CONFABissue one

a conversation wit

h

PUFF PIECES

SUMMER 2015 FREE

Confab is created by John Davis, Christopher Grady and Sarah Grady.

Each issue of Confab consists of a single interview with musicians from the Washington, D.C. area.

Follow Confab on twitter: @confabzine

Copyright 2015. Confab.

PUFF PIECES- interview by John Davis on an early June evening in Mount Pleasant, WDC with Mike Andre and Amanda Huron of Puff Pieces.

Confab: We were talking before the interview about how I think it seems like music in D.C. has been getting better in the past few years. Maybe the best things have been in ten years or so. Do you agree? Do you think its better, worse, the same?

Mike: I dont know. Its different. Its different in a way that the entire culture is different. Theres a lack of a unified, forward-driving narrative in which direction we were going. Instead, theres kind of an entropy, where a lot of things are all happening separate from each other. Its sad to lose that forward-pushing thing, this kind of mass creative project that everyone is involved in is gone. At the same time, its also more tolerant because people are dealing with things that are off their head space all of the time. Im constantly having conversations with people at shows ten years ago, I could talk to that person and I could just peg that person right off the bat. We shared all of these reference points. If we didnt share those reference points, I would know. Now, Im meeting all of these people where there are certain aspects where Im on the same wavelength as people and some where Im not. Theres this kind of fuzzy, foggy territory when Im dealing with people. Its interesting. You gain something and you lose something. Im sad to lose the hard, direct-ed force that the D.C. punk scene used to feel like for me. Its not around as much.

Amanda: But another aspect of that is that were ten years older now and in a different social scene. When we were in our 20s, there was a lot more group stuff happening. I think that just happens in your 20s. Now, its just different.

Confab: The group that felt so large and unified before is still there, I think. Its just a smaller group. I think its still there, but a lot of the people involved in that time seemed to kind of feel not disenchant-ed, but like oh, I guess thats all over now. For me, though, I dont think its past. Its changed. There are mutations of our generations version of DIY. The principles that bands have. Its changed. So, is that what you mean by the drive being gone? What would you change? What is missing? Is it pur-pose? Cause thats what had excited me again about music here was that it felt like a sense of purpose was returning.

Amanda: I do feel excited. Theres so much happen-ing. Tons of house shows, some really cool, interesting, weird, creative bands. It isnt just hardcore or post-hard-core. Theres some weird shit going on. I play a lot in the more experimental noise scene and that scene here is really weird. Theres a little bit of overlap sometimes with

the punk world. To me, thats really rich that we have that whole scene going on here, too.

Confab: Is part of what may or may not be the changing purpose (of D.C.) be that there arent as many bands from D.C. that tour like there used to be? There was a proselytizing element that had existed or does it still exist? Certainly Priests1 is one of those kind of bands. But it used to be just what bands from here did. That to me seems different. I miss it and dont miss it. I, personally, dont miss touring for seven weeks at a time, but Im glad that there are still bands that do it.

Amanda: Yeah, thats something I feel that I dont have a very good grip on, cause were not in that sort of long haul touring situation. It seems like it does happen, but your sense is that it happens less overall?

Confab: Yes, there are some bands that I hear about going out for weeks at a time, but not as much anymore. So, its heartening to me when I hear that some bands from here still do that. Though that feeling is almost like a reflex, you know? Is that even relevant or necessary for bands? I dont know. I gather Puff Pieces isnt going to tour much? Do you want to?

Mike: Yeah! I dont know if we want to do, like, two month tours. If people were begging for us to go out (laughter) but if

3

theyre not, Im not gonna try to convince people.

Confab: But that was, I thought, the mentality behind that level of touring. No one was going to beg for you until you went out on tour, several times, and played to nobody. This idea of building a foundation. It takes so much time. But you do hear now about bands who dont have to do that. That the internet makes it easier.

Mike: My thing is like, if you want to be in touch with punk culture, you always had to make an effort to get yourself physically in the proximity of a record store where the zine is. Now, you dont have to do that. Theres something about making that effort and getting the payoff that was really exciting. Theres something about being able to get on the internet and get whatever information you want thats not really exciting, but it is useful.

Confab: I was thinking about that recently, how I so often used to read about bands WAY before I ever actu-ally heard them. There wasnt a way to hear the music unless you wanted to go pay $15 for the CD

Mike: If you could find it.

Confab: If you could find it. So, there were a bunch of bands where sometimes Id see their video and it was like I bet thats Helmet or whoever (laughter). I was thinking about how that just doesnt exist for me anymore. This idea that youd hear about a band for months before actually hearing them. That you could come across a video and not know who it was and

just wonder if it was that certain band youd been hearing. Thats just gone. And thats fine, its just a subtle thing. You hang around long enough and those things happen.

Mike: For me, I remember when Priests started playing I hadnt gone to a show in years. People were excited about this band Priests. I was excited about it, cause it was like oh, that punk thing that I was into. Someones still doing that. Something like that. The thread I see through bands like them, or us, or Neonates2 theres this implicit or explicit critique of capitalism. In the aes-thetics; maybe people are saying something; maybe its the spiky, ornery-ness of the music or the irritating weird-ness of the music. Theres this implicit bitter pill thats not particularly sellable. Who are not trying to be sellable. When I feel that in what people are doing, thats what excites me. The whole structure of the thing can change. We can all be on the internet, we can not be touring I dont really care. But if that little jagged edge in some-bodys heart, that uncomfortable thing, that awkward thing thats what I vibe with. Yeah.

Confab: Are there specific themes that are coming up with your songs as you write them. Theres seems to be an uneasiness to your songs.

Mike: Yeah.

Confab: Its not just in the music. The music is ex-tremely tense and rhythmic and theres this sort of drive to it. Theres a pulse to the songs that is that 4

very perfect zone where its uneasy, yet pleasant. There are great bands that hit that point. Thats what makes (Puff Pieces) good to me. You hit that spot. The pocket of it, the rhythm of it. When I saw you all play at MLK3, its one of those things where you see people move and get excited. Often, people dont go to shows expecting to be excited. Theyre just checking it out or its a social event. Thats one of the exciting things about seeing your band. The room picks up. Do you see your band as a dissonant thing thats harder to take?

Mike: I think Im a dissonant thing thats hard to take. (Laugh-ter) I think life is a dissonant thing thats hard to take. You know, going to your job is a dissonant thing thats hard to take. Sitting here doing this interview drinking a glass of water if you really feel it out, everything is a dissonant thing thats hard to take. Maybe it gets easier when you learn to just roll with the unbearable awkwardness of it all. Thats my hope. (Amanda laughs) As far as the music of the band being like that, its almost as if youre asking me if I want the band to do this thing to those people. I write the music, but Im not in charge of it. Im working for something else. Theres some force pushing on me to write the stuff. Im just trying to deal with that force. It wants to do something with the audience (and) Im just the middle man. Im not calling the shots.

Confab: Who is calling the shots?

Mike: I dont quite know. Theres some pressure boy, it pushes on me. It pushes on me on my dreams. It wants certain things. It doesnt want certain things.

Confab: Yeah, but thats you.

Mike: You can look at it like its me. Thats probably the sane way to look at it. But it doesnt always feel like its me. We get into the weird realm of talking about human conscious-ness here and what is my personality and what is not my personality.

Confab: Im into talking about that.

Mike: Thats great. Im into thinking about that and exploring it, too. I feel like my job is to just get out of the way. This band, were not gonna be a successful band. A few people might care about what we do. Im not trying to accomplish anything. Theres some weird energy dynamic thats happen-ing between something and something involving this crowd of people.

Confab: Thats just creativity, to me. For a long time, I tried to understand creativity as a choice. This is what Im doing because I enjoy doing it. When you write music, it just appears. Like when people talk about I just plucked this song out of the sky. Thats just the ineffable, great thing about creativity. I only really know about it from the perspective of being a musician and a songwriter. I assume its the same for sculptors, paint- 7

ers people who are driven to be creative. I dont understand where that drive comes from him. But its YOU. I think its just a part of us. Its something we dont understand. To me, it seems like you feel a little bedeviled by that creative impulse.

Mike: Yeah, I have to work so hard writing these songs. Its unbelievable. Its unbelievable.

Confab: Whats hard about it?

Mike: Many hours! Hours and hours of that stuff! Ive been working on this song for, probably, two months now. A few hours a day. Its changing continuously. I might have just nailed it yesterday. Im not sure. I have to sort of wait. Its a lot of pressure coming from nobody. No one cares. There arent human being pressuring me. But theres pressure.

Confab: Thats part of the human experience. To articulate what you feel. Especially in the case of creativity and songwriting, when it feels like its a compulsion. I might be projecting my own thing on it too much.

Mike: Its a compulsion all right.

Confab: So, youre compelled to do it but, when its done, its like was that really how it was supposed to come out? Does that make sense? You can say that however it came out was the way it was supposed to come out, but when writing songs, I think theres some sort of craft involved.

Mike: Oh yeah. Hell yeah.

Confab: Sometimes, that seems frowned upon. That admitting theres a craft element to it is frowned upon. That its supposed to be primal. And the farther you get from primal creativity, the less real it is. So, I guess, with your music what I was trying to get at is that it seemed like the creative process, the compulsion, was kind of like a burden.

Mike: Yeah, sometimes it feels like a burden. It doesnt have to be. Sometimes I deal with it well, sometimes I deal with it less well. Its this continuous, hardcore pressure to do these songs. Not just Puff Pieces stuff. These other ones Im working on it, too. Im like, maybe I should have not done this and gotten a job where I made more money or something. (Amanda laughs). This is what I did. I wont apologize for it. I dont feel bad about it. But sometimes its like, damn. Damn! As many hours as I work on this and the amount of money that I make on it? Its crazy. Its totally crazy.

Confab: Could you really see yourself doing something else.

Mike and Amanda (both): No.

Mike: The compulsion to do it Im trying to keep this thing from crushing me. Im trying to work with this thing. Ive got a tiger on my back. Theres a tiger in the room with me and Im trying to not get mauled by it.

Confab: So, music is an essential part of you being able to function?

Mike and Amanda (both): Yeah!

Mike: I like to think Id be able to function otherwise. I like to think Im not a total nut.

Amanda: That doesnt mean youre a nut.

Confab: Amanda, how do you work with the songs that Mike brings in? I assume you write the drum parts, at least?

Amanda: Its interesting. This band is all our band in that Mike writes the parts with us in mind. He writes the drum parts and the guitar parts and the bass parts. He writes them with our playing styles in mind. The band exists in the form that it does because of the three people who are playing together. But Mike writes those parts for us. Except,

8

there are some breakdown parts and those are more improvi-sational. Its fun to have a break from these very tightly struc-tured songs into where its completely improvised for a few moments.

Confab: So, you feel that your voice is being heard in the songs?

Amanda: Yeah, but I dont really care in a way. I really believe in the songs. It makes me really glad to be a part of their com-ing into the world. I dont feel like I need to have ownership over the creation. Im not really worried about that. Maybe that dynamic is helped because I play in another band with another friend and that band is completely a totally different thing. Its almost completely improvisational and almost a completely other scene. This isnt my only musical thing that I do. Also, Ive never given a shit about writing songs. I like playing drums. I like the physicality of it. Being a part of this driving thing thats happening. Ive never been interested in songwrit-ing. I also feel, especially recently, a lot of creative work of my own is going into writing the book Im doing.

Confab: Do you mind telling me about it?

Amanda: Its based on my dissertation, so its an academic book. It looks at this history of affordable housing co-opera-tives in Washington, D.C. How these people who are a part of them are able to maintain these non-capitalist spaces in the midst of this incredibly pressured real estate market. I did a ton of interviews for it. Its a big project, obviously, cause it was my dissertation. But now its fun cause its like turning into this book where the writing actually matters. The dissertation, no

one cares about your writing. But I do care about writing, so its fun to turn into something thats interesting and engaging to read when its published.

Confab: When might that be?

Amanda: Im hoping that its publishing in the spring of 2018. (Laughs) Its with an academic press, so it goes through two rounds of peer review and its a lot of re-sponding to reviewers comments and things like that. But its fun! Right now, its summer and Im not teaching. All Im doing is writing this book and playing shows. Its great. Its totally great. I feel like (Mike and I) both have different creative streams or something. But its funny, whenever I tell people in academia (about the band), theyre always like its great that you can do that and blow off the stress of the academic life. Its actually really intense. This is probably more important, being in the world and commu-nicating with people.

Confab: What do you both think that Justin (Moyer, the bands guitarist) brings to the band?

Amanda: He brings a very different energy to the band.

Confab: How would you describe that?

Mike: Im like a piece of wood. Amandas like wind. Justins like fire. (Amanda laughs) So, you get the two of them together its like, her drumming is kind of skittery and, the way he plays, his particular rhythm is kind of like flickery fire. You get them together and get a nice confla-

gration going. (Both laugh). Thats kind of the energy of that.

Confab: Mike, I know youve worked with Justin for a long time.4 Amanda, have you played with him before?

Amanda: This is my first time. But Justin has been in my life for a really long time. (Laughs) And will be in my life for the rest of my life. Which is great. So, I feel like were sort of like family in a way.

Confab: Mike, tell me about the song where you put down the bass (during live performances) and just sing without an instrument. Whats that like?

Mike: Well (pauses) You dont have the mechanical device to hide behind. You feel more physical awkward-ness standing there.

Confab: You still have something. Youre holding this thing and singing into it. Theres still some ele-ment of structure.

Mike: When were playing, I started to notice theres, like, three levels of consciousness that happen and Im always trying to get to the third. Theres an awareness of the mechanical things that youre doing. I have to worry about my hand, I have to worry about my voice, I have to worry about remembering lyrics, a bunch of stuff like that. So, Im just thinking about my hand, or something, most of the time. When that sort of gets going smoothly, theres another level thats like (rapidly) do they like me I hope they like me I really wish theyd like me are they starting to like me. A very egotistical, sort of worrying about my personality. How is my personality functioning in this situation? Oh, theyre hating me. Oh, theyre get-ting bored. Those people are walking away.

Confab: In my life, I never feel more like I care about that then when Im playing music. When Im out in the world, I dont care at all if you like me. Im doing things my way. But then on stage, its like (laughter) they dont like it. Thats all I think about on stage. Unless theyre going totally crazy (laughter) and then its like well, thats how it should be. I guess its going all right. But the rest of the time, its like no, they dont like it.

Mike: Theres this unbelievable, endless stream of consciousness, internal dialogue going on when were playing shows. So, thats the second level. Then, at a certain point, Im like ok, so this is whats going on. My ego is ok, my hand is ok, my breathing is ok, my body is ok. Theres a third level which is like where its at. My mind just gets quiet. My emotions are there, but its like Im watching them from far away. When you play a show, you probably notice, theres a time dilation that happens. Do you notice that?

Confab: Yes, yes.

Mike: Time slows down. If you focus on that time dilation, you put your mind in there, things get really interesting. Things get quiet. Things get spacious. The personality is kind of there, but far away. Youre playing the music, but the music is playing you. Your body is the music. The duality that my body is going to make this thing happen to these people its just gone. Theres this thing happening and youre just there doing it. I always see this image in my mind when that starts to hit and its like my eyes are like salt shakers, like little dots. Thats when Im in the zone. Thats the thing to go for. In there, you start to notice some other things happening that I want to ex-plore with the audience as a group. You feel an awareness of the consciousness of the group rising up thats like an entity in the room. Its not really me, not really us. Its some thing thats kind of intelligent, some weird field of energy that is here. So, thats what interests me. But I have to get to the third stage to explore that.

Confab: I feel like my self-consciousness on stage is almost like me mistakenly trying to stay connected to the room. I dont want to detach and look at the exit sign in the back of the room. I want to stay here. But in staying here, Im stuck in that spot where its like oh, the ap-

10

plause was limited on that one (laughter). Or looking out and seeing people on the phone or talking

Mike: That couple going out the door.

Confab: Earlier in my life, I would say things to those people. Some passive aggressive comment. (laugh-ter) Ive since learned thats annoying (laughter). But theres still that urge to say something under the guise of being sarcastic or whatever. Thats a problem for me. Getting stuck in that zone, like you said.

Mike: I think were all in that zone most of the time.

Confab: What sort of meditation do you practice?

Amanda: The meditation that I practice is coming out of a Buddhist Vipassana5 style of sitting. Its just a daily prac-tice. Get up in the morning and sit. Its interesting. Ive only been doing it for about a year and a half.

Confab: I assume you feel a difference?

Amanda: Yeah, I do. Its part of the routine, which is nice. I didnt know how I was going to fit into my day, which is kind of crazy in retrospect. Its like sitting and watching what happens.

Confab: Watching yourself?

Amanda: Yeah, youre breathing. Watching whats happen-ing in my body and mind.

Confab: Had you meditated before?

Amanda: Mike got me into qigong6, cause he was doing that for a long time. I was having back and various little problems and started studying it with a woman in New York City, where I was living at the time. I did that for a few years and then started studying seated meditation. You just want to slow it down all the way.

NOTES

1. Priests are a Washington, D.C. band formed in 2012. Their full-length album Bodies and Control and Money and Power was split-released on Sister Polygon Records and Don Giovanni Records in June 2014.

2. Neonates are a band from Los Angeles, CA that moved to Washington, D.C. Their most recent full-length release from August 2013, called Neonates, was released on Sister Polygon Records.

3. Puff Pieces performed at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library in Washington, D.C. on June 11, 2015.

4. Mike and Justin played together in Antelope (2001-2008), which put out three releases on Dischord Records.

5. Vipassan meditation is an ancient practice taught by Buddhas, in which mindfulness of breathing and of thoughts, feelings and actions are used to gain insight in the true nature of reality, to cultivate wisdom and compassion. The modern mindfulness movement finds its roots here.

6. Qigong is an ancient Chinese spiritual practice and alternative health practice designed to align body (through stationary or mov-ing postures), breath, and mindful focus. Qigong loosely translates into cultivating energy.

Confab: That seems at odds with the kind of music you make.

Amanda: Well, in a way, but playing drums for me is incred-ibly meditative. Its funny, what you guys are talking about, do they like me and all I mean, Im behind the drums, but its an extremely meditative experience for me, playing drums. I need to watch out for that. To stay present with the people Im playing with. I think the music is a result of our meditation practice.

Mike: When you really dig into meditation its actually jagged as hell when you get in there and see what the mind is doing, its really a damn mess. Its awful, you know? I mean theres a sense that meditation is really like good for you and nice and soothing and it can be in ways but when you really start to watch your mind its more like pretty unsettling.

Confab: I always thought of meditation to be like a flashlight or something in a dark room (agreement all around).

Mike: Well look at see what you see in a dark room its not as nice as you may think.

Confab: So you feel that through meditation youve been able to cope with or even smooth some of those jagged things in you?

Mike: Yeah, I think good meditation will bring up strata of your mind that you didnt really know was there and is pretty unstable. And, if things go well then, like, you can... you gain freedom within this uncomfortable thing. A very real freedom. But you kind of have to go through some shit to do it.

Puff Pieces have previously released a 7 record on Lovitt Records. Lovitt will also be releasing the first full length album from Puff Pieces in the not too distant future.