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Table of Contents CCA Youth Services Literary Magazine February 2009

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Table of Contents

CCA Youth Services Literary Magazine

February 2009

Table of Contents Youth Submissions……………………………………………………………………..p. 5 Creative Writing………………………………………………………………...p. 6 First-person accounts, personal testimony…………………………………….p. 12 Artwork………………………………………………………………………..p. 28

3

Adult Submissions…………………………………………………………………….p. 44

YYoouutthh SSuubbmmiissssiioonns

5

s

Big Jam

The kid got caught up in a big jam,

That only got me 4 months in a program

I was tight, but it turned out all right.

Its whateva imma ride

Out for mine

Yeah I did it, yeah I got caught with dat knife

98th St. were da D’s read me my rights

I was a minor, so u no they had two call my moms

Slap the cuffs on me -n- then he said stay calm.

He was cool, but the fool still lock me up.

He only did his job.

So, I had 2 suck it up

All the problems, yeah of course it’s makes me stay in school.

But don’t get it twisted, I still handle mine.

By: A. Downie

Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program

6

Creative Writing Assignment:

Write a letter to your future child about the recent presidential election.

November 5, 2008

Dear Cynthia,

The last week in America has been shocking to the whole country. The first

African American Presided has been elected. He goes by the name of Barack Obama.

Americans were surprised to see this and now there are high expectations for everyone.

I’m very shocked myself to even be alive to witness this. Barack is paving the future for

other African Americans to live good in this country. I wasn’t alive to witness Dr. Martin

Luther King Jr., but I was for Barack Obama. Maybe someday there will be another black

president, but it won’t be as shocking as the first one.

Yours truly,

S. Wilson

Youth Participant

ATD After School Program

7

Poems Look at Me When you look at me, I know you think of a real G. When you look at me wrong, I keep my head up and stay strong. THE ONLY WAY OUT IS… The only way out is through. The only way out is you. Depends on the breath you take, The only way out is the choices you make. Sleeping everyday until you hear someone say, The only way out is have it your way. Not so sad so release your stress, The only way out is to do your “Beat.” Love Red, sweet Trust, honesty, forgiving Everyone needs love always Love Trees Brown, hard Branches, leaves, barks Trees bring real oxygen Nature Apples Green, crunchy, Chewing, eating, cutting Apples taste very juicy Fruit Reckless My brother so happy, But he is reckless. He don’t can it a chain, He calls it a necklace. He does bad stuff, He don’t want fight, He wants to snuff.

8

Hateful The word hateful is very strong, The word fight goes very wrong. If not that nothing less, Use the work “like” that’s the best. About Jackie Neat, Intelligent, Tall, Talented Angela & Robert Pizza, Money, Women Sullen, Ecstatic, Combative N war, No violence, Keep the ozone Hawaii, Peace, Future N.Y.C. Robinson About Deven Sloppy, Uneducated, Short, Very Disruptive Lurran & Michael Gangs, Violence, Jail Inflamed, Belligerent, Glum Penitentiary, Riker’s Island, Bookins Philadelphia Jimson Clerihew When you look at me, I know think of a real g. When you look at me wrong, I keep my head up and stay Strong Grapes Grapes are really sweet Purple fruits or very Delicious Grapes are really good Rice Rice is really good White grain or red grain are good Rice is really little

9

10

Snow Blow Snow Blow is a dog I thought we had for life, Until last November when he lost his life. Snow Blow was a dog going through stress He was the only dog we knew the best. And if someone came in the house he didn’t know, He’d put their foot in his mouth and bite off their toe Snow Blow went left and right, The closes dog we held so tight. But after my grandfather passed, We knew that was Snow Blow’s last.

By: D. Richards Youth Participant

CSP Program

Poetry

LOVE

Love is quite and humble

Love can be a riot or a rumble

Love is like holding a football

hoping not to fumble

With Love you can’t be afraid

to stumble

Love can be so beautiful or

can crumble

People without love are like

bees without the bumble

LIFE

Life is good, life is bad

The life of a hood is sad

Live is unpredictable, you’re

always taking risks

Life can be a treat or a trick

In life you can met friends or

pricks

When life come to an end

you hope you had a kick

11

By: S. G.

Drew Fraser Comes to CCA

Drew Fraser is a comedian who hosted “Bad Boys of Comedy.” He visited CCA

on July 22, when Mr. Eugene Reed invited him. We saw a clip of the show and then Mr.

Fraser spoke about how his career started and how Eddie Murphy inspired him when he

was young. I thought that he was really funny. When he joked, he wasn’t offensive and

he spoke clearly, so I could understand what he was saying.

He asked the audience what they would like to do when they were older and then

he would continue to question people to see if they were really committed to the career

that they had chosen. Drew also said that when he was growing up, kids said that being a

comedian wasn’t a career. But, Drew Fraser didn’t listen. He knew what he wanted to do

when he grew up, so he became a comedian, which made him very successful in life.

By: D. Victorin

Youth Participant

12

Afterschool/ATD Program

CCA Trip to “A Bird’s Eye View” On Thursday, August 28, 2008, we went to Manhattan to see a play. When we got there, I

thought it was going to be boring, but when we sat down, the characters started to talk

about how hard it is growing up in the ‘hood with no money.

One kid went to selling drugs, because he got a girl pregnant and couldn’t support the

child. When he started selling drugs, he realized that it wasn’t the way to go. He stopped

selling and he knew that selling drugs was fake.

In the end, he figured out that his girl had had an abortion, but he stayed off selling drugs

anyway. Two guys planned to kill him because he had stopped selling drugs, but when

they got there, they couldn’t kill him, because they had known him for so long.

In the end, the play wasn’t boring at all and I really liked it after all.

By: M. Santamarco

Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program

13

Six Flags Trip

Give me one reason why I would want to get up at 6:00AM on a hot summer day. You don’t know why? Well I’ll tell you, because it was no ordinary summer day. It was August 20, the day of CCA’s 2008 Six Flags trip. I had been waiting for this day ever since Ms. Trina handed me my permission slip. I hadn’t been going to After School consistently, so I was scared I wouldn’t get to go. I called Ms. Tiffany and asked if I had been picked to go. She said she would check and call back. It was now the day of the trip and I still hadn’t got a call back, but I was confident I would go. I woke up at 5:00 AM and jumped in the shower. I got dressed and I was out the door by 6:10. Ms. Trina had told us the bus would leave at 7:30, but we should be there at 7:00 AM . We sat there and waited for the bus and while we waited they were assigning kids to chaperones. My heart was racing with fears of not being picked. My heart was pounding until I heard them call my name and they handed me a yellow T-shirt. The bus came late, but we were happy it showed up. We were packed and ready to go. We were off to Six Flags! It was an hour-long trip, but we finally made it. Everybody split up into groups and headed inside the park. The first ride I went on was called The Great American Scream Machine. It had five loops and it felt like your body was flying out the car. I went on other rides,such as Skull Mountain, El Toro and The Nitro, but none was as heart stopping as The King Da Ka. The King Da Ka was a roller coaster that felt like you were free falling with no parachute. Six Flags was a blast. We left at 4:30PM. Everyone fell asleep on the way back and before we knew it we were back at CCA ready to get dismissed. Six Flags was fun and I would like to thank the staff for allowing us to have a great day out and letting us drag them on every roller coaster at the CCA Six Flags 2008 trip.

By: K. Primus

Youth Participant

14

Afterschool/ATD Program

CCA’s Thanksgiving Party

On November 25th, 2008, which happened to fall on a Tuesday, The Center for

Community Alternatives held its second annual Thanksgiving party for the youth

members.

It was astounding! There was music, food, and people of course. There was

turkey, stuffing, cornbread, which was my favorite. There was also lasagna, macaroni and

cheese, and for desert, devil’s food cake, pie, and cookies. In my opinion, it was a great

experience for the youth: a comfortable environment, and CCA employees who I know

are out to see me achieve greatness.

As stated by: The United Negro College Fund,

“ A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.”

I believe that anyone can achieve what he or she sets his or her mind to. People

who I happen to idealize have always told me I can be whatever I would like to be, and I

believe that applies to anyone and everyone.

In conclusion the CCA is an organization to help the youth today set themselves

on the right track in society.

By: A. Petrizzo

Youth Participant

YAP Program

15

September 11th, 2001 It was a beautiful September day in the year 2001, six days after my ninth

birthday. I was in school and it was lunchtime. There was a huge panic. My friends were

saying there were ninjas on the roof.

The next thing I knew, my principal had come to pick me up from the cafeteria

and brought me back to the office. Waiting there for my arrival was my grandmother

from my mother’s side of the family. Walking through her neighborhood towards her

apartment building, she was briefing me about the situation that had really occurred.

While watching the news, I learned more. A plane had hit one of the World Trade

Center towers. My mom worked down the block from it and my step-dad worked in the

World Trade Center. He had attended work that day. Unfortunately, he was stationed in

the basement of the first building to receive damage from a plane. I was nervous.

Later that evening my step-dad was stating that it was like an action movie, with

fire and falling buildings, smoke and debris. My mother, on the other hand, worked for

the government at the time, for an agency known as GSA in the Alexander Hamilton

United States Custom House. Both my parents were safe and once again able to protect

their offspring.

By: A. Stokes

Youth Participant

CSP Program

16

Testimony

Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen;

My name is A. Fletcher and I am 16 years old. I started attending programming at CCA

in September of 2007. Before doing so I was walking a very disruptive path in my life by

beginning to follow the wrong friends during and after school. This was the only time

that I had associated with any friends. My mom was not the type of person that let her

children go hangout or go anywhere, she did not even let us sit in front of the apartment

building or wherever we liked. She has always said that this is for our own good. She

does the best she can to keep us from being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She

used to say the only friend we have is our parents, along with our brothers and sisters.

My mom is one of the toughest mom’s that I know, she is strict and will remain that way

until she dies.

I was arrested for robbery and my mother received the phone call she was never hoping

to get. She was furious, but stood by me because of her love for me. I was arrested and

given a second chance at life by a Judge who allowed me to attend programming at CCA.

It was a bumpy road and I had many ups and downs for a while even getting in some

trouble again. I spent a little bit of time in Riker’s, a place where it was “every man for

himself” and I was attacked by another inmate. After I was released from Riker’s, I was

immediately transported to Chicago by the Department of Homeland Security for

unresolved immigration issues. My experience in detention was simply horrible.

When I returned home, these experiences made me realized that I really needed to make a

positive change in my life. I sat back and thought to myself about all the dangerous

things my mother used to warn me of. They were all happening to me. Everything

started to replay itself in my head. I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time with

the wrong company. I realized that I had to take advantage of the chance that the Judge

gave me and really focus on the programs at CCA.

17

At CCA I have been able to “give back” by doing community service. I helped to clean

up Fort Tyron Park at park day, I have volunteered to help people with disabilities and

even worked at a soup kitchen. I am doing better in school and this past July I was

named CCA Star of the Month.

CCA has helped me and many other young men and women become better people. It

will continue to do so as long as its doors remain open to those who need help finding

their future. I know that what I have to do is take time to learn and exercise the skills

CCA has taught. It is places like CCA that ensure we have a better country. Without

places like CCA there would be more crime because more people would be harmed by

incarceration.

CCA staff made me feel welcome and at home. The afterschool programming and

activities helped me. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to have attended CCA and

am grateful to everyone involved in my case; my lawyer, my mom, my case managers,

my court advocate, and Judge Padro.

Thank you.

By: A. Fletcher

Youth Participant

YAP Program

18

U. N. Testimony of M. Gardner

February 2008 Thank you for allowing me to testify her today about racial discrimination in the juvenile justice system in the United States. My name is M. Gardner and I live in New York City. I am now 17 years old. In October 2006, when I was 15 years, I was convicted of a crime. Even though I was only 15, I was charged and sent to an adult court. I was arrested with my brother. We were both sent to a detention center where I stayed fo ra month. The detention center was full of kids like me, young black men. It is not surprising that detention centers are filled with black youth because of how the cops profile and target young black men, especially when we go into white or mostly white neighborhoods. After a month in detention, the judge released me and gave me another chance. I was mandated to attend a program at the Center for Community Alternatives, called CCA> I had to participate in the program for a year. At first I didn’t know anything about the program. But the year went by very fast because CCA is an excellent program. I met many new great people and the staff took me many places and showed me that I could have a life that didn’t involve the streets or crime. I was lucky. Many of the kids in detention did not get out and eventually were sent upstate. In the U.S. young people, and especially young black mean are not given the opportunity to have a second chance. If they commit a crime, they are treated like adults and made to do their time. But that doesn’t really help them at all. That just messes up their education and their life. I don’t know a lot about the United Nations and treaty to End Racial Discrimination. But I can tell you that the United States has a long way to go. The United States government should face up to how many young black men are in prison. Most of us start in the juvenile justice system. To live up to the UN treaty, the United States should stop using detention and incarceration and support alternative programs that help young people achieve our dreams.

By: M. Gardner

Youth Participant

19

YAP Program

20

“I AM CHANGED” Journal Entry Written on 9/11/2008

Being in CCA changed me a lot and made me see many things more clearer. I

realized that there are a lot of other after school program that I could have attended in

order to stay out of trouble & make my mother more proud. It also made me realize that

this is a chance for myself and others to prove they have made mistake in life & still can

do better. In life people make mistakes, but what is more important is that people can

learn from them. I have made mistakes in life that I am learning from, choose my friends

is very important to me because I don’t want bad influence around me. Going to college

is one of my achievements that I would like to accomplish because I want to make my

family proud & I also would like to enjoy the college life. With my achievement it’s

going to take a lot out of me. “Change” is a must & that is something that I have been

working on. This program is helping me change & become a better person.

By: A. Scotland

Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program

Juvenile client’s letter to his sentencing Judge prior to his exit from the

YAP Program

June, 8, 2008

Dear Judge,

I would rather be in the program than locked up. I thought the program was going to be trouble

before I got here because I thought I would have to fight every day. In my neighborhood it’s like

jail because you have to fight a lot. When I arrived at the program I thought I would fight but

after all I didn’t. The kids in the program were friendly and the staff too.

When I first got in the program the kids and I used to play games, watch TV, go on computers,

and have group. When I was here for two weeks we started going to the back to see the teacher,

for help with homework or they would give you work. [The teacher] at CCA told me to she use to

teach at MLK, and I ask her if she knows my sister and she said yes.

Being in the program helps me stay out of trouble because I have to come almost every day and I

have to stay in the house after 6.When the staff told me I had to be in this program for a year I

was like Oh my god, because it’s a long time but before I knew it my time is almost over.

For now my plan is to stay out of trouble.

By: D. Diaz

Youth Participant

21

YAP Program

Personal Experience

They were just eyeballing him. These low-lifes, thugs, whatever people call them

nowadays. The whole time, they were watching him. He knew something was going to

happen in just a matter of seconds. He was outnumbered. As he saw them approach him,

he got ready to run.

As they saw this happening, they got a head start and surrounded him. They

started talking to him and asked him a variety of questions. I saw his expression and he

was scared. He shook his head, denying something that they asked him. A crew? He

owed them money? Who knew? Only God.

They got mad with him and pulled a machete out. Then he started running, but

one pulled him back. When the other cut his chest across, he fell and let out a cry. As this

happened, everyone else beat him down. Someone called the authorities and in a matter

of minutes the ambulance came.

The cops were asking for witnesses. I knew better than to say anything, for the

eyes on the street are more powerful than someone who opens his mouth.

By: A. Torres

Youth Participant

22

CSP Program

Community Service Project

On Wednesday, December 3rd, myself and a few others participated in helping out at a

local soup kitchen called Neighbors Together. It was a terrific experience for me,

because I was able to accumulate a certain sense of understanding. Understanding for

people who attend that restaurant. I’ve realized that not everyone and their families can

afford food and also the fact that some people have to make a choice between having one

necessity over another.

I also realized that not everyone can be fortunate enough to have most or all of the

necessities. I really enjoyed my time at that place because it opened my eyes to another

understanding of reality.

By: C. Williams

Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program and CSP Program

23

Service Trip to Neighbors Together

On Wednesday, December 10, 2008, Mr. Robinson invited me to help serve dinner at a

soup kitchen run by Neighbors Together. Alejadro met us there and the staff gave us

instructions.

When dinner started, my job was to put food on the plate for each person who came to

eat. There were a lot of adults of different ages and also about ten young kids of eleven or

twelve.

I had a good experience and I would love and hope to do it again.

By: M. Torkah

Youth Participant

RAI/ATD Program

24

Community Service at Neighbors Together

My time at the soup kitchen was a good experience. It gave me time to think

about my life and to be thankful that I don’t have to eat at a place like that. It also gave

me time to think more about my life in the future. Not all of the people there were what I

expected. Not all of them were homeless or jobless. I guess it’s just that some people

don’t have the money and its getting harder now that we’re kind of going through a

recession.

The soup kitchen was nice and it was comfortable for the people who were eating

and spending time there. The food was also good. As I served the food, I felt good to be

there and to give the people what they need and to serve the community right.

By: N. Henriquez

Youth Participant

25

CSP Program

CCA Love Week 2008

During the “CCA love week” celebration we organized certain activities such as

two book drives to two different OCFS facilities, and a clothes drive to a homeless

shelter. The books that were donated originally came from various high schools and

different people. One half of the books were sent to an all boys facility called Ella

McQueen and the other half of the books were sent to an all girls facility called Brooklyn

Residential.

I myself joined the voyage to deliver the books to Ella McQueen. When we got

there we were disappointed that we were unable to meet some of the residents in the

facility. Fortunately for the girls that went to Brooklyn Residential they were not only

able to meet some of the residents they were able to converse with them. According to

the girls they really enjoyed spending time with each other, and they learning a lot from

that experience.

The clothes drive was also something special, because we found it in our hearts to

give something to someone who really needed it. When the children got to the homeless

shelter they were greeted with open arms. They were welcomed like brothers. The folks

welcomed the gifts but the welcomed the company even more. When the kids left the

shelter they left new friends and gained new thoughts.

By: C. Williams

Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program and CSP Program

26

CCA Love Week 2008

I’m happy to inform you that our “CCA Love Week” week has been a success. We’ve

had tremendous participation from not only staff members of CCA but also the students

in our residential after school programs. We participated in activities such as book drives

to a male “OCFS” facility and also a female “OCFS” facility, in addition to a clothes

drive to a homeless shelter, but I must say that as much helping the community matters to

everyone at CCA I must admit that our most spectacular performance had to have been

our “Valentines Day Open Mic Night” celebration.

On Valentines Day CCA held an “Open Mic Night” performance. It was a terrific

experience for everyone that attended the performance. I personally think that it gave

everyone an enlightening insight of different characteristics and personalities of the CCA

family. We had a variety of different performances that came on stage and did their thing,

we had rap, comedy, R&B, and even poetry. Each performance presented more and more

surprises.

Even our host was terrific he had the whole audience in tears from start to

finish. He presented awards to improved students in the after school

program. He handed out gift cards to staff members both old and new. His

performance was great he recited two poems one of his own and another by

some one else. He did them well and when time came for him to close out he

did it well. The whole night was fun right up until the end, it was great.

By: C. Williams

Youth Participant

27

Afterschool/ATD Program and CSP Program

28

By: A. Edison

Youth Participant RAI/ATD Program

By: D. Victorin

Youth Participant

29

Afterschool/ATD Program

George Catlin, “The W of the Iowas” 1844/1845 hite Cloud: Head Chief

30

By: J. Figgures

Youth Participant Afterschool/ATD Program and CSP Program

31

George A. Hayes, “Bare Knuckles,” 1870/1885

I picked this picture because I just signed up for boxing class.

his looks like an illegal fight because the men are boxing ring is somewhere no one knows and the

ring is made of sticks and ropes.

Bare knuckle fighting is illegal because it is very rough and you can get very hurt.

By: S. Feliz

Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program

This doesn’t look like a legal fight. Tfighting with bare knuckles. Also, the

Grant Wood, “Haying,” 1939

This National Gallery of Art painting reminds me of my childhood. When I was a little boy I was living down South and this painting reminds me of

the good time I had playing in the grass with my little brother and my play football, four against four. Socousins. We used to metimes we used

treehouses. I chose this picture because it just caught my eyes. It reminded me and the bad.

Afterschool/ATD Program

to get hurt and the sky in the picture reminds of me of the pain I had in my childhood. The trees remind m of the fun times I had building e

of good times

By: K. Thomas

32

Youth Participant

33

By: Anonymous Youth Participant

Six Flags T-Shirt Design Entry

34

By: J. Lancaster

Youth Participant RAI/ATD Program

Six Flags T-Shirt Design Entry

By: J. Peraza Youth Participant

35

Afterschool/ATD Program

Six Flags T-Shirt Design Entry

By: M. Serrano

Youth Participant Afterschool/ATD Program

36

m

By: C. Williams Youth Participant

37

Afterschool/ATD Program and CSP Progra

38

Merry Christmas

By: R. Williams Youth Participant

RAI/ATD Program

39

By: N. Henriques Youth Participant

CSP Program

40

By: N. Henriques Youth Participant

CSP Program

41

By: N. Henriques Youth Participant

CSP Program

42

man

Youth Participant

By: N. Hy

RAI/ATD Program

43

By: S. Feliz Youth Participant

Afterschool/ATD Program

AAdduulltt

ssuubbmmiissssiioonnss

44

MY PROPOSAL FROM LEVEL 1 TO LEVEL 2 I STARTED WOMEN’S CROSSROADS PROGRAM On September 7, 2007. I WAS SENT HERE FROM BROOKLYN SUPREME COURT. I DIDN’T WANT TO BE HERE BUT I STAYED. I LEARNED HOW TO CO GER AND I STARTED OPENING UP WITH MY PEERS AND SE MANAGER. AND THEY HELPED ME GET COMFORTABLE W .

NTROL MY FEELINGS AND MY AN STAFF AND MOST OF ALL MY CAITH MY READING AND MY MATH

EMBARASSED I HAD NOT FINISHED SCHOOOL, AND NOW I HAVE MAACK TO SCHOOL. I GO TO THE MID MANHATTAN LEARNING CENT

BECAUSE I WAS DE MY MIND UP TO GO B ER. I ALSO GO TO NA AND AA MEETINGS. I HAVE A SPONSOR THAT IS GOING TO HELP ME WITH MY 12 STEPS. SHE IS GOING TO GUIDE ME THROUGH MY RECOVERY

CHEETED WHEN I WAS USING CRACK COCAINE, I CHEATED MYSELF FROM MY EDUCATION. I DID THINGS THAT WERE OUT OF MY CONTROL. WHEN I WANTED TO SAY NO I SAID YES JUST FOR THE NEXT ONE.

I HAVE WORKED ON MY TRIGGERS SUCH AS WHEN I SEE PEOPLE AND DEALERS THAT I USED WITH NOW IT DOESN’T AFFECT ME. I CAN CALL MY SPONSOR AND PEERS AND FRIENDS THAT ARE POSITIVE IN MY LIFE.

NOW I FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOOD FOR ME—MY HEALTH, MY EDUCATION, MY RECOVERY. I HAVE COMPLETED ASSIGNMENT 1 & 2 OF MISSION STATEMENT. I HAVE STARTED A RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN. I SUBMIT TO RANDOM URINE, I HAVE A BUDGET. $

I HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT.

45

I ALSO HAVE GAINED MORE LOVE FOR MYSELF. I GO TO ALL MY DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS WHICH I DIDN’T DO WHEN CHASING THE NEXT HIGH

By: V. Davis

Adult Participant

Women’s Crossroads Program

46

I am honest

I deserve a better life

ty I deserve loyalty

I will get my children I will have a better life I will have a home

I will go to school

By: S. Lee

Adult Participant

My declaration to myself I am a good mother I am smart I am independent I am caring

I am reliable I am a good friend I am respectful I am proud I am who I always will be ME

I deserve my children

I deserve love I deserve respect I deserve hones

I deserve peace I deserve a home

I will have a job

I will be proud of myself I will continue my sobriety I will complete this program

Women’s Crossroads Program

Sta submitting my proposal for phase movement from stabilization to early recovery.

I came home on March 14, 2008. I did 2 years in Beacon. I went to see my parole

officer and asked him if I could go to a treatment program so I can get my life

together, and he said yes. The first place he sent me was a one day a week program

but being that I just came home I said I need something longer. I don’t want to get

hig ice was crack cocaine and I am tired of doing the

same thing over and over again. He sent me here to CCA, March 28, 2008. I started

this program March 31, 2008. I didn’t like my case manager at first because she

w ow I know she was trying to help me because she seen

something in me that I didn’t see in myself and I thank her and all the case

managers for that. I got something out of every group and it’s not all about how

people feel it’s about how I feel right now and I’m sick and tired of doing the same

thing over and over again. I want to stay clean and nobody can stop me from

reac ant to get my GED and go back to school. I want to live a

clean and sober life. I’m glad I got my kids and family for support. I also have my

peers and case managers for support.

My goals are to stay clean, get a part time job, have my GED and my own apartment and maybe

become a home health aide.

My support network is my fam and my NA meetings.

I can love myself today. I take care of m ay I am open to any additional

information an r day.

I want to thank all of my counselors for helping me on the journey to find me!

By: R. Watkins

Adult Participant

Women’s Crossroads Program

bilization to Early Recovery

I am

h no more. My drug of cho

as hard on me, but n

hing my goals. I w

someday

ily, my peers

e and my kids. Tod

47

d jewels that keep me clean anothe

Proposal for phase movement to middle recovery

I am giving my proposal for phase movem om early recovery to middle recovery. I

find my healthy self.

ent fr

have been in this program for 8 months. I have been sober for the entire time I have been here in program. I have been sober for 2 years. When I came here I did not want to be here. I did not want to share in groups- I did not trust anyone- I did not want everyone in my business. I got tired of holding stuff in so I decided to get it off my shoulders. I learned that holding it in leads to relapse. After sharing I felt better- I got rid of my dirt and let people carry it around for me. I started to feel positive every day I woke up and didn’t pick up. I knew it was time for me to get my life together. Everything I wanted to do I started to do. I shared my feelings about my past and felt relieved. I went to Adaptive Design and got back on track and into working. When I finished there I wanted to keep working. I found CEO-they are helping me find a job-They are helping me be independent. I am ready to move forward with confidence. I am still open to any information that will help me stay clean and sober another day. I learned how to not judge a book by its cover. I learned how to rely on peers. I learned that if you put your mind to it you can do anything-you need to fight for what you want and don’t give up on yourself. I am prepared to lead an independent life. I know my triggers and how to fight an urge to relapse. I know I will succeed. I would like to thank all of the counselors and my peers for their support and helping me

By: R. Watkins

Adult Participant

48

Women’s Crossroads Program

49

I started the pro I first came to this program I really o me because I didn’t’ t believe my habit was really an myself I didn’t have a habit and I would continue to smoke if I wanted even if I have to go to this program. I did continue to

I just wanted to avoid all problems in my fe that I was experiencing at that time. I was struggling with getting my kids back and trying to

e ean urines

e. I know I want my kids and my own home. She said “ how are ou supposed to get to your goals when you are choosing the drug over your children”. From that

have been clean since 7/24/08. I have worked on obtaining housing; I am in the

blems. I am cused on regaining my children and working towards this goal every day. I have

am ready to move to the next phase where I hope to strengthen my self-reliance by

y goal is to finish what I started- I will see this program through to graduation.

Women’s Crossroads Program

gram on 5/20/08. I was mandated to complete this program. When didn’t want to be here. I didn’t think this program would be any help t

addiction. I told

smoke for about 2 months into the program. I was told by my case manager that if I didn’t stop smoking I would be going into a long term program. I didn’t take that seriously due to circumstances and situations that I was going through.limaintain my outside life at the same time. All of this was taking a toll on me at one point, so I said to myself there has to be a better way. The only way it will get better is if I make it better. I did not share much with my peers or cas

anager in the beginning. I started to see my peers maintaining sobriety and giving clmand I wanted that to be me. I wanted my case manager’s praise and my peers were my inspiration to do so. I was talking to my case manager about my plans for my future. She made me think about what I want for my futurypoint on I stopped smoking. I have now met a number of my goals since then. It felt good to know that someone really cared about the way I was living my life. I would like to say thank you to my case manager for the inspiration and the courage to challenge me to change. I process of getting unsupervised visits with my kids; I have a possibility for employment; I am improving my self esteem daily. Since I have been sober, I recognize that I use drugs to avoid feelings and profobecome comfortable with the program, my peers and the staff. I finding employment, maintaining visits with my kids, and maintaining a positive outlook. M

By: Anonymous

Adult Participant

The Center for Community Alternatives (CCA) is a leader in the field of community-

based alternatives to incarceration. Our mission is to promote reintegrative justice and a

reduced reliance on incarceration through advocacy, services and public policy

development in pursuit of civil and human rights.

For more information on any of CCA’s programs, please visit our website at

www.communityalternatives.org

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