creating a homedads social group a case study by martin hastings and benjamin whitaker, nct lewisham...
TRANSCRIPT
Creating a homedads social group
A case study by Martin Hastings and Benjamin Whitaker,
NCT Lewisham & Greenwich
Creating a homedads social group
scope of this presentation:• About us• Context of fatherhood and home dads• Origins of our dads group• Development: communication, social events• Future plans and challenges• Time for questions
• Approx. 30mins
About usMartin HastingsPrevious career in marketing and publishingLives in Blackheath Isabella 21months, second baby due 2 December 2009
Benjamin WhitakerPrevious career in museums and galleriesLives in New CrossIsaac 23months, second baby due 30 March 2010
Fatherhood now
Facts and figures:• In 2008 there were 189,000 ‘househusbands’ in the UK (ONS)
Since April 2008 the number of full-time fathers has risen 80% to over 350,000 (Tesco)
• 62% of fathers think that dads should spend more time caring for their children More than half of dads with children under 1year felt they were not able to devote enough time to their kids(Equality and Human Rights Commission)
• 82% of dads working full time would like to do more childcare (Fatherhood Institute)
Fatherhood now
• In 1 in 5 couples, the mother earns more than the father• 60% of women return to work after having a child• 38% of women with dependent children work part-time, compared to
4% of men • 50% of our dads in our group work part-time• Gordon Brown is proposing to give fathers the right to 6 month’s
paternity leave
The future: more fathers will seek more time at home to share in bringing up children
• Home dad? Stay at home dad? House-husband? Full time dad? Super Dad? Mr Mom? Marigold Man?!
Fatherhood in the newsMen should be encouraged to be full-time fathers (25 Oct 09)
“One couple I know in north London, who have a 10-month-old son, have switched roles with great success. And what the father, Jeremy, has found is that there are a whole community of similar "super-dads" in the local area.”Anushka Asthana
When Daddy is just an optional extra (4 Oct 09)
A study published by New Scientist magazine in July proved that fathers are "biologically programmed" to help raise children. A separate study using a monogamous breed of mice found that the absence of a father during the first few weeks of life causes their offspring to be less socially engaged.
Fatherhood in the newsFathers Gain Respect From Experts (and Mothers) (2 Nov 09)
As much as mothers want their partners to be involved with their children they often unintentionally discourage men from doing so. Because mothering is their realm, some women micromanage fathers and expect them to do things their way. Prof. Marsha Kline Pruett, Smith College School for Social Work, USA
“The walls in family centres are pink, there are women’s magazines in the waiting room, the mother’s name is on the files, and the home visitor asks for the mother if the father answers the door, It’s like fathers are not there.”
Prof. Emeritus Philip A. Cowan University of California, Berkeley
“Dads tend to discipline differently, use humour more and use play differently. Fathers want to show kids what’s going on outside their mother’s arms, to get their kids ready for the outside world.” To that end, they tend to encourage risk-taking and problem-solving.Dr. Kyle Pruett, Child Psychiatrist
Fatherhood in the newsWhy don't more dads work part-time? (21 Oct 09)
(on being a homedad) It has paid dividends in terms of how my kids feel about me and how I relate to them." He also argues it has made his relationship with [his partner] stronger.
(on time with his children) “It's such a fleeting time. I needed to grab as much time as possible to spend with [my son]."
(on his career) "Honestly? I thought it was less important than my son.“
Dan, homedad
"I am more contented than I have ever been. It's the sheer, bloody monotony that is difficult”Jake, homedad
"It depends on the economic circumstances of each family as to whether there would be take up for this kind of change, but I think part-time work is the ultimate answer for mothers and fathers.
The main problem is that men fear that if you do childcare rather than paid work, you lose a sense of who you are. Duncan Fisher, homedad
First Steps…
First Steps• ‘Handover’ month before wife went back to work –
Isabella 6 months old (Aug.08)• Need for contact with other dads• No dads groups in the area• Posters in park cafes, libraries (Aug.08) • Two initial NCT contacts: Ben & Andy (Sep.08)• Articles in branch magazine ‘Broodsheet’ (Nov.08)
Milestones • Met Dads co-ordinator for Greenwich council, Marc James (Jan.09 )• First Open House – 5 dads (Feb.09)• First contact with Sherington Childrens Centre (Mar.09)• First weekly ‘Stay & Play’ session: 8 dads (Apr.09)• 13 dads in group (May 09)• Stay & Play average: 5 dads (May.09)
Milestones• Funding of £1,400 from Awards For All (Jun.09)
leading to annual plan• Baby massage course (Jun.09)• Leaflets & business cards printed (Aug.09)• First dads’ night out (Aug.09)• Interest from journalists incl. BBC One Show (Sep.09)• Stay & Play average: 10 dads (Oct.09)• 20 dads in the group (Oct.09)
Communication
• Getting in touch, meeting up• E-mail bulletins• Marketing flyers and cards• Working with other dads groups
– DadsandLittluns, Oakey Blokes, FLAG, Tuesdads etc.
•Website, domain name: www.selondondads.org.uk•Improved traffic and search engine listing•Easier to remember•Better in print
•selondondads Yahoo! e-group
Communication
Social events• Regular weekly Stay and Play• Frequent get togethers• Day trips• Open Houses• Dads drinks• Stalls/activities at other NCT events
What next?
Vision, mission
• are we clear about what we are doing? • Does it need to change?• Growing remit? eg. working fathers• Reach other areas? • how fatherhood approached
within NCT?
What next?
Specific plans
• more stay and plays: next Jan 2010, other planned• quarterly drinks evenings• 1st aid courses to become regular• ante-natal classes for men: starting Jan 2010• Fundraising events• Further web developments
What next?Challenges
• Spend the rest of our budget by April!• Further research into fatherhood and homedads in the area• How to share responsibilities for the group• Plan an event to draw more dads in?
If I were you…• Find a dad to start things off• NCT branch magazine generates 50% of leads• Put posters in local cafes to spread the word• Use Children’s Centre facilities!• Each local council should have a dads rep.• Use NCT network / grapevine / contacts• It’s all about forming friendships• Failure is an option!
