CEISESSIONS 5 & 6

BASIC COUNSELLING SKILLS-II

ACTIVE LISTENINGPractice Exercises

S- Sit facing the client Squarely. This assures the client that s/he has your attention.

O- Be Open in your posture. Do not close yourself off by rigidly crossing arms and legs.

L- Lean slightly towards the client in an attitude of interest. E- Establish Eye contact with the client, but avoid staring. R- Relax and don’t fidget. Try to adopt a natural posture in

relation to the client.

(Egan, 1994)

HEAD NODDING

1. Take turns as ‘Talker’ and ‘Listener’

2. ‘Talker’ talks for 5 minutes

3. ‘Listener’ experiments with nodding head through these combinations: Almost continual head nodding No head nodding at all Occasional but exaggerated head nodding ‘Normal’ head nodding

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

1. Hold a conversation in pairs for 10 minutes (switch earlier roles)

2. Experiment with facial expressions through: Maintaining a ‘blank’ expression Exaggerate facial expression while listening Increase amount of blinking Hold head to one side Change the position of your head Maintain a ‘normal’/ ‘neutral’ facial expression

Silence Pair off Sit in complete silence for 5 minutes and experiment with:

1. Maintaining full eye contact

2. Making no eye contact at all

3. Changing facial expressions During this, notice:

1. What feels comfortable about the silence

2. What feels uncomfortable

3. What behaviors seem to make the silence more uncomfortable

4. Point at which you feel compelled to look away from partner

What should you listen for?

Identify experiences, thoughts, behaviors emotions and strengths.

“Toward the end of the day my boss yelled at me in front of some of my colleagues for not landing an order from a new customer. I lost my temper and yelled right back at him. He blew up and fired me on the spot. I really think that he’s a jerk and the company should not tolerate people like him in supervisory positions And now I feel awful and am trying to find out if I really have been fired and, if so, if I can get my job back. I have every intention to fight this; it’s unjust.”

Verbal Communication Skills

Reflection Paraphrasing Questioning & Probing Summarizing Small rewards

Paraphrasing & Reflecting Skills

Client : I feel terrible.

Counsellor : You feel terrible.

Client : I feel really terrible.

Counsellor : You feel really terrible.

Client : For two cents I would jump out of that window there.

Counsellor : For two cents you would jump out of that window there.

Client : Here I go.

Counsellor : There you go.

Client :[Lands on the pavement below with a thud.]

Counsellor : Thud!

Reflection Skills CONTENT

Focuses on fact(s)of what is said.

Rewording/ rephrasing speakers’ verbal utterances.

Needs a good memory & vocabulary

First step in learning to respond to their combined vocal, body and verbal messages.

FEELING

The ability to pick up and play back the emotional content of what is said.

Closely related to empathy. Needs a feeling or emotion

‘vocabulary’

“Paraphrasing”

“Reflecting”

Practice: Paraphrasing Skills

Try rephrasing the following statements without significantly altering their meaning:

Student: I can’t keep up with the amount of work. I’ve got behind with my assignment. I’ll never pass the exams.

Colleague: I keep having these stomach upsets. I don’t think it’s anything I’ve eaten. I worry because of the redundancies.

Elderly Person: It’s not like it was when I was young. Things have really changed, and not always for the better. Sometimes, I feel as if I’m living on another planet.

Nurse: Some patients really seem ungrateful. No matter what you do for them they just moan.

Practice: Reflecting Skills

Reflect back the feeling(s) which seem to be present in the following statements: Trainee: It’s all very well. You told me to go on that course, and it

was rubbish. I learned nothing and I’ve wasted all that money. Colleague: It’s no good. I’d really like to tell him how I feel, but I just

haven’t got the confidence. I’m just not assertive. Friend: I don’t quite know how to express my reaction to finding a

job at last … possibly pleased … a weight off my mind … unsure of myself …

Elderly Person: I’m sorry, but I think you’re just too young to understand. Nice of you to try dear but it just won’t work.

Subordinate: “I’m happy, but scared at what is involved in getting promoted.”

Reflection Practice: Using Paraphrasing & Reflection in tandem

“Divya, when you were talking about your difficulties in settling in here (paraphrasing) you sounded almost wistful (reflecting) as if perhaps you’d like to feel settled, but don’t quite see how to achieve it.” Both act as a ‘mirror’

Assures speaker of your listening

Makes speaker feels heard & understood

Help client clarify thoughts and identify feelings

Help ease client’s self- consciousness

Useful in responding to silence

Should be tentative

Questioning & Probing Skills

Closed questions• “Is your relationship good or bad?”• “Is she a nice person?”

Leading questions• “Your relationship is quite stressful/ bad/ horrible, isn’t it?”• “She’s a great person, isn’t she?”

Open ended questions• “How do you feel about your relationship?”• “What do you think about her?”

Beginning with…

What Why How

Could When Where

Practice: Turn these closed questions into open ones

Have you told your parents about this? Have you been feeling sad for long? Are you very upset about this? Do you always stamp your feet when you’re angry? Do you always just go quiet like this?

Small Rewards

Uh-hmm Sure And … So … Really Oh? Right Then … Yes

Please continue Tell me more Go on I see… I hear you…. Repeat the last word a

client has said:

Client : I’m feeling anxious.

Counsellor : Anxious.

Practice: Using small rewards, reflection, paraphrasing and open-ended questions

Work with a partner. Choose ‘Talker’ and ‘Listener roles’. The ‘Talker’ spends a few minutes to identify a concern. During

this focusing period, attend to emerging feelings as well as emerging thoughts.

As a ‘Listener’, start interviewing your partner by using mainly small rewards, reflection, paraphrasing and open-ended questions to help her/him to share her/his concern.

Allow your partner responsibility and control over what material she or he presents.

Switch roles

Summarizing Skills“A summary is not the mechanical pulling together of a number of

facts.”(Egan, 1992)

Utilises paraphrasing and reflecting, but in a rather condensed way

Feeds back overall picture to the speaker, not a response to each individual point

Invites client to choose focus of discussion

“Of all the things you’ve mentioned (and we’ll come back to each one if you need to), which one would it be most helpful to talk about first?’

‘Figure and ground’

“Of all the things you’ve told me about, the one that seemed to matter most was losing your independence. If I’m right, would it be helpful to discuss that

first and then come back to the other issues?’

Johari Window Self AssessmentAN EXERCISE FOR SELF AWARENESS AND FEEDBACK

Joseph Luft & Harry Ingham

Learning Journal Assignment

Reflect on who you worked with during skill training today:

Did you feel that he/ she responded with empathy to the situation(s) you presented?

What was your overall assessment of this person’s skill? (0- 10)

What did she/ he do well w.r.t the task assigned?

What could he/ she have done better? Or

What skills should he/ she work to improve?