CSU Issues Warning of coming layoffs

(CSULA - UT) CSULA Public Affairs sent out a notice to employees that they may be facing furloughs, salary reductions and unpaid holidays due to budget reductions between $400 million and $700 million. According to the press release from public affairs, at a CSU leaders meeting June 3rd Chancellor Charles B. Reed said that his goal is to provide an action plan developed in consultation with the presidents and trustees. Reed stressed that no decisions have been made, but the magnitude of the cuts means that all options need to be on the table as no single solution or approach can create the savings the CSU needs. The guiding principle behind the decisions, Reed said, will be “to serve as many students as possible without sacrificing quality and to preserve as many jobs as possible.”

In order to compensate with budget cuts the CSU has implemented salary freezes for the vice president and chancellor level positions and student enrollment caps for the first time in history this year. The looming $24.3 billion state deficit means more action will need to be taken. Under the most recent budget proposal by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the CSU faces reductions in state support between 16 and 20 percent.

California State Controller, John Chiang warned of a financial meltdown within seven weeks after a

precipitous drop in state revenues in May. Chiang said Governor Schwarzenegger and lawmakers must quickly plug a $24.3 billion budget gap or the state will run out of cash.

“A truly balanced budget is the only responsible way out of the worst cash crisis since the Great Depression,” Chiang said.

He added that revenues from personal income taxes fell 39.3 percent in May from a year earlier while revenues from corporate taxes fell by 52.1 percent and revenues from sales taxes were down by 7.6 percent.

Schwarzenegger has called for deep spending cuts, borrowing from local governments and closing down some state programs, including its welfare program.

For several of us at The Ear, tomorrow will be the last day

that we’ll walk this campus’s hallways and walkways. After years of making these buildings our home, it is time for us to step out there, into the real world.

It has been a long time c o m i n g , and yet, it is just starting to sink in. Somehow it

is just becoming clear that next week we won’t have to drive back here, that we won’t sweat coming up the steep steps from the parking lots, and that we won’t see you guys sitting on the lawn reading the paper, anymore.

For a first time, the mundane and the routine are turning emotional. We have begun to think how different life will be outside of our dorms, without our roommates, our classmates, and the parties at Garfonos… How much we will miss the feeling we get upon stepping onto the track for a good run… How much impact working as a team here at the U.T. has had on our personalities ... And how much of a difference those who teach, not just as a career but as a vocation, like professors Michael Calabrese, Jim Garrett and Tony Cox, have made in the course that our lives are taking.

Anyhow, those of us leaving take this chance to say good-bye. Although, who knows, perhaps some may

JUNE 11 , 2009

university timesthe www.coolstatela.com

C A L I F O R N I A S T A T E U N I V E R S I T Y , L O S A N G E L E S 1 8 9 . 1 1

Students turn to on-line courses p.2

THE EAR

A fulfilling and moving ballet p.5

Photos from the CSU-LA Film Fest p.4

Profs from abroad come to CSULA p.6

See: EAR, P.2See: BUDGET, P.3

Graduation week at CSUs: As thousands leave the university to enter an uncertain job market, CSU sends notice to employees warning of pending layoffs due to state budget crisis

STILL MANY QUESTIONS IN CAMPUS DEATH(CSULA - UT) Wednesday afternoon, June 3rd, the body of a 42-year-old female was found in her dorm room in Housing Phase I. According to campus police, foul play has been ruled out as cause of death, although the circumstances surrounding her death have not yet been disclosed, pending further blood work and toxicology testing. Lieutenant Fred Corral of the Investigation Division of the Los Angeles County Coroner’s office reported that during a routine check of the dormitories, the University Housing

personnel found the body of the deceased woman and immediately called campus police. Lieutenant Corral confirmed the identity of the woman as Andrea Laura Zamparelli. Captain John Kades, also from the Investigation Division of the Coroner’s office, reported the time of death as June 3rd at 4:30pm, which is when paramedics arrived.

CSULA Psychology and Sociology departments were contacted for verification of her student status and both stated that the deceased was not

DARK DAYS AHEAD FOR CSU SYSTEM

DTK: A ‘Blade Runner’ Sequel? p.7

See: STUDENT, P.6

June 11, 2009University Times NEWS2

Rejection can be hard for everyone

(CSULA—UT) Once upon a time applying for admission to CSULA was a much simpler process. If you had the GPA and filled out the forms accurately and well before the cut-off deadline, then the chances were fairly good you’d be accepted.

No longer. As a result of the budget crisis in Sacramento, an increasing number of otherwise eligible prospective students are being told there’s no more room at the U. Frequently, the unpleasant duty of telling an applicant the bad news, face-to-face, no less, is the responsibility of Admissions personnel.

Admissions’ personnel must explain to applicants why they are not eligible for admission or how another student was able to got in before they did. Staff members understand how important a good education is to being successful, and they regret that they cannot admit everyone.

“We have to understand, because we have all been students,” says John Slanina, a consultant at the admissions office. “They are beginning the rest of their lives.”

Slanina explains that some students have been denied admission because their transfers did not come in on time and it was impossible to make an exception for them. Even the Educational Opportunity Program, he says, is often not able to help. Most of the exceptions they are able to make, he adds, have to do with returning older students who have larger quotas compared to the freshmen and transfer students.

While having enough room for all who apply is always an issue, the budget cuts in California have significantly narrowed the window of opportunity. There are new time constraints

in force now which reward the applicant who can first come up with the cash.

In the Fall of 2009 CSULA is requiring applicants to pay an enrollment confirmation deposit of $100, in addition to the application fee. The announcement adds that the school has a limited number of spaces for first-time students, and that they will be chosen based on who turns in their transcripts and the $100 the earliest.

According to Slanina only 1,900 first-time freshmen will be admitted this fall and increasingly the Admissions staff will be forced to turn people away simply because they came later than others, essentially saying “Thank you for choosing us. We are so glad you applied and you are perfectly qualified – but we’re FULL.”

In the past, mostly ineligible students were turned away but now the paradigm has changed. It’s the early bird (with the $100) that is going to get the worm.

Even after turning down an applicant, the Admissions’ staff tries to provide them with alternatives, such as the possibility of attending community college and re-applying in the future.

Still, the process is sometimes depressing and frustrating for staff who say it can be very sad and take a toll emotionally. The silver lining is, however, that sometimes they get to help someone or solve a glitch that might have prevented a student from graduating.

Some students come back to the department to thank them. Others, Slanina says, “come back and say ‘I’m graduating this term!’” There is a lot that Admissions’ staff can do to help, and those are the moments that make their jobs worthwhile.

ADMISSIONSLIMITS TAKE A TOLL ON STAFF On-line courses can

be a less-stressful alternatives to classroom learning

Online courses are becoming an alternative

outlet for adult students trying to increase their skill levels or finish a degree while still working full-time and taking care of family responsibilities.

Taking courses online can save time. There’s no getting dressed for school, driving through traffic, finding parking, and then hoofing it to class. Students with full-time jobs can use their lunch breaks to keep up with lectures online. Or if a student is taking care of a family, they can take their online courses during the time their kids are at school or taking a nap.

The high rate of unemployment has made many two-year colleges and private post-secondary institutions anticipate a rise in enrollment for online courses. According to a 2008 Sloan Survey of Online Learning, tough economic times have a positive effect on education. People who have difficulties finding employment pursue further education to help their advancement for future career opportunities and in time, when the economy recovers and the job market improves, they will have better qualifications to apply for the job they want. The Sloan Survey indicated there has been a 12.9 percent growth rate in online enrollments, a figure that far exceeded the 1.2 percent growth of the overall education student population. More than 2.9 million students took at least one online course in fall of 2007, a 12 percent increase over 2006.

At CSULA, twenty-five online courses were offered

during Spring 2009 and twelve courses are being offered for Summer 2009. These include lower and upper division General Education courses, upper G.E. theme courses, and graduate level courses.

Chris Nguyen, a senior and Communications major, supports the idea of having more online courses. “We should have more online

courses because since we are a commuter school, a lot of students are not only going to school, but also working full time jobs and taking care of family. Online courses can accommodate for students as far as saving time and money.”

AJ Mendoza, a freshman and also a Communications major, likes online courses for their stress-free environment. “You don’t have to worry about driving to school, dealing with traffic, and feeling pressed for time. Online courses are very flexible. You can take them in the comfort of your home.”

Besides taking online classes to save transportation costs, some students have decided to change to part-time status to save money during the economic downfall.

According to Erica Pimental from CSULA Cashier’s Office, the cost of taking 6 units and below is $792.25. To be enrolled full-time for 6 units or more, the tuition costs $1,218.25.

Mendoza and Nguyen stated that they both spend about $2000.00 per quarter on tuition, books, gas, parking, and food. The difference in enrolling as a part-time students versus full-time is that it still leaves students an extra $426.00 to cover their gas bill, their textbooks, parking permits, and food. If a student were to take one online course, it can save them some money compared to attending school because they do not have to worry about additional expenses like gas or parking. Students who qualify for loans do not have to pull out so much money per quarter to cover their expenses.

However some students still prefer being in the classroom environment because it is more conducive to learning.Nguyen says he would rather attend classes than take online courses because of the experience he gets from being in a classroom. “I like the interactive experience you get from the classroom. It is very enriching because I feel that I can grasp more knowledge from lectures by actually being there.”

“I would rather go to class,” says Mendoza. “I feel I need to be in a learning environment in order to absorb more information. If I were at home, it would be harder for me to focus. Being in a classroom also gives students the opportunity to ask the professor and fellow classmates for help with class materials.”Student Online Courses

STUDENTS FIND VALUE IN ON-LINE COURSES

get to see you again later on from the “grad” side of the fence.

However, dear readers, do not worry. Those of us leaving make up only the

left Ear… the Right Ear is still staying! and it will continue listening around campus, always interested in bringing to you the latest.Keep up the good work… and see you sooner than later out there, in the real world…

EARFrom: p.1

Call the University Times at 323. 343. 4215 for more info

EARN $$$HAVE FUN!

Freshman Comm Studies stu-dent AJ Mendozalikes online courses for their stress-free environment.

UT UT

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June 11, 2009 University TimesNEWS 3

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With the failure of Governor Schwarzenegger’s budget cutting propositions in the May 19th special elections there is a significant chance that CSULA will have to drastically cut services. President Rosser warned this would be the case before the election. “If the measures on May 19th don’t pass there is a strong likelihood institutions like Cal State L.A. may have to shut down,” said the President.

The legislature is crafting an alternative budget plan that includes spending cuts and saves programs Schwarzenegger wants to eliminate. The plan proposes to use funds that Schwarzenegger had planned to set aside for reserve.

Senate President Darrell Steinberg said this week he is aiming for a budget by the end of this month.

California’s new fiscal year begins on July 1. The sooner the state has a budget signed into law, the more it is able

to raise short-term funds to subsidize its operations.

Among Governor S c h w a r z e n e g g e r ’ s proposals was one to completely cut Cal Grants.

The Cal Grant program has existed in some form since the mid-1950s and was expanded in 2001 as a privilege of the state. It covered virtually all low-income graduates of state high schools attending private or public two-year or four-year colleges or career institutes. As of 2009, there are over 300,000 recipients of the Cal Grant. At CSU campuses, 25.2 percent of all students receive some form of Cal Grant award.

S c h w a r z e n e g g e r ’ s proposal included: eliminating all Cal Grant funding for new college students and ending the increase of funds for current students based on rising student fees.

Last Friday, a 10-member

panel of senate and assembly members voted to reject governor Schwarzenegger’s

proposal to cut Cal Grants, the state’s primary scholarship program.

On Wednesday, May 28th, Schwarzenegger proposed a

plan to phase out California support for the Cal Grant program as one solution to

the state’s budget deficit.

H.D. Palmer, spokesman for the state’s Department of Finance, said the governor took “no pleasure” in his plan and was open to other ideas. “We have been forced to put forward proposals that would have been unthinkable even a few short months ago,” Palmer said.

According to Schwarzenegger, if passed, the proposal would have saved the state $173 million in 2009-10 and $450 million in 2010-11.

California State Universities and schools in the California Community College System were unsure how to respond to the proposal.

A group of UCLA students formed an association called Save Cal Grants to fight the governor’s proposal. They went to Sacramento on June

1st to testify in front of a group of state legislators.

“We were putting a face to the issue and [giving] a student’s perspective,” said Li.

Their pleas were heard. The committee’s final vote was 6-4, with Republicans voting against killing the governor’s proposal, but Democrats, prevailed and the program remains intact.

“The idea of eliminating Cal Grants is beyond comprehension to me and I can’t go there,” said San Fernando Valley Democratic assembly member Bob Blumenfield.

Sen. Denise Ducheny argued that with college classes set to start within a few months, “It wouldn’t be right to take back the cash grant awards already promised to students.” While this matter has been decided on, the fight is not over. The budget committee has begun meeting this week to discuss alternative solutions.

BUDGETFrom: p.1

See: BUDGET, P.6

June 11, 2009University Times NEWS4

THE 10TH ANNUAL CSULA FILM FESTIVAL

1 2

3

4 5

6 On Friday, May 29, CSULA hosted the 10th Annual Student Film Festival, showcasing short works made by CSULA students. The festival was divided into two parts, with a four hour screening of all student entries, and a two hour award celebration screen-ing of the 18 selected finalists. The awards celebration filled the Luckman Intimate Theatre with faculty, students and family alike.

Captions. (Photos courtesy of the Film Festival curators)

1. The festival was a grand, showy occassion.

2. 1st place finalists were awarded the beautiful soaring eagle award. 2nd place and 3rd place winners also took home statues and plaques repectivly.

3. Student filmmakers, teachers, family and friends filled the seats at the Luckman Intimate Theatre.

4. Faculty member and grad student Matt Gatlin won two awards for films he submitted.

5. (L to R) Film festival curators Marvel Zamora, Karol Hernan-dez, Prof. John Ramirez, Danielle Mitchell and Festival Director Doug Robertson.

6. Stars of the 1st place award winning film Jock Butterscotch Charles Alan Jones and Jospeh Silva.

UT

June 11, 2009 University TimesNEWS 5

Ladies run the show at the Ballet Hispanico

By Kelly Kreuzberger

One of the most powerful and fulfilling ballets

of the season took place this last weekend at the Ahmanson Theater. What set this ballet apart from others was the role of the female dancers. In essence, while women do play strong roles in ballet, normally the audience seems more eager to see the physical prowess of the dominant male lead. This was not the case for Ballet Hispanico.

The ladies ran this show, in support and as leads. And through this gender swap the fourth wall was not only broken down, it was shattered into a million bits and danced gleefully on.

The first dance number, Club Havana, gave a beautiful start to the evening, bringing all the dancers to the stage. Wrapped in the number was Cha Cha Cha, a hot little number with two males and a female lead danced by Angelica Burgos. She was on fire, playing with her two partners with all the force and assurance of a dominate (yet sexy) woman. They ended the set with a Rhumba which, while it didn’t bring people to their feet, certainly set a current of electricity into the air.

Another powerful piece was Carmen which was capped with an explosive ending that was one of the night’s high points. Again, Burgos was stage front, burning

with passion, her scarlet dress flowing about her, taking on a life of its own, telling its own story. As she danced with her Don Jose, one could easily see the story unfold between the two unlikely lovers. And when she threw herself into death, throwing the red folds of her skirt into the air, the audience erupted into applause and tears. It was a truly moving number.

The closing number, Ritmo y Ruido, raised the bar for other ballets and will not be easily forgotten. What was risky is that it incorporated dance from the 60s with long ponytails and snaps. And while this era puts

most to sleep, the way Ballet Hispanico delivered it made the audience beg for more. It was resplendent with spotlights and sharp lighting against dark backgrounds that built into something wild and raw. Midway through the dancers segued into a more ethnic dance style, running through the set’s African savannah while African drums hammered in the background. They ran into the air, leaping into each other’s arms and throwing their legs out from underneath them.

From start to finish, Ballet Hispanico satisfied. More than that, they startled, amazed, inspired.

A POWERFUL AND FULFILLING BALLET

Photos courtesy of Ballet HispanicoThe ensemble cast of the powerful Ballet Hispanico

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TAKE NOTE2009 Undergraduate and Graduate CommencementThe 2009 Cal State L.A. Commencement ceremo-nies will be spread over two days.

Friday 5 p.m. Ceremony: Charter College of Edu-cation, College of Engineering, Computer Science, and Technology, and College of Health and Human Services.

Saturday 8 a.m. Ceremony: College of Arts and Letters, College of Business and Economics, and College of Natural and Social Sciences.

UT

Beauty and grace were the staples of the show.

June 11, 2009University Times NEWS6

Exchange program brings foreign scholars to campus

(CSULA-UT) Biochemistry professors Shamsulrahim Rahim and Ziaauddin Azimi left Kabul University (KU) in Afghanistan in order to spend ten weeks studying in the laboratories of CSULA.

Rahim is a professor at KU’s medical school and Azimi is a professor at KU’s pharmacy school. Jamil Momand, director of the CSULA Southern California Bioinformatics Summer Institute and ten-year CSULA biochemistry professor

arranged the trip for the two professors.

The trip came from Momand’s desire to assist in establishing a highly educated Afghanistan. After visiting KU in 2006 and working in the biochemistry medical and pharmacy schools there, Momand returned home because of a fear of terrorist bombings. Upon returning, Momand drafted a proposal to bring Rahim and Azimi to the U.S. to help them develop a university curriculum at KU. He was able to receive a grant funded by the Koshland Foundation, a civic unity program providing resources for the community.

Rahim and Azimi are both taking English courses for reading and writing, and courses on advanced biotechnology techniques in research labs.

Momand wants the professors to learn updated lab practices and return to KU to revise their curriculum. “I hope they can adopt the lab practices that they receive here, “ said Momand. “Their equipment has not been updated since the 70’s. I would like to continue this project. We just need a steady source of funds to carry this out.”

TWO AFGHAN PROFS TO SPEND WEEKS AT CSULA

Dr Melvin Donalson, the Acting Chair of Pan African Studies, is not at all surprised by the recent developments. “Unfortunately, this is nothing new. It is a political game. When running for office elected officials make profound promises in education. However, during economic downturns they cut education first. It is disappointing that again and again the state’s priorities are never for the welfare and benefit of those who need it most: the children, elderly, the dispossessed; were it be with a home, or job. Instead they are targeted.”

With California’s economy further contracting, officials must decide how to spend what remains from a reduced budget. According to a spokesperson for the governor’s finance department, there is hope to ease the devastation by offering unpleasant options such as allowing districts to

tap their reserves and federal economic stimulus dollars to lessen the effect of the cuts. Other options include allowing districts to loosen regulations by cutting days off the school year, delaying replacing textbooks, and diverting class reduction funds for other purposes.

School boards across the states are set to vote on budgets by July, while district officials are prohibited from laying off additional instructors, moving the cuts elsewhere.

Districts will be eliminating summer school, after-school programs and switching some employees to a ten-month work year. The LA unified school district announced last week that it was cancelling most of its summer school programs, leaving about a quarter of a million students scrambling to find classes. The nine-campus LA community college district is eliminating its second summer session, despite the fact that there are 10,000 students already enrolled.

This will affect college students doing internships with after-school programs, or with part-time jobs as tutors.U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan recently told the Los Angeles Times that there is no guarantee that federal stimulus dollars will be available to help the state: “The state is at a fork in the road and officials will either decide to have the courage to do the right thing by its children and create the possibility of bringing in literally hundreds of millions of dollars in competitive grants at a time of tremendous financial need, or the state can choose to perpetuate the status quo and leave those resources on the table.”

Dr. Donalson adds, “ What is frustrating is that in periods of economic hardships officials can’t seem to find solutions, particularly those in the leadership.”

The U.C system faces up to a $531 million shortfall, while the CSU system faces a $410 million shortfall for the coming year.

BUDGETFrom: p.3

a student in any of their programs. Her Facebook profile states that she was in the class of 1994 at UCLA, although, according to the CSULA Registrar’s office, there is no degree on file for her. They also confirmed that she is not a Psychology and/or Sociology major. The Chair of the division of Special Education and Counseling at the Charter College of Education, Dr. Randy Campbell, also confirmed that she was not part of the department, though the registrar’s office indicates that she could be in one of the CCOE programs. The Office of the Dean for CCOE declined to comment on the student’s status.

Zamparelli was registered with the Office of Student’s with Disabilities (OSD), although no information on her disability has been disclosed. She was known to have a service dog, which was barking during discovery of her body. The

OSD and other University offices have declined to comment for this story; federal privacy laws and university policy largely prohibits their disclosing such information.

Family members of the deceased contacted the UT to provide what details they could. They described a loving and generous woman who was dedicated to nature, animals and above all to education. Zamparelli was from a tightly-knit Pasadena area family of accomplished artists and entertainment industry figures. One family member said “it was hard to sit there and smile, knowing [she] was dead.” Another described Zamparelli’s boyfriend as ‘devastated’ by her death. Funeral services are pending. Andrea Zamparelli is survived by siblings, parents, and a broad circle of friends. (NB: when the funeral arrangements are announced, they will be posted by our online partner CoolStateLA.com for students, faculty or staff who would like to attend the service.)

STUDENTFrom: p.1

CORRECTIONCorrection: in the May 21st issue of the University Times, student Carlos Jimenez was described as a ‘previously disqualified presidential candidate.’ Mr. Jimenez was never a candidate, and therefore not disqualified. Also, in the May 28th issue, Mr. Jimenez was described as a ‘Senior in Business.’ In fact, Mr. Jimenez is a second year student, double majoring in Applied Economics and Political Science. The UT regrets the error

Professor Jamil Momand, director of Southern California Bioinformatics Summer Institute

MESSAGE FROM THE UT STAFF!!

******Have a great and happy Summer! And for those graduating, good luck in the future!******

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June 11, 2009 University TimesNEWS 7

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Exposing Shell Oil Company’s environmental duplicity

In late April, Shell Oil sponsored the ‘Shell Eco Marathon/Amer i ca s ’

competition, an annual event to achieve new records in fuel efficiency. The CSULA engineering team participated in the four-day event (which boasted a $10,000 grand prize) along with 37 other schools from around the world.

Meanwhile, a few weeks later, Shell was also scheduled to go on trial in a Federal Court in New York for complicity in human rights abuses in Nigeria. The charges against Shell included the company’s responsibility for the summary execution of Nigerian environmental activist-writer Ken Saro-Wiwa and eight of his colleagues.

Shell’s support of eco-friendly campus initiatives in the U.S. while at the same time coddling despotic military rulers has raised some concerns among members of the CSULA campus community. Some faculty and students argue that CSULA may be on a slippery slope to becoming an unknowing corporate shill. They question Shell Eco Marathon’s intentions, feeling that the competition was simply a marketing tool to improve Shell’s public image

On competition day the yellow Shell logo was visible everywhere: on flags, signs, hats, t-shirts, gear--even the banners of the 38 schools participating. The official rules dictated that each entry vehicle must have a Shell logo on the front and side, with 10cm of space on all four sides of the emblem. In addition, any other sponsors or names on entries had to be smaller than the Shell logo.

It was a happy shiny day for happy shiny people. Meanwhile, 3000 miles away in a New York clerk’s office (and halfway around the world in West Africa), Shell was being accused of complicity in crimes against humanity, torture, arbitrary arrest and detainment—charges that extend back to 1956. It is asserted that Shell was involved in the demise of the Ogoni tribe of the Niger Delta. In the 1980s, Shell built a pipeline through the delta which severely stressed the region’s eco-system, poisoning the rivers, killing the fish the Ogoni relied upon and eventually destroying the local food chain of the jungle

The trial has been postponed a number of times. On June 3, Chief Judge Kimba Wood indefinitely adjourned the proceedings. However, on the same day the plaintiffs declared a victory in the Second Circuit Court of Appeals which rejected Shell’s attempt to get the case thrown out.

Since the 1980s activists have blasted Shell’s policies in Nigeria, calling upon governments to intercede. Things came to a head in Nigeria when the government executed nine Ogoni who were heading up the opposition to Shell in Nigeria . Although Shell has publically stated, “We don’t support the government’s extreme methods,” they are suspected of having paid the Nigerian government to end the nuisance.

The best known of the victims was Ken Saro Wiwa, an author and environmentalist who won the Goldman Environmental Prize for his work and was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994. He became a human rights activist by accident when oil corporations began to trample on the livelihood of his home and his people. When Saro-Wiwa gained public support by speaking out, he was arrested and charged with treason. Following a quick trial and despite international protests, Saro-Wiwa and eight of his Ogoni associates were hung by the Nigerian government on November 10, 1995.

Fo r t u n e m a g a z i n e

s e n i o r reporter Jon Birger has been reporting on oil companies for many years. Birger concedes that Shell has a history of providing financial support for science and research projects. In 2007 Birger wrote The Bravest Woman In Oil an article on Ann Pickard, Shell’s current head honcho in Nigeria. Pickard coordinated battered women’s shelters in the 1980s before joining corporate America and Birger does not deny that her appointment might have been a PR move to improve Shell’s image.

“Every company is marketing an image, no matter who they are,” says Birger. “Shell sponsors the Eco-Marathon like the local bank sponsors a little league.”

With Shell working intently on its image, universities are also responsible to come out of a state of complacency and look beyond the surface. As an former member of the US/Nigeria oil community points out “Putting green in the same sentence as Shell is insulting.”

CSULA’s participation in the Shell Eco-Marathon may inadvertently help Shell distract attention from other issues in a race against controversy and exposure. But with the Federal court trial about to begin, the engines are running, and the words “ready, set, go” are alive.

In light of the recent success of films featuring Robots, such as Terminator:

Salvation, The Day The Earth Stood Still, Transformers and the highly-anticipated Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, production has begun on the sequel to the classic Sci-Fi classic Blade Runner.

Blade Runner 2: Return of the Nexus will begin production in early January and producers hope to release it in early summer. Michael Bay is currently set to direct, with Jerry Bruckheimer producing. Ridley Scott and Blade Runner star Harrison Ford have sworn off the project, calling it “crass,” “meaningless,” and “retarded.”

Bruckheimer has come out vocally against these comments. “This is not your daddy’s Blade Runner. This will have massive-scale battles on the moon and will feature truly terrifying cyborgs, or whatever. It will really be a rollercoaster ride to fun!”

For people who were emotionally or existentially confused by the original story of a man searching for his humanity in a heartless future, Bruckheimer promises no moral ambiguity in Blade Runner 2.

“Here’s all you need to know,” Bruckheimer said, during a press conference. “The people are the good guys, the robots or whatever are the bad guys, and they want to kill the hell out of each other.”

The film will take place 5 years after the events of the previous film, and will feature an entire cast of good-looking 20somethings fresh out of acting school. Casting Director

Linda Hamm said she chose this route for two reasons.

“We really wanted to cast unknowns, like they did in the first Blade Runner,” said Hamm, who apparently didn’t know Harrison Ford had already been in two Star Wars films and Raiders of the Lost Arc before Blade Runner had even been made. “Also, I’ve read the script,” Hamm continued, “And no one really needs to act in it. It’s a lot of running and jumping and shooting. At least 80 percent of it is computer generated. We could cast this thing with monkeys and it would be about the same.”

Movie fans and film students the world over cried out in

impotent, frustrated anger simultaneously

when the news of this production was

first posted on Variety.

“What? What the hell?” Screamed Victor Mandiri, a USC Film student when he read the news. “This is so demoralizing! Hollywood has NO imagination! What are they going to do next, remake Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?!”

When informed that they had already remade Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid last year, Mandiri began slamming his head into his desk repeatedly until falling into a bloody concussed sleep.

Bruckheimer responded to the over-whelming negative response from fans and casual moviegoers alike.

“It doesn’t matter what these people say,” said Bruckheimer. “I’ve been making movies for decades. Trust me, if there are robots, shiny lights, gun fire and explosions people will show up in droves.”

No film critic or professor could be found who could argue Bruckheimer’s assertion. Most of them read it, attempted futilely to craft a response, but instead began sobbing hysterically.

DRINKING THE KOOL-AIDHOLLYWOOD TO SPIT OUT TERRIBLE ‘BLADE RUNNER’ SEQUEL

By Zach Seemayer

THE ULTIMATE SHELL GAME

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June 11, 2009University Times NEWS8

BACK STORY

Please Drink Responsibly.

HISTORY MAJORS HAVE MORE SEX

A recent survey of more than 850 students by the Oxford University student newspaper found that undergraduate historians are more sexually active than their counterparts. Students studying politics came in second, followed by philosophy, economics and English literature majors. The survey also found that almost 50% of respondents engaged in unprotected sex. Additionally, more than half of those surveyed said they had never been tested for an STD. A spokesman for St. Anne’s College said that a lack of knowledge of the risks likely contributes to the high number of students engaging in unprotected sex.

NO FRANCO AT UCLA

Earlier this year actor James Franco, known for recent roles in “Pineapple Express” and “Milk,” agreed to be the keynote speaker at UCLA’s graduation ceremony. After the announcement was made members of the student body got up in arms over the choice, going so far as to even create a Facebook page protesting the actor’s participation. However, this past week the actor announced that he would not longer be able to keep his commitment to the address the graduating class of 2009, due to scheduling conflicts with his newest film. Those at UCLA, though, wonder whether the choice was made because of the conflict or the student movement against his

address. Franco and UCLA officials have yet to address the lingering question.

UCLA LAB DEATH

UCLA has appealed state regulators’ findings in last year’s death of lab assistant Sheri Sangji. Sangji died in a fire that was determined to be a result of her lack of training or protective clothing. UCLA officials say the required changes have been made and fines of $31,000 have subsequently been paid. The appeal will allow UCLA to stipulate that it admits no fault in connection with the findings, a move aimed at limiting the university’s liability. The family of the victim is pushing for an external investigation into the incident.

CREDIT CARD CONCERNS

The United States is said to be a country with a “culture of debt,” with the average American being $8,500 in debt. Recently the “Credit Cardholders’ Bill of Rights Act of 2009” was signed into law. This law is meant to help consumers however if you are in college, it may not be such a great law. People under the age of 21 will now find it harder to get a credit card and must have a co-signer in order to enter into a credit card contract. Those under 21 will also find it hard to get credit cards with large limits, which is especially troubling for students with college costs continually on the rise. Although the bill will help students stay away from credit card debt, they will be forced to look elsewhere to cover school costs.

NOT ‘FREE TO BE’The California Department of Education is working to remove an abstinence-only group from speaking in classrooms in the Golden State. The group, known as Free to Be, sends teens into classrooms to present the argument that abstinence until marriage is the correct choice. A federal program that gives money to groups and schools who teach abstinence funded the group. California schools do not participate in the program, however, and argue that the group’s teachings are violating the California education code. In Northern California, the Sonoma County Office of Education has decided to remove the group from its campuses. Free to Be is reviewing its options with their attorneys.

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