Moroni's War on AddictionAnonymous

I'll never forget the sick, helpless feeling I had when it became undeniably clear my son was using heroin.

We live in a nice Utah Valley neighborhood and are surrounded by families whose children serve missions, go to college and marry in the temple. We expected all of our children would do the same. My wife and I were married in the temple. We love our Savior. We built our family around the Gospel and worked hard to repent of our own sins and live as well as we know how.

The problems began small. In middle school Paul was caught with marijuana in his locker and suspended from school. At first it felt like a punch to the gut, but realizing we had both made dumb mistakes in our lives we reconciled ourselves to our children's opportunity to choose their own dumb mistakes. We committed ourselves to facing whatever twists and turns their lives presented us—even if their sins were different than ours had been.

Then things got worse. Over the next few years deceit and theft became more frequent. When Paul began to complain of headaches we took him to doctor after doctor. Even powerful migraine prescriptions seemed to give him no relief from the symptoms he claimed to have. He began sleeping longer and longer—which at first we attributed to his attempt to get relief from the headaches. We didn't see any of the usual signs of addiction so we continued to take him at his word about his problems and behavior.

Then one cool fall night as my wife and I were at a soccer game for one of our other children, one of our daughters called in a panic. She had surprised Paul in his room in the act of using heroin. He was strung out and incoherent. She had yelled at him. The scene was awful for her—he screamed and pleaded with her not to tell us promising he would never use again. She didn't want him to run away so she lied to him—agreeing to keep it a secret. Even years later, I can still hear her sobbing, whispering voice in the phone telling me what she saw.

As I drove from the soccer field to our house my arms felt limp. My insides felt like molten lead and my mind ran from one confused, helpless and panicked thought to another. How could this be true? Why would he do this? Is his life ruined forever? How in the world will I deal with it all?

It has now been five years. In that time we've been through an exhausting marathon of emotions—ups and downs, hopes and despairs. All told Paul has spent over a year in various recovery programs. He's spent about four of the past 48 months in jail. He's gone through long periods with no family contact. We've had warm and wonderful reunions—scarce moments of hope which set us up for the crushing pain of disappointment. I remember holding him one day in his bedroom as he sobbed in my arms after an interview with his stake president. After weeks of counseling with his priesthood leaders this fine leader told him under the inspiration of the Spirit that he was forgiven. He wept and wept and I knew in that moment what Nephi meant when he said of Laman and Lemuel, “I had joy and great hopes of them, that they would walk in the paths of righteousness.” Within two weeks he had relapsed and left home.

We've probably approached this challenge the way most parents do. We studied, prayed, and counseled with everyone we could find. We devoured books, articles and web resources--we studied like a life depended on it. Because it did.

In our pursuit of wisdom, I had a few advantages because of the work I do. I was able to talk to renowned scholars on addiction recovery. I read some of the most respected books on the topic. I visited with the founder of one of the most effective recovery programs in the world. And while I learned a great deal about the psychology of recovery from these good people, I remained convinced that the problem is fundamentally a spiritual one. I became more and more convinced that chemical addictions are, in principle, no different from any habitual sin. So while studying the work of scholars I began a careful study of the work of prophets. I scoured the scriptures to learn all I could about spiritual principles for assisting others in the grip of awful sin.

Then about a year ago I struck gold. I was reading the Book of Mormon with this challenge in mind. I enjoyed the familiar chapters of first Nephi. I hunkered down to digest the Isaiah chapters in 2nd Nephi. And when I got to the engaging book of Alma I noticed how much I was looking forward to the Captain Moroni chapters.

I've always wondered why Mormon--who had to condense 1000 years of history into 500 pages--dedicated 17 precious chapters to a bunch of battles. Don't get me wrong—I've always enjoyed those chapters. But I guess I never quite got their spiritual significance. So I secretly suspected they might have been Mormon's marketing ploy to help sell the book to 12-year old boys. The rest of the book of Alma made complete sense. Numerous chapters on missionary work—demonstrating the power of the word in changing the world. Then poignant advice to Alma's sons. Then all of these battles.

Then the revelation came.

Amalickiah's OfferAs I was reading Chapter 46 I found a key that unlocked the seventeen action-packed warfare chapters. And as they unfolded, I became increasingly convinced that Mormon wasn't marketing, he was teaching. Having seen our day, he invested a substantial amount of his literary capital to teach us how to battle an enemy that would reign with blood and horror in our time. He knew that Satan would invade not with armies but with addictions.

In verse 3 we first meet Amalickiah, who is described as “a large and strong man.” He is a man who wants only one thing—to be king. His goal is absolute power. He wants to subject everyone to himself. Amalickiah, I realized, is Satan. To accomplish his goal, he makes the Nephites an offer that sounds eerily familiar.

He says, in essence, “I'll make a deal with you. You all have lusts and desires that you want gratified. You want power, a feeling of freedom. You want fun. I can give you all that. All you have to do is let me rule over you. I'll give you a little bit of power so long as you surrender your agency to me. Let me be your king and I'll give you what you want right now.”

That's when it hit me. That's how he puts everyone into bondage. That's how every addiction begins and how every sin begins to control us. He zeroes in on our weaknesses—our rebellion, laziness, insecurity, jealousy, loneliness—you name it. And he offers immediate gratification of that weakness. All we have to do is agree to be his slave. We make an implicit pact that in exchange for some pleasure we'll give up some of our agency. We'll make him our king. And by

the time we find the pleasure inevitably diminished we already have too little remaining agency to escape on our own power. He has consolidated his position, reinforced his authority, and made overthrowing him virtually impossible. As Mosiah taught, once a tyrant becomes king, he cannot be dethroned without “the shedding of much blood.”1

So the first key to unlocking these chapters is understanding that Amalickiah is Satan. His offer is to swap pleasure for bondage.

I began to employ this key. As I did, these seventeen chapters unfolded naturally. I began to see clearly how we succumb to addictions. I could see the tremendous effort required to regain freedom. I found keen insight into principles for regaining liberty from bondage. I read so much that seemed perfectly designed for addicts attempting to get their lives back.

But then I read things that made me suspect these chapters were not written primarily for the addict. I concluded they were written for the helper. I felt blessed to discover that the protagonist in the complex drama is me. It is not the individual addict but the person trying to deliver someone from ambivalence about their own bondage. What Mormon gave us is a character who loves the Nephites (the sometime addicts) and is trying to save them from themselves.

He gave us Moroni.

Now I know I'm not alone in saying Moroni has always been a hero to me. But now I began to see why Mormon gave him not only seventeen chapters but his own son as a namesake. Captain Moroni is every parent, friend or loved one who has tried to help someone get out of the bondage they sold themselves into. He is the righteous but imperfect savior figure. Mormon admires him deeply. Mormon wants us to pay very close attention to Moroni because: “if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men .” 2

I always thought this last statement meant that if I were more like Moroni, the Devil would leave me alone. But now I discovered a second meaning—that if I was more like Moroni, the Devil would have no power over the hearts of those I love. Moroni does not spend time showing us how he got himself free of bondage—he teaches us how he helped others do it. He shows us how to participate in the redemption of our own children.

But even while Mormon extols Moroni's virtues, he reminds us that you needn't be perfect to be a savior. He lets us know Moroni was powerful, but imperfect. In the midst of massive abridging, Mormon leaves plenty in the story to show us Moroni has some really bad days. For example, in a fit of anger he breaks his agreement with Amalickiah3 In another angry moment he rips into poor Pahoran (“Can you think to sit upon your thrones in a state of thoughtless stupor?”4)

Mosiah 29:21

2 Alma 48:173 In Alma 54:20 Moroni agrees to exchange prisoners with no other stipulations. After receiving Ammoron's hypocritical and shockingly deceitful response Moroni is furious and reneges on the deal—adding the stipulation that Ammoron must surrender before Moroni will exchange prisoners.

4 Alma 60:7

There's even a hint that Moroni's decision to liberate prisoners of war from Gid led to Ammoron's policy of executing women, children and low-value captives in the future.5

It's hard to adequately describe the endowment of hope I received when I realized that I could qualify to be my son's Moroni. I didn't have to be perfect. I could lose my temper once or twice.I could even make a wrong decision now and again. Apparently Moroni's “perfect understanding”6 did not preclude mistakes.

To be a Moroni, we need to be strong. Now, I've had many, many weak days. But I know from five years of torment with my son that remaining emotionally vulnerable in the lives of errant children is an exalting experience. It is a Gethsemane. And like Gethsemane did for Christ, it endows us with the strength we need to participate in their salvation. I've gained that strength as I've willingly stayed in Gethsemane for my son. I am stronger today than I was five years ago and I know that strength is helping me fight more effectively for his freedom.

To be a Moroni, our final qualification is an eternal commitment to the “liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery.”7 My son is sealed to me. I will not breach that sealing. I am eternally committed.

Moroni was unconditionally committed to fighting for his brethren. So am I. Moroni had a perfect understanding of the Gospel principles involved with delivering others from bondage. Thanks to Mormon, so can I. Moroni lead a thirteen-year effort to deliver the often ambivalent Nephites out of the bondage they created. I accept that my work with Paul may take years as well.

According to Mormon's job description, I can be my son's Moroni. Moroni is all of us who want to be saviors on Mount Zion—who hope to aid in the deliverance of those we love from the awful grip of addiction. And these precious warfare chapters in Alma give each of us a “perfect understanding” of how it's done.

With that said, I invite you to join me in careful study of these chapters. See what the Spirit has to teach you through them. My goal in this paper is not primarily to draw attention to what I've learned; it's to demonstrate the depth of wisdom available in these chapters. My guess is that you will find wisdom in them through your own study that is more relevant to your current struggles than you'll gain by reading what the Spirit taught me. But I'll share the understanding I've gained in hopes of enticing you to a more personalized experience.

Section 1—Principles for ParentsThe first five principles are very personal in their application. They have less to do with what my son needs to do to overcome his addiction than what I need to do to be his “Moroni.” The subsequent' principles deal more directly with helping my son develop his own battle plan to get back his life.

5Alma 56:12 'reports that only chief captain prisoners were left alive after the successful liberation of Nephite women, children and military prisoners from Gid.6Alma 48:117Alma 48:11

1. Moroni's Promise: You may be weak and outnumbered—but victory has nothing to do with the strength of the enemy.

I stumbled across a television program one night called Intervention. It follows addicts and their families through the horrifying details of their lives. In the episode I watched a heroin-addicted girl who ate cat food from a can while living in a garbage-strewn abandoned house. Her family lived only a few miles away and would have gladly taken her in—but she didn't want to deal with their constant haranguing about her heroin use. So here she sat in piles of filth, supporting herself by prostitution. The camera (it's shocking what people will let you film) followed her out onto a street where she met a regular “customer” who preyed on her for the $10 she needed for her next shot of heroin.

As the show continued the family joined together and promised to cut off contact with her until she chose to enter rehab. That's when I began to lean forward. Rather than bolt from the room she stared at her united family in confusion. She was uncertain how to deal with this uniform firmness. Finally she sobbed and relented. She agreed to enter a program. There was hope.

A van picked her up and drove her hundreds of miles to the rehab facility. I prayed she would see it through. As I did I realized I wasn't just praying for them, I was praying for us. It was no longer just her story, it was mine.

Within 24 hours she fled the program. I sat in front of the television crying and crying. Not just for them, but for me. I felt hopeless. By this point I had been on this girl's roller coaster more than once. I began to worry in the pit of my soul that the monster was too strong—or that my son was too weak. I imagined looking 30 years from now into the aged face of my boy as a human wreck. Perhaps he'd have an illegitimate child or two. He would have wasted his entire life. Or perhaps it would end with a late night phone call about his fatal overdose. From my research I knew that success rates for even the finest rehab programs were in the 5-10% range. By this time I knew countless stories of relapse and very few successes. My deepest fear as I sobbed that night was that for my precious son the day of salvation might be past. 8 I felt hope slipping away that any power was capable of saving him from his past choices.

That hopelessness turned to faith when I began to understand Captain Moroni's promise.You're likely familiar with the promise Prophet Moroni makes in the final verses of the Book of Mormon. It's an unequivocal promise that by complying with certain principles you can be assured of receiving a testimony of the Book of Mormon—”He will manifest the truth of it unto you...”9

For anyone who thinks they may never get free of addiction__or for anyone who worries there may be no way out for their dear one—Captain Moroni makes an equally unequivocal promise. He shows us how irrelevant the power of the enemy is when predicting success or failure in the epic battles of our lives. Think heroin is strong? Do you worry that meth will never let go? Is a toxic mix of pornography and masturbation too powerful? Do you fear that alcohol is embedded in your very cell structure and will never be gone? Captain Moroni has a promise for you.

8 Helaman 13:389Moroni 10:4

These chapters refer to a total of nineteen battles. In every one of them the Nephites should have lost. And in fact, in a few they do. For example, in the Second Lamanite Invasion, the raging hordes of invaders slaughter tens of thousands of Nephites and conquer most of the Eastern cities—Moroni, Nephihah, Lehi, Morianton, Omner, Gid and Mulek. And yet, at other times the overwhelming advantage of the Lamanites does not lead to Nephite loss.

The lesson here is that the predictor of success or failure has nothing to do with the strength of the enemy. It has everything to do with the condition of the Nephites. Moroni repeatedly assures his people that the overwhelming forces of the Lamanites were not the reason they were losing the war: “had it not been for the war which broke out among ourselves... if we had united our strength as we hitherto have done... if we had gone forth against them in the strength of the Lord, we should have dispersed our enemies...”10

Moroni ultimately succeeds in helping the Nephites regain their freedom because his primary attention is on the condition of the Nephites not the strength of the Lamanites.

And that's our challenge, too. We cannot protect our children from a bondage they yearn for. We can't fight the Lamanites when the Nephites are desperate to surrender to them. When we compel our, kids into rehab, push away their pushers, or in other ways fight their battles for them we will always fail. But when we consider first how our actions affect the spiritual condition of our loved ones, we are assured of eventual success.

Hear Moroni's promise. Against “an enemy which was innumerable”11:

First Lamanite Invasion ...the Nephites had all power over their enemies... there was not a single soul of the Nephites which was slain.”12

The Battle of Gid... the Nephites had power over them; and in these circumstances they found that it was not expedient that they should fight with the Nephites.”13

First Battle of Antiparah ...there had not one soul of them fallen to the earth.”14

Second Battle of Antiparah ...the [Lamanites] did leave the city... and thus the city of Antiparah fell into our hands.”15

Siege of Cumeni... they yielded up the city unto our hands; and thus we had accomplished our designs in obtaining the city Cumeni.”16

Battle of Manti And thus it came to pass, that by this stratagem we did take possession of the city of Manti without the shedding of blood.17

10Alma 60:1611Alma 58:812 Alma 49:2313Alma 55:2314Alma 56:5615 Alma 57:4

16 Alma 57:12

17 Alma 58:28

Battle of Nephihah... Thus had Moroni and Pahoran obtained the possession of the city of Nephihah without the loss of one soul...18

Seven times Moroni shows us that when we fight the right way, we win. So as we begin to explore Moroni's principles for battling addiction, keep this promise in mind. Your primary consideration is the effect your actions will have on the spiritual condition of your loved one. If your actions serve to undermine their agency or increase their resistance to your well-intended efforts, you will lose. But if you refuse to fight battles for an unwilling captive—if you follow Moroni's principles for honoring their agency—victory is not just possible, it is inevitable.

I am a witness that the Book of Mormon is a book for our day. In a day when secret combinations cover the earth, luring millions of Father's valiant sons and daughters into the bondage of drugs, pornography, gambling, sex and other pernicious addictions, we have a handbook on how to do battle in a way that always works.

These nineteen battles make us would-be Moronis an absolute promise. But be careful, because the promise comes with conditions. You must learn Moroni's lessons to receive the same endowment of power Moroni received. If you want the miracles, you'll have to apply the principles embedded in Moroni's campaign. And trust me, applying these principles will feel like Gethsemane to you. They will stretch you, humble you, tax you—they will bring you to your knees as you struggle to be a savior for your child. But if you're willing to go through Moroni's Gethsemane, you are promised a miracle in the Garden Tomb. Friday will be dark. But Sunday morning—and deliverance—will come.

But long before your eventual victory, you will have hope. “Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.”19

2. The best way to motivate the rebellious is to get out of God's way.

It was a cold and snowy December night in Utah. Paul had been staying at our house for 3 days. He was staying with us because 3 days ago he had begged for help and promised the world to get it.

I told him—as we always did—that we would only help if we believed what we were doing would truly help. We were unwilling to rob him of the consequences of his choices. I explained we did not believe it was loving to keep someone from learning. But, I added—as we always did—that if he was asking for help to turn his life around, there was nothing we would withhold.

He assured me that turning his life around was the goal. I explained it would require enormous sacrifice and asked if he was willing to sacrifice anything if it would help him change his life. I suspected his words exceeded his commitment—but I accepted his affirmative response and we made a plan. I believed it was better to be vulnerably optimistic than protectively cynical.

18Alma 62:26

19Alma 58:11

So we made the deal. He agreed to a painful list of sacrifices—no contact with friends, relocation out of the area, attendance at a 12-step program, no lying, no drug use, etc. We agreed that if he violated these strict agreements—agreement designed to help him turn his life around—he would have to leave home immediately.

He enthusiastically honored the agreements for a full 24 hours. Almost immediately he began complaining about the constraints. He was fidgety, resentful, and finally dishonest. He arranged for drugs to be dropped at our house then lied about it when confronted.

Now here we sat on Friday night. It was snowing lightly outside. Three days ago we made some agreements. One of them was that if he violated the deal he would need to leave immediately. The temperature was about 28 degrees outside. I sat in my room for a long time praying about whether or not I should follow through with the agreed-upon consequence. How could I? He had nowhere to go. He had nothing to eat. He had no money.

Parents in our situation often lament their lack of influence. We wonder how we can help our child “want to change.” I learned from Moroni that this is the wrong question. The right question is, “What am I doing that is keeping my child from wanting to change?” The most potent lesson Moroni offers parents is that when we stand between our child and justice, we often stand between our child and God.

Moroni faced ambivalent “addicts” throughout his 13-year campaign. Time and again after they had covenanted to defend their freedom, they backslid. Large factions of the Nephites would actively collude with the Lamanites in a way that would inevitably bring them back into bondage. Like my son, within hours of making an agreement they hungered again for bondage.

So what does Moroni do when people make self-destructive choices?

Seven years into Moroni's campaign he was still agonizing over the weakness of his own people. As hordes of Lamanite forces threatened to invade Nephite lands, Moroni had to decide what to do. He had two options—he could face the Lamanites—and fight a battle the Nephites were divided about fighting. Or he could face the Nephites. Facing the Nephites meant that disaster would come. Lives could be lost. Cities could fall as Lamanites descended while Nephites were fighting each other. Destruction was possible. But Moroni treated one principle as sacrosanct: No victory was possible so long as the Nephites weren't sure they wanted to fight. He knew that to attempt to fight the battle for the ambivalent Nephites would violate agency. Had he tried to beat back bondage from an unwilling people, he would have robbed them of their right to choose their own demise.

So how did Moroni help his people to “want to change?” He trusted God. He trusted that if he allowed the people to experience the consequences of their choices, they would learn in God's way.

Agency is not simply the power to choose. It is the power to create consequences. Agency is the God-given power to become like God by making choices that create consequences. To the degree we make choices that produce positive consequences, we become more like God. When we make negative consequences, we become less like Him and more like the adversary. When God evicted Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, He sent them into the world ‘to learn by their own experience.’ In essence, He sent them forth to learn to exercise agency.

One of the primary ways we develop our agency is by experiencing the consequences of our choices. When the consequences are painful, we learn. Over time we can become wiser and gain greater agency by creating better consequences.

As I read Moroni’s campaign, I realized that Moroni wasted little time sermonizing with the uncommitted. Instead, he allowed them to make their choices and then refused to stand between them and God. He let them experience the full measure of justice for their choices—trusting that many of them would learn to choose more wisely.

In Moroni's case, “justice” meant severe punishment. For some Nephites—it was the death penalty.

The Lamanites were closing in. A Nephite faction called the Kingmen welcomed them with open arms. In doing so, they committed treason. In Nephite law—as in most any society--the consequence for putting your nation at risk was death. Moroni “sent a petition... unto the governor of the land, desiring that he should... give him power to compel those dissenters to defend their country or to put them to death.20 The petition was granted. Was Moroni being merciless? Was he overreacting? Was he using the law to try to change the Kingmen's beliefs and remove their agency? These are all questions any Moroni faces when trying to help someone change who doesn't want to change.

So what can we learn from Moroni?

Notice the language here. Moroni didn't care what the Kingmen believed. He cared what they did. This was not about forcing others to change their political opinions; it was about punishing them for treason. His goal was to hold them accountable to “defend their country.” Period. Had Moroni not inflicted the legal consequences of treason on the Kingmen, he would have been guilty of consenting to their crimes.

The difference between Moroni and many of us is that he trusted that exposure to the natural consequences of justice would teach those who seemed unwilling to protect their freedom.

As I sat in my room agonizing over what to do with my boy, the question in my mind turned 180 degrees. Whereas I had been wondering what I should “do”—I realized that if I withheld from him the natural consequence of his choice, I would be interrupting Father's attempt to teach him. Father designed a world that teaches powerful and immediate lessons through natural and social laws. When you are lazy you go hungry. If you overeat you get heavy and sick. If you lie you are mistrusted and ostracized.

We need not do much to help people learn proper principles other than to stop interrupting God's attempt to teach them.

I walked downstairs and through choking sobs told him he had to leave. I told him how much I loved him. I told him that I believed at some future time he'd figure out how to have a happy life and that when he did I would be there to help him get it. Then I helped him pack up his few belongings: He had no luggage so we placed his things into two big black trash bags. He shuffled wordlessly out to my car with me. I asked him where he wanted me to take him. He suggested a Wal-Mart not far from our home. He exited my car in the parking lot and retrieved his bags from the back seat. As I pulled out of the parking lot I could see him in the rear view mirror standing

20 Alma 51:15

next to his two trash bags with snow falling lightly between us. I drove a short distance, pulled to the side of the road, and cried.

When our children are in bondage, we frequently face these choices. I do not know how every parent should deal with every such choice. But I know that my tendency is the opposite of Moroni's. On the face of it, you might think that Moroni's decision to enforce the consequences of treason on the Kingmen is employing compulsion. And that a decision to withhold information from police about a son's drug use is merciful.

I've come to suspect the opposite is frequently true. Moroni is the merciful one who has faith in God's plan of teaching. And my tendency is to control. Any time I try to “get my child to change” I employ some form of compulsion. If I fight at all costs to keep my child from going to jail, I rob my child of his agency. He made a choice and I won't allow him to experience it. If my rude child is shunned by peers and I lash out at them for their inhospitality, I steal the experience from my child. If I pay off the debts of a sister who continues to spend foolishly, I keep her from becoming motivated to learn restraint. If I replace a car for a child who carelessly wrecks it, I weaken his agency and rob him of an invitation to greater responsibility. If as a Relief Society president, I leave a sister in her stewardship who never completes her visiting teaching, I am removing from her the natural consequences of failed stewardship.

Frequently, rather than impose consequences, we yell, cry, guilt-trip or nag. Nagging is a form of control. It is a way of taking responsibility away from the other person. It puts the burden on the nagger to monitor and motivate the other person. Moroni did not nag. He was not willing to attempt to change the Nephites' beliefs by force. Rather, he treated treason as treason. Then he let people decide whether treason produced the consequences they wanted.

When we remove natural consequences from those we love, we take control of a process that God ordained. We are assuming our own design of the world is superior to His or that those we love are too fragile to learn in His way.

Moroni had no such belief. When he found himself fighting harder than the Nephites for their own freedom, he stopped his campaign against Lamanites and allowed them to face the full legal measure of justice their actions invited. He did it in the first year of the war. As a result, Amalickiah was expelled and a few Nephites executed.21 He did it in year seven and 4000 Nephites were executed.22 In year 10 he faced it again. 23 The lesson for me in all of this is that it takes enormous faith in God's ultimate wisdom to witness the misery of those you love as they progress through their own painful learning process. It can take years. You may have to watch them repeatedly make the same mistakes.

You Can Feel Joy While the War Still Rages

It would be a nice story if Moroni's painful decision led to an immediate change of heart. It did not. If Moroni were to speak from the dust to every worried parent or loved one of an addict, he would testify that the turning point in the campaign was not a clever strategic victory against the Lamanites. It was the fourth bloody civil war that took place in the midst of the war with the

21 Alma 46:29, 35

22Alma 51:19

23 Alma 53:8-9

Lamanites. You'll remember the testy exchange of epistles between Pahoran and Moroni. Moroni begins to suspect Pahoran is guilty of—at the very best—gluttony, at the worst, treason. Instead he discovers there is yet another faction of Nephites that yearns to subject themselves to a King. He begins to “doubt, because of the wickedness of the people, whether they should not fall...”24 But on discovering that Pahoran—and many others--are faithful, he takes courage.25 In fact, he is “filled with exceedingly great joy.”26 When I think about what was going on at the time in the war, that phrase blows me away. Surrounded by Lamanites, facing bloody divisions in his own people, outnumbered, outgunned and physically spent—how could he possibly feel “exceedingly great joy?” And then it filled me with joy. I realized that Moroni didn't need for the war to be over in order to feel hope and joy—he just needed assurance that at least some part of the Nephites still wanted to fight.

As I sat on the side of the road I pleaded with God to watch over my boy. I begged Him to protect Him from any misery more than he needed to bring him home. But most of all I pleaded with Father to bring my boy home. To us. To Him.

And then a sweet, quiet feeling came over me with the impression, “Trust in me. There is still much good in him.” I realized that hope lay not in Paul's current condition, but in his potential. He still loved his family. He still prayed in his desperate times. He still had memories of innocent happiness. He was still sealed to me and my wife. And while part of him might be disloyal to his people today, I could take courage that the good in him would gain strength. The key for now was for me to fight the real battle—not the battle against drugs, but the battle for Paul's will.

So Moroni left defensive troops to hold back the Lamanites, and fought a fourth civil war. He raised the standard of liberty and demanded that people decide where they stood.27 As he invited the Nephites to declare their loyalty, “they became exceedingly strong.”28 Thousands who had been sitting on the sideline began to step forward and take up arms. The Kingmen were overthrown or executed for treason. It was this final, awful confrontation that influenced the Nephites toward full resolution. They were no longer ambivalent. They wanted freedom.

Moroni whispers to me from the dust that the hardest war I will fight will not be against drugs, but against my own unwillingness to let justice teach my son. He assures me that the instant Paul's internal war is won, the power of the Atonement combined with Gospel wisdom are more than sufficient to help him win the war with drugs.

Within a year of this last internal war, the Nephites were free. The war turned immediately when the Nephites were united within themselves. In a very short period of time, not only were the Nephites free, but tens of thousands of Lamanites dropped their weapons and joined the Nephites.29

24 Alma 60:11

25 Alma 61:5-6

26 Alma 62:1

27 Alma 62:4-6

28 Alma 62:6

29 Alma 62:27, 29, 30

6

If you want to have your son back, sometimes you have to drop him off at Wal-Mart.

3. You can't rush deliverance.One of the most immediately comforting lessons I learned from Moroni is that deliverance doesn't have to happen today. In fact, my very panic that it had to happen today is what tempts me to become controlling.

The righteous Ammonite converts felt some of the same temptation. When they saw the enormous suffering the Nephites were enduring, the “were about to break the covenant which they had made and take up their weapons of war...” 30 Every parent of an addicted child knows the same feeling. It is pure agony to watch them suffer—even if their suffering is a direct result of their own choices. And yet any attempt we make to rush their deliverance violates spiritual principles that set the pace of the process.

While I watched my son get deeper and deeper into his addiction, I felt deep dread. After he left home things got worse by degrees. He isolated himself from past friends who were leading positive lives. He began not just using but selling drugs. He neglected his health and appearance. He started becoming a person I didn't know. Finally, it appeared he may have permanent brain damage. He hallucinated constantly—imagining voices and developing paranoid delusions.

With each step in his decline I became more and more fearful that he'd crossed a threshold that made his bondage irreversible. Then I looked across the breadth of Moroni's campaign: 19 battles over 13 years. There were many, many dark days. When Moroni saw the indecisiveness of those he loved, he “grieved and [was] also filled with fear, lest by any means the judgments of God should come upon our land, to our overthrow and utter destruction.”31 So did I.

Moroni told me that deliverance may take years. But that doesn't mean it won't happen.

Since the pace of deliverance is set not by the strength of the addiction, but by the willingness of the hostage—Moroni's job is to be patient. He must refuse to be tempted to try to rush things by fighting the muscle of the Lamanites when the problem is the will of the Nephites.

I draw great comfort from Helaman's promise to the Ammonites when they wanted to intervene, that, “God would strengthen us, insomuch that we should not suffer more because of the fulfilling the oath...”32 My oath is to trust God and not my own wit and will. My work in the meantime is to never move any faster than my loved one is willing to move. And—as we saw earlier--to let him experience the full consequences of any choices he makes in the meantime.

If we fight Moroni 's way, victory can happen at any time. Because of the power of the Atonement; it is never too late. I may have to give up some fond but temporal hopes. I may hope my son graduates from High School. I want him to go college. I dearly wanted him to serve a mission. But if I really love my son I must be willing to let go of my aspirations for his earthly life and worry ultimately only for his eternal life. So long as he is saved in the kingdom of God, I

30 Alma 56:7

31 Alma 58:9

32 Alma 56:8

will be happy. In Helaman's words, I know that he will not suffer more because I failed to take up my weapon and compel change.

In the meantime, Moroni is willing to lose precious cities like Nephihah and Lehi. At one point he even watches his namesake city of Moroni overrun by the enemy. He refuses to divert his attention to battles that he needs to be willing to lose in order to focus on the real war. The war for the Nephites' will.

Moroni's faith is that the instant the Nephites are willing, the battle will turn. For example, after 10 years of the campaign “the Nephites were not slow to remember the Lord”33 and “the Nephites began again to be victorious, and to reclaim their rights and their privileges.”34

In the past three months we've seen this same principle verified with Paul. Six months ago he was facing homelessness yet again. He broke into our home and stole checks which he tried to pass at our bank. In doing so he crossed a legal line for the first time from misdemeanors to felonies. Warrants were already out for his arrest for violating previous parole. His cell phone had been damaged through some neglect but he was still able to receive text messages. After careful deliberation, my wife and I texted him:

‘If you turn yourself into the police, we will ask that this be prosecuted as a misdemeanor. If you do not, we don't think we will be helping you by hiding the crime you committed. We love you.’

He called the police who found him passed out from alcohol consumption at a local park and booked him into jail.

Two months ago he was released from his longest jail sentence yet. And when he got out, something was different. There was a quietness and resolve in him that we've never seen before. There was distaste for the life he had led. There was a greater clarity about the many false friendships he had.

He's been sober now for five months. But most importantly he seems less divided about what he wants. Perhaps he is ready to truly fight for freedom.

4. You must show unwavering love while you inflict excruciating pain.

It's hard to think good thoughts about people who cause you pain and suffering. Heck, it's hard to think well of people who simply inconvenience you. I found myself muttering under my breath just moments ago at the man driving in front of me who had the audacity to dawdle while the left turn light in the intersection turned from green to yellow to red. I missed an entire light cycle costing me perhaps 2-3 minutes of my precious time! If you took the measure of my emotion in that moment and compared it to the magnitude of his “offense,” you'd have an idea of how little pain it takes before I can feel animosity toward my fellow man.

33 Alma 55:31

34 Alma 55:28

Now if it's possible for us to feel resentful toward someone who inconveniences us a little, you can appreciate how hard it is to remain loving toward a child who presents you with years of pain, worry and suffering. In our case, over the past five years it's hard to calculate how much time, treasure and torment we've willingly offered on the smallest hope it would help free our son from his hell. And in the moments when it looked like our sacrifices were not only unappreciated but resented, mountainous waves of resentment and anger would wash over me.

But when it comes to unappreciated sacrifice, Moroni has a bit of an advantage over me. This guy endured starvation, bloody warfare, and even terrible wounds.35 And for his trouble he was frequently hated, reviled and threatened by those he was fighting for. As I read through Moroni's story with my son in mind, I realized that had I been Moroni I would have lasted about six months. At the point where a large body of Nephites was uninterested in freedom I would have issued an ultimatum to the tune of, “Look you losers, when you get tired of bondage, let me know. I'll be north of the narrow neck somewhere. Email me.” Moroni on the other hand retained his influence by retaining contact.

Moroni is about as strange a warrior as you'll find throughout all history. He was a brilliant strategist. He was a phenomenally successful fighter. But when he hacked into an enemy with his sword he didn't feel anger, he felt empathy.

“he was a man who... had sworn with an oath to defend his people... even to the loss of his blood...”36

“he was a man... [who] did not delight in bloodshed...”37

“[Moroni and his warriors were]... sorry to take up arms against the Lamanites... did not delight in the shedding of blood... sorry to be the means of sending so many of their brethren out of this world into an eternal world, unprepared to meet their God.”38

“[The instant Moroni had an advantage over his “enemy”] ...he said unto them: If ye will bring forth your weapons of war and deliver them up, behold we will forbear shedding your blood.”39

Five centuries later, Mormon considered him a mentor as he struggled to figure out how to be both prophet and protector of the remaining Nephites. I imagine the immense soul challenge involved for Mormon in raising a sword over his head to extinguish the life of someone who was connected to the slaughter of his wife and children. Here were men who--while mustering the force required to crush bone and split sinew--found a way to retain a tender remorse for the viscous work they knew they must do.

With Paul, when my mood was right I could show love. When he was acting up I could also show strict resolve. But showing love and resolve simultaneously required a strength of soul that

35 Alma 52:35

36Alma 48:13

37 Alma 48:11

38 Alma 48:23

39 Alma 52:37

taxed me to my limit. Moroni taught me that a campaign for freedom demands more of me than love or resolve. It means showing resolve at times in a piercingly loving way.

Paul spent three months in a fine rehab program. We visited him twice a week and spent hours with him in family therapy sessions. I did all of it willingly because I love my boy. Within days of getting out he started making the irrational compromises that were so often part of his addiction. For example, I remember the helpless panic I felt when we finished a 30-minute debate about whether or not he should start smoking again. In his resentful, hungry logic he told me that other addicts had assured him that you should only try to quit one thing at a time and that if he started smoking he would actually do better at staying off illegal drugs. And since smoking wasn't illegal, he continued, I shouldn't be so worried about it. He looked at me with a patronizing smile and concluded with, “I know you and Mom have different beliefs than I do about tobacco, but I hope you'll respect my decision.”

In that moment I had an overwhelming urge to tell him to get lost forever. I wanted to turn around and walk away and never see him again. I knew it would be painful to lose him, but accepting that loss would be less painful than the torment of uncertainty he kept inflicting on my life. I had my sword over my head and I just wanted to bring it down on him to end my pain.

That's how. I handled a previous battlefield moment with Paul. After another attempt at sobriety we had similarly helped Paul get on his feet. He had found a job and received his first small paycheck. The night after he cashed it he rang our doorbell at 3am. I opened it to find him with pupils dilated to the size of dimes, staggering drunk holding a hookah pipe he had bought with the money left after purchasing volumes of liquor. My body shook with rage as I told him to get off our property and slammed the door. I bolted the door with my son still standing in a stupor on the porch. I turned my back to the door, leaned back against it and wept in despair.

But this later time it was different. As we finished the smoking debate, I felt the same urge to cut him off. But then I found Moroni's voice inside me. I found a way to be firm and just—to give Paul the unflinching accountability he needed to grow—and at the same time to express unequivocal love. I wish I had found this voice more often over the years.

“Paul,” I said, “our agreement was that we would help you so long as you showed a resolve to stick with your agreements. You are not. I respect your right to make your own choices. Please respect mine as well. I am confident from what you're saying that you will relapse soon. I will not be a part of that. Sometime in the future when you are ready to sacrifice everything it will take to do this the right way, we will help. I know you'll figure this out eventually. I love you. Good bye, son.”

It has been so difficult for me to develop the strength to “shed blood” when needed but to take no delight in it. When I slammed the door on Paul I had a perverse desire to hurt him. I wanted not only to protect myself from pain, but to dish it out to him, as well. Over the years I've tried to replace my voice with Moroni's.

One of the best examples of how to do so came from my oldest daughter, Tara. At one point when Paul was asked to leave home Tara agreed to let him live with her rather than see him go live with other addicts. She told him he could not use drugs in her apartment and would have to pay his own bills. Initially he worked hard at his job and paid his bills. Life was tough because he had lost his car and now had to walk to work in the winter weather. No one in our family had done more for Paul that Tara. As she's the oldest of our children she was the first to drive. She

was always his confidant. She would drive him anywhere he asked without complaint at her own inconvenience. Growing up, she was always the first to share her candy, her money, her kindness. She told Paul he was welcome in her apartment but would be asked to leave if he was dishonest or brought drugs into her apartment.

It wasn't long before his drug use impeded his ability to work. With rent due and the threat of eviction he stole money from Tara to cover his bills. She was deeply hurt—least of all because of the loss of money, but more because she expected some loyalty from him.

Six days before Christmas Tara confronted him. Just days earlier, Paul had started exercising. After months of physical neglect he had spent himself doing pushups. I dropped him off at his apartment after talking to him over lunch. Tara sat down with him and reviewed the evidence of his theft. He hung his head and stared at the ground. She asked him if he could list all the things he had lost to his drug habit. He began to cry. She told him he could no longer stay in her apartment. His shoulders sagged and he looked completely desolate. She told him he had two days to decide where he would go.

She shook with emotion as she delivered this awful message. She felt so hurt, so violated, but so torn. She loved her brother and didn't want him to suffer. And yet she knew that if she did not wield this sword justly, she would not be doing her part to help him get free of his bondage. And yet in her pity, she didn't shrink from the fight. Instead, she held her ground. She delivered her message. Then she moved next to him on the couch, and began to massage his sore shoulders.

If Moroni were leading my campaign, he would counsel me often for fighting without love. His approach to deliverance shows me that what my son needs is not watered down consequences in the name of love. What he needs is a full dose of consequences delivered in unmistakable compassion. Compassion does not mean I withhold consequences. It means I deliver them with the charity of a savior.

The “savior's” role is to be there when they truly want deliverance, not to save them from their own experience.

5. It takes a family to save a childThe darkest days I remember were in August 2008. Paul had just crossed a new line—passing out from drunkenness while driving and totaling a car. For 48 hours we were terrified that he may have injured others through his selfish and evil actions. We prayed desperately that this would not be the case and reeled at the thought that his sins may now be the cause of disaster in others' lives.40 We had become steeled at some level to the horror of his self-destruction, but the thought of his bringing harm to others felt like more than we could bear.

Then an image crystallized in my mind. It was a moment when Moroni realized that he would have to mobilize all the Nephite resources in order to prevail against so powerful a foe. At a low point in his; campaign he wrote a threatening epistle to Ammoron (Amalickiah's successor) promising, will come against you with my armies; yea, even I will arm my women and my

40 We eventually discovered—to our great relief--that a pedestrian had been bruised but not badly hurt and that the other cars he hit were parked.

children, and I will come against you.”41 I suspect Ammoron thought this threat was just silly. Send heavily armed primary children against trained soldiers? Ammoron's answer, in essence, was, “Bring them on.”

And Moroni did. And so did we.

I realized that for all the worry, praying and acting my wife and I had done, we had never declared total war. The scriptures promise great spiritual power through unified prayer. Christ promised His disciples that when even just a few gathered together in His name, He would be with them.42 Likewise, it was when the Lehite survivors gathered together at the temple following the great destruction that Christ appeared.43 It was when the Lehite disciples prayed together that the Lord appeared to them to answer questions and endow them with power.44 We also see this principle illustrated in the temple where the crowning symbol of unity is beautiful unified prayer which precedes entry into Father's presence.

So we united our whole family in fasting and mighty prayer. Grandparents, aunts and uncles joined in their respective homes. Our children gathered in ours. I testified to them that through this kind of unified faith we could enable those on the other side of the veil to participate more powerfully in Paul's redemption. We discussed how God respects our agency and can not intervene more actively that we invite Him to through our active faith. To the degree we exercise our faith we open doors that allow angels access to our lives and the lives of those we love.

I remember the optimistic and hopeful feeling we had as we gathered together to dedicate and later close our fast. I then invited each child to share their feelings, testimony or expressions of commitment. I felt impressed to testify that we would be limited in power to help Paul with his addictions if we weren't willing to examine and sacrifice our own. Each of us has secret sins and habits with which we struggle that impede the Spirit's presence in our lives. I challenged our family to decide what sins we were willing to sacrifice in order to gain greater power to save our brother. Some in the family were shy about the discussion but all expressed a willingness to rise to greater levels of faithfulness in order to wage this war.

With our women and children armed, we were ready to fight with an intensity we had never engaged before. Miracles began happening almost immediately. One of them led to Paul's arrest and 18 month sentence. In retrospect, this was exactly the blessing he needed. I learned that angels fight like Moroni—sometimes by offering protections, other times by imposing pain—but always in ways that influence for good.

When Moroni armed “their women, and all those of their children, as many as were able to use a weapon of war”45 entire families were delivered and reunited. The Lamanites, in the face of unified families, “brought forth [their weapons] and cast them at the feet of the Nephites, pleading for mercy.”46

There is no greater power than the faith of a unified family.

41 Alma 54:1242 Matthew 18:2043 3 Nephi 11:1-8 443 Nephi 27:1

45 Alma 55:1746 Alma 55:23

Section 2 — Principles for Developing a Battle PlanThe previous five principles helped me change my own approach to helping my son. The next five principles were as much for him as for me.

I learned a great deal from Moroni about how to advise my son once he decided he would fight for his freedom. In truth, there were multiple false starts before he seemed to develop a full resolve (Moroni's campaign didn't make sustained progress until year twelve). But even when he was almost ready to fight for his life these strategies helped him learn to wage war.

But that didn't mean the previous eleven years were a waste. During those eleven years the Nephites accomplished three things:

1. First, they developed an understanding of the spiritual nature of their struggle. Moroni spent as much time “preparing the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God” 47 as he did preparing swords and shields. There is so much in the recovery literature that would cause you to conclude the problem is fundamentally psychological or physiological. Moroni would say the problem is first and foremost spiritual. And until a spiritual resolve develops, there will be no victory. This is not to say you should not get all the psychological and physiological intelligence you can gather as well. Moroni's armies wielded swords as well as words. But over the course of the thirteen years through small successes and repeated failures, the Nephites came to believe their weakness was not in arms but in faith.

2. Second, during these thirteen years their ambivalence was slowly turning to commitment. Each time some faction would emerge that yearned for bondage by demanding a king, Moroni would turn attention inward rather than outward. He would confront and address Nephite motives strictly. He refused to fight for the Nephites when they weren't sure they wanted to fight for themselves. After twelve years the mixed motives had disappeared and deliverance came in short order.

1. And third, they developed skill in the principles of deliverance. They learned when to defend, when to attack, when to be patient and when to be courageous. They learned they were powerless without God and unbeatable with Him.

Paul's five year effort has provided him with all three of these benefits.

Below I share some of the Moroni principles that helped him develop skill and understanding to take back his life.

1. Erect defenses that make sin impossibleOn October 30, 2008 Paul was released from a three-month incarceration in Utah County Jail. This was his longest sentence, yet. A frustrated judge had originally sentenced him to 18 months—hoping to give him a clear sense of where he was headed next. While in jail he looked

47 Alma 48:7

more closely at his colleagues—much older men, many there for crimes related to drug or alcohol abuse. As he got to know his colleagues he was disturbed by how few even entertained the possibility that their future could be separated from drug abuse. In the back of his mind he had always thought his choices were voluntary and that “someday” he'd get serious about life and give it all up. So he was sobered a bit by witnessing how person after person in the jail equated their lives with their drugs. Most passed the time by reminiscing about past parties and fantasize about getting loaded after their release. Something began to settle into Paul a bit more deeply than in previous jail stays. He began to seek out those who seemed to want to change and to connect with LDS resources at the jail.

As Paul got nearer his release date, he became anxious about both how he could survive and how he could change his life once he got out. Survival was the first challenge because he had lost everything once again before being picked up by police while passed out on the ground in the park. He had not paid rent for 3 months and his landlord had seized all of his meager possessions. He had thousands of dollars in debts to various agencies—including the courts. And he had an unprocessed charge for a DUI that still hung over his head. His life was a mess. On release his plan was to head to a homeless shelter until he could get a job and apply for indigent aid to help him get on his feet. He understood clearly that we would not cushion him from the misery he had created.

But we felt an impression that some of his protestations about wanting to change seemed stronger than in times past. Of course we were concerned his expressions could be either shallow or disingenuous. But we decided there was enough possibility that we had little to lose and much to gain for him through a limited test.

I asked Paul to read Alma 49 with me. I asked him to start by focusing on the promise of these chapters—but also on the peril. Amalickiah's Lamanites were coming against the Nephites with an overwhelmingly powerful army. They had significantly upgraded their arms after studying previous battles with the Nephites such that they were confident “they should easily overpower and subject their brethren to the yoke of bondage, or slay and massacre them according to their pleasure.”48 I assured Paul that Satan felt the same way about him. He knew Paul's weaknesses and had prepared a plan to easily drag him right back into bondage. Paul nodded at this insight but said little more.

Then we read the result. Moroni was ready when the Lamanites attacked. He knew they had an absolute numerical advantage over his people. And yet, when the Lamanites arrived, the Nephites “were prepared for them, in a manner which never had been known among the children of Lehi.”49 In fact, rather than rolling over them with indomitable force, Amalickiah's hosts, “were exceedingly astonished at their manner of preparation for war.”50

In fact, they were so shocked that, “his chief captains durst not attack the Nephites...” because, “Moroni had altered the management of affairs among the Nephites, insomuch that the Lamanites... could not come upon them.”51

48 Alma 49:7

49 Alma 49:8

50Alma 49:9

51 Alma 49:11

I asked Paul if he thought it was possible to create a similar plan. I asked him if he was willing to sacrifice everything it would take to make a plan that made failure impossible. I assured him it could be done. But, like the Nephites, he would have to “alter the management of affairs” of his life in order to accomplish this. Moroni's plan involved a tremendous amount of work and preparation. It involved the surrender of a great deal of freedom and comfort in the short term. But it also promised complete safety. After the Lamanites inflicted their worst on the Nephites, we read that, “the Nephites had all power over their enemies,” such that “there was not a single soul of the Nephites which was slain.”52

I told Paul that this would have to be his plan. I could teach him how to assemble the plan. But he would have to be in charge of it. He would have to want it. And if at any time it appeared it was my plan and not his, I would immediately disengage and he would be on his own. I would not be part of a half-measure strategy. But I would give every effort possible so long as his only goal was victory. He agreed. So far so good.

Had he equivocated, I would have offered modest help to help him find a shelter or some social services, but would have done nothing to support a half-hearted plan.

Moroni’s Three Defenses: earth, stone and men.

Next Paul and I backed up to study Moroni's preparations for the attack. Now that we knew the results were worth the incredible investment of effort and temporary sacrifice of freedom, we examined his strategy. It's packed pretty tightly into two verses. I pointed out three things Moroni did to neutralize Amalickiah's [Satan's] huge advantage:

1. ... erecting small forts, or places of resort; throwing up banks of earth round about to enclose his armies

2. ... building walls of stone to encircle them about, round about their cities and the borders of their lands; yea, all round about the land.

3. And in their weakest fortifications he did place the greater number of men... 53

I find three different resources suggested in Moroni's approach, all of which play different roles in defending us when we're weaker than the enemy.

First, is a combination of forts and earth—both of which serve the same purpose. The purpose of the banks of earth is to put distance between us and the enemy. The first thing Paul needed was a plan to put as much physical distance as possible between himself and any sources of temptation. It's a lot of work and a lot of bother to do this, but if you do it well enough the earth and forts will be “so high that the Lamanites could not cast their stones and their arrows at them that they might take effect.”54 Paul and I discussed all the ways Satan could find his way to him and how he would build so much distance between himself and these sources that they could not take effect. For example:

52Alma 49:2353 Alma 48:8-954 Alma 49:4

· I will cut off contact with every friend from my past for 60 days—even those who were not themselves temptations, but who are connected to those who are. I will associate only with family.

· I will have no cell phone—when I have any phone a call can come at any weak moment and start my thoughts running the wrong way.

· I will shut down my MySpace account. Anyone can make contact with you anywhere on earth through social networking and draw you back into the same peer group.

· I will list all the places I will stay in and all those I will not go near in order to keep myself distant from temptation.

· I will sleep in a bedroom right next to Mom and Dad's room.

The second resource is walls of stone. Now, this may sound like a stretch to others, but in our case the stone had profound symbolic meaning. Christ is the stone. He is the rock of our salvation.55 He is the cornerstone of the Church.56 David refers to Him as a rock and fortress.57 Christ refers to Himself as “the Rock of Heaven.”58 In Moroni's defensive plan the stone walls were the first line of defense. Christ is the ultimate hope for our deliverance. Moroni surrounded the entire city and the borders of the land with stone walls. And that's what Paul had to do as well. I asked him to think about all he needed to do to bring Christ so intimately into his life that he would benefit from his full defense against the onslaught that would inevitably come. He decided:

· To have a thorough interview with the bishop and work hard for his membership.

· To face up to every legal obligation he had incurred.

· To visit every week with the bishop.

· To develop a close relationship with his Elder's quorum presidency.

· To attend every Church meeting and activity.

· To attend Institute twice a week.

· To pray and study scripture every day.

· To work toward temple worthiness.

He concluded that if he did these things he would have the full protection of his omnipotent Savior.

The final resource is men. Moroni understood that no matter how much earth and stone he used, there would be vulnerable areas in his cities—easier places for the enemy to approach. There were, for example, entrances to the cities through which people could come and go during times of peace. These were access points for Amalickiah's hosts as well. So Moroni placed his most

55 Deuteronomy 32:15

56 Ephesians 2:20

57 Psalms 18:2

58 Moses 7:53

powerful warriors in these places to protect the vulnerable. Paul did the same. He created a plan involving his most faithful allies who would defend him to the death—people who, like Moroni, “had sworn an oath to defend his people... even to the loss of his blood.59

He thought of ways to surround himself with those who had better aspirations. He made sure that trusted people knew that he was trying to recover from addiction and encouraged them to challenge him if he seemed to be rationalizing his way into problems. He got a job that surrounded him with fine and positive people. He reported to me every night about his day and any tempting thoughts or situations he faced. He positioned his priesthood leaders and return missionary friends in his life in ways that increased their influence and distanced him from unrighteous men.

When he had completed his plan I asked him to examine it. As he reviewed the strategy I asked him to consider, “If you put all this in place, will you be completely safe during this period of intense fighting?”

Prior to this conversation he had seemed worried, anxious, and even gloomy about his prospects after so much prior failure. But now, looking over his strategy, he was overcome with a different feeling. He felt hope. He looked at all the elements of his plan and answered, “If I do this, I will win. We will win.”

4. Work to exhaust temptationAnother element of Moroni's and Paul's plan is work. In the course of his campaign Moroni captured tens of thousands of Lamanites prisoners of war. At times feeding and guarding these captives was a huge burden. Moroni soon concluded he could not win the war if he wasted resources trying to control these prisoners.

I find that the best way to learn from the scriptures is to keep the symbols clear and consistent. For example, in my reading, I concluded that the Nephites represented my loved one who had given himself to bondage. Amalickiah (and later Ammoron) represented Satan. Who, then, are the Lamanites? They are the temptations—the forces Satan uses to impose his will on us. They could represent the drugs, the impulses, the weaknesses, or the misguided friends that Satan deploys to manipulate us into surrendering our agency to him.

One of Paul's big challenges once he tired of bondage was to develop a strategy to deal with the force of these temptations. Moroni's strategy was to use work.

Immediately after Moroni captured an enormous Lamanite army in the Battle of Mulek, he put them to work. He concluded the best way to keep them from plotting, colluding or getting into mischief was to tire them out. The same is true of an addict. Idle hands truly are the Devil's playthings. Busy hands are healthy hands. So “after the Lamanites had finished burying their dead and also the dead of the Nephites... Moroni, caused that they should commence laboring in digging a ditch round about... Bountiful.60 Why? Well, I'm sure Moroni wanted the ditch. But he

59Alma 48:13 60 Alma 53:3

also understood, “it was easy to guard them while at their labor.”61 The best way to eliminate destructive impulses is to redirect them—into work. Hard work.

Even after Many Lamanite prisoners defected to the Nephite side, Moroni knew that they would not truly change their character until they changed their habits. One of the problems with addictions is that they diminish one's capacity to do the hard work required to solve life's problems. So the most direct therapy one can employ to build atrophied will power is work.

And that's the kind of therapy Moroni offered them. In the crucial early days of their conversion, “all the prisoners of the Lamanites did join the people of Ammon, and did begin to labor exceedingly, tilling the ground, raising all manner of grain, and flocks and herds of every kind; and thus were the Nephites relieved from a great burden; yea, insomuch that they were relieved from all the prisoners of the Lamanites.”62 Hard work turned tempters into helpers.

One of the most potent parts of Paul's most recent plan has been a positive work plan. He committed to work from 8-5 every day. In the evenings he had a structured work schedule including vigorous physical exercise five days a week, reading time, Institute attendance, and so on. It was important that the plan involve things he enjoyed doing. But they needed to be productive things he enjoyed doing.

Again, Paul's goal was to create a plan that would keep him safe for 60 days. After that he would begin to adjust it to gradually return by degrees to normalcy. But in the short term the solitary goal was safety. He wanted to prove to himself that he was capable of maintaining sobriety for a longer period of time than he had done for quite a while. And with that confidence in the spiritual and personal muscle he was acquiring, he would then begin taking back “cities” he had lost. For now, the goal was not to regain all his lost land, but rather to stop the losses.

The combination of earth, stone, men and work are a potent way of doing so.

5. Watch carefully for tender merciesAs I write this, Paul is lonely. He's about two months into his “defensive” strategy. He's adhered to it willingly and patiently. And yet I know that many of the evenings are lonely. He has some new friends in his ward—but no close friends. He has activities some nights but none where he feels like he's at the center of the group. He is happy but laughs less than in his party days. He feels blessed but also a bit disconnected. He's left one life behind but doesn't fully have another one yet.

The hardest part of giving up years of addiction is that you enter a life in which you feel both incompetent and lonely. And these are two of the toughest feelings a person can deal with. They are tough not just because they make you feel intensely insecure and uncomfortable, but also because emerging from them doesn't involve waking up, it involves growing up. You don't develop deep new friendships over night. Neither do you develop skill at managing life sober in an instant.

61 Alma 53:5

62 Alma 62:29

Even these challenges might sound surmountable except that no one is less equipped to deal patiently with such extended growth processes than an addict. Addiction is Satan's perfect plan for sapping a person's capacity for patience. It is an easy off ramp from the road to progress—and taken too often causes the soul's muscle to atrophy through disuse.

So here's Paul, two months into a new life, sometimes feeling lonely, incompetent and ill equipped to endure the process patiently until he is free from the consequences of five years of choices. In short, he's at constant risk for falling back into familiar escapes.

Enter Moroni. No one has more authority to testify that deliverance is a process than Moroni. Every time Moroni would muster up a bit of Nephite resolve to fight for freedom, some of them would stare at the enormity of the war and lose their nerve. One of Moroni's toughest challenges was recruiting—at his lowest point he laments that they aren't receiving the food, troops and armaments

they know are available.63 The irony of a campaign to free an addict—or captive—is that they need the most motivation at the times things are the least hopeful. They need to muster up more food, troops and armaments at the time when they most despair of the campaign's futility. Moroni had the most difficult time recruiting at the time that he most needed recruits.

So how do you maintain hope during the low times of a thirteen year war? You use tender mercies not final deliverance as a measure of God's commitment to you.

If you look intentionally for the interim miracles in the war, you build the faith and character necessary to enable the ultimate miracle—a complete change of heart. But be warned, God knows better when you are ready for the ultimate miracle than you do. If getting what you want to have is more important than becoming who He wants you to be, you will ultimately achieve neither.So patience is the key. And patience can be built by developing the skill of gratitude.

Gratitude is the best inoculation against despair and impatience. For example, here's Helaman counting the dead at the end of one of the bloodiest campaigns of the war. He examines the butchered body of his dear friend and fellow leader, Antipus. Almost all of his captains have likewise fallen along with thousands of their troops. 64 Helaman is surveying the remains of his brethren and, with great trepidation, asks for a body count of his teenage heroes—the Stripling Warriors. He braces against the depressing news he knows he'll receive. Be it 100 or 1000 dead—he can hardly bear any more loss.65 On hearing the number, he must have asked for it to be repeated more than once before he dared believe it: zero. Absolutely none of his “sons” had died.

So, Helaman tells us, that sitting in the midst of terrible carnage, he feels “great joy.” 66 His heart swells with gratitude that “not one soul of them had fallen to the earth; yea, and they had fought as if with the strength of God; yea, never were men known to have fought with such miraculous

63 Alma 60:2, 3, 564Alma 56:51

65 Alma 56:55

66 Alma 56:56

strength; and with such mighty power did they fall upon the Lamanites, that they did frighten them; and for this cause did the Lamanites deliver themselves up as prisoners of war.”67

Somehow, even in the midst of continual struggle, Helaman says it's possible to feel great joy. It's possible because Helaman is intentionally watchful for interim miracles that build his faith and patience for the ultimate miracle of deliverance.

Paul has done a good job watching for interim miracles, too. He counts his blessings. He looks for the hand of the Lord in small blessings given along the way.

When the larger picture still looks dim, it takes active effort to look for the smaller miracles. But they are always there. In the midst of our afflictions God always holds our hands, brings comfort, and offers hope. We must always remember His goal is not to give us a certain quality of life; it is to prepare us for eternal life. The measure of His love for us is not “how things are” but “who He helps us become.” He cannot deliver us until He makes us into the kind of person who is fit for freedom. And freedom is a quality of character not of circumstance.

Knowing this, He generously offers hope and encouragement along the way in the form of tender mercies. But we have to want to see them in order to witness their abundance. If we demand that God show up in the form of a blessing we crave right now, we'll miss His perfect affection along the way.

Helaman gives us another great example of watching for tender mercies. After some wonderful military successes he has overextended his armies. They have recaptured some crucial cities but have far too few resources to maintain them in the face of an aggressive enemy. The Nephites watch with mounting worry as the Lamanites receive “great strength from day to day, and also many provisions.”68 In contrast, Helaman and his men are starving.69 They wonder why Lamanites who are hundreds of miles from home can be so well supplied when he and his men are famished in the middle of their own country. A small ration arrives which leaves him resentful that, “this is all the assistance which we did receive, to defend ourselves and our country from falling into the hands of our enemies, yea, to contend with an enemy which was innumerable.70

At this point, Helaman could very easily give up. He could feel resentful that God, his leaders, his friends and others aren't giving him what he deserves right now. But Helaman knows how to get through these discouraging times. He turns to God for tender mercy.

“Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, yea, and also give us strength that we might retain our cities, and our lands, and our possessions, for the support of our people.”71

And as He always does, God answered.

ibid

68 Alma 58:5

69 Alma 58:7

70 Alma 58:8

71 Alma 58:10

“Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.”72

Notice, He doesn't send food. He doesn't send guns. He doesn't send troops. Although Helaman would have loved any of these. Instead, he sends hope. For which Helaman is grateful. Gratitude for tender mercies is the most potent inoculation against despair.

Helaman's intentional gratitude infused him and his men with hope. “And we did take courage with our small force which we had received, and were fixed with a determination to conquer our enemies, and to maintain our lands, and our possessions, and our wives, and our children, and the cause of our liberty.”73

Paul isn't the only one who has been sustained by tender mercies. Father has lovingly encouraged my wife and me over the years through talks, testimonies, and many small miracles. He's sent angels from both sides of the veil to minister to Paul, protect him from harm and awaken him to his peril.For example, the snowy night when I dropped Paul off at Wal-Mart, I remember pulling off to the side of the road and praying. I pleaded with God to watch over my boy. I begged him to send angels to protect him from any misery that would not serve him. I placed him in the care of the Good Shepherd. And, like Helaman, I felt peace. I received a witness that God loved my boy and that He would watch over him as only He knew how. I knew that angels would be deployed as needed and that while the road could be painful and long, He would not give up. So I took courage with my “small force” because I knew that with Him nothing was impossible.

I drove home and shared these feelings with my wife. Within an hour we received a phone call. A couple from Texas was staying at a hotel near Wal-Mart and saw Paul in his pathetic condition. They bought him a hamburger and talked with him to find out his situation. On learning his name they called the police to see if he was in some kind of trouble. In addition, they looked up his last name in the local phone book and attempted to track down his family. I knew it was the voice of an angel when I heard the man say into the phone, “I just want you to know your boy is okay. He's pretty scared and pretty cold. I guess he's on his way to jail, but at least he'll be safe. He's a nice young man and we pray this will help him straighten out.”

When things are tough and we're not ready for deliverance, God always sends help.

When you lack courage, He may send 2000 teenage warriors.74

While your choices may bring you injury, he may keep your injuries from killing you. 75

When you're too weak to fight, sometimes He slows down the enemy.76

When you're lost and alone, sometimes He sends an angel from Texas.

72 Alma 58:11

73 Alma 58:12

74 Alma 56:15-17

75 Alma 57:25

76 Alma 56:18-19

6. React to relapse thoughts Moroni has one central belief about bondage that carries through his entire campaign. It's a belief that drives his entire battle strategy. It's a principle that he risked everything to pursue. Any modem commander would think Moroni a fool for many of his most crucial decisions. But Moroni had perfect faith that if he was true to this one idea, he and his people would ultimately be victorious. And they were.

Moroni repeatedly tells us that the source of all the Nephite problems was not in their foes but in their heads: “For were it not for the wickedness which first commenced at our head, we could have withstood our enemies that they could have gained no power over us.”77

Of course, when Moroni refers to the “head” he is referring to political leadership. But the addictive analogy requires no translation. You can predict lost battles—both military and chemical—far in advance by watching what happens in your head.

As we've seen, the hunger for bondage comes long before the bondage itself. Three times Moroni finds elements of the Nephites who want to enslave themselves to a king. And we've seen how he responded immediately to this distraction. But ultimate success depends not on us “Moronis” responding, but on the addicts themselves learning 1) to spot danger signs far in advance; and 2) to react in ways that once again banish these thoughts.

Not all of these “head” problems point the addict directly at relapse. In other words, Satan may not try to get Paul by presenting him with heroin. Instead, he presents him with secondary temptations that weaken his spirit in order to make them vulnerable again to their old demons.

Alma tells us about four kinds of secondary temptations. He testifies that Nephite bondage always began with, “their quarrellings and their contentions, yea, their murderings, and their plunderings, their idolatry, their whoredoms, and their abominations...” which resulted ultimately in “their wars and their destructions.”78

Moroni's history shows that when Satan can't get you directly back into bondage, he'll work on you indirectly through quarrels, anger, greed and lust. Once you succumb to these temptations you get disconnected from the Spirit. And the instant you drift from the Spirit you'll find that your addictive temptations will flare again and you'll be easy prey for the old offer of bondage.

For example, things were going along just fine in Nephite lands in the 21st year of the reign of the judges. In fact, “there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni ...”79 Then a quarrel breaks out between the lands of Lehi and Morianton over some beach front property.80 It sounds like the equivalent of my kids arguing over who gets to sit by the door in the car and who has to sit on the dreaded hump in the middle. Just as happens in our back seat, the fight escalates until “the people of Morianton took up arms

77 Alma 60:15

78 Alma 50:21

79 Alma 50:23

80 Alma 50:25

against their brethren, and they were determined by the sword to slay them.” 81 The people of Morianton are so “stubborn”82 and proud that rather than admit their error they abandon their beautiful city and head for Desolation. Moroni knows that having an enemy on his Northern frontier would mean death to the Nephites, so he attempts to intervene. By this time Morianton and his people would rather fight to the death than admit they were wrong. And that's exactly what they do—they go to war against Moroni's full army.83

A couple of weeks after his recent return, Paul went to war.

He had a little money in his pocket from his new job. He was feeling happier and more confident. He believed the bad years were behind him. Then he got into a fight with his younger brother. The pattern was painfully familiar. Timothy had been talking nonstop and Paul was getting frustrated about not having a turn to make a comment. At first Paul was patient. Then he fumed. And as the minutes wore on he wore down. Finally he erupted with a sarcastic comment. Timothy exploded. My wife corrected Paul for his rudeness. He took offense at her correcting him because we “always favor Timothy.” And with that, he started making plans to head to Desolation.Now, it was not his plan to go use drugs. But I'm confident if he had followed through with his plan, his refusal to repent would have made him vulnerable to other temptations and he would have been back into his addiction in short order.

His plan was simply to leave home. He rationalized that “I'm an adult, I should be living on my own anyway” ignoring the fact that leaving meant he was abandoning his 60-day defensive plan and heading outside of his protected area. In his stubbornness, he refused to admit his wrong and yelled that “I can't help getting angry at Timothy when he acts like that. When he does that I'm going to hit him! That's just how I react.” Yes, he was on his way to Desolation.

But fortunately for Paul, he was attentive to this warning sign. He knew that his problems began in his head and that quarrels were one of the methods Satan used to get him to put himself in vulnerable circumstances. Moroni was convinced that the way Morianton was dealing with his quarrel could have “consequences would lead to the overthrow of their liberty.”84 And in fact, it did. Within months after the Morianton squabble the Lamanites attacked deep into Nephite lands.

Paul responded differently. He noticed his anger and recognized it as a fast track to vulnerability. He returned to his family and apologized. He opened a frank conversation that led to a better accommodation between us, him and his brother. He returned from the road to Desolation back to his home.

Satan is clever. Like Amalickiah he senses when our quarrels, anger, greed and lust make us vulnerable to his attacks. He times his campaigns around our indulgence in these weaknesses. Sometimes it's when we surrender to our pride in our quarrels with friends and loved ones. Other times it's when we become angry and impatient at life's challenges. For some it's giving in to

81 Alma 50:2682 Alma 50:3583 Alma 50:3584 Alma 50:32

greed by neglecting spiritual commitments. For others it's the lure of lust that separates us from the Spirit. One way or another, you can count on Satan appealing to any weakness you have in order to get you to head away from home toward Desolation so he can destroy your liberty.

Knowing this in advance, you'd be wise to identify the ways Satan will do this to you and learn to identify your emotions for what they are when they happen. They are problems in the head. And all bondage begins there.

7. Increase your skill not just your willMoroni was no dummy. He knew that simply inspiring troops was not enough. He followed President Hinckley's maxim of praying, but then getting up and getting to work. Moroni understood that prosecuting a war required enormous skill as well as will.

As you read through Moroni's war, you'll see that he was both a man of great ability and also a man who invested heavily in increasing the war-fighting ability of his people. Some of Moroni's impressive abilities include:

· Uses visible symbols to remind, declare loyalty and build morale (Alma 46:19-20, 36; 51:20; 62:4-6)

· Holds group rallies to strengthen resolve (Alma 46:21-22; 62:4-6

Develops hand-to-hand battle skill (Alma 48:8,14; 51:31)

· Builds clever defensive structures (Alma 48:8-10; 49:5, 8)

· Preaches skillfully to build faith and unity (Alma 48:7)

· Deploys key leaders skillfully (Alma 49:16-17, 20)

· Uses peace time to secure strategic perimeter with forces as well as settlements (Alma 50:1-10)

· Leverages previous success to recruit during peacetime (Alma 50:12)

· Builds political and popular support before taking on enemies (Alma 51:15)

· Creatively solves problems and develops tactics (Alma 52:21-39; 55:3-23)

· Deploys forces strategically (Alma 52:7-9)

Overcoming addiction is no different. Those in chemical bondage almost always lack the skills they'll need to break free and live free from their addictions. A good strategy needs to include a plan to read, take classes and receive mentoring that will give you the additional skills you need to deal with the hand-to-hand combat of regaining your freedom.

For example, I attended a 12-step program one evening and met a man who had been free of a pernicious pornography addiction for 8 years. He described a skill he had developed that made a big difference for him. First, he had learned that when a powerful impulse to indulge in pornography or masturbation overcame him it carried a hidden lie within it. The impulse always gave him the impression that it would press on him until he succumbed. In other words, it seemed to whisper, “You can fight me but I'll outlast you. I'll stay here until you satisfy me, so

you might as well give in now!” These words were never spoken, of course, but the feeling of the impulse implied this discouraging threat with a force more powerful than words.

“What I learned,” he said, “is that this is a lie. I learned over time that if I can just distract myself for 15 minutes, the impulse would either disappear or diminish to the point that I could handle it easily. I just needed to have two or three easy ways of distracting myself for that amount of time.” So that's what he learned to do. When it was possible, he would drop down and do a few sets of pushups and situps. In other situations he would breathe deeply for a few minutes. He would likewise recite a scripture that had deep meaning for him. “It was remarkable how quickly my emotions could change. Whereas a few minutes earlier I felt this awful force that I was convinced would clutch at me until I succumbed, just 5 minutes later I realized I could create different emotions that completely replaced that deceptive threat.”

When I understand that war against addiction requires skill, I become much more patient and careful in the repentance process. We know, for example, about the miraculous preservation of the Stripling Warriors in the first battle of Antiparah. But a closer reading helps us realize that Helaman also put the unskilled youths into the least risky role in the plan.85 They were to simply act as decoys. Helaman understood that he had to match risk with skill, and that “we were not sufficiently strong to contend with them; yea, I would not suffer that my little sons should fall into their hands.”86 In the end, the young soldiers were thrown into the bloody fray, but Helaman did so only when it was clear there was no alternative.

It is pure foolishness for an addict to assume that some powerful spiritual convictions are enough to empower them to conquer years of habit. A wise plan puts defense first, then in deliberate and measured ways exposes him to increased risk in a way that allows for retreat if problems occur. When the stripling warriors emerged from the safety of Judea, they were to stay a measured distance from the seasoned Lamanite soldiers. Was it risky? Yes. But it was an incremental risk. The stripling warriors may not have been as good at fighting as the Lamanites, but they were as good at running. So that was their role.” And it came to pass that we did flee before them, northward. And thus we did lead away the most powerful army of the Lamanites.”87

If you follow Moroni's entire campaign, you can see that he was neither impatient nor proud about his goals. For the first few years his goal was simply to stop the losses.88 He tried to keep the Lamanites from making any further progress by strengthening Nephites behind their defenses. It's not until the 10 th year that Moroni holds a council of war and plans to help the Nephites take back their lives.89 He does so in measured, careful ways that don't put them at risk of losing all they've protected.A good war plan for recovery from addiction should do the same thing. It should allow for a significant period of time where the sole goal is safety. You should hide behind your defenses and build up your strength—period. And then you should begin to venture out in calculated ways to try to regain your freedoms—but with a plan for retreat should problems occur.

85 Alma 56:30-3986 Alma 56:3987 Alma 56:3688 Alma 51:28-Alma 52:1489 Alma 52:19

And if problems occur, be sure you use them as a powerful source of skill building. Relapse is not the end; of the world. Rather, it should be the beginning of learning. If you lose some of your men—as happened to Moroni—you should stop and reassess your plan. You should increase your skill. You should measure your risks more accurately—did you rush into freedom too quickly? You should examine your thoughts to discover the patterns that predicted and created the relapse: Did you indulge in quarrels, greed, anger or lust in ways that separated you from the Spirit? You should identify the very specific strengths you need to work on that will make you a more skillful warrior in this long campaign.

Moroni faced “relapse” many times. But rather than give up, he got smarter. He studied the root cause of the problems and adjusted his plan. Usually the root causes lay in things the Nephites were doing and as we saw earlier, when that was the case, he confronted and addressed those internal problems. Because he was willing to learn from every setback and deal aggressively with the real problems, eventually the Nephites gained great power. After Moroni's fourth battle with recalcitrant Nephites, he began to see the fruits of his labors. It's a beautiful and hopeful description for anyone who wonders if they can ever get free from bondage to Satan. Listen to it carefully because it is full of promise for every one of us who struggles with sin.

“And he did raise the standard of liberty in whatsoever place he did enter, and gained whatsoever force he could in all his march towards the land of Gideon.

And it came to pass that thousands did flock unto his standard, and did take up their swords in the defense of their freedom, that they might not come into bondage.

And thus, when Moroni had gathered together whatsoever men he could in all his march, he came to the land of Gideon; and uniting his forces with those of Pahoran they became exceedingly strong, even stronger than the men of Pachus, who was the king of those dissenters who had driven the freemen out of the land of Zarahemla and had taken possession of the land.”90

If we fight in God's way, we will win. It will be difficult. But the very difficulty is designed to make of us the kind of people suited for freedom. Recovery from addiction is a process of becoming not just arriving. Make no mistake, blood will be spilled. Regaining your freedom is a cruel, brutal slog. Even the perfectly faithful stripling warriors suffered great injuries in the Battle of Cumeni:”... there were two hundred... who had fainted because of the loss of blood... neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds.”91

But if we fight His way, the conclusion is also sure: “and to our great astonishment, and also the joy of our whole army, there was not one soul of them who did perish...”92

Which leads me to my final testimony. I do not yet understand how the following statement is true. At this point I simply know that it is. I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is a sealing power. And to faithful parents this sealing makes unconditional promises. It does not violate the agency of our wandering ones, but there is an inexorable, powerful and undeniable force that ensures that these children will be somehow, someday back in the arms of their anxious, aching,

90 Alma 62:4-6

91 Alma 57:25

92 ibid

worried but worthy parents. I testify with Lorenzo Snow that, “in the next life we will have our wives, and our sons and daughters. If we do not get them all at once, we will have them some time, for every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is the Christ. You that are mourning about your children straying away will have your sons and your daughters...,” President Snow continues, “This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains. Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them... Inasmuch as we... stand as saviors... we will save our posterity.”93

Moroni's campaign took thirteen years. Ours may take more. In fact, in some difficult circumstances, as President Snow suggests, the campaign may extend into the next life. But the sealing power of Christ's Atonement is the most potent force in the universe and will not be robbed. We must fight. Just as Moroni, we are imperfect saviors. But if we stand as saviors on mount Zion, we will be joined by a Savior who will ultimately give us victory and give us our children.

Let us take up the title of liberty “In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children.”94 Let us fight to become the kind of people who can lead our children to freedom.

93 Lorenzo Snow, The Teachings of Lorenzo Snow, p.195

94 Alma 46:12

Appendix - The Battles

Of 19 battles, five are internal battles—in Moroni's mind, these internal battles are the central cause of all of the problems. In 6 battles Nephites win without a single loss of life. Of 13 battles between Nephites and Lamanites, in 10 the Nephites are victorious. In 3 they lose

What do we learn from the wins and losses? Certainly there were more battles than this—why these?

Alma chapters 45-46 – Amalickiah conspires to be king. Moroni leads a political battle then captains an attack on Amalickiah in which he flees to the Lamanites. Treason is punished with death (46:35). Few deny the covenant of freedom.

Alma chapter 49 – Lamanites attack w/o Amalickiah. Not a single soul lost (49:23). Nephites have all power over their enemies.

Alma chapter 50 – Morianton dissents after conflict with city of Lehi over land rights. Teancum chases them and kills Morianton. Peace restored. 50:35-36.

Alma chapter 51 –King-men try political change and fail (7). Then they rebel and are compelled through force to support law (15-20). Many are slain in battle while the Lamanites converge on Nephite lands.

Alma chapter 51:22-37. Lamanites take many cities (51:26). They are stopped in their progress by Teancum but not before they conquer many cities. Teancum assassinates Amalickiah.

Alma chapter 52--Many are slain on both sides. Moroni retakes Mulek through clever strategy. Jacob, a Lamanite commander, is killed.

Alma chapter 53:8-9 – Loss of cities on the West due to dissension (not major detailed battle). The Nephites' weak forces put them in danger. The Stripling Warriors volunteer and provide great hope.

Alma chapter 55--City and prisoners retaken with no bloodshed.

Alma chapter 56--Antipus and Helaman defeat much larger Lamanite army – no loss of Stripling warriors. Antipus and many chief captains (56:51) and Nephite soldiers killed.

Alma chapter 57--The city is retaken with no bloodshed—Lamanites flee (57:4). (57:12) The city is retaken with no bloodshed.

Alma chapter 57:17-36. Gid had been taking prisoners to Zarahemla. When they heard of battle they rose up and overpowered Gid who then returned and saved the day just in time. No loss of Stripling Warriors. But 200 of the Stripling Warriors are wounded.

Alma chapter 58—Helaman, Gid and Teomner take the city by superior knowledge of geography draw them out and leave small forces to take city, then circle back. No loss of blood (58:28)

Alma chapter 59—Nephihah is lost because of conflict in the central government which keep reinforcements from being sent.

Alma chapter 61—Pacus is appointed king of the Nephites by a Kingmen faction. He makes a pact with Lamanites. Zarahemla lost and Pahoran government goes into exile.

Alma chapter 62:1-11—Kingmen insurrection is put down. Many rebels are killed and the legal government is restored. The treason laws are strictly enforced.

Alma chapter 62:14-16 – Many Lamanite prisoners are taken, all covenant to become Ammonites (not a lot of detail).

Alma chapter 62:18-26—Moroni breaches the wall and lets in armies by night. Not one soul lost (26). Lamanite prisoners all join Ammonites (27-30).

Alma chapter 62:30-37—Lamanites flee Lehi and other cities then consolidate into one army. Teancum assassinates Ammoron. Moroni attacks and Lamanites flee from land (39). The war ends.