chot dove prints jan 09 revised

8/14/2019 CHOT Dove Prints Jan 09 Revised

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Dallas

Grief Support Group

When: 5 Week Series. - Every Tuesday beginning

January 6th, 6:30 p.m.

Where: Community Hospice of Texas

Dallas Ofce

1341 W. Mockingbird, Suite 210 E

Please call 214-920-8450 to let us know you will

be attending or for further information

WacoWalk/Sit at the Mall

When: Each Tuesday at 9:00 a.m.

Join us at the Food Court to walk or just sit anddrink coffee and socialize.

Grief Support Group

When: Second Thursday of each month

5:30 to 7:00 p.m.

Where: Providence Hospice

4839 Lakewood Drive, Suite 2, Waco

Bring your favorite game and Join us for for atime of socializing and games.

Rainbows

Rainbows is a support group for children K thru

12 grades. This group is for children who have

experienced a loss either by death or divorce.

Please call 254-399-9099 for more information.

Bereavement Support Group

When: Each Wednesday from 5:30-6:30 p.m.

Where: Providence Hospice

4830 Lakewood Dr., Suite 2, Waco

Contact Amy Raborn at 254-399-9099 or1-800-625-9328 to register.

January Grief Support ActivitiesFort WorthGrief Support Group

When: 5 Week Series. - Every Tuesday beginning

January 6th, 6:00 p.m.

Where: Community Hospice of Texas

Fort Worth Ofce

6100 Western Place, Suite 500

Please call 817-882-1252 to let us know you will be

attending or for further information

Birthday Breakfast Club

When: First Monday of the Month

(January 5th), 9:00am - 10:30 am

Where: Ol South Pancake House

1509 S University Dr, Fort Worth

Everyone is invited. Come join us for coffee,breakfast, and friendship.

Walk/Sit at the Mall

When: Every Wednesday, 9:00 to 10:30 a.mWhere: Hulen Mall Food Court (close to Dairy Queen)

Come join us to walk or just sit and talk, drinkcoffee and socialize.

Lunch Club

When: Fourth Tuesday of each month (January 27th)

11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Where: Ryans Steak House

1501 S Cherry Ln, Fort Worth

MexiaLunch Bunch

When: First and Third Tuesday of each month

(January 6th & January 19th)

12:00 to 1:00 p.m.

Where: First Tuesday- The Farm House Restaurant

810 E. Milam, Mexia

Third Tuesday - Magic China Restaurant

701 N. Hwy. 14, Mexia

Dove Prints Volume 14, Issue 1

1

A publication by Community Hospice of Texas and aliate, Providence Hospice

January 2009


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2

I have very fond memories of the two small grocery

stores in my town on Staten Island. In my childhood

day I formed such special stories and impressions, and

those two stores were investments in people and the

community. I wasnt aware of prices, of course, but

I knew I could walk to the store for my mother andif they didnt have what I needed, they knew what I

needed. It was a rare event (we always stopped to smell

the coffee) to drive two towns over to the A & P. Now,

there are these super stores that sell everything. They

blend grocery store, butcher shop, orist, hardware

and pharmacy. I cant seem to nd a thing. Whats

worse, they seem to do everything wrong. By my logic,

dairy products, frozen foods and produce should all be

together, the last things in the cart before checking out.

The dairy products and produce are at opposite ends of

the store and the frozen goods are right in the middleof the store. No sense about it at all.

Last week the nightmare became an impossibility. Not

only were they re-arranging half the stock, the only

markers I could rely on (the signs hanging over each

aisle) had been removed. I was lost in a wilderness of

jars, cans and boxes with my shopping list vibrating in

my trembling hand. Four little items, a quick trip to the

store, but the event went on forever.

Lists/needs. Locations/sanctuaries. Signs/spiritual

connections. These are the ingredients or points of

connection for all of us on our spiritual journeys,

even though each of us experiences them differently.

We approach our spiritual journey, and our religious

expressions and communities with many needs. At

the store, it was milk, bread and one tomato. For the

spiritual side of life it is about peace, hope, forgiveness

and something that hints of sense or purpose in the

madness of life. We go to grocery stores for food,

and we go to the sanctuaries of our faith to meet

others who seem to share our experiences and maybe

understand a little bit. A religious leader is present with

us to teach, to guide and to minister. Signs, much like

the ones hanging over aisles in the store, point the way

to the Transcendent One, or to that which transcends

our moment and predicament, to point the way.

What does this say to all of us in our sorrow as we

come to terms with a loss? Loss, and our need to

mourn, is a very spiritual experience. Our lists vary

(justice, anger, fear, loneliness, peace), but we all have

them. They may not appear very godly to some, but

they are the markers of our grief, and they are the

points where we both hurt and will nd ultimate

healing. We seek out community. It may be at a church

mosque or synagogue, a support group, a social clubor a network of friends. It is that gathering where we

feel safe (that is what sanctuary means) to be ourselves

and to unfold our stories and our needs. In a sense, it

is the place where we hand over our list and bag the

products of comfort, care and healing. The spiritual

path is where we look for signs, symbols of trust and

hope that tell us we wont hurt this badly forever, that

someone or Someone is listening to us, and that there

is a thin thread holding us together when everything

seems to be falling apart.

We need places and people to discuss the depths of

the spiritual challenge when the spiritual piece of our

story is a mixed blessing. We all have times when we

walk in and the stock has been rearranged, it makes

even less sense than before, and the signs that we have

always trusted are gone. For many, our loss experiences

are rubbed raw by an almost deeper loss, the sense

that we have lost our spiritual roots and resources. For

some of us, it emerges from simple thingsthe ministe

who may do a good funeral, but knows nothing about

grief (at least that is the message we get from his or

her distancing). It may be the congregation members

who act like everyone else and just dont seem to

understand or care. Maybe the words and rituals seem

empty. As one friend reminded me, Every time I go to

church, the only thing I see is the casket. That is too

much to bear right now.

For others, however, the loss that they have

experienced may seem like make believing, and belief

may seem impossible. How does one believe in a

comforting shepherd when a bullet kills his child on the

way to school? How do you hear stories about prayer

when you feel your prayers went unanswered? What

meaning do healing stories have when your loved one

fought the horrors of cancer and succumbed? Are you

trying to live with someone living with Alzheimers

disease? How can you listen to comments about God

plan of salvation when a loved one just committed

suicide?

(continued on page 3)

WHEN THERE ARE NO SIGNS

By: Rev. Dr. Richard B. Gilbert, Bereavement Magazine Jan./Feb. 2001


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RANDOM THOUGHTS

By: Cecelia T. Perciballi-Clayton, Bereavement Magazine Jan/Feb 2001

Do you know what you have taught me? Do you know what I have learned?

Do you know how you have changed me? Do you know how I go on?

There are incredible voids in life. There comes an overwhelming sadness.

There are the tremendous gifts of love and of sharing; there are the deepest pains of loss and suffering.

I have learned that I see more with an open heart than with open eyes, and it is when I feel like I have hit the bottom

that I nd the roots and foundations that hold me together. When it looks like I have gone nowhere, I nd myself inunknown territory. When I am too tired to go further, somehow I am guided to a new beginning, and the distance

between the ames of a bonre and the stars that dance among the pine trees is nothing.

The God I thought I knew is not the one whom I have come to know. More can be accomplished in remaining still

than in all the movement I might try. A moment can seem an eternity, and a lifetime is never long enough.

Love does more than endure, love becomes the strength that keeps me alive. I can love beyond the physical and feel

comforted by love that is no longer spoken. I hear clearly words that are unspoken and am guided by wisdom from

beyond. When I think I am ready, I nd that I have more to learn. (continued page 4)

WHEN THERE ARE NO SIGNS (continued from page 2)

These rough waters do come, and they are heightened by the grasp of our

losses. You can and will survive, though you may nd some of your spiritual

beliefs and practices rewritten or very cautiously expressed. You may be hard

pressed to nd someone who will listen. Many clergy or religious leaders

are under-trained in matters of grief and do not know how to stay personally

comfortable with these penetrating hurts that also lash out at the beliefs they

represent.

Your feelings are valid and so is your right to spiritual peace and well being.

I believe I can also speak for Rabbi Grollman and Father Phillips, the other

writer of this column, when I say that suffering does not come from God, and

that the genuineness of your beliefs and practices come from your heart and

not just from the imposition of others. We would all agree that as hard as it

may be at the moment, to believe in Gods love, or even in God, you are loved,

you are precious, and there is a pathway to healing and trusting again.

If the people in your religious community seem less than helpful (some may

surprise you, if given a chance!), contact the chaplain at your local hospital or

the people at your community hospice. They will know safe places (sanctuary)

and people who will accept you, afrm you and listen to all of your concerns

and questions (even the tough ones). Even if praying sees empty right now,

remember it is still conversation and connection. Seek spiritual direction.

The local super grocery has restored the signs and stopped moving the stock

around. My list is a little longer (maybe I am risking to stay with it a little

longer), and I will survive. So will you. You will continue to believe or perhaps

believe again.

Blessing for your journey.

The Empty ChairBy: Linda Gilman

Bereavement Magazine Jan/Feb 2002

Well see you in the sunset

on a coral cloud.

A reminder of the sunshine

you brought to all our lives.

You will put a brighter rainbow

way up there in our skies.

Your remembered smile and laughter

will chase away our tears.

Youll dine at Gods great table

arranging the affair,

While at our loving tables,there will be an empty chair.

Your love will stay within us

in the memories we share.

Hands and hearts touching,

forever youll be there.

Someday well all understand

why youre no longer here.

When we meet around Gods table,

there will be no empty chair.


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RANDOM THOUGHTS (continued from page 3)

Tears will never stop, and memories are never forgotten; laughter can happen; peace can reign. Darkness provides

illumination, and light can be blinding. Passion never leaves us, it merely changes form.

Friends can mean well and hurt deeply, and strangers understand what they dont know. When I open my arms for a

hug, and no one steps in, then I must remember how to love myself, and I am capable of doing so.

I cannot take away anothers pain, I can only allow myself to be present with the pain. I cannot create the healing, I ca

only encourage the desire to do so. I cannot convince another that it will be better, only that it will be different. Themost difcult thing to do is to do nothingmore is spoken with silence than with words.

I still get angry and annoyed, but I know now the worst that can happen until the next time and so I try to let the

little things slide away. I am more patient and more kind, less tolerant of ignorance, but more willing to understand

I know that I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of an individual who is lost. What I was so sure of

no longer, and things that I thought I forgot now come back to me as truths. True reality is not tangible and often not

logical. When I least want to participate in life, life presents me with the most beautiful gifts. There are gifts that I give

that I never knew I possessed, and gifts I receive come unexpectedly and without ribbons or bows.

Sometimes life seems unfair and unjust, yet it is all we have to work with. Sometimes it feels like it is too much effort

go on living, yet to give up is betrayal. Courage takes many forms and to be strong can seem so very weak.Pain strengthens, love heals, life is, sharing helps, the source of peace is in turmoil, joys surprise us, there is more, there

different, there is the legacy that nurtures, there is hope.

These are the random thoughts of a griever, a lover, a helper, a teacher, a student and a friend.

ommunityHospiceofTexas,FortWorth

00WesternPlace,Suite500

ortWorth,TX76107

l:(817)870-2795TollFree:(800)226-0373

CommunityHospiceofTexas,Cleburne

208WestHendersonStreet,SuiteB

Cleburne,TX76033-8773

el:(817)556-3100TollFree:(800)544-9899

TheCommunityHospiceofTexas

HospiceHouseDowntown

111SummitAvenue

ortWorth,TX76102

el:(817)870-9995

EmeryJ.LilgeHospiceHouse

01MedparkCircle

urleson,TX76028

el:(817)615-2150

CommunityHospiceofTexas,Dallas

341W.MockingbirdLn.Ste210E

Dallas,Texas75247

el:(214)920-8450TollFree:(800)275-9393

ProvidenceHospice,Waco830LakewoodDrive,Suite2

Waco,TX76710

el:(254)399-9099TollFree:(800)625-9328

ProvidenceHospice,Mexia

07E.CommerceStreet

Mexia,TX76667

el:(254)472-0779TollFree:(866)279-4728

Non-Proft

Organization

U.S.POSTAGE

PAID

FortWorth,TX

PermitNo.2687

DovePrints

FoundingMembers:ArlingtonMemorialHospital,

HarrisMethodistFortWorth,

uleyMemorialHealthSystem,ProvidenceHealthcareNetwork

chot dove prints jan 09 revised

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