CuidANCE MATTERSDan Gartrell with

Julie Jochum Gartrell

Understand BullyingKaren, a Head Start teacher, writes:

I heard the words shut up and wentinto the bathroom to find out what washappening.

Shayna was sitting in the corner cry-Ing. I said, "Shayna, why are you cry-ing?" and she answered, "Amanda andChristina said they aren't my friendsanymore."

i asked Shayna if she had told themto shut up, and she sard yes. I toid herI was sorry that they made her feelsad and angry, but those words botherpeople in our classroom. (Amanda andChristina were watching and listeningto us talk.) I explained to Shayna thatmaybe next time she could tell the girlsit made her sad to hear they didn't wantto be her friends.

I told Amanda and Christina thatShayna was feeling sad because ofwhat happened. They went over toShayna and gave her a hug and saidthey were sorry. Later, I saw the threeplaying together. (Gartrall 2007)

This column explores the longtimehot topic of bullying. In a broad-basedstudy for the Journal of the AmericanMedical Association, Nansel and hiscolleagues (2001) discuss bullyingfrom the viewpoints of young peoplewho bully and the victims of bully-ing, both of whom tend to perceivethemselves as being less than fullyaccepted members of a group. Theauthors state that bullying often hasto do with inflicting aggression onanother in order to establish a per-ceived place of prestige by loweringthe social status of the other.

Although the Nansel team's studyfocuses on preteens and teens, the

1.3

findings generally apply in early child-hood as well. Moving from a place ofestablished social status in the familyto the social uncertainty of the earlychildhood classroom, most young chil-dren feel some level of stress. Couplethis dynamic with the young child'slimited social perspective and ongoingbrain development, and the result isthe almost daily I'm-your-friend/I'm-not-your-friend phenomenon heardin the comments of Amanda andChristina. And who is iikeiy to be theodd child out? The child who maybe moody, sometimes unfriendly, notconsistently outgoing—that would beShayna.

In early childhood classrooms,children are just beginning to learnpatterns of social acceptance andrejection. Sprung, FroschI, and Hinitzemphasize that this is why a teacher'sresponse to early bullying needs tobe proactive and preventive (2005).Although it may almost sound likeKaren was beating up on the victim,the teacher knew Shayna well and wasteaching her an alternative responseto shut up that the other girls wouldfind less objectionable. At the sametime, by including all three children inthe mediation, Karen was sensitizingAmanda and Christina to the fact thatShayna has a right to be fully acceptedas a classmate.

According to the sound approachrecommended by Sprung, FroschI, andHinitz, mediation is only the Immedi-ate follow-up in a broad-based effort.Through ongoing class meetings, theteacher establishes from day one thatthe classroom is an encouraging placefor all. The teacher builds such anenvironment by modeling inclusive

group spirit as well as teaching it. Inthe clarion call of Vivian Gussin Paley,"You can't say you can't play" (1992).Children have the right to choosetheir own friends, but In the encour-aging classroom, they need to befriendly to all their "mates."

Because it is a hot-button issue,some programs advocate zero toler-ance for bullying. However, quick fixeslead to automatic reactions that do notencourage teachers to think about theindividual situations of the childreninvolved. Let us continue with theanecdote involving Karen and Shayna:

A little later, Shayna walked over tothe breakfast table. She started cryingagain. I asked, "Is something makingyou feel sad, Shayna?"

Dan Gartrell, EdD, is director of theChild Development Training Programand professor of early childhood andelementary education at Bemidji StateUniversity in northern Minnesota.

Julie Jochum Gartrell, EdD, is directorof Special Education Licensure and theMA in Differentiated Instruction Programand professor of education at Concor-dia University, St. Paul, Minnesota.

Please send comments to dgartreil®bemldjlstate.edu. Thanks to the twoformer Head Start teachers of northernMinnesota who contributed these anec-dotes, which first appeared in Dan'sbooks and have been adapted here.The names of teachers and childrenhave been changed.

With this article, Dan closes the Guid-ance Matters column to work on the 5thedition of his textbook.

Illustration by Patrick Cavanagh.

This column is available online inBeyond the Journal, May 2008, atwww.journal.naeyc.org/btj.

54 Children *f/\ay 2008

She said, "I miss my Daddy." Herfather had been killed in a car accidenta few months earlier.

I sat down on a chair, hugging andholding her. I said, "Shayna, my daddydied when I was a little girl, and it mademe very sad too. I am so glad you toldme why you were crying." We sat byeach other and ate breakfast.

Shayna went to the housekeepingarea for choice time and joined Amandaand Christina. Later in the day, shecame up to me and said, "I'm over mydaddy now."

I said, "Shayna, it's OK to feel sadabout missing your daddy. I still missmy dad. If you need a hug or want totalk, you come and tell me."

I made other staff aware of the inci-dent and that night talked with Shayna'smom. The next day, Shayna sat on mylap at the playdough table, and we madecookies together. (Gartrell 2007)

We do well to remember that chil-dren's life stories, although not usuallyas heartbreakingly sad as Shayna's,lie behind every incident of bullying.Recognizing that certain childrenmay be vulnerable to bullying—dueto life experiences, behavior, and/orphysical appearance—we befriendthese children and guide them towardbehaviors that will help them gainthe acceptance of their peers. Everychild has a story worth knowing, onethat hopefully resonates with a caringteacher, as Shayna's did with Karen.

Bullying as physical aggression

Nansel and his team make the casethat bullying by girls usually involvestaunting, exclusion, and gossip (2001).Bullying by boys can, and sometimesdoes, degenerate into pbysicai aggres-sion. While (sadly) physical aggressionmay be on the increase with oldergirls, the pattern found by Nansel andhis team tends to hold true in earlychildhood.

Liz. a Head Start teacher, writes:

I walked onto the playground andimmediately saw that a child fromanother room, Paul, was hitting Kevin.

Kevin stood against the fence with hisarms up over his head. I hurried overand arrived at the same time as Paul'steacher. She pulled Paul away fromKevin, and we both knelt down to talkto them, each holding a child.

Before either of us spoke, Kevinlooked at Paul and said, "It made mevery mad when you hit me." He contin-ued, "You're supposed to use words,not hit." Paul did not respond in anyway during the discussion.

1 thanked Kevin for using his wordsand not hitting back. The other teacherstayed to talk with Paul. She later toldme that she and her teaching team hadscheduled a "staffing" concerning himthat day and would meet with Paul'sfamily. (Gartrell 2007)

For many young children, bully-ing is a form of instrumental aggres-sion—harming another physicallyor psychologically in order to obtaina goal. Teachers need to use theirleadership skills to guide children tomore socially responsible, alternativebehaviors. For a few cbildren, bullyingis reactive aggression—a child experi-ences stress, does not know how toask for help, and acts out against aperceived unjust world as a reactionto the stress. The child attacked mayhave done little or nothing to provokethe aggression. Teachers sometimesmust work hard to figure out whatmade the child vulnerable.

Not many children would haveresponded as Kevin did. Support forhim in the days foiiowing the incidentwas important. At the same time, Paulhad problems in his life that were big-ger than he was. The circumstancesrequired staffing, meeting with par-ents, and a comprehensive guidancestrategy. Paul's teacher showed shewas committed to that process.

Liberation teaching

Liberation leaching is a term 1 usein my writings, part of the meaning ofwhich is to not give up on any child(Gartrell 2007). Liberation teachingmeans the teacher realizes that com-forting the victim and punishing the

bully only further the bully-victim syn-drome in the class. Instead, the teacherhelps the one child express feelingsabout being bullied and assists theother child to learn that bullying doesnot help with finding an identity withinthe group. With each intervention theteacher responds to the question.What can 1 teach these children rightnow so they can letirn to get along?This teaching process is interactive,with the teacher learning about thechildren even while teaching mutualacceptance and negotiation skills.

Liberating teachers work for a uni-fied, programwide approach to bully-ing. When teachers and administratorswork together to build encouragingclassrooms, develop positive relationswith parents, use guidance to handleconflicts, and take a planned approachto bullying that includes both pre-vention and intervention, bullyingbehaviors markedly decline (Hoover& Oliver 1996; Beane 2005). Workingwith fellow staff and administrators,liberating teachers can accomplishwhat they cannot do on their own.

To increase your knowledge

Professional resources

Beane. A.L. 2005. The Bully FreeClassroom: Over 100 Tips and Strat-egies for Teachers K-8. Minneapolis:Free Spirit Press.

Positive and practical, reinforced withtrue stories and enhanced by reproduc-ible forms, checklists, and resources,this solution-filled book can make yoursa classroom where all students canlearn without fear. Other Bully Freeresources include mini-guides for edu-cators; a workbook; Bully Free BulletinBoards, Posters, and Banners: and TheBuily Free Ciassroom CD-ROM.

Jackson, C. 2007. The ABCs of bully-ing. Teaching Toierance, ClassroomActivities (January).

Bullying often begins with verbalabuse. In this article. Teaching Toler-ance offers resources to help educa-tors, families, and students addressbullying in the classroom and beyond.www.tolerance.org/teach/activities/activ[ty.jsp?ar=771

Young C/j/Zdren* May 2008 55

Minnesota Association for Children'sMental Health. 2006. SuperMe: ACampaign to End Hurtful Teasing.Saint Paul: Author.

In this packet, short stories, coloringpages, classroom activities, and a bul-letin board display get students thinking,drawing, and writing about nonviolentways to handle teasing and bullying.The packet includes the SuperMeBooklet and the SuperMe Team Materi-als, with new lesson plans and bulletinboard pinups of the SuperMe Team.

Moss, P. 2007. Gender doesn't limityou! Teaching Tolerance 32 (Fall).

A prominent researcher and anelementary school team up to identifywhat works—and what doesn't—whenteaching young children about genderbullying, www.tolerance.org/teach/activities/actlvity.jsp?ar=841&pa=3

Sprung, B., M. FroschI, & B. Hinitz.2005. The Anti-Bullying and Teas-ing Book for Preschool Classrooms.Beltsville, MD: Gryphon House.

This guide addresses teasing andbullying as a continuum of intentionallyhurtful behavior, from making fun ofsomeone to repetitive physical abuse.Creating a caring environment at thebeginning of the school year reducesthe need for children to assert them-selves through negative behavior suchas teasing and bullying.

Children's literature(preschool to grade 3)

Bateman, T. 2004. The Bully BlockersClub. Morton Grove, IL: Albert Whit-man. 30 pp. Pre-K-3.

On the first day of school. Grant Griz-zly, the class bully, taunts and teasesLotty Raccoon. After trying severaltactics that do not work, Lotty comes

up with a solution: the Bully BlockersClub. A class discussion on bullyingensues, and the teacher and studentscompose rules to help everyone feelsafe and welcome.

Carlson, N. 1990. Arnie and the NewKid. New York: Viking Press. 32 pp.Pre-K-3.

Philip uses a wheelchair and is newin school. This combination makes himthe target of bullying by Arnie, until Arniefalls, breaks his leg, and finds himselfin a similar situation. As Arnie beginsto understand Philip's challenges andcapabilities, they become friends.

dePaola, T. 1979. Oliver Button Is aSissy. Orlando, FL: Harcourt, Brace.48 pp. K-3.

This picture book tells the story of aboy who is teased because he likes todance. He overcomes the bullying notby fighting, but by continuing to do whathe likes best in spite of the harassment.

Henkes, K. 1991. Chrysanthemum.New York: William Morrow. 32 pp. K-2.

After being taunted by her peersat school. Chrysanthemum wants tochange her name. When the classlearns that their popular music teacherhas an unusual name—Delphinium—Chrysanthemum feels better and theother children accept her.

Hoffman, G. 1996. The Big Bad BullyBear. New York: Reverie Publishing.24 pp. K-3.

Arthur and his friend Emmy Bearinvite all the teddy bears in the neigh-borhood for cake. They join togetherto teach Bully Bear a valuable lesson,and Bully Bear realizes he would ratherhave friends than be a bully.

Keats, E.J. 1998. Goggles! NewYork: Viking Press. 40 pp. Pre-K-2.

Archie and Peter find a pair of motor-cycle goggles, and the neighborhoodbullies try to take them. They use theirdog, Willie, to help them outsmart thebullies.

Levy, J. 2005. Alley Oops. New York:Flashlight Press. 32 pp. K-3.

This story relates the aftermath ofbullying from the perspective of thebully, J.J. Jax, who has been torment-ing an overweight boy. Patrick. AfterMr. Jax tells J.J, a story about when heacted as a bully and how sorry he feelsnow, J.J. talks things over with Patrick.The boys' shared interest in arm-

L

wrestling becomes the conduit for reso-lution and a budding friendship,

Lovell, P. 2001. Stand Tall, Molly LouMelon. 32 pp. New York: G.P. Put-nam. Pre-K-2.

When Molly Lou Melon starts at anew school, Ronald, the class bully,teases her for being short, beingbucktoothed, and having a voice like"a bullfrog being squeezed by a boaconstrictor," Molly remembers what hergrandmother told her, and she feelsgood about herself, which helps herovercome the bully's taunts.

McCain, B.R. 2001. Nobody KnewWhat to Do. Morton Grove, IL:AlbertWhitman. 24 pp. K-3.

A boy tries to figure out what to dowhen he repeatedly witnesses a class-mate being bullied. Though frightened,he decides to tell his teacher. Whenthe bullies start up again, the boy andhis classmates band together with thestudent being harassed until adultsintervene and help.

Moss, P. 2004. Say Something. Gar-diner, ME: Tilbury House. 32 pp.Grades 2-4.

A young narrator describes differentexamples of bullying that she witnessesat school and on the bus. One day, she

56 Young C/j/Wren* May 2008

must sit alone in the cafeteria, and sev-eral students make jokes at her expense.The girl feels angry and is frustrated withthe other kids, who look on sympatheti-cally bat say nothing. The next day, sheapproaches a quiet girl who is oftenteased and finds a new friend.

O'Neill, A. 2002. The Recess Queen.New York: Scholastic. 32 pp. Pre-K-2.

All the children fear Mean Jean, theplayground bully. Then a new student,Katie Sue, unknowingly does all thethings Mean Jean forbids. When MeanJean attempts to set the record straight,Katie Sue pulls out a jump rope andasks Mean Jean to play with her. Shedoes, and the social environment of theplayground improves for everyone.

Thomas, P. 2000. Stop Picking on Me(A First Look At series). Happauge,NY: Barron's. 29 pp. Pre-K-3.

Written by an experienced psycho-therapist and counselor, this picturebook examines bullying in simpleterms—the fears, worries, and ques-tions and the dynamics in young chil-dren's relationships. The book encour-ages children to understand personaland social problems as a first steptoward solving them.

Web sitesAbout Bullying is part of the 15+ Make

Time to Listen . . . Take Time to Talkinitiative. It provides information aboutbullying and methods for communicat-ing with children about the climate offear created by bullying. The mes-sages exchanged between childrenand their caregivers in just 15 minutesor more a day can be instrumentalin building a healthier, safer environ-ment. http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/15plus/aboutbullying.asp

^ DAN

Guidance Matters, Dan Gartrell's column about positive approaches to guidingyoung children's behavior, first appeared in Young Children in November 2005. Inevery issue since then, Guidance Matters has offered readers practical ideas tohelp young children build the social and emotional skills needed to live and workin a democratic society.

This is Dan's last Guidance Matters column. On behalf of our readers, theYoung Children editorial team offers our sincere thanks to Dan for his meaningfulcontributions. Although we will miss his stories and relevant suggestions, readerscan continue to read and refer to the many Guidance Matters columns alreadyonline in Beyond the Journal—Young Children on the Web (www.journal.naeyc.org/btj/archive.asp).

— Deny Koraiek, Editor

Anti-Defamation League CurriculumConnections focuses on Words ThatHeal, a tool to help educators findbooks and other resources to includein the curriculum to teach about bul-lying, stopping bullying, and so on.www.adl.org/educationycurriculum_connectJons/Default.asp

Bullying—No Way! from Australia'seducational communities, createslearning environments where everystudent and school community mem-ber is safe, supported, respected, val-ued—and free from bullying, violence,harassment, and discrimination, www.bullyingnoway.com.au/who/default.shtml

Connect for Kids gives action stepsand tips for parents whose childrenare bullied. It explains cyber bullying,how it affects an individual, and howto prevent it. It also has a place forparents and students alike to sharetheir comments and concerns andsupport one another, www.connectforkids.org/node/3116

PACER Kids Against Bullying, forelementary school children, focuseson children with disabilities. Informa-tive and creative, it educates studentsabout bullying prevention and sug-gests methods to respond in bullyingsituations. The site features animatedcharacters, information, celebrity vid-eos, Webisodes, interactive games,contests, and other activities. Parentsand professionals will find helpful tips,

intervention strategies, and resourcesfor use at home or school, www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org

Steps you can take

Learn more about bullying and thedynamics that lead to it. Consciously workwith coiieagues to build a classroom inwhich every child feels valued and accepted.Notice incidents of bullying that still mayoccur. Even as you intervene, study thesituations. Work to make these conflictsinto learning experiences for the childreninvoived, the ciass, fellow staff, and families.

References

Beane. A.L. 2005. TTie bully free classroom:Over 100 tips and strategies for teachers K-H.Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing.

Gartrell, D. 2007. A guidance approach for theencouraging classroom. 4th ed. Clifton Park,NY: Delmar Cengage Learning.

Hoover, J.H., & R. Oliver. 1996. The bullyingpre-vention handbook. Bloomington, IN: NationalEducation Service.

Nansel. TR., M. Overpeck. R.S. Pilla, W.J. Ruan,B. Simons-Morton. & P. Scheidt. 2001. Bully-ing behaviors among U.S. youth: Prevalenceand association with psychosocial adjust-ment. Journal of the American Medical Asso-ciation 285 C16): 2094-100.

Paley, V.G. 1992. You can't .say you can'I play.Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Sprung, B., M. Froschl, & B. Hinitz. 2005. Theanti-bullying and leasing book for preschoolclassrooms. Beltsville, MD: Gryphon House.

Copyright © 2008 by Ihe National Association for the Education of Young Children. See Permissions and Reprints online at www.

journal.naeyc.org/about/permissions.asp.

Voung Children • May 2008 57