstation only 18 days later. Since coming off a three year hiatus on February 4, FOB haven’t wasted any time; dropping a single (My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark), and giving us world tour dates, new merchandise and the announcement of an album (Save rock n roll; a title bassist Pete Wentz explained to be something of a joke) due out April 15.

After their Maori powhiri onto stage, something I personally haven’t seen a band do before, it was straight into their opening number Thriller (sans Jay-Z). It had been a three year wait that seemed irrelevant to the crowd as song after song was played and sung with full hearts by Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman and Andy Hurly. The transi-tion from Grand Theft

Autumn/Where Is Your Boy to Hum Hallelujah was my favourite of the night, with it being two of my favourite songs played back to back.

In an attempt to keep the crowd happy, Stump (the band’s singer/guitarist) played the chorus of the bands new single Phoenix, despite the band saying earlier that they wouldn’t be playing it. This was followed by Sugar, We’re Going Down which is another crowd favourite; and a song that, to the untrained ear is unde-cipherable. Finishing the show with an encore of Thnks Fr Th Mmrs and Saturday, I can effortlessly say it was an amazing set list and an amazing show. As a fan, I can only hope that they come back again soon to promote their new album.

fall out BoyLive at the Powerstation

Rating:

Reviewed by Catherine Barker

the hostfilm

Rating:

Reviewed by Shilo Kino

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RevIews

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comeSeeUs-Manukau.pdf 1 21/03/13 1:16 PM

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