Choose To Lead Your Emotions

CHOOSE

Choose To Make A DifferenceEMOTIONS!to lead your

Learning Objectives What are emotions

Emotional intelligence and its competences

Shredding and its emotional consequences

Six emotional Languages

Leading different types of emotion

InformationImpartationApplication3Why do People work?

4Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. The joy and moral stimulation of work no longer must be forgotten in the mad chase of evanescent profits. These dark days will be worth all the cost us if they teach us that our true destiny is not to be ministered unto, but to minister to ourselves and our fellow men - Franklin Roosevelt

What are emotions?All emotions are impulses to actThe root word: emotion mowere latin verb to move, prefix e connotes move away6

People are EMOTIONAL Beings!So our emotion determines our choices, and our choices determine our results.Most Barbaric, and the most courageous act were done under the Influence of emotionsIf you are led by emotions, you are impulsive and you are predictable

7People are SOCIAL Beings!

It allows people to come to one anothers rescue, emotionally.With open loop nature of our brain, there is interpersonal limbic regulations, whereby one persons action or inactions transmits signals that can alter hormonal levels, cardiovascular functions, sleep rhythms, and immune functions inside the body of another.8

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Learning PointsEmotions are real, every normal person should feel.You have control over your feelings it can be harnessed, it can be domesticated. No emotion is permanent, if yours is, see a physician.You have the capacity to choose and lead your emotions

PASSION AND REASONTen CommandmentsThe code of HamurabiEdicts of Emperor AshokaHamurabi Babylonian KingAshoka India, Nepal, PakistanSociety has had to enforce from without rules meant to subdue tides of emotional excess that surges too freely within.11

Emotions VS MoodsEmotions are highly intense, fleeting or momentary, and sometimes disruptive to productive work. Moods tend to be less tense, longer lasting feelings that typically dont interfere much with the job at hand.

IQ VERSUS EQAcademic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil or opportunity lifes vicissitudes bring.The brightest among us can founder on the shoals of unbridled passions, and unruly impulses.

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The rules of work are changing, we are being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other Daniel Goleman

Emotional intelligence

Is the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions in both ourselves and othersEmotional Intelligence

Activity IQ TESTWrite down as many different uses that you can think of for the following objects, in 5 minsA BrickA BlanketDivergence Test17

If intelligence matters only up to a point, then past that point, other things things that has nothing to do with intelligence must start to matter more Malcolm Gladwell (Outliers)

IQTechnical ExpertiseEQThree Domain of CompetencesSome competencies are purely cognitive, such as technical expertise baseline competence. Others combine thought and feeling; these are emotional competenciesPeter Principle People lifted to their next level of incompetence.19

Emotional competence: An emotional competence is a learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding performance at work. An emotional competence is a learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding performance at work20

Some Misconceptions of EQ EQ does not mean merely being nice.

EQ is not giving free rein to feelings

Women are not smarter than men when it comes to EQ, nor men superior to women.

Shredding and its Emotional consequences

Shredding: is a corporate abuse, expressed inform of severe public reprimandShredding attacks an emotional competency called: SELF CONFIDENCE.

People Shred because: - Emotional Unintelligence competencesEgo: lack of people skill; absence of empathy as an emotional competence

Insecurity: not confident of oneself; absence of self confidence as an emotional competence

Transferred aggression: absence of people skill, lack of empathy

IV.Generally lack people skill.

Become emotionally intelligent to overcome shredding and get the best out of peopleLeading Emotions at work

Work place is a place of diverse and changing emotions. These emotions if not properly managed can really get in the way of productive work.

Six emotional Languages to that ensures smooth relationship at work

Six emotional Languages that ensures smooth relationship at work

Word of affirmationAct of servicePhysical touchQuality timeGiving of giftsUse of images View video here

Words of Affirmation - Actions dont always speak louder than words. Encourage: Inspire courageQuality Time - undivided attention, avoid distractions, Time is a strong communicator of deeper commitment Giving of Gifts - Not inducement. The most powerful intangible gift you can give anyone is your physical presence in his/her time of crisisAct of Service - do for them what will ease their burdenPhysical Touch - Ways to show excitement, concern, care, and loveUse of Images - Elicit a predefined response from viewers

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Emotional FreedomYou have emotional freedom when your emotions work in your favour. With emotional freedom you seek to appraise and understand others, and you seek to achieve a win-win outcome in your relationships Seyi Wright CMAD

A man with emotional freedom can skillfully separate a man from the problem in any issue involving problems created by man30

Leading different types of emotions

Leading worryWorry is usually linked with our expectation. It is the opposite of faith. When we worry, we lack the ability to concentrate on constructive thingsMake credible decisions.32

Steps in overcoming worry to make a difference by Willis H. Carrier

Be Willing to have it so.. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune Prof. William James

Step one: self awareness; first recognize the feeling, and the thought sponsoring the feeling, or image that is sponsoring the anxiety

Step two: analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what the worst that could possibly happen as a result of the failure

Step three: after figuring out what was worst that could possibly happen, reconcile yourself to accepting it, and accepting all of its consequences.

Step four: now devote time to think constructively on how to improve upon the worse which has been mentally accepted

In summary, learn to move from negative and anxious thoughts towards positive concerns about their goal. - CMAD

Leading angerIn its foundation, the more determined you are to make a difference, the more difficult it is for you to be provoked to anger.

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one. Benjamin Franklin

Anger is the most seductive of the negative emotions, and it is the feeling people are worst at controlling. It is the most intransigent. Brooding Fuels angers flame

Balm for AngerSince anger builds on anger, challenge the thought (by obtaining or formulating mitigating information) that is sponsoring the first burst of anger. Timing is very important here, as the mitigating information should arrive earlier in the anger cycle.

Cooling down: cooling off physiologically by waiting out the adrenal surge caused by anger thus de-escalating it. While cooling of you put brakes on the thoughts that escalate anger, by seeking out distractions

Avoid catharsis giving vent to rage

Note: Lashing out at people may sometimes provoke positive actions, when it restores a sense of control or rights an injustice for instance, but the decision to discipline someone shouldnt be taken during the moment of anger-CMAD

Leading fearFear is the greatest undoing of the average person E.A Adeboye

Most of our fears originate from our avid self fascination: our jobs, our reputation, our health, our finances, our families and so on. The more self-focused we are, the more we are afraid of loosing those things with which we are obsessed.

Overcoming fearsDo the things you are afraid to do and death of fear is certain Ralph Waldo Emerson

Boldly step out to do those things that you have been afraid, but need to do.

A major step towards overcoming your fears is to carefully think through and answer these questions:What am I afraid of?Why am I afraid of it?What can I do about it

Work on gaining the right perspective of events or people that makes us afraid. We sometimes overestimate them

D.Preparation: prepare ahead of time to manage and lead your fears, indeed to meet it head on

Lead your regretsWe all have certain things that we wish we had done better in the past which now feeling sorry for.

To lead your regrets you really ought to be thankful for them

Lead Malicious thoughts Your ability to initiate reconciliation with others shows a high level of emotional maturity.

Maintain a right perspective.Seeing things from the right perspective impacts positively on your people skill. This is an emotional intelligence domain.

Learn how to manage your expectations of people allow room for human frailties, no matter how low your tolerance for errors might be, or how much principled you are.

Express your feelings of empathy, love, and care without expecting reciprocal actions

Take it as a personal responsibility to make every relationship a better one.

How to develop the right perspective:

Emphasize the presentWhat can you do now that will make you feel good and that will be in tandem with your long term goal?

Cialdinis six principles of influencehe spent three years going "undercover" applying for jobs and training at used car dealerships, fund-raising organizations, andtelemarketingfirms to observe real-life situations of persuasion and experiments in social psychology.Robert Cialdini

S- SCARCITYC- COMMITMENT/ CONSISTENCYR- RECIPROCITYA- AUTHORITYL- LIKINGS- SOCIAL PROOF

Scarcity Things are more attractive, when their availability is limited, or when we stand to lose the opportunity to acquire them on favorable termsCommitment/consistency- we have a deep desire to be consistent, for this reason, when we have committed to something, we re then more inclined to go through with it.Reciprocity- you always feel indebted to return a favor.Cialdinis Six Principles of influence

Authority People feel safe and are easily persuaded by anyone who demonstrates personal mastery in product, services, or industryLiking We easily persuaded by those we likeSocial Proof people feel safe doing what they see others doingCialdinis Six Principles of Persuasion

ConclusionsOur emotions can either lift us up, or create challenges for us in our relationships regardless of our level of intelligence. Unless a conscious choice is made regarding how we will respond before an event occur, it is usually too late to control our emotions at the point when it happens

Thank you

EMPATHYSELF AWARENESSPERSONAL COMPETENCESOCIAL COMPETENCE

Political AwarenessLeverage diversityUnderstanding othersService orientationDeveloping othersOptimismSelf ConfidenceEmotional Self awarenessAccurate self assessment

SOCIAL SKILLSSELF MANAGEMENT

Self ControlConscientiousnessAdaptabilityTrustworthinessInnovation

InfluenceCommunicationConflict managementLeadershipChange catalystBuilding bondsCollaboration and cooperationTeam capabilities

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SELF MOTIVATION

Achievement DriveCommitment InitiativeOptimism