critical conversations - nebraska · emotional intelligence critical conversation model ccm: one on...

11/2/19

1

CONVERSATIONS

CRITICAL

THE COURAGE TO SHOW UP

DIANNA [email protected]

1

1

Today’s Agenda

What we’re covering today.

EXECUTIVE PRESENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

CRITICAL CONVERSATION MODELCCM: ONE ON ONE

CLOSING THOUGHTS

CCM: ONE TO MANY

2

2

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.sadlouskos.com/

11/2/19

2

EXECUTIVE PRESENCE

A mix of mindset, skills, and behaviors that manifests into a multi-dimensional confident and influential presence.

S O C I A L I N T E L L I G E N C E

T E C H N I C A L C O M P E T E N C E

A B S T R A C T/ C O N C E P T U A L

T H I N K I N G

EXECUTIVE PRESENCE


3

3

NOTES

4

4

11/2/19

3




T H I N K I N G

EXECUTIVE PRESENCE


EXECUTIVE PRESENCE: A MODEL

Using emotional information to guide strategic thinking and behavior.

Intellectual capital built through developing knowledge (subject matter expertise).

A mix of mindset, skills, and behaviors that manifests in a multi-dimensional, confident, and influential presence.

External functioning: Social awareness and facility, the management of how others perceive you.

Creative ability to employ complex and strategic analytical thinking and rapidly synthesize disparate concepts into concrete consumable communication.

5

5

WHAT IS IT?

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

What are common communication scenarios in the workplace?

Who do you believe is an effective communicator/ role model? Why?

What are examples of successful communication scenarios?

What are critical success factors in effective communication- why communication goes well?

6

6

11/2/19

4


Definition

What is Emotional Intelligence?• How you translate your awareness about how well you

perceive & express yourself, develop & maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in meaningful ways.

Emotional Intelligence and Improved Leadership Aptitude• Consistent understanding and control over one’s emotional

state• Skills development and maintenance of desired personal

relationships• Increased capacity to manage conflict through empathetic

understanding7

7

EQi Model

8

8

11/2/19

5

9

NOTES

9

CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS

REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT


FullApproach

• What are my goals?• What are his/her possible goals?• How will I get into the right

frame of mind to have this conversation?

• What are other possible reflection points?

• What does success look like?• What information do I need?• What talking points will help

move us forward?• What are other options?

• Actively listen.• Ask questions.• Start conversation with, “I’d

like to discuss x with you, but first, I’d like to hear your perspective.”

• Define next steps.

Questions to Answer:• What are our agreed upon

concrete steps forward?• How will we

communicate?• What went well (link back

to reflection)?

10

10

11/2/19

6

MAIN IDEA

QUESTION

OTHER

QUESTION

OTHER

QUESTION

OTHER

QUESTION

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

IDEAIDEAIDEA

CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS: MINDMAPPING CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS

REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

OTHER

11

11

12

NOTES

12

11/2/19

7

PEER PROMOTION• Jane and John (peers) applied for

a promotional position• John receives the promotion.• Three-months post-promotion,

Jane & John have still not discussed new roles and impact on their relationship

Question: How should Jane plan for this conversation?

INSTRUCTIONS• Break into groups of three.• Use the Critical Conversations framework

to plan for the conversation.• Use the mind mapping tool to develop

ideas for Step 1 and Step 2 using mind mapping tool to develop ideas.

• For Step 3 document strategies for being successful.

• For Step 4 identify possible next steps.

GROUP EXERCISE

13

13

NOTES

14

14

11/2/19

8

Communication Planning for Building Buy In with GroupsStep 1: Complete critical conversation four-step approach with the group meeting in mind

Step 2: Develop a list of stakeholders

Step 3: Identify each stakeholder as resistant, neutral, or supportive

Step 4: Plot on stakeholder map & develop communication strategy

Step 5: Identify which key stakeholders to meet with individually prior to group meeting

Step 6: Reflect on findings and update critical conversation planning for group meeting

GROUP CONVERSATIONS

Six Steps


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

15

15

INVOLVE

INFORM

CONSULT

MONITOR

INTEREST

INFLUE

NCE

HIGH INFLUENCE / HIGH INTEREST

LOW INFLUENCE / HIGH INTERESTLOW INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST

HIGH INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST

RESISTANT

NEUTRAL

SUPPORTIVE

STAKEHOLDER RATING

GROUP CONVERSATIONS

Stakeholder Mapping


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

16

16

11/2/19

9

GROUP CONVERSATIONS

Six Steps Building Buy-In for IT Strategic PlanSara, the CIO has facilitated a campus-wide process technology strategic planning process. The strategic plan needs cabinet approval to be funded. Politics are in play as some initiatives related to some division priorities may not be fully funded due to resource constraints. The cabinet needs to be 100% on board in order to gain funding for the plan. Sarah will present the plan at the next cabinet meeting and then a vote will take place.

Cabinet members range from supporters to possible derailers in agreeing to fund the plan.

Question: What’s the most effective way to plan and facilitate the cabinet discussion?


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

17

17

INVOLVE

INFORM

CONSULT

MONITOR

INTEREST

INFLUE

NCE

HIGH INFLUENCE / HIGH INTEREST

LOW INFLUENCE / HIGH INTERESTLOW INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST

HIGH INFLUENCE / LOW INTEREST

CINDYCAROL

JOEJANE

AMY

STU

DAVE

TIM

BARB

BRIAN

RESISTANT

NEUTRAL

SUPPORTIVE

STAKEHOLDER RATING

• BRIAN• JANE• DAVE• CAROL• AMY

• STU• JOE• BARB• CINDY• TIM

STAKEHOLDERS

GROUP CONVERSATIONS

Six Steps


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

18

18

11/2/19

10

NOTES

19

19

Name Type Communication Plan Objective

Barb Supporter • Enlist Support

Jane Neutral • Identify position

Joe Resistant • Seek to understand

GROUP CONVERSATIONS

What are possible communication strategies for each stakeholder type?


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

20

20

11/2/19

11

BEST PRACTICES

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Define the problem to be solved in a way that serves mutual interests (value proposition). Consider how emotions, such as awareness of internal world, thoughts, emotions, distortions, desires, and needs, play into the scenario.Apply empathy skills.Know how to maintain your needs and wants while practicing compassion. Listen with intent and without distraction. Show genuine interest in other perspectives and indicate you heard what was said without prejudice.


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

21

21

SUMMARY

Know your triggers.

Create distance between you and the situation. • “I’d like to spend some time considering the situation. 15

minute break? Chat tomorrow?”

Consider alternative points of view.Practice difficult conversations in advance with a friend/trusted colleague.

BUILDING CONFLICT COMPETENCE


REFLECT

PLAN

ENGAGE

ACT

22

22

11/2/19

12




T H I N K I N G

EXECUTIVE PRESENCE


How Does Effective Communication Influence Executive Presence?

How do I manage how my emotions to translate into productive thinking and behavior?

What resource can I capitalize on for effective communication?

What is the overall mix of mindset, skills, and behaviors that are critical for success?

How does the synthesis of the three other pillars inform this social interaction?

What are the complexities inherent in this situation? How will I connect the dots, identify the patterns and synthesize into consumable communication?

23

23

NOTES

24

24

11/2/19

13

CONNECTING THE DOTSIntentional focus on career• Where do I want to be in 2 years?• What are my goals?• What actions will I take to “move the

needle?”• What skills am I building?• What wins/challenges occurred this week?• Brainstorms (mind-mapping)• Conversations/meeting prep notes & results• End of the week wrap up (5 minutes)

Ø What went well?Ø What could I have done better?Ø What’s up next week?

Career/Professional Development Notebook

25

25

Resources for more informationDavid, Susan. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. 2016

Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: How We can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential, 2016

Eurich, Tasha. Insight: the surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How we See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think. 2017

Goldsmith, Marshall. Triggers: How Behavior Change Begins, How to Make it Meaningful, How to Make it Last. 2015

Stein, Steven J. The EQ Leader: Instilling Passion, Creating Shared Goals, and Building Meaningful Organizations Through Emotional Intelligence. 2017

David, Susan. Emotional Intelligence in Tough Conversations .https://hbr.org/video/2942763781001/emotional-intelligence-in-tough-conversations. 2015

Eurich, Tasha. What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it. 2018.

Bernardo, Delores. You Just had a Difficult Conversation at Work. Here’s What to Do Next. https://hbr.org/2017/05/you-just-had-a-difficult-conversation-at-work-heres-what-to-do-next. 2017




T H I N K I N G

EXECUTIVE PRESENCE


26

26

https://hbr.org/video/2942763781001/emotional-intelligence-in-tough-conversations

https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it

https://hbr.org/2017/05/you-just-had-a-difficult-conversation-at-work-heres-what-to-do-next

critical conversations - nebraska · emotional intelligence critical conversation model ccm: one on...

Documents