Concise writingMaking your writing readable

What is concise?

Using most effective words Eliminate weak, unnecessary words

Roy Peter Clark advice

Cut big, then small

Replace vague words with specifics One powerful word can replace

several vague words.

Examples

The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech (14 words)

The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)

Examples

Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14 words)

Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)

Be a word prosecutor

Does every word add something to the sentence?

Delete dead weight words.

Examples

The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22 words)

The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)

Examples

Since she was a little girl growing up in Lincoln, Brown has been a natural learner. (16)

Since she was a little girl in Lincoln, Brown has been a quick study. (14)

Unnecessary words

“in view of the fact” becomes “because” “set a new record” becomes “set a record” “in the vicinity of” becomes “near”

Combine sentences

Some information doesn’t need a separate sentence.

Examples

New riders need to learn cycling etiquette. Brown said the riders taught her the basics of cycling. (17)

New riders need to learn cycling etiquette, and Brown said the group taught her the basics. (16)

Examples

The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words)

The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)

Eliminate words

Delete words that explain the obvious.

Examples

Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess. (27 words)

Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess. (9 words)

One word at a time

In fall 2006, Brown began training with her current coach, Marc Walter, of Rightway Personal Training.

In fall 2006, Brown began training with coach Marc Walter of Rightway Personal Training.

Modifiers

Eliminate unnecessary words or phrases

Examples

Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help. (14 words)

Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help. (10 words)

Cut these

kind of sort of really basically definitely actually generally

Watch for words that repeat Our branch office currently employs five

tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday. (27 words)

Our branch office employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods. (24 words)

Omit redundant pairs

past history various differences each individual true facts future plans end result final outcome free gift

Omit redundant categories large in size often times period in time an early time of cheap quality in a confused state

Change phrases

Use a single word instead

Examples

The employee with ambition The ambitious employee The department showing the best

performance The best-performing department

Who, which, that

Dump unnecessary clauses

Examples

The report, which was released recently,

The recently released report All applicants who are interested in

the job All job applicants

Make passive verbs active An account was opened by Mrs.

Jones. Mrs. Jones opened an account. A training schedule was created by

Walter. Walter created a training schedule.

Avoid these

Starting sentences with “It is” or “There are.”

There are four rules that must be obeyed.

Four rules must be obeyed.

Avoid noun forms of verbs The function of this department is

the collection of accounts. This department collects accounts.

Avoid unnecessary infinitive phrases The duty of the clerk is to check the

e-mail. The clerk’s duty is to check e-mail.

Be direct.

At this point in time = now In regards to = about It is important that = must Is able to = can

Credit to: OWL at Purdue More resources:

http://grammar.about.com/od/words/tp/clutter_tips.htm