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Cup of Waati? Afrikani waati?

The African Cup of Nations is here. Yes, it is. Most of you have been wondering why Drogba and Kalou

are not appearing for Chelsea, and hadnt even thought of tuning to a local station to find out. No,

nedda, bambi. They are not in England, they are in Africa. At the Cup of Ntions. Some of you might not

know this because of a new loadshedding schedule that aims to shed darkness on African football.

In fact, CAF should change its football timetable, so that they matches can be played when we have

power. That is because power returns, mercifully, at 5am so that we can get ready for work. But now,

we have the African Cup of Nations, and this new loadshedding is killing it. Seriously, can someone tell

me how Gabon played? Or Zambia? Because power goes like during the first quarter of these matches,

and thus I cant tell.

Sure, radio commentary is exciting. The vernacular guys are really spectacular in making us imagine

whats going on. However, language is limited. There is only so many ways that you can say off-the-line-

scissor-kick-goal-clearance-goalkeeper-beaten-Ghana-survives. And then say it in full colour. Some

things cant be said on radio; home kit or away kit? And newspapers just dont cut it. We need MOVING

PICTURES PLUS SOUND.

But seriously, I think Umeme hates African football. Exhibit 1; we have been having a pretty regular

loadshedding schedule, but then, on the opening day of the African cup of nations, power went. No

opening ceremony, no first match, no second match. Next day, power, no problem. Next day, regular

loadshedding. Then, fateful day, during a match, blackout. What??? I thought we were to have power

today. Wait; the hill across never gets loadshedded. How come?

I call the toll free line. Its not available. I call the second toll free line. Also not available. I call an insider

whos able to reach them. I am reliably informed that this is a special batch of loadshedding that ha s

been given, especially to us. Whoa. Fuming just; I look at the hill who are now having power in our

stead, and my mind wanders; all those people, in their homes, watching tv, probably not even watching

football. Wasting power on some useless soap, which is not live. Dammit. When did they say power was

coming? Around 10pm. Cool, that will be just in time for the second match. 10:30 pm. No power.

Power came back at 4 am. Which is just as well. Fans of African football on our hill had already cried

themselves to sleep. Maybe we can watch highlights of the match? Weya from? Ah forget it; weve lost

those two matches. Well, this week, and this is Friday, Ive watched four out of ten matches. Thats forty

percent.

Well, you cant enjoy a tournament at forty percent efficiency. Maybe ninety five percent. And the five

percent had better be coz you had to go to the loo to pee. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

There is this chick who brags that she watches NTV on her TV phone when lights go out. Well, another

one upstaged her and said she uses a GENERATOR. I thought they were bragging at the time, but

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bragging that you are watching tv on a phone to your friends in outside countries, like Kenya, who dont

have industrial strength powercuts like ours, is like bragging about your Icebox to an eskimo.

Atte the Bujagali fairytale is getting a bit boring. Apparently, Bujagali is the vernacular term for

disappointment. Mbu there are spirits who whisper to the Engineers wrong dates just for the fun of it.

First of all, we were fairytold that before the end of last year, then before the real end of last year, thenjust after the beginning of this year. The spirits have been having a royal laugh at us.

So, buy TV phone, or get generator. Or, go to Bibanda. But the Kibanda option looks suspect. How power

disappears before big matches seems fishy to me. Some of the Kibanda shareholders must be in the

loadshedding station down at Umeme. Umeme should fire all bibanda shareholders

Another option is to switch off the lights when you have power, so that when Umeme sees the hill at

night, they think they have loadshedded, kumbe waa. Then you get free power an extra day.

Try something, anything, otherwise the next time you see Drogba, hell be in London. Though Im not

saying Ivory Coast will win; they are like Liverpool. Which is why I left both, and now support GABON.Viva la Cup de les African Nations!