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CFC SINGLES FOR CHRIST Stage 1 Formation

Christian Character Weekend

Manual v.2014

Christian Character Weekend Stage1 Formation

Introduction: “Good habits are not made on birthdays, nor Christian character at the new year. The workshop of character is everyday life. The uneventful and commonplace hour is where the battle is lost or

won.” - Maltbie D. Babcock

When we talk about Christian character, a lot of things come to mind. As the quote above says, “the workshop of character is everyday life.” Every day is an opportunity for the Lord to mold our character to become more and more like Christ’s. This manual and its contents will probably be able to “scratch just the tip of the iceberg” of Christian character. This retreat will focus mainly on the following as essential in developing Christian character: our emotions guided by the Holy Spirit, our will submitted to the Father and our heart attuned to Christ.

Although the sessions are jam-packed to help each SFC member see how God wants to mold him or her

as a Christian, it is inevitably each participant’s personal response to Christ’s call that will determine his or her character as a Christian.

Therefore, the SFC Chapter Leaders or any other SFC leader tapped to take lead of this retreat should make sure that the participants have every opportunity to hear God’s message to them. The logistics (is the venue conducive, quiet enough for reflection, etc.) and program (particularly speakers, sharers if any, reflection songs, etc) are especially important as well.

Ultimately though, everything surrendered to God will bear great fruit.

Goals of the CCW:

1. Equip participants with the knowledge of what is required to have the character of Christ: our emotions guided by the Holy Spirit, a will submitted to the Father, and a heart attuned to Jesus.

2. Move the participants to desire to have the character of Christ and commit themselves to working towards this in their life.

Dynamics: The Christian Character Weekend Retreat consists of seven (7) sessions beginning with a short prologue which gives the participants a picture of what will be taken up in the retreat.


The talks focus on three (3) aspects of our Christian character:

1. Emotions guided by the Holy Spirit (Talk 1). 2. A will submitted to the Father, which calls for our humility (Talk 2) to want to do God’s will in our

lives and courage (Talk 3) to abandon our fears which may be inhibiting us from surrendering to

His will; use anger in a righteous manner (Talk 4) and surrender (Talk 5). 3. A heart attuned to Christ (Talk 6).

The talks are as follows:

Prologue: The Character of a Christian Talk 1: Our Emotions and our Character Talk 2: The Character of Humility Talk 3: The Character of Courage Talk 4: Righteous and Unrighteous Anger Talk 5: The Character of Surrender Talk 6: A Heart Attuned to Christ

Some of the talks are followed by periods of silent reflection and journaling. A few begin with short group activities related to the topic to be discussed.

Confession is highly recommended as part of the retreat. This follows immediately after Talk 4 (see suggested schedule).

The participants and service team are urged to maintain an atmosphere of prayerfulness, openness, and reflection during the retreat. It is the retreat leader’s and service team’s role to help the participants be silent when needed and speak out when necessary.

Preparation:

Similar to the other pastoral formation activities of our community, it is highly recommended that this weekend retreat be prepared for properly and prayerfully. The top leaders and team leader serving in this retreat should read this manual, especially the talk outlines, thoroughly.

Speakers must also be discerned prayerfully and familiarize themselves not just with their own respective talks, but with those of others as well.

As with all SFC activities, spiritual preparation is necessary, more so because this is a retreat that aims to reveal truths that all singles should know when it comes to their character as Christians.


Schedule:

Two (2) suggested scheduling options are given below:

Option A: 3-Day Retreat Schedule (Friday evening to Sunday lunch)

I. Day 1: Friday Evening Time Activity

6:00 PM Arrival and Registration 7:00 Dinner and Recreation

8:00 Gathering and Evening Prayer 8:30 Orientation and PROLOGUE: THE CHARACTER OF A CHRISTIAN 9:00 Reflection & Journaling

10:00 Lights Out!

II. Day 2: Saturday

Time Activity 6:00 AM Wash-up and Personal Prayer Time

7:00 Breakfast 8:00 Teaching of Songs 8:15 Morning Prayer

8:30 Group Activity

9:00 Talk 1: OUR EMOTIONS AND OUR CHARACTER 9:45 Reflection & Journaling

10:15 Snacks

10:30 Talk 2: THE CHARACTER OF HUMILITY 11:15 Reflection & Journaling

12:00 Lunch/Rest 1:00 PM Teaching of songs & Afternoon Prayer 1:30 TALK 3: THE CHARACTER OF COURAGE

2:15 Reflection & Journaling 2:45 TALK 4: RIGHTEOUS & UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER

3:30 Reflection & Journaling 4:00 Snacks

4:30 Confession 6:00 Lord’s Day Preparations


6:30 Lord’s Day and Supper 7:45 Gathering & Teaching of Songs 8:00 TALK 5: THE CHARACTER OF SURRENDER

Healing 9:30 Sharing (optional) 10:00 Lights Out!

III. Day 3: Sunday Morning

Time Activity 6:00 AM Wash-up and Personal Prayer Time

6:30 Preparation for Holy Eucharist 7:00 Holy Eucharist

8:00 Breakfast 8:30 Gathering & Teaching of Songs

9:00 Morning Prayer

9:15 TALK 6: A HEART ATTUNED TO CHRIST 10:00 Sharing

10:30 Praise fest 12:00 Lunch, Pack-up and Go!

Option B: 2-Day Schedule (Saturday morning to Sunday lunch)

I. Day 1: Saturday

Time Activity

7:00 AM Arrival and Registration 8:00 Teaching of songs 8:15 Morning Prayer 8:30 Orientation and PROLOGUE: THE CHARACTER OF A CHRISTIAN 9:00 Snacks 9:15 Group Activity 9:45 Talk 1: OUR EMOTIONS AND OUR CHARACTER 10:30 Reflection & Journaling 11:00 Talk 2: THE CHARACTER OF HUMILITY 11:45 Reflection & Journaling 12:15 Lunch/Rest 1:00 PM Teaching of songs & Afternoon Prayer


1:30 TALK 3: THE CHARACTER OF COURAGE 2:15 Reflection & Journaling 2:45 TALK 4: RIGHTEOUS & UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER 3:30 Reflection & Journaling 4:00 Snacks 4:30 Confession 6:00 Lord’s Day Preparations 6:30 Lord’s Day and Supper 7:45 Gathering & Teaching of Songs 8:00 TALK 5: THE CHARACTER OF SURRENDER

Healing 9:30 Sharing (optional) 10:00 Lights Out!

II. Day 2: Sunday Morning Time Activity

6:00 AM Wash-up and Personal Prayer Time 6:30 Preparation for Holy Eucharist 7:00 Holy Eucharist 8:00 Breakfast 8:30 Gathering & Teaching of Songs 9:00 Morning Prayer 9:15 TALK 6: A HEART ATTUNED TO CHRIST 10:00 Sharing 10:30 Praise fest 12:00 Lunch, Pack-up and Go!

Feedback and Documentation:

This manual aims to be a GUIDE to all SFC Chapter Leaders and up, both locally and internationally. Like

all things that are part of God’s community, this manual is a work in progress. Thus, any suggestions and comments as to how to improve this Weekend are most welcome. Please feel free to email your

comments to [email protected] .

Thank you and may our Lord, who is our model and example of true Christian character, guide us in all

our endeavors to win every single man and woman for His Kingdom! God bless us all!

mailto:[email protected]


PROLOGUE: THE CHARACTER OF A CHRISTIAN

Objectives: 1. Give an overview of the talks in this retreat and how these relate to character. 2. Encourage the participants to be open to learning about how to allow God to form their character.

Key Messages: 1. As Christians, we are called to be Christ to others. 2. For our character to be Christ-like, we need to submit our will to the Father, allow the Holy Spirit to

guide our emotions, and be attuned to the heart of Christ.

Tenor: Exhorting participants to openness; Preparing the hearts of the participants for the rest of the talks in the retreat.

Speaker’s Profile: An SFC leader who portrays true Christian character in all aspects of his/her life; ideally, the retreat team leader.

Expanded Outline:

I. Introduction: What is Character?

The character of a person is defined by many things. According to one online definition, character is “the complex of mental and ethical traits marking a person.” Another says, “Our character is who we are even when no one is watching.” Our character is what others will see when they interact with us or observe us. It is also what we know we are when we are alone.


Because we are sons and daughters of God, we must reflect His image. If we are to draw others to Christ and let “every single man and woman all over the world experience Christ,” they must see Christ in us. This is the kind of character we want strive for—one that is Christ-like.

Christian character requires three important things:

A. Our emotions guided by the Holy Spirit

- The way we handle our emotions reflects our character, for this is what others directly

experience as they relate to us. - We cannot be Christ-like if we are unable to handle our emotions well.

B. Our will submitted to the Father

- If our character is to be shaped by God, we must allow Him to mold us. We must desire

what He wants for us more than what we want for ourselves.

C. A heart attuned to Christ

- Being intimately connected to Christ allows us to follow Him more closely and imitate Him.

The talks of this retreat will touch on relevant aspects of these three areas.

II. Emotions Guided by the Holy Spirit (Talk 1: Our Emotions and Our Character)

Taking on the character of Christ means allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us, especially in the area of our emotions. How do we reflect the image of God in the way we think, speak, act, and make decisions? This is very important as this is what forms our character. We need to learn to be masters of our emotions and not the other way around.

III. Submitting Our Will to the Father

In this retreat, we will learn to unite our will to God’s will by:


A. Taking on the posture of humility (Talk 2: The Character of Humility)

- One of the things that inhibit us from submitting our will to God’s is our pride. We need to take on the posture of humility and trust in Him.

- Humility allows us to recognize who we are before God—His creatures—so that we can surrender our will to His in complete confidence and trust.

B. Surrendering our fears to God (Talk 3: The Character of Courage)

- Our fears inhibit us from surrendering to God’s will because we are afraid to get hurt, we

are uncertain of what it will bring, we think we are alone, we feel we are not capable, we think we are unworthy because of our sins, we are not sure what it will bring us or if we even know God’s will for us.

C. Anger (Talk 4: Righteous and Unrighteous Anger)

- This includes in a special way, handling our anger. Much of our struggle with anger is caused

by emotions gone haywire. The Holy Spirit guides us in using our anger to fight against injustice, oppression, and things that are not of God, and to control how we express our anger so that it does not destroy our relationships with one another.

D. Surrender and Inner Healing (Talk 5: The Character of Surrender)

- Taking on the character of Christ involves allowing the Holy Trinity to touch all those areas

of our lives that may be inhibiting us from loving as Jesus loves. We ask God for the grace to see His love in all our experiences of the past that we may have the courage to hand over to Him even our present and future.

- Surrendering our will can be a major challenge especially for strong-willed persons but as long as our will is in accordance to God’s, we can’t go wrong. God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control (2 Tim 1:7).

IV. A Heart Attuned to Christ (Talk 6: A Heart Attuned to Christ)

• Our goal is for our character to reflect Christ, that we may be Christ to others. • Surrendering our will is the first step. • Relying on the Holy Spirit to guide our emotions is the next step. • Attuning our hearts to Christ completes this. We will learn more about this in the last talk.


V. Conclusion

• We unite ourselves with the Holy Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—that we may be Christ to others.

• We open ourselves to be touched by the Trinity in this retreat and allow God to challenge us to

allow Him to mold our character.


TALK 1: OUR EMOTIONS AND OUR CHARACTER

Objectives: 1. Communicate the role of emotions in a Christian’s life, and how emotions can affect one’s

character. 2. Help participants learn how to handle their emotions so that these support their Christian life.

Key Messages: 1. Emotions should support us in righteous living. 2. We have a choice as to whether we will react or respond to a situation.

3. We need the Holy Spirit to guide our emotions and mold our character.

Tenor: Eye-opening, inspiring one to conquer one’s emotions with God’s help.

Speaker’s Profile: An SFC leader who has credibility when talking about mastering one’s emotions, who portrays true Christian character in the different aspects of his/her life.

Expanded Outline:

I. Activity: (Speaker may use this activity to introduce the talk.)

Materials Needed:

Old newspaper (at least 6 pages per group) Masking tape (at least 12 inches of tape per group)


1. Group participants into 3 groups. Assign a facilitator for each group. 2. All groups will be tasked with the same objective: build the longest and strongest bridge using

only the materials given within 10 minutes.

3. Assign a leader in the group who is NOT a facilitator.

4. What the group members do not know is that each facilitator will be given one of the following roles to play while they are part of the activity – a) to object and argue with all the members all the time; b) to act confused all the time about the instructions but be very apologetic (in other words, act nice but dumb); c) to keep asking what he/she should do but do exactly the opposite of what is being told for him/her. It is CRUCIAL that the facilitators exaggerate their roles and not be shy about acting out the roles.

5. Other service team members shall act as observers. 6. Speaker to give out the instructions for the entire activity and will partially process the

activity. After the activity, the Speaker will reveal to the entire group that the facilitators have been only role-playing. Then he may draw out what the members felt as they were doing the activity and how they reacted and responded to the “difficult” facilitator.

II. Introduction Emotions have a lot to do with character. The way we handle and express our emotions tells a lot about what we are like and how much we have imbibed Christian virtues that are meant to make us more Christ-like. They show whether we are impulsive or possessing self-control, uncharitable or loving, easily angered or patient, difficult to please or cheerful. The way we handle our emotions affects our relationships with other people. This is what others directly experience in their dealings with us. It is difficult to reflect Christ to others if we are slaves to our emotions.

III. Definition of Emotions

One online dictionary defines emotion as: “a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body.” It is clear from this definition that our emotions can affect others (because they are directed


towards something/someone) and so must be handled properly and under our control. Otherwise, they could hurt others and possibly even ourselves (because they are accompanied by physiological reactions as well, e.g., increase in blood pressure, increase in heart rate, etc.) Another definition describes emotions as arising “spontaneously rather than through conscious effort”. Thus, it may be a challenge at times to control them, as they are our natural reactions to people, situations, or events. Emotions or feelings are important, but we should not let them be the sole basis of our decisions and actions. Otherwise they can take charge of our lives and lead to serious problems.

Examples: ANGRY - will not attend meeting UNHAPPY - will not celebrate event of objective significance AFRAID - will not move on in personal relationships

We should never make decisions when we are highly emotional about something.

IV. Two Wrong Attitudes held about Emotions

A. Emotions, especially negative ones, are our ENEMIES. Anger, anxiety, guilt, grief, fear, etc., are destructive and so must be avoided.

1. Because we consider emotions as bad, we ignore or deny them (repression/suppression).

We may even exercise stern discipline to control an emotion. - We are sad about something and we deny it by drinking or eating. - We feel angry and we just walk out and do not say anything. - Or we may show no reaction at all, denying that the feeling exists, e.g., we are grieving

but do not show emotion and act unaffected.

2. We may engage in behavior that expresses the exact opposite feeling.

- E.g., hiding our sadness by joking around or making people laugh - Partying and getting drunk because we are feeling sad

3. Denying or avoiding our emotions prevents us from dealing with them or addressing

situations that led to these emotions.


- E.g., if we keep denying that we are angry with someone, then we are not able to

reconcile with the person who made us angry

4. None of the above truly work. At best, they can only bring temporary relief. Eventually, they

result in depression, frustration, etc.

- Rather than deny what we feel, we need to be in touch with how we feel so we can respond to them properly.

B. Emotions are our MASTERS. 1. We must follow emotions wherever they lead. We allow our emotions to rule over us. We

dwell on our feelings. - If we are sad, we focus on our feelings and feel miserable. - If we are angry, we let out our anger regardless of the people we hurt. (What matters is I

release my emotions.)

Sometimes we feel trapped by our emotions, unable to express how we feel, and other times we feel out of control and unable to keep our feelings inside. We say and do things because of our emotions that later we wish we could take back. Our emotions are complicated and definitely difficult to control.

There are many things you can feel like doing but that are not actually good for you.

- You may feel like stealing something but this does not mean that it is the right thing to do.

- Relying on feelings alone to make decisions may move you to engage in sinful acts like premarital sex or pornography.

- You may feel like quarreling with and beating up someone, but this is not necessarily the best thing to do.

2. Something is wrong with the notion that emotions should run our lives. Our emotions do not always guide us well.

3. Allowing our emotions to rule us can lead to selfishness and wrongdoing.

- Christianity is OTHER-DIRECTED. The emotions-in-charge approach leads to the opposite direction.

- Emotions that are allowed to rule can push us to wrongdoing (e.g., uncontrolled anger can


lead to violence, feelings of sexual attraction can lead to fornication).

4. Allowing negative feelings to control us may hinder us from fully experiencing God’s purpose for the events that happen in our lives. - The feeling of anxiety, for example, may move you to become worrisome for the future,

thus immobilizing you from doing your best in the present. Or it may move you to make a wrong decision.

V. The Right Attitude towards Emotions

A. Basic truth: Emotions are God-given and are good. They are designed for our benefit. Each emotion has a purpose.

1. Emotions work by agitating us. They motivate us to action. Some examples:

Anger - fight for justice Joy - celebrate Fear - avoid danger

- Anger is good because there are valid reasons to be angry (oppression, injustice, etc.) - Sadness can be good because it can lead us to sympathize with another person.

2. Jesus showed a whole range of emotions. Paul also.

- Jesus expressing emotions: Luke 22:15; John 11:35, 38; Luke 10:21; Mark 1:41-42; Mark

3:5; Mark 14:33-34 - Paul expresses strong emotions: Philippians 1:8; 1 Thessalonians 2:17

3. Emotions, therefore, are basically good. They are valuable assets for daily life.

B. Distinguish between a REACTION to a given situation and a RESPONSE to that situation. 1. An emotional reaction refers to the inner movements we experience when a feeling stirs in

us. Our response is what we do or say under the influence of the reaction.

- When insulted, our reaction is to feel angry. Our response may be to hit the other person, to hurl an insult back at the offender, to confront him in a civil manner, or to keep quiet.


- When we lose someone, our reaction would be to grieve and feel sad. Our response may be to fall into depression and hopelessness, cry, or move on.

- Hurt – either to hold a grudge or to forgive.

2. Emotions are primarily reactions. Reactions do not necessarily have to rule our decisions. 3. We can handle the situation according to our reaction or decide this is not the right response

and handle it in a different way. We have a choice.

C. Awareness is key in knowing how to handle our emotions.

1. Know how we are feeling not only on the surface but also deeper, beneath the surface.

- For example, a person may be feeling depressed about the death of a loved one but beneath all the feelings of sadness, he/she may actually be feeling angry about being left to care for the family.

- Acknowledging and dealing with the anger first may be an important step to take in order to handle the feelings of depression.

D. Emotions should be our servants. They should support us in righteous living. They should lead us closer to God.

VI. The Four Elements in Establishing Headship over our Emotions

A. Do the RIGHT and LOVING response in every situation.

1. Pattern our lives on God’s standards. Follow this objective standard, no matter how we feel.

Ask: How would Christ respond here? WWJD (What would Jesus do?)?

• Read Galatians 5:19-21a, 22-23.

• Difficult and so we pray for guidance and call on the Holy Spirit.

• Be aware as well that it could be the evil one who might be feeding on our negative emotions; we cast and bind.

2. Our emotions will follow and come into line.

• You were late for your household meeting. This irritated you because it was a


brother who caused you to be late. You chose, however, to just worship the Lord during the meeting. You begin to thank God and see possible reasons for your brother being late.

B. Aggressively exercise authority as a son or daughter of God to bring order into our emotional life.

We are under new management. We have already received the Spirit.

1. We do not forget our identity: that we are sons and daughters of God and that we have been redeemed.

2. Put to death within us what works against the Lord. (Galatians 5:16, 24)

C. Develop a set of strong, committed relationships as the context for personal Christian living.

1. This helps keep our attention away from how we feel to how we will treat others. 2. Surround ourselves with people who will:

a. support us in our struggle to respond positively to our emotions b. model good Christian behavior to us

3. This will develop into a structure of positive and supportive relationships. 4. Stay away from “gossip groups” or people who fill fuel our anger. When angry, seek the

advice of someone who is objective and who will help us see the big picture rather than encourage our anger.

D. Yield more fully to the Holy Spirit and expect Him to transform us and our feelings.

1. Emotions are gifts from God.

2. Changes come relatively unnoticed, more the consequence of our relationship with Christ than the result of deliberate steps we take.

• The closer we are to Christ, the more natural it will be for us to act according to how

Jesus would.

VII. Emotions Guided by the Holy Spirit


We do have the choice as to how to handle our emotions, to simply react, or to respond. The devil will always deceive us to believe that we cannot overcome our feelings; that we will always be under the control of our emotions. God has already given you the power which can overcome all the negative things that comes your way. We need to depend on the power of the Holy Spirit.

For many it is a major struggle to control their emotions, but God has not given us the spirit of fear, but the spirit of self-control. You have the power of God in you. In 2 Tim 1:7 St. Paul tells us that God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but the Spirit of power and love and self-control. We need to call on the Holy Spirit to not only guide us with our emotions but also to mold us so that our character may be forged with the virtues we need to handle our emotions:

• Prudence – helps us express our emotions in the right way at the right time, in a way that will

not harm others. • Justice – helps us express our emotions in a way that will not take away or diminish a person’s

dignity. • Fortitude – helps us exercise restraint over our emotions even when it is difficult, especially

when they could cause us to hurt others. • Temperance – helps us not to act on instinct or impulse and always within the right limits.

Grace is needed so that we may persevere as the Holy Spirit forms us, even when it is the more difficult thing to do. Ask the Holy Spirit for this grace. The Holy Spirit empowers us to use our emotions as they were created by God—to guide us in our actions and in our relationships with others. Our emotions then can be used as powerful tools to give the glory back to the Lord!

VIII. Conclusion

One thing for certain about our emotions: We all have them and they are here to stay. We can either lie about them or ignore them, or we can establish headship over them through the power of the Holy Spirit.

In this way, we are able to use our feelings to bring out the best in our character and to move us to love God and others more.


TALK 2: THE CHARACTER OF HUMILITY

Objectives: 1. Communicate the meaning of true Christian humility. 2. Help the participants see themselves as God’s children – blessed to bless others. 3. Inspire the participants to take on a grateful posture of humility.

Key Messages: 1. True humility lies in recognizing our worth in the eyes of the Lord and putting ourselves at the

service of others. 2. We have our greatest example of humility in Jesus, who through His perfect example of

servant hood and suffering and dying on the cross, has redeemed all mankind.

Tenor: Reflective, allows participants to see themselves the way God sees them and inspires them to have a servant’s heart.

Speaker’s Profile: An SFC leader who shows exemplary humility in his/her service. He/she should be comfortable with his/her self-image.

Expanded Outline:

I. Introduction

A. Allowing God to form our character requires that we be willing to submit to His will, to allow His will to take precedence over our own. Oftentimes, we refuse or have difficulty doing this because:


1. We think we know what’s best for us and we are unwilling to trust God completely. 2. We find it hard to believe that God actually has beautiful and grand plans for us. 3. We are afraid of what it will entail and how our lives might turn out if we did so.

B. In all these, humility is important. Building up on the character of humility is needed that we might:

1. Seek to do God’s will even if that may be the more difficult path or “not according to our plans.”

2. Believe that God has a plan for us despite our unfaithfulness and sinfulness. 3. Trust that God will be with us to sustain us through whatever difficulties we might encounter

when we choose to do His will.

C. What is humility?

The Catholic Encyclopedia defines it as "a quality by which a person considering his own defects has a lowly opinion of himself and willingly submits himself to God and to others for God’s sake."

D. Read Philippians 2:1-4.

“If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing. Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but [also] everyone for those of others.” (NAB)

1. Important elements of community life: love, unity, service (Philippians 2:2, 4) 2. The key to establishing these elements is humility. (Philippians 2:3) 3. However, there exists a common misunderstanding of this teaching on humility.

II. False Humility

A. Humility is not:

1. Denying the gifts and graces given to us by God, for we have all been blessed by God with both supernatural graces and natural gifts and talents.

2. Considering everyone better than ourselves, as though one’s gifts from God do not matter at all.


3. Having low self-esteem and feeling bad about our self.

B. The problem with this approach is:

1. We don’t actually believe ourselves to be such a wretched person. 2. We see people who are obviously not better than us. 3. We waste too much time comparing ourselves with others.

C. False humility may lead to emotional problems: lack of self-respect, self-worth and self-confidence.

1. Often this is the root of certain problems such as weight problems (e.g., when anxious or sad, one eats a lot), personality conflicts, sexual problems, etc.

2. Some manifestations of the emotional problems caused by false humility:

a. aggressive striving for approval (oftentimes, saying “yes” to certain things even if one is already overburdened, or even if one knows it is wrong, etc.)

b. depression; self-pity c. defensiveness; difficulty in receiving correction d. inability to receive praise and encouragement e. self-condemnation

III. True Humility

A. “Having a lowly opinion of self” means:

1. Acknowledging our own faults and weaknesses as well as the gifts God has given us. (Romans

12:3) “For by the grace given unto me I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than one ought to think, but to think soberly, each according to the measure of faith that God has apportioned.” (NAB)

a. To hold an opinion of ourselves based on “sober” judgment. b. To think about ourselves accurately and truthfully. Don’t yield to unreasonable influences

or unjustified extremes. Go back to the basic truth i.e. that we are the children of God. c. We can fail to view ourselves with “sober judgment” in two different ways:

• grand self-opinion; • depression


2. Acknowledging that others are also blessed by God with special gifts and talents. 3. Considering others as more important than ourselves. 4. Entrusting ourselves and our lives completely to God who is greater than we are. 5. Putting ourselves in the service of others to glorify God.

B. What is the truth about us?

1. Neither of the two extremes: being prideful and self-condemning.

2. Two basic truths:

a. God loves and values us. (Ephesians 1:4; Genesis 1:26; Psalms 8) • We are creatures created in God’s own image and likeness. • We have been redeemed and made a part of God’s people. • Each of us has gifts and abilities to be used to serve God and brethren.

b. We are dependent creatures. • We rely upon God for everything. • Only God’s resources of wisdom and power can genuinely change lives. • Everything that we have is a gift from God.

C. True Christian humility asks that we put ourselves in the service of others. It is to be at the

disposal of our brothers and sisters. Thus the truly humble man is one who is willing to take the lowest position, that of a servant.

The opposites of humility: RIVALRY (selfishness) and CONCEIT. 1. Rivalry or selfishness - in Greek “eriqeia” (eritheia), is self-seeking or selfish ambition. It is

striving for position and power with personal aggrandizement as a primary motive.

2. Conceit or empty glory - is the acting out of a desire for one’s reputation so that others will admire, honor, and pay attention.

IV. Handling Problems

A. The desire for empty glory arises from two different sources:


1. Pride and ambition.

• Acknowledge that everything we have achieved is a blessing from God, out of His love for us.

• Seek God’s grace to help us turn away from pride and false humility.

2. Insecurity and feelings of low self-worth.

• Find security and confidence in God’s immense and unconditional love for us. He alone can give us a true sense of self-worth and restore our dignity.

• Be reminded of all the blessings we have received from God. • Seek help when needed.

B. Some practical suggestions for overcoming problems of self-image: 1. Acknowledge the problem. Recognize the disorder. Admit to ourselves that we need to

change and that we may need help.

2. Ask for forgiveness: • For believing lies about ourselves. • For yielding to self-pity or self-preoccupation. • For being proud or having an air of false humility.

3. Accept the truth about ourselves: “GOD LOVES ALL OF US. He thinks we are worthwhile.

Even if I was the only human being on this planet, He would still come down to earth, and die on the cross for me.”

4. Receive encouragement from our brothers and sisters in the Lord. Receive affection, love,

respect and personal support, as well as evaluation.

• We need to participate actively and openly in a set of supportive relationships in SFC and the whole CFC family. Believe, however, that God loves us even when no one acknowledges us or our achievements.

5. Be humble, i.e., focus not on the self but on serving others, putting them first. Do not

however, allow ourselves to become a “human doormat”. Ensure that all we do is done with dignity and honor and does not degrade ourselves or other people.

6. Be patient. Do not grow weary or disheartened if a problem does not go away quickly. There

is a need for all of us to grow in perseverance in such times. Look to the Saints for our


inspiration. St. Therese of Lisieux is one good example of a saint who was humble and truly used by God to lead others to Him.

7. Pray.

• Read Psalms 145:18-19. “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him, He hears their cry and saves them.” (NAB)

• Pray for confidence, strength and boldness. • Ask others to pray for us. • Fasting for our intentions is also highly recommended.

V. Conclusion

• Our Lord is the perfect model of true humility. (Philippians 2:5-11) • “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form

of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the

form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (RSV)

• Jesus, though He was God, became one of us, even lower than the angels, to serve and not to be

served. He was always secure in the truth that He was the Son of His most loving Father and so He sought to obey Him with love in everything.

• We too should do the same. We hold on to our identity as sons and daughters of God, who is

King, and who calls us to love and serve one another.

VI. Reflection

Answer the following questions in your journal: 1. Am I more prone to think too highly of myself or to degrade myself? How did I come to consider

myself this way? How does this affect the way I relate with God and with others?

2. What concrete steps can I take to make myself available to serve my family and my community?

Participants may share in small groups if time will permit.


TALK 3: THE CHARACTER OF COURAGE

Objectives: 1. Explain courage by revealing the nature of fear. 2. Help the participants realize their own personal fears. 3. Show Christian ways by which one can take on the character of courage to overcome one’s

fears.

Key Messages: 1. We are the children of God; therefore everything we experience and feel comes from Him. 2. Since we are His children, we need not be conquered by our fears; instead with His help, He will

make us see His perspective and allow us to be courageous.

3. We can practice courage by learning how to go and bow before God, and trust Him, just like Jesus did.

Tenor: Somber, leading the participants to assess their internal fears and exhorting them to take the steps needed to conquer these.

Speaker’s Profile: An SFC leader who has personally applied the “go, bow and trust” steps to be courageous amidst the fears in his/her life; one who is brave enough to go on mission for the Lord, anytime, anywhere, in any situation.

Expanded Outline:

I. Introduction

Courage is a character often desired but highly misunderstood by many. People think courage is the lack of fear but what it really is, is the ability to deal with fear by seeing things from God’s


perspective. In order to understand courage better, let us take a look at fear first. Fear, just like the other emotions, is a God-given emotion. It was intended by God to warn us and protect us. However, just like the other gifts, the evil one will also use it to work against God’s plan. The evil one uses fear to burden many of us such that we fail to actually use it for God’s glory or to see God’s love. Fear can make us DOUBT. It can make us ANXIOUS. Fear can leave us ANGUISHED.

II. What is Fear?

Generally, we can categorize our fears into two (2) types:

EXTERNAL FEARS – Usually caused by a specific event in our past, external fears are caused by something outside of us. This is when someone fears something specific like flying, spiders or the number 13. It is only triggered under specific instances when we encounter what it is that frightens us. Because of the trigger, these fears are easily recognized.

Most of these fears are caused by some traumatic event in the past. For instance, if we got bit by a spider at a young age, we might develop a phobia about them. Our experience taught us to avoid them.

INTERNAL FEARS – Like external fears, these fears are also triggered by events outside of us. However, internal fears are not specific to any circumstance and are due to internal emotions. This can make these fears difficult to recognize.

Internal fears manifest as fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, lack of self worth and doubt. Having a fear of failure can stop someone from starting their own business, asking a person out on a date or starting a new hobby.

All of these are different circumstances affected by one fear. Internal fears are dangerous because it can make us think that this fear is just who we are. If we fail to recognize them, these fears can really hold us back in life.

It is important to be able to overcome BOTH external and internal fears. But for this session, we will focus more on the internal fears because it affects:

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o our relationships - how we relate with others

o who we are and, o who we will become.

III. What Makes Us Fearful?

A. Past Hurts or Bad Experiences o “I got hurt. I don’t want to be hurt again” o Examples:

• We may be afraid to love again because our last relationship didn’t turn out well. • We are afraid to reveal our private life to someone because someone has betrayed

our trust. We have exposed ourselves during our weak moments and our friend did not value confidentiality.

• We are afraid to forgive because someone has repeatedly hurt you. • We are afraid to commit (to a relationship, to your career, to service) because we may

not know what commitment is all about since the people who should have taught us this, did not do a good job.

B. Uncertainty

o Fear of the unknown – If I do this, will I really succeed? If I go and work in this place, will I really be able to earn as much as I want to? Will God be able to provide for my needs? What if I get sick today? If I tell this person that I love him/her, will he/she love me back?

o Examples:

• We fear not being in control. We don’t like the possibility of failure or rejection. • We are afraid that things will not be enough and sufficient. • We are afraid because we are not certain how others will treat us. Will they accept

us or reject us? We keep thinking “How will others react to us?”

C. Feelings of Isolation

o We become afraid when we think that we are alone in this journey. We tend to think

“Nobody can and will understand me. I am on my own.”


o Examples: • If someone is single and i s working to support their family, we may be afraid that

our parents will love us less if we are not able to give money to them. • We are afraid that nobody can and will understand the deepest hurts and desires that

we have. • To compensate for our fear of facing life alone, we get drunk or take drugs or get

hooked on other vices. • For fear of losing someone, we give in to premarital sex.

D. Lack of Confidence o We are afraid when we do not believe in ourselves and our capabilities. o We may be afraid that we keep on hurting the people that we love despite our great love

for them. Then we start doubting if we truly have the capacity to love. o Because of lack of confidence:

• To compensate for our fear of not getting noticed, we dress to seduce or dress to impress, buying clothes and other items we cannot afford.

• To compensate for our fear of not being loved, we search for love in the wrong places. We settle for just anyone who gives us attention and do not seek God’s will for our love life.

• To compensate for our fear of not being noticed or valued, we invest on things that can enhance our physical beauty, like spending a lot of money on cosmetic items, plastic surgery, instant diet solutions – even foregoing our monthly tithe and love offerings for the Lord.

E. Sins and Feelings of Unworthiness

o Adam & Eve were given paradise and everything around them was beautiful. But because

they disobeyed God, Adam & Eve became afraid and hid from the Lord because they were naked. They knew that they had disobeyed God.

o Our sins keep us away from God and make us fearful that we are not worthy to be with Him.

o Examples:

• We are fearful that we will not go to heaven because of how we lived our lives. • We are afraid that we will fall into temptation again and give in to our weaknesses.


• We are afraid that the healing that God has given us will not last long. We are constantly haunted by our past sins.

• We are afraid that we will just fall back into our old habits. • We are fearful that the Lord will not forgive us.

F. Not Following God’s Will

o As singles who are busy with so many things, we are often tired to the point that we can’t hear His voice. Sadly, oftentimes this is because we are not familiar with His voice in the first place.

o And so we become afraid that we are not following His will but ours. We are afraid that we

will be punished, or that we will not be happy.

o And we become more afraid of the consequences of not being sure if we are following God.

IV. Some Results of Internal Fears

As a God-given emotion, fear is intended to protect someone from danger. A good outcome of fear is when you are driven to plan ahead in order to minimize risk, in which case, we prepare well and give our best. However, most of the time, fear results in things that are not good:

o Fear makes us avoid new things, thus we fail to experience growth.

- We don’t want to go out of our comfort zones because there’s a possibility that we’ll fail. As a result, we miss the opportunity to grow.

o Fear makes us insecure. Because of the past hurts inflicted on us, it makes us doubt the

love given by others. o Fear makes us anxious and worried especially about the things that are beyond our

control. o Fear makes us paralyzed and not able to move forward. Fear can actually make us

cowards.


(Here the speaker may invite sharers to give their experience regarding internal fears, and how God helped them to conquer these fears.)

V. The Character of Courage

All our fears have beginnings, trigger points, things that worsen them – to be courageous is not to wildly put them behind us just for the sake of overcoming them. Fear is not overcome for its own sake. It is overcome for the sake of something greater than that fear. And the only other emotion great enough to move us to put aside our fear is LOVE.

• (1 John 4:18) “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.” To be courageous

therefore is to see the perspective of God, to see the love behind the fear, and to act accordingly.

• Be like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane

- Jesus knew that He would be betrayed by one of His trusted disciples.

- Jesus was in anguish. He fell to the ground and was very sad and troubled. - Jesus was so afraid that He was actually sweating blood. (Scientific background of this:

Hematidrosis – severe anxiety causes one to release some chemicals that break down the capillaries of sweat glands)

- But Jesus took the time to see beyond his fear to realize what would happen if He allowed His fear to master Him. The thought of losing our salvation just because He was fearful was too much to bear for our Savior. He decided instead, to look at the perspective of the Heavenly Father, and thus derived courage to face His fears.

A. We GO to the Father first o Acknowledge the fears (be humble) o It is remarkable that Jesus, who could calm stormy seas with just one command,

was able to feel such fear. And we are humbled because He shared His fears with others, especially His Father in heaven. • However, unlike Jesus, we oftentimes tend to do the opposite. We gloss over our

fears and we try to cover them up because we feel it is the right way to being courageous as this hides our weaknesses and we are afraid to be called weak.

• Unlike us, Jesus did not mask His strength. Instead, He was very humble to ask for strength.

• 1st thing He did: JESUS WENT TO HIS FATHER FIRST. • The first one to hear about His fears was His Father. He could have gone to His


mother or to His disciples or even conducted a prayer assembly. But none of these were His priority.

In the same way, we should do as Jesus did: o Identify our fears and bring them all to God first. It is God’s way to pursue us and make us

feel that HIS love and presence are real. o Do not panic and do not mask the fears.

o Let us enter the ‘ Garden of Gethsemane’ just like Jesus. Do not be afraid because we

are not entering it alone. Jesus is there to meet with us.

o Seek the Father at all times • We seek His grace in the Sacrament of the Holy Mass and Confession. • We seek His strength in our daily prayer and scripture reading time and time before

the Blessed Sacrament.

B. We BOW before Him

o We bow when we submit to the Lord. We open our hearts to His love. • We don’t submit just to anyone. But we submit to our Father who loves us, who is

crazy about us. • We do not demand BUT we share our hearts, our fears to the Father. • Let us learn from Jesus – “Father, if You are willing, take away this cup of suffering…”

o We BOW when we acknowledge and believe that God’s perfect love casts away all fears.

• Imagine God in front of us right now saying, “I am your Father. And I love you with a perfect love.”

• He will never judge us.

o For each fear, go back to the real source of love and that is God Himself. • Others may have wronged us or failed us, but God’s love is perfect.

o We BOW when we obey and follow God’s will.

o We BOW when we align our hearts and minds with God and embrace God’s will.

• We BOW before Him when we stop resisting. It is when we constantly resist that it becomes a burden.


C. We TRUST Him and are CONFIDENT

o Just like Jesus in Gethsemane, we desire to follow God’s will. Jesus was not spared from

sufferings but He had a trusting and confident heart and still went through the journey to be nailed on the cross.

o And the ONLY way Jesus was able to be courageous enough to overcome His fear was

because He knew that His Father was with Him every inch of the way.

o The way to courage is believing that the Lord is with us. • There are at least 99 Bible passages that tell us: “Do not be afraid. I am with you.

You are mine. ”

o God DESIRES our best. o We are called to be courageous. BUT we are not called to be free from sufferings. It is

through our sufferings that we can be united with Jesus.

o Be confident that the Lord will give us the strength and the courage to deal with suffering.

VI. Conclusion

Courage lets us see beyond our fear which, if used properly and submitted to the Lord, is actually one of God’s finest gifts. Whenever we face the uncertainties of life, or the certainty of suffering and trials, there are three things we must always do: We go to Him. We bow before Him. We trust in Him. To be courageous, we remember always God’s loving promise to us: “I AM WITH YOU. Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by your name; you are mine….You are mine, O my child; I am your Father and I love you with a perfect love.”

VII. Activity

Reflect on the different areas of your life and try to identify your fears (if any) in these areas. Examine how these fears have affected your attitudes and behavior especially towards others.

How does God want you to deal with these areas? Fill out the chart below in your journal.


AREAS OF FEAR WRITE EXACT FEAR WHAT I’VE BECOME WHAT GOD WANTS Money Job Family Friends Relationships Afraid of getting hurt again Snob, holding back Express love, be loving Personal Others

Afterwards, the participants may spend some time in prayer to go to the Lord and tell Him their fears, bow before Him, and trust in Him. Participants can share their answers to one or two areas in small groups.


TALK 4: RIGHTEOUS AND UNRIGHTEOUS ANGER

Objectives: 1. Communicate clearly the nature of anger 2. Help participants learn when anger is righteous and how to use anger in the right way.

Key Messages: 1. Being angry in itself is not a sin, but it is how we deal with our anger that matters most. 2. We can use our anger in a righteous manner when it is directed towards wrongdoing and

expressed in the right way. 3. To help us overcome our unrighteous anger, we need to pray, seek emotional healing and put

our priorities in order.

Tenor: Reflective, but also hard-hitting; leading the participants to realize their own personal struggles with anger.

Speaker’s Profile: An SFC leader who has experienced God’s transforming power in this area of his/her life; who is able to deal with his/her anger in a righteous way, and uses his/her anger in a righteous way.

Expanded Outline:

I. Introduction

Being in control of our emotions includes in a special way dealing with our anger in a righteous manner. Indeed this is an emotion that many of us struggle with. Failure to do so often leads to broken relationships, hurt feelings, and resentment.

Anger is a reaction familiar to all.


1. Many open and clear manifestations of anger are: losing our temper, verbal abuse, violence. 2. Some hidden manifestations of anger are: irritability, negativity, resentment, depression. 3. The endless advice we get for dealing with anger are:

take a deep breath count one to ten punch a pillow scream avoid persons or situations that will lead to angry outbursts

II. What is anger?

A. Anger is a natural response to obstacles put in our way. It mobilizes us to overcome such obstacles or to get through a malfunctioning situation. Anger is a natural, God-given human response and it is useful in dealing with obstacles more effectively.

B. Scriptural teachings regarding anger:

1. The wrath of God, Jesus Christ, and St. Paul a. God Himself got angry and expressed it openly and with great forcefulness: Exodus 32:7-

10, Numbers 11:33, Isaiah 66:15 b. Jesus got angry: Mark 3:1-5, John 2:13-15, Matthew 23 c. Paul got angry: Galatians 1:6, 3:1, 4:21, 5:12

2. Thus, it is possible to get angry without sinning.

a. But, what about Colossians 3:5-8? Also Ephesians 4:31 and Galatians 5:20? These

scripture verses say one thing: “Put away all anger.” b. We need other scripture passages to help us understand the context of the verses written

against anger.

3. Scriptures do not tell us that anger is bad per se; they, however, caution us about anger and where it could lead us.

a. In Ephesians 4:26, Paul is not forbidding anger but is giving an admonition: Anger is

dangerous, handle it with care.


b. Proverbs 16:32, James 1:19. Govern the use of anger rather than avoid it altogether. A

person who easily flares up is a dangerous person and often this anger will not work towards the righteousness of God.

c. Matthew 5:21-22 says that anger can lead to hatred, violence and malice.

III. When is anger righteous?

Anger is righteous when it is directed against wrongdoing and when it is expressed under control – under God’s control!

A. It is righteous when its object is unrighteousness or injustice or sin.

1. Most of us get angry because we don’t get our way. Our anger is most often a selfish

response.

2. Anger is okay if it is directed against the wrongdoing; when it is aimed at the sinful situation, action, or behavior.

B. It is righteous if it is expressed the right way.

WRONG WAYS TO DEAL WITH ANGER: 1. Often our anger expresses rejection of another. The Lord wants us to get rid of this.

(Matthew 5:21-26)

- We can be mad at the sin without being mad at the sinner.

2. We must not repress our angry feelings. a. Some Christians feel that expressing anger is always sinful. Sometimes you can’t blame

them after reading Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:31. b. Some believe anger is wrong because it will cause a person to blow up eventually. c. Most of us do repress our anger because of fear of not being able to handle it or because

of guilt.


d. Often repression produces cold anger. • Hot anger: shout, throw things, etc. • Cold anger: withdrawal, cold shoulder treatment, you stop talking to that person,

dirty looks, etc. • Cold anger, though not as obviously wrong as hot anger, is worse because often the

other person we are angry with does not know how to handle the situation. Often he/she does not even know what went wrong.

3. Follow your feelings.

a. This method proclaims that we must express anger openly. We must be honest and

confront those who hurt us. b. But expressing anger fails to resolve our angry emotions. Worse, anger may increase

when indulged. c. Many times, expressing anger openly leads to grave emotional and spiritual problems;

e.g., rage, resentment, hostility, broken relationships and domination by evil spirits. d. This “cure” often worsens the disease.

RIGHT WAYS TO DEAL WITH ANGER

Anger is righteous if it is the loving response to a situation.

1. Check with God if our anger is righteous or not. - Only the Lord is judge of TRUTH in any situation. There is your truth and my truth. Ask

God to shed the light of truth upon our anger. Do it in prayer.

- Ask the Lord how to deal with the anger, ask Him to control our emotions and the other person’s. This is not repression; it is channeling our emotions through the Holy Spirit.

2. While in prayer, judge if our show of anger will be EFFECTIVE in revealing the wrongdoing or

sin area. - Will the person be able to understand or is he/she beyond understanding? Can it wait

until later so that the person is more attuned to listen? 3. Express anger in a way that will not take anything away from the person’s dignity and worth.


- Avoid hurtful words. - Be focused on the area of wrongdoing, not the person. - Wrong ways to express anger: meanness and sarcasm. - Right ways: patience, endurance and steadfastness, aggressiveness or the determination

to work toward a solution.

4. If unresolved even after our loving expression, do not STAY angry. - Pray for an opportunity to point out the wrongdoing in an effective way. - Pray for enlightenment for the wrongdoer. - Pray for the grace to receive God’s peace.

IV. Practical Advice

A. A strategy for handling anger: Eph 4:26.

“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.” 1. Do not repress anger (“Be angry.”). 2. Express it righteously (“Do not sin.”). 3. Settle things quickly (“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”). 4. Don’t let the devil in (“Do not leave room for the devil).

B. Some steps to take to handle disorderly anger, especially if it is a long standing problem which just cannot lead to a positive response.

1. Disorderly anger usually stems from an area in our lives that we are keeping from the Lord.

It is holding on tightly to things we desire.

- There is a need to surrender what we grasp to the Lord and to trust in Him.

2. Resentment is holding a grudge against someone or something that we believe has hurt us. - We need to repent from this kind of anger and put it completely away from our lives.

Ephesians 4:31-32. “All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting and reviling must be removed from you...” (NAB)

- Repair broken relationships by correction, forgiveness and forbearance.


- Actively guard our thoughts from whatever is evil or from dwelling too long on our hurts.

Philippians 4:8. “Think of what is good, honorable and lovely.”

3. Keep in mind that too much pressure can lead to irritability.

- For the overcommitted Christian who has a problem with anger, there is a need to reorder and reduce his priorities.

4. Fears and inhibitions prevent one from acting confidently and decisively.

- There is a need, therefore, to correct the emotional disorder giving rise to anger. - Ask help from Godly people to assist you in overcoming your condition.

V. Conclusion

A. Anger is a common emotion among all people, including Christians. It is actually a God-given emotion. It can be righteous. It can lead to Christian growth.

B. As in all other situations, call upon the power of the Holy Spirit. Ask for God’s grace to overcome

your anger so that He may use it for good.

VI. Silent Reflection/Journaling

Lead the participants to reflect in a prayerful atmosphere on the questions below. Begin by praying for the grace to be open and humble in admitting to oneself how our actions have affected others in a negative way.

Lord, I know I have not always handled my anger in a righteous way. As I expressed my angry feelings in outbursts and hurtful words, I know I have hurt those whom I love. I also know that my coldness and unwillingness to talk to others about what made me angry has affected my relationships and has caused and deepened my own hurts and the hurts of my loved ones. Lord, these are the people whom I have hurt: (have the participants answer the first question in their journal)


1. Who have been the victims of my cold or hot anger (see part on Wrong Ways to Deal with

Anger)? Is there anyone whom I find myself easily angry with?

Sometimes, Lord, I cannot seem to understand why I feel so angry or why I often feel angry with certain people. Where is my anger coming from, Lord? What emotions or past experiences is the devil stirring within me to move me to become angry or to harbor anger against someone dear to me? Could it be the hurts this person may have caused me? Could I be feeling jealous towards this person? Do I feel threatened by this person? In what ways?

2. Where does my anger seem to be coming from?

3. How do I think has my anger affected other people?

Spend some time in prayer and ask for the Lord’s help in dealing with your anger. Lift up to Him the sources of your anger (past hurts, jealousies, insecurities, etc.) and ask for His healing grace to touch these areas of your life. Write a letter to someone who has been affected by your anger. This is your opportunity now to use your words in a way that will uplift and build up this person. Commit yourself to take steps to reconcile with this person.


TALK 5: THE CHARACTER OF SURRENDER

Objectives: 1. Emphasize the importance of surrendering to God all things, including our emotions. 2. Emphasize that we need to see God’s love in order to heal; explain the ways for God’s love to

be revealed to us. 3. Lead the participants to pray for inner healing.

Key Messages: 1. We need to surrender our guilt, trauma, sins and hurts to the Lord. He alone can heal us

completely. 2. He heals us by revealing His love for us because our pain and circumstances have blinded us

of His love for us. 3. We can start our path to inner healing by repenting of our sins, forgiving ourselves and others,

prayers for inner healing, and seeking counseling if needed.

Tenor: The tone should be serious, leading the participants to deeper reflection and prayer, eventually leading them to surrendering their hurts and pains, as a start towards inner healing.

Speaker’s Profile: The speaker should be an SFC elder who has personally experienced inner healing in his or her life. He or she should be spiritually mature enough to be considered a “counselor” of sorts to the singles.

Expanded Outline:

I. Introduction

Allowing the Father to lead the way in our lives in all humility and trust (as we have heard in talks 1 and 2) and letting the Holy Spirit guide our emotions (talks 3 and 4) is not an easy task.


- Our pride may prompt us to question God’s will, or our fears may resurface and prevent

us from choosing God’s will instead of our own.

- We may fail to call upon the Holy Spirit for the grace to use our emotions to lead us to do what is pleasing to God. We forget that we have been empowered to live the life in the Spirit.

- This will make us fall more easily into sin of all kinds, and later we may realize that instead

of being Jesus Christ to others, we have brought even ourselves farther from Christ.

Jesus’ character was so significant in the fact that He was always obedient to the will of the Father and was operating in the Holy Spirit. He did this through the character of surrender.

II. What does Surrendering to God mean?

1. Surrendering to God is an act of worship. • On one hand surrender in the world connotes defeat. In Christian life, we realize it can be a

moment of triumph. We surrender to people and circumstances because we believe in the person and the purpose behind the circumstance.

• We surrender not because we have no choice but because we are choosing to trust in

God’s love for us. This is the highest honor we can afford God, to believe in His person and His purpose! This is worship at its finest!

• Ask God to change our viewpoint so that we can worship Him through a surrendered

spirit.

2. Surrendering to God is a sign of humility. • We need to acknowledge that we know nothing and that the Lord knows everything,

especially things we do not understand. • “As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and

my thoughts above your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9) • We know that giving ourselves over to God and offering no resistance makes it easier for

grace to come into our lives. “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. So submit yourselves to God.” (James 4:6)


3. Surrendering to God is life-changing and freeing.

• We know that God wants us to experience the BEST of Him. Job surrendered his painful

circumstances to the Lord and found himself having an even deeper understanding of the Lord’s love for and friendship with him. When the Lord brought back everything he had taken away from him, Job’s knowledge of the grace of the Lord was much fuller than before.

• We know the Lord wants us to share in His greatness and glory! Queen Esther surrendered

her people’s plight to the Lord and was raised up by her people and her husband the king! • We trust that the Lord only wants what is best for us, and that all His actions are for us.

Moses surrendered many times in leading the Israelites into the promised land and found the Lord saving His people at every turn in the most extraordinary ways.

4. Surrendering to God involves our mind, will, and emotions – in fact, every part of our body. • Romans 6:13 "Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness,

but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness."

• Realistically, this is difficult. We do not want to let go of things because we are fearful that

we will not get something better after. • We do not surrender because we have made our emotions and ideas our identity. We have

let these rule us forgetting that emotions and ideas are meant to merely guide us, never rule us.

• We still act like this life is our own, we act like we know better, and we act like we have

control over things around us. But it is simply not so. • We should not choose which parts of our lives should be surrendered to God, as every part

of us rightly belongs to Him.

5. Surrender requires grace. • That we will be able to surrender everything to the Lord requires His grace, for on our

own we will not be able to do so. Thus, as we desire to surrender to the Lord, we must also ask Him for the grace to be able to surrender.


III. Surrendering the Past Jesus’ character of surrender captures what we have been discussing the entire weekend. We need to surrender to the Lord our PAST, our PRESENT, and our FUTURE.

A. Our Past – give to the Lord all our hurts and scars from the past that may still prevent us from

moving forward in the present. (hurts from our lack of humility and courage, from our uncontrolled emotions, our anger, etc.). We must surrender to the Lord the hurts of our past:

1. Hurts from our relationships: (family, loved ones, friends)

• Broken relationships from the past may prevent us from giving of ourselves in our present relationships.

• Our hurtful experiences with parents or other family members may be causing us

to act in certain ways or be lured to certain sins. • Many of us may be suffering from scars or traumas or painful memories of

experiences we have encountered in the past. Unconsciously, these injuries are carried into our present lives and may become obstacles to positive and open relationships.

• Examples: - A sister whose father openly had extra-marital relations with several women may

find difficulty believing that she could marry a man who will not womanize. - A brother who has had several negative experiences with his extremely

dominant and dictatorial father may experience difficulty relating to persons of authority.

• Our hurts from the past may also be the reason why we find it difficult to be humble or

to let go of our fears; they may also be the cause of our anger and other uncontrolled emotions.

• Examples: - Hurts from a betrayal may make us fearful in trusting others - Having been compared to others all the time may cause us to look down on

ourselves or have false humility

2. Unforgiveness: • Not knowing full well how to heal properly from these wounds, there are times we


choose to simply not forgive or move on from them. We feel this is the best way to cope with the pain and hurt but we unknowingly allow these wounds to fester and hurt us more in the long run as we continue to re-live the pain in our minds and hearts from time to time.

• Unforgiveness prevents us from having true peace. Sometimes even the slightest

provocation can trigger deep-seated wounds and lead us to react with unreasonable anger or emotion.

3. Scars and memories of past sins:

• Sometimes our past sins continue to have a hold on us and we find it hard to even

forgive ourselves. (e.g., we may continue to carry guilt for unrighteous relationships, vices/ addictions from the past even after we have given them up)

• We fail to experience peace in our hearts, we may feel unworthy of love, or consider

ourselves as dirty or hopeless about our ability to change our ways.

4. Our past circumstances which we think have determined our future: (being born poor or fatherless, not receiving a good education, coming from a broken family, etc.) • The past may have shaped and influenced who we are today, but it is the actions we

take today that will affect our future • We learn to surrender our past to the Lord that we may move on to become who He

intends us to be.

WAYS TO HEAL FROM THE PAST

We have to be first clear about what we need to heal from. When we are hurt or feeling pain, it is only because, regardless of whatever may have triggered it – we feel the absence of God’s love for the moment. The people and the circumstances have obscured/hidden God’s love from our sight, and it is for this reason and this reason alone, that we feel HURT and PAIN. Real healing is to become fully aware of God’s love. No matter who or what caused the pain, the very second God’s love is revealed to us, the pain will begin to disappear – we will find ourselves being healed. Perfect love casts away fear, pain, anger, and any other negative emotions that we may have. Therefore the only way to proper healing, is to seek God’s love – from God Himself. God is the only source of our help and restoration.


There are certain particular steps to take to enable us to remove all that obscures His love from our sight:

1. Repentance.

• Repentance is the foundation for healing. There is no real freedom except when we

repent. • By removing pride from our hearts, we will experience that change of heart needed to

see from the Lord’s perspective. • It is not that God wants to point out how wrong we were, what He wants to point out

to us is how far we are from the beautiful life He has in store for us! He wants to take us back to the life He intends us to live. This is what we need to realize as we repent. It is in this context that the love of God is shown us.

• God moves through the power of repentance. It is said that when repentance is

activated, this movement totally cleanses and restores us.

2. Forgiveness.

• Let us forgive ours elves . Go to the Lord and let Him reveal how He sees all of us. If the Lord of the Universe can forgive us, we should too. Participate in the Sacrament of Confession and experience His mercy and love freely given anytime, every time.

• Forgive others. The difficulty to forgive is sometimes experienced especially if the hurt is

deep and well-nursed: do not rely on our own power, pray to Jesus for the power to forgive. Those who don’t forgive will never experience real freedom with the Lord.

• God asks us to forgive unconditionally. But, many times we say:

- Okay, I will forgive, but, he must admit he was wrong. - Okay, I will forgive, but, tell him not to show his face to me anymore - Okay, I will forgive, but, do not tell me to love him also.

• We forget that others’ actions may have been a result of their own experiences

of hurts and pains, from other people. They too have been blinded to God’s love and are in need of it to heal.

• Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision because God asks it of us. Only after we

have made this decision will the Lord grant us the grace to forgive; then will we be able to forgive easily.


• When we decide to forgive, we are deciding to reveal God’s love to others. This

opens us up to the grace of seeing His love as well. • Forgiving ourselves lets us experience the love of God that was hidden when we did not

want to believe He could still love us. Forgiving others makes us understand God’s love by making us see that nobody can fall beyond His love.

• Forgiveness opens our eyes to the love of God that is for all people, for all

circumstances and for all times.

3. Through counseling.

• There are times when it takes someone else to point out to us how God is loving us through the situation.

• We need to however, carefully select the people we go to for help and guidance.

If our purpose is to be able to see God’s love to receive healing we must make sure the people we go to are those who have a good personal relationship with the Lord. They will not be able to point Him out to us if they themselves do not know Him!

4. Through prayers for inner healing.

• Sometimes we experience that even after we have repented, forgiven and talked to

others, we still hurt, get fearful or angry. Somehow we have not yet overcome that feeling that came with the negative experience. This means, we still have not been able to fully recognize the love of God. We may pray for inner healing in cases like these when we cannot let go of the emotions that rule us.

• Coming to the Lord in order to see Him and experience His love should be the first and

repeated step to take for healing. • We believe that Jesus, who is the same yesterday, today and forever, can take the

memories of the past and: - heal them from the wounds that are still remaining and are still affecting our

present lives. - fill with His love all those areas in us that have been empty for so long, once

they have been drained of the poison of our past hurts and resentments. - once freed of past hurts and memories, grant us the ability to upbuild one another.

• We must allow new memories – that of Jesus’ love, to free us from the old memories

that haunt us.


• We strongly trust in the fact that Jesus wants to heal us and to show us His love for us:

Mark 1:40-41. - “Of course, I want to heal you.” Mattew 4: 23-24 - Jesus healed all kinds of diseases and sickness.

- His ministry was not limited to physical healing. Luke 22:31-34 - Christ prays for Peter that he may be strengthened.

• We need to be patient though, with God and ourselves. There are times when healing

will take longer, not because God wants His love hidden from us, but because we may not yet be properly disposed to really see His love. We may need to fully repent, not just in thought but in deed. Or perhaps we need to forgive completely.

• We take healing one step at a time. As we work towards inner healing, layer by layer,

we let the Lord reveal His love. Step by step, little by little, area by area, we receive God’s gift of healing, God’s love fully revealed to us.

IV. Surrendering our Present and our Future

A. Our Present (must be constantly inspired by the Holy Spirit) • If we are totally surrendered to the Lord, our present will be marked by

inspirations of the Holy Spirit. • We will need to give to the Lord all those things in our present which we do not want to

lose control of, the things that we hold back from Him (our love life, our other relationships, our work, our finances, etc.)

- We need to do this in order for His wonderful plan for us to unfold, rather than ours. - We need to do this in order to allow ourselves to be used for His purpose.

• In the present situations we are in, the circumstances may not change, the people

involved may not change, but we must allow the Holy Spirit to change us – to change our perspective, our outlook and our understanding of the situation.

B. Our Future (must be given over to the Father’s will)

• God wills wholeness and healing in our lives, not pain and emptiness. • God wills forgiveness in our lives, not the burden of anger or embitterment. • God wills order in our emotions, not disordered passions ruling us.


• We trust that all that the Heavenly Father wills for us is great, that He has prepared for us a life of fullness, that He will provide for our needs.

(PRAYER FOR INNER HEALING – See Suggested Outline after the Talk)

V. Conclusion

Jesus, fully surrendered to the will of the Father and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, serves as our example on how to live a life pleasing to the Lord. It is in this very act of surrender that we will constantly see the love of God working in and through our lives. This will enable us to deal with hurts and pains, to recognize God’s love behind them and to consequently live the life of fullness intended for us, God’s beloved children.


SUGGESTED OUTLINE FOR INNER HEALING

The premise of the healing outline is not just to use words (e.g. I heal you from any negative emotion caused by your past sins, the sins of your family for all past generations, etc) which of course have their power stemming from the power of the Holy Spirit but rather, to have them experience the love of the Holy Trinity. It was mentioned in the talk that healing is needed when the love of God is obscured. The manner of healing recommended is to reveal the deep love of each person of the Holy Trinity.

The speaker may adapt a storyline which he/she is more comfortable with; however it is highly advised for the manner abovementioned to be employed.

Jesus, show me Your love, that I may be healed:

- Come into prayer and lead them into listening to “Psalm 139” by Rebecca St. James

- After “Psalm 139” has ended, lead them into this Session for Inner Healing.

Introduction to Inner Healing:

Please close your eyes and try to silence your thoughts and emotions. We thank the Lord for this encounter. And though we still feel there is darkness in different areas within ourselves, don’t worry. Do not worry if you do not have the key to unlock the door to your inner healing. Jesus is the key. He will enter into any area of our heart, any area of that deep mind, to unlock that memory and to heal it. But He wants our permission. God will never violate our free will. We have to invite Him to enter into our hearts and to touch any painful memories that we have stored there. Even if we cannot recall anything which might impede our spiritual growth, we can still ask the Holy Spirit to direct Jesus' healing. Consciously we are very limited, but God is not. We can ask the Holy Spirit to have Jesus touch any and every past experience that needs to be touched. The Lord may not erase these traumas from our life immediately. What He will always do, though, is transform them. He will always transform them so that they will no longer have the power to keep us in bondage. He transforms them into love and in doing so, He changes us. He takes us constantly, day by day, and changes us. He loves to do that. He will take our memory and He will transform it. He


can take any negative feeling, any feeling of anger, any feeling of sadness, any feelings of guilt, any kind of pain and, through this inner healing process, He can heal it – because He is the Healer and the Light and Love Himself. He can change even years of suffering in just one prayer. He can do it. Or He can do it over a process of extended time. It will always be a step toward wholeness whichever way the Lord chooses to work. He is God. We have to allow Him to be free always to do it the way He wants to do it. We will come into the Lord’s presence again and ask for that healing. All we need to do is to be open. Don’t look for tears, or a sudden surge in your heart. Just look for one thing, and one thing only – Jesus and His love. Then tell Him what is in your heart right now. Jesus, show me Your love and heal me.

Encounter with Jesus for Inner Healing (Surrendering the Past)

You are seated, as you are now. And you feel the Holy Spirit urging you to stand up and move. You see yourself standing up to follow Him but you look around for a backpack with your angst, guilt, anger, and other negative emotions inside it. You follow Him into a heavily wooded area. The backpack weighs you down terribly. You remove the backpack and look for a comfortable position for it. Leaves and branches block you, but your hands are still clutching the backpack! You cannot freely remove the leaves and branches which hit your body for your hands are on the backpack. Eventually you cannot see where the Spirit went. You have lost your way. You are standing there tired, bruised, weighed down. Then you see Light. It is Jesus coming towards you. He looks at you with delight: “I have found you.” He reaches for your backpack but you hang on to it, scared that He would open it and see how dirty you have become with all your sins, your baggage from the past and the present. You look down, thinking if I give Him the backpack, He would not want me to come with Him. As you look down, you see the wounds on His hands and feet, and think “I caused those wounds.”


Jesus looks into your eyes. You recognize His love and are lost in the depth of it. You also recognize something you never thought to look for. Truth. He DOES love me, and He DOES know everything about me, including those things I thought I could hide from Him. Yet He still loves me! You give Him the backpack, never taking your eyes off His. And as He carries it without even looking at it to see what is inside it, you realize finally, He does not care about the backpack, He only cares about you. He puts His hand on your shoulder and leads you out of the wooded area. You are silent. Too engrossed in the warm feeling of His companionship. You come into an area where the heavy branches end and step out onto the most breathtaking beach you have ever seen. You take a while drinking it all in and look with rapt wonder at everything. Turn to Jesus and He has the same expression on His face but He’s only looking at one thing – YOU. Emboldened, you start to tell Him all the things in your heart, your guilt, your anger, your pain – (pause and say a silent prayer for the participants to tell God everything weighing them down) and suddenly realize that there is little emotion you feel. Jesus smiles at you and reminds you that you have already given Him your backpack. You have surrendered it all to Him. You have offered your past to Him.

An Encounter with the Holy Spirit (Surrendering the Present)

He encourages you to sit down beside Him and He tells you, I will breathe My Spirit upon you. I make all things new (pause to ask for the grace of belief in this for the participants) And as He breathes upon you, you sense light filling you, starting with your head, and your mind is cleared of ill and unkind thoughts… This light reaches your eyes to cleanse them of sin. Reaches your mouth and you feel the healing of the Spirit, rendering your tongue and mouth clean.


The light moves down and fills every part of your body to bring healing, and wholeness and love. Your shoulders, your chest… The light lingers in your heart and you feel Jesus put His hand on your shoulder reassuringly as if to tell you LET GO. And you decide to let go of all that is in your heart. Every negative feeling, every bad and painful memory, every hurt inflicted on you, every hurt you gave out. You just let it all go. And the Spirit stays a while longer to fill your heart with His love. The Holy Spirit tells you to surrender the present to Him. You give to Him all your difficulties, concerns and worries about the present, all things that hinder you from making decisions, from moving forward, from moving closer to the Lord, and enjoying fullness of life. (Pause and say a silent prayer for the participants to be open to the love of the Lord and for faith to surrender their present to Him.) The light of the Holy Spirit flows down every part of your body, healing you, filling you with Himself, with love. And after it has filled even the soles of your feet, the light moves back up and surprises you by resting in your heart. The light of the Spirit has decided to stay there, for as long as you will let Him.

An Encounter with the Father (Surrendering the Future)

Jesus gently pulls you up and walks with you again. You see another great light approaching. When the figure comes closer, you realize it is the Heavenly Father. And you just run into His arms and as His loving arms enfold you, you are flooded with peace. You are in the arms of the Father. You are in the arms of the Father who made you come into being. He gazes at you with love and says “my child (my son/my daughter), my most precious one” and He holds you like He will never let you go and as you realize this, He says “yes, my child, I will ALWAYS choose you, I will always love you”. And with these words, you are filled with His loving assurance that your future is in His hands. In His embrace, allow your concerns and fears about the future to melt away. You are assured that in His hands, there is nothing to fear. With His grace, you can face the future with courage and with hope. (Pause and say a silent prayer for them to have faith, hope, and peace in surrendering their future to the Lord.)


Stay in the embrace of the Father with Jesus beside you and the Holy Spirit dwelling in you. (Pause and say a silent prayer for them to focus on basking in the Love of the Lord.) You are still in the presence of the Holy Trinity. You are filled with their love and are in awe of how much love can be directed at you. Filled with gratitude and joy, think about the greatness of this love and the greatness of our God…

End the session with the song “HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD” (or any appropriate song).


TALK 6: A HEART ATTUNED TO CHRIST

Objectives: 1. Instill in the participants the importance of taking on the character of Jesus. 2. Make the participants realize that they can take on Jesus’ character by having their hearts attuned

to Christ. 3. Encourage the participants to follow Jesus’ example in submitting to the Father, through the Spirit,

all their emotions, thoughts, and struggles in prayer.

Key Messages: 1. We can take on Jesus’ character because Jesus Himself wants us to, so long as we keep our hearts

attuned to Jesus. 2. Like Jesus, we need to live in the love of the Father, guard our hearts and be aware of the Lord’s

presence moment by moment. 3. We can practice attuning our hearts to God by spending time with Him in prayer, knowing more

about Him through Scripture, experiencing Him in the Sacraments and giving out the love we have learned to others.

Tenor: The session should be exhorting, i.e. lively and encouraging the participants to believe that they can become people whose hearts are attuned to Christ, with the rallying cry: “With God, I can!”

Speaker’s Profile: The speaker should be a brother who can rally the participants to really step up and take on the character and heart of Jesus. He should be well-known as someone who is level-headed and always submissive to God’s will.

Expanded Outline:

I. Introduction


God wants us to seek joy in Him alone. He wants us to experience His peace and joy. He wants us to seek His beauty. He wants us to seek His love and His heart. This is what we were created for. This is what we were designed for. This is the reason for our existence. We were created to seek first God’s kingdom (Matthew 6:33) before everything else. Jesus specifically tells us how to seek the Father in John 14:6 “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to Father except through Me.” We need to come to Jesus, to take on His character, to have His heart – to have our hearts attuned to His – that we may find what we seek. Our life ought to be a reflection of the life of Jesus. “He wants to produce His life in your life through your life.”

II. Taking On Jesus’ Character

• Colossians 3: 12-17 “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful.”

• The above verse tells us of our necessary response to all emotions and circumstances. We are

asked to be as Jesus was – kind, humble, gentle, patient, forgiving. The very traits we have been discussing this weekend – the very character of Jesus Himself.

• We are called to put them on, privileged to put them on, because we are God’s chosen ones,

His beloved. We realize that having been called to do so, that it is possible to do so. We know that He who has called us, will also equip us to answer to this call to be like Him.

• We realized in this weekend that we will need to TAKE OFF certain things we have kept to

ourselves – excess pride, misplaced anger, fear etc. – things that do not belong to the Lord. Again the act of emptying and surrendering ourselves first is key so that He may fill us with Himself.

• We are exhorted to over all, put on love which is the bond of perfection. Not our brand of

loving but Jesus’ brand of loving. If we are to sum up Jesus’ character in one word – it would be love.


• In doing this we will allow the peace of Christ to control our hearts, as the bible verse says,

and we get closer to attuning our hearts to His. • It is easier than we think because Jesus WANTS to be in us! He has already left His

indelible character stamped upon us through the Sacraments:

o Baptism – having become sons and daughters of the Father, it is in our very nature to WANT to follow His will for us!

o Confirmation – in allowing the Holy Spirit to consume us with His Divine Fire, it is second nature for us to WANT to follow His Holy inspirations and leadings!

o Holy Eucharist – in receiving Jesus’ very body and blood, we are truly, completely united to Him, naturally wanting His heart as our own!

• Further proof that He wants us to have His character and be one with us:

o 2 Peter 1:4 – “His divine power has bestowed on us everything that makes for life and devotion, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and power. Through these, he has bestowed on us the precious and very great promises, so that through them you may come to share in the divine nature…”

o Phil. 1:6 – “I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

• At the end of the day, we find that HE is the one working in and through us. Phil 2:13 “For

God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work.” • We just need to attune ourselves to His loving and living presence in our lives, to His loving

heart, to make this character of His, truly our own.

III. A Heart Attuned to Christ

• Attuning our heart to Jesus is how we can take on Jesus character and be transformed into a new person. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

• It is only in Christ that we take on a new personality – His character. We are

transformed having a new attitude, new mind-set, with a new approach on how we handle our emotions. We behave like Christ.

• Attuning our hearts to Christ is about:


1. Living in His love.

- Jesus says, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you,

that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:9-11) - We live and remain in God’s love by following the commands that Jesus gives us.

All of God’s commands have to do with love, particularly loving God and loving others.

- Instead of looking at the commandments as rules that constrict us, we should see them for what they are – ways by which we can experience the freedom to love and be loved as God wishes (examples below).

a. The commandment to love God frees us from earthly love and addictions which are hearts are not made for and will leave us wanting aimlessly.

b. The commandment “Thou shall not bear false witness…” frees us from living in guilt and shame and reminds us to live freely in truth.

c. Loving our neighbor will allow us to freely enjoy the love, companionship and relationships that we are meant to experience here on earth.

2. Guarding our heart.

- Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. The heart is the well spring of life.

- We guard our heart against evil, sin and temptation in any form – no matter how small or how subtle, as even the smallest things, if done repeatedly, will eventually cause us to fall in big things; and will also cause our hearts to be slowly numbed to the voice of our conscience as we begin justifying our actions.

3. Being aware of Him every moment.

- We attune our heart to Him by realizing He is living in us, around us, in others, through circumstances, etc. In all aspects of our lives, He has a share in it and calls for us to recognize that fact – that we may go through our lives in the way that He would.

- We try to be more attuned to God's heart by focusing our mind on Him, His plans, His work and His attributes in our everyday lives.


IV. Concrete ways to being attuned to Jesus’ Heart:

1. Spend time with Jesus in prayer

• The only way to know a person better is to spend quality time in conversation with Him. Defending our daily prayer time will help us have a better sense of His presence in our life.

• Talk to the Lord openly, about anything. About how we feel, about how we are doing. Talk to God about our own character in prayer that He in turn may gently point out to us His character for us to follow.

2. Know more about Jesus’ heart through the Scriptures

• The Old Testament begins the Salvation History and tells us of how the Lord has been endeavoring to reconcile us to Him from the very beginning. The stories relate how the Lord has intervened in man’s life in order to save him and draw him closer. They are a foreshadowing of the triumphant salvation of Jesus and speak of the constant, faithful love of God for man.

• The New Testament fulfills all the Old Testament prophecies and testifies to the life Jesus lived. Studying the stories and the way Jesus lived and loved will give us an insight as to how to think, behave and love.

3. Experience Jesus’ heart through the Sacraments

• The Sacraments are Jesus’ ways of constantly gracing us as we live. • We can receive the Eucharist and go to Confession as often as we want to. The

Eucharist graces us with nourishment while the Confession graces us with healing – both give us the experience of the love of Jesus in an intimate way.

• Through these Sacraments, untold secrets are whispered to our heart and soul. The words of the Liturgy, the presence of the Sacred Ministers (the Priests) and the union with the rest of the Body of Christ (the Church) – all come together to give us a unique experience of Christ’s love every time we come.

4. Live out Jesus’ heart with others

• In giving out Jesus’ heart, by showing His character instead of our own, we become more attuned to the way His heart moves. This takes a conscious, deliberate effort to go back to what we have learned about Jesus’ heart in prayer, Scripture and the Sacraments. It calls for dying to our own emotions and character, as we imagine how Jesus would act and behave and following accordingly.


• As we do this constantly, we will find ourselves yielding more and more to His mind,

will and heart, and loving as He would.

V. Conclusion

Jesus is our model, our clear example, our true guide – for it is His character stamped on ours that makes us truly Christian!

As we submit our will to the Father, heed the inspirations of the Holy Spirit and have our hearts attuned to Christ, we will find out more and more that people will recognize the character and the love of Christ in us!

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