death & grief

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DEATH & GRIEF. G505 Andrea Davasher Kassy Franchville Chris Kempf. What Is Grief?. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation



    G505Andrea DavasherKassy FranchvilleChris Kempf

  • What Is Grief?

    Grief is the emotion people feel when they experience a loss. There are many different types of loss, and not all of them are related to death. For example, a person can also grieve over the breakup of an intimate relationship or after a parent moves away from home.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone important to you. Grief is also the name for the healing process that a person goes through after someone close has died. The grieving process takes time, and the healing usually happens gradually.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • *Although everyone experiences grief when they lose someone, grieving affects people in different ways.

    *Depends on relationship with person.

    *Circumstances under which they died.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Cont.*Knowing someone is going to die can give us time to prepare.*If they were suffering, it can mean a sense of relief.*If the person that died was young, we may feel it was unfair.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Losing someone suddenly can be extremely traumatic, though, no matter how old that person is. Maybe someone you know died unexpectedly - as a result of violence or a car accident, for example. It can take a long time to overcome a sudden loss because you may feel caught off guard by the event and the intense feelings that are associated with it.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • *Grief can make us feel guilty.

    *Some people might blame themselves or think they could have done something to stop the death.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Others might think if only they had been better people, than their loved ones might not have died. These things aren't true, of course - but sometimes feelings and ideas like this are just a way of trying to make sense of something that's difficult to understand.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Coping With GriefThe grieving process is very personal and individual - each person goes through his or her grief differently. Some people reach out for support from others and find comfort in good memories.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Coping cont.*Throw selves into activities to take mind off loss.*Become depressed and withdraw from activities, peers, family.*Everyone handles grief in different ways.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • For some people, it may help to talk about the loss with others. Some do this naturally and easily with friends and family, others talk to a professional therapist.

    1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation.

  • Do children experience grief?

    Yes, if children are old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve. Many times in our society children are the forgotten grievers. For instance, when a parent dies, whom do we expect to help the child with their grief? The surviving parent. That parent not only has their own grief to deal with but they are learning for the first time how to be a single parent. They, like their child, can use support in their grieving.

    Excerpt from David Kesslers website On Grief & GrievingBy Elisabeth Kbler-Ross & David Kessler

  • Example Joey's friends expected he'd be really upset at his mom's funeral, so they were surprised that he was smiling and talking with people as if nothing had happened. When they asked him about it, Joey said that seeing his friends at the funeral cheered him up because it reminded him that some things would still be the same. Joey was able to cry and talk about how he felt when he was alone with his dad after the funeral.

    Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhDDate reviewed: April 2004KIDS/TEEEN.ORG

  • Counselors should keep in mind: Children dont grieve the way we do. They dont openly talk about how they are feeling. A death in their life usually causes them to feel even more different than usual.

    Bereavement groups can be a helpful tool for children.


  • DSM IV V62.82 Bereavementalong w/diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder

    This category can be used when the focus of clinical attention is a reaction to the death of a loved one.Can be linked with a Major Depressive Episode (e.g., feelings of sadness and associated symptoms such as insomnia, poor appetite, and weight loss).Symptoms must still be present 2 months after loss.Cant be considered normal grief reactions.

    DSM IV, p 740-741, V62.82*Very limited information

  • What are the Five Stages of Grief and Do They Always Occur in the Same Order?

  • The five stages:

    Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance

    Elisabeth Kbler-Ross

  • Youtube video clip

    Summer expresses her grieving for Marissa in five stages. From episode 4x04 "The Metamorphosis".

  • Stages (cont.)The stages are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. Different for everyone.Doesnt always happen in exact order, may revert before moving forward.


  • Typical Physical Symptoms of Grief difficulty going to sleep, or waking in the middle of the night

    weight loss or gain; over- or under-eating

    low energy or fatigue

    headaches, chest pain, or racing heart

    upset stomach or digestive problems

    hair loss

  • Grief or Depression? GriefExperienced in wavesDiminishes in intensity over timeHealthy self-imageHopelessnessResponse to supportOvert expression of angerPreoccupation with deceased

    * Excerpts from Therese A. Rando (1993). Treatment of Complicated Mourning. Research Press, Champaign, IL.

    DepressionMoods and feelings are staticConsistent sense of depletionSense of worthlessness and disturbed self-imagePervasive hopelessnessUnresponsive to supportAnger not as pronouncedPreoccupation with self

  • There are many ways people who are grieving can help themselves:

    Attending support groupsTherapy with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professionalJournalingEating WellExercisingGetting enough restAntidepressants such as Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Celexa, Prozac and can be very effective to those who become clinically depressed

  • (continued)Reading and learning about death-related grief responsesSeeking comforting ritualsAvoiding major changes in residence, jobs, or marital statusAllowing emotionsSeeking solace in the faith community

  • Factors that may hinder the healing process

    Avoiding or minimizing emotions

    Using alcohol or drugs to self-medicate

    Using work to avoid feelings

  • Gender Differences Women

    express their feelings early after loss reach out for social support are seen to express more sorrow, depression, and guiltmore willing to talk about the loss of a child Men

    more likely to take on a managerial role intellectualize their emotionsindicate that they feel more anger, fear, and loss of control use denial more more private about grief

  • Developmental Grief ResponsesAges 2-4Concept of DeathDeath seen as reversible Grief ResponseIntensive response but briefVery present orientedMost aware of changes in patterns of careAsking questions repeatedly

  • Developmental Grief ResponsesAges 4-7 Concept of DeathDeath still seen as reversible Feeling of responsibility because of wishes and thoughtsGrief Response More verbalizationGreat concern with process. How? Why? May act as though nothing has happenedGeneral distress and confusion

  • Developmental Grief ResponsesAges 7-11 Concept of DeathStill wanting to see death as reversible but beginning to see it as final Death seen as punishmentGrief ResponseSpecific questions Desire for complete detailWhat is the right way to respond? Starting to have ability to mourn and understand mourning

  • Developmental Grief ResponsesAges 11-18 Concept of DeathAbility to abstractBeginning to conceptualize deathGrief ResponseExtreme sadnessDenialRegressionMore often willing to talk to people outside of family and peer supportRisk-taking

  • It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. ~Dr. Elisabeth Kbler-Ross

  • Needs of the 2 5 year oldKind and understanding tone of voice and demeanorEncouragement to talk about how s/he feels in whatever way s/he can express itPermission to play about death and the events surrounding the experienceOpen and direct manner that says Im with you and you are with me. There are no secrets.

  • Needs of the 2 5 year old(continued)Sharing of how you feel or felt when a similar thing happenedReassurance that remaining family members will take care of the child

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