Home. It’s where you should feel safe and protected. Hope’s Door. It’s who you call if you’re not. El Hogar. Es donde debes sentirse seguro y protegido. Hope’s Door. Somos a quien llamar si no lo estas.

2017 EDITION 3

It has become increasingly apparent that there is a strong correlation between mass shooters and perpetra-tors of domestic violence. Consider the Pulse Nightclub

in Orlando, the Las Vegas Music Festival, the Sutherland Springs church, and the list goes on. Indeed, Everytown for Gun Safety advocates analyzed FBI mass shooting data and found that 57% of the cases included a spouse, former spouse, or other family member among the victims.

Let’s consider the case of the Sutherland Springs shooter, discharged from the Air Force after serving 12 months for assaulting his wife and stepson, who suffered a fractured skull. If the shooter had been sentenced to five years as

allowed under court martial, he would have been behind bars on the day he opened fire in the church. If the military had reported his domestic violence conviction to the FBI, he would have been prohibited from possessing or purchasing the rifle he used to kill 26 people and injure 20 more.

We need to do more to end the epidemic of domestic vio-lence that shatters families and kills an average of three women a day in this country. We should give each instance of domestic violence the attention we give to terrorist attacks and mass shootings. After all, domestic violence has a much higher death toll.

CORRELATION BETWEEN ABUSERS AND MASS SHOOTERS

2017 HOPE’S DOOR ANNUAL FALL LUNCHEON

The 2017 Hope’s Door Annual Luncheon at the Scarsdale Golf Club was the most successful ever, raising over $55,000.

Over 250 attendees helped us celebrate Executive Director CarlLa Horton’s 20 years of leadership with a program emphasizing the impact and prevention of economic abuse.

We hope you will join us for our next luncheon on October 19, 2018. We will highlight our Prevention Program in which young people learn the difference between a relationship based on power and control and a relationship based on equality, respect, and trust.

ADVOCATE FOR FIX NICS ACT, S. 2135You can help keep firearms out of the hands of convicted abusers and help prevent tragedies like the one at Sutherland Springs church. Contact the U.S. Senators listed below and ask them to support the Fix NICS Act, S. 2135. This legislation will ensure convicted domestic violence abusers are tracked by the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) and prevented from obtaining firearms.

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand: www.gillibrand.senate.gov/contact/email-meSenator Chuck Schumer: www.schumer.senate.gov/contact/email-chuck

Hope’s Door Board Members: Martha Obler Kohn, Dan Schorr, Jill Deitch, Julia Peloso-Barnes, Executive Director CarlLa Horton, Blakely Brodbeck, Erika Garcia-Lavyne, Wendy Gardner, Ken Marsolais, and Debra Kousouros; Not pictured: Christine Bartels Dorman and Kristen Gizzi

BOARD OF DIRECTORS Debra Kousouros, Esq., President Wendy M. Gardner, Vice President Jill Deitch, Secretary Julia Peloso-Barnes, Treasurer Christine Bartels Blakely Brodbeck Erika Garcia-Lavyne Kristen N. Gizzi Martha Obler Kohn, LMSW Ken Marsolais Dan Schorr

ADVISORY BOARDSheryl Dale, Co-Chair Asst. Director, Mohawk Day CampMartha Obler Kohn, LMSWPatricia Carrera, CFP®, CDFA Financial Professional, AXA Advisors, LLCJean Marie Connolly, Senior Director, Altium Wealth Management, LLCAlyssa Dweck, MS, MD, FACOG, CareMount Medical Tom Gardner Gina R. JacksonGerard A. Klingman, President, Klingman and Associates, LLCPenney J. KlingmanJeffrey Kohn, Managing Partner, New York O’Melveny & Myers LLPDiane RooneyDavid M. Ryan, Chief of Police Pound Ridge Ira M. Schulman, Partner, Pepper Hamilton LLP Joel Seligman, President & CEO, Northern Westchester Hospital Nancy K. Simpkins Michael A. Stillman, MD Helen Williams Eric I. Wrubel, Esq., Partner, Warshaw Burstein, LLP Irina Zhabinskaya, MD, Med. Dir., Ped., Northern Westchester Hospital

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR CarlLa Horton, MPA

NEWSLETTER STAFF Jennifer Ryan Safsel, Director of Development & Community RelationsGay French-Ottaviani, LCSW-R, CP Senior Counselor for Community ServicesCaitlin Hayles, Development AssociateMargo Goody, Designer

www.HopesDoorNY.orgCARLLA HORTON

As I look out my new office windows, I find myself reflecting upon all we have achieved this year. Over the last few months, we moved into our wonderful new offices in Hawthorne, had a record number of guests attend our

luncheon, and implemented two new programs.

The first is our collaborative pilot project, the Northern Westchester Risk Reduction Team, which which offer enhanced safety and support to victims in Bedford, Lewisboro, North Salem, Pound Ridge and Somers. The second new ini-tiative stems from our expansion of prevention programming to middle school youth. Thanks to the support of Principal John Barnes and his team, we have established our first Rising STAR (Students Talking About Relationships) chapter at the Albert Leonard Middle School in New Rochelle.

Please know that we could not be more grateful for the many ways you sup-port our work to promote safety, independence, and healing from the trauma of abuse. You have donated Halloween costumes, provided holiday gifts, helped facilitate our teen dating abuse symposium, sponsored awareness events, and contributed vital financial support – just to name a few.

Our success is made possible by the survivors whose courage inspires us each and every day and by our dedicated staff, Board of Directors, Advisory Board, donors, and volunteers.

Thank you and Happy New Year to all.

We launched the Next Step Economic Empowerment Program in 2014. Since then, more than

250 women have overcome their barri-ers to self-sufficiency. Their success is directly attributable to our many generous donors, including TD Bank, which recently awarded $5,000 to the Next Step Fund. If you are living with abuse and need help to make it on your own, call our hotline at 888-438-8700.

A NEW BEGINNING FOR THE NEW YEARHelp our clients start on the right foot for the New Year with these essential items:

GIFT CARDSSupermarkets, Drug Stores, Metrocards, Phone Cards, American Express, Visa, Gas Cards

TO DONATE ITEMS TO OUR SHELTERVisit www.HopesDoorNY.org/wishlist

FROM THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Left to right: TD Bank Vice President of Commercial Lending Jennifer Bonhomme, Economic Empowerment Specialist Brenda Rodriguez, and TD Bank Vice President, Retail Market Manager Adam Kintish

ANNUAL FALL LUNCHEON HIGHLIGHTS

For more photos, visit: www.hopesdoorny.org/events

CHAMPION SPONSORSChristine Bartels Dorman,

Dominic Dorman, & PepsiCo Diamond Properties Martha & Jeff Kohn

Lee Manning-VogelsteinLaurie & Paul Sturz

MENTOR SPONSORSAimia/Wendy & Tom GardnerAllstate Insurance Company

Jean Marie ConnollyPenney J. Klingman

ADVOCATE SPONSORSBal Harbour Village, Florida

CarlLa HortonHoulihan Lawrence, Bedford/

Pound Ridge BrokerageKroll

Marino Partners LLPThe Peloso-Barnes Group

at Morgan StanleyTD Bank, N.A.

The Westchester Bank

PATRONSHon. Tom Abinanti

Elizabeth Bracken-ThompsonMary Jo Bramson

Oren Bramson Blakely Brodbeck Elizabeth Carlton

Ingrid & John Connolly Jodi Falbaum

Kirk P. Ferguson Deanne Fitzpatrick Jamal

Erika Garcia-Lavyne Beth Leventhal Ira Leventhal

Kenneth Gerstein Donna Goldman Hirsch Cindy J. Kanusher, Esq.

Hon. Michael KaplowitzSara Karidis

Alayne Katz, Esq. Debra Kousouros, Esq.

Janet Langsam Hon. George Latimer

Hon. Jim MaisanoMeridian Benefits Consulting

Ken Marsolais Judith Morse

Hon. Terrence Murphy Linda O’Neill

Hon. Amy PaulinPia Riverso

Nancy K. Simpkins Cathy Skurman

Leah Tahbaz Ellen Weiss Peggy Zeller

Irina Zhabinskaya, MD Mattias Zhabinskiy

Elizabeth Zimmerman

2017Annual Fall Luncheon

Sponsors

Advisory Board Member Ira Schulman and CarlLa Horton

Advisory Board Member Nancy K. Simpkins and Ingrid Connolly

CarlLa Horton and Laurie Sturz

Junior League of Bronxville members left to right: Michelle Schoulder, Julie McNally Daher, Danielle Spring, and Betsy Borsch with CarlLa Horton (center)

Co-chairs Caroline Shepherd and Karen Burchetta with panelist Leslie Lampert

NY Assemblyman Tom Abinanti and CarlLa Horton

Founder and former Board Member Elizabeth Carlton

Director of Community Relations for NY Senator Terrence Murphy Marianne Oros, Hope’s Door Board Member Dan Schorr, Jen Buchwald, Julian Grijns, and Gabrielle Arcangeli

Emcee Elizabeth Bracken-Thompson with panelists NY State Senator Andrea Stewart-Cousins and Lauren Leader-Chivee

Left to right: Rick Rakow, Hope’s Door CFO Phil Morton, Elizabeth Santiago, Advisory Board Member Jean Marie Connolly, Hope’s Door Executive Director CarlLa Horton, Executive Director for the Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence Gwen Wright, Hope’s Door Director of Development & Community Outreach Jennifer Ryan Safsel, Elyssa Feldman Most, and Tracie McLee

Geri Pell

Top, left to right: Julia Peloso-Barnes, CarlLa Horton, Elyse Schajer, Esq.; Bottom, left to right: Camille Murphy, Patty Peloso-Barnes, and Wendy Bloch

PURPLE PURSE CHALLENGE Our fundraising team for the Allstate Purple Purse

Challenge raised $20,661 this year! Our new Hope’s Door Development Associate, Caitlin Hayles, dem-

onstrated her fundraising talents by raising $2,231, winning our office challenge. Caitlin was awarded the 2017 Allstate Purple Purse one-of-a-kind handbag designed by Serena Williams.

VISIT OUR FACEBOOK PAGE, WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/HOPESDOORNYINC — AND “LIKE” US TOO!

Hope’s Door Development Associate, Caitlin Hayles accepting the Purple Purse from Executive Director CarlLa Horton

I’m a mom of two kids, the college-educated daughter of immigrants raised with the American dream. I

attended a private prep school where at age 16 I met my future husband. He inserted himself into my group and courted me. He was: charming, romantic, persistent, wounded, and a big spender. The most marked changes

in him came when he no longer was the sole focus of my life: if I had an outside interest, if my aging parents needed me, or if I was promoted at work. The world was about him.

There were plenty of warning signs. I just minimized them all: envy, career sabotage, no good family relationships, no friendships, no privacy. He had to know who I was talking to or where I was at all times. I wasn’t allowed to make decisions. He decided everything. I stopped being an individual.

The physical abuse ended on April 1, how ironic – April Fool’s day. He kicked me to the ground, choked me, commanded me to leave, and then locked up my bags, phone and wallet. That day was long, filled with violence, with me gripping a fence for my life and screaming for help. I walked two miles to borrow a phone to call a friend who picked me up and sheltered me in her home. He was finally arrested, and I secured my first order of protection. That was the day I could breathe again, the day my new life started.

This may be hard to understand, but I’ve been fortunate. I lived in a community where the Chief of Police is dedicated to advocating for victims and where the services of Hope’s Door are available. Through Hope’s Door, I started to heal and understand; I rediscovered myself. I forgave myself. I’m happier

and stronger today than I ever was with my husband. Before, life was grey and dismal. Now, everything is bright, full of possibilities, and free of abuse. Now I know working together can effect change, responding as a community enables healing and positively impacts the larger community.

Thus, I joined Lynn as co-chair of the North East Westchester Domestic Abuse Alliance (NEW DAA). We hold educational events, raise awareness, and will provide support to victims. We’ve worked with state, county, and local elected officials, organizations, and individuals to establish the New Dawn Advocacy and Resource Center, which will serve as a model for risk reduction and provide services to victims in Pound Ridge, Bedford, Lewisboro, North Salem and Somers.

I have re-built my life on the foundation and strength of: Dignity, Grace, and Hope.

PATTI’S STORY

Help our clients start on the right foot for the New Year with these essential items:

GIFT CARDSSupermarkets, Drug Stores, Metrocards, Phone Cards, American Express, Visa, Gas Cards

TO DONATE ITEMS TO OUR SHELTERVisit www.HopesDoorNY.org/wishlist

Risk Reduction Team, top, left to right: Deputy County Executive Kevin Plunkett, Lynn, Pound Ridge Town Supervisor Dick Lyman, Pound Ridge Chief of Police David Ryan, and Westchester County Board of Legislators Chair Michael Kaplowitz; Bottom, left to right: Ana Rubio, Gay French-Ottaviani, Patti, Hope’s Door Executive Director CarlLa Horton, Director of the Office for Women Robi Schlaff, and Hope’s Door Director of Development and Community Relations Jennifer Ryan Safsel

Patti Speaking at the 2017 Luncheon

The 19th Annual Teen Symposium was held at Sarah Lawrence College for the second year in a row with over 200 enthu-siastic students, teachers, staff, and volunteers in atten-dance. Executive Director CarlLa Horton’s opening remarks got the crowd excited to be a part of such an important day. The energy continued as Kristen Orlando, Prevention Program Coordinator and Symposium organizer, introduced the keynote speakers.

Kristen Paruginog, a survivor of dating abuse when in her teens and founder of Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence, shared her story along with Terry Josiah Sharpe, a man who gained a deeper understanding about unhealthy behaviors and changed his perspective and relationships for the better. The students were noticeably engaged as Kristen and Terry spoke about their experiences and personal-growth, and were able to ask questions and take pictures at the end of the presentation.

Deana’s Educational Theater returned to the Symposium to perform the powerful story of ‘The Yellow Dress’. In this one-woman play, the actress recalls how she was a victim of dating abuse and tragically lost her life at the hands of her abuser. Afterwards, the actress took herself out of charac-ter and led a discussion with the students underlining key learning points of the story.

Youth Educators Shannon Sullivan and Emily Benvenga, along with animated students from Alexander Hamilton High School’s STAR chapter, performed a skit highlighting the peer leadership club to give the audience a glimpse into a typical meeting and to encourage them to join a STAR chapter. Students then broke off into smaller groups led by volunteer facilitators. These groups created a meaning-ful peer-to-peer discussion about the central topics of the day. Students left with a goody bag filled with items from generous local donors, having learned important informa-tion about achieving healthy relationships. E-MAIL DEAR HOPE AT: DEARHOPE@HOPESDOORNY.ORG

Dear Hope, I’ve been told for years I should leave my partner. I just can’t seem to do it. I know they’re right – he’s very mean to me. Sometimes he gets so mad, he backs me against a wall and yells at me for 20 minutes. But on cold dark days or holidays, I’m glad I have someone to call my partner in life.

He’s told me to go ahead and leave him if I’m so miser-able, but then he also says: Don’t leave me, or I’ll take the children, or You won’t get a dime, or No one else will want you so you’re lucky I’m here. I kinda believe him. I make mistakes. I even yell back sometimes. However, he scares me. Once he pulled a gun out from the closet and said he’d bury me where no one would find my body. But when we celebrate the holidays with the rest of the family, it’s like old times. We play games and everyone gets along until the other families leave and we are alone again.

My sister understands it’s awful when they go, and she wor-ries that he still keeps a gun in the house. I would leave him if I didn’t have to do it alone. But I’m so afraid to be alone while trying to create a new life. I really don’t know if I can. Please help me.

Signed,

Hopeless

Dear Hopeless,I’m so glad you asked for help. You are in danger. Your partner threatened you with a gun in your own home. This increases your chance of being murdered by more than 500%. Please, seek the help of a domestic violence counselor who can help you make a safety plan and evalu-ate your options. You should consider staying at a friend’s house or fleeing to a domestic violence shelter with your children. Getting the help you need could be less lonely than how you feel right now and just might save your life. Whatever you decide to do, professional domestic violence counselors can work with you until you get on your feet. You don’t have to do it alone. Hope’s Door is here for you. We can help.

All you have to do is call our 24-hour hotline at 888-438-8700.

Here for you,

Hope

Students from Alexander Hamilton High School’s STAR Chapter with Youth Educator Shannon Sullivan and Prevention Program Coordinator Kristen Orlando

ANNUAL TEEN SYMPOSIUM

PO Box 26250 BroadwayHawthorne, NY 10532

Call our free and confidential 24/7 bilingual hotline 888.438.8700 — hablamos español. www.HopesDoorNY.org Hope’s Door Offices: 914.747.0828

Home. It’s where you should feel safe and protected. Hope’s Door. It’s who you call if you’re not. El Hogar. Es donde debes sentirse seguro y protegido. Hope’s Door. Somos a quien llamar si no lo estas.

Non-Profit Org.U.S. POSTAGE

PAID White Plains, NY

Permit No. 560

Friday, May 4, 2018 • Brae Burne Country Club Purchase, New York • 6:30 PM to 11:00 PM

For information on corporate, foundation, or individual sponsorships, contact

Jennifer Ryan Safsel at JRyanSafsel@HopesDoorNY.org

or call 914-747-0828 x1005.

To join our 2018 Gala Committee or make an auction donation, contact Caitlin Hayles at

CHayles@HopesDoorNY.org or call 914-747-0828 x1009.

Hope’s Door 2018 Annual Spring Gala Honoring

Lee Manning-Vogelstein

Gala Save the DateLee Manning-Vogelstein

Save the DateValentine’s Day Show

Hosted by Joni and Louie Lanza

Wednesday, February 14, 2018 The Factoria at Charles Point

5 John Walsh Blvd, Peekskill, NY

Come share the love on Valentine’s Day and support Hope’s Door.

For more information www.HopesDoorNY.org/events

or contact Development Associate Caitlin Hayles

914-747-0828 x 1009 CHayles@HopesDoorNY.org

Joni Lanza