NEGOTIATIONINSTRUCTOR: Prof. Azize ERGENELİ

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

HAZIRLAYANLAR Onur

ALTINTAŞÖzge EROĞLU

Nihal HASDEMİR

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MART 2007

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

CLOTHES.................................................................................................................................1COLOR......................................................................................................................................2DESIGN.....................................................................................................................................4LIGHTING................................................................................................................................6MOVABLE OBJECTS AND SEATING................................................................................6

1. Leadership:......................................................................................................................72. Dominance:.....................................................................................................................73. Task:................................................................................................................................8

a) Conversion..............................................................................................................8b) Cooperation.............................................................................................................8c) Coaction..................................................................................................................9d) Competition.............................................................................................................9

4. Sex and Acquaintance:....................................................................................................95. Motivation.......................................................................................................................96. Introversion-Extraversion.............................................................................................10

SPACE......................................................................................................................................12SILENCES...............................................................................................................................13

A) Silences Occur in Interpersonal Communication:...........................................................13B) Silences Are Not Random...............................................................................................13C) Silence May Be Appropriate or Inappropriate:...............................................................15

THE EFFECTS OF VOCAL CUES......................................................................................15Vocal Cues and Personality..................................................................................................17Vocal Cues and Emotion......................................................................................................18

MATERIAL USAGE IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION........................................182) Using Eyeglasses..............................................................................................................19

TOUCH....................................................................................................................................20Who Touches Whom, Where, and How Much?...................................................................21Types of Touch.....................................................................................................................23

1. The Handshake......................................................................................................232. The Body-Guide....................................................................................................233. The Pat..................................................................................................................234. The Arm-Link.......................................................................................................235. The Shoulder Embrace..........................................................................................236. The Full Embrace..................................................................................................237. The Hand-in-Hand................................................................................................238. The Waist Embrace...............................................................................................239. The Kiss................................................................................................................2310. The Hand-to-Head.................................................................................................2311. The Head-to-Head.................................................................................................2312. The Caress.............................................................................................................2413. The Body Support.................................................................................................2414. The Mock-Attack..................................................................................................24

The Meanings of Interpersonal Touch.................................................................................241. Touch as Positive Affect.......................................................................................242. Touch as Negative Affect......................................................................................243. Touch as Play........................................................................................................244. Touch as Influence................................................................................................245. Touch as Interaction Management........................................................................25

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6. Touch as Interpersonal Responsiveness................................................................257. Touch as Accidental..............................................................................................258. Touch as Task Related..........................................................................................259. Touch as Healing...................................................................................................2510. Touch as Symbolism.............................................................................................25

Self-Touching.......................................................................................................................261. Shielding Actions..................................................................................................262. Cleaning Actions...................................................................................................263. Specialized Signals................................................................................................264. Self-Intimacies......................................................................................................26

TIME........................................................................................................................................271. Time as Location...........................................................................................................282. Time as Duration...........................................................................................................283. Time as Intervals...........................................................................................................284. Time as Patterns of Intervals.........................................................................................29

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WOMEN & MEN IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION..............................................................................................................29

Kinesics - body movement (gestures, facial expression, posture)........................................30Oculesics - eye contact, gaze................................................................................................32Haptics - touch and the use of it...........................................................................................32Proxemics - space and the use of it......................................................................................32Theory’s Limitations............................................................................................................33

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.........................33Collectivist and Individualist Cultures.................................................................................34

Traits of Collectivism......................................................................................................34Traits of Individualism.....................................................................................................34

High and Low Context Cultures...........................................................................................35Low Context Cultures......................................................................................................36

Monochromic People............................................................................................................36High Context Cultures.....................................................................................................37

Polychronic People...............................................................................................................37Large and Small Power Distance Cultures...........................................................................37Nonverbal Communication Differences Around the World................................................38

Facial Expressions...........................................................................................................38Proximity.........................................................................................................................39Haptics.............................................................................................................................40Silence..............................................................................................................................41Kinesics............................................................................................................................41Greetings..........................................................................................................................42Beckoning........................................................................................................................43

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION IN JOB INTERVİEWS..........................................44What to Bring to an Interview..............................................................................................44What Not to Bring to an Interview.......................................................................................45How to Dress for an Interview.............................................................................................46

Men's Interview Attire.....................................................................................................46Women's Interview Attire................................................................................................46

REFERENCES........................................................................................................................47

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CLOTHES

Appearance and dress are part of the total nonverbal stimuli that influence

interpersonal responses, and under some conditions they are the primary determinants of such

responses.

First we need to answer a basic question: “Do clothes communicate?” Of course our

answer will be “YES”… In a survey of 415 personnel executives in the Chicago area, 91

percent claimed that a job applicant’s dress and grooming showed his or her attitude toward

the company; 95 percent said appropriate dress was a definite aid in career advancement.

Clothes also seem to be important to first impressions. Males and females were asked

what things they noticed about persons when they first met them. They were given ten

characteristics of appearance from which to choose. Females noticed clothes first for both

same and opposite-sexed partners; males also looked at clothes first for same-sexed partners,

but for members of the opposite sex, clothes took third place behind figure and face (“First

Impressions” August/September 1983).

All of the aforementioned incidents suggest clothing is believed to play an important

role in interpersonal relations. Lawyers have long known that their client’s manner of dress

may have an impact on the judgements made by the judge and/or jury. Some defendants have

even been encouraged to put on a simulated wedding ring to offset any prejudice against

single persons. To determine whether our judgements of others are ever made on the basis of

clothes alone, it is necessary to measure the effects of changing the type of clothing while

keeping everything else the same. Experiments by Hoult (1954) were designed on this basis.

First, 46 students rated 13 male classmates on such things as “best-looking”, “most likely to

succeed”, “most intelligent”, “most like to date or double date with”, “best personality” and

“most likely to have as class president”. The 4 men with the highest ratings were told to

“dress down”, while the 4 men with the lowest ratings were told to “dress up”. Others were

told to dress the same. Two weeks later, ratings were again obtained. Hoult found no evidence

that clothes had been influential in changing the ratings, even though the independent ratings

of clothes showed they did, indeed, indicate “dressing up” or “dressing down” from the

previous outfits. A high correlation between the social closeness of the raters and models and

the social ratings prompted Hoult to conduct another study using models who were complete

strangers to the raters. In this study, he used photos of male strangers who were rated by 254

students from two colleges. Having obtained independent ratings of clothes and the models’

heads, Hoult was able to place high-ranked outfits on models with low-ranked heads. Lower-

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ranked clothing was placed on models with higher-ranked heads. He found that higher-ranked

clothing was associated with an increase in rank, while lower-ranked clothing was associated

with loss of rank. Clothing, then, did seem to be significant factor affecting judgements

students made about these strangers.

While Hoult’s work is helpful in demonstrating the communicative value of clothes,

an equally important conclusion can be derived from the failure of his first experiment. This

first experiment demonstrates one of the conditions under which clothing may not be a highly

influential factor in interpersonal perception of others: when the observer is well acquainted

with the person being observed. Changes in the clothing of a family member or close friend

may indicate a temporary change of mood, but it is likely that we will not perceive any basic

change in values, attitudes or personality traits unless the clothing change becomes permanent

for that individual. In addition to social closeness to the person being observed, other factors

may modify responses to clothes, such as the psychological-social orientation and background

of the observer and the particular task or situation within which the observation is made.

Up to this point, we have established that clothing communicates a variety of messages

and that the people we interact with respond in various ways to those messages. But what

about the effect of clothing on the self-image of the wearer? Gibbins, in his work with fifteen

and sixteen-year-old girls, for instance, found a definite relationship between clothes that were

liked and ratings of ideal self. In other fascinating discovery, we see a potential link between

clothing and self-concept. High-school boys who had higher achievement test scores but who

were clothing deemed “unacceptable” by their peers were found to have lower grade point

averages than those who were “acceptable” clothing (Hamilton & Warden, 1966). This latter

group also found themselves in less conflict and in more school activities.

People adorn themselves with a number of other artifacts such as badges, tattoos,

masks, earrings and jewelry. Any discussion of clothing must take these artifacts into

consideration because they are also potential communicative stimuli. A ring worn on a

particular finger, a fraternity or sorority pin worn in a particular configuration and a single

earring worn on a particular ear all may communicate something about the nature of one’s

relationships and self-image.

COLOR

People believe colors can affect behavior. For example, the walls of the San Diego city

jail were at one time reportedly painted pink, baby blue and peach on the assumption that

pastel colors would have a calming effect on the intimates. Following a research study that

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concluded that looking at pink would make people weaker, (Pelligrini & Schauss, 1980), the

San Jose, California, country jail reportedly painted two holding cells “shocking pink” in the

belief that prisoner hostility would be reduced. Prisoners seemed less hostile for about fifteen

minutes, but soon the hostility reached a peak, and after three hours some prisoners were

tearing the paint off the wall. A few years later, researchers again tested pink. This time pink

was found to be arousing rather than weakening (Smith, Bell & Fusco, 1986)! More effective

results seemed to come from the program that allowed prisoners to paint their cells with colors

they chose. These are a few examples of organizations that have tried to use findings from

environmental research suggesting that colors, in conjunction with other factors, do influence

moods and behavior.

A group of researchers in Munich, Germany, studied the impact of colors on mental

growth and social relations. (“Blue Is Beautiful.” 1973). Children who were tested in rooms

that thought beautiful scored about twelve points higher on IQ test than those in rooms they

thought ugly. Blue, yellow, yellow-green, and orange were considered beautiful; white, black,

and brown were considered ugly. The beautifully colored rooms also seemed to stimulate

alertness and creativity. In the orange room, these psychologists found that positive social

reactions (friendly words, smiles) increased 53 percent, while negative reactions (irritability,

hostility) decreased 12 percent.

A series of studies on the color of uniforms worn by football and hockey players

pinpointed the complex ways colors may affect behavior. Frank and Gilovich (1988) began by

demonstrating that students rated black uniforms as connoting meanness and aggression more

than other colors. Then they examined statistics from actual professional games and found

that football and hockey teams wearing black uniforms were penalized more than teams

wearing other colors. And when a team changed its color to black from some other color, it

began getting more penalties!

Mehriban says the most pleasant hues are, in order, blue, green, purple, red, and

yellow (Mehriban, 1976). He suggests that the most arousing hue is red, followed by orange,

yellow, violet, blue, and green. The results (see Table 1) show that for some mood-tones a

single color is significantly related; for others there may be two or more colors (Murray &

Deabler, 1957; Wexner, 1954).

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Table 1:

COLORS AND ASSOCIATED WİTH MOODS:

Mood-Tone Color

Exciting/Stimulating Red

Secure/Comfortable Blue

Distressed/Disturbed/Upset Orange

Tender/Soothing Blue

Protective/Defending Red

Brown

Blue

Black

Purple

Despondent/Dejected/Unhappy/Melancholy Black

Brown

Calm/Peaceful/Serene Blue

Green

Dignified/Stately Purple

Cheerful/Jovial/Joyful Yellow

Defiant/Contrary/Hostile Red

Orange

Black

Powerful/Strong/Masterful Black

DESIGN

Hall (1966) has labeled the architecture and objects in our environment as either fixed-

feature space and semifixed-feature space. Fixed-feature refers to space organized by

unmoving boundaries (rooms of houses); semifixed-feature refers to the arrangement of

movable objects such as tables or chairs. Both can have a profound impact on our

communication behavior.

At one time in U.S. history, banks were deliberately designed to project an image of

strength and security. The design frequently featured large marble pillars, an abundance of

metal bars and doors, uncovered floors, and bare walls. This style generally projected a cold,

impersonal image to visitors. Later bankers perceived the need to change their environment, to

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create a friendly, warm, “homey” place where people would enjoy sitting down and

discussing their financial needs and problems. Bank interiors began to change. Carpeting was

added; wood replaced metal; cushioned chairs were added; plotted plants and art were brought

in for additional warmth.

Sometimes we get very definite person or couple-related messages from home

environments. The designation of places in the home for certain activities (and not for others);

the symbolism attached to various objects in the home; and ways of decorating the home may

tell us a lot about the nature of the couple’s relationship (Altman, Brown, Staples, & Warner,

1992). We may be influenced by the mood created by the wallpaper, by the symmetry and/or

orderliness of objects displayed, by pictures on the walls, and by the quality and apparent cost

of items placed around the house. Most of us have experienced being ushered into a living

room that we perceive as “unloving” room. We hesitate to sit down or touch anything because

the room seems to say, “This room is for show purposes only; sit, walk, and touch carefully. It

takes a lot of time and effort to keep this room neat, clean, and tidy; we don’t want to clean it

after you live.” The arrangement of other living rooms seems to say, “Sit down, make yourself

comfortable, feel free to talk informally, and don’t worry about spilling things.” Interior

decorators and product promotion experts often make experimental and intuitive judgments

about the influence of certain colors, objects, shapes, arrangements, and so forth, but few

empirical attempts have been made to validate these feelings.

One of the earliest empirical studies to focus on the influence of interior decoration on

human responses was conducted by Maslow and Mintz (1956). Maslow and Mintz selected

three rooms for study: One was an “ugly” room (designed to give impression of a janitor’s

storeroom in disheveled condition); one was a “beautiful” room (complete with carpeting,

drapes, and the like); and one was an “average” room (a professor’s office). Subjects sitting in

these rooms were asked to rate a series of negative print photographs (to control for color,

shading, and so forth) of faces. The experimenters tried to keep all factors, such as time of

day, odor, noise, type of seating, and experimenter, constant from room to room so that results

could be attributed to the type of room. Results showed that subjects in the beautiful room

gave significantly higher ratings on “energy” and “well-being” to the faces than did

participants in the ugly room.

Experimenters and subjects alike engaged in various escape behaviors to avoid the

ugly room. The ugly room was variously described as producing monotony, fatigue,

headache, discontent, sleep, irritability, and hostility. The beautiful room, however, produced

feelings of pleasure, comfort, enjoyment, importance, energy, and desire to continue activity.

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Similar studies found that students do better on tests, rate teachers higher, and solve problems

more effectively in “beautiful” rooms than in “ugly” ones (Campbell, 1979; Wollin &

Montagre, 1981).

Sometimes it is a powerful force, but sometimes the close relationship between the two

parties, an understanding of or tolerance for clutter, positive behavior on the part of other

person, and other factors will offset any negative effects emanating from an “ugly”

environment.

LIGHTING

Lighting also helps to structure our perceptions of an environment, and these

perceptions also may influence the type of messages we send. If we enter a dimly lit or

candlelit room, we may talk more softly, sit closer together, and presume that more personal

communication will take place (Meer, 1985). When the dim lights are brightened, however,

the environment tends to invite less intimate interaction. When dimly lit nightclubs flash on

bright lights, it is often a signal that closing time is near and allows patrons some time to

make the transition from one mood to another.

The absence of light seems to be a central problem for people who suffer from

“seasonal affective disorder.” a form of depression particularly acute in winter months.

Therapists have successfully treated these people by exposing them to extremely bright

lighting for several hours each morning.

MOVABLE OBJECTS AND SEATING

If we know that the arrangement of certain objects in our environment can help

structure communication, it is not surprising that we often try to manipulate objects to elicit

certain types of responses. Special, intimate evenings are often highlighted by candlelight, soft

music, favorite drinks, fluffed pillows on the couch, and the absence of dirty dishes, trash,

impersonal material associated with daily living.

Employees often use objects to personalize their offices. These signs of personal

identity make the employee feel more satisfied with his or her work life and provide visitors

with information to initiate a conversation. Since the company also wants to communicate its

identity, the amount and kind of personal objects employees display must also be consistent

with the image the company wants to display. The interior of an executive suite clearly may

indicate the perceived status of the inhabitant, for example, expensive paintings, large desk,

plush sofa and chairs, drapes, and so forth (Monk, 1994).

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Desks seem to be important objects in the conduct of interpersonal communication. An

experiment set in a doctor’s office suggests that the presence or absence of a desk may

significantly alter the patient’s “et ease” state (White, 1953). With the desk separating doctor

and patient, only 10 percent of the patients were perceived “at ease”, whereas removal of the

desk increased the percentage of “at ease” patients to 55 percent. Student/teacher relationships

also seem to be affected by desk placement (Zweigenhaft, 1976).

The arrangement of other items of furniture can facilitate or inhibit communication.

Rearranging the furniture to encourage interaction doubled the frequency of resident

conversations (Sommer & Ross, 1958). Even when conversational possibilities have been

maximized, not everyone will talk to everyone else. The findings about seating behavior and

spatial positioning can be summarized under the following categories:

*Leadership

*Dominance

*Task

*Sex and acquaintance

*Motivation

*Introversion-extraversion

1. Leadership: It seems to be a norm, in he United States at least, that leaders are expected to be found

at the head or foot of the table. At a family gathering, we generally find the head of the

household sitting at the head of the table. Elected group leaders generally put themselves in

the head positions at rectangular tables, and the other group members try to position

themselves so they can see the leader.

X X

2. Dominance: 2 3 4

1 5

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In analysis of talking frequency in small groups, Hare and Bales (1963) noted that

people in positions 1, 3, and 5 (at left) were frequent talkers. Subsequent studies revealed that

these people were likely to be dominant personalities, while those who avoided the central or

focal positions (by choosing seats 2 and 4) were more anxious and actually stated they wanted

to stay out of the discussion. Positions 1,3, and 5 also were considered to be positions of

leadership but of a different type, depending on the position. The two end positions (1 and 5)

attracted the task-oriented leader, while the middle position attracted a socioemotional leader-

one concerned about group relationships, getting everyone to participate, and so and so forth.

Also according to work by Robert and Barbara Sommer, the most likely conversation is

between 4 and 5. The other main conversations will occur between people in positions 2 and

3, 3 and 4. 4 and 5 are twice as likely to talk to each other as 3 and 4.

3. Task: Sommer’s observations of seating behavior in student cafeterias and libraries led him

to study how students would sit in different task situations. In each case, persons were asked

to imagine themselves sitting at a table with a friend of the same sex in each of the following

four situations:

a) Conversion: Sitting and chatting for a few minutes before class (“before work” for

nonstudents).

X

X

b) Cooperation: A cooperative seating arrangement is more likely to be diagonal or

side by side. In fact, we talk about being “on the same side” in arguments or

discussions. In a diagonal seating, close contact can be maintained, although the corner

of the table or desk provides some safety from unwanted intrusions into your personal

space. For example; sitting and studying together for the same exam (“sitting doing

crossword or the like together” for nonstudents).

X X

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c) Coaction: Sitting studying for different exams (“sitting at the same table reading” for

nonstudents).

X

X

d) Competition: Sitting face to face across a table is likely to be perceived as

competition. Most competitive games, in fact, are played face to face. When you sit

face to face on the other side of someone’s desk, you may tend to perceive the

situation in competitive or adversary terms. For example; competing to see who will

be the first to solve a series of puzzles.

X

X

4. Sex and Acquaintance:

The nature of the relationship may make a difference in spatial orientation and hence,

in seating selection. Cook (1970) conducted a questionnaire study and obtained some

observational data of persons interacting in a restaurant and several bars. Subjects in the

questionnaire study were asked to select seating arrangements when:

*Sitting with a casual friend of the same sex

*Sitting with a casual friend of the opposite sex

*Sitting with a boyfriend or girlfriend

The seating pattern, as stated by questionnaire respondents using bar as a referent, was

corner seating for the same-sex friends and casual friends of the opposite sex. Intimate friends

appear to desire side-by-side seating, however. In a restaurant, all variations of sex and

acquaintance seem to select opposite seating, with more side-by-side seating occurring

between intimate friends.

5. Motivation: We can regulate intimacy with another through either increasing eye contact or

decreasing distance. Of course, we may do both. Prior to study by Cook (1970), we did not

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know what conditions prompt the use of distance and what conditions prompt the use of eye

contact. Again respondents made seating selections based on different types (positive and

negative) and different levels (high, medium, and low) of motivation. For example, high-

positive motivation was “sitting with your boy-or girlfriend.” and high-negative motivation

was “sitting with someone you do not like very much and do not wish to talk to.” He found

that as motivation increased, persons wanted to sit closer or to have more eye contact. When

the motivation was affiliative, the choice was sit closer, and when the motivation was

competitive, the choice was one that would allow more eye contact. It seems, than, that the

choice of eye contact or proximity depends on the motives of interacting pair. It is quite

permissible to sit close to another when there is high-affiliative motivation, but when there are

high levels of nonaffiliative motivation, such proximity is not as permissible, so eye contact is

used.

6. Introversion-Extraversion:

Cook (1970) found some relation between this personality variable and seating

preference. Extraverts chose to sit opposite (either across the table or down the length of it)

and disregarded positions that would put them at an angle. Many extraverts also chose

positions that would put them in close physical proximity to the other person. Introverts

generally choose positions that would keep them more at a distance, visually and physically.

A discussion of the shape of the negotiation is a most appropriate way to conclude this

topic. Although there is no standard table configuration for every negotiation conference, the

table arrangement transmits important conscious and subliminal messages. Those messages

are so important that the negotiations to end the Vietnam War were delayed for almost a year

while the parties involved negotiated the shape of the negotiation table.

*The best table arrangement for any negotiation depends on the situation. However, win/win

negotiation attitudes can be promoted with table configurations that convey trust. In contrast,

win/lose attitudes are created by table settings that communicate disparity or mistrust between

the two parties.

*Each negotiation table configuration below conveys a different message.

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*Arrangement A is a typical configuration for contract negotiations. The two parties sit

together to indicate and foster unity. Each team is on a different side of the table and the teams

are facing each other so each team member can clearly hear what anyone on the other team

has to say.

*Arrangement B may tend to give one party an advantage over the other because the

arrangement suggests only one important person, the person at the end of the vertical

extension.

*Arrangement C shows a need for space between the two parities. That space could mean

more formality or less trust.

*Arrangement D may be the most conducive to win/win negotiations because the round shape

is usually associated with equality.

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SPACE

The space in which your interpersonal communication takes place affects you in many

subtle ways that you are not always aware of. Each of you has a “personal space,” a sort of

invisible bubble around you, which you feel is yours and which you do not like to see intruded

upon without express permission.

Hall identified three major interpersonal distances he calls “intimate,” “social,” and

“public,” which govern most of your interpersonal relationships. The “intimate” distance

ranges from very close (3 to 6 inches; soft whispers, secret or intimate communication), to

close (8 to 12 inches; confidential information), to near (12 to 20 inches; soft voice). The

“social” distance ranges from 20 inches to 5 feet, and the “public” distance from 6 feet to

about 100 feet.

When people violate the unspoken rules of interpersonal distance (get too close when

they should be at a social distance or stand too far away when they are expected to be more

intimate), you generally feel uncomfortable. When someone you did not invite comes too

close to you, you tend to move away. The uncomfortable feeling you get in a crowded room

often comes from the fact that too many people are too close to one another. If someone

crowds you at the library or at the cafeteria by sitting too close to you, you unconsciously

move away by moving your books, tray, or chair away from the intruder.

Interpersonal distance is one of the ways you have to express feelings. You tend to

move closer to people you like and away from people you do not, if you have a choice. You

sometimes take great precautions to avoid walking near someone you do not like.

People, like animals, have tendency to own space, a tendency which is called

“territoriality.” Territoriality acts as a sort of extension of personal space. Cars are very much

an extension of the self; your house, your desk, and sometimes your chair become extensions

of your self. You may get intimated if someone else enters your territory uninvited. Somehow

you “just know” when someone is “too close” or “too far,” and you may not really be sure

how you came to know it. Territoriality most of the time provides an advantage to the

owner of the territory. Playing a home game is somehow easier than playing in the competing

team’s home field or court. You may feel more at ease and comfortable on your own grounds,

and the other person is at a slight disadvantage. The question “My place or yours?” is a loaded

one. If a supervisor calls you to his or her office to discuss some business matters, there is a

certain advantage for the supervisor associated with territory. If, on the other hand, your

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supervisor meets you in your office, on your turf, then you have a subtle but real

psychological advantage.

SILENCES

A) Silences Occur in Interpersonal Communication:You and your new date are driving on your way to a movie. after some time of idle

chatting about the weather, where you go to school, where your date goes to school, what

courses you are taking, and the kind of movies you like, you run out of things to say, and

silence sets in-long, heavy, embarrassing silence. Your date just sits there, and you can’t think

of another thing to say. In desperation you turn on the radio.

You just been introduced to a person sitting next to you at a dinner, and after the usual

small talk neither of you finds a thing to say; the best you can do is to stare at your napkin or

appear very busy fiddling with the silverware.

These two examples are not unusual. They illustrate two principles about silence:

1) Silences are an integral part of interpersonal communication. They occur more often

than you think.

2) Silences in many cases are perceived as embarrassing. You somehow feel they should

not happen; and when they occur, you try desperately to fill the gaps they create.

Silences, however, are not to be equated with the absence of communication. Silences

are a natural and fundamental aspect of communication, often ignored because misunderstood.

Effective communication between people depends heavily on silences because people

take turns at talking and at being silent when listening. Unless one is silent, one cannot fully

listen. Unless you know that silences are a part of gamut of communication, you will continue

to be afraid of them and avoid them instead of making full use of them.

B) Silences Are Not RandomPerhaps you have noted that we use the word “silences” in its plural form. This is

deliberate. We want to stress that there are many different types of silences, each with a

meaning of its own and different implications and consequences for communication. When

you say you like silence or are afraid of it, you really fail to acknowledge the many

differences between types of silences. To understand communication, you must differentiate

between the many types of silences and meet them with an appropriate behavior.

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For example; (1) Silence when you are terribly angry, frustrated, gritting your teeth,

ready to blow up, yet tensing up so as to not let the steam out, is different from (2) Silence

which occurs when you are attentively listening to an important broadcast or a fascinating

lecture or story. In both cases no word may be spoken, but what goes on inside you in terms

of feelings, reactions emotions, and thoughts is quiet different. Not only does your silence

stem from different cause, but your actions, expressions, and movements reflect a difference.

(3) Silence when you listen but are bored is different from the preceding two silences. The

silence of boredom expresses a withdrawal from the situation, a negative evaluation of what is

going on; it implies an attitude of superiority which often offends those toward whom it is

directed if they perceive it. (4) The silence which occurs when you cannot think of a thing to

say (on a date, at a dinner, or in any situation involving people you do not know well). During

these social encounters, talk is expected. Silence represents what is feared the most, and when

it occurs, makes you feel terribly inadequate and self-conscious. (5) Silence when you are

thinking about a point made by speaker is different from (6) Silence which occurs when you

do not understand what the speaker said. In the latter you may be so confused that you do not

even know what to ask in order to get some clarification. (7) Silence can be reverent,

meditative, or contemplative. Perhaps you silently pray; or perhaps you take a walk and

encounter something so beautiful that you are speechless and the sight stirs deep emotions in

you. (8) The silence of allness, the dogmatic “There is no more to be said on the matter; that’s

all there is to it” is quiet different from (9) the silence of lovers or friends who may simply

hold each other’s hands and do not need to say anything at all to communicate their feelings.

The latter is a comfortable silence, a silence you do not need to break, a silence you treasure

because it reflects the depth of a relationship. A glance, an understanding smile, or a look is

all that is necessity. Words are not needed. (10) The silence of grief is another type of silence.

“So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights and no one spoke a

word unto him. For they saw his grief was very great” (Book of Job). This is a difficult

silence. You know intuitively that words don’t begin to express the sympathy or the concern

you want to share with a person who grieves. Sometimes, just being silently there is enough.

(11) Silence can be a challenge, like the silence of the pouting child or the stubborn and angry

friend, or the silence in a classroom toward the very last minutes of a period when the teacher

asks, “Do you have any questions?” and students almost dare each other to say one word

which might trigger the teacher to continue after the bell.

A sensitivity to silences is imperative to two-way communication. This means

sensitivity to your own silences and to the silences of others to whom you would speak. If you

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are silent because you are thinking about a point the speaker made, or if you are puzzled by

what the speaker said, you should let him or her know. If people are silent when you speak,

you must be able to read the cues that will tell you the reasons for their particular silence. Do

they misunderstand you? Do they clam up because they are resisting what you are saying? Are

they bored? Did you lose them?

There are many cues available which help you to understand people’s silences. The

way they move, their gestures, and their facial expressions will tell you a great deal about the

reasons for the silence.

C) Silence May Be Appropriate or Inappropriate:Just as you may say the wrong thing at the wrong time, you may respond silently to a

situation requiring talk, and not be silent when you should. A person who is engaged in

serious thinking will probably not welcome the friend who comes barging in and talks a mile

a minute about trivial things. When people are worshiping in church, they usually resent a

loud intrusion by tourists exclaiming about the beauty of ceiling, the organ, or the artwork.

Conversation need not be significant, but silence may be perceived as an indicator that

you do not approve of what’s going on or that you would rather be some place else. Even if

this is true, you know that it is not polite to give that impression. So, usually, you chat away at

the same level as the rest of the crowd. You talk about weather, the décor of the room, or what

you do for a living, and these simple exchanges set up avenues for further communication.

Being silent in such situations seems to have very little virtue, as your social acceptability

depends on your saying something, however inane it may be. Silence when the situation

requires some form of verbal exchange makes you appear antisocial and drives people away

from you. So when your neighbor hollers at you, “Nice day,” you usually come back with

equally profound, “It sure is.” Both of you have made contact and feel reassured that you are

not isolated.

THE EFFECTS OF VOCAL CUES

Vocal behavior deals with how something is said, not what is said. It deals with the

range of nonverbal vocal cues surrounding common speech behavior. Generally, a distinction

is made between two types of sounds:

1. The sound variations made with the vocal cords during talk that are a function of

changes in pitch, duration, loudness, and silence.

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2. Sounds that result primarily from psychological mechanisms other than the vocal

cords, for example, pharyngeal, oral, or nasal cavities.

Most of the research on vocal behavior and its effects on human interaction has

focused on pitch level and variability; the duration of sounds (clipped or drawn out); poses

with the speech stream and the latency of response during turn exchanges; loudness level and

variability; resonance; precise or slurred articulation; rate; rhythm; and intruding sound during

speech such as “uh” or “um”. Even specialized sound such as laughing, belching, yawning,

swallowing, moaning, and the like may be of interest to the extend that they may affect the

outcome of interaction.

Most of us do the same kind of thing when we emphasize a particular part of a

message. Prosody is the word used to describe all the variations in the voice that accompany

speech and help to convey its meaning. Notice how different vocal emphases influence the

interpretation of the following message:

1. He’s giving this money to Herbie. (He’s the one giving the money, nobody else.)

2. He’s giving this money to Herbie. (He’s giving, not lending, the money.)

3. He’s giving this money to Herbie. (The money being exchanged is not from another

fund or source; it is this money.)

4. He’s giving this money to Herbie. (Money is the unit of exchange, not a chech or

wampum.)

5. He’s giving this money to Herbie. (This recipient is Herbie, not Eric or Bill or Rod)

We manipulate our pitch to indicate the end of declarative sentence (by lowering it) or

a question (by raising it.) Sometimes we consciously manipulate our tone, so that the vocal

message contradicts the verbal one, as in sarcasm. For instance, you can say the words “I am

having a wonderful time” so they mean “I am having a terrible time.” If you are perceived as

being sarcastic, the vocal cues you have given probably superseded the verbal.

It is significant that vocal cues (manipulated or not) seen to exert a great deal of

influence on listener perceptions, particularly with certain classes of information or kinds of

responses. Often, these responses are based on stereotypes associated with various vocal

qualities, intonations, characteristics, and the like.

Nonverbal vocal cues have emerged as important in many contexts. Psychiatrists tell

us of critical insights into patient problems derived from vocal cues; researchers find that

vocal cues during the explanation of experimental instructions can affect drastically the results

of an experiment; psychologists report a relationship between vocal cues and the ability to

identify certain personal characteristics, including some personality characteristics; students

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of speech communication find important relationships between vocal cues and the effects of

various messages on retention and attitude change.

Vocal Cues and PersonalityOne cultural syndrome that aptly illustrates our association of vocal cues with certain

personality characteristics concerns what some speech scientists call our “vocal neurosis”

about low, deep voice in men. Salespeople, radio and television announcers, receptionists,

lawyers, and many others try to emulate low vocal tones, which they perceive as being more

sophisticated, appealing, sexy, or masculine than higher-pitched voices.

The findings that listeners cannot always detect personality from vocal cues do not

mean that the voice does not contain any cues to personality. There are several lines of

positive evidence on this issue. Extraversion/introversion is the trait dimension best

documented in vocal cues of American speakers. Cues associated with a speaker’s actual (not

just perceived) extraversion, when compared to introversion, are more fluency (shorter pauses

when the speaking turn switches from one speaker to another, shorter silent pauses within a

person’s speech, fewer hesitations); faster rate; louder speech; more dynamic contrast; higher

pitch (up to a point); and more variable pitch. In addition, extraverted people have been shown

to talk more, in both number of words and total speaking time (Siegman, 1978)

Individuals who speak louder and faster are perceived as more dominant (Harrigan,

Gramata, Luck, & Margolis, 1989), a stereotype confirmed in that more dominant individuals

do tend to have voices that are louder and faster, as well as less breathy and more low pitched,

than less dominant individuals (Siegman 1987; Weaver & Anderson, 1973)

A significant body of literature concerns various vocal cues and their relationships to

personality adjustment or psychopathology. Depressed voices have been found to be slow and

to exhibit long, silent pauses; some schizophrenics have long been noted for their flat voices.

One study indicates that schizophrenic and depressed patients sounded sadder than normal

controls when asked to tell about a happy, sad, or angry episode in their lives. Also, these

patient groups had distinct deficits in their ability to convey these emotions through voice

tone. Depressed patients were least able to convey clear cues as to which episode they were

describing (Levin, Hall, Knight, & Albert, 1985)

Research on vocal attractiveness has revealed some personality stereotypes associated

with the voice (Berry, 1992; Zuckerman, Hodgins, & Miyake, 1990; Zuckerman & Miyake,

1993). People with more attractive-sounding voices are rated as having better personalities

(less neurotic and more extraverted, open, warm, agreeable, powerful, honest, and

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conscientious) than people with less attractive-sounding voices. More attractive-rated voices

were more resonant, less monotonous, less nasal, and lower in pitch (the latter for male voices

only); they also tended to have middling values on pitch, pitch range, shrillness, and

squeakiness. In the other words, the more attractive voices were not extremely low or

extremely high, not extremely flat or extremely variable in pitch, and so forth.

Personality stereotypes also exist about people with babyish voices. Both adults and

young children with more babyish voices are perceived as more warm and honest, but less

powerful and competent, than people with more mature-sounding voices; it seems the general

qualities attributed to children are attributed to people with younger-sounding voices no

matter what their actual age (Berry, 1992; Berry, Hansen, Landry-Pester, & Meier, 1994)

Vocal Cues and EmotionDarwin viewed the voice as a primary channel for emotional signals in both humans

and animals. Studies of content free speech indicate that the voice alone can carry information

about the speaker. Judges agree substantially, both when asked to identify the emotion being

expressed and when given the task of estimating the strength of the feeling. Judgements

appear to depend on significant changes in pitch, rate, volume and other physical

characteristics of the voice, but untrained judges cannot describe these qualities accurately.

Some emotions are easier to communicate that others. For example, one study found

anger identified 63 percent of the time, while pride was identified correctly only 20 percent of

time. Another study found that joy and hate wee easily recognized, but shame and love were

the most difficult to recognize. In general, anger, joy, and sadness were easier to recognize

than fear and disgust. (Banse & Scherer, 1996; Pittam & Scherer, 1993.)

MATERIAL USAGE IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Materials that we use also represent us. We give people lots of messages by using

them.

1) Using Pen: Materials which attract attention most are pens,

eyeglasses, rings, cigarettes/pipes, sticks that teachers use in

lessons/managers use while making presentations, strings that are used

in place of employment entry cards and books/notebooks in our tables.

You can see pen usage in TV announcers. For example; Ali Kırca

always uses pen when he is announcing interesting news. Also politicians like to use pens

while they are talking.

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Sometimes while you are using a pen, it may mean a threat to the person in front of

you. If you are using a pen like pointing out someone, people may perceive it like a threat.

Another aim of using pen is giving a message that you are making an important

explanation.

Holding pen in your mouth shows that you are distracting yourself and trying to gain

time. You are thinking while holding a pen in your mouth.

If you put the pen in your pocket or notebook, it means that the subject is over.

2) Using Eyeglasses: In nonverbal communication, eyeglasses

always used like pen. Eyeglasses make people intellectual.

If you are silent and looking over your eyeglasses to the person who is

talking in front of you, he/she will probably think that you don’t like

him/her and thinking negatively about him/her.

If a person interrupts you while you are talking, don’t answer him/her, only bow your

head and look at him/her over your eyeglasses. He/she will probably stop talking and

understand that you become angry.

Putting eyeglasses on forehead means openness and honesty.

Putting eyeglasses in the middle of your nose means that the person doesn’t respect

you.

Like a pen, holding your eyeglasses’ handle in your mouth means that you are thinking

about something.

Putting eyeglasses on collar makes you a sportsmanlike person. Hanging it on your

neck makes you serious and charismatic.

Changing eyeglasses means that the person is concentrating on the subject (reading

and listening eyeglasses).

Cleaning eyeglasses or folding it up and putting it over your notebook means that the

subject is over.

Playing with eyeglasses means you are bored.

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3) Using Cigarette/Pipe: People who use pipes are more charismatic

that people who use cigarettes. Pipe makes the user dominant in his/her

speech. People who are more powerful and rich always use pipes.

Smoking and holding cigarette gives us lots of messages too. For

example; blowing a cigarette upper means you are comfortable and

powerful. Blowing it lower means you are bored and anxious.

4) Other Materials: Some people use sticks while making

representations. But they must use laser pointers instead of sticks.

Because sticks may give a message of threat to the listener.

Although strings that are used in place of employment entry cards

give comfort to the user, they are not ethic. If you listen to people

with playing a string in your hand, they may think that you are not

taking into consideration to them.

Playing with your tie means you are interested in the opposite sex.

Playing with notebook, paper etc. means you are bored.

Rosettes, riggings show that you are belonging a group. Lots of ideas can be shown

with rosettes.

TOUCH

Touch is one of the first modes of communication of the human being. Infants learn

much about their environment by touching. Patting someone on the back, shaking a hand or

holding a hand can express more than a lengthy speech.

Touching is so important in the healthy development of human life that infants who

are not handled, cuddled, stroked, caressed and touched get sick and sometimes die. Many

studies support positive effects of massage on infants with a variety of problems including

premature birth, failure-to-thrive syndrome and cocaine exposure. Massage reduces anxiety,

lowers stress hormones and is associated with improved clinical outcomes.

Touch is indeed a mode of communication. Touching is a powerful communicative

tool and serves to express a tremendous range of feelings, such as fear, love, anxiety, warmth,

coldness. Those you love and feel close to you will touch more often than you would casual

acquaintances or strangers. The relational dimension of interpersonal transaction is often

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displayed through touch. While everyone can touch a baby or a young child, few people find

it comfortable to touch a person of high status or in authority.

Touching may elicit negative reactions as well as positive ones depending on the

configuration of people and circumstances. Sometimes people get tense, anxious, and/or

uncomfortable when touched; we know that touching perceived as inappropriate for the

relationship can be met with aggressive reactions – touching back in the form of slapping or

hitting.

Who Touches Whom, Where, and How Much?The amount and kind of contact in adulthood vary considerably with age, sex,

situation, and relationship of the parties involved. In North American society, men are less

likely to touch others than women are. They are particularly averse to touching other men,

except in certain prescribed settings such as team sports. Both self-report and observational

data indicate that same-sex touching is avoided by men but is quite welcome by women. One

hypothesis for the men’s avoidance is homophobic attitudes and the fear that touching will be

seen as homosexual.

People may be more likely to touch when;

1. Giving information or advice rather than asking for it

2. Giving an order rather than responding to it

3. Asking a favor rather than agreeing to do one

4. Trying to persuade rather than being persuaded

5. The conversation is deep rather than casual

6. At a party rather than at work

7. Communicating excitement rather than receiving it from another

8. Receiving messages of worry from another rather than sending such messages

As I illustrated earlier, status is an important determinant of who touches whom. The

higher-status person has a privilege to touch; the lower person does not. The higher-status

person’s touch was more likely to be hand-to-arm or hand-to-shoulder and to be rated as

affectionate. The lower-status touches were much more likely to be handshakes and to be

rated as more formal.

Jourard (1966) wanted to know what parts of the body people think are touched most

often. He administered a questionnaire to students, who indicated which of twenty four body

parts they had seen or touched on others or that others had seen or touched on them within the

past twelve months. Jourard’s study found females were perceived to be considerably more

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accessible to touch by all persons then males were. Opposite sex friends and mothers were

reported as doing the most touching. Many fathers were recalled as touching not much more

then the hands of the subjects. The likelihood of opposite sex touching of course depends

greatly on the relationship between the parties; this kind of touch is more likely when

intimacy and familiarity are high. It seems that both males and females are perceived as even

more accessible to opposite sex friends then they were in the preceding decade, with increased

touching reported for body parts normally considered more intimate, such as chest, stomach,

hips, and thigh.

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Types of TouchMorris’s major categories of touching include the following:

1. The Handshake. The strength of the tie or desired tie between the participants can

often be observed by watching the nonshaking hand.

2. The Body-Guide. Here, touching is a substitute for pointing. The person guiding

the other’s body is frequently the person in charge during that encounter.

3. The Pat. Morris says when adults pat other adults it is often a condescending gesture

or a sexual one. The well-known exception is the congratulatory pat following a

successful performance in men’s team sports.

4. The Arm-Link. This may be used for support when one person is infirm, but it is

also frequently used to indicate a close relationship. The person in charge, says Morris,

is less likely to be the person grasping the other’s arm.

5. The Shoulder Embrace. This half-embrace is used in male-female romantic

relationships as well as to signify “buddies” in male-male relationships.

6. The Full Embrace. This gesture, sometimes called a hug, frequently occurs during

moment of intense emotion, sporting events, romance, greetings, farewells. It is also

used ritualistically to show a relationship closer than a handshake would indicate.

7. The Hand-in-Hand. When adults hold hands with children it is designed for

support, to keep the child close, or to protect the child. As adults, hand holding

suggests an equality within the relationship. It is often thought of in opposite-sex

relationships, but same-sex hand holding is not uncommon, particularly in groups.

8. The Waist Embrace. This, according to Morris, is frequently substituted for the

full embrace when the participants wish to signal more intimacy than hand holding or

a shoulder embrace yet still remain mobile.

9. The Kiss. The location, pressure, duration, and openness of a kiss help to signal the

closeness or desired closeness of a particular moment.

10. The Hand-to-Head. Given the highly vulnerably nature of the head area, letting

someone touch you on the head shows a trusting, often intimate, relationship

11. The Head-to-Head. Two people touching heads renders them incapable of

regarding other ongoing activities in a normal manner, so this is usually thought of as

an agreement by both parties to shut out the rest of the world – a condition common to

young lovers especially.

12. The Caress. This is a signal associated with romantic feelings for one’s partner

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although, like any signal, it can be used by nonintimates who are trying to deceive

others about the depth of their relationship.

13. The Body Support. Parents often support children by carrying, lifting, or letting

them sit in their laps. Such support may be sought among adults in playful situations

or when one person feels physically helpless.

14. The Mock-Attack. These are aggressive-looking behaviors performed in a

nonaggressive manner, for example, arm punches, hair rufflings, pushes, pinches, ear

nibbles and so forth. We sometimes allow or even encourage such gestures with

friends to show the range of behavioral understanding between us. And sometimes

these mock-attack touches are substitutes for more loving touches that, in the case of

some fathers wishing to show love for their sons, may be too embarrassing.

The Meanings of Interpersonal TouchAccording to Jones Yarbrough (1985), the meanings of interpersonal touch have ten

different types. These are;

1. Touch as Positive AffectThe touching in this category involve support, reassurance, appreciation, affection,

sexual attraction, or, if the touch is sustained, it may indicate inclusion (“we’re together”).

2. Touch as Negative AffectIt may be an expression of anger or frustration suggested by hitting, slapping, or

tightly squeezing another’s arm so they cannot escape. Generally, negative touch is much

more likely among young children than among adults.

3. Touch as PlaySometimes we interpret the touching we give and receive as attempts to reduce the

seriousness of a message – whether it is affection or aggression. When one person goes

through the motions of landing a knockout punch on the other person, then stops the forward

movement of the first just as it makes contact with the skin, the message is “I am not fighting.

I am playing.” An accompanying smile or laugh may further reinforce this message.

4. Touch as InfluenceWhen the goal of the touch to persuade the other to do something, touch is associated

with influence. Jones and Yarbroug called these compliance touches.

5. Touch as Interaction Management

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We try to structure or control conversations or elements of conversations in many

ways. These management touches may guide someone without interrupting verbal

conversation; get someone’s attention by touching or tugging at that person’s arm or tapping

him or her on the shoulder; indicate or mark the beginning (greeting) or end (good-bye) of a

conversation; or fulfill some ritualistic function such as touching a baby’s head at a baptism.

6. Touch as Interpersonal ResponsivenessSometimes the meanings attributed to touch concern the level of involvement,

responsiveness, or activity of the communicator(s). Sometimes touch simply means that the

intensity of the interaction is high or that the interactant’s level of involvement in the

conversation is high. Interpersonal responsiveness may be perceived as positive affect when it

is mutually felt or when one person feels he or she contributed to the other’s behavior. Touch

can also be perceived as a move to control someone – for example, “he is just trying to get me

as excited about this thing as he is.”

7. Touch as AccidentalSometimes we perceive touch as unintentional. Normally, this occurs when someone

brushes or bumps into us.

8. Touch as Task RelatedThere are times when we need to help someone get out of a car or our hands touch as

the result of passing something back and forth. These touches, associated with the

performance of the task.

9. Touch as HealingA miraculous cure is one that cannot be explained by recognized medical or

psychological therapy. The healing power of touch has not been studied in a controlled way

that could establish its effectiveness and the mechanisms by which it may work.

10.Touch as SymbolismPerhaps because touch outside of intimate relationships is so infrequent, it is highly

salient when it occurs. Touch can be so fraught with meaning that the act of touch itself comes

to represent the significance of the relationship or occasion. Touch by heroes, religious leader,

and royalty can have this quality, as can certain ritual touches.

Self-TouchingDesmond Morris (1971) offered a list of different kinds of self-touching:

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1. Shielding Actions. These behavior usually involve reducing input or output, for

example, putting one’s hand over one’s mouth or ears.

2. Cleaning Actions. Sometimes we bring our hands up to our head to scratch, rub,

pick, wipe-for literal cleaning.

3. Specialized Signals. These gestures are used to communicate specific messages

such as cupping, the ear with one’s hand to signal the inability to hear or holding a

hand under one’s chin to signal “I’m fed up to here.”

4. Self-Intimacies. Self-intimacies, according to Morris, are comforting actions that

represent unconsciously mimed acts of being touched by someone else. They may

involve holding one’s own hands, arm folding, leg crossing, masturbation, and so on.

Some of these self-touching behaviors are called adaptors. As the term implies, they

are behavioral adaptations we make in response to certain learning situations, for example,

performing some bodily or instrumental action, managing our emotions, satisfying our need,

or getting along with other people. These behaviors seem to appear in situations that we feel

approximate the conditions of the early learning experiences. Generally, we are not aware of

performing these behavior, but frequent feed back may heighten our sensitivity – for example,

“stop picking your noise!” Although the research on adaptors is not extensive, there seems to

be some consensus that adaptors are generally associated with negative feelings for oneself or

another person. There are also some useful classifications of different types of adaptors, which

include both the probable referent for the behavior (self, other, object) and the type of

behavior (scratching, rubbing.) Some attempts are now being made to link various adaptors to

specific emotional or mood states. Most of the research has focused on self-adaptors.

Research on psychiatric patients has found that self-adaptors increase as a person’s

psychological discomfort, anxiety, or depression increase.

A number of studies have indicated that self-touching is associated with situational

anxiety or stress. As an example, Ekman and Friesen (1974) asked people to watch one of two

films, one highly stressful and the other quite pleasant. Viewers were then instructed to

describe the film as pleasant to an interviewer; thus, those watching the stressful film were

trying to deceive, which in itself can be considered stressful. Subjects in this group engaged in

more self-adaptors then those simply describing the pleasant film as pleasant. Self touching

also may be greater in people who chronically more anxious, for example, in some psychiatric

patients.

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Another source of body-focused movements is cognitive (information-processing)

demand. When engaged in a monologue, people touch themselves more than when simply

sitting still. Similarly, when they are asked to read the names of colors that are printed in

contradictory colors. (e.g., the word red printed in blue), people touch themselves more than if

they read color-consistent color names.

TIME

Time is a form of interpersonal communication. At first, it may seem an intangible

thing but time is almost treated as a thing; you gain time, waste it, spent it, save it, give it and

take it. Time is precious, time speaks…

Time is important to us. It governs when we eat and sleep; it often determines how

much we get paid at work; and it sets limits on how much material students can learn in a

given class period. Time plays a key role in social interaction as well. It influences our

perceptions of people; for example responsible people are “on time,” boring people talk “too

long,” inconsiderate people let the beepers on their watches go off when we are talking to

them, or a good romantic partner gives us some “time to ourself.”

Time is perceived very differently in other cultures. These varying orientations to time

are often a central factor in misunderstandings among member of different cultures. In

Mexico, for example, it is not uncommon to arrive an hour and a half after the appointed time

and still be considered on time. In the United States this would, of course, be considered very

late and very rude. An American meeting a Mexican would feel insulted to have to wait so

long and would probably expect a good story to account for such a delay. The American

would be quite upset at hearing no story, for the Mexican would, in his or her eyes, be on time

and thus would not feel the need to explain anything. Unless you know and understand

another culture’s sense of time, you may get very frustrated, and this naturally affects the way

you communicate with members of that culture.

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In our culture, punctuality is valued and tardiness is considered insulting. Being late

for an appointment or in turning in an assignment may lead to unpleasant consequences.

However, what is considered “late” varies not only with each individual and his or her

personal sense of time but also with the situation, the other people involved and the

geographic area. For example, you may have a very important appointment with a person of

higher status than yours – perhaps a job interview. Usually, you will try to be “on time” and

this may mean about five minutes before the appointed time to five minutes after. If you

arrive fifteen minutes after the appointed time, you will probably apologize and offer some

explanation for your delay. The kind and extend of your apologies and explanations will vary

according to how late you are. If you are only five minutes late, you may not have to say

anything. If you are ten minutes late, you may feel that you have to apologize briefly but need

not give any reason for the delay. If you are half an hour late, you will probably apologize

profusely and need to explain thoroughly what kept you. If you are an hour late, you will not

expect the other person to be still waiting for you. If the other person still there, as when you

meet your date at home and show up an hour late, you expect him or her to be very upset.

We perceive time in four different types:

1. Time as LocationSome of our perceptions of time have to do with when something happens the timing

of an event. The onsets of some events are evaluated as well timed, for example, “You hugged

me at the exact moment I needed it most”; some are viewed as ill timed, for example, “I don’t

like eating dinner at 10p.m.”

2. Time as DurationOur temporal perceptions also include how long some event lasts. We develop

expectations for the proper and improper length of events, but perceptions of duration are not

always a reflection of actual duration. An environment with little activity can be perceived as

so boring that we perceive we have been there “forever.”

3. Time as IntervalsThe periods between events also constitute a way of perceiving time. The rate at which

something happens is really a perception of the time since it last occurred. The perceived

tempo of our lives is likely to be a reflection of how much or how little time separates each of

our activities. For example, the phrase “It’s been too long since I’ve seen you” suggests a

contact-interval norm associated with close relationships that has been exceeded for this

person.28

4. Time as Patterns of IntervalsAs we observe recurrent sequences of intervals, we begin to sense social rhythm – the

regularity/irregularity, order/disorder comprising the cycles of our behavior and routines.

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WOMEN & MEN IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

*A woman can effortlessly speak an average of 6,000-8,000 words a day. She uses an

additional 2,000-3,000 vocal sounds to communicate, as well as 8,000-10,000 facial

expressions, head movements, and other body language signals. This gives her a daily average

of more than 20,000 communications.

*Contract a woman's daily "chatter" to that of a man. He utters just 2,000-4,000 words

and 1,000-2,000 vocal sounds, and makes a mere 2,000-3,000 body language signals. His

daily average adds up to around 7,000 communication "words" -- just over a third the output

of a woman.

There was an obvious, and interesting, effect of topic. How people communicate does

depend on the interaction between who they are and what they're communicating about! But

averaging over topics so as to focus on the sex differences, we find:

Male Female

Time speaking 40% 28%

Speech initiations 14.0 12.9

Looking while speaking 34% 30%

Looking while listening 44% 59%

Rate of gesturing 0.09 0.05

Frequency of chin thrusts 1.62 0.26

Frequency of smiling 10.6 13.6

Frequency of self-touching 6.1 6.5

Frequency of laughing 4.1 6.0

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So the guys did more of the talking, as is often the case -- 43% more, this time, which

is a bigger difference than one usually sees. What about non-verbal signals? Well, the guys

did 80% more gesturing, and produced 623% more chin thrusts. The gals did 28% more

smiling, 7% more self-touching, and 46% more laughing. Dovidio et al. didn't count eyebrow

motions, it's true. But there's certainly no support here for the view that women produce about

three times more "communication events" on average than men do.

Men and women communicate differently, as each tends to focus on different parts of nonverbal communication. In general, women prefer higher levels of nonverbal communication than men. Women's nonverbal behavior is used to make personal connections. While men's nonverbal communication tends to parallel behaviors associated with dominance and power. Regarding the differences between genders, there are four areas of nonverbal communication that will be mentioned in this view:

Kinesics - body movement (gestures, facial expression, posture)Women Compared to Men facial and body motions generally signal approachability, friendliness

use less and more restrained gestures

smile even when not happy due to socialized rules of women needing to be more

expressive

more likely to be interrupted if smiling

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attracted to those who smile more

use facial expression a lot to send and receive messages

posture is more tense

tilt their head and body to the side more often

Men Compared to Women facial and body motions tend to indicate more reservation and control

use gestures more

display less emotion through smiling due to socialized rules to remain emotionally neutral

more likely to interrupt speakers who are smiling

don't send or receive facial expressions as much

posture is more relaxed

nod their head a lot

Male and female posture "stereotypes" are created by culture and education.

It is considered unfeminine or unladylike for a woman to "use her body too forcefully,

to sprawl, to stand with her legs widely spread, to sit with her feet up ... to cross the ankle of

one leg over the knee of the other. And depending on the type of clothing she wears, "she may

be expected to sit with her knees together, not to sit cross-legged, or not even to bend over."

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Oculesics - eye contact, gazeWomen Compared to Men rarely stare

engage in more eye contact while conversating

signal interest by sustaining eye contact

break eye contact more

generally the first to avert eyes on initial gaze

more likely to be interrupted when eye contact isn't maintained with the next speaker

Men Compared to Women stare perhaps to challenge power or status

signal interest by staring

generally don't make as much eye contact

generally maintain initial gaze until other party averts eyes

Haptics - touch and the use of itWomen Compared to Men touched more than males

touched mostly by men

associate touch with warmth and expression

touched more gently

initiate more hugging and touching that expresses support, affection, comfort

Men Compared to Women touched less than females

initiate touch towards females more

touched more harshly

use touch to direct, assert power, express sexual interest

Proxemics - space and the use of itPeople in power get more space. ie, bigger cars, offices, homes.

Women Compared to Men

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spatial zones are drawn closer

tend to approach others closer

prefer side by side interaction

Men Compared to Women use more personal space

more likely to invade others personal space especially women

prefer face to face conversation

Theory’s LimitationsThere are obvious differences between men and women's nonverbal communication

skills. Yet, it would be impossible to pinpoint what those differences are. Nonverbal

communication is unique to each situation and individual at hand. The situation someone is in

can limit or emphasize the amount of nonverbal communication, how it is sent, and how it is

received or interpreted. Each individual is different and depending on how they grew up or

how they react with others can influence their own way of receiving and sending nonverbal

messages.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal messages serve multiple functions in intercultural interaction. While verbal

messages convey content meaning, nonverbal messages carry strong identity and realtional

meaning. Nonverbal messages are the nonlinguistic aspects of the communication that carry

powerful emotional meaning. They can either create miscommunication or clarify

communication. But, more often than not, nonverbal messages can create intercultural friction

and confusion because;

1. The same nonverbal signal can mean different things to different people in

different cultures,

2. Multiple nonverbal cues are sent in each interaction, thereby creating interpretive

ambiguities,

3. Factors of personality, gender, relational distance, socioeconomic status, and

situation create tremendous variations of nonverbal display patterns in different

cultures.

Nonverbal interaction has both cultural-universal and cultural-specific aspects. For

example, while all human beings carry the predisposition to express emotions via nonverbal

cues, culture shapes the display rules of when, where, with whom, and how these different

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emotions should be expressed or suppressed. Nonverbal display rules are learned within a

culture. Cultural value tendencies (e.g., individualism-collectivism, high-low context and

power distance), in conjunction with many relational and situational factors, influence cross-

cultural nonverbal behaviors.

Cultural characteristics can be differentiated between several dimensions and aspects

(the ability to perceive them and to cope with them is one of the bases of intercultural

competence), such as:

Collectivist and Individualist Cultures

Individualist cultures, such as those of the United States, Sweden, and the Netherlands

emphasize personal achievement.

Collectivist cultures, such as those of Argentina, Africa, Brazil, China, Ecuador,

Egypt, Guam, Greece, India, Indonesia, Korea, Mexico, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan,

Puerto Rico, Vietnam, and Japan emphasize family and work group goals.

Traits of Collectivism "We" not "me" orientation.

Each person is encouraged to conform to society, to do what is best for the group and

to not openly express opinions or beliefs that go against it.

Group, family or rights for the common good are seen as more important than the

rights of individuals.

Rules promote stability, order, obedience.

Strong family values

Fitting in or conforming to group or society is required.

Distinctions made between in-group and out-group.

More ingroups to choose from, less attachment to one specific ingroup

Working with others and cooperating is the norm. Refusal to cooperate and wanting to

be independent or stand out is seen as shameful. Everyone must rely on others for

support.

Traits of Individualism "I" identity.

Promotes individual goals, initiative and achievement.

Achievement of personal goals

Each person is encouraged to stand out, be unique and express themselves.

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Individual rights seen as most important. Rules attempt to impede independence,

choices and freedom of speech.

Fitting in and conforming to group norms is unnecessary or even discouraged.

Less distinction between in-group and out-group.

Relying or being dependent on others is seen as shameful. People are encouraged to do

things on their own, to rely on themselves.

Individualists often think it is their right to freely express their personal ideas and

feelings, whereas collectivists tend to be more concerned with other people’s opinions and

reactions. Thus, they guard their emotions more cautiously, especially with in-group

members. Furthermore, when percieving threats in the interaction, individualists tend to be

more concerned with expressing and repairing self-focused emotions (e.g., personal anger,

frustration, or resentment), whereas collectivists generally are more concerned with other-

focused emotions (e.g., relational shame, hurt, or embarrassment). Direct communication is

more predominate in individualistic cultures than in collectivistic cultures. Strangers or

outsiders establish communication relationships more easily.

High and Low Context Cultures

Low–context communication relies little on the surrounding context for interpretation;

rather, most of what is communicated is found in the verbal message. Low–context

communication reflects linear logic, direct verbal interactions and styles of speech, overt

intention, and sender–oriented values and is typically found in individualistic cultures.

Individualistic, low–context cultures tend to be more sensitive to a person's values, attitudes

or dispositional characteristics, and attribute behavior to their individuality and personality.

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By contrast, high–context communication and cultures are highly sensitive to

situational and context features of communication. High–context cultures tend to attribute

behavior according to the situation or factors that are external to the person. High–context

communication refers to a spiral logic or interaction approach that uses indirect styles of

speech. It consists of indirect verbal negotiation, use of subtle nonverbal nuances, and a

receiver–listener focus.

High Context Low Context

Low Context Cultures[Individualistic Gender]*

(Information must be provided explicitly, usually in words)

Less aware of nonverbal cues, environment, and situation

Lack well-developed networks

Need detailed background information

Control information on a 'need-to-know' basis

Prefer explicit and careful directions from someone that 'knows'

Knowledge is a commodity

Monochromic People

[Individualistic]*

Do one thing at a time

Concentrate on the job

Take time commitments (deadlines, schedules) seriously

Are low context and need information

Adheres religiously to plans

Are concerned about not disturbing conversations

Emphasize promptness

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High Context Cultures [Relational Gender]*

(Much information drawn from surroundings. Very little must be explicitly transferred)

Nonverbal important

Information flows freely

Physical contact relied upon for information

Environment, situation, gestures, mood, all taken into account

Maintain extensive information networks

Accustomed to interruptions

Do not always adhere to schedules

Polychronic People

[Relational]*

Do many things at once

Are highly distractible and subject to interruptions

Consider time commitments an objective to be achieved, if possible

Are high context and already have information

Are committed to people and human relationships

Change plans often and easily

Large and Small Power Distance CulturesPeople from small power distance cultures (e.g., Australia and Canada) tend to use

nonverbal emotional cues to establish equal-status relationships.

People from large power distance cultures (e.g., in many Latin and Middle Eastern

cultures) tend to use nonverbal emotional cues (e.g., the proper tone of voice) to signify

asymmetrical-status relationships. However, misunderstandings or frustrations often occur

because cultural members fail to observe and decode the subtle (or not to subtle) nonverbal

cues in intercultural episodes. Cultural members tend to use their nonverbal cultural frame of

reference to judge the other’s “miscued” performance.

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Nonverbal Communication Differences Around the World

There are many forms of non-verbal communication, including eye contact,

body language, touching, hand gestures, use of space, and silence. The

importance of these forms of communication within culture is often ignored and

those who are learning a new language and interacting in a new culture often try

to use the same non-verbal communication that is common to their own cultures.

This can lead to negative consequences.

Facial ExpressionsNonverbal researchers have generally agreed that there is relative universality in the

decoding of basic facial emotions. These basic facial emotions are anger, disgust, fear,

happiness, sadness, and surprise. These facial emotional expressing have been consistently

recognized or decoded by members of different cultures (e.g., from Estonia, Germany,

Greece, Italy, Japan, Turkey, and the United States).The more similar the cultures (i.e., from

the same geographic region), the more accurate is the nonverbal decoding process.

For example, in the United States it is customary for two people who are having a

conversation to maintain eye contact during most or all of the conversation. People who are

unable to maintain eye contact during a conversation are often looked upon as untrustworthy

or rude. However, in many Asian and African cultures, eye contact is viewed in a different

way. In those cultures, it is considered disrespectful to look an elder or authority figure in the

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eyes during a conversation. By avoiding eye contact they are showing their reverence for the

other person.

In addition, the meaning of smiles can carry different connotations in different

cultures. Within the U.S. culture, a smile can mean joy or happiness. In the Japanese culture,

while a smile can be used to signal joy, it can also be used to mask embarrassment, hide

displeasure, or suppress anger. In Russia, facial expressions serve as important negotiation

cues. Russians tend to start out with grim faces, but when they do smile, it reflects relaxation

and progress in developing a good relationship. Winks and nods are also good signs.

Overall, culture appears to playa powerful role in terms of the types of emotions that

should be displayed or suppressed in different interactive situations. Individualistic cultures

tend to encourage the display of a wide range of positive and negative emotions, and members

are also able to accurately decode a wide range of positive and negative emotions. In contrast,

collectivistic cultures tend to encourage the display of modest “positive” emotions (e.g.,

friendly and agreeable emotions) while suppressing the display of extreme “negative”

emotions (e.g., anger and disgunst) in everyday lives.

Along with facial expressions of emotions, the human voice carries powerful

emotional meaning. In the U.S. culture, soft emotions such as grief and love are expressed

through pitch variations. Harsh emotions such as anger and contempt are expressed by

changes in volume. Neutral emotions such as indifference are express through tempo changes.

Cultural norms also greatly influence our conversational volume and intensity. While

many Southern European cultures (e.g., Greece and Italy) and Arab cultures tend to value an

emotionally engaged, expressive tone of voice when important issues are discussed, many

East and Southeast Asian cultures (e.g., Malaysia and Thailand) tend to value a moderating,

soft tone of voice. Thus, nonverbal cultural differences exist on a scale of relative differences:

from the Arab point of view, the U.S. American tone of voice sounds “cold” and “emotionally

disengaging”; from the East asian point of view, the same voice tone can sound “too heated”

and “harsh”. Members of different cultures use their own cultural nonverbal standards as

guidelines for proper or improper ways of “sounding” and evaluating others.

Proximity

Another important form of non-verbal communication is proximity. In general, native

English speakers of the United States maintain some distance between themselves and the

people with whom they are speaking. The concept of personal space is very important in the

United States and most people try to respect the space of others when interacting with them.

Conversely, in other parts of the world, such as Asia and the Middle East, personal space is

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not an important aspect of daily life. People tend to stand or sit closer to one another while

talking, and think nothing of their proximity to each other. Standing very close to speak with

someone in the United States is looked at as rude and as an invasion of personal space and can

create a very awkward or uncomfortable feeling for many Americans. Furthermore, in many

situations in the United States, standing very close to someone in order to speak to them can

indicate that what is being said is private or secretive.

The average conversational distance or personal space for European Americans is

approximately 20 inches. For some Latin American and Caribbean cultural groups (e.g.,

Costa Ricans, Puerto Ricans, Bahamians, And Jamaicans), however, the average personal

space is approximately 14-15 inches. For the Saudi, the ideal conversational distance between

two Arabs is approximately 9-10 inches. When Arabs overstep the personal space boundary

of European Americans, they are often considered “rude” and “intrustive”. On the other hand,

Arab negotiators frequently find European Americans to be “aloof”, “cold”, and

“standoffish”. One research indicates that the Japanese prefer greater interaction distances

with their professors, friends, and fathers that do Japanese Americans in Hawaii and European

Americans on the U.S. mainland. Also Latin Americans tend to interact at closer distances

than do European Americans or African Americans.

HapticsHaptic studies investigate the perceptions, functions, and meanings of touch behavior as

communication in different cultures. Different cultures encode and interpret touch behavior in

different ways. Touch is used to fulfill five communication functions:

1. ritualistic interaction such as shaking hands or bowing,

2. expressing affect such as kissing and kicking,

3. playfulness such as flirtatious stroking and poking,

4. a control function such as grabing someone’s arm,

5. a task-related function such as a nurse taking a patient’s pulse at the wrist.

Different cultures have different expectations as to who should touch whom in different

interaction scenes. For example, while Chinese views opposite-sex handshakes acceptable,

Malays and Arabs view contact by opposite-sex handshakes as taboo. Furthermore, different

cultures aphold different gender norms for embracing and handholding. The friendly full

embrace between males in much more acceptable in many Latin American cultures than in

Britain or the United States. Likewise, the friendly arm link pattern between two males in arab

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and Latin American cultures is a commonplace practice. The friendly handholding pattern

between two females in many Asian cultures is also common nonverbal practice.

Here on a scale of “touch” or “don’t touch”, is a geographic measuring stick:

Don’t touch Touch Middle Ground

Japan Middle East Countries France

U.S.&Canada Latin Countries China

England Italy Ireland

Scandinavia Greece India

Australia Spain&Portugal

Estonia Russia

SilenceSilence is another form of communication that can make a situation awkward if used

improperly. The acceptable length of silence during a conversation varies across cultures. In

many cultures, people are more comfortable with longer pauses or periods of silence in order

for someone to think of a response to what has just been said. In the United States, long

pauses can become uncomfortable or may be indicative of that fact that someone is upset or

choosing to ignore what has been said in the conversation.

KinesicsPeople generally use kinesics (e.g., hand gestures and body posture) to manage their

conversation with others.

"Gestures are a silent language unique to every society," says Dane Archer, professor

of sociology at the University of California at Santa Cruz.

Emblems are hand gestures that hold specific meanings for members within a culture.

Every culture has a rich variety of emblems with specific meanings and rules of display.

However, emblems can contribute to intercultural misunderstandings or conflicts. For

example, misusing nonverbal greeting rituals can create bad first impressions. The beckoning

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“come here” gesture observed in many Asian cultures (e.g., China, and Japan)

with the palm down and the fingers waving toward the body can signal “go away” to most

North Americans.

Many emblems across cultures also hold contradictory meanings in different

cultures. For example, a single hand gesture signifying OK to U.S. Americans

and most of Europeans in which one raises one’s hand and makes a circle

between the thumb and forefinger can mean “money” to the Japanese, a

sexual insult in Brazil and Greece, a vulgar gesture in Russia or “zero” in

French.

The "V Sign", commonly known as "sticking two fingers up" or

"flicking the V's", it faces palm inwards, index and middle fingers extended

vertically, and this is the way that Winston Churchill initially used it to indicate

"Victory" at the beginning of the Second World War. However, in Britain the

“V” sign with the palm turned inward (not outward) connotes an insult.

The “thumbs up” gesture used in Canada and the United States to signify

approval or encouragement is offensive throughout the arab world (e.g., in

Egypt and Kuwait). In Japan and Germany the upraised thumb is also

used when counting: in japan it signifies “five”, but in Germany it is the

signal for “one”.

Most texans will recognize this gesture (by extending the index and little fingers while

holding the middle and ring fingers down with the thumb) as a University of Texas rallying

call because it mimics the horns of the school’s symbol and mascot, the famous Texas

Longhorn steer. But, in Italy this same gesture has a vulgar meaning. And in Brazil and

Venezuela, the same gesture is considered a good luck sign toward off evil.

GreetingsFathers in India were instructing their children the namaste, where the hands are placed in a

praying position, about chest high, accompanied by a slight bow. It also means

“thank you” and “I’m sorry”.

The Maori tribespeople in New Zealand choose even

today to greet each other with a gesture that seems to epitomize

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closeness and friendship: They rub noses. The Eskimos use this same gesture, but with more

personal meaning.

The traditional gestures Japanese greeting is not shaking hands but

bowing from the waist. This bow is used to communicate respect when

expressing gratitude or an apology The degree of bowing depends on the

relationship between the people involved.

1. A bow at an angle of five degrees means a simple greeting of a

good day.

2. A bow at an angle of forty-five degrees.

In Latin American countries, the hug is called the abrazo,

which means “embrace”. It is often accompanied by a couple of

hearty claps on the back. Most North Americans, Nothern

Europeans, and Orientals find any such touching or hugging very

uncomfortable.

BeckoningThe way people beckon one another around the world can be almost as diverse as the

way we greet to one another.

In the United States, the common gesture for getting someone’s attention, as

when calling a waiter, is to raise a hand (with the index finger raised) about

head high, or a little higher. But this gesture could be considered rude in

some countries, like Japan, where pointing the finger at anyone is considered

impolite. In places like Germany, the signal also means “two”, because two

fingers are being held upright.

In countries as widespread as Yugoslavia and Malaysia, that gesture is used

only for calling animals. Therefore, using it to beckon human would be terribly

impolite. In Indonesia and Australia, it is also used for beckoning “ladies of the

night”.

Throughout much of Europe and in many Latin American countries

the preferred gesture for signaling “come over here” is to extend the arm,

hand out, palm down, and then make a scratching motion with the fingers.

North Americans do not customarily use this gesture, and may consider it

uncomfortable, effeminate, or puzzling.

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NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION IN JOB INTERVİEWS

One of the most important time that we have to use nonverbal communication clearly

is job interviews. We feel ourselves in an away area in job interviews. Because we don’t

know any information about that place and we feel nervous.

According to some studies, "Body language comprises 55% of the force of any

response, whereas the verbal content only provides 7%, and paralanguage, or the intonation --

pauses and sighs given when answering -- represents 38% of the emphasis."

As you can see, nonverbal communication is as important, or even more important

than, verbal communication. The evaluation of your nonverbal communication will start as

soon as you walk into the company's lobby and continue until the interview is finished.

If your nonverbal communication skills aren't up to par, it won't matter how well you

answer the questions.

If you come to an interview reeking of cigarette smoke or chewing gum, you will

already have one strike against you. Too much perfume or not enough deodorant won't help

either. Not being dressed appropriately or having scuffed shoes will give you a second strike.

Talking on your cell phone or listening to an IPod while waiting to be called for the interview

may be your final strike.

What's important, when interviewing, is to appear professional and attentive

throughout the interview process. Before you leave for the interview, make sure you are

dressed professionally, neatly groomed, your shoes are polished, and you haven't overdone

(none is better than too much) the perfume or aftershave. There's more than one hiring

manager who won't hire someone they can smell (good or bad) before they meet them face-to-

face.

There are things that you should bring with you to the interview and things that you

need to leave at home:

What to Bring to an Interview Portfolio or pad holder with a copy of your resume and a list of references on quality

paper

Work Samples (if relevant)

Notepad, Pen

Breath mint (before you enter the building)

Women: extra pair of pantyhose (keep in your briefcase or car)

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What Not to Bring to an Interview Cell phone

iPod

Gum

Cigarettes

Candy

Soda or coffee

Scuffed shoes, messy and/or not-so-clean clothes

While You Wait:

The way you sit in the lobby, the way you greet the receptionist and the interviewer,

and the way you wait, will all have an impact on whether you are going to be considered for

the job. Be friendly and pleasant, but, not overbearing. If you need to wait, sit quietly (no

phone calls) and patiently. Shake hands with the interviewer. Your handshake should be firm

- not sticky or wimpy. To avoid sweaty palms, visit the rest room, wash your hands, then run

them under cool water prior to the interview. Keep your palms open rather than clenched in a

fist and keep a tissue you in your pocket to (surreptitiously) wipe them.

Nonverbal Communication During the Interview

1. Make eye contact with the interviewer for a few seconds at a time.

2. Smile and nod (at appropriate times) when the interviewer is talking, but, don't overdo

it. Don't laugh unless the interviewer does first.

3. Be polite and keep an even tone to your speech. Don't be too loud or too quiet.

4. Don't slouch.

5. Do relax and lean forward a little towards the interviewer so you appear interested and

engaged.

6. Don't lean back. You will look too casual and relaxed.

7. Keep your feet on the floor and your back against the lower back of the chair.

8. Pay attention, be attentive and interested.

9. Listen.

10. Don't interrupt.

11. Stay calm. Even if you had a bad experience at a previous position or were fired, keep

your emotions to yourself and do not show anger or frown.

12. Not sure what to do with your hands? Hold a pen and your notepad or rest an arm on

the chair or on your lap, so you look comfortable. Don't let your arms fly around the

room when you're making a point.

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How to Dress for an InterviewMen's Interview Attire

Suit (solid color - navy or dark grey)

Long sleeve shirt (white or coordinated with the

suit)

Belt

Tie

Dark socks, conservative leather shoes

Little or no jewelry

Neat, professional hairstyle

Limit the aftershave

Neatly trimmed nails

Women's Interview Attire Suit (navy, black or dark grey)

The suit skirt should be long enough so you can sit down

comfortably

Coordinated blouse

Conservative shoes

Limited jewelry

Professional hairstyle

Neutral pantyhose

Light make-up and perfume

Neatly manicured clean nail

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REFERENCES

1. İletişim ve Beden Dili, Ercan Kaşıkçı, Lamure, 2004

2. Beden Dili: Davranış Anahtarı, Otto Schober, Arion, 2003

3. Gestures: The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language around the World,

Roger E. Axtell, 2002

4. Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction, Harcourt College

Publish, 1997

5. Communicating Across Cultures, Stella Ting-Toomey, Guilford Press,

1999