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Conflict Management 2012

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• Many people regard conflict as a battle to win or a situation to avoid

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Communication is essential in conflict resolution

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Benefits of Conflict• Engaging in conflict can have

positive effects on relationships and organisations

• Conflict fosters an awareness that problems exist.

• Conflict raises awareness of what is important to individuals.

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• Discussing conflicting views can lead to better solutions and clarifications of important problems and issues.

• Challenging old assumptions can lead to changes in outdated practices and processes.

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• Conflict leads to authentic communication – helps people to “be real”, for example, it motivates them to participate.

• Conflicts helps individuals develop understanding and learn how to recognise and benefit from their differences.

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• Conflict becomes destructive when it hampers productivity, lowers morale, causes more and continued conflicts and causes inappropriate behaviours.

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• Destructive Conflict

• The conflict isn’t the problem – it is when conflict is poorly managed that is the problem.

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• The term conflict management implies that conflict is not an “on” or “off” phenomenon

• Conflict-handling behaviour is not a static procedure. It is a process that requires flexibility and continual evaluation to be truly productive and effective.

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• Communication behaviour is at the root of both creating and managing conflict.

• Communication creates conflict. • Communication reflects conflict. • Communication is the vehicle for

the destructive or productive management of conflict.

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• To handle conflicts more productively, we can consider the following five ‘A’s which integrate both conflict theory and interpersonal communication skills:

• a. Assessment• b. Aknowledgement• c. Attitude• d. Action• e. Analysis e-Learning Task 3

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• ASSESSMENT• During this initial stage, allow

yourself time to calm and to evaluate the situation

• e-Learning Task 4

• You need to determine the true source of the conflict and gather appropriate information or documentation

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• Assess the points you are willing or unwilling to compromise on and what the other party wants.

• Make a preliminary determination of the appropriate conflict-handling behaviour for the situation, for the relationship, and for the environment

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• Communication styles of conflict-handling behaviour

• e-Learning Task 5

• Avoiding• Accommodating• Competing• Compromising• Collaborating

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• Avoiding e-Learning Task 6

• We often avoid when we don’t want to get involved or we decide it’s not worth the effort to pursue. It’s important to “pick your battles” since they can’t all be fought and won. Avoiding is an appropriate conflict-handling style to use if you are too busy with more important concerns and if your relationship with the other party is unimportant.

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Avoiding/Withdrawing • A turtle is a symbol for the avoiding

style because it can avoid everything by pulling its head and legs into its shell to get away from everyone.

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• Accommodating e-Learning Task 7 • a. When one party in a conflict

genuinely does not care about the outcome of the conflict.

• b. When you find yourself in conflict over a fairly unimportant issue.

• c. When you do not want to strain your relationship with the other party.

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Accommodating• A chameleon is a symbol of the

accommodating style because it changes its color to match the color of its environment. By doing so, the chameleon fits quietly into its environment.

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• Competing e-Learning Task 8 • A person who chooses

competing as a conflict-handling style will

• Put his interest before anyone else’s interest.

• Maximise reaching one’s own goals or getting the problem solved at the cost of the other party’s goals or feelings.

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Competing• A lion can be a symbol of a

competitive style. The lion’s roar helps the lion satisfy its interest.

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• Compromising • When individuals compromise in

order to resolve a conflict, they are willing to “give and take” with others. They may find some middle ground and work out an agreement or solution that is partially satisfactory to both parties, but completely satisfactory to neither.

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Compromising• A zebra can be a symbol for the

compromising style. Its unique look seems to indicate that it didn’t care if it was a black horse or a white horse, so it “split the difference” and chose black-and-white stripes.

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• Collaborating

• Collaboration occurs when parties cooperatively work together until a mutually agreeable solution is found

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• e-Learning Task 9

• When individuals collaborate, they are interested in seeing that everyone’s wants are met fully.

• They tend to consider themselves a team.

• They work creatively and are solution-oriented.

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Collaborating• A dolphin usually chooses a

collaborating style. They use whistles and clicks to communicate with each other to catch food cooperatively and to summon help.

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• ACKNOWLEDGMENT• One should acknowledge and

recognise that the other party’s perspectives – his beliefs, goals, values and personality traits -may differ from his own. e-Learning Task 10

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• Attitude

• Action

• Listen Well

• Show empathy• questioning• paraphrasing• role reversal

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• Watch your verbal communication (language style)

• avoid overly vague or broad statements

• avoid ridicule and exaggerations• avoid threatening statements• avoid hostile and sarcastic remarks

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• e-Learning Task 12

• To handle a disagreement, seek first to understand, then to be understood. What can you say to the other party if you want to follow this principle?

• “ I see that we look at this issue from different perspectives. While I want to share my needs and views with you later, let me first focus on your thoughts, needs and observations.”

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• e-Learning Task 13

• As we are listening to the other party during a disagreement, we should resist the tendency to interrupt with objections no matter how unfounded some of the comments may be, or to bring up our viewpoints and concerns.

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• e-Learning Task 14

• Appropriate and more productive questions can be asked during a conflict.

• a. “If I understand you correctly, you’re upset with my tone of voice”

• b. “Do you feel that there is only one way to resolve this dispute?”

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• Paraphrasing• Paraphrasing demonstrates a

willingness to attend to and to acknowledge the concerns of others.

• “ If I understand you correctly, you are upset because you feel I interrupt you too much ” or

• “ Do you feel that I interrupt you too often? ”

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• e-Learning Task 16

• The use of “I” statements may help as it is a clear statement of what you feel or want. The party concerned receives a clear non-judgemental evaluative message and is more likely to co-operate instead of oppose you.

• So, instead of saying “You are so inconsiderate when…”, you can use an I-statement and say : “I feel upset when…..”

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• Watch your non-verbal communication

• Recognise relative power

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• e-Learning Task 17

• In disagreements, people should focus on their needs rather than on their positions.

• Even if you are in the position to decide, respect the right of the other party. This way, conflicts can be better managed

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Analysis• Consider if:1. the concerns of all articulated and considered;2. decisions can be implemented quickly and/ or

effectively;3. the short- or long-term effects of the solution

are viable; and4. the relationship between the conflicting

parties has improved.

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FINALLY:Learning to disagree amicably and work

through problems is perhaps one of the most important interpersonal skills we can develop.

• a. Individuals need to consider expressed differences as the potential for creativity and growth.

• b. Individuals can learn how to keep communication lines open and solve challenges when things go wrong.

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Activity:• Consider the following brief exchanges between two

parties. Think about what verbal strategies you can use to turn them into more productive exchanges.

• (a) Husband: Ever since you’ve gone back to work, the house hasn’t been as clean as I’d like it to be.

• Wife: You’ve got two hands and two legs. If you want a clean house, why don’t you use them to push a broom or carry out the garbage!

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Activity:• Suggested solution:• This is a case of trivialisation of the problem

through joking or sarcasm. • This kind of exchange may escalate into a full-

blown conflict. • If a clean house is the husband’s ultimate aim,

he can manage the conflict by responding with a comment such as, “I’m sorry I criticised your work. Let’s discuss what we can do to get the house cleaned.”

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