Megan Owen

Personal Health 100-01

12/08/10

Cohabiting: The New Trend

Only 12% of couples who live together before they get married will have a marriage that

lasts more than ten years. Cohabiting is a new way of life in which many people participate but it

is changing the world’s idea of marriage. Cohabitation is defined as “the status of couples who

are unmarried, sexual partners, sharing the same household” (Prinz, 1995, p. 8). The past few

decades have shown an increasing amount of people cohabiting and less people seeing marriage

as an achievement (Garrison, 2007). The number of couples cohabiting has increased from 33%

in 1987 to 45% in 1997 (Yoon, 2002, p. 2). This is caused by the “increasing levels of premarital

sex, premarital pregnancy, divorce, and egalitarian gender roles” (Thornton, Axinn, and Xie,

2007, p. 331). During this day and age, it is becoming more acceptable to cohabit.

Cohabiting has become the norm (Dempsey & de Vaus, 2004), but it is not nearly as

effective as marriage. On average, a cohabiting relationship lasts only about two years before

breaking up or getting married. Less than four percent last for more than ten years and the longer

a couple cohabits, the greater chance they have of divorce (The Facts Behind Cohabitation). A

cohabiting union is not clear in showing the intent of the couple participating in this trend.

Unlike cohabiting, marriage shows the public and the government the intentions of the man and

wife and they are assumed to be one. In a cohabiting relationship, marital intent is hard to prove

(Garrison, 2007). This can come into effect if one of the partners of the cohabiting union were to

die or if there was a lawsuit following the break-up. Cohabiting unions run on trust (Prinz, 1995,

p. 80).

The needs that come with cohabiting is different than those that come with marriage.

Cohabiting relationships demand more from the relationship than a marriage (Prinz, 1995, p.

80). These relationships only run on trust but married couples are more “couple oriented” while

cohabiters depend less on their partners (p. 80). You would think that people who just depend on

trust to keep their relationship together would be more partner oriented but that is not the cases

and it is one reason that these relationships don’t last.

It is usually engaged couples who are cohabiting (Young Men: Ready to Marry?), but

that is not always the case. There are many couples without future plans who are living together.

All ages and social statuses are now living together, though there is majority of certain classes.

Cohabiting is more common in African Americans than Caucasians (Yoon, 2002, p. 64). Also,

women with college degrees are more likely to cohabit than marry (p. 65). Cohabiting is more

popular among younger people (p. 66) but this can lead to more problems in the long run.

In cohabiting unions, couples don’t always agree on the nature of their relationship

(Garrison, 2007). There are situations where one partner in the relationship believes that they

will eventually marry the other while the other partner does not agree with this. This can cause

confusion and hardship in the relationship.

The biggest risk to cohabiting couples is that, once they are married, they are more likely

to get divorced. These couples tend to marry for the wrong reasons. The reasons that get them to

move in together in the first places are usually the thought of losing their partner, financial

reasons, or to spend more time with each other. You may think these are good reasons to move in

together but these can lead to marrying prematurely. A couple may think that it would be easier

to get married than to break up and have to figure out what amount of money is theirs and what

else belongs to him/her. A couple should not marry just to make it easier on themselves.

When couples cohabit, they think of it as a “trial marriage” (Waite, 2000). They believe

that this will tell them everything they will need to know about their parents before they say “I

do.” This is not the case. The National Survey of Family and Households tells us that most

cohabiters say that they live together to make sure they are compatible with their partner (Waite,

2000). When asked, most teens, ages 13 to 17, said that they approve of couples living together

before marriage (Hernandez, 2005, p. 64). They also think that cohabiting takes the places of

premarital education. Wilson (2009) says, this does not take the place of this education, but

instead increases the need (p. 92).

It is thought that, when people cohabit, their attitudes change and they are no longer as

committed to their partner as they were before they were living together. This causes couples to

breakup/divorce faster than other couples. As it seems, people who cohabit do not have the same

characteristics as people who marry. These changes in characteristics can lead to a shorter

relationship and a higher chance of divorce if they ever marry (Waite, 2000).

Cohabiting may be the new trend but it is not benefitting these couples. Cohabiting may

seem like a good thing to do to be able to see if you really are compatible with your mate but

more bad comes from it than good. By waiting to live together until marriage, couples can have

an increased chance of having a long and fulfilling marriage.

Works Cited

Dempsey, K., and de Vaus D. Who cohabits in 2001? The significance of age, gender,

religion, and ethnicity. Journal of Sociology. (2004): 157-79. Retrieved December

1, 2010.

Garrison, M. The decline of formal marriage: inevitable or reversible? Family Law

Quarterly. (2007): 491-521. Retrieved December 1, 2010.

Hernandez, R. E. (2005). Teens and relationships. Stockton, NJ: OTTN Publishing.

Prinz, C. (1995). Cohabiting, married, or single: portraying, analyzing, and modeling

new living arrangements in the change societies of europe. Brookfield, Vermont: Ashgate

Publishing Company.

The facts behind cohabitation. Civitas. Retrieved December 1, 2010.

Thornton, A., Axinn, W. G., and Xie, Y. (2007). Marriage and cohabitation. Chicago,

IL: University of Chicago Press.

Waite, L. J. (2000). The negative effects of cohabitation. The Communitarian Network.

.Wilson, M. (2009). Divorce. Farmington Hills, MI: Greenhaven Press.

Young men: ready to marry? Or live together? Study looks at cohabiting, marriage during

men’s career development process. US Newswire. Retrieved December 1, 2010.

Yoon, H. (2002). Economic consequences of dissolution and marital and cohabiting unions on

men, women, and children: responses of labor market and public policies to their

economic adjustment. Diss. Washington University, 2002. Saint Louis: Washington

University.