"chuck" spec

Chuck

"Chuck vs. High School"

byMax Page

Max PageCOPYRIGHT 2011

TEASER

FLASHBACK

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY

Three BULLIES throw MORGAN (15) into a dumpster.

BULLYRight where you belong, Grimes! Don’t even think about getting out!

The bullies laugh and walk off.

LATER

The dumpster opens to reveal the silhouette of CHUCK (16).

MORGANChuck? Is that you?

CHUCKHey, buddy. Sorry I’m late. I had to borrow a ride from Ellie. You want some company?

Chuck climbs in. The dumpster label reads: MIKE’S DUMP.

CHUCK (O.S.) (CONT’D)You okay?

MORGAN (O.S.)Yeah, I guess. I just thought high school would be different, ya know? But everyday it’s the same thing. I tell ya, 20 years from now, things are gonna be way different.

END FLASHBACK

INT. DUMPSTER/EXT. ALLEY - DAY

The dumpster label reads: MIKE’S DUMP. SINCE 1990.

MORGAN (O.S.)Oh man, this is great! Exactly where I thought we’d be twenty years ago.

Morgan and Chuck sit cramped in a dumpster.

CHUCKUgh, Morgan... for the last time, this isn’t a mission.

MORGANSo what’s the plan? Who’s our target? We gonna bag him, tag him, send him back to the dumps...

CHUCKPun intended...?

MORGANAs always.

Morgan whips out a stethoscope-looking child spy toy.

CHUCKWhat is that?

MORGANHuh, oh, it’s the Stealth-o-Scope 9000. Picked it up at a Toys R Us on the way here.

CHUCKLook, Morgan, I told you, this is just a little undercover work. I’m just in here in case they need backup.

MORGANYou see that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Backup! You’re their backup and I’m yours. You’re like Magnum P.I., and I’m TC... or Higgins, you know, whatever works for you--

The lid opens and CASEY sticks his head in.

CASEYHey, numbskulls! Shut your yap. He should be here any minute.

(to Morgan)And you, you’re not even supposed to be here.

Casey eyes Morgan’s toy.

MORGAN...It’s the Stealth-o--

CASEYGimme that!

MORGANI just thought maybe I could help.

2.

CASEYHa! The day you help catch a bad guy is the day I personally sing praises of your name to Beckman.

Casey goes to throw the toy aside--

SARAH (O.S.)Casey, he’s here.

He pockets it. Shuts the lid.

A PRIUS pulls up. A NERDY MAN with a briefcase steps out.

Morgan and Chuck peek through the crack in the lid.

MORGANThat’s the guy? He’s a bad guy? Even I could take him.

CHUCKMorgan, please.

NERDY MAN(jittery)

Listen, I don’t have a lot of time. You got the money?

SARAHYou got the stuff?

The man gives them a look, then begins to open his briefcase.

MORGANThis is unbelievable. I mean this guy is like a high school computer teacher.

Morgan sits back down and pulls out a sandwich.

MORGAN (CONT’D)Ahh, there’s nothing like a good-old dumpster stakeout.

CHUCKPlease tell me you didn’t just find that?

MORGANHuh? What, no, please man. I brought this baby from home. Who do you think I am, Jeff? Although it could use some mayo. I bet I could find some if I really looked.

3.

Morgan searches through the trash. SQUEAK. A mouse. Chuck and Morgan flail in fright, falling on top of one another.

The man stops at the sight of the rumbling dumpster nearby. He pulls out a gun. Points it at Sarah and Casey.

NERDY MANWhat is this? What’s going on? Who do you work for?

Chuck pops out, points his gun. Morgan, with a sandwich.

CHUCKFreeze! We’re CIA, don’t move!

The man lowers his gun but turns to shoot at Chuck instead. Misses. Sarah kicks his gun away. Casey grabs for his own gun, but the man throws a knife into Casey’s chest and runs.

SARAHCasey!

Chuck and Morgan scamper out. Morgan accidentally kicks out the stopper on the dumpster wheels, causing it to roll down the inclined alley.

Casey is in shock. He pulls the knife out of the Stealth-o-Scope 9000 inside his jacket pocket. It saved him. GRUNTS. He aims his gun.

The dumpster gains speed on the runaway man. It levels him, knocking him unconscious.

Nobody can believe their eyes. They look at Morgan.

INT. CASTLE, CIA BASE - DAY

FROM A LARGE TELEVISION SCREEN

GENERAL BECKMAN speaks to Chuck, Sarah, Casey and Morgan.

GEN. BECKMANThe man you captured today is Dexter Poindexter...

MORGAN(snicker)

Dexter Poindexter? What kind of geeky name is that?

CASEYLook who’s talking...

4.

GEN. BECKMANHe’s a computer science teacher at the local high school. Good job capturing him.

Morgan throws up his arms as if to say “called it.”

GEN. BECKMAN (CONT’D)(trying to continue)

Unfortunately, due to the coma he is in, we are unable to know how he is involved with the Ring, and what business he has in dealing with Bayview High. Was there anything else that you found on him?

SARAHThe only thing he was carrying was this. It was in his briefcase.

Sarah lifts up an eraser-sized piece of gray clay.

CASEYAt first we thought it was C-4. But so far it’s checked out.

CHUCKWell, either that, or it’s one of those clay stress balls... You saw how shaky that last guy was. I’m just saying, these bad guys hold a lot of anger deep down. They need something to massage their inner core.

Everyone gives him a look.

GEN. BECKMANContinue to run tests and let me know if you find anything. As for the rest of this, we were already familiar with the current misconduct surrounding the premises of Bayview High. Which is exactly why we’ve had an undercover agent there for the past year. But now that we know the Ring is involved, this calls for swifter action.

SARAHWhat do you suggest?

5.

GEN. BECKMANWalker, Colonel Casey, you will be given temporary low level jobs at Bayview High, where you will be undergoing a series of surveillance work.

MORGANOoo, uh, what about me, General Beckman, sir, ma’am...

GEN. BECKMANI’m sorry, Morgan, but you are not nearly qualified for something such as this.

Morgan can’t believe it. AHEM! He clears his throat to remind Casey about earlier. Casey rolls his eyes and GRUNTS.

CASEYUh, General...

GEN. BECKMANYes, Casey?

CASEYFor the record, I just wanted you to know... that is... Morgan is the one responsible for this capture. If it hadn’t of been for him... we would not have had this lead...

GEN. BECKMAN...I’ll be sure to let the record show. However, Morgan still is not ready.

Morgan hangs his head.

GEN. BECKMAN (CONT’D)As for you Chuck, I’ve arranged a job for you as a substitute teacher. There you will meet up with agent McCool.

CHUCKExcuse me? You want me to do what?

GEN. BECKMANGet ready, Chuck. Tomorrow you start high school.

END OF TEASER

6.

ACT ONE

INT. STORE MANAGER’S OFFICE, BUY-MORE - DAY

Morgan sits before BIG MIKE.

BIG MIKEMorgan. There comes a time in every man’s life, when he has to ask himself if he has what it takes. Can he run with the big dogs? I look at you and I see a big dog. A big dog in a... relatively small dog’s body.

Morgan is unsure of the compliment.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)But you got to want it, son. And if there’s one thing I learned from the El Segundo School of Finance, it’s their motto. Go enormous, or go back to your place of residence.

MORGANUh, isn’t that just like a fancy way of saying go big or go home?

BIG MIKEYou’re damn right it is. You see, it goes bigger than that motto, it out-verbalizes it. It tells that motto to go home. Now son, what you need is the opportunity. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna give you. Your mom and I are going away on a little vacation, to get some R & R, TLC, XOXO, if you know what I mean.

Sadly Morgan knows exactly what he means.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)And so I need you to take over the Buy-More while I’m gone. This means watching over the store, doing all the paperwork, and most importantly, demanding respect. Oh, and I want you to take care of my little taquito too.

MORGANUh... your taquito, sir?

7.

BIG MIKEI’m talking about Little Morgan.

MORGAN(relieved)

Oh, you mean me. I’m sorry, I didn’t know we were on a nickname basis...

(Trying to think of one)...Black Squanto..

BIG MIKENo, not you. The dog.

Big Mike pulls a small chihuahua out of his desk drawer.

MORGAN...Have you always had that in there?

BIG MIKEYour mom and I got him a few weeks back. She insisted we name him after you... I wanted to name him Taquito.

Yeah, sure, why not.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)So what do you say, Morgan? Do you have what it takes?

RUCKUS from JEFF and LESTER outside the office. Big Mike looks through the blinds.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)What in the world are they up to now?

Morgan gets up to leave. Taquito follows.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)Stop... Stay... Sit.

Both Morgan and Taquito follow the commands.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)Not you, the dog. Now turn around.

Taquito walks back to Big Mike.

BIG MIKE (CONT’D)You see that. I could get him to lick himself if I wanted.

8.

MORGAN--No, p-please don’t.

Big Mike shoves Taquito into Morgan’s arms.

BIG MIKEHere, take the dog, and go straighten up those goons. And Morgan...

Big Mike holds up a fist as if to say “hold strong.”

INT. HOME & APPLIANCES DEPARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

Buy-More employees cheer and shout before Lester.

LESTER26,27,28,29... and 30!

The crowd goes wild. Jeff exits from a dryer, extremely hot and sweaty. Lester collects cash from the crowd.

LESTER (CONT’D)That’s right everybody, cough it up. 30 spins in the whirlpool on high heat, with no oxygen might I add. Anybody think they can beat that!?

The crowds disperse as Morgan makes way, still carrying Taquito.

MORGANLester, we need to talk.

LESTERWhoa, Grimes, didn’t see you there, pal.

Jeff stands, sweaty, dazed, and completely out of it.

LESTER (CONT’D)(to Jeff)

Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll let you cool off in the rinse cycle next.

MORGANNo, Lester, come on man, we can’t keep having this.

Jeff coughs up a large lint ball. Very large. Morgan and Lester exchange looks.

9.

MORGAN (CONT’D)Look, Big Mike’s going away this week and he’s put me in charge. So that means whatever I say goes.

LESTERAhhh, right, right, right.

Lester pats Jeff on the stomach and gives him a wink.

LESTER (CONT’D)So I guess that means you need us to be especially quiet. Well, unfortunately that comes at a price my friend. You see, unlike you, Grimes, we can’t be bought. But seeing how your management title is on the line, I’ll offer you a deal.

MORGANWhich would be...

JEFFYour place. You gotta let us use it.

MORGANMy, my place? For what? No, why?

Lester places his finger over Morgan’s babbling lips.

LESTERShh shh shh. Why is not important. So what do you say? We promise to keep quiet while Big Mike is gone, you save your reputation, and we get to use your place for one night.

MORGANUgh, fine. Sure, I guess.

Jeff and Lester celebrate. Chuck walks by on his phone. Morgan races to catch up.

MORGAN (CONT’D)Chuck, Chuck, is that the General? Did she change her mind?

Chuck hangs up his phone.

10.

CHUCKNo, that was the Principal. Apparently I’m substituting for fifth period--what, what is that?

MORGANHuh, oh, this is Little Morg... uh Taquito...

(off Chuck’s look)...It’s Big Mike’s and my mom’s. It’s all very complicated, but look, listen, I am driving myself nuts here. Please tell me there’s something you can do.

CHUCKI’m sorry, buddy. You heard what the General said. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back, okay?

Morgan watches as Chuck leaves. Taquito BARKS.

MORGANYeah, you said it, pal.

EXT. BAYVIEW HIGH - DAY

Chuck nervously stands before a school bus.

CHUCKOkay, high school. I’m back.

(extreme home makeover)Move that bus.

The BUS DRIVER rolls his eyes and pulls away to reveal Bayview High. It looks like a prison.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Chuck examines his surroundings. It resembles a high tech POW camp. Security cams everywhere. A few barred windows.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAM (60), think Teddy Roosevelt, notices Chuck.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMMr. Carmichael. We spoke on the phone, I’m Principal Graham. Glad to have you on such short notice.

CHUCKYes of course.

11.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMSo what do you think of the place so far?

CHUCKUh, the barred windows are a nice touch.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMThat would be the detention room. You see over the past year, Bayview has undergone major reconstruction. Not to mention the fact that we’ve had new employment just about every week. But from what the board informed me about your resume, we hope to hold onto you.

Graham looks at his watch.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAM (CONT’D)Oh, I do apologize, but I’m late for a meeting. Here, this is a list of the classes you’ll be substituting for after lunch. Good luck.

Chuck looks over his schedule. A few classes catch his eye.

CHUCK...French... Track!? I don’t suppose there’s any chance I could see my resume?

Graham is already well on his way. Chuck is left stranded. He notices Casey mopping in a janitor’s uniform. Chuck walks over. Casey’s name tag reads “Pablito.”

CHUCK (CONT’D)You missed a spot... Pablito.

CASEYJust keep your eyes peeled, Bartowski. Anybody could be a Ring agent in this place.

CHUCKIt does feel a little like a penitentiary on lockdown.

CASEYIt’s not too bad. Kind of reminds me of my youth.

12.

Chuck can’t understand him.

CAMPUS LOUDSPEAKER (O.S.)Pablito. Report to the boy’s bathroom, immediately.

Casey GRUNTS. Chuck waves bye-bye.

IN THE LIBRARY

Sarah is dressed in a skimpy librarian outfit filing books. A crowd of boys surround her. Chuck makes his way inside.

CHUCKWell, hello, hello. And to think I spent all my high school years in the library waiting around for Ms. Goldman.

SARAHSo, how goes your first day?

CHUCKSuddenly high school doesn’t seem so bad.

Sarah smiles. The school bell RINGS!

SARAHCome on, I’ll buy you lunch.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

A mound of gruel is slopped on a tray. HELGA (30), the burly cafeteria woman winks at Casey. He turns to Chuck and Sarah.

CASEYLet’s get out of here.

The cafeteria has high school written all over it. Even the teachers’ tables are split up into cool and non-cool.

Casey makes his way to a nerdy teacher table. They scurry away in fright. He sits down. Chuck and Sarah walk over.

SARAHSo, Chuck, have you flashed on anything yet?

CHUCKNothing yet. And to be honest, I’m still not sure where we’re supposed to meet our contact.

13.

Chuck KNOCKS his rock hard biscuit on his tray.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Uh, I think I’ll grab something to drink.

Chuck grabs a milk and opens it. As he turns around, he bumps into PAI-LONG, a disturbed looking emo student.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Oh, oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.

Pai-Long advances toward him, but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. It is SHERMAN NAUGHTS (45), pointed-features, thin mustache, greased back hair, and a pompous look.

NAUGHTSIt’s alright, Pai-Long. Make your way to the tables and we’ll finish the tour later.

Pai-Long glares at Chuck and leaves.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Sherman Naughts. The Vice Principal.

CHUCKAh, Charles Carmichael. One of your new substitute teachers.

NAUGHTSIs that right? Principal Graham didn’t mention anything to me. Usually I do all the hiring. What do you teach?

CHUCKAs of right now, a little bit of everything, but I’m hoping to settle on computer science.

NAUGHTSInteresting... Well I’m sure that you’ll find we run a tight ship here. A real zero tolerance pol--

RING! The fire alarm. Naughts looks up disgruntled.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)(under his breath)

...McCool...

14.

Chuck notices the name.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Students and teachers rush outside. Chuck notices a STUDENT running against traffic and into a classroom. He follows.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

The student tinkers away at one of the class computers. Chuck enters to see a large written equation on the chalk board... FLASH. A torrent of images flood his mind: A PENDULUM - MATHEMATICAL EQUATIONS - FRANZ MESMER. Dozens more follow. Chuck can’t believe his eyes.

CHUCKThey’re building an intersect.

STUDENTI know. The Ring is using it to brainwash students.

Chuck turns to face the student. He mirrors Johnny Quest.

CHUCKHow do you know about the Ring?

The student looks up at Chuck.

STUDENTChuck. I’m your contact. I’m agent Mitch McCool.

Chuck raises an eyebrow.

END OF ACT ONE

15.

ACT TWO

EXT. BAYVIEW HIGH - DAY

Chuck follows Mitch as crowds of students and teachers pour out around campus. SIRENS in the distance.

CHUCKI can’t believe this. You’re my contact? What are you, like 18?

MITCHActually, I’m 17.

CHUCKDoes General Beckman know about this?

Mitch smiles.

MITCHWho do you think put me here? For the past year my mission has been to uncover any information leading to the Ring. It wasn’t till recently that I discovered their plan to indoctrinate students through a self-built intersect.

CHUCKDo you have any idea who’s behind it?

MITCHI’d like to say Naughts, but so far he’s checked out. Which is exactly why I’ve reduced myself to pulling so many pranks. If I can keep the faculty distracted with hijinx, then maybe I can buy myself enough time to figure who’s behind it all. Check it out.

They round the corner. Mitch knocks on a door. It swings open and they step inside.

INT. STUDY HALL - DAY

Resembles the stock exchange floor. A large chalkboard with bets. Lame education posters parade the walls. Several kids greet and shake Mitch’s hand. Chuck can’t believe his eyes.

CHUCKYou gotta be kidding me.

16.

MITCHThey call it, “study hall.” The least used room on campus. I found it a while back. It was pretty busted up and filled with cobwebs. Nobody had ever heard of it. Not even the teachers know it’s here.

STUDENTS shout and place bets at the tables.

MITCH (CONT’D)So I sorta turned it into an underground betting system. It’s the best thing I could think of to keep students away from the Ring.

CHUCKThat’s one way to do it.

KIDHey, Mitch, thanks for getting me out of detention yesterday.

MITCHDon’t mention it.

At the chalkboard is CHESTER, a small boy with glasses and a notepad. Chester looks up at Chuck.

MITCH (CONT’D)Don’t worry. He’s cool.

CHESTERSo you want the good or the bad news first?

MITCHEither.

CHESTERGood news is, we found the mutated rats we let loose in the cafeteria last month.

MITCHHey, alright.

Chuck shudders at the sight of a squeaking shoebox nearby.

CHESTERBad news is, they had babies. Lots of babies.

Chester pulls out a folder and hands it to Mitch.

17.

CHESTER (CONT’D)This is the weekly forecast. I got the school’s building plans that you wanted. Also, we have a new foreign exchange student named Pai-Long. I’ve already sent him your regards. The football game has been moved to Friday, but unfortunately our quarterback has detention. He’s put in a request to get him out, oh, and Jessica still hasn’t been asked to Homecoming yet.

CHUCKSo you’re telling me none of the teachers know about this?

MITCHI do my best to keep it under wraps. And in case anyone should discover our hideout, we soak the boards in lighter fluid and strike it with a match for a fast getaway.

Mitch slides a match into a centered hole in the chalk stick. He imitates striking it against the board, and FOOM.

CHUCKThis is unbelievable. I mean first you’re all Johnny Quest, then you’re like a miniature James Bond, but now, you’re...

(gasps)...Ferris Bueller.

Mitch doesn’t know who that is.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Ferris Bueller... really? One of the greatest movies of all time... Danke Schoen... Matthew Broderick..

(imitates “Oh Yeah” Yello Song)

... Ba-dum-bum-bum... OH YEAH!

Mitch looks around confused. Chester shrugs.

MITCHYou mean like the Kool-Aid guy?

A sound bite from the Yello Song “Oh Yeah”.

“CHICK...CHICKA-CHICKAHH...!”

18.


Chuck, Sarah and Casey speak to Beckman on screen.

CHUCKGeneral, when you told me I would be meeting my contact, you failed to mention the fact that, though he may have a license to kill, he’s minus the license to drive.

GEN. BECKMANChuck, agent McCool’s age is of no importance to you. I can assure you that he is a well-trained operative, and fully capable of anything this mission has to offer. Now, what is it that you found?

CHUCKApparently the Ring was using its previous computer science teacher to build some sort of new intersect.

SARAHWhat do you mean?

CHUCKI mean, instead of lecturing students with nefarious intelligence, they’re subliminally implementing images, equations, and information into the topics they teach in class.

CASEY...Indoctrination...

CHUCKIt’s only a matter of time before they start recruiting.

INT. BUY-MORE - DAY

Jeff and Lester stand before an enormous ball of silly putty.

LESTERCome one, come all, to the giant silly putty ball!

Morgan hangs his head and walks over.

19.

MORGANAlright, what is this? What’s going on?

LESTERThis, my friend, is a 250-pound ball of silly putty. The largest the world has ever seen!

MORGANMmm, yeah, I can see that. But what is it doing here?

LESTERRolled it all the way from Jeff’s place. We have to keep it moving every 10 hours otherwise it’ll settle into a giant blob.

Jeff pulls up his shirt and slaps his stomach.

JEFFWe can still use your place, right?

MORGANWhat, this? This is why you wanted to use my place?

Lester gets dangerously close.

LESTERYou haven’t changed your mind, have you, Grimes?

Jeff plants his face in the ball. Pulls it out and stretches the face plant image.

JEFFLook, it’s Rosie O’Donnell!

Morgan shakes his head. He notices Sarah walk by with a basket of school supplies. He races to catch up.

MORGANHey, Sarah? What are you doing here? I heard something about a fire at the school?

SARAHOh, not exactly, more or less we got an extended lunch break, so I thought I’d use it to pick up some school supplies. Matter of fact, I should be getting back.

20.

MORGANHey, not so fast. We never get to talk, just you and me. So how are you and Chuck doing? The relationship holding strong?

SARAHUm, yeah, actually we’re doing fan--

MORGANYeah, uh huh, that’s great, listen, you gotta get me outta here, Sarah. Please, please tell there is something you can do.

SARAHI’m sorry, Morgan but there’s noth--

MORGANBetween the Buy-More, dog sitting, and this giant ball of silly putty, I’m going crazy, alright. Meanwhile, Chuck gets to go on these CIA missions while redeeming himself from his old high school days. He’s not the only one that had it rough in high school, you know. You gotta let me in.

SARAHBelieve me, Morgan, if I could I would. I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing I can do.

INT. HALLWAY, BAYVIEW HIGH - LATER

Students and teachers make their way back to their classes. Chuck notices an equation on the board inside a classroom.

CHUCKAnother intersect equation?

He thinks to himself, then:

FLASH! A series of French words and images.


Chuck enters with an air of French attitude. A little too French.

CHUCK(in French)

Hello Hello class.

21.

(MORE)

So nice to meet all of you. Now I know what you’re thinking. Who is this good-looking man and how can he teach us to speak the language of love?

Chuck makes the familiar French “Huh Huoah” sound. He erases the equation on the board and writes his name.

CHUCK (CONT’D)My name is Mr. Carmichael, but hopefully you’ll feel comfortable calling me, Chuck. Now, any questions before we dive into the buttery world of croissants?

A crowd of glaring STUDENTS. Something is wrong.

STUDENT(monotone/you idiot)

...This is Calculus.

Chuck turns to see a mouse-like MATH TEACHER (50), at the door. Chuck hands him the chalk and cautiously makes his way out.

CHUCK...I’ll just let myself out...

(re: class)Au revoir...that means bye--never mind.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Chuck closes the door and exhales. That was brutal. The bell RINGS!

EXT. TRACK & SOCCER FIELD - LATER

Chuck wears a whistle and warm up gear. Mitch notices him.

MITCHHey, Chuck! Where you headed?

CHUCKTrack field. You?

MITCHOh, I got soccer practice. So, did you find anything yet?

CHUCK...Not exactly.

22.

CHUCK (CONT'D)

MITCHHmm. Well keep an eye out. You’re bound to come across something.

KIDHey, Mitch!

JAKE, a kid with a letterman jacket runs over.

JAKEYou got a second? I could really use you’re help.

MITCHThis about your detention during the big game?

JAKESo you heard, huh? Anything you can do?

MITCHHey, Chuck, I’ll catch up with you later, okay?

Chuck nods and makes his way to a group of KIDS stretching on the track.

STUDENTLook who it is. Monsieur Le Dorkas.

CHUCKAha, very funny. Well this time I know I’m in the right place. Now, as I said before, my name is Mr. Carmichael. I’ll be your substitute track coach for the day.

STUDENTUgh, this is bogus. It’s almost the end of the week. Couldn’t we just go home?

CHUCKNo, you can’t just go home. I’m here to teach you how to run, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

Their expressions sour. Chuck turns to face the hurdles.

CHUCK (CONT’D)(to himself)

It’s go time.

23.

FLASH! A series of athletic images.

Chuck rips off his warm ups to reveal extremely short shorts. WHOOSH, he takes off down the lane.

The kids watch in astonishment as Chuck effortlessly clears each hurdle like a gazelle passing the other sprinters.

Casey sweeps nearby and does a double-take of Chuck.

Chuck crosses the tape in first. He turns around awaiting his cheers. The kids might actually be impressed but then, WHAM! Chuck is hit in the head by a soccer ball and falls into another man. The kids laugh in delight.

Chuck looks to see he’s knocked over the Math Teacher.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry... again.

The teacher doesn’t say anything. He quickly gathers up his fallen items. One of them is a clay artifact. Chuck watches as the teacher snatches it and scurries away.

Chuck makes eye contact with Casey.

CHUCK (CONT’D)(on mic)

Casey. I think I found our man.

CASEY(on mic)

Stay with the kids, Bartowski,Walker and I will follow him.

Chuck jogs back to the students.

CHUCKOkay, so... who wants to end class early?

INT. WAREHOUSE - LATER

Sarah and Casey pick the lock to a door. They search through the room until Sarah comes across another clay artifact.

SARAHCasey, look. Chuck was right.

The door swings open to reveal the Math Teacher and a few Henchmen with guns. He holds up Sarah’s librarian glasses.

MATH TEACHERDid you drop these?

24.

INT. NERD HERD VEHICLE/EXT. WAREHOUSE - LATER

Chuck pulls to the curb. Whips out a tracking device. It points to the warehouse.

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

Chuck sneaks around. Stops to listen through a vent.

ANOTHER ROOM

Sarah and Casey sit in chairs tied back to back. The Math Teacher and a few Henchmen surround them.

MATH TEACHERI should have known you weren’t really a librarian.

He brushes the hair from Sarah’s face. She flinches. The henchmen chuckle with delight. He reaches down and pulls the clay artifact from her grasp.

MATH TEACHER (CONT’D)So this was what you were after, hmm? You have no idea what this is, do you?

(to henchmen)Call Naughts, tell him we’re going to need a new librarian... and janitor.

BOOM! Chuck kicks down the door.

SARAHChuck!

MATH TEACHERYou again?! Get him!

FLASH. Kung Fu symbols invade Chuck’s mind.

Chuck jumps up, swings off a pipe and kicks them in the face. He round-houses two more and backsweeps another. Chuck walks up to the Math Teacher.

CHUCKAu revoir!

Chuck takes the clay and knocks him out. He kneels down to untie Sarah and Casey.

CHUCK (CONT’D)I’m so sorry I’m late. You guys okay?

25.

More henchmen race in. Chuck stands up. FA-TINK! A bullet ricochets off a pipe. Chemical gas spits into Chuck’s eyes.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Ahhh! My eyes! I can’t see!

SARAHChuck!

Chuck knocks into boxes and containers. He swings his fists wildly. The henchmen look at him bewildered.

SARAH (CONT’D)Oh no, a Chuck that can’t flash is just...

CASEY...Chuck.

END OF ACT TWO

26.

ACT THREE

INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY

Casey wiggles at the ropes. Chuck swings blindly at the henchmen around him.

CASEYI can almost get myself free.

Chuck continues to swing and fall over.

SARAHChuck, to your left, your left.

CASEYThere! Got it!

Chuck swings. Punches Casey. Casey GRUNTS.

CASEY (CONT’D)When I get out of here, Bartowski, I swear I’ll tear you apart with m--

SARAHChuck, look out!

Chuck grabs a lead pipe and swings. BAM! Knocks out Casey.

CHUCKI got him!

SARAHChuck, you just knocked out Casey.

Chuck lowers his pipe, still trying to see. A henchmen points his gun. CRASH! Mitch breaks through the window from behind. One by one he delivers powerful blow to each bad guy. Chuck has no idea what’s going on.

MITCHYou guys okay?

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

CAPTAIN AWESOME checks Chuck’s eyes. Sarah at his side.

CAPTAIN AWESOMEIt’s a good thing you got to me in time bro, chemical burns can cause serious damage. You’ll have to wear these for at least a day.

Awesome pulls out a huge pair of black eye-shield glasses.

27.

CHUCKOh great, I get to look like I’m 90.

CAPTAIN AWESOMEWhich reminds me, Chuck. Ellie is planning a little get together this Saturday. So make sure you get done whatever it is you’re working on.... What are you guys working on anyway?

Chuck and Sarah give him a look.

CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT’D)No, no, you’re right. I don’t wanna know. I still have nightmares about being caught between terrorist groups and the CIA.

SARAHUh, maybe I’ll go check on Casey. See if he’s regained consciousness.

Sarah exits as Mitch enters.

MITCHHey, Chuck, nice shades. Again, I’m sorry I didn’t get to you earlier, I got held up in home ec. But hey, now I might finally have a reason to get back at Naughts. Right?

CAPTAIN AWESOMEYou mean he knows about you too?

CHUCKDevon, he’s CIA.

CAPTAIN AWESOMEHe’s CIA?! What do they just recruit anyone these days!? And I suppose you got that scar in Iraq?

Awesome points to a scar above Mitch’s right eye.

MITCHUh, the Gulf War, actually.

Chuck and Awesome simultaneously look at Mitch.

28.


Chuck, Sarah and Casey speak to Beckman on screen. The other monitor has a picture of Sherman Naughts.

GEN. BECKMANAnd you’re absolutely sure that this Vice Principal Naughts is the one behind these Ring operations?

SARAHNot exactly. The Ring agents mentioned his name, but, given the context, it could have meant anything.

CHUCKTrust me, considering the whole Ed Rooney parallel, I’d say he’s pretty close.

Everyone gives Chuck a look.

CHUCK (CONT’D)(unbelieving)

...Has no one seen Ferris Bueller?

GEN. BECKMANChuck, this is no time for mediocre film references.

Chuck is hurt.

CASEYIn other words, if he works for the Ring, why didn’t you flash on him?

CHUCKLook, just because I didn’t flash on him, doesn’t mean he doesn’t work for the--

(re: General’s comment)--Seriously though, “mediocre.” I mean, the movie is a classic--

GEN. BECKMANChuck, unless you can give me information I can actually use, I suggest you keep to yourself.

29.

SARAHWell maybe if we found more teachers in possession of one of these we’d know who was working for the Ring. Whatever it is, they seemed to think it was pretty important.

Sarah holds up the clay artifact.

CASEYMmm, I still say we call in a task force and ambush the place.

MITCH (O.S.)No, trust me, that’s not a good idea.

Mitch walks in. Beckman is surprised to see him.

GEN. BECKMAN(motherly)

Mitch, you’re looking well.

MITCHThanks...uh...General.

(to Sarah and Casey)Sorry, I never officially introduced myself. I’m Mitch.

Mitch shakes their hands. Casey sizes him up.

MITCH (CONT’D)The Ring is too smart. If we ambush the school, they’d make some sort of diversion. And we can’t risk any students getting hurt.

GEN. BECKMANMitch is right. Besides, we cannot chance this going public. The media would have a frenzy if they found out terrorist groups were indoctrinating students within our own high schools.

CHUCKSo what do you want us to do?

GEN. BECKMANAs of right now, nothing. I’m sorry, Chuck, but a hunch just isn’t good enough.

30.

EXT. PATIO, THE DUPLEX - DUSK

Chuck and Sarah walk to the door.

CHUCKHey, you know when this is all over, I was hoping we could get back to where we left off.

SARAHOh yeah? What’d you have in mind?

CHUCKWell, there is a dance coming up at school, and Mitch will need a chaperone.

SARAHAre you asking me to Homecoming?

CHUCKSarah Walker, will you go to Homecoming with me?

(off Sarah’s laugh)What?

SARAH(re: Chuck’s glasses)

I’m sorry, it’s just really hard to take you serious with those things.

CHUCKWhat? You don’t like the Stevie Wonder look?

He imitates Stevie Wonder.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Come to think of it, I wonder if I can see without them yet...

SARAHOh, be careful.

Chuck takes off his shades. The light burns. Too soon.

CHUCKAgh, no, no, not yet.

SARAHJust get some rest, you look tired.

CHUCKI’ll see you tomorrow?

31.

Sarah gives him a look.

SARAHIf you’re lucky.

They kiss. Chuck walks into

INT. CHUCK’S LIVING ROOM - DUSK

ELLIE is cooking cupcakes in the kitchen.

CHUCKEllie?

Ellie notices Chuck’s eye protectors.

ELLIEChuck, oh my gosh, what happened?

CHUCKWhat, oh, this? Yeah, I’m fine. Just a... chemical... gas... spray... accident, that’s all.

ELLIEThat sounds serious. Are you alright?

CHUCKYeah, I’m fine. What are you doing in here anyway?

ELLIEMy oven is on the fritz again. I’m baking cupcakes for Saturday’s get together.

She holds up two small bottles of red and blue food coloring.

ELLIE (CONT’D)Do you want red or blue frosting?

CHUCKUh, ha, blue’s fine.

NOISE from outside.

EXT. PATIO - DUSK

Awesome helps roll Jeff and Lester’s putty ball to the door.

LESTERAh, thanks, Devon, I owe you one.

32.

CAPTAIN AWESOMEYeah, don’t mention it.

CHUCKPlease tell me that thing isn’t staying here.

LESTERHo man I am beat. Hey, Chuck, you got any refreshments or grub inside? Great, thanks.

Jeff and Lester pat him on the shoulder and walk inside.

CAPTAIN AWESOMEHey, Chuck, how are your eyes doing?

ELLIEWait, hold on. You knew about this and you didn’t tell me?

CAPTAIN AWESOME(panics)

Uhh, no, yeah, I mean, he stopped by the hospital. It’s nothing serious, just a little mustard in the eyes.

Chuck mouths “Mustard?” to Awesome. Like, where the hell did you come up with that?

ELLIEWait, mustard? I thought you said you got sprayed by some sort of chemical gas. Is there something you guys aren’t telling me?

CHUCK(panics)

Uhh, no, I did. It was more like a mustard gas, actually. I knelt down behind Jeff at the wrong time... yeah, he had eaten hot dogs for lunch...

Ellie is horrified. Jeff and Lester return, eating cupcakes.

LESTERAhh, gotta love evening cupcakes.

Jeff BURPS. Ellie gives him a grotesque look and backs away.

33.

LESTER (CONT’D)So, Chuck, where you been today?

CHUCKUh...

MITCH O.S.Chuck!

Mitch comes running up.

MITCHYou forgot this in the car.

Mitch hands Chuck the small clay artifact. Lester grabs it.

LESTERChuck, you didn’t tell me you wanted to add to the silly putty ball... it’s a little gray but...

JEFFLooks more like funny putty to me.

Lester goes to stick it on the ball.

CHUCK/MITCHNo!

Chuck grabs the clay from an offended Lester.

CHUCKSorry, I’m... starting my own collection.

ELLIESo, I’m sorry, who are you?

CHUCK...Duh, this, uh...

MITCHI’m Mitch. Chuck has sorta been mentoring me as part of the Big Brother Program.

Ellie is flabbergasted. Chuck is surprised as well.

Jeff and Lester give each other curious looks.

ELLIEChuck, you never mentioned any of this. No wonder you’ve been so busy lately.

34.

(MORE)

(to Mitch)Well, welcome. You know, we’re having a little get together this Saturday, you’re more than welcome to come.

MITCHOh, sure, okay, thanks.

Jeff and Lester whip their attention to Ellie.

LESTERA party? I don’t suppose you got room for three more?

Lester pats the ball. Ellie wishes she could take it back.

ELLIEOy.

Jeff and Lester high-five.

INT. CHUCK’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Morgan walks in with Taquito. Jeff and Lester watch TV and stuff their faces with nachos. The silly putty ball has a smiley face. A couple of soda cans stick out of its head.

MORGANOh, that’s right. I forgot you guys were staying over. Where’s Chuck?

JEFFAsleep.

MORGAN(disappointed)

What? Asleep? He said he was gonna tell me all about the...

LESTERMentorship? I must say, Jeff and I found that quite admirable.

Jeff feeds the putty ball chips. Grabs a drink.

MORGANRemind me again why you guys are here?

Jeff and Lester walk to the counter. Jeff makes a sandwich.

35.

ELLIE (CONT'D)

LESTERTomorrow is a big day, Grimes. We’ll be meeting with the Chair of Silly Putty University to accept a plaque and finally become full-fledged Putz’s. Until then we can’t risk anyone sabotaging our dream.

JEFFThe government has been after this for years.

This is crazy, but Morgan is too tired to argue.

POV FROM OUTSIDE THE WINDOW

They are being watched.

BACK TO SCENE

MORGANHow did you guys even get that thing over here? The Buy-More is like 10 miles away.

LESTERStored it in the Nerd Herder.

MORGANYou guys fit that thing in the Nerd Herder? Does the company know you’re using its vehicle for your own shenanigans?

LESTER(to Jeff)

Ha! Such a sweet kid.(re: Morgan)

Does the Buy-More know about half the things we do? Take last week for instance. We installed an Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard in place of the Nerd Herder’s alarm system. Why? Because we can.

Lester jingles the car keys.

The window opens. Out sticks a blow dart gun. FHPT! Jeff is hit in the neck. THUD! Morgan turns around. Jeff has fallen face first. Knees down, butt in the air and arms back. Lester doesn’t notice. He continues to monologue.

36.

MORGANJeff?

LESTERYou see I like to think of myself as a man’s man. I don’t take orders from company policy...

Morgan kneels to check on Jeff. FHPT! A dart hits Morgan. He collapses nose first into Jeff’s butt.

LESTER (CONT’D)...I’m not a brown noser like you, Grimes...

FHPT! Lester is hit. His knees buckle, he falls nose first into Morgans butt, same position. All unconscious. They look like three dogs sniffing each other. Either that or a majorly failed game of leap frog.

The ATTACKER comes through the window. He’s dressed in black. Wears a mask with eye holes. He searches around for something. YIP! YIP! Taquito barks at him.

INT. CHUCK’S ROOM - DAY

The barking wakes up Chuck. Opens his eyes, still blurry.

INT. KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM

Chuck fumbles in. Notices the Attacker. Assesses the odd situation of Jeff, Morgan and Lester. Back to the Attacker.

They both look at the clay artifact on the counter. Lunge for it. They interlock and struggle. Chuck reaches for something, anything, grabs the food dyes and, SQUEEZE! The blue dye sprays Chuck on the right side of his face. The red dye explodes into Attacker’s hands and eyes.

Chuck leaps forward to pull off the Attacker’s mask. It slips back a bit. We still don’t see his face. Neither does Chuck. Chuck trips and pushes the Attacker face first into the giant putty ball. The artifact sticks in it too.

Chuck falls to the ground. He notices the Nerd Herder keys. Clicks the panic button.

OUTSIDE

The NERD HERDER alarm sounds. WEEOO WEEOO!

BACK TO SCENE

The Attacker pulls his mask on. Panics at the alarm sound.

37.

OUTSIDE

Sound bites from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies comes on.

ARNOLD ALARMThis is Detective John Kimble!

INT. CAPTAIN AWESOME & ELLIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Awesome and Ellie lie in bed. He shoots up in fright.

ARNOLD ALARM (O.S.)I’d like to ask you a few questions!

CAPTAIN AWESOMEThey’ve come for me!

ELLIEWhat? What are you talking about?

Awesome jumps out of bed and begins packing.

CAPTAIN AWESOMEWe’ve gotta get out of here!

ELLIEDevon, what’s going on?

ARNOLD ALARM (O.S.)Get Down!

Devon throws his clothes in the air and dives to the floor.

INT. CHUCK’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The Attacker looks around, he’s out of time. He spin kicks Chuck, knocking him unconscious onto the couch and escapes.

INT. CAPTAIN AWESOME & ELLIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

The alarm continues to sound.

ELLIEDevon?

ARNOLD ALARM (O.S.)On October 7th. We the people of California have the opportunity to send a message to the political establishment. That we want action and we want change.

Awesome lifts his head from under the strewn laundry.

38.

INT. CHUCK’S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Chuck lies on the couch. His face still stained with blue dye. Taquito licks him. Chuck rubs his eyes. He can see now. The room is empty. Silly putty ball is gone.

CREAK. Morgan walks out of his room in a daze.

CHUCKMorgan!

MORGANHey, morning, Chuck. What’s with the Braveheart look?

Chuck looks at his reflection. Rubs it. Doesn’t come off.

CHUCKWhat happened last night?

MORGANUh, yeah, I’d really rather not talk about it. All I know is that I woke up with my nose in an area most proctologists would fear.

CHUCKWait a minute. Where are Jeff and Lester? Where’s the putty ball?


Sarah puts down the phone. Turns to Casey.

SARAHThat was Chuck. He said he was attacked last night by someone trying to get the clay artifact.

CASEYWho? Did he get it?

SARAHHe never saw his face, but he said it’s imprinted into Jeff and Lester’s putty ball.

CASEYYou’re telling me the fate of this mission is in the hands of Jeff and Lester’s giant silly putty ball?

END OF ACT THREE

39.

ACT FOUR

INT. BUY-MORE - DAY

Chuck, Sarah and Casey rush through the front doors.

CASEY(chuck’s face)

What the hell happened to you?

CHUCK...Uh...

FRONT DESK

Jeff and Lester stand before a crowd. Their picture is taken with the SILLY PUTTY CHAIRMAN. Beside them, Pai-Long sticks his hands into the ball, destroying the face plant image. They’re is too late.

LESTERVery good, Pai-Long. Think of it as the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. You’ll feel right at home.

CHUCKLester, what are your doing?

LESTERChuck!... Or, Papa Smurf? Listen, I want to thank you. Yesterday you opened our eyes.

CHUCKWhat? What are you talking about?

LESTERI’m talking about the Big Brother Program. Finally, someone Jeff and I can pass on our wisdom too. Hand off the torch that is, Jeffster. Yep, he came into the store this morning practically fascinated with the giant putty ball. We just knew at that moment, he was the one.

Lester puts his arm around Pai-Long. Pai-Long scowls at Chuck and shrugs Lester off.

LESTER (CONT’D)...It’s a work in progress.

40.

CHUCK(pai-long’s emo makeup)

What’s with the red eye makeup?

LESTERI don’t know. I think it’s a cultural thing. But anyway, thanks, buddy, we owe you one.

Chuck sighs. Looks at Sarah and Casey.


Chuck, Sarah and Casey speak to Beckman on screen.

GEN. BECKMANSo you’re telling me that the Ring not only knows your true identity, but regained possession of the clay artifact as well?

CHUCKWell, maybe, I don’t know. I never got a good look at his face.

CASEYRight now were having a team confiscate the putty ball, in case any evidence was left behind.

GEN. BECKMANI’m sorry, Chuck, but I’m going to have to pull you from this mission.

CHUCKWhat? No, General, I can help. We can still do something. We can’t just let the Ring brainwash these students into living lives they weren’t supposed to.

GEN. BECKMANI realize that, Chuck. But your identity has been made. And I can’t call in a task force to neutralize the school just because of a hunch. Until you have proof, a name, a face, there is nothing I can do.

INT. CHUCK’S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Chuck slumps down on the couch. Mitch enters. Notices Chuck’s blue face.

41.

MITCHHey, I like the whole facebook thing you got going on there.

CHUCKDon’t you have class?

MITCHNah, it’s my home period... I heard about what happened. It’s okay man, we tried.

CHUCKNo, it’s not okay. Because of me, kids are gonna have intersects built into their brains and be forced to live completely different lives. I know, I’ve been there. I just wish there was some way we could know for sure.

(to himself)I just know this Naughts guy is no good... But we can’t arrest him, we can’t detain him...

Chuck notices Mitch’s weekly forecast folder in his backpack.

CHUCK (CONT’D)(lightbulb)

...but with a little mischief, maybe we can pull off a sting...

Chuck picks up the folder and flips through.

MITCHAnother detention breakout?

Chuck grabs his huge eyeglasses. Smiles. Dials his phone.

CHUCKMorgan, it’s Chuck. I need ya, buddy.

Chuck looks down at Taquito.

INT. HALLWAY, BAYVIEW HIGH - DAY

Taquito wears a yellow vest that reads “SEEING EYE DOG.”

Mitch has on Chuck’s huge eyeglasses and holds Taquito at the reins. Mitch places his finger in his ear mic.

MITCHReady when you are, Chuck.

42.

INT. VAN/EXT. BAYVIEW HIGH - DAY

Chuck and Morgan sit at the control board.

MORGANThis is awesome man! Magnum and T.C. together again.

CHUCKPlease, if anything, you’re Rick, not T.C.

(on mic)Okay, Mitch, now remember, math class has a substitute teacher today. You just have to stall him long enough to plant the bug.


Mitch enters waving his arms trying to find a seat. The SUBSTITUTE TEACHER turns around. Students snicker. Mitch must be up to his old pranks.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHERUh, I’m sorry you must have the wrong class, this is Calculus.

Mitch looks up. Pretends to find where the voice came from.

MITCHYeah, I know. My name is Mitch. I’m probably not on the roster. I just transferred in.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER(yells as if he were deaf)

Oh, um...Yes of course. Please take your seat.

A bit frazzled, the teacher writes an equation on the board.

Mitch pulls a small knapsack with wires and gizmos from his backpack. Straps it to Taquito along with a bluetooth. He looks up at the open air duct above. Students watch in awe as Taquito is thrown into the ventilation system with a YIP!

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER (CONT’D)What was that?

MITCHUh, I have to let my dog out... To go to the bathroom...

INTERCUT CHUCK AND TAQUITO

43.

Chuck types on the keyboard.

CHUCKAnd...lights...camera...action.

The flashlight, camera and bluetooth on Taquito turn on. Chuck’s monitor now has visualization of the vent.

MORGAN(on mic.)

Okay, Taquito. Mush.

Taquito advances.

CHUCKThat vent lies directly above Naughts’ office. Have Taquito drop the transmitter there.

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Naughts sips coffee at his desk.

BACK TO INTERCUT

MORGAN(on mic.)

That’s far enough, Taquito. Stay.Good, now sit.

Taquito sits. Electronic BEEPS and BOOPS. A small bunny-ear-like gizmo falls from his knapsack onto a grated vent.

MORGAN (CONT’D)(on mic.)

Good boy! Now come on back.

Morgan and Chuck exchange celebration looks. Meanwhile, their monitor screen shows live feed of the camera spinning.

Taquito circles the vent.

MORGAN (CONT’D)Oh no.

CHUCKWhat? What’s going on? Does he not know how to get back?

Taquito squats to poop.

CHUCK (CONT’D)I thought you said he was trained!?

44.

MORGANWell, semi-trained... I knew those taffy treats were a bad idea.


Naughts smells something foul. Thinks it’s his coffee. Sets it down and examines his desk monitor. It displays a live feed of all the security cams.

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

A security cam beams down on the class. MRS. BRAMBLE (60’s), a chubby, awkward lady clumsily shuffles papers.

MRS. BRAMBLE...And I expect a full paper by the end of the day.

STUDENTS grumble.


Morgan suits up in a pizza delivery uniform.

CHUCKOkay, buddy. You’re up.

Morgan exits.

CHUCK (CONT’D)(on mic.)

Mitch. You ready?

EXT. SCHOOL WALLS - DAY

Mitch drops Taquito off and pauses below a window.

MITCH(on mic.)

On you.

INT. VAN/EXT. BAYVIEW HIGH

Chuck types on his computer.

CHUCK3,2,1... and Go.

INT. AIR DUCT - DAY

The bunny-ear-like gizmo turns on.

45.


Naughts’ monitor changes channels to a cartoon show.

He spills his coffee all over himself. Slaps the monitor. What’s the matter?

INT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

KNOCK at the door. Opens to reveal Morgan with a pizza box.

MORGANGood afternoon, ma’am. I believe you ordered a pizza. That’ll be $9.75.

MRS. BRAMBLE(very confused)

Uh, no, but I didn’t... Would somebody mind holding this?

Mrs. Bramble fumbles through her purse.

Jake retrieves it. Morgan mouths “underneath” to Jake and points at the pizza.

Jake opens the box at his desk. The pepperonis form a downward arrow. Underneath the pizza is an essay with his name on it. He is amazed. Looks over to the window to see Mitch waving.

Mrs. Bramble pays. Morgan needs to stall her longer.

MORGAN(to himself)

Go enormous, or go back to your place of residence.

MRS. BRAMBLEIs there anything else?

The window CREAKS as Jake lets Mitch in.

Morgan acts fast. Grabs Mrs. Bramble’s face and SMOOCH.

Mitch stops to watch in shock. Slightly disgusted. He takes Jake’s jacket and hat. Jake exits.

Mrs. Bramble stands there helpless. Morgan finally lets go.

MORGANThanks for the tip.

Mrs. Bramble stands in a daze. Morgan exits.

46.


Chuck types on his computer.

CHUCKThat ought to do it.


The monitor returns to its normal feed. Naughts eases up.


Morgan enters with Taquito.

CHUCKSo? How’d it go?

MORGANIt was fine.

CHUCKThat’s it? It was just “fine?” What happened to you being so ex--

MORGANI’d rather not talk about it... So, what now?

Morgan inconspicuously wipes lipstick from his face.

CHUCKUh, we wait.

INT. HALLWAY/EXT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - LATER

Casey hands Sarah a small mic.

CASEYAlright, now go do your flirty thing and slip this on his collar.

SARAHGot it.

Sarah enters with a cart of books. Naughts yawns.

SARAH (CONT’D)Tired?

NAUGHTSYou have no idea.

She notices his coffee stain.

47.

SARAHOh my goodness. What happened to your shirt?

She flirtatiously sits on his lap and dabs it with a napkin. He’s not having any of this. Pushes her off and fixes his tie.

NAUGHTSExcuse me! This is a school. ...Disgusting...

Sarah gives a curious look then exits.

SARAHCasey, he’s not taking the bait. I don’t think this is gonna work.

CASEYOf course it’ll work. I’ve seen you shake it for Bartowski, now ge--

SARAHNo, Casey. It’s not that.

She gives Casey a “you’re not going to like this” look.

CUT TO:

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

Casey enters. Changes out Naughts’ trash bag. Painfully chooses his next words.

CASEY...Tired?

CUT TO:

INT. VICE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - LATER

Casey face shows agony as he massages Naughts’ shoulders.

NAUGHTSYou have incredible hands.

Casey does everything he can not to strangle him. He slips the mic on his collar.


INTERCUT VAN AND OFFICE

Chuck’s monitor glitches and begins uploading.

48.

CHUCK...What’s going on?

MORGANI don’t know. We’re losing the footage. He must have some sort of backup disk.

CHUCK(panicked sarcasm)

Ya think?

Naughts’ monitor uploads earlier footage of the detention break out. He stops Casey to get a better look.

NAUGHTSWhat?... Oh no, McCool. Not this time.

Naughts boils with rage and dashes out.

CASEY(on mic)

Chuck, he found the recordings.

Chuck can’t stop the upload in time. Leans into the mic.

CHUCKMitch, get out of there.

INT. HALLWAY/EXT. DETENTION ROOM - DAY

Mitch exits. A piece of pizza hangs from his mouth. Naughts arrives in a fit.

MITCHHeeey, Sherm! Whoa, you should really get that stain out before it settles.

(off Naughts’ expression)Relax big guy. Grab yourself a slice of pizza. That’ll put a smile on your face.

Naughts grabs Mitch’s backpack. Opens it to reveal Jake’s hat and jacket. Grabs him by the collar and pulls him inside.

NAUGHTSMrs. Bramble! Are you aware that the wool has yet again been pulled over your eyes!?

49.


Chuck watches through the window. Speaks into the mic.

CHUCKSarah, now.


Sarah hits the school intercom button.

THE SCHOOL SPEAKERS IN THE HALLWAY

NAUGHTS (O.S.)You insignificant little prick! Did you really think you could get away with fooling me?

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY

Principal Graham stops writing to listen.

NAUGHTS (O.S.)I own this school! The only reason anything gets done is because of me!

INT. DETENTION ROOM -DAY

Naughts releases Mitch. Points to the security cam.

NAUGHTSDid you think that I was just going to let you waltz in here and pull another one of your little shows? Well think again, McCool. Smile. Because now I finally have the proof to expel your scrawny little--

CREAK. Jake climbs through the window.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)And you! You’ll be lucky if you ever see a football field again!

Naughts grabs him by the collar. Notices a wad of cash in his back pocket. Takes it and waves it in his face.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)What’s this? Looks like someone’s not just in it for the game!

Principal Graham bursts in to see Naughts with a student in one hand, money in the other.

50.

NAUGHTS (CONT’D)...Principal Graham?! This isn’t what it looks like.

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMOh no? Care to explain?

NAUGHTSBen. You don’t understand. These students have been running illegal bets right under your nose. I finally caught them in the act, and I have the proof to show you.

Naughts points at the security cam.

Chuck enters holding a ruined tape.

CHUCKYou mean this?

NAUGHTS(to Chuck)

You imbecile! You’re fired!

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMNow wait just a minute, Sherman. You’re running a fine line with this temper. I don’t know anything about this betting system--

NAUGHTSBut that’s just it! You don’t know anything that goes on in this school. Your just a fat, blubbering idiot!

PRINCIPAL GRAHAMNow hold it right there! I didn’t go through ten years of extended education just to be told off by some grease ball in a suit... I should have done this a long time ago.

(beat)You’re fired!

NAUGHTSFired am I! Oh, real original. Fine. I don’t need any proof. I have all the--

Naughts notices Jake’s essay on his desk. He rushes over. Flips a few pages. Pizza sauce on the last page.

51.

Grabs the pizza box. Flips it open. The pepperonis are assembled in a smiley face. Naughts boils with rage and YELLS.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Mitch counts a wad of cash. He smiles.

INT. CHUCK’S ROOM - NIGHT

Chuck and Mitch dress for the dance.

CHUCKI gotta be honest, I never even thought I’d make it to my own Homecoming.

MITCHWhy’s that?

CHUCKHa! Let’s just say I was no Mitch McCool.

MITCHAw, come on. It’s not about who you were back then. It’s about who you are now.

Chuck admires his wisdom.

CHUCKYou know, Mitch, there’s something I gotta ask, all these years you’ve been working for the CIA. I mean, your parents, don’t they have anything to say?

MITCH...Well, I guess I’m sort of a unique situation. You see my mom died when I was young and... my dad... well, that’s sort of a long story. I mean it’s not like I planned this... but I’ve never regretted it for a second. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s about laying my life down for something bigger.... Which, doesn’t make this any easier.... Chuck, do you think you could give this to General Beckman for me?

Mitch hands Chuck a folded envelope.

52.

CHUCKSure. What is it?

MITCH...It’s my letter of resignation.

(off Chuck’s look)I’d give it to her myself but, given the circumstances, I think she’ll understand.

Sarah walks in wearing a dress. She’s breathtaking.

SARAHSorry, I hope I’m not interrupting.Mitch, Jessica is waiting in the living room.

Mitch makes his way out.

SARAH (CONT’D)Something wrong?

CHUCKNo... in fact, you look absolutely stunning.

They exchange smiles. Sarah puts in Chuck’s boutonniere.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Ow, watch the pins.

INT. AUDITORIUM, BAYVIEW HIGH - NIGHT

Homecoming dance. Chuck notices Jeffster playing on stage.

CHUCKYou gotta be kidding me.

Casey walks up wearing his janitor uniform and a boutonniere.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Oh, you didn’t have to get all dressed up.

CASEYIn case you forgot, we’re still undercover. We only knocked out one Ring agent, there could be more-

A tap on Casey’s shoulder. Casey turns to see Helga.

HELGA(swedish accent)

You like dance, ya?

53.

CASEY...N--

She carries him off, legs dangling. He darts Chuck a look.

CHUCK(to Sarah)

Shall we?

They make their way to the dance floor.

CHUCK (CONT’D)Have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?

SARAHYou’re not so bad yourself.

They look at Mitch and Jessica.

CHUCKLook at them. That could of been us 10 years ago, had we gone to the same high school, and I was somewhat cooler.

SARAHI like things just the way they are.

CHUCKMe too.

Jessica grabs Sarah’s hand.

JESSICACome on, I have to go freshen up.

CHUCK(awkward to Mitch)

Uh, you wanna go freshen...

MITCH...sure.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Mitch washes his hands and face. Chuck is in the stall. Naughts enters with a crooked grin. Doesn’t notice Chuck.

NAUGHTSMr. McCool. This is a faculty bathroom only. You should know you’re not allowed in here.

54.

MITCH(plays it cool)

Oh hey, Sherman. Principal Graham give you your job back?

NAUGHTSI would appreciate it if you would address me as Vice Principal Naughts. I believe I’ve earned the title.

MITCHYeah, listen, that’s great, Sherm, but if you don’t mind, I have a dance to get to.

CLICK. Naughts pulls a gun on him.

NAUGHTSNot this time, McCool--

Chuck jumps on Naughts. BANG! The gun goes off.

INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Students disperse at the gun shot. Sarah and Casey make way.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Chuck and Naughts struggle. Naughts gets the upper hand and points his gun.

END OF ACT FOUR

55.

ACT FIVE

INT. GYM, BAYVIEW HIGH - NIGHT

Sarah and Casey rush through the empty gym.

SARAHCome on, we gotta find Chuck.

SHING! A cleaver flies past Sarah’s face and into the wall. Helga stands holding a set of knives. The buff P.E. TEACHER stands next to her holding a dodgeball. Battle!

INT. STUDY HALL - NIGHT

Chuck and Mitch sit before Naughts and the chalkboard.

NAUGHTSInteresting little sting operation you pulled off to day. To think you were CIA all along. And now I know who you really are. She nearly placed you in my hands.

CHUCKWho? What’s he talking about?

NAUGHTSAnd once I’m done with you. I’ll be putting the General out of commission for good.

MITCHShut up, Naughts! You stay away from her!

CHUCKMitch, what’s he talking about?

NAUGHTSYou mean you don’t know Mr. Carmichael. Or should I say, Bartowski.

Pai-Long enters. His eyes still fierce with what looks like red eye makeup. He takes off his gloves. They’re red too.

CHUCKYou! You were the one that broke into my house and attacked me.

Pai-Long hands Naughts the clay artifact. Naughts sticks it his computer like a thumb drive. The screen uploads information.

56.

CHUCK (CONT’D)(realization)

It’s a USB drive... That’s why I couldn’t flash on you! That’s why I couldn’t associate any of you guys to the Ring. You’ve been transferring information from the new intersect... Mitch, whatever you do, don’t look at the screen.

MITCHHey, Naughts, if you hadn’t noticed, all bets are against you.

Naughts turns to see the chalk board with all the bets. He grabs a stick of chalk, the one with the match in it. He drags it down the board. FOOM! It goes up in flames.

FLASH! Kung Fu symbols invade Chuck’s mind.

Chuck, Naughts, Mitch and Pai-Long duke it out. Pai-Long charges Chuck. He stops at the sound of his phone ringing. Jeff and Lester are calling. He angrily tosses it aside.

INT. GYM - NIGHT

Helga grabs for another knife, Sarah pulls the pins from Casey’s boutonniere, throws them at Helga. Jugular shot. The P.E. Teacher makes a break for the door. Casey nails him with a dodgeball. They give each other a look of relief.

INT. STUDY HALL - NIGHT

The room is ablaze. The fire alarm sounds. Emergency glass walls descend from the ceiling. Lock down. Mitch pushes Chuck out of the way. A glass wall comes down between them. They’re separated. Mitch is trapped inside.

The envelope falls from Chuck’s pocket. On the front it reads, “AUNT DIANE.” Chuck can’t believe his eyes. Mitch is the General’s nephew!

The fire continues to rage. Mitch looks at Chuck. Gives a half-hearted smile. He knows there is no escape. He turns back into the smoke and disappears.

CHUCKNoooo!

Casey and Sarah rush in to grab Chuck and carry him out.

Tim McGraw’s “If You’re Reading This” plays over the following scenes:

57.

INT. CAR/EXT. CEMETARY - DAY

Chuck pulls to the curb. His eyes are watery. Looks up to see a crowd of STUDENTS at Mitch’s funeral service.

Chuck looks at the envelope. He looks up to see a black car pull up in the distance. The back window rolls down to reveal General Beckman drying her tears. She keeps her distance. The window rolls up and the car pulls away.

EXT. PATIO/INT. CHUCK’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Chuck walks through the Patio. Commotion from inside his home. He enters in a daze. A crowd of people.

ELLIEChuck! There you are. Where’s Mitch?

CHUCKUh, couldn’t make it.

ELLIEOh, I’m sorry to hear that. You okay?

CHUCKYeah, no, I’m fine. I just need some fresh air, that’s all.

Morgan walks over to a disgruntled Jeff and Lester.

MORGANWhat’s wrong guys? Where’s the giant ball of silly putty?

LESTERTurns out the government really was after it, Grimes. A van full of suits showed up at the Buy-More. Said they needed it for Homeland Security reasons. If you ask me, I think there’s something else going on.

JEFFThey just couldn’t handle anyone else having a bigger putty ball.

For a moment, Morgan was worried they had connected the dots.

EXT. PATIO - NIGHT

Sarah catches up to Chuck.

58.

SARAHChuck. Wait up. You okay?

CHUCKNo, Sarah, I’m not. Mitch is dead. And now, it’s like everything that I thought I wanted...

SARAHIt’s not your fault. Nobody knew he was Beckman’s nephew. Mitch died serving his country. That’s a noble cause.

CHUCKSarah, he was 17. I mean this...

Chuck pulls out the envelope.

CHUCK (CONT’D)...this, was his letter of resignation. He was planning on quitting. Being a normal kid, with a normal life.

SARAHWhat are you saying?

CHUCKI’m saying I don’t think I want to do this anymore. When I was a kid, I had dreams too. And maybe I’d rather live to see my children than die before I’ve really lived at all. I’m sorry, Sarah, I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

Chuck turns to leave. Sarah is crushed.

INT. CHUCK’S ROOM - NIGHT

Chuck slumps in front of his computer. He places the envelope on his desk. A PICTURE slides out. It shows Mitch, General Beckman, and a distinguished older gentleman. Chuck takes a better look at the man in the photograph.

FLASH! A series of images. THE INTERSECT - THE PENTAGON - CLASSIFIED RING DOCUMENTATION - GENERAL BECKMAN!

CHUCK...General Beckman?

END OF EPISODE

59.

"chuck" spec

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