Crewe & Nantwich u3a

Newsletter

August 2021 Volume 23 Issue 4

Monthly Meetings (Gill Weston)

Contents

Page 1 Monthly Meetings Page 4 Chair’s Message Page 5 Secret Listeners Page 8 Quiz Page 9 Farmer’s Market Page 11 Murphy’s Page 12 Trip of a Lifetime

Page 15 Poet’s Corner Page 20 Strawberry Tea Page 21 George’s Jokes Page 22 Sewing Group Page 23 Colwich Incident Page 27 Quiz Answers Page 28 Committee

Date Time Details Place

Friday 3rd September

2 - 4 pm

Tea and Chat

Walking groups (JR) Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 17th September

2 – 4 pm

Speaker Meeting

Geoff Mackey – Building Projects in Africa

Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 8th October

2 - 4 pm

Tea and Chat

Sewing Group (DB) Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 22nd October

2 – 4 pm

Speaker Meeting

Hazel Griffiths –

Eva Perón

Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 5th November

2 – 4 pm

Tea and chat

Bridge Groups (CM) Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 19th November

2 – 4 pm

Speaker Meeting

Roger Wickson - Working canal boats

Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 3rd December

2 - 4 pm

Tea and Chat

Book groups (SS, MH) Wistaston Memorial Hall

Friday 17th December

2 – 4 pm

Social Christmas Concert/party The Brittles

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Members’ Meetings from September.

At last, after a long wait, we plan to start our Monthly Members Meetings in

person, subject to any Covid Restrictions.

From September we have planned a programme of monthly Tea and Chats,

usually the first Friday, and monthly speaker meetings, usually the third Fri-

day. These will all be between 2 and 4 pm at the Memorial Hall, until num-

bers become too great! Apologies to those groups that meet on a Friday af-

ternoon. It is impossible to find a time which does not clash with other

groups.

These meetings are open to all members, and you will not have to book, or

sign up to attend, unless it is a special event. We hope that members can

meet up with their friends, but also meet others who are in different groups or

no groups. It will be an opportunity to find out what is happening, what other

groups are doing, to listen to interesting speakers on a variety of subjects, to

meet the committee, ask questions, suggest new groups, voice concerns etc.

There will be no charge, but we will be asking for donations towards refresh-

ments and the cost of the room.

For the Tea and Chats, we aim to have different groups or sev-

eral groups together organising the afternoon and refresh-

ments. They will also be able to tell people about their activity,

and maybe showcase it or provide a brief demonstration.

At the Monthly Speaker Meetings, there will be an invited speaker who will

talk to us for around 45 minutes, followed by a question-and-answer session.

There will then be the opportunity to have a cuppa and a biscuit and mingle

with other members.

September 17th Geoff Mackey - Building Projects in Africa.

For more than 10 years, Geoff took teams to East Africa to build

schools and hospitals – Geoff gives a thoughtful but amusing

journalogue.

October 22nd Hazel Griffiths - Santa Evita - The life and

legacy of Eva Perón.

(cont.)

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Eva Perón was not just a character in a musical. This talk explores the true story of Argentina's charismatic and legendary First Lady. Was she a saint or a sinner? Hazel's research has taken several years and has included two visits to Buenos Aires. Watch a preview of the talk on Preview: Santa Evita (Hazel Griffiths) – YouTube. Hazel Griffiths has worked as a cruise ship speaker for a decade. You may have heard her talk about about Grace Kelly, or A Passage to India, during one of the Mirthy sessions. November 19th Roger Wickson Working Canal Boats Roger is one of our u3a members and a leader for the Medieval History and Recorded Opera Groups. He has been canal boating for many years, and has a special interest in old working canal boats, and the ‘Rose and Castle’ decorations on them. We want to get everyone involved if they wish, so if you would like to help in any way, then please let me know. I will be creating a rota of people to help with refreshments, sign people in, greet new members, etc. The more people that join in, the less often you will be asked!!!

We are busy planning the programme of speakers for 2022, and are looking for speakers from within the u3a, as well as outside. Please contact me if you would be willing to give a talk, or you have a suggestion for speakers.

Advance Warning! Individuals or groups needed to participate in the Christmas Concert/Party.

Gill Weston

Members Meetings Coordinator 01270 618853

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Reading while sunbathing makes you well red!

A Bike cannot stand on its own, because it is two tired

Flattery has turned more heads than garlic

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

Loft: A place where you keep the things you will never want until after you

throw them away

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays absolutely no atten-

tion to criticism

George Jones

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Chair’s Message

This is just a short greeting to all U3A members, celebrating that, finally, we can move on from focussing upon the varying waves of hope and despair that have governed our lives over the last seventeen months. While we can-not guarantee that some further restrictions upon our lives will not be im-posed in the future, we have, at last, been able to experience normal social interactions over recent weeks – and haven’t we enjoyed ourselves !!

We have hugged our loved ones, chatted unmasked to our friends, gone to the pub or out for a coffee and (probably less successfully) tried to book a holiday in the sun. In Crewe and Nantwich U3A some groups are already meeting face to face, and most others are scheduled to re-start in Septem-ber. On July 23rd we held our Strawberry Tea at the Brittles. This had been in the planning for many months, in the knowledge that it might not go ahead – but what a lovely occasion it turned out to be. It may be that the last seventeen months have made us appreciate more than ever how important social contact is to our health and happiness.

So we approach the Autumn term with optimism, and fingers crossed, that everything will be back in full swing.

Thank you all for continuing to be members of our U3A. The Committee is grateful for the support and encouragement that you have given over the past year, and we look forward to implementing the plans for extending our range of activities that we have described to you during this fallow period.

Best wishes to you all, Judith Ross

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If I Have Told My Wife once, I have told

her a dozen times. Once she has asked me to do a job, she does not have to keep reminding me every six months.

Scientists got together to study the ef-

fects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and

the result was staggering.

I’m trying to organize a hide and seek

tournament, but good players are really

hard to find.

What do you say to comfort a friend

who’s struggling with grammar? There,

their, they’re. (GJ)

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Quiz (Answers on Page 27)

1. The tree Quercus Suber produces what product?

2. Which motor cycle company is also the worlds largest producer of pian-os?

3. Rachael Blackmore was the first woman to achieve which sporting first in 2021?

4. Which planet in our solar system revolves the fastest, Jupiter, Saturn, or Mercury?

5. Tivoli Gardens, the 3rd oldest amusement park in the world is in which country?

6. In the Queen song Killer Queen what type of Champagne is kept in her “pretty cabinet”?

7. Tiger Lily is an Indian Princess in which popular book and film?

8. Which river is the lowest below sea level?

9. What kind of fish is the main ingredient in Worcestershire sauce?

10. In which city would you find Frederic Chopin airport?

11. Evangelista Torricelli invented which weather related measuring de-vice?

12. From which type of cactus is Tequila made?

13. In which English city did Adolph Hitler study art?

14. Which Unmistakable sight would you find in Sagarmartha national park?

15. What was the defoliant called that was used by the Americans in Vi-etnam?

16. In which book did Sherlock Holmes first appear?

Barrie & Anne Lloyd C&N u3a Quiz Group Leaders

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The Secret Listeners

Few houses in England could equal the dramatic and theatrical history of pol-itician and socialite, Sir Philip Sassoon’s Trent Park, near to Enfield. During the 1920’s and 1930’s, Sassoon used Trent Park as his base to entertain no-table guests from the world of politics and entertainment, ranging from Win-ston Churchill, Edward V111 and Mrs Simpson, King George V1 and a young Princess Elizabeth to Charlie Chaplin, Rex Whistler, Lawrence of Arabia, George Bernard Shaw, art historian Kenneth Clark, Evelyn Waugh and Noel Coward. But, the house was to take on a different role and its subsequent use by Brit-ish Intelligence Services during the Second World War, was a game chang-er, both stories are steeped in intrigue.

Second World War and the Listeners. Three months after Sassoon died, War broke out, and Trent Park was requi-sitioned and turned into a prison for captured German military. The captives were all there for a particular reason. The year 2019, marked not only 80 years since the outbreak of the Second World War, but it was also the for-mation of a group of " The Secret Listeners", British Intelligence spies who, from December 1939 at Trent Park, ingeniously bugged the conservations initially of captured Luftwaffe pilots shot down during the Battle of Britain, U-boat crews, and then ordinary German prisoners of war. But from 1942, Trent Park was to contain 59 of Hitler’s top captured generals and senior of-ficers, captured in North Africa, after their defeat at El Alamein.

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Each room in the house and grounds, even the trees and shrubs were wired for sound, the prisoners were completely unaware that “The Secret Listen-ers” were busy gathering and recording the captives secret conversations, the listeners were located in the basement of the house. From the time of their capture, these Nazi generals were wined and dined and often transported to Simpson’s in the Strand by their captors, British In-telligence, and whilst there, they were lavishly entertained, enjoying rare champagnes, lobster and foie gras, until one day Prime Minister Winston Churchill came into the restaurant, and was so horrified to see them there, that he tried to stop it, British Intelligence actually agreed with him, but they simply took the Germans to the Ritz instead.

Although this lavishness seemed extravagant and shocking at the time, the secrets that these Nazi Generals revealed as they chatted to each other so freely in such a convivial and congenial environment, helped considerably to loosen their tongues as the wine and whisky was allowed to flow freely. Keep topping up the glasses, was the order. Clearly, there was a huge expendi-ture, but what was being learned and absorbed by British Intelligence was significant, and well worth the cost. Regular walks around the grounds were the daily format, everyone had to attend. The captives were accompanied at all times by British Intelligence, and on route, there were hidden microphones and listening devices, which allowed “The Secret Listeners” to gather important information, and provide an intimate insight into the minds of the German military elite.

An example of the intelligence gained from Trent Park, was the existence and location of the Ger-man rocket development at the V-1 and V-2 Rocket launching sites at Peenemunde, Nazi General von Thoma freely discussed with his fellow officers, what he had seen there. This was vital information, and it was passed on very quickly to Bomber Command who carried a suc-cessful targeted raid on the rocket sites. Intelli-gence was also gained on war crimes and atroc-ities, plus political views, and how the resistance in Germany was progressing, leading eventually to the attempt to assassinate Hitler in July 1944. Two of “The Secret Listeners” were Jewish émi-grés, Ernst Lederer, grandfather of actress (and Trent Park Museum Trustee) Helen Lederer, and the late Fritz Lustig. Their work remained classified until 1999, with many of the listeners going to their graves still bearing their secrets.

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Lustig had been previously interned by the British as “an enemy” due to his German nationality, and was sent to a camp on the Isle of Man, where he played the cello in concerts with other interned musicians. After his release he joined the Pioneer Corps, the only regiment open to ex-German refu-gees. He was recruited to the Combined Services Detailed Interrogation Centre (CSDIC) to train as a secret listener, where he was told of what in-formation to listen out for, and to pull levers to record whenever he heard anything of importance. As a native German – speaker he could understand the nuances of what was being said. “We had to learn to distinguish be-tween different voices and dialects”, he said.

The recordings were made on shellac discs and " The Secret Listeners" were ordered to stay on duty each evening, until the prisoners fell asleep. “Some prisoners were die-hard Nazis, others wanted to help the Allies, alt-hough they pretended to be good Nazis” The transcripts of around 100,000 records have been declassified and are now kept in the National Archives at Kew. Lustig was asked what were the most intriguing secrets he remembered overhearing. He replied “At first most of the prisoners I listened to were those men rescued from

U-boats, or shot down Luftwaffe pilots. In December 1943, the German bat-tleship Scharnhorst was sunk off Norway, with a crew of 2000 men, most of who perished, about 40 survived, and they arrived at Trent Park, and what they told their fellow cellmates was extremely useful information for the Ad-miralty and Allies. Finally, Trent Park is five minutes walk from Cockfosters Tube station, it is open to the public free of charge. A successful campaign has resulted in part of Trent Park House being turned into a Second World War museum, which is planned to open by 2022.

David Cooke.

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I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger

dolls are and he replied, ‘Aisle B, back.’

What did the Surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.

Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.

If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.

Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene. (GJ)

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Murphy's Pub.

The men were sitting next to each other at Murphy’s Pub in London

After a while, one bloke looks at the other and says,

“I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland”.

The other bloke responds proudly.

“Yes, that I am!”

The first one says,

“So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?”

The other bloke answers, “I’m from Dublin. I am.”

The first one responds, “So am I!”

“Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other bloke says,

“A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of

town.”

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world. So did I”

And to what school would you have been going?”

The other bloke answers,

“Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.”

The first one gets really excited and says,

“And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, let’s see, I graduated in 1964.”

The first one exclaims,

“The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us!

I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight.

Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!”

About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters,

“It’s going to be a long night tonight.”

Vicky asks,

“Why do you say that, Brian?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

Barrie Lloyd

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July Farmers Market

At 8am on 31st July, 5 intrepid committee members ventured forth for a first

for Crewe and Nantwich u3a – we had decided to display our wares at Nant-

wich Farmers Market. How exactly does a u3a display its wares? Well, we

were probably the stall with the fewest wares on the table, but that didn ’t

matter as we had the brightest stall and the most people around it, so it didn ’t

matter that there was very little on the table apart from leaflets and newslet-

ters.

We were there to raise awareness of candnu3a, the very same rationale for

sponsoring a planter outside St Mary’s Church in Nantwich. It always surpris-

es me that for a huge organisation, there are still many people in the UK who

do not know about the u3a. It seems that, in some areas, we are a very well -

kept secret.

I had put out a call for volunteers to help us, and we were joined by 16 of our

friendly members throughout the day, all working very hard at stopping pass-

ers-by and enquiring whether they already knew about the u3a, before en-

couraging them to take a look at the website to find out more. We didn ’t

make too many faux-pas…it’s not always easy to tell how old someone is!

We met some lovely people from neighbouring and not so neighbouring

u3as, Madeley and Swansea being 2 examples. The treasurer was most

pleased as we even managed to sign up several people on the day…

Our advances were not wel-

comed by everyone; indeed,

one of our volunteers comment-

ed that she herself often side-

stepped people who tried to en-

gage her in the street – after

doing a stint on the stall, she

added that she would be a little

less brusque in brushing them

off in future. It’s always good to

step into someone else’s shoes

for a few moments…

Again, we were supported by a team without whom we could not have host-

ed the stall…our u3a committee and volunteers who were present on the

day. (cont.)

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John Burton who has done a great job of

visiting groups to take updated photo-

graphs, Kim K who worked to design our

bright and cheerful new banner, and I

have to add Lynne Jones (Membership

Secretary), who did most of the legwork

and phonework, sorting out our commit-

tee sweatshirts, bunting, banner and

leaflets.

These days can be hard on the legs, but ultimately I believe it is worth it to

raise our profile. We have to have an eye to the future and we need to wel-

come younger members in order to grow our group leaders of the future. We

are very hopeful that a new intake of members will provide our ‘nursery’ and

that ultimately, new strong groups will develop from events such as promo-

tion stalls.

(If anyone is interested in leading a new group or joining the promotions

team, contact me and we’ll work on a plan – development@candnu3a.org.uk)

Sue Steele <><><><><><><><><><><>

A gentleman who loved his wife dearly feared she was not hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doc-

tor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do, said the

Doctor, stand about 40’ away (Note the proper measurement so you can un-derstand what you are being advised) from her, and in a normal conversa-tional speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30’, then 20’, and so

on, until you get a response. That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the Sitting Room. He stood about 40’ away, and in a

normal tone he asks, 'Darling, what's for Dinner? No response. So, the hus-band moves closer to the kitchen, about 30’ from his wife and repeats, ‘Darling, what's for dinner?’ Still no response. Next, he moves into the dining

room where he is about 20’ from his Wife and asks, ‘Sweetheart, what's for dinner?’ Again, he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10’ away. ‘My Love, what's for dinner?’ He hears nothing. So, he walks

right up behind her. ‘Light of my Life, what's for dinner?’ and at last, a re-sponse; In a screeching voice she shouted out; ‘Oh for Goodness Sake

Ralph, for the Fifth Time, its Chicken!’ (GJ)

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The Trip of a Lifetime Part 2

In the last U3A newsletter, I wrote of our experiences as working volunteers in South Africa in 2001/2. Now I move on to part 2 of the seven month trip undertaken by Marta and myself, and our three-week stay in Australia.

The thirteen hour trip from Johannesburg to Sydney was due east across 3-4 time zones, and by the time we arrived mid-afternoon at our hotel in Sydney, we were both shattered with jet lag and ready for bed. Resisting the urge to do just that, we spent the next few hours wandering around Sydney Harbour and viewing the famous Bridge and Opera House. Eventually succumbing to jet lag back at the hotel, we cursed the cleaners out in the corridor early next morning, only realising later that it was mid-morning and we had slept for a full twelve hours before being woken by their morning activities!

Our stay in Sydney was divided into two parts, and the highlight was undoubt-edly the climb to the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge which we undertook on Anzac Day. The experience in a group of twelve lasted a full three hours and was quite formal and regimented, with overalls being worn throughout, cameras, money and cards being left at the bottom in case they fell out of pockets on the climb and hit passers-by below, and clips from our overalls attached to wires on the bridge to prevent us falling off. Nevertheless we en-joyed the experience immensely, and pictures were taken by remote camera at the top which we were able to purchase at the end of the afternoon.

We were told that when in Sydney, we must visit Bondi beach, and that was where we headed one after-noon by train and foot. I had visited the beach before and had been disappointed, and this time was no different, with the terms ‘faded glo-ry’ and ‘posers’ coming to mind. We did not stay long!

We enjoyed our walks around Syd-ney rather more, particularly the parks in the City, with flying foxes coming in to roost adding to the experience. We also enjoyed the ferry rides from the Harbour to Manley and other waterfront locations.

From the airport, we now headed to the centre of Australia and Alice Springs and Uluru Rock (also known as Ayers Rock). Here were real outback loca-tions, and of course we participated in a bush-tucker meal one evening whilst we were there. We enjoyed the visits to the Flying Doctor Service base and museum and the first Telegraph Station. However, for both of us, the highlight of our visit to the ‘Red Centre’ was our evening at Uluru and the changing col-ours on the Rock as the sun set.

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For what seemed ages, we waited for something to happen and, just as we prepared ourselves to be disappointed, we saw the colours on the Rock changing from a dark brown to a light yellowy brown. This lasted no more than five to ten minutes before it got really dark, but we were so pleased that we had witnessed and tak-en pictures of this sighting of the Rock in all its glory.

In keeping with the wishes of the indigenous people, we de-cided not to climb the Rock the next day, but enjoyed a tour around the base with a very knowledgeable local guide in-stead. We also enjoyed trips to the Katherine Gorge and the Olgas, a rock formation near Alice Springs.

Heading north again, we arrived at Darwin and a trip to the Kakadu National Park. This was in the tropical part of Australia, and being there in April meant that we avoided the worst of the heavy monsoon rains which lash the area at the turn of the year. However large parts of the Park were still flooded and could only be accessed by boat. The rocky outcrops which jut out from the waters were home to rock art which we were able to visit and enjoy on foot and we were also able to see the many termite mounds of im-mense size. The warning notices about not swimming in the pools were not there for show, but the only crocodiles we saw whilst we were in the Park were back at base, with giant crocodiles being enticed to leap out of the wa-ter to catch lumps of meat on the end of poles.

The next part of our journey almost did not happen as the daily flight to Cairns was changed from 8am to 6am and we were not told. We avoided eye contact with the seated passengers as we boarded the aircraft at dead on 6am but could quite clearly hear the tut-tutting! Typical ‘pommies-on-tour’, we could almost hear them mouthing, or something to that effect, but we were entirely blameless on this occasion!

Cairns of course is the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef and we were lucky to pick a perfect day for our trip out to the Reef. When in South Africa, we had both done some diving practice, and now I was able to put practice into experience as I joined a dive on the Reef, whilst Marta undertook a hel-icopter ride over the Reef. We both enjoyed our experiences immensely.

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Whilst in Cairns, Marta headed to the far north of Australia on a two-day trip and we both enjoyed a trip on the Kuranda cable car and scenic railway.

It would have been nice to have headed back south by train or coach, but time was pressing and it was on a plane that we journeyed back to Sydney. There we separat-ed for a few days as Marta headed by train to the Aus-tralian capital, Canberra, to visit an old family friend, whilst I head-ed on the train to Melbourne for a trip on the famous ‘Puffing Billy’ steam train and a tour of the wine-fields.

Time flies when you are enjoying yourself and, all-too-soon it seemed, we had completed our tour of Australia and were heading back to the airport in a yellow taxi, ready for the final part of our trip-of-a-lifetime, and a journey back in time (for me) to Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand. And that will form the basis for the third and final part of my article in the next U3A news-letter.

Martin Jones

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How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.

Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something. Why are toilets always so good at poker? They always get a flush I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. But if anything, it made him more sluggish. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie. (ed)

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Poets Corner Tireless Nurses Glorious, uniformed, tender, tireless nurses Caring and treating patients, those glorious nurses. Blood pressure, temperature and oxygen intake Need recording, assessing by those tireless nurses. Always responding to patients calling, demanding, Always with a smile they attend, our tireless nurses. Reassuring, encouraging with tender care shown, A soothing word, gentle touch from tireless nurses. Every minute of their working day, their patients Watching, gaze with awe of those tireless nurses. Some complaining, some praising, admiring, respecting Our precious angels of mercy, tireless nurses. Lauding them Tim, as they flit like butterflies and bees From bed to bed, God bless them! Those tireless nurses. Tim Lloyd <><><><><><><><><><><>

The computer swallowed some of our Members, Yes, honestly, it's true! They pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It's devoured them completely The thought just makes me squirm. Maybe they caught a virus, Or they have been eaten by a computer worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind. I've even used the Internet But nothing could I find. I asked Google in desperation My searches to refine. The reply from them was negative Not a thing was found online. So, if someday in your 'In Box ' Our u3a Members you should see. Please 'Scan' and 'Paste' them In an e-mail back to me. George Jones

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What can I say that hasn’t already been said? Of all our brave nurses forever by a bed. Of doctors on call, hardly ever at home Determined to save us whatever the cost Desperately grieving for those we have lost. We mustn’t forget the scientists as we go for our jabs Working round the clock, almost living in their labs. Dedicated professionals willing to endure As the nation waits and watches, longing for a cure. But it’s not just the medics that are on the front line Scores of men and women support this life of mine. My wheelie bin is still emptied, my post is delivered All done with a cheery smile. We expect to hire a taxi, board a bus or train Spare a thought for the risks they are taking In contact with so many, of catching a Covid strain. Supermarket shelves are still stocked, staff working the tills Or there’s home delivery and click and collect, Many working through the night to see orders are correct. With so many choices on offer it’s so easy to forget All of those working to support us, All of those deserving our respect. We claim we uphold our democracy, Our rights to liberty and free speech And we look to our security services To help preserve our peace. But as the thin blue line is now stretching, Struggling to cope with every breach Remember that Covid’s the common ene-my, Not police and firefighters scorned and hurt whilst on duty. Whatever your politics, be they red, blue or green Forget your differences and support those “unseen” We’re in this together, love and respect one another And united we will emerge all the better

Unsung Heroes by Maureen Sawtell

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The Stranger

I awoke. Warm, comfortable I lay Looking into a most beautiful face, That of an angel I pray. Her breath, a whisper, and long soft hair Caressed my furrowed brow. “Hush, just lie still, there.” That gentlest of touch, I recall it now Holding my head in her lap ‘til anon, In the flash of a blue light I vow She’d vanished, and so quickly gone. A paramedic said “I’ll care for you now, You are not in any danger.” Where is she? I thought, who is she? My guardian angel, the stranger. Tim Lloyd <><><><><><><><><><><>

I hate History It’s boring I hated history at school ! A statement I have heard many times in my classes. At this point I usually take a vote……..hands up if you hated history at school…. Many hands raised. Now lower your hands if you now love history. Very rare to see a still raised hand. Why is this? Well school was all dates and kings and queens and if unlucky the Agrarian revolution. It wasn’t personal to you. Well with Family history we don’t do name Henry XIII six wives, we do your history. What were your ancestors doing while Queen Victoria mourned Prince Albert? Did they fight at Waterloo, were they at Ypres or the Somme in WW1? Did they receive medals? Were they affected by the ‘Spanish flu?’ What were their houses like and sanitary condi-tions? How many children did they have, how many chil-dren died before their parents? What were their occupations? There’s a good chance that living in Crewe proba-bly means your ancestors were ‘immigrants’ from Liverpool, Manchester, Lancashire and Shrop-shire in fact all over the UK. Bringing either labour or skills to the railway. People say that their ancestors were not successful but I counter that with “oh yes they were” otherwise you would not be reading this. They have gone through wars, plagues and famine etc. so yes they were successful.

John Ferguson Genealogy 1

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"Staying Home Alone by Maureen Sawtell

How will I cope alone at home? Day after day without end No U3a classes and choirs to attend No having a laugh with my friends. Doreen’s set us all our art homework Making a file about the sun. Stephens teaching us all to read music Even Gareth Malone’s joined the fun! Boris’s message is clear and appealing Stay at home, stay safe and be well! Two metres apart and no cheating Together we’ll get through this hell. Thank God for the phone, and the ‘net I never thought I’d hear myself say But these are good ways to support each other Keeping us close day by day. A call to arms for our dear NHS Many thousands step up for the cause Neighbours and tradesmen support those in need Spreading kindness to help those indoors. Now our spring gardens are blooming again Showing us life can and must go on Begging us to believe we’ll survive all the pain Determined the fight will be won Faith doesn’t survive in our churches alone It exists in the midst of our hearts and souls It’s there in the many kindnesses shown In the smiles and the cheery hellos. And as we emerge from this terrible strife Midst devastating hurt and grief Let us be healed and embrace a new life Turning despair into hope and belief. <><><><><><><><><><><>

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there’s a dog. (ed)

19

Parking the Jargon by Maureen Sawtell

There was a question on the internet About our English Language being so abused Asking for words and phrases too often overused. Way back when, at the end of the day Like, sort of and you know were leading the way. I thought of meetings I had attended Jargon obscuring what was intended. Let’s park that and you can ping me. Were still pushing the envelope, reaching for synergy. No offence, just to say, at the end of the day Are we on the same page or shall I circle back? We’ve got to ensure were on the right track. Let’s think outside the box, use some blue sky thinking And not for nothing can you share your learnings. For the fact is you see, We’re not using the lower fruit on the tree. So let’s buck up and get the ball rolling I want 110 %, are you still following? You may think you are hip and clever Using rehearsed phrases, metaphors and whatever To fire up your audience, pepping up your address. But would correct yet imaginative English really fail to impress? For the fact equals because, and circling back, to return Then there is sharing your learnings Better still, share with us what you have learned. Thinking outside the box and blue sky thinking Implies using imaginations for unique and innovative solutions. And as for not using the lower fruit on the tree If the need is to accept more difficult projects Then describe, enthuse and challenge your “subjects” And when you know you have gained their consent Drop the hackneyed and impossible 110%. Please think carefully about what comes next The words you will use when composing the text. With an English language so rich and diverse Be it written or spoken, prose or in verse Your choice is immeasurable, enlightening and pleasurable. You won’t be thought old fashioned Parking the jargon, keeping it rationed. Learning a new word every day You will soon realise that you have found the best way To enrich and enliven your speech and its effect As your audience sit up and listen, showing their respect.

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After a week of rising temperatures and blazing sunshine, the morning of our first event in over 18 months, the Strawberry Tea, dawned cloudy and cooler, which was quite a relief to the committee. By 1.30pm, gazebos had been mounted (and moved), games set out, raffles prizes displayed, sand-wiches, cakes, strawberries and cream prepared, Instrumental Folk were poised to start playing and – some may say, most important of all – Judith’s ‘not quite non- alcoholic’ Pimms was ready and waiting. And we were off!

Our Instrumental Folk group set a lovely summer tone for the afternoon and people were able to gather and chat in groups, sheltered by the ga-zebos, kindly lent to us by several u3a members. Vice Chair, Bryan Roe kept the afternoon flowing, act-ing as an informal MC and Mary Hibbs and her helpers did a sterling job persuading attendees to part with that rare thing, cash, and chance their luck on the raffle. (Again, prizes kindly donated by members, with proceeds going to offset the cost of the afternoon.) We have some very talented bakers in candnu3a and were very grateful for the wide variety and ‘deliciousness’ of the cakes donated for the event. Several committee members and u3a members spent the morning preparing a wide selection of sandwiches; I had one member ask if we had bought them in as the platters looked so lovely!

The committee would like to publicly thank all those members who volun-teered and helped to make the afternoon such a success. There are too many to name individually here, however we could not have done this with-out the willing helpers who supported the committee. I must especially thank the ladies who assisted with catering - Gill’s Team A and my Team B; it was a very busy afternoon for us! Also, we all owe thanks to Gill Weston, the committee officer who oversaw organisation of the whole afternoon.

The Strawberry Tea afternoon marked an important step on our road to re-opening, as an opportunity to have a social gathering which, for the most part took place outdoors and allowed for social distancing for those who wished to distance. We are very aware that some members have mixed feelings about returning to social events, however for those who felt ready to re-engage, the Strawberry Tea was a perfect opportunity to do so, and was, we hope, the first event in a developing programme of social activities with Crewe and Nantwich u3a.

Sue Steele Development

Candnu3a Strawberry Tea

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Some funny Stories from George Jones

A Woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a

fly swatter. ‘What are you doing?’ She asked. ‘Hunting Flies’, he responded.

‘Oh. Killed any?’ She asked. ‘Yes, Three Males, Two Females,’ he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. ‘How can you tell?’ He responded, ‘Three were on a

beer can, Two were on the phone.

Four Retired sailors were walking down the street, when they saw a sign say-

ing 'Veterans Bar', so in they went. The barman asks what they will have and

they all settle for a pint. ‘That'll be 20p each,’ said the barman. They can't be-

lieve their good luck. They finished their drinks and ordered another round,

and the barman again said, ‘That'll be 20p each’. This whets their curiosity,

so they ask him how he can serve a pint for 20p? The barman said, ‘I guess

you've seen the decor here, well I'm a retired Submariner, and I always want-

ed to own a pub. Last year I hit the lottery for a double roll-over and decided

to open this old Brickwood's place for real veterans. Every drink costs 20p,

beer, wine, shots, all the same. They notice a group of men at the other end

who haven't ordered anything. They ask the barman, ‘What's with them?’ The

barman smiles, ‘Oh them! They're RAF lads, they're waiting for a Happy

Hour!’

Football is in the news this year for all the wrong reasons, but did you hear

the one about David Beckham and his son? Little Romeo Beckham goes up to his father and says: ‘Dad, you're a famous footballer and wear the number seven shirt, so when I grow up what number will I wear?’ After a bit of thought

David said to his son: ‘Romeo, Romeo, wear Four out there Romeo!’

Two Signalmen were standing on the foc’sl 0f their ship looking up at the

Jackstaff. An engineer, carrying his toolbox, walked up to them and asked

what they were doing. ‘We’re supposed to find the height of the jackstaff’ said

one of the signalmen ‘but we don’t have a ladder’. The engineer set down his

tool box, opened it and took out a wrench. He loosened a few bolts, and laid

the jackstaff down on the deck then he took out a tape measure and meas-

ured the jackstaff. He announced ‘Twelve feet, six inches’ and walked away.

One of the Signalmen shook his head and laughed. ‘Typical engineer! We

asked for the height and he tells us the length’.

A husband comes home from work and finds his blond wife painting the kitch-en. She is wearing an overcoat and a raincoat on top of that. He asks why she is dressed like that? She said I read the instructions unlike you, and it

said ‘For best results put on two coats!’

22

It seems so long now since we first went into Lockdown, but determined the Sewing Group would still keep going. We decided that Friday afternoons would still be our time together. So we would still meet via Skype and later via Zoom. Not thinking the Lockdown would last so long I asked the Group if they were up for a challenge the idea was that each member would make a gift for another member of the group, they could choose anything as long as they had sewn it. We thought in a few weeks we could give out our gifts. Time went by and we tried to arrange get-togethers outside to meet and give our gifts. We sure know how to enjoy ourselves, last Christmas we sat outside having

coffee and mince pies, played pass the parcel and received Secret Santa

gifts. We were all excited to hear we could start our group and suddenly we

were in Lockdown again. Not to be put off we met outside in my garden for

coffee and cake. At last we managed to give our gifts, it was like Christmas

in July as we played a game passing gifts.

The Sewing Group help out Leighton Hospital by making Scrubs laundry bags and mask extenders and headbands to attach the masks. We also made masks to sell to the public to raise money for various Chari-ties. Each week we had made various items and learned new techniques. We have sewn Christmas items and Easter decorations. We have had such fun although nothing is the same as meeting face to face each week we certain-ly have done the next best thing. During these strange unusual time we have learned how to master technology with Zoom. Although we had help and guidance from the lovely Eleanor the daughter of one of the members. She as guided us and taught us so much when many of us shy away from things tech-nical. Looking back now over the last months when many were isolated I feel lucky to be part of this amazing group. We have been there for each other offering support , helping each other out and hav-ing a laugh together. So we gave fingers crossed that we are finally starting back what a celebration that will be. Denise Brookes Sewing Group Leader

Sewing Group Activities

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Photography Group (PHG)

The photography group is planning to resume face to face meetings at the Brittles Pavilion in September. Meanwhile, it’s been almost ‘business as usual’ but in a different format. Competition entries have been submitted via email and viewed on Dropbox for voting. Presentations and live demonstrations of software have continued during our monthly Google meet ‘meetings’. New members would be welcome to join us, contact John Burton or Michelle Boden for further information. Examples of our competition themes are in the u3a Picture Gallery under PHG Photography Group. – Michelle Boden

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Report on the U3A Italian group – our activities during the pandemic.

Throughout the time when we have been unable to meet face to face, we

have been able to keep in touch through Zoom, which was wonderful for ena-

bling us to continue to learn and speak Italian. Initially we all had to get used

to using it, but luckily we didn’t have too many blips!

Andrea Lewis, a member of the group, set the meetings up and coped bril-

liantly with the technology.

We usually take turns to tell each other our news in Italian, but we found it

difficult to find much to say for a while because we were doing so little! Lucki-

ly, we had interesting articles from News in Slow Italian and Tutto Italiano to

read and translate. These were emailed to us in advance of a Zoom session

so that we could print them off. We were all very grateful to Chris Creer (who

leads the group) and Andrea Lewis who found the articles, which ranged from

weekly episodes about Pliny to new methods of recycling!

It has been so good to have had the contact during the last year or more

(especially as it was the highlight of the week for many of us for a while!) and we are really looking forward to starting our face to face sessions in the au-

tumn.

Sue Bowler

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It was the usual busy Friday evening at Crewe Station. People surged forward as the Liverpool - Euston express stopped at Platform 5, and the few empty seats were soon filled. As the passengers settled down for their trip, stowing coats, and spreading magazines and newspapers, there was a change of drivers. Eric Goode from Crewe spoke briefly to the Liverpool driver, as he took over the controls and made his routine checks. A few mo-ments later, at ten minutes past six on Friday, 19th September, 1986, doors slammed, the green flag waved, and Eric drove his train slowly out of the station, accelerating until he was thundering south at 100 miles an hour. Eric Goode was born and bred in South Cheshire, and started to work for British Rail as a fireman on steam locomotives in the early fifties. He rose from fireman to driver of the most modern trains, including the honour of driving the Royal Train. On the evening of 19th September, he should have been calling bingo at the P. Way Club off Gresty Road, but he worked an extra shift to oblige a fellow-driver, a favour that cost him his life. That evening there were two men in the signal box at Colwich Junction, thirty miles from Crewe and five miles east of Stafford. One was a senior technician, busy preparing for some weekend maintenance. The other, Pe-ter Millward the signalman, was watching the approach of the northbound London - Manchester train, a few minutes after its scheduled time of 6.27. Its route to Manchester lay through Stoke-on-Trent, which meant crossing the southbound fast line, onto the Stoke-on-Trent line. It had just passed a yellow flashing light, which warned the driver to re-duce speed for the junction that lay ahead. Driver Brian Shaw had then slowed down to the required 25 miles per hour, but as his train neared the Colwich signal box, he saw between him and the junction a red stoplight. Weeks later, recalling the events of the evening, he said "I was surprised to see a red signal. I expected it to go off because the road was set for the Stoke line. When it stayed on, I applied the emergency brake". As he did so, he saw in the distance the Liverpool - London express approaching at full speed. He stared at it in horror as his train ran on. "I have no idea why my train didn't stop. It just seemed to go on and on" he said. At the last mi-nute he leapt to safety, just as his engine reached the crossing, and stopped in the path of the on - coming express. Senior Technician Richard Morgan described what happened next. "There was a bang and a locomotive came flying over the top followed by the first coach". The 82-ton express locomotive had struck the Manchester engine, and somersaulted before crashing to the ground. The first eight coaches of the Liverpool - London express and the first three of the Man-chester train were derailed and badly smashed. There were several flashes as the overhead wires came down, and then the whole dreadful scene dis-appeared in a cloud of dust and debris. (cont.)

Incident at Colwich Junction

25

Many passengers suffered injuries, but Eric Goode was the only fatality in the crash. He remained steadfastly at the controls of his train, while braking into the crash, and slowing down the express. Thanks largely to his courage and professionalism, no one else was killed. The villagers of Little Haywood and Colwich, through which the railway ran, were on hand before the dust had settled. Arriving with ladders, blankets, tea, fire-extinguishers, lights and tools of all kinds, they were at work almost at once, helping dazed and injured passengers out of the wreckage and taking them to the safety of houses and pubs. Very soon they were joined by fire-men, and ambulances began ferrying the injured to Stafford District General Hospital. Staffordshire Police cordoned off the area and set to work removing lug-gage and mail from the wrecked carriages, and placing it under guard. The driver of the Manchester train was breathalysed, but the test was negative. The police also helped British Rail staff to list the survivors and deal with en-quiries from anxious relatives and friends. They accounted for 75 in hospital, 400 who were taken to Stafford to continue their journeys, and 200 in the care of local residents. BR management had been alerted at once by the Colwich signalman, and emergency repair gangs were quickly on the way. Their first problem on arri-val was to gain access to the crash area for their heavy equipment. A bull-dozer was employed to widen a narrow lane and clear walls and hedges, allowing cranes and other gear to move into position. Wreckage had to be carefully checked for survivors before being moved. The decision to move the buffet car was not easy, as the steward was missing ( he had wandered off suffering from shock) and a girl's foot was found on the line beside it. Firemen used heat-sensing apparatus before finally deciding that the car was clear. By 4 a. m., two three-hundred ton cranes had arrived, and the work of clearing the line began in earnest, continuing without a break until nor-mal service was resumed on the 24th Septem-ber. It is nearly 35 years since the accident, the Public Enquiry has been held, and memories are fading. However, Eric Goode has been hon-oured posthumously by having a street in CREWE named after him. In March 2010, the Mayor of Cheshire East, Margaret Simon, offi-cially opened Goode Way, in a new housing de-velopment off Gresty Road, in recognition of his bravery. She said: " Now generations of families will be handed down the story of how one brave man saved the lives of so many innocent peo-ple. David Hutton

26

More Jokes from George Jones

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!

Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh, my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when

you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you MAD? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to

salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you

what it feels like when I'm driving.'

DEFINITIONS.

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the

middle.

Beauty Parlour: A place where women curl up and dye.

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hrs.

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.

Raisin: A grape with a sunburn.

Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labour-saving devices of today.

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Wrinkles: Something other people have, similar to my character lines!

27

August Quiz answers

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Sur-prise'. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as

the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back

down. 'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather

perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and de-mands an explanation. 'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?' The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.' 'Ah! So Sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring

you Peekin Duck. George Jones

1. Cork

2. Yamaha. It’s logo is 3 crossed

tuning forks.

3. Win the Grand National

4. Jupiter. Approximately once every

10 Hrs.

5. Denmark

6. Moet et Chandon.

7. Peter Pan.

8. River Jordan. It flows into the

dead sea at 422m below sea level.

9. Anchovy.

10. Warsaw.

11. Barometer.

12. Agave

13. Liverpool.

14. Mount Everest.

15. Agent Orange

16. A study in scarlet.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

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Committee Roles & Contact Details

Judith Ross chair@candnu3a.org.uk

Bryan Roe vicechair@candnu3a.org.uk

Christine Maughan secretary@candnu3a.org.uk

Peter Brooke treasurer@candnu3a.org.uk

Lynne Jones membership@candnu3a.org.uk

Christine Maughan bookings@candnu3a.org.uk

Neil Crossley webmaster@candnu3a.org.uk

Patricia Giannoni minutes@candnu3a.org.uk

Anne-Marie Lloyd liaison@candnu3a.org.uk

Susan Steele development@candnu3a.org.uk

Gill Weston meetings@candnu3a.org.uk

Adrian Finney newsletter@candnu3a.org.uk

Autumn Term : Start 6th September 2021. End 17th December.

Winter Term : Start 4th January 2022. End 1st April.

Stop Press - Unclaimed Raffle Winners (Strawberry Tea) Wine - California Moscato Pink 324 Grants Whisky Pink 64 Wine - Cadillac 2010 Pink 56 Wine - The Full Fifteen Yellow 212 Hand cream Yellow 354 Visit our Website— http://www.candnu3a.org.uk u3a National Website – www.u3a.org.uk

Next Newsletter Deadline:

Articles to newsletter@candnu3a.org.uk by 1st December

2021, please do not send pdf files as I cannot reformat them.