create success ebook

7/31/2019 Create Success eBook

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Create

in your Work and Life

A collection of articles provided by Melanie Wass,

Natural Consulting.


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Hi there

Thanks for downloading this book.

Success leaves clues. This electronic book is a compilation of my own

and others articles. Each one will give you clues to follow to create

success in your life and work.

It is designed to give you a little inspiration to take some action to

make improvements in areas of your life or work that youd like tofocus on.

Ive put a one page action plan together for you to complete, so, as

you go through the articles, jot down things you can do differently in

future and then put a timeframe on each one.

Let me know how it works for you.

Best regards

Melanie


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2007 Melanie Wass Natural Consulting Page 1 of 50

7 Keys to Starting a New Job

1. Make an impression

- dress well, be on time, be friendly

- be organised, plan your day, collect names, numbers andemails

2. Connect

- bond with your colleagues

- ask for help

- remember names

3. Project Confidence

- read and understand your job role

- know the business, company, organisation

- add personal items to your workspace

4. Build Your Reputation

- first focus on your manner and appearance

- then your work style and performance

- be honest, reliable, consistent

- resist criticising and cynicism

- try to understand your bosss agenda and meet it

- with colleagues, smile and be cheerful, listen, avoidimpulsiveness, be open-minded

- monitor your emotional intelligence

5. Watch politics


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- use open communication, communicate decisions andreasons for them, communicate news asap

- judge people fairly and objectively, look at their

achievements and results

- avoid political behaviour eg rewarding or promoting yesbehaviours

- watch, learn and assimilate

6. Stand Out

- do something that gets you noticed

- eg save expenses or increase revenue

-

eg improve efficiency

7. Consolidate

- be clear on your expectations

- under promise and over deliver

- keep assessing your own performance

- join in on events

Melanie Wass is a professional trainer and coach, working in corporate and individualdevelopment.


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Create a dynamic first 100

days

Congratulations! Youve won that promotion. If you thought it wasover at the interview, yourewrong. Youre being watched,monitored and assessed to make sure that the decision that wasmade to appoint you was the right one. Here are key actions youneed to take to make sure you deliver and ensure others remain

confident in you and your ability to do the job.

Key points

Before you make quick decisions, make a good diagnosis first

Follow your instincts

Take notes, set priorities, and then act

Focus on three things people, strategy, values

Things to do

Assess your team, make changes in the first 30 days to helpchange the culture and create urgency. Check performancerecords, do personal interviews. Find out if they know andunderstand what the team/organisational vulnerabilities and

opportunities are, what extra skills do they need and how quicklycan they acquire it?

Communicate your vision and make sure they know how youll getthere. Convey basic values that framework future decisions.Answer questions honestly, dont promise miracles. Be clear about

your management style, how youll treat others and how theyshould treat you.

Meet staff and ask them what the team should be doing, whatworks for them and what do they need.

Meet the clients and find out the current performance, their

business needs, who else they use.


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Pay attention to personal habits as they project eg how you arrive,how you greet people, how thoroughly you prepare, your timemanagement. Identify 1-2 areas to change and do this quickly.Identify quick hits.

Manage your bosss expectations. Craft a master plan for allcommunications, set expectations, inform re risks and howaddressing.

Get a grip on

What you are expected to contribute

Whether you are expected to be passive in the role

Meeting other managers and directors

Obtain a briefing on the company, its history and strategy

Know what the major drivers of performance and key performanceindicators are

Get a SWOT analysis or create one as you go

Background/resume of other team members (and your bosss ifyou can)

Learn the relationships and roles within the team

Work out who the key suppliers and clients are

Learn if there are any key legal issues past or present

Are there any issues with compliance or regulations which youneed to be aware of?

Keep a record of your performance and any obstacles. Raise issueswith the right people early rather than hoping for the best. Measureyour achievements and results. Focus on the mantra They madethe right decision and Im proving it. If you are unsure, get somecounsel and advice early the honeymoon period is when peopleare most open to being supportive.

Do these things and you can sail into the future with confidence.

Melanie Wass. Copyright 2007.


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7 Simple Ways To Simplify

Your Work

For many of us, a considerable amount of our week is spent atwork. That time flows so much easier (and more enjoyably) whenwe are able to slow down, reassess, and energise ourselves! Beloware seven simple ways to simplify your life at work.

1. Only have on your desktop what you use at least once each day.Everything else should be in drawers, on shelves, or locatedelsewhere.

2. Take frequent breaks. Youll be surprised at how simply steppingaway from a project for a moment can increase your clarity and

concentration.

3. Reflect on and record your career goals. They will be much easier to

reach if you have developed a clear plan.

4. Try to work on only one project at a time. The power of focus cannot

be overstated!

5. Learn effective ways to handle interruptions. If you are interrupted,

either by phone or in person, respond with a statement such as, Ionly have five minutes right now what can I help you with the

most?

6. Schedule administrative time into your daily routine. Use this timeto catch up on mail and email, return phone calls, and similar tasks.

(Hint: schedule this during your low-energy time of day.)

7. Delegate whenever possible. Too many people inaccurately believe

they are the only ones who can handle a task. Believe in others, andin your ability to guide them appropriately.

Copyright 2004 MAP Professional Development, Inc. All Rights Reserved www.meaning-and-purpose.com


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25 Ways to Create More

Time

If I only had more time, I would

How do you finish that statement?

What would you do if you just had more time?

Its true, we all have 24 hours each day we cant carry hoursover to the next day or somehow live a 26-hour day. And although

we cant add hours to the day, we can choose to use our time morewisely.

By eliminating unnecessary or draining activities from ourschedules, shifting our priorities and re-evaluating whats worth ourprecious time, we can ensure that we have enough time to do whatwe love.

Here are 25 ways you can essentially create more time in yourschedule, and give yourself the gift of time!

1. Avoid high-traffic times of day to visit the bank, buy groceries, or

conduct other routine errands.

2. Turn off the t.v. Try it for a week and see how many other activitiesyou enjoy instead!

3. Plan ahead. Run all your errands in one big loop rather than makingseveral trips back and forth.

4. Organise your space to increase your productivity and enhance your

well-being.

5. Determine what is high-maintenance in your life and simplify. Thismight be your cooking system, your commute, even your hairstyle.


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6. Schedule appointments with yourselfon a regular basis, andhonor them like you would any other appointment. Ideally, your daily

schedule should include some quiet, focused time just for you.

7. Increase your fees or negotiate a raise. This will allow you to work

fewer hours without compromising your financial health.

8. Identify and eliminate time zappers, or those things that takemore of your time than you expect (sometimes without you even

realising it!).

9. Group tasks. Return all phone calls at 10am and 4pm, check emails

at two designated times during the day, and so forth.

10.Create a standard grocery list. Keep a printout on your refrigeratorat all times, and when you run out of an item, simply circle it on your

list. Then when its time to run to the store, you can grab your list and

go rather than spend time thinking up and writing down each item.

11.Schedule doctor and dentist appointments for first thing in the

morning. You wont have to wait long nor risk delays.

12.End your email messages with no reply necessary to avoid

unneeded responses.

13.Catch some zzzzs. If youre exhausted youll need to re-do things,

youll second-guess yourself, and youll just move more slowly than if

you are well rested.

14.Delegate. Share responsibilities with others in your office and in yourhome. You dont have to do it all!

15.Finish what you start. Whenever possible, dont leave a project

dangling that requires you to pick up where you left off, try to getback into that mode, and backtrack.

16.Turn on your answering machine. In most cases, you do not needto answer every single call that comes in. Screening your calls is fine!


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17.Pay attention to your body. Are you a morning person? Use thattime for your high-energy, high-creativity, high concentration

activities. Save the routine tasks for later in the day when your energy

level drops.

18.Avoid overextending yourself. Filling your schedule too tightly or

promising more than you can deliver robs you of time and causes yourbody stress. Be realistic when planning your days.

19.Leave detailed messages on others voicemail so when they returnyour call, theyll have the information you need available. Encourageothers to leave you detailed voicemails as well by requesting this inyour greeting.

20.Remember the big picture. Dont get lost in busy-work and minutia.

Remember just because youre moving doesnt necessarily mean

youre getting anywhere

21.Clearly define your priorities. Make sure your time is being spentwhere you want it to!

22.Practice assertiveness skills. Learn to say no,and do so often.

23.Develop crystal clear goals. Make sure you know the direction youwant to be moving, so all your activity pushes you closer to your goal.

24.Make use of your commute time. Use the drive or ride to work to

listen to books on tape, visualise the wonderful day you are about tohave (or just had), or meditate.

25.Give yourself a break! Step away from the computer at least twice

an hour, do some mild exercises in the midst of a project, grab a drink

of water. Youll refresh your mind and body!

Im working to improve my methods, and every hour I save is an houradded to my life. Ayn Rand

Copyright 2004 MAP Professional Development, Inc. All Rights Reserved www.meaning-and-purpose.com


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10 Things You Can Do To

Produce A Quantum Leap InYour Life Fast

We often hear of small actions that can make a dramatic impact onour lives. Here are ten such things which, if done with

determination, will produce a revolution for you physically,mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially!

1. Drink Pure Water

Our bodies are 70% water. Drinking impure water is responsible formany illnesses commonly attributed to other causes. Therefore,you should seriously consider installing a quality water filtration ordistillation system.

In addition, most people go through life dehydrated. Simplydrinking when you are thirsty is not enough. Moreover, tea and

coffee actually dehydrate the body even further thereby makingthe problem worse still. Dehydration also leads to many seriousillnesses. You need to drink at least 8-12 glasses of clear waterevery day, and preferably more.

2. Regular Exercise

Exercise can slow down, and even partially reverse, the agingprocess. You will suffer from fewer illnesses and have far moreenergy to enjoy all day long. Best of all, exercise is something youcan take up and benefit from at any age. Yoga is excellent because

it tones your inner organs as well as gently stretching andstrengthening your muscles. Even simply walking for 15-20minutes every day could be extremely beneficial. Consult yourdoctor regarding your current state of health and advice on suitableforms of exercise for you.

3. Meditation


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Regular meditators often have a biological age 10-20 yearsyounger than their chronological age! You will also be far morecentered all day, more aware of your emotions, and far better ableto cope with any challenge life can throw at you.

Simply sitting in a quiet place alone, closing your eyes, andfollowing the passage of your breath as it moves in and out is asuperb meditation. However, you can easily find others that canbenefit and enrich your life deeply. Meditation will make you akinder, gentler, and more patient person. It will help you toappreciate life more.

4. Forgiveness

Grudges take up brain capacity and prevent us from performing at

our very best. What we focus our minds upon grows; this is true ofhatred too. Therefore, it is impossible to truly achieve great thingsfor ourselves when we have a lot of our energetic capacity tied upin negativity.

Remember that forgiveness is primarily for YOU. It free up yourenergy tremendously. So forgive all grudges, no matter how oldthey may be, and seek reconciliation. If you find this hard, beginwith the easiest ones first. Then gradually work up to the harderones.

5. Clutter Clearance

If you want to let new opportunities into your life, you have tomake room for them. Clear out the past - things you cling to thatno longer serve any purpose, but which hold you back. This can becupboards, the cellar, old clothes, old relationships, and outmodedways of thinking. By holding on tenaciously to the past, we fail tomake room for the future.

So look in your closets and get rid of things you have not used forover a year or two. Review relationships in your life and see whichones are taking you where you want to go and which ones areholding you down. Clear your desk. Clear your computer. Then let

fresh air flow into your life!

6. Clear All Financial Debt & Invest

If owing nobody a cent is just a dream for you, start working todayto make that dream a reality. Save 10% of your income eachmonth to be applied towards reducing and clearing your debts.


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Financial debt is one of the biggest causes of worry ever. Yetalmost anyone can save 10% of their income if they put theirminds to it. Do it consistently to learn the habit, and soon you'll besaving 20%. Once you've applied this to your debts, and have NOdebts at all, you can't imagine how free you will feel!

7. Relationships

Almost everything we want in life will be obtained through otherpeople. Moreover, relationships skills are amongst the mostimportant and most desired in life. They easily more than make upfor deficiencies in other areas of expertise. People who get on wellwith others rise faster than those who are merely good at their

jobs. They are the last people to be fired; if they are, they find itextremely easy to pick up a great job elsewhere.

Hence, it is vital to learn to relate excellently to others. If you arenot good in this area, all your other efforts could go for nothing.Therefore, study hard in his subject and apply the lessons youlearn. Become excellent at relating to people.

8. Goals

Have clear, specific, written goals with deadlines for theirachievement in every area of your life - physical, mental,emotional, physical, career, etc. People who do are FAR moresuccessful. People who don't are like ships adrift on the seas. Aperson without clear specific goals is like a ship cast adrift on theocean without a captain or crew. The chances of it arrivinganywhere specific are minimal. Yet most people live their lives likethat. Make it your goal to have specific written goals in every areaof your life and review them every day.

9. Daily Planning

For maximum productivity, plan each day in advance with ascheduler. Use a "To Do" list to plan what you need to get done.Prioritise these tasks in order of importance. You can rank urgent

tasks as "A". Important, but not urgent, tasks as "B". Nice to dobut neither urgent nor important activities as "C". Unimportanttasks as "D". Work on the category "A" tasks first until you havethem all done and then work on the category "B" tasks. Delegateor throw out category "D" activities.

Develop the habit of accounting for every half hour of your time.This is what many highly successful people do.


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10. Journal

A life worth living is a life worth recording. Keep a private journal

where you can record events, your reactions to them, how you feelabout situations, what you are learning. Keeping a journal awakensyour intuition and deepens your contact with Spirit.

Copyright 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved. Dr. Asoka Selvarajah is an activewriter/researcher on personal development and esoteric spirituality. Asoka's work helpspeople achieve their full potential.


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Seven Clues To Help You Get

Started

The future belong to those who believe inthe beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Learning your own unique pattern of interests, motivation,satisfaction and meaning is an important first step in career

development. Completing the following printable worksheet andbringing it to an individual appointment with a peer counselor orcareer counselor can help you focus on whats most important toyou.

What activities fascinate and absorb you?

If you had three lifetimes, what dream jobs attract you?

What do you naturally do well?

If you won the lottery, what might you do (after initial celebration,travel, etc.)?

What local, societal, or world issues interest you?

What is the most gratifying thing you ever did? What experiences

turned out to be most dissatisfying to you?

If you knew you couldnt fail, what might you most like to do?

Adapted from Stanford Career Development Center


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Finding your Life Purpose

Did you know that only 1% of the population are living out their lifepurpose? Life Purpose is not something that many people thinkabout or even could describe but it can be one of the mostimportant aspects of life to clarify.

Many seek to find fulfilment and success in a variety of differentareas. Life purpose seeks to bring all those areas together. If youcannot say you are giving yourself to something big in your life,

you may be missing out on living in line with your life purpose.Another sign may be if you are feeling unfulfilled in your work orparts of your life.

What are the benefits of finding your life purpose?

1. It will be compass to direct you in the right path

Life purpose allows you to decide which opportunities to take up and

which to decline. It becomes like a compass that can help you assess

your options. Without that you can be tempted to take upopportunities that may ultimately not lead to fulfilment.

2. With a Life Purpose you can make a significant contribution to

mankind

Because you will be tuning into your gifting and passion you will becarrying out what you were designed to do on this earth. No oneelse can do what you were created to do and so mankind will be abetter place if you live this out fully.

3. Living out your Life Purpose creates energy and passion

Have you heard the expression, find a job you love and you willnever do a days work in your life? Why is that? Because when youtap into your purpose and passion you are working in alignmentwith your unique gifting and as such you are not worn down byworking in conflict with those.


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4. Confidence grows when you know and walk in your LifePurpose

There is a higher chance that you will achieve greater results when

you work out your life purpose and as a result your confidence willgrow.

5. It will bring greater health

It stands to reason that when you are happy, fulfilled and workingin your strengths you will naturally be less stressed and likely tohave much greater health.

6. It brings meaning to life

Without a purpose, goals can be meaningless. With a purpose ourgoals can be aligned and we can feel that they are worth our timeand energy. With meaning in our lives, we can then have themotivation to overcome difficult times and build in resilience. Itallows us to have perspective in our lives.

So how do you find your Life Purpose?

1. Get a clear understanding of your passions/ values

Your values are those things you are naturally inclined towardswhen your needs are fully met. They are more than wants; theyrepresent what you are truly passionate about. Begin to developsome words that sum up what contribution you want to make andto whom. This can be the beginning of a Life Purpose Statement.Some of these questions may help?

What do you love to do whether in your spare time or at work?

What parts of your present job or life activities do you thoroughlyenjoy?

What do you naturally do well?

What are your ten greatest successes to date?Is there a cause that you feel passionate about?

What are the 10 most important lessons you have learned in life?

Are there some issues or perceived problems that have occurredover and over for you?

What do you daydream about doing?


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What things do you want to be remembered for?

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

2. You will find your life purpose when you find the crossover of

your unique desires/strengths and a human need

Knowing your strengths and passion is not a life purpose until youare able to match it with some human need. Consider the areasyou are passionate about. Try to be as specific as possible.

3. Understand the blockages

Fear, failure, thinking is it only for a few and viewing the cost astoo high, are a few of the blocks that can get in the way.

Identifying your blockage can be useful to stop you sabotagingyour behaviour on your journey.

If youre committed to finding your life purpose, then I take somesteps now to move yourself forward and build in someaccountability.

Source: Jane Johnson aspectcoaching.com
http://aspectcoaching.com/http://aspectcoaching.com/


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How do you become a star at

work?

In other fields, theres very little doubt over what it takes to be a star. Butdo you know what it takes to be one at work? Robert E. Kelley has the

answer. BY ALAN M. WEBBER First appeared: FC15, p.114 All rights

reserved. Fast Company, LLC Visit:http://www.fastcompany.com/learning

For more than a decade, Robert E. Kelley has tried to answer thatquestion, conducting in-depth research at such companies asAT&Ts Bell Labs, 3M, and Hewlett-Packard. How do averageperformers differ from stars? Are stars just smarter? Or more self-confident? Or better at interpersonal and leadership skills? Theanswer, says Kelley, is none ofthe above: It isnt what stars havein their heads that makes them stand out. Its how they use what

they have.

In How to Be a Star at Work: Nine Breakthrough Strategies YouNeed to Succeed ( Times Books, 1998 ), Kelley details his researchand offers a blueprint to help average performers lift themselves

into the realm of the stars. Most people know that they have astar within them, he says, but for some reason, ithasnt clicked.They see other people getting ahead, people with roughly the sametalent as they have - and these other people are on a faster track.Most people genuinely want to be more productive, do their best,and live up to their potential, but they dont know how to do it.

Kelley is a professor at Carnegie Mellon Universitys Graduate

School of Industrial Administration and the president of Consultantsto Executives and Organisations Ltd. His previous books includeThe Gold-Collar Worker: Harnessing the Brainpower of the NewWorkforce (Addison-Wesley, 1985) and The Power of Followership:How to Create Leaders People Want to Follow and Followers WhoLead Themselves (Currency/Doubleday, 1992). Fast Company


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found Kelley at his home in Pittsburgh and asked him to describewhat it takes to be a star at work.

Is your star on the back of your T-shirt?

My colleagues and I spent more than 10 years trying to find avalid, objective measure that we can apply to all people or evento everybody in the same kind of job, or everybody in the same

company. Its almost impossible: No two jobs are alike, no twocompanies are alike. So we gave up on finding one metric thateveryone can agree on.

Instead, we developed a definition like the one sometimes used forpornography: Nobody can tell you how to measure it, but

everybody knows it when they see it. Everyone is an armchairexpert. Everyone has an opinion. And everyone is more than willingto dispense that advice to anyone else who will listen. So wecollected all of those opinions: There are roughly 45 beliefs thatpeople use to explain why some people are stars. A lot of peoplechalk it up to raw intelligence: Stars are smarter.

Another set of explanations emphasises social skills: Stars are bornleaders. And then we heard personality explanations: Stars aredriven, they have the will to succeed, theyre self-confident, theyre

self-motivated. We also researched explanations that stressenvironmental factors: Becoming a star is all about having the rightjob or the right boss.

We spent two years putting all of these beliefs to the test. We putstars and average performers in rooms and gave them IQ tests.

We gave them personality tests. We measured their attitudesabout whether they liked their jobs, their bosses, their companies.After two years, we came up with the results: None of these factorsdistinguished the stars from the average performers!

We finally developed our back of the T-shirt theory. Your IQ, yourpersonality, your social skills, even things like where you went toschool - thats all on the front of your T-shirt. Think of all that asyour potential energy. But the important thing is how youtransform potential energy into kinetic energy. Thats on the backof your T-shirt. If you want to know if someone is a star, or is


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going to become a star, focus on whats on the back of thatpersons T-shirt.

In other words, its not what people bring to the party that makesthem a star - its what they do with what they bring. The secrets tobeing a star are not in peoples personal characteristics but in howpeople go about doing their work.

Do you shine in the white space?

When youre starting out, remember that the things you do firstnot only build a foundation but also send important messages toyour colleagues, your customers, and your boss. Thats why thefirst step toward becoming a star is to show that you take

initiative. Initiative is about working in the white space. In todays workplace, you see it more and more: work that no one can predictwill need to be done and that doesnt fit neatly intosomeones jobdescription - in other words, work that gets done only when peoplestep forward and tackle it.

But its not enough just to take initiative - first you have tounderstand it. If you ask average performers, How do you getahead? theyll tell you that initiative is important. Yet starperformers and average performers have a fundamentally different

understanding of what constitutes initiative. Heres an example:

A young woman is asked by her boss to go to a meeting in anotherdepartment, to take notes, and to report back to her group. Sherealises that just taking notes wont do the job, so she takes a taperecorder with her. After the meeting, she listens to the tape, writes

up her notes, and reports back. To her, using the tape recorderwas taking initiative.

When stars hear that story, they say, Thats not initiative - thats

just doing your job! The boss told her to report on the meeting.How she chose to do that was up to her - but tape recorder or notape recorder, she was only doing her job. For stars, initiativegenerally has four elements: It means doing something above andbeyond your job description. It means helping other people.Usually it involves some element of risk-taking. And when youre


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really taking initiative, it involves seeing an activity through tocompletion.

Here are a couple of other rules about initiative: First, before youtake on anything new, make sure that youre doing your assigned

job well. Second, remember that social initiatives dont count formuch. Organising the company picnic or a blood drive wont getyou the kind of recognition you want.

Theyre fine things to do - but do them because they bring yousatisfaction. Third, the kind of initiatives that matter to your careerare those that relate to the companys critical path. Find out whatpromotes the companys core mission, and tie your initiatives to it.

Do you have a star-studded network?

Networking is the way work gets done. most people dont have allthe knowledge they need to do their work. Jobs today are toocomplex, theyre changing too quickly - or they just involve morework than one person can handle. Thats why stars turn to othersto get help. They use networks to multiply their productivity.

If you want to be better at networking, start by recognising what

you dont know but need to know. Then figure out who can supplythat knowledge - and cultivate relationships with those people.

Stars do this all the time. They are always on the lookout forpeople to add to their network. When they find themselves in ameeting thats a waste of time - and we all have too manymeetings like that every day - they use the time to identify peoplein the meeting who are worth getting to know.

Stars also understand the economics of networking. Average

performers look at networking as if it were a right: They callsomeone they dont know and simply demand help. Stars realisethat networking is a barter system. If you expect people to tradewith you, you have to establish that you have something worthtrading. You have to have expertise that people need but dontalready have. You also have to be patient: Be prepared to help out


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a lot of people before you ask anyone for help in return. You startwith a negative trade balance, and it takes time to build up credits.

Do you see your career as a constellation?

Average performers see self-management as time management:If I get my work done on time, then Im a good self-manager.

To stars, thats just the beginning. Youre expected to manage yourtime well. Youre expected to manage your projects well.

Real self-management means managing not only your work butalso your relationships with people, your career, and your career

assets over time.

Heres an example of how average performers and stars differ inthis category. The average performer finishes a project, and thengoes to the boss and asks, What do you want me to do next? Thestar starts looking around six months before a project is done andasks, What experiences do I have in my portfolio? Whatassignment should I tackle next that would make me morevaluable for the company and more valuable in the marketplace?

Stars select their next project before they finish the one theyreworking on.

What you hear from average performers is a complaint: Its allpolitical. All the best projects around here are wired to stars. They

get whatever they want, and we have to take whats leftover.Average performers dont see whats really happening. Its not thatthe organisation is wired. Its that stars know how to get ahead ofthe game - while average performers wait for the game to come tothem.

There are some core skills that you can develop to do a better jobof managing yourself.


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Start by understanding the company. What is its critical path? Thenalign yourself with its core business, so you contribute moredirectly to its larger purpose.

Second, understand who you are and how you work best. Toomany people think theyre going to become a star by changing whothey are - but that almost never works. Its more important torecognise how you work and then to turn that into an advantage.There are plenty of stars who have messy desks, for instance. Theyknow how to be productive and have a messy desk. How do theydo it? You can find out by talking to them - and then figuring out

how to apply their techniques.

How much (star) light do you let in?

Average performers suffer from tunnel vision: they see the worldfrom their viewpoint, and they keep pushing that viewpoint overand over again. Star performers see things in a much bigger way.They step outside of their own viewpoint and adopt differentperspectives: How do my competitors think about this? What dothe customers think? How about my colleagues? What about theboss?

I think of perspective as pattern recognition plus experience. Think

of how doctors work: Over time, they see hundreds and hundredsof patients, they build up a base of case histories, and they learn toidentify the symptoms that go together. Stars build up their owncase histories, they develop the capacity for pattern recognition,and they internalise the information so that it clicks together.

Perspective comes partly from experience. But its something youcan work on. After each project, ask yourself, What did I learn?Then seek out an assignment that will give you a different kind ofexperience - even if conventional wisdom says its not a prize job.

Take software testing. People in the software business dont like todo testing, because its kind of boring: Youre testing other peoplescode and finding bugs - youre not creating anything of your own.Most average performers think of it as drudgery that wont helpthem get ahead. But lots of software stars do their time in testing:It gives them a chance to see a lot of products, and they can apply


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everything they learn from it to building their own code in thefuture. Its a concentrated dose of pattern recognition plusexperience.

Are you a star follower?

When people hear the term star performer, they think prima-donna. In fact, stars are very good at helping other peoplesucceed. Followership means knowing that you cant always havethe lead. Youre going to be in a followership role a lot of the time,and you have to help those in charge do the best they can. Starsnot only know how to stand out - they also know how to help out.

For example, when theyre on a team as a member, rather than as

the leader, stars know how to pitch in. They check their ego at thedoor. If they think the leader is going off in the wrong direction,they know how to disagree without being disagreeable - andwithout undermining the leaders authority with the team. Insteadof taking the leader on in public, for example, they might sit downin private and say, There might be somethings that youre notaware of. Let me be your eyes and ears -just to be sure youre inthe loop.

Too many average performers become preoccupied with their own

needs and ambitions. To be a good follower, focus on the projectsneeds and on the leaders needs. Dont try to make records foryourself - try to make wins happen for the team.

Being a good follower doesnt mean sitting passively and takingorders. You should figure out what to do before youre told.

Good followers are fact-finders: They find out how to do as muchas they can without bothering the boss. When you work in thisfashion, you gain a reputation as someone whos working for the

good of the enterprise, rather than as a showboat.

Do you spell leadership with a small l?

These days, there is a lot of talk about leadership. but most of it isabout what I call leadership with a capital L. Its the kind of stuff


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that you see on all the magazine covers: CEOs promoting their bigvisions, their big ambitions, their big egos.

For star performers, thats not what leadership is. Stars exercisesmall-l leadership. Star performers very often dont have thepower to fire anybody. They cant give out promotions, bonuses, orraises. What they have is the ability to bring people together to getthings done. And they have it because of the way they work.

Stars strip away the visionary and charismatic stuff, and get to thethree components of real leadership: People want leaders who areknowledgeable. People want leaders who create momentum - whobring energy to the job and create energy in other people. And

people want leaders who pay attention to everyone whos involvedin a project - leaders who can attract followers.

If you want to be a small-l leader, start by understanding thepeople who are following you: Why are they following you, whatsin it for them, and how can you help them? Next, take seriouslyyour responsibility for building momentum in the organisation:Youve got to have intent. Do the small things that matter - and dothem in a way that shows that they matter.

If you say youre going to take on a leadership role, make sure thatmeetings get called, that the agenda gets set, and that things dontslip through the cracks.

The important thing to realise is that you can be a small-l leader.Its not a matter of how strong your jawline is. Stars have a veryaction-oriented definition of leadership. If you do the small-l stuff,people are going to want to work with you.

Are you using a stars approach to teamwork?

Weve created a whole culture of teamwork - largely because of theelimination of so many middle-management jobs. Teams aresupposed to fill the vacuum left by middle managers. But they

often dont succeed. The problem isnt with the teams, ofcourse.Its with how and why they get formed and with how they actuallywork - or dont work.


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I like to compare the way stars think about teams with the wayCharles Lindbergh thought about what to take on his historic flight

across the Atlantic. His plane could carry only so much fuel, so hehad to decide what he would take and what he would leave behind.With each item, hed ask, Do I absolutely need this to get across?If the answer was no, the item got left behind.

Stars look at teams the same way. They say, Ive got only so much time. Do I absolutely need this team - or does this teamabsolutely need me - to make something important happen?

Of course, once stars are on a team, they become very good team

players. They make sure that everyone on the team knows andbuys into its goals. They make sure the work gets distributed in away that makes sense and thats fair to everyone. They also makesure, once the team is put together, that it actually gets the jobdone.

Do you know how your company really works?

Stars also have what we call organisational savvy. In Chicago,where I grew up, people call it street smarts. It meansunderstanding the lay of the land in an organisation. Part of it is

knowing whom to trust and whom to avoid. Part of it is knowinghow to navigate all of the competing interests within theorganisation - recognising which ones will come into play and whichones you can safely ignore.

Stars also pay attention to conflicts. In most organisations,conflicts dont get enough of an airing. People who are opposed toa decision often just get run over, and often it turns out that theyshould have been listened to. But the flip side is also true: Therestoo much agreement in organisations. Remember The Abilene

Paradox, by Jerry Harvey? In it, he told a story: Nobody wants totake the trip to Abilene, but nobody wants to be the one whospeaks against it. That kind of complicity can lead to all kinds offiascos.

Thats why organisational savvy is important. But how do youdevelop it? You start on your first day at an organisation: You keep


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your eyes open. You pay attention. You get your bosss view ofwhats going on. You talk to some of the old-timers who have beenaround and get their views. You talk to star performers and gettheir sense of how things work. Chances are, youll get severaldifferent perspectives. Its not important which perspective is right.Whats important is knowing that there are these differentperspectives. Then, as you go about doing your work, you can takethem into account.

These days, a lot of people recommend that you find a mentor.

Thats very good advice. But its one of those pieces of good advicethat doesnt apply to most of the population because mentoring

doesnt happen very often. Most people cant find a mentor. Mostmentoring programs that companies set up dont work, becausementoring isnt something you can command.

But you can become your own mentor. Pay close attention to whatgoes on. Find out who the people are who make things happen.Find the stars and study them. Become a student in the workplace.When you study different approaches, you learn what works andwhat doesnt work in your environment.

Are you a star at show and tell?

Stars also know how to use the right message with the rightaudience at the right time. They are superb communicators.

But being a good communicator doesnt mean always beingon.In fact, one of the things that average performers do wrong is toovercommunicate: Every day, they send another memo to theboss. They chatter on, but they dont really have anything tocontribute. People turn a deaf ear to them. Star performers knowhow to time their messages, and how to craft them, so that people

pay attention.

If you want to excel at show and tell, understand your audience:What moves people in this particular audience? What do they listento? What language makes sense to them? For one person, itsgoing to be dollars; for another, its going to be values.


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You match that language with the way you deliver information -whether youre making a presentation, sending a memo, orcornering someone in the hallway to test out an idea.

Figure out the message that moves people, put it into the languagethey speak, and deliver it in a way that works for them.

What do you do on Monday morning?

If youre an average performer and you want to become a star,what do you do on Monday morning? Start by taking a hard look atyourself and at the star performers. Ask yourself, What are they

doing that Im not doing? And what am I doing that gets in myway? Then become a student of the stars: Do what they do.

Try it for a while. Youll know youre making progress when youstart hearing about it from your colleagues. Theyll start asking you

to be on their team. Youll start getting calls from people asking forinformation. Youll know your efforts are working,because youllfind that youre being included in the stuff that counts.

The good news is, all of these skills can be learned. Becoming astar at work is like improving your golf or tennis game. You identify

your bad habits and the improvements you need to put in place -and then you practice those improvements every day.

Alan M. Webber is a founding editor of Fast Company. You can reach Robert Kelley by [email protected] , and you can learn more about his ideas at www.kelleyideas.com. Allrights reserved. Fast Company, LLC


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Women and MenUnderstanding and respecting gender differences in the workplace

Executive summary

Most everyone would agree with the assertion that boys and girlsare socialised differently in America, as they are in mostpostindustrial or third wave societies. Girls and boys, during theirformative years, are sent endless socialisation messages about howthey ought to behave in order to have successful outcomes. Themessages differ as functions of the gender of the particular child.

One simple example with which most of us have some familiarity iscrying in response to frustration by girls and acting out behaviorin response to frustration by boys. This chapter is a discussion ofthe manifold ways in which the early socialisation of boys and girlsis played out in the workplace, at a later stage of development,between men and women.

Managers, both men and women, must stay constantly attuned tothese gender differences if they are to effectively manage across

the gender divide.

Anne Litwin and Sophie Hahn suggest that without this sensitivity,womens success will be impeded, and both men and women willexperience unnecessary frustrations.

However, given male dominance in many organisations, the womanmanager who is not fully aware of how differences based on genderget played out is more likely to suffer than a male manager who is

similarly unattuned. While the woman manager may be seen asunprepared, male managers who lack skill in managing this form ofdiversity may find upper management in supportive collusion withthem.

This chapter is important because it reveals many of the oftenreflexive ways that gender differences, and the behaviors


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associated with them, are enacted in the world of work. Many theissues discussed in this chapter are below the surface andspontaneous, and reflect who we are by virtue of the ways in whichour early socialisation took place.

On this basis, frequent reference to Hahn and Litwins piece isworthwhile counsel. Otherwise, the behaviors will be ascribed towhat is considerednormal, and calling attention to them may beseen as nitpickinga most unfair and unfortunate outcome notonly for impacted women, but for men as well. Men who fail to getit will continue to manage in uninformed ways, leading to

continuous turnover of highly talented women in their managerialpurview, an unfortunate outcome at the organisational level.

Gender differences

Be it nature or nurture, by the time most women and men make itto the workplace, their life experiences and expectations have beendifferent in certain gender-based ways. Of course, as humanbeings, women and men share many of the same experiences andexpectations. And as individuals, they are each entirely unique. Ineach person, all of these experiences and expectations functionsimultaneously: the group-based differences, the universal humansimilarities, and the individual attributes and quirks. This makesfor a fascinatingand sometimes confusinghuman landscape.

Whenever women and men interact, gender-based groupdifferences can come into play, at times creating avoidablemisunderstandings. These are the innocent communication-, style-,expectation-, and experience-based misunderstandings that ariseamong women and men interacting in normal, friendly, cordial, andhelpful ways, with no ill will intended. Managers need to beespecially aware of the potential for such misunderstandings in thework environment, both in their own actions and reactions as well

as those of their colleagues and staff toward each other.

Without diminishing the importance of the sameness, theuniqueness, or the other group identities of human beings, thischapter focuses on how gender based differences manifestthemselves in the workplace. Throughout the chapter, certain


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behaviors are labeled feminine or masculine or are attributed towomen or men. These labels and attributions are a shorthand wayof describing characteristics more likely to be found amongmembers of one gender or the other, and should not be read as anegation of individual differences.

Women and men in the workplace

Women and men, as groups, tend to have different communicationand work styles. This has been observed and documented bysociologists, psychologists, and other social observers, despitecontinued debate about why such differences exist (nature ornurture) and why typically masculine behavior tends to be assigned

a higher value in the workplace.

Deborah Tannens 1990 best-seller, You Just Dont Understand:Women and Men in Conversation, explores the differentconversational styles of women and men at length. Based on herresearch, Tannen concludes that boys and girlsearly social lives

are so different that they grow up in what are essentially differentcultures." Thus, talk between women and men is in fact cross-cultural communication, fraught with as many potentialmisunderstandings as communication between individuals fromdifferent countries, ethnic backgrounds, languages, or religiousgroups.

As a matter of basic world view, Tannen establishes that men seethemselves as engaged in a hierarchical social order in which theyare either "one up or one down" in relation to others. Theircommunication styles and reactions to others' communicationsoften stress the need to "preserve independence and avoid failure."Women, on the other hand, tend to see the world as a "network ofconnections," and their communications and interpretations ofothers' communications seek to "preserve intimacy and avoid

isolation."

Tannens conclusions echo an earlier well-known book on thissubject, In a Different Voice by Carol Gilligan. Gilligan citesresearch by a number of psychologists and other experts that hasfound marked differences in the basic operational modes of women


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and men, starting from the time they are very young children. Forexample, in observing girls and boys at play, Piaget and Lever (inseparate studies) found that as boys grow they become

increasingly fascinated with the legal elaboration of rules and thedevelopment of fair procedures for adjudicating conflicts, whilegirls have amore pragmatic attitude toward rules. Girls are

more willing to make exceptions and are easily reconciled toinnovations. Boys play is observed as more competitive, whilegirls play is more cooperative.

Given these basic differences in world view and behavior, it is not

surprising to find that the workplace expectations, work styles, andcharacteristics of women and men, as groups, also tend to differ.

Table 19-1 depicts the two extremes of a spectrum of workplacestyles and expectations shared by women and men, but consideredmore typically feminine or masculine. Many women probably willsee themselves, or be seen by colleagues, as possessing certainattributes described as masculine, and some men probably willsee themselves, or be seen by colleagues, as possessing certainattributes described in the table as feminine.

All of the views and styles described as constituting the moretypically feminine or masculine ends of the spectrum are equallyvalid and useful in a productive workplace. Increased worldwidecompetition and changing workforce demographics highlight thisfact. Many organisations have begun to recognise the need tomove away from primarily masculine structures and norms towarda more flexible definition of appropriate workplace behavior.

An emphasis on teamwork and positive employee developmentrequires that both typically feminine and typically masculine stylesand expectations be valued and reinforced. This creates newopportunities for women and men to utilise and value the different

strengths each brings to the workplace.

TABLE 19-I

Gender Based Perceptions in the Workplace


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Feminine Masculine

Organisational

structure

participative (see colleagues as

complementary)

hierarchical (see colleagues as

potential competition)

Focus of interpersonalattention

process (care about how peopletreat each other in carrying out

work)

outcome (care about "where theystand" in relation to others)

Operating style interactional (interact to connect,

arrive at understandings)

transactional (interact to pass

information and give directions)

Problem-solving style intuitive (trust instincts; will provide

proof/explanation as necessary)

linear (based on methodical

thinking; will not trust intuition until

proof is presented)

Individual work style collaborative (see work as part of a

whole; discuss and review with

colleagues)

independent (see work as a

separate piece; complete work

without the "help" of others)

Management style supportive (seek to aid, support,

facilitate, and provide comfort,

meaning, and rewards)

directive (seek to test, direct,

organize, and provide challenges,

goals, and incentives)

View of work-related

conflict

disruptive (seek to create harmony;

view negative comments as

unproductive)

normal (accept a level of conflict as

inevitable; view negative comments

as normal part of work)

A common workplace based scenario the mixed gendermeeting

Despite an increased valuing of the attributes of both genders,

misunderstandings among women and men in the workplacecontinue. Each gender tends to expect that the other operates withthe same set of views and behavioral expectations. The followingscenario illustrates an innocent gender-based misunderstanding inwhich a sensitivity to the different feminine and masculine stylesand expectations would have facilitated more fruitful outcomes.

Case 1. A male manager is holding a meeting with his staff, whichincludes both women and men, to find a solution to a departmentalproblem. A woman speaks first, very soon after he has presented

the problem; she offers a solution. The manager is annoyed.Because she did not begin her statement with a progressiveanalysis of all factors and because she spoke so soon, he assumesshe has not thought out her position and therefore dismisses hersolution without bothering to explore its possibilities.


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One of her male colleagues speaks second. He starts with a lengthyanalysis and ultimately summarises with a virtually identicalsolution. This time, the manager hears the solution and accepts it.The male manager has reacted favorably not to the actual solutionbut to his male staff member's linear approach to solving theproblem.

Case 2. In the converse situation, a female manager is holding anidentical meeting. A man speaks first, and begins with what seemsto her to be a lengthy, overly detailed, and somewhat pompous

justification for the point he is about to make but never seems to

get to. She asks that he cede the floor so that others canparticipate, effectively cutting him off before he has finished.

A woman speaks second. She simply states the first solution thatcame to her mind, based on the manager's description of theproblem. The manager happily accepts the solutionit soundsrightand continues the meeting by asking if anyone sees anyreason why this is not the best solution. This female manager hasalso favored a certain approach to problem solvingthe intuitiveapproach.

In case 1, with a male manager, the woman staff member willleave the meeting frustrated, and the manager will not recogniseher contribution. This is a gender-based misunderstanding. Hisnegative view of her may be exacerbated because the workplacetends to favor masculine work styles and characteristics. To theextent that women as a group do not conform to the male model,they may be considered less-valuable employees. From the femalestaff member's perspective, the experience may add to a feelingwomen in the office aren't listened to or aren't respected. After all,she did provide the correct solution! If she complains, this willprobably also hurt her.

People will tend to perceive her as weak or oversensitive.

In the second case, with the female manager, there has also beena gender based misunderstanding, and it is the male staff memberwho will leave the meeting with a sense of frustration. In thisinstance, however, the negative interaction can be directly harmful


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to the female manager as well as to the male employee. The malestaff member will certainly suffer from being misunderstood by hismanager. He will feel that he has been treated unfairly and mayreceive a poor evaluation. He may also complain to others aroundthe office. Even though he is the subordinate, his "bad-mouthing"can feed preexisting biases in the male-defined workplace. Themanager may be seen as the one with the problem and hermanagement style considered impatient or lacking in judgment. Inthis example, the misunderstanding can harm both the male staffmember and his female manager.

These misunderstandings, if viewed alone, may seem petty orharmless. But in most instances, they form part of a continuum ofmisunderstandings, acted out on a playing field that itself is not

levela playing field usually disfavoring feminine characteristics,and thus women. Bit by bit, these can lead to destructive and time-consuming animosities, a factionalised workplace, demoralisedemployees, and, eventually, to the loss of promising members ofthe staff. These types of misunderstandings are often the source ofthe disproportionate loss of female employees who, given theirbackgrounds, skills, and experience, should have thrived in their

jobs.

What can managers do?

Ultimately, managers are responsible for making sure thatworkplace tasks are accomplished in an optimal fashion. They mustcreate a productive work environment that brings out the best ineach member of their staff, whatever her or his universal, group,or individual characteristics may be. The foundation of productive

work environments is mutual respect and understanding.

Managers influence their work environments in three ways:

How they act, which sets a powerful example

How they treat members of their staff

How they manage relations among staff members


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Whatever managers do to derive the benefits of or to minimise theproblems arising from gender-based differences in the workplace,they must address all three levels of influence.

The following six-step program is a manager's guide for learningmore about and effectively handling gender-basedmisunderstandings in the workplace.

1. Educate. The first step for managers is to continuallyeducate themselves about gender issues in the workplacethrough reading and participation in classes or workshops.Most people have a tendency to assume that all people are

just like themselves. In today's world and today's workplace,

this is rarely true. Learning more about gender issues cantrigger a series of surprising observations, leading amanager to new understandings. The sources of certainfrustrating workplace misunderstandings become obviousand more easily managed and changed.

2. Assess. The next step for a manager, armed with newinformation, is to assess the ways in which the structure,norms, expectations, standards, evaluation methods, andother attributes of the workplace may carry a bias.

These elements must be taken into account in all efforts, toachieve meaningful gender fairness.

For example, upon examination, a manager may note theexistence of an unwritten norm discouraging crying. Sincecrying is a normal way in which many women express strongfeelings or react to stress, the norm against crying wouldtend to disfavor women. If women who cry at work areconsidered less-valuable employees, while men experience

no negative repercussions when they express strong feelingsor react to stress in other ways, the manager will haveidentified an important workplace bias.

Although managers may be able to identify some of thepotentially gender biased elements in their workplaces, it isoften advisable to engage an outside expert to guide or


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conduct the assessment for the manager. As members of theworkplace culture, managers may have difficulty identifyingbiases that are fully ingrained in the environmentand thusmost likely in the managers themselves.

3. Ask questions. Having observed the environment, amanager should next ask questions of each staff member onan individual basis. To gain relevant information, themanager should ask each employee to describe:

The strengths they bring to the workplace

The characteristics they value in a supervisor

The aspects of the work they consider important

Focusing on the issue of gender-based differences, amanager should ask:

What special, added value the employee feels her or his

gender brings to the workplace?

How the employee can benefit from the different gender-based attributes of co-workers?

Once these positive aspects have been explored and

identified, it is useful to ask employees about:

Frustrations they may have encountered in working withmembers of the opposite gender

Behaviors that would show respect for the styledifferences between them

All of the information obtained through private interviewsshould be kept confidential between the manager and theparticular employee.

4. Discuss. As a next step, mixed-gender groups should bebrought together for a guided discussion and review of thesame questions that were asked in the individual sessions.


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A good way to conclude a group discussion of gender issuesis to have participants articulate explicit agreements aboutways they can show respect for and benefit from bothgender-based styles.

This process of sharing information about gender issues canbe continually refreshed and reinforced by taking the time,upon completion of major projects and at the end ofimportant meetings, to discuss how well members of eachgender feel they have worked together and to solicitsuggestions for improving group interaction in the future.

5. Listen. For the manager, listening is especially important for

three reasons. First, the individual's comments made during group

discussions provide crucial management information,which employees will not provide if they do not trust thatthey will be listened to and taken seriously.

Second, managers must try very honestly to hear theways in which their own actions and treatment of staffmembers, and the staff's interaction with each other,perpetuate destructiveand thus unproductivegender

biases.

The third, and ultimately most edifying, reason to listencarefully is to discover the unique gifts each individualbrings to the workplace. If the male manager from thefirst scenario had been listening differently, he might haveheard his female staff member's correct solution. Hewould have been impressed by her ability to graspcomplex problems quickly and see straight to the rightsolution. Conversely, if the female manager had listeneddifferently to what her male staff member was saying,

she would have appreciated his ability to present a well-reasoned exposition of the foundations for hisconclusions.

6. Initiate change. Having learned, assessed, askedquestions, discussed, and listened, managers will probably


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need to make changes at all three levels of influencehowthey act, how they treat members of their staffs, and howthey manage relations among staff members. Depending onthe situation, each manager's strategy may be different.

Some managers may find that by changing their ownbehaviors, the entire department or unit will change, havinglearned by experience and example. Others may wish tobring the issues up explicitly with staff by holding meetings,announcing new policies, or even inviting special consultantsfrom the outside to work with them and their staffs.

Many useful books, tapes, videos, seminars, classes, and

training programs can help managers create a strategy formanaging change in gender-based patterns, expectations,and attitudes.

These resources may be obtained through bookstores,libraries, professional associations, women's organisations,city or state human rights commissions, unions, and thecompany's human resources department.

Conclusion

Whatever the strategy and actions taken, there is no doubt thatmanagers will confront gender-based issues in the workplace; mostalready do, without knowing it.

They spend precious time managing situations arising from orexacerbated by gender-based misunderstandingsincluding theirown! Both women and men with useful potential leave theorganisationor end up being asked to leave.

Organisations lose women disproportionately because definitions ofwhat is right and good in the workplace are almost always basedon a masculine model. Women eventually feet unappreciated andundervalued, and then they don't stick around.


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Being aware of and confronting gender issues frees managers totake control and turn things around, to the benefit of their staffs,their organisations, and ultimately society.

By Sophie Hahn and Anne Litwin. Published in Managing in the Age of Change: EssentialSkills to Manage Today's Workforce, Roger A. Ritvo, Anne Litwin, and Lee Butler, editors,Burr Ridge, Illinois: IRWIN Professional Publishing, 1995.

References

1. Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. NewYork: Ballantine Books, 1990.

2. Gilligan, Carol. In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development.Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1982.

3. Loden, Marilyn. Feminine Leadership, or How to Succeed in Business Without Being Oneof the Boys. New York: Times Books, 1985.


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From "The Little Book of

Balance" by Kerry FallonHorgan

Tip One

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

Tip Two

Achieving balance is a continuous process of developing theconditions in which the human spirit thrives.

Tip Three

Happiness depends upon our attitude. This is something we canchoose, something which is within our power to influence.

Tip Four

When change outside of your control is negatively impacting yourlife, focus and act on the things you can influence. This can keepyou empowered and reduces the stress that such change canengender.

Tip Five

Do you ever feel unbelievably stressed and out of control, whensomething unforeseen happens and you drop all the balls you were

trying to juggle? At these times, even the most flexible people canbecome more controlling. They try to control the people aroundthem becoming evermore critical and demanding. The key is totake charge of ourselves not of those around us. To break thebehaviour patterns that bind us.


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Start by spending at least 5 minutes a day breathing deeply in thefresh air, taking in nature, bringing your values to the fore. Giveyour body and mind a break from stress by stopping the negativeself talk and cultivating inner peace

Tip Six

The daily practice of focusing on our breathing begins the healthfulcalm - deeply breath in calm, breath out and relax.

Tip Seven

Focus on the moment as often as possible. Mindfulness of the

present, savouring the moment is truly living life.

Really taste the food you eat.

Hold a hug just a little longer.

Marvel in the colour of the sky.

Listen intently to the words 'I love you'.

Enjoy the little things that people do for you.

Stop to say thank you.

A great saying...

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it; Boldnesshas genius, power and magic in it."

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, from Simple Abundance by Sarah BanBreathnach (Warner Books).

Tip Eight

Loving others begins with the practice of love of self - givingourselves time to care for our physical and emotional health,reflecting on our values.

"Time" by Marla Visser...

If I had a summerto give you, my mutilated psyche,maybe you could heal into oneness.But always there are the thingsThat pull me apart,


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chewing up my ego,possessing my time and leaving mewith one small question.When do I get to be me?

Tip Nine

Achieving balance means focusing on what you value in life.

So much precious time and energy can be wasted dwelling on thenegative. Go through each day consciously. Stop the thoughts andactions that prevent you getting to where you want to go. Giveyour goals the positive affirmations they need to succeed.

Tip TenYou can only achieve your goals by taking action!

Start by writing a plan for what you want to achieve and how youare going to do it! Think about the various areas of your life -

relationships, work, health and so on. What are your goals in eachof these areas and what are you going to do each day, week ormonth to ensure you will achieve them? Put the actions in yourdiary or where you will see your plan daily. Regularly visualiseyourself achieving your goals. Begin with readily achievable goals.Celebrate each success and build on each success to achieve yourlong term plans.

"it is only with infinitesimal change, changes so small that noone else even realises you're making them, that you haveany hope for transformation."Tolstoy

Tip Eleven

Achieving balance is a courageous process. As we begin to moveinto balance, the tension we feel or barriers we face may make uswant to give up. Even the smallest change can create fear in

ourselves or in others, wanting us to flee back to the safety of thefamiliar. But moving forward, finding the courage to continue theprocess, leads to the higher balance - toward achieving our humanpotential.

Great sayings


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"Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself"

- Erich Fromm

"It is as hard to see one's self as to look backwards withoutturning around"

- Thoreau

"The energy of our differences can produce a precious giftwe could never have experienced alone"

- Thomas Crum

"When we shed the burden of judgment, we quiet theturbulence of our internal dialogue"

- Deepak Chopra

Tip Twelve

Life balance is the pursuit of our potential - physical, intellectual,emotional and spiritual.

Tip Thirteen

Time is our most precious commodity, not the material things weconstantly strive to gain. Giving time to ourselves is vital forphysical and emotional health. Giving time to others, doing whatthey enjoy, is vital to the health of our relationships.

Tip Fourteen

As the song goes "You've got to have friends". Cherish andtreasure your friendships. The more you nurture your friendshipsthe deeper and more supportive they become.

Copyright 2002 Flexibility At Work


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Discover the 90/10 Principle

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.

90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will

be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. Adriver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% isdifferent. You determine the other 90%.

How?

By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control yourreaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how youreact.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocksover a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control

over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.


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You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cupover. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn toyour spouse and criticise them for placing the cup too close to theedge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairsand change your clothes. Back downstairs, you find your daughterhas been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready forschool. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the carand drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive80 km an hour in a 60 km speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $140 traffic fine away, you

arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building withoutsaying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, youfind you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As itcontinues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward tocoming home.

When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationshipwith your spouse and daughter.

Why? . Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

a) Did the coffee cause it?

b) Did your daughter cause it?

c) Did the policeman cause it?

d) Did you cause it?

The answer is D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How youreacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.


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Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gentlysay, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time".

Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a fresh outfitand your briefcase, you come back down in time to look throughthe window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns andwaves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the team.Your boss comments on how good a day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both endeddifferent.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The

other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge.Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let thenegative comment affect you!

React better and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction couldresult in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you loseyour temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine hadthe steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressureskyrocket? Do you try and bump them?


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WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let theother drivers ruin your trip?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use yourworrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.

Why outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no controlover what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why getstressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazedat the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle

is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials,problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!

Enjoy.

Author: Stephen Covey


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Action Page

Things that I can do differently from now

Stop doing

Start doing

Do more of

Do less of .


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Want to get even more

success in your life and needsupport to make it happen?

Springboard Womens Development Program is a 3 month learning

experience for women incorporating both personal and professionaldevelopment.

It has been known to transform lives and careers.

What you get

4 facilitated 1-day workshops spread over 3 months

300+ page A4 sized workbook crammed with tools, examples, data

2-3 hours per week of self study by participants

Guest speakers

Support systems and networks

What can you expect?

Align your values so you make the best decisions

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Deal with changes more effectively

Learn the power and practice of networking

Put useful stress management strategies in place

Resolve conflicts and solve problems more easily

Feel more confident and powerful in all areas of your life

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Get a handle on limiting beliefs such as Im not good enough, I justdont have it Im dumb or I cant have a great relationship

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Contact details

To book Melanie Wass for a keynote presentation, half or full dayworkshop nationally or internationally, please contact:

Melanie WassDirectorNatural Consulting

Postal Address

PO Box 336Frenchs Forest NSW 2086

Mobile +61 4 1998 8303

Email [email protected]

www.springboard.org.au

is a website of Natural Consulting to promote the award-winningSpringboard Womens Development Program throughout Australia.

www.naturalconsulting.com.au

is the website of Natural Consulting, a results-based training and

development practice developing people to energise organisations
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.springboard.org.au/http://www.springboard.org.au/http://www.naturalconsulting.com.au/http://www.naturalconsulting.com.au/http://www.naturalconsulting.com.au/http://www.springboard.org.au/mailto:[email protected]


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Thank youMelanie Wass

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