Checkers Good Value Guru Hot Hundred

100 value-for-money wines for 2010 from the Sunday Times Good Value Guru

as reported by Neil Pendock

GVG Manifesto

It‟s not often that poems come true. Robert Frost‟s Road Less Traveled has a physical

realization just outside Beaufort West, that unlovely town of child prostitute billboards,

take-away deep-fried chicken and pre-dawn bus crashes in the middle of the Great

Karoo: N1 to Cape Town or the R62 to the Mother City. The Sunday Times Good Value

Guru and I took the road less traveled this winter, and as Robert noted “that has made

all the difference.”

On the track of value-for-money wine supplies for friends in Jozi, we

stumbled across a Major in Ida‟s Valley with a bottle of Riesling from

Hitler‟s bunker. We heard about a lady with blue hair who lives

stoksielalleen on a farm outside Montagu sans electricity and

another who is 86 in the shade and drinks two bottles of Sauvignon

Blanc on her stoep everyday.

Why? Because glossy lifestyle magazines are the Paris Hiltons of hedonism, they may

have left their smalls in the suite, but they‟re one big tease. We were heartily sick and

tired of Groot Gimmick Estate on the Helderberg and their blend of Trincadeira and

Ruby Cabernet, awarded more gongs than Big Ben by a panel of bow-tied boffins and

unavailable unless you‟re the winemaker‟s PR‟s aroma therapist. And besides, it‟s

cheaper to source your own gems, as illegal miners all over the goldfields are finding

out. Try and nationalize that, Julius!

Our inaugural road trip went down last year and 500

000 copies of the Good Value Guru Diaries were

included in the Christmas edition of the Sunday

Times last year. The largest circulation SA wine

guide in history (ten times the print run of John

Platter) and this winter, the Ultraliquors catalogue

gave two pages to GVG selections and that one ran

to 600 000 copies. So we were on the money

thinking that SA was thirsty for value-for-money

wines. And we‟re betting you still are.

Who is the GVG?

The GVG is no wine snob. He has trouble easing his

moobs into an anoraque and fastening a bowtie is

out of the question. He prefers black PT shorts,

gardening T-shirts and floppy fishing hats. More Vernon Koekemoer than Oz Clarke.

Accidental connoisseurs, perhaps. Anoraque, never. Which is why GVG ferociously

defends his anonymity. A quaint eccentricity perhaps in these days when the Brian

Ferry of the Cape Town restaurant scene, Jean-Pierre Rossouw, is a kitchen pin-up and

columnists on WINE magazine (mea culpa) get a picture by-line.

Celebrity tipplers and noshers are no local phenomenon. The restaurants of London

famously have photos of the town‟s reviewers discretely posted so the Maître d‟ can

prevent any CIPs (that‟s even grander than a VIP – a commercially important

personage) from getting standard service or fare. When the London Sunday Times‟

reviewer AA Gill, fronted up, he announced “Oxford, party of two.” To which the

response was “actually, Mr. Gill, you booked under the name Cambridge.” Wine tasting

has more than a bit of this too, with discretion rarely part of an anoraque armory.

So we thought we‟d do things a bit differently. No business class air

tickets to the winelands, helicopter flips over the Helderberg and

guided cellar tours. Our chariot is a non-descript white Honda in

which we arrive at tasting rooms unannounced, to sample public

bottles and spit in the communal spittoon bobbing with cracker

crumbs. No special treatment, no special drops, we even pay for

tastings (up to R50 a person) and even shelled out the R10 admission

fee to gain entrance to the hallowed grounds of Vergelegen. In fact quite a few tasting

rooms were closed: Coleraine, Ridgeback, Haskell Vineyards, Somerbosch, Topiary and

Haut Espoir while some were open but there was nobody home like Vêndome and Lynx.

GVG has been doing this road thing twice a year for as long as I‟ve known him. It

started back in 1983 when tasting wine was a more leisurely activity. The number of

wineries was a third the tally of today but the 80 Km/hr speed limit and curfew petrol

station hours (on account of countrywide fuel restrictions) limited the number of cellars

reachable in a day. Today that wheel has come full circle with electricity rather than

fuel the limiting factor, although with the petrol price screaming into the stratosphere,

the sheiks are still applying the brakes.

This winter, we spent ten days on the road, sipping and spitting our way from Aan de

Doorns to Ziggurat Vineyards, buying the odd case here and there as value for money

dictated. Volumes have grown from a boot load to a container per trip - that‟s 30 or 40

cubic metres of vino, eagerly awaited by legions of colleagues, friends and those who

want a good deal and are heartily sick of gushing stories about labels they‟ve never

seen and brands they didn‟t even know existed.

Orders are placed on the GVG‟s recommendation, orders are consolidated at the

Vineyard Connection in Stellenbosch and the container arrives the next month.

Emptying it is like that episode of Little House on the Prairie where the community

builds a barn. From an upcountry point of view, SA wine distribution looks like it is

managed by the people who couldn‟t get jobs at Eskom. GVG is the antidote.

He has serious wine amateur credentials: a stockbroker father dragged him kicking and

screaming through the Michelin starred restaurants of France at an early age. A self-

taught sommelier, GVG was part of the downtown Johannesburg gastronomic scene in

the eighties, moving out to the burbs in the nineties, along with the dining crowd. A

cricket fanatic, GVG has the memory of a small elephant. He is a walking wine guide of

vinous information, without the usual conflicts of interest.

Last year, I hitched a ride with the GVG and as the Aussies would say, explored the

wines and wineries “Beyond the Black Stump.” This year we‟ve done it again to atone

for some of the sins of omission. In fact this is my third expedition: I did it first a

decade ago and still can‟t drink a liqueur after Danie Grundlingh opened his entire

range one unforgettable Tuesday afternoon at Grundheim, outside Oudtshoorn.

This then is the travel diary of a July tasting expedition: 10 days, 100 wineries visited,

1100 wines tasted, 100 written up. You won‟t find the “immaculate” Vergelegen V or “a

delicately poised” Waterford Jem – too pricey. Nor will you stumble over too many

alcoholic blockbusters or fruit bombs – too boring. What you will find are decent wines

of character at a decent price.

This GVG is unashamedly opinionated, outrageously prejudiced but honest, with no

kickbacks solicited or accepted (or offered, if truth be told). And not a single wine is

starred or scored. After all, wine writing should be about language, not arithmetic.

GVG Awards Of the 1100 wines we tasted over ten days, the GVG established a few value-for-money

benchmarks. Here they are. In addition, each day I chose a particular wine which blew

my hair back and I‟ve included one per episode as my personal Coup de Coeur.

Best Value White: Koelenbosch Wooded Chenin Blanc

2008 R35. Bottelary Hills is Ground Zero for good value

Chenin Blanc. At the WINE magazine Superpure Chenin

Challenge earlier this year, the top three were all made with

at least some grapes from this appellation, the most

unfashionable in snooty Stellenbosch. This one is packed full

of honey and toasted nuts. Martin Stevens made it (that‟s

him to the left on the right, alongside red winemaker Wilhelm

de Vries) and this co-operative cellar just gets better and

better.

Best Value Red: Blouvlei Droë Rooi 2008 R25. A classic

Bordeaux blend of Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot from

deepest Wellington by the empowerment label of

Johannesburg legal eagle Stef du Toit of Mont du Toit fame.

This juicy red exhibits good depth of ripe red berries with a

opulent cocoa chocolate powder finish. Totally moreish.

Best Value MCC: Weltevrede Entheos R60. Philip Jonker is a

poet with the sensitivity of Constantine P. Cavafy which could

explain the Greek name he chose for his fizz. “Entheos” is Greek

for enthusiasm which is how the GVG reacted to this rich and ripe

bubbly with a vigorous Athenian bubble.

Best Value Stickie: Slaley Noble Late

Harvest Chardonnay 2007 R45. Marvelous

Marius Malan makes this sinful Chardonnay at

Slaley on the Simonsberg. It costs winery

owner Lindsay Slaley R65 for Marius to make

each bottle, but then Lindsay is a generous chap. Lemon/lime

marmalade flavours with a sweet and sour acidity avoid a cloying

denouement.

Episode One: Going to the Dogs GVG itinerary: Johannesburg-Kimberley-Oudtshoorn-Calitzdorp-Montagu. Saturday morning to Monday night.

Everything is turned on its head – snow has painted the Swartberge wit, foreign tourist

numbers are down 70%, Grande Marque Wine Brands are discounted 80% and

homeboy Pocket Power runs out of juice in the Durban July.

The border between the North West and the Northern Cape is an aural one. A single

lane donkey track of potholes and broken tarmac has replaced large parts of the N12

highway linking the City of Gold to the Big Hole, which is even more aptly named now

that the diamond market is down 90%. So much for girls, compressed carbon and

friendship being forever. As you cross the border, the shake rattle and roll of the North

West is replaced by a most satisfying roar as your vet tekkies get a grip on the tar of

the Northern Cape. No wonder BMW speed trial their autos here.

We‟d left Johannesburg at 9am, one week after the Winter Equinox and like the sun,

were heading south. Like the sun, it was slow progress thanks to five stop-and-goes

(average waiting time 15-20 minutes each) and if it wasn‟t for the spicy wilds droë wors

(R70/Kg) at the Wolmaransstad Slaghuis, the GVG swore that next time, he might be

forced onto the N1 via Bloemfontein.

After overnighting in the Kimberley Protea Hotel next to the Synagogue and a Mexican

pizza at Mario‟s across the road plus a bottle of Jordan Cabernet 2006 (R160, pleasant

chewy blackcurrants and

vanilla) we set the GPS

for Oudtshoorn. The

border between Big and

Little Karoos is the

impressive Swartberg

range of mountains

which after a midwinter

snowstorm, looked like

the set of a Heidi movie.

We crossed the

Swartberge at

Meiringspoort into

another blast of

surreality: the dessert

was in green drag looking

like the Emerald Isle. At the gala dinner of the SA Brandy Foundation, which drew

down the curtain on the GoodLife Brandy Festival in Sandton recently, Outdshoorn old

boy François Ferreira was inducted into the SA Brandy Guild to join other members

Kgalema Motlanthe, Trevor Manuel and André P Brink (the best SA writer not to win the

Nobel Prize) holding up the bar.

The Klein Karoo National Arts Festival

(KKNK) is the biggest week on the

Oudtshoorn kalender and this year

Ferreira‟s performance Brandy, Bokkems

and Blues was the hottest ticket in

town. So when he recommended the

rack of Karoo lamb at the Colony

Restaurant in the Queen‟s Hotel in

Baron van Reede Street, we felt

culturally obliged to book a table and

stay over in the Victorian opulence of an

overstuffed hotel from a bygone age.

The first stop the next morning was Boplaas in Calitzdorp.

Oom Carel was in Croatia, which may sound like the title

of a Kooperasie Storie by PG du Plessis, but was also the

greeting from Leon Coetzee, boyfriend of Oom Carel‟s

daughter, Margaux, who now makes the wine and Port.

Boplaas is a real family affair and the recently released

Sauvignon Blanc 2009 is Oom Carel‟s mom‟s stoepsit wyn:

she may be 86 in the shade but is still good for a couple

of bottles a day. The GVG also gave it a thumbs up! and

praised the decision to go Sancerre – minerality and

greenness certainly most appropriate given the green

flush of vegetation after the recent rain.

Oom Boets at De Krans next door was fighting off a dose

of „flu so the GVG kept his distance, muttering about pigs.

GVG was impressed with the novel Pink Port which at R28

a bottle is great fun.

Just after Barrydale, Beate Joubert‟s Joubert-Tradauw deli is

an oasis of handmade food in an ocean of Niknaks and Red

Bull. Husband and winemaker Meyer was in Robertson

writing an exam to keep his dad‟s rifle. “The BS you have to

go through to be able to hunt” she remarked, but I‟m sure

she‟s on the hairy sandal side of this issue.

We whizzed past Rietrivier Wine

Cellar after being told they‟ve gone

over to the dark side, only producing

papsak wyn and stopped at

Zandvliet to get the odds of Pocket

Power winning the July. The tasting

room features an altar to the

racehorse which was born on the

farm and has made well over R8

million in winnings. “But the owners

get that” laughed Paul de Wet, “although it does help with stud

fees and yearling sales.”

At Kranskop in the Klaasvoogds Valley we bumped into Jono, a

Great Dane nearly as large as

Pocket Power. Newald Marais of

Nederburg fame is cellarmaster

and his daughter Mare-

Lee showed us a quintet

of hugely impressive

wines.

Goedverwacht confirmed

the good news that this

year‟s whites are a huge

step up on 2008: more fruit, better acid balance, more

depth.

The day ended with us checking into the Montagu

Country Hotel whose proprietor Gert Lubbe and his

pooch Salomiena share a birthday: 9/9/something 9

which makes them biodynamically compatible.

Gert describes this winter as “terrifying” for instead of the usual floods, it‟s a drought of

tourists that has him nervous. “Overseas tour groups are down 70% since May but

we‟ve discovered the conference business and have had a couple of groups drive

through from Stellenbosch.”

So while roads, tasting rooms and tourism go to the dogs, there‟s one lapdog in

Montagu who‟s not complaining: Salomiena Lubbe.

Coup de Coeur: Rietvallei Rhine Riesling 2008 (R33)

Robertson must rate as one of the last places you‟d choose to grow grapes for an

elegant Riesling – just ask Riesling revivalist Jörg Pfützner who has embarked on a

brave new career punting the noble varietal to restaurants and tasting clubs. Until

grapes are planted in the Koo Valley, elegant Elgin is the boffin‟s best bet for the steely

white grape of Northern Europe. Yet Robertson, famous for value for money reds and

tropical expressions of Sauvignon Blanc, is where the grapes for this elegantly floral

little number were grown.

On first impression, this is Appletiser without the bubble, for grown-ups and those

prone to flatulence. Very expressive, floral nose with a fresh and lively palate of apples

and pears. Needs time to develop complexity. With over 14 g/l residual sugar there is

serious palate weight although thanks to high acids, the wine tastes dry. Kobus Burger

demonstrates all the balance of a circus trick cyclist with this performance. Close your

eyes and you‟d swear it was Alsace in your glass. Bring on the presskopf (squashed

salted pig‟s head) and spicy bludwurst!

Abdullah II is King of Jordan (www.kingabdullah.jo, I kid you not) and a great fan of

Appletiser. His majesty likes the stuff so much, he even tried to buy the company, but

it‟s not for sale (yet). As a 43rd generation direct descendant of the Prophet

Muhammad this bottle will never grace the royal dinner table but would make a handy

aperitif at state banquets when the Sarkozy‟s stop by.

The best way to rile anoraques and boost comments on a

wine blog is to say “what a pity SA winemakers now have to

qualify wines made from Crouchen Blanc with „Cape‟ added to

the traditional „Riesling‟ on the label.” Of course blind tasters

have no such language problems, relying on senses other

than just their eyes to make decisions for them. On this

novel basis there is no Cape Riesling to hold a candle to this

Rhine maiden at this price point.

Paul Cluver IV from Elgin is a committed True Believer in

Riesling. This year, he is planting 3.4 Ha of new vines to

bring his total Riesling vineyard to over 10 Ha, the largest in

SA. When his 2009 vintage is released at R65 a bottle, clear

some space at the back of the cellar.

Local Hero: Gert Lubbe

“Not yet” is the correct response to the

question “do you have an espresso

machine?” hissed proprietor Gert Lubbe to

the waitress in the art deco dining room of

his grand pink wedding cake aka The

Montagu Country Hotel. As the bête noir

of SA wine Jane MacQuitty of the London

Times told New York Times Johannesburg

bureau chief Barry Bearak “unless the

South Africans track down this burnt

rubber taste, they will never be a real New

World player in wine” so too will the R62

never become a fully charged tourist

magnet until those burnt rubber aromas

are coming from an espresso machine.

Filter coffee just doesn‟t fill the aspirational

hole and if The Queens Hotel in Oudtshoorn and The Montagu Country Hotel want to

attract foreign tourists of the ilk of Jane MacQuitty, they‟d best wake up and smell the

coffee.

After all, Adi Badenhorst, winemaker with the most impressive lamb chop sideburns on

the Paardeberg admitted “an espresso machine is the most important piece of

winemaking equipment in the cellar.” Could espresso machines be the mysterious

source of burnt rubber in SA reds fingered by Jane and her pasty imitators? Something

for WOSA to look into, methinks.

Episode Two: But is it Art? GVG itinerary: Montagu-Robertson-Worcester-Tulbagh. Tuesday morning to Wednesday afternoon.

Could Fine Art be a bigger threat to SA wine than leaf roll virus? Winelands tasting

rooms are bursting with the stuff. As wineries morph into Art galleries, Dylan Lewis cat

sculptures are replacing vines.

Whatever is a Golden Kaan? I wondered as we rolled

down the main street of Robertson. We‟d drawn a

blank at Uitvlucht Co-op as

winemaker Alwyn

Liebenberg was tasting in

Stellenbosch. Not at

Springfield was Abrie Bruwer

(he was in Turkey) so we

couldn‟t tell him his 2007

vintage Whole Berry

Cabernet (R85) is the best

yet and the time has come for his walrus-like Work of Time

2003 red blend (R100).

At Ashton Co-op, stocks of unwooded Chardonnay 2008 (R25)

have evaporated faster than dew in the Klein Karoo after some

French wine judge with a badger hairstyle recently hailed it a

Chablis lookalike. “Humpf” humpfed the GVG “we picked it last year” confirming that a

prophet is not recognized in his own land.

Which forced the GVG to raise his sights R10 to the Bon Courage

unwooded Chardonnay 2009 which another French fundi may

“discover” next year. Ashton AWOL was BC‟s gain as GVG was

blown away by their whites, hailing 2009 as the vintage of the

decade to Mavis pouring glasses to a soundtrack of Tracey

Chapman and Laurika Rauch.

Was a Golden Kaan perhaps an idol the Israelites

worshiped in the desert that caused Moses to smash the

freshly minted Ten Commandments to smithereens? A

loyalty card from Absa? The GVG thought it Afrikaans

for a rooster, but then he was brought up in Jozi.

Whatever it was, why Robertson, opposite Roodezandt

Co-op?

Sharon Mason manages Golden Kaan (the venue)

and explained it is a multifunction space: you can

hire it for a presentation, it‟s an artists in the shade

gallery for showcasing local Picassos and Pinotage, as

it‟s also a tasting room for Golden Kaan (the wine) a

joint venture brand between KWV and Racke, a

German wine company. The imported stainless steel

tasting island looks like a Damien Hirst installation

from his medical period of pill paintings.

Things revert to normal across the road at

Roodezandt while at Robertson Winery next door, GVG joshed with a quartet of Scottish

supporters of the British and Irish Lions, confirming that foreign rugby supporters do

venture further than the Waterfront.

Conradie Family Vineyards outside Worcester are well

worth the ten minute diversion off the R60, if only to buy a

bottle of Journey of the Penguin 2007 (R28), a juicy

Pinotage blend that commemorates the journey of three

penguins, Percy, Peter and Pamela. Polluted in Table Bay

when the MV Treasure sank in 2000, they were relocated

to Port Elizabeth.

Rejecting the pleasures of PE, the trio swam home with

thousands of internet surfers following their progress as

satellites tracked their radio transmitters. When 2010 moves into the frame (and if

Australia qualifies) Conradie FV will be a magnet for Aussie supporters wishing to point

Percy at the porcelain.

Du Toitskloof Winery were in fine spirits as they‟d just landed a deal as house-wine of

the Ocean Basket restaurant chain, although GVG did have them worried when he

ventured he thought the chain was becoming more Halaal. Talk turned swiftly to bulk

prices, up to R5 a litre from R4.50 last year, which puts prices in perspective. A lesson

contradicted at Graham Beck earlier in the day where some icon brands are discounted

80%.

The Camerca 2008 red blend at Slanghoek is already so

reasonable at R25.50 a bottle, if it became a Beck Bargain,

they‟d have to pay you to drink it. Something not likely to

happen at Deetlefs in Rawsonville where we bumped into

leading Dutch wine writer Cees van Casteren at a terroir tour-

de-force tasting as Kobus Deetlefs showed off five vintages of

super Semillon.

Then off to a warm bed at the Church Street Lodge

in Worcester and a bizarre dinner in a giant

shopping centre next to the N1 that has

eviscerated all restaurants in town and replaced

them with franchise chains in a suburban shopping

setting.

Sick of the synthetic, we turned towards Tulbagh

and De Heuvel a first

stop. The line of

blue gums leading up

to the elegant tasting

room with external sculptures is the antipodean version

of the driveway of Neethlingshof: eucalypts replace stone

pines. So no surprise to report the Shiraz tastes of mint.

There is a dry Muscat 2008 (R25) the GVG called an

Alsatian doppelgänger and the 2006 is a steal at R5 a

bottle if you‟re into staleness.

The tasting room at Saronsberg looks like

a contemporary Art gallery transported

from Woodstock. Pretoria financial fundi

Nick van Huyssteen owns the place,

which features several paintings by

Tulbagh‟s favourite son, Christo Coetzee

who died in the village a few years ago. I

still remember hesitantly knocking on

Coetzee‟s door in historic Church Street

and being examined for several minutes

through the net curtain before the

reclusive artist threw open the door

and ushered us into his dark lounge

with a Cyndi Lauper video on the TV.

The Saronsberg wines were equally

exuberant.

Hannes Myburgh of Meerlust fame had

tipped me off that Coetzee would not

be around for much longer. He‟d been

a hero of mine ever since I heard he‟d

destroyed a gallery full of his own art

after an opening which sold out.

I was completely convinced by Saronsberg Art, but the GVG drew the line at the ghost

chairs of French überdesigner Philippe Stark. And I was forced to agree as not many

people would wish to view the guru‟s bottom when he is tasting, even if it is through a

transparent designer chair.

Coup de Coeur: Conradie Family Vineyards Journey of the Penguin 2007 (R28)

The Aussie euphemism for the physical

consequence of drinking a glass of

wine – pointing Percy at the porcelain –

is unexpectedly explained by the back

label of this easy drinking red from the

Nuy Valley between Worcester and

Robertson. When the MV Treasure, a

Panamanian bulk ore carrier, sank in

Table Bay in June 2000, 1300 tons of

bunker oil were released into the sea

and washed up on the beaches of

Robben and Dassen Islands,

frightening the breeding penguins. 19

000 were evacuated to Cape Recife

near Port Elizabeth and a further 19 000 polluted birds were captured and cleaned up

by an army of schmodels, aspirant actors, hairy sandals and other divers greenies

wintering in Cape Town.

Scientists climbed onto the eco bandwagon and three penguins: Percy, Peter and

Pamela were tagged and monitored. The trio had no time for the tourist delights of PE

and high-tailed it back to the Cape tout suite. Peter arrived first and Percy was delayed

by a romantic dalliance en route. All three eventually made it back to Table Bay. Percy

is immortalized in Aussie barroom etiquette and all three in this funky red blend made

from an underdog grape (Pinotage) in an underdog appellation (Worcester), all most

appropriate. And all those P's: Percy, Peter, Pamella and Pinotage are a gift to

alliterative aesthetes.

This penguin wine is smooth with silky tannins like a penguin‟s slick skin with flavours of

cherries, blackcurrants and plums instead of sashimi. The pocket-sized comedian

Danny DeVito played the Penguin in Batman Returnsand this juicy red will cost you less

than a movie ticket. The first rule of animal labels is that quality is inversely

proportional to the ferocity of the beast depicted. When did you last see an angry

penguin?

When the category for Diners‟ Club Winemaker of the Year Award was “red blends” the

UK queen of wine commentary, Jancis Robinson, was foreign judge and chose a

Shiraz/Cabernet blend, a decision not surprisingly endorsed by local pundits on the

panel. At the time, wags commented that JR must have thought she was in Australia

as Shiraz/Cabernet is the quintessential Aussie recipe. But then, what would a Diners

Club Award be without uproar and hilarity? After much soul searching and posturing,

the industry bowed to common sense and decided that to qualify as a “Cape Blend” a

wine should consist of at least 30% Pinotage, South Africa's contribution to

ampelography, which this one does with ease. Just as well or the Cape penguins would

have complained.

This is a good year for Pinotage blends as 2009 is the 50th anniversary of the first

commercial bottling of Pinotage, a Lanzerac ‟59, released by Stellenbosch Farmers‟

Winery in 1961.

Episode Three: Stomping around the

Swartland GVG itinerary: Tulbagh,Wellington,Riebeek-Kasteel,Riebeek-

West,Paarl. Wednesday afternoon to Friday morning.

Tulbagh is very much in a “pre-gay” phase of

suburban development, before a critical mass of

sensitive souls descend and transform it into a

fashionable destination bristling with bric-a-brac,

Indian head massage parlours and gourmet

foam/jus restaurants.

Oom Kobus Jordaan from Theuniskraal in

Tulbagh has graced more dining room tables

than Mrs. Ball and her chutney or Judy and her

jars of extra hot pickled onions (the best ones,

according to the GVG). His slim bottles of

Riesling are of course a controversial misnomer as the contents is made from Crouchen

Blanc rather than the noble grape of northern Europe, beloved of sommeliers but

impossible to sell. Theuniskraal Riesling must now be called “Cape Riesling” but at least

moves to rename Zinfandel as Crljenak Kastelanski by some Kenilworth anoraks, has

been put on hold.

Oom Kobus has bumped his kop on language problems before. He started the brand

Ixia (“a veldblom from around here”) after noting that foreigners struggle to pronounce

Theuniskraal. Taal wars aside, his unwooded 2008 blend of Semillon and Chardonnay

spoke to the GVG in tongues.

At Rijks, owner Neville Dorrington was in Mauritius (“I need

the sun, this rainy Cape winter is depressing me”) but

assistant winemaker Andre Bruyns was on hand to show us

Neville‟s nuclear option: a Syrah 2007 and a Rhône blend

from the same vintage that will shock and awe local winos

when they burst onto the radar screen of local sighted wine

guides later in the year.

The best place to catch Neville is at the Portuguese

embassy aka Vasco da Gama Tavern in De Waterkant – it‟s

useless to phone as he lives in a bunker with so much steel

and concrete it‟s become de facto Faraday cage and he has

to adjourn to the Saldanha Yacht Club to make and receive calls, which requires a

double brandy each time.

Then off to Riebeek Kasteel which is fully “gay

compliant” with more trendy restaurants and antique

shops than you can shake a stick at. At Riebeek Cellars,

Sakkie Bester showed off some piquant whites and Ou

Olyfie, a ceramic doll from the back catalogue of David

Lynch and an artwork commissioned by the town‟s Olive

Festival several years ago.

At Pulpit Rock in neighbouring Riebeek West, the vegetal

character of the 2008 Sauvignon Blanc reminded GVG of

the late Elizabeth David, the foodie‟s food writer, and her

“most revolting dish ever devised.” An Italian salad with

ingredients:

1 pint cold cooked macaroni

½ pint cooked or tinned pears

½ pint grated raw carrot

French dressing to moisten

2 heaped tablespoons minced onion

½ pint cooked or minced string beans

Method: mix the chopped macaroni and vegetables; moisten with French dressing,

favouring with garlic if liked. Serve on a dish lined with lettuce leaves. Decorate with

mayonnaise and minced pimento or chives.

Tinned pears, string beans and chives would complemented the Pulpit product and at

R24, it‟s in the same price range. The Sauvignon vines have been grubbed up and

stocks are limited, so hopefully there will be no reprise of this combo.

Let‟s hope the Pulpitians have planted Cabernet Sauvignon as the 2005 vintage (R80) is

wow! Exotically spiced cassis nose, intense

blackcurrant flavours. Oak, acids and fruit all in

balance with 14.5% alcohol.

At Vondeling on the Voor-Paardeberg, Matthew

Copeland showcased a remarkable range of

sophisticated whites plus a frutti-tutti Shiraz called

Baldrick, straight out of Black Adder. Willie de

Waal‟s spicy Scali reds were also in the zone and the 2006 Syrah is awesome.

After resuscitation and dinner at Kasteelberg Bistro with Julien Debray and Allan

Barnard and an uneventful night‟s sleep, we checked out the thoroughbreds at the

Perdeberg Co-op the next morning with Heloise Smit.

Then it was off to Veenwouden where Marcel van der

Walt showed us the best SA Chardonnay the GVG had

ever tasted. From the matchless 2007 vintage, only 520

bottles were made and at R325 each they are exclusive

and exquisite.

At Muratie we literally

bumped into owner Rijk

Melck in a German

submariner‟s leather

coat, struggling valiantly against a scrum of British and

Irish Lions supporters in the tasting room who confirmed

that visiting sports supporters are the Wineland‟s best

bet for foreign interest.

Bed-and-breakfasting with James McKenzie at his

Nabygelegen oasis in Wellington‟s Bovlei valley, the neighbours had lined-up an

impromptu tasting of local labels and the GVG was blow away by black empowerment

brand Blouvlei and Five Mountains, a wooded Chenin grown in the misnamed

Patatskloof vineyards.

The GVG arrived early at Avondale on Friday as Vendôme in Paarl was open, but there

was nobody home. We rang the bell twice, petted the dogs and the Honda back seat

being full of wine boxes, decided not to borrow the exquisite riempiestoel in the

atmospheric tasting room. A cellar assistant later in the day suggested that Oom Jannie

must have been busy with broederbond besigheid.

The organic vineyards of Avondale were hosting a conference of spiders, confirming the

absence of noxious chemicals in these fields. Resident spiderman Krige Visser

presented a comprehensive tasting of current release wines with the GVG‟s favourites

the BIO-logic Chenin Blanc 2008 (R49) made in an

oxidative style, the broad spectrum of flavours

(including a touch of oak) finished in a herbal

heather aftertaste.

The 2006 Cabernet Franc (R59) had loads of

opulent sweet red berry fruit. Unoaked, it

confirmed that wood maturation is not always the

best option. The Bordeaux Blend 2004 called Julia (R59, I like to think after Lady Julia

Flyte in Evelyn Waugh‟s Brideshead Revisited as Krige looks a bit like Jeremy Irons

playing Charles Ryder) is an easy-drinking red with a hint of seriousness. Like Charles

Ryder.

GVG‟s final pick was the Avondale Merlot 2005 (R59) with its bright red plummy fruit,

rooibos tea aftertaste and the tannic grip of a Spiderman scaling the canyons of New

York City.

Coup de Coeur: Vondeling Erica Shiraz 2007 (R80)

Vondeling is an up-and-coming new producer in the up-and-coming new Voor-

Paardeberg (or Poor Vaarterberg as a Wine Spectator hack hilariously malapropped it).

While the Paardeberg has been rightly hailed as the source of the best Chenin blanc in

the country, Vondeling winemaker Matthew Copeland has been demonstrating that the

appellation is no one-trick pony. While some UK pundits savage South African reds for

burnt rubber pongs, this cannot occur in Paardeberg fruit as the mountain has not been

burnt for 21 years. Matthew has a simple explanation - there is no public access. The

mountain is surrounded by commercial farms whose owners know better than to play

with matches.

Matthew was previously winemaker at big Schalk Burger‟s

Welbedacht operation in Wellington which is not backwards

in coming forwards for crackerjack Shiraz and this wine has

it all: width, length, depth, intensity and penetration as Iggy

Pop noted. Since Paardeberg was named after quaggas, try

this meaty wine with marinated game.

In fact, this wine is so good, it's a miracle it's not called

Vondeling Erica Syrah. I'm still trying to find out how Erica

Platter got Matthew to name this wine after her. Matthew

may have added some Mourvèdre to this wine as happened

in 2006 if a rogue troop of baboons had not raided the

Mourvèdre vineyard and snarfed all the berries. This troop

are so notorious, a farmer at nearby Kersfontein reports he

saw them riding his cows, bareback. For although the label

may say Shiraz, winemakers are allowed to add up to 15%

of other cultivars and still call it Shiraz.

Episode nine: Train Trouble

The mystery of how places get their names

was solved on Friday. We‟d overnighted at

Paul Cluver‟s small European country cum

wine farm, De Rust in Elgin, where Paul had

cooked us spaghetti Bolognese and plied us

with 2008 vintage Pinot Noir (a great match,

foodies). The railway line from Caledon to Cape Town wriggles through the farm and

to reach Paul‟s lair in the Old Smithy, it‟s necessary to cross the track three times,

which may surprise topologists.

The last crossing is now called Christiaan‟s Crossing after

Christiaan Truter, one lucky farm manager who came

second to a freight train at the end of January. Two trains

run through the farm every day at 6am and 6pm, taking

malt from Caledon to SAB in Cape Town to slake the thirst

of Mother City beer drinkers at Boo Radleys and other city

watering holes.

To avoid “being thrown with stones by kids” train drivers

have taken to ducking at crossings and also “forget” to hoot

to avoid tipping off their stone throwing nemeses. So when

the 6am malt express hit Christiaan‟s bakkie, no one was

more surprised than the train driver. The accident occurred

a stone‟s throw from one of Paul‟s Riesling vineyards, which

could explain why the 2009 vintage is more steely than

usual. The 11g/l residual sugar is camouflaged by huge

acidity better than a ducking train driver and the stoney

mineral character provides lots of ammunition for kids and wine lovers alike.

If the train crossing has been christened to

commemorate the accident, über-designer

Anthony Lane should fire up his Adobe

Acrobat and start designing appropriate

labels: Railway Riesling, perhaps or A Narrow

Escape?

Chapter Ten: GVG’s Hot Hundred

1. Boplaas Cabernet 2006 R32. Imagine a steaming bowl of Spaghetti Bolognaise

on a Tuesday night or with left-over pizza the next morning. Oom Carel recently

found two palates of the stuff in the storeroom – perhaps it‟s time to appoint a

son as storeman. Tel. 044 213 3326.

2. Boplaas Touriga Naçional 2006 R39.50. Liquid fynbos in a glass, rustic tannins

and great with food. A Mollydooker of a wine – a left-handed blow to the buds.

Tel. 044 213 3326.

3. Joubert-Tradauw R62 Syrah 2006 R105. Sweet red berry fruit emerges from a

mist of smoke like a roadtrain on the R62. Tel. 028 572 1619.

4. Zandvliet Sauvignon Blanc 2009 R40. A new dimension is supplied by Overberg

grapes (10%) giving an injection of grass and mustard seeds. Tel. 023 615 1146.

5. Kranskop Chardonnay 2008 R45. Light wooding gives a hint of honey and

butterscotch over a tropical fruit salad with fresh citrus notes. Tel. 023 626 3200.

6. Kranskop Merlot 2007 R45. Fantastic minerality and elegance from Klaasvoogds.

Tel. 023 626 3200.

7. Goedverwacht Crane White 2009 R25. This wine is more consistent than Roger

Federer. Lovely guava flavours. Tel. 023 616 3430.

8. Goedverwacht Rosé 2009 R25. Coral pink. Bracingly fresh with a blast of

strawberries and freshly ground black pepper. Tel. 023 616 3430.

9. Weltevrede The Ring MCC 2006 R82. A Blanc de Blanc (Chardonnay) sparkling

stunner, all chalk and minerals, like something forged on Mount Mordor for

Hobbits and other hedonists. Tel. 023 616 2141.

10. Weltevrede Tricolore White 2008 R35. Fresh peas with mint. Super with Cape

curried fish. Tel. 023 616 2141.

11. Ashton Cellar Chenin Blanc 2009 R25. Great topping for a Hawaiian pizza, order

before French fundis get a sniff. Tel. 023 615 1135.

12. Bon Courage Sauvignon Blanc 2009 R35. Sweaty builder in a lift with a fat lip,

roadblock friendly 12% alcohol. Tel. 023 626 4178.

13. Bon Courage Gewurztraminer 2008 R22. Sweet and sour accompaniment to

Asian noodles. Fine acid balance. Tel. 023 626 4178.

14. Bon Courage Shiraz 2007 R50. Fire in a fynbos forest with lingering leather

notes. Tel. 023 626 4178.

15. Springfield Whole Berry Cabernet 2007 R85. In spite of the name, more mineral

driven than fruit bomb. Impressive intensity. Tel. 023 626 3661.

16. Roodezandt Sauvignon Blanc 2009 R27.50. Tropical fruit salad with zingy

acidity. Tel. 023 626 1160.

17. Roodezandt Keizer‟s Creek dry red 2007 R23.50. Sweet red berry fruits with

some tannic grip. Tel. 023 626 1160.

18. Robertson Winery Beaukett 2009 R20.45. Dry Bukettraube - liquid rose petals

and abstemious 10.5% alcohol. Tel. 023 349 1601.

19. Du Toitskloof Winery Merlot 2007 R50. For a magnum (1.5 litres) of spicy red

cherries. Tel. 023 616 2141.

20. Slanghoek Winery Pinotage 2007 R31. Sweet and spicy red berries with a firm

tannic grip. Tel. 023 344 3026.

21. Theuniskraal Semillon/Chenin 2008. Peaches and apricots with a zing. Tel. 023

230 0687.

22. TJ Light 2009 R28. Fruity Muscat nose, light floral flavours – abstemious 8.5%

alcohol. Tel. 023 23 230 0680.

23. Riebeek Cellars Chardonnay 2008 R26. Tropical fruit salad in a chalky cave. Tel.

022 448 1213.

24. Pulpit Rock Shiraz 2007 R36. Leather and spice with slippery tannins. Tel. 022

461 2025.

25. Vondeling Sauvignon Blanc 2009. Tangy naartjies that linger. Tel. 021 869 8595.

26. Perdeberg Chenin Blanc 2009 R23.50. Benchmark for tropical fruit expression

Chenin. Tel. 021 869 8244.

27. Veenwouden Vivat Bacchus White 2009 R75. A classy Condrieu doppelgänger

with more excitement than a pocket full of frogs. Tel. 021 872 6806.

28. Boland Cellars Sixty-40 2009 R27.25. A GVG stalwart, light, fresh and fruity. Tel.

021 862 6190.

29. Muratie Melck‟s Rosé 2009 R30. Pomegranate pink with sophisticated

persistence and abundant elegance. Tel. 21 865 2330.

30. Avondale Cabernet Franc 2006 R59. Opulent sweet red fruit without the vampire

succubus of oak aging. Tel. 021 863 1976.