CONVERSATION

Conversation in five stages

i. Openingii. Feedforwardiii. Business iv. Feedbackv. Closing

i. Opening○ Greeting – verbal and nonverbal- Verbal – initiation of the topic, making

reference to the other, personal inquiries - Nonverbal – waving, shaking hands, winking- Usually use both (verbal and nonverbal)- Normal conversation – greeting is formality or

informality and in intensify- Email - opening is header and the

announcement from ISP. eg: “You’ve got mail”

ii. Feedforwardo Give other person a general idea of what the

conversation will focus ono To preview future messageso Memos and email – feedforward function is

served in part by the header that indicates the subjects your message

iii. Business o The substance or focus of the conversationo The longest part, and it is the reason for both

opening and feedforwardo Fulfill interpersonal communication: to learn,

relate, influence, play or help

iv. Feedbacko Reflect back on the conversationo Feedback does not have to be either critical or

supportive, it can be both

v. Closing o The goodbye (the last step for conversation)o Also use verbal and nonverbalo Intention to end accesso Usually signals some degrees of

supportiveness o Offer more conclusion to the conversation

CONVERSATIONAL MANAGEMENT

• Speakers and listeners have to work together to make conversation an effective and satisfying experience.

• Include initiating, maintaining and closing conversation.

i. Initiating Conversation

• Several approaches to open a conversation can be derived from elements of interpersonal communication:

a. Self- references – say something about yourself.

b. Other references – say something about the other person and ask question

c. Relational references – say something about the two of you. d. Context references – say something about the physical, social- psychological, cultural or temporal context.

• Another way of looking at the process of initiating conversation is to examine infamous ‘opening line’ – designed to begin a romantic relationship (developed by Kleinke, 1986).

• There are three types of opening line :a. Cute flipperb. Innocuous openerc. Direct opener

a. Cute flippant – humorous, indirect and ambiguous as whether the person opening the conversation actually wants an extended encounter.

b. Innocuous – highly ambiguousc. Direct – demonstrate the speaker’s interest in

meeting the other person.

ii. Maintaining Conversation

• In maintaining conversation, there are several principles and rules that should be followed :

a. The Principle of Cooperationb. The Principle of Dialoguec. The Principe of Turn-taking

a. The Principle of Cooperation

• Implicitly agreeing with the other person to cooperate in trying to understand what each other is saying (Lindblom, 2001)

• Cooperate by using four conversational maxims.

The Maxim of Quantity

• Be as informative as necessary to communicate the intended meaning.

• Include information that make the meaning clear but omit what does not.

• People violate this maxim when they try to give unnecessary information.

The Maxim of Quality

• Say what you know or assume to be true and do not say what you know to be false.

• People violates this principle by lying, exaggerating, or minimizing major problems.

The Maxim of Relation

• Talk about what is relevant to the conversation.

• Violated by speaker who digress widely or frequently interject irrelevant comment and listener wonder how these comment are related to the discussion.

The Maxim Manner

• Be clear, avoid ambiguities, and organize your thoughts into a meaningful sequence.

• Use the terms that the listener understands and clarify terms that you suspect the listener will mot understand.

b. The Principle of Dialogue

• Dialogue – two way communication• Each person is both speaker, listener, sender

and receiver.• Objective : mutual understanding and

empathy.

c. Principle of Turn Taking

• Speaker and listener exchange roles throughout the interaction.

• Accomplish through a wide variety of verbal and non verbal cues that signal conversation turns.

Speaker cues

• i) Turn maintaining – designed to help maintaining the speaker’s role.

• Eg: continuing a gestures• ii) Turn yielding – tell the listener that you’re

finished and listener should take over the role of speaker.

• Eg: asking questions

Listener Cues

• i) Turn requesting cues- let the speaker know that you’d like to take turn as speaker

• Eg: “I’d like to say something”.• ii) Turn denying cues – reluctant to assume

the role of speaker• Eg: Avoid eye contact

• iii) Back channeling cues- Communicate various types of information back to the speaker without assuming the role of speaker.

• ‘acknowledgement tokens’• Eg: ‘mm-hm’, nod head.

iii. Closing Conversation

• Reflect back on the conversation and briefly summarize it so as to bring it to a close.

• Directly state the desire to end the conversation.

Exercise