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Bright Space 2013 All-Star Volunteer Program Resource Guide

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All Star Volunteer Program

Dear All Star Program Volunteer, Thanks for your interest in the Bright Space All Star Volunteer Program. This exciting initiative is the result of requests from Bright Horizons employees just like you who wanted to know how they could continue to support their Bright Space after the Ribbon Cutting. So the ASVP Program was created! The All Star Volunteer Program relies on people like you to inspire, motivate, and help your fellow volunteers make an incredible impact on the children of your Bright Space. Thank you for volunteering to serve in this role. We hope that your participation as a Bright Space All Star volunteer will be enriching for you, and the many children and families whose lives you will touch! Thank you! Ileen Henderson, National Director of Bright Spaces


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Bright Horizons Foundation for Children Bright Space All Star Volunteer Program ASVP Resource Guide Index Letter from the BH Foundation page 1

Index ~page 2

Bright Horizons Foundation for Children ~ Overview page 3

Contacts page 4

Bright Space All Star Volunteer Program

~ Volunteer job description page 5-6

~ Volunteer application page 7

~ Volunteer agreement page 8

~ Training requirements page 9

~ Volunteer Feedback form page 10

~ Volunteer Activity Template page 11

~ BH Foundation Photo Release page 12

~ Written training component page 13

Part 1 – Bright Space Models page 14-15

Part 2 - Child Development and Play page 16-27

Part 3 – Guidance and Discipline page 27-29

Part 4 – Health and Safety page 29-31

Part 5 – Typical Volunteer Shift page 31-32

Part 6 – Scenarios You May Encounter page 33-35


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Bright Horizons Foundation for Children The Bright Horizons Foundation for Children was founded in 1999 to fulfill the

mission “to make a difference in the lives of children and families where we live and work”. Through the Foundation, Bright Horizons supports a range of programs that serve children and families through volunteers, grants, and resources.

Bright Spaces (the signature program of the Bright Horizons Foundation for Children) Bright Spaces are warm, enriching play rooms in homeless shelters and

community agencies that offer children and families in crisis a special place to play, learn and have fun. They are created through innovative partnerships with Bright Horizons clients, local shelters, and community organizations.

Bright Space All Star Volunteer Program ASVP Volunteers engage children and families in creative enrichment activities

within Bright Spaces. Through a monthly volunteer program, we extend the reach of our knowledge and commitment far beyond the walls of our centers, schools, and programs to at-risk children and families living in shelters. Volunteers bring materials and/or activities to support a sense of delight and wonder in children.

Movie nights - pajamas, popcorn, and movies at shelters/agencies Craft ‘parties’, birthday parties


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Bright Horizons Foundation for Children Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program Contacts for assistance or concern: [email protected] Or the Project Manager for your Bright Space: Julie [email protected] Jane [email protected] Your Bright Horizons ASVP Coordinator Name: __________________________________ Email: ________________________ Phone (day): ______________________ Phone (evening): ___________________ Your Bright Horizons ASVP Coordinator Name: __________________________________ Email: ________________________ Phone (day): ______________________ Phone (evening): ___________________ Your Bright Space Shelter/Agency Partner Name: __________________________________ Email: ________________________ Phone: ___________________________


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Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program ASVP Volunteer Job Description

“Adults who interact with homeless children help create consistent, trust-enhancing predictable environments.” ~ Preserving Childhood for Children in Shelters, by Harms, Ray & Rolandelli

A Bright Space ASVP Volunteer is a special person who wish es to extend his/her love and support of children and fa milies beyond the walls of the workplace. This commitment will undoubtedly provide the volunteer and the children within the shelter or agency many moments of pure delight! Bright Space ASVP Volunteers meet the following criteria:

Qualifications: o Strong interest in children o Patience, dependability, sensitivity to homeless issues o Preschool or elementary teaching experience o Must be at least 18 years old o Must meet state requirements for background checks, health clearance,

and references o Must complete the All-Star Volunteer Program training program prior to

first volunteer experience o Confidentiality and respect for the privacy of individuals living and

working in shelters is of the utmost importance and crucial to the integrity of the Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program. Whenever discussing your experience, respect children’s and families’ confidentiality. Never discuss family members in detail by using last names or other distinguishing characteristics unless you are meeting with shelter/agency personnel. Often families do not want others to know where they are living. This may be a matter of safety (domestic violence). Photographs should never be taken without written permission from the shelter/agency.

Primary Responsibilities:

o Prepare and lead fun activities, games, and/or projects with children in the Bright Space

o Promote positive interactions between children. Encourage parent participation.

Specific duties may vary across locations, but as a volunteer you may be asked to:

o Foster delight and a sense of wonder through interactions and play with children

o Model problem solving, sharing and negotiation skills o Supervise play activities for 1 to 5 children including:

Reading, dramatic play, or games Crafts, drawing and open-ended art activities


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Assisting children with writing their own stories o Coordinate clean up of the Bright Space at the end of each shift. o Communicate with appropriate shelter and Bright Horizons staff,

including: Notifying shelter contact of any concerns with children or program

needs Notifying ASVP Coordinator(s) of any challenges while

participating (Feedback forms will be provided.) Replacing materials used (as needed) or notifying shelter staff

and/or BH Foundation when materials are not available so attempts can be made to replenish. (In most cases, volunteers will arrive at the shelter with the materials necessary for implementing their activities. Resources will be purchased with Foundation funds.)

Guidelines for participation:

While engaged as a volunteer in a Bright Space, individuals shall be considered volunteers with the homeless shelter/agency and not as employees of Bright Horizons.

Any activities or events that occur during volunteer participation, including but not limited to transportation to and from the shelter/agency, are outside the duties and responsibilities as an employee of Bright Horizons.

Volunteers must agree to release, hold harmless, and indemnify Bright Horizons Family Solutions, Inc., and their subsidiaries, affiliates and employees for any claims, injury, or damage of any kind and nature arising from voluntary participation in a Bright Space. (A written agreement form is provided.)

Prior to the first visit, each volunteer must complete the Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program training program, provide documentation of appropriate background checks and clearances (as required by state of residence), and complete shelter specific/agency orientation.

At the first visit, volunteers are expected to arrive early to meet the shelter/agency contact and to familiarize themselves with emergency procedures. (A tour of the shelter/agency will be provided at the discretion of the shelter/agency contact.)

Volunteers are expected to make every effort to be present at the scheduled time. Consistency and dependability are of great importance to homeless children. If you are unable to attend, contact the shelter/agency and the Bright Horizons ASVP Coordinator as soon as possible so another volunteer can be scheduled in your absence.


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Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program Volunteer Application Name: ________________________________ Phone: _____________________ Email: ________________________________________________________________ Address: _______________________________________________________________ Sex: M F Birthday (month/day) _____/_____ Bright Horizons Center/school: ______________________ Emergency contact: _______________________________ Phone: ____________________ My interests and areas of expertise with children include: _______________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ I am available to volunteer: ___ Morning ___ Afternoon ___ Evening ___ Monday ___Tuesday ___Wednesday ___Thursday ___Friday ___Saturday ___ Sunday Please read and check each box prior to signing.

I understand that my participation as a Bright Space All-Star volunteer is not dependent upon or associated with my job performance or requirements as a Bright Horizons employee. Any activities that occur during volunteer participation, including but not limited to transportation to and from the shelter, are beyond the duties and responsibilities of a Bright Horizons employee.

I agree to release, hold harmless, and indemnify Bright Horizons Family Solutions, Inc., and their subsidiaries, affiliates, and employees from any claims, injury, or damage of any kind or nature arising from voluntary participation in a Bright Space.

I agree to complete the Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program training program prior to my first experience in the Bright Space.

I agree to provide any background checks or clearances required by the Bright Space shelter or agency partner and to attend shelter specific orientations.

I have been provided a copy and meet all qualifications on the Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program job description, understand the responsibilities, and agree to participate to the best of my ability.

I agree to contact the shelter and Bright Horizons ASVP Coordinator if I cannot attend on my assigned day/time.

I understand that confidentiality and respect for the privacy of individuals living and working in shelters is of the utmost importance and crucial to the integrity of the Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program. I will not discuss family members in detail by using last names or other distinguishing characteristics. I agree not to take photographs without written permission from the shelter/agency.

Signature: _______________________________________ Date: _________________ (A copy of this application will be provided to the shelter or agency partner.)


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Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program

ASVP Volunteer Agreement

• While engaged as an ASVP Volunteer in a Bright Space, each participant shall be considered a volunteer with the shelter/agency and not as an employee of Bright Horizons.

• Any activities or events that occur during volunteer participation, including but not limited to any transportation to and from the shelter, are outside the volunteer’s duties and responsibilities as an employee of Bright Horizons.

• By signing below, the ASVP Volunteer and the homeless shelter/agency, on behalf of their residents and employees, hereby agree to release, hold harmless, and indemnify Bright Horizons Family Solutions, Inc., and their subsidiaries, affiliates and employees for any claims, injury, or damage of any kind and nature arising from volunteer participation in a Bright Space.

• Confidentiality and respect for the privacy of individuals living and working in shelters is of the utmost importance and crucial to the integrity of the Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program. Whenever discussing your experience, respect children’s and families’ confidentiality. Photographs should only be taken with written permission from the shelter/agency. Photo release must be attached.

I agree I am volunteering as an individual and not as a representative of Bright Horizons Family Solutions or the Bright Horizons Foundation for Children.

Volunteer Signature Date

We agree to release, hold harmless, and indemnify Bright Horizons Family Solutions, Inc., and their subsidiaries, affiliates and employees for any claims, injury, or damage of any kind and nature arising from volunteer participation in a Bright Space.

Shelter/Agency Staff Signature: Date


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Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program Training Requirement All ASVP Coordinators and Volunteers must complete specific training components prior to the first volunteer experience in a Bright Space. 1. ASVP Technology Training (facilitated by ASVP Coordinator)

Power point, CD, or webinar 2. ASVP Written Training Component

See ASVP Volunteer Resource Guide (page 11-32) for full text. 3. Additional requirements deemed appropriate and necessary by the cooperating

shelter or agency and the ASVP Coordinator.


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Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program Volunteer Feedback Form for ASVP ‘Volunteer’ Days (Please return this form to your ASVP Coordinator within three days of your volunteer assignment, if requested. Coordinators may collect ‘live’ feedback and response.) Name: __________________________ Date: ___________ Time of __________ Service: Name of shelter/agency: _____________________________________________ Number of participants in the Bright Space: ______ children _____ adults Briefly describe the fun activities or materials that were implemented with children. Describe any challenges that were difficult to manage. Describe the most positive experience you had during this volunteer shift. Additional comments or suggestions for improving the program: Circle the number that best describes your overall experience: 1 2 3 4 5 Excellent Very Good Good Very Challenging Poor Circle when you would be interested in participating as an All-Star Volunteer again: 1 2 3 4 5 One month Three months Six months One year Never Thank you!


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All-Star Volunteer Program Activity Template (All activities must be approved verbally or in writing by your ASVP Coordinator.) Activity name and/or brief description: ________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Recommended age group (please circle all that apply): infant young toddler older toddler preschool school-age pre-teen teen Suggested number of children: __________ Materials: ______________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Procedure: _____________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Extensions/Variations/Substitutions (if any):

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Can this activity by modified to include older/younger children? How? ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Is it possible to include parents in this activity? How? ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Submitted by: _____________________________Source: _______________________


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BRIGHT HORIZONS FOUNDATION

PARENT/GUARDIAN PHOTOGRAPHIC NOTICE AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Please be advised that the Bright Horizons Foundation takes photograp hs of children in Bright Spaces, College Coach workshops, or other Foundation activities as part of our work to docum ent the Foundation’s program s. These photographs m ay include any children playing in the Bright Space, workshop, or other Foundation activity. The Bright Horizons Foundation retains all rights, title and interest in any photographs or videos taken of children in the Founda tion activity by Bright Horizons staff, volunteers, or other sources. Bright Horizons may display, post or transmit the photograph of your child(ren) in the following manner only:

(1) displayed in a video, brochure or poster about the Bright Horizons Foundation programs, (2) posted on an authorized Bright Horizons Foundation Web site, and/or (3) sent to you, the Bright Space host agency (shelter or other organization) and/or to the other parents of the child(ren) in the photograph via e-mail.

I acknowledge the above notice regarding the taking of photographs of my child and the display, posting, or sending of those photographs. ___________________________________ Child’s Name ___________________________________ Parent/Guardian Name ___________________________________ Parent/Guardian Signature ___________________________________ Date


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Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program Written Training Component Introduction You - as an ASVP Volunteer Volunteering in a Br ight Space will b e both a challenging and rewa rding experience! The benefits of volunteering will extend to you and the children you are helping. A growing body of research suggests that ther e are social, m ental and physical health benefits to a volunteer for providing service. Evidence suggests that volunteering has a positiv e effect on social psycho logical factors, such as one’s sense of purpos e. Those who volunteer have been known to have lower mortality rates, greater functi onal ability, and lower rates of depression later in life. A strong correlation also exists between the we ll-being, happiness, health, and longevity of people who are em otionally kind and com passionate in their cha ritable helping activities—as long as they are not feeling over-whelmed. As an ASVP volunteer, your consistent presence and behavior, calm demeanor and caring interactions will make a very important contribution to the lives of children in the shelter or agency. Children are resilient an d your time in the Bright Space will be an enormous contribution to the well-being of these children. Your commit ment to enhancing their healthy development will be d eeply appreciated by the ch ildren, their parents, and the shelter/agency staff. We encourage you to enjoy this special service!


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Part 1 The Bright Space models Each Bright Space has been created in a way that best matches the homeless shelter or agency environment and meets the needs of its families. Each shelter is unique, serving a particular clientele with specific needs. Some are se rving families for a night o r two, while others provide housing and other supportive services for up to two years. There are many factors that determine which type of Br ight Space is best for each partnership with the BH Foundation for Children. As suc h, you m ay encounter any of the different models in your work as a volunteer. These are descriptions of the most common models.

Classroom/Homebase – The Classroom Bright Space is designed

as a warm, inviting classroom or homebase for the age groups designated by the shelter. This type of Bright Space is designed for a shelter that has trained children’s program staff or a strong volunteer program. It assumes a staffed program of activities with shelter/agency staff or volunteer supervision. The hours available to children will be based on the availability of staffing. Optimum use (minimum 20 or more hours a week) requires a well-developed and sustainable system of staffing. The environmental design typically includes age-appropriate learning centers, tables and chairs, soft spaces, and ample storage.

Family Room – This model is designed to allow shelter families to have a relaxing place to play together during the times they are ‘home’ – when the parents have returned to the shelter after work or classes and are spending ‘family time’ with their children. It is designed for weekend and evening activity. Those times can be stressful for families who have no place to play, to work off energy, or to cuddle together. The Family Room Bright Space is typically a warm engaging, multi-purpose recreational space for adults and children to spend time together - a place for family interactions, play, conversation, reading, games, activities, or just hanging out. The space requires the adult presence of parents, staff, or volunteers. The furnishings and equipment reflect the need for both adult and child scale with limited supervision over materials. The structures are typically transformable age-appropriate learning centers that may be rotated, soft areas with adult seating, table games for older children, and storage. Toys need to be sturdy and easily accessible to parents of all educational backgrounds.

Independent Children’s Space – The Independent Children’s Bright Space is designed as an engaging place for children to play with less close supervision. The space may or may not be designed for families and may be designed for a wide or limited age range. Nearby, periodic adult supervision is assumed. This type of Bright Space might resemble well-designed spaces for children in public places that assume less regular adult supervision with equipment and furnishings designed for heavy, low-supervision use – as in children’s museums, commercial play centers, airports, or waiting areas. Typically the area includes sturdy fixed equipment (mirrors, wire bead mazes,


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etc), large equipment such as learning tables, foam play risers or pits, dress-up materials, equipment and toys with few if any small parts, and ample storage.

Teen Space – The Teen Space is designed as a place to ‘hang out’ in a room

that is safe and engaging, offering teens the feeling of having their own space while still ensuring adequate supervision. Teens of the shelter are typically involved in the planning of this space so that it truly becomes their space.

Some physical features are common among Bright Space models. These include:

Activities and furnishings that are developmentally appropriate. As a volunteer, you can encourage hands-on-learning and sensory experiences as well as focus on language and appropriate social interactions with the tools available to you in most Bright Spaces.

Shelves labeled with pictures and words which help increase developmental benefits from play. Children enjoy making choices and successfully cleaning up independently.

Organized activity centers set up in convenient spaces with specific materials and clear organization so children can work as independently as possible.

Toys grouped together that ‘go’ together. This allows for more satisfying and extendable play and is easier for children to clean up.

Private play spaces that allow children time to play and explore safely by themselves.

A balanced amount of toys. Too many can be confusing and overwhelming. Too few often lead to non-constructive play and conflict.

Duplicate toys. This allows young children to play with their favorites, decreases the stress associated with struggling to keep a toy, and/or exacerbation of the fear that something will be unavailable to them.

As an ASVP Volunteer in any of the Bright Space models, you should

Facilitate fun! We value play as the highest of all values for children. Remove broken or incomplete toys and inform the shelter staff of their status.

Incomplete toys lead to frustrating play experiences and items in disrepair send a negative message about children’s worth.

Whenever possible, give each child a space to store belongings as they come into the bright space. This can help to establish order, worth and belonging.

Clean up at the end of your shift. Leave the Bright Space in a condition that you would like to find it at the beginning of your shift.


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Part 2 Child Development and play with children who are homeless Given the devastating effects that homelessness can have on children, play can provide a means through which children can sort through distressing experiences, learn new skills, face challenges, or enjo y the com fort of re petition, depending on the ir needs. Play, regardless of its conten t, allows children to bec ome absorbed in the ir own activities or fantasies for a while and leav e their worries behind. Creati ng an environm ent that is permissive and supportive of play may be harder than it sounds! Following are som e general guidelines a bout child developm ent, play, and your responsibilities as a volunteer. Included are de scriptions of the developm ental needs of children who are homeless, explanations of and recommendations for addressing some of the behaviors you m ay encounter in the she lter, and a brief outline of typical child development and suggestions for fostering it.

Important functions of a Bright Space All-Star Volunteer in the Bright Space include:

Creating an environment where children can have fun Making children feel that they are in a safe environment Providing consistency in both words and actions Offering individual children individualized attention Respecting children from all backgrounds Welcoming and respecting parents in the space

Homelessness is disrup tive and tr aumatic for all f amilies. Childre n often do not understand what is happening, but are nonetheless affected by these dramatic changes. In many ways, children in Bright Spaces will resemble other children you encounter in your daily work. They may love to play and have fun, be energetic, and look forward to your visits. However, they may also bring special needs and behaviors to the Bright Space as a result of the trauma and loss they have experienced. The following needs are common to all young children, but are particularly significant for children who are homeless: Stability, consistency and structure

o Many homeless families have not moved into the shelter system immediately upon the loss of permanent housing. Ninety-seven percent of families will have moved during the previous year, many up to three different times before entering a shelter/agency.

o Children have often lost friends, possessions, a familiar school, and many other aspects related to ‘home’.

o In some situations children may have experienced domestic violence, resulting in a loss of contact with certain close family members.

o Frequent moves may have exposed children to many different rules and expectations depending upon the environment. This can be very stressful.


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Ways to provide stability, consistency and structure as a volunteer o Begin each shift by introducing yourself and welcoming children. Review

shelter or agency’s posted rules (if age-appropriate) so children know what to expect.

o Start and end the time in the Bright Space with the same activity (gathering as a group; singing a hello/good-bye song; greeting/departing by calling each child’s name, etc.).

o Assist children with returning toys to their designated space so that children know where the toy can be expected to be found the next time.

o Promote identifying labels (words and pictures) so that children can replace toys themselves.

o Provide children with plenty of notice before transitioning (“In three minutes we are going to clean up.”) between activities.

o Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be clear with directives and follow through. Consistency in your actions will reassure children and build trust.

Security

o Children who are homeless often can’t distinguish between who is ‘safe’ and who is not. They must be told specifically by an adult they know and trust that the person engaging with them is safe.

Ways to ensure children feel an appropriate sense of security when volunteers are with them:

o Introduce yourself to the children at the beginning of your shift. Tell children that you are there to play with them for a little while.

o Be honest about the time frame. If you are not going to be back for another month or more, then say that.

o Gently inform children that it is your responsibility to keep them safe while having fun. Rules are for their safety.

Individualized attention

o Children who are homeless may not always get the individualized attention they need. Basic family needs may take precedence.

o Most homeless families are headed by single mothers with two or more children. The mothers are often consumed with providing basic needs for their families and may not feel they have the energy at the end of the day to play with their children.

o Small group or individualized attention from nurturing volunteers is a critical contribution to their quality of life. Your supportive presence will communicate to children that they are important and respected.

o Children who are homeless may need more reassurance than is typical. They may benefit more from a one-on-one activity than one that involves the whole group. Be prepared to adjust as needed.


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Ensuring that children are given individualized attention

o Plan to have a one-on-one conversation with each child while you are in the space. Even if the child is not talkative, getting on his level, smiling, saying ‘hello’ and using his name can enhance his development.

o Songs, movement games/dances, and free choice activities may work best with the whole group. Limit activity/craft groups to 3-4 children at a time. (This may mean that these activities must be shortened, but it is easier to manage a small group through a short activity than a large group throughout a long activity.)

Appropriate and positive stimulation

o Family shelters/agencies are full of stimulation with many families sharing common space, but there may not be much stimulation available that is child-friendly or child-centered. Bright Spaces allows volunteers to provide appropriate and positive stimulation in a safe, child-centered environment. Additionally, a calm and reliable adult presence (you!) in the midst of an often chaotic shelter can have many positive benefits.

Ensuring that the stimulation in the Bright Space is appropriate and positive o Keep the noise level in the Bright Space lively, but pleasant. Model and

remind children to use their voices at a volume appropriate for indoor conversation.

o Sometimes children may appear overwhelmed by all of the choices available. (It is much like any child’s first day in a new, stimulating environment.) Children who are homeless typically have few options for play in their rooms. You may need to guide children by helping them choose, sitting with them while they play, and assisting them with clean-up. Children who dash from one toy or activity to another need patience and guidance. Once they are certain that the toys will always be there, they will feel more confident about choosing one toy or activity at a time.

o Encourage children to clean up after themselves by assisting and modeling appropriate behaviors. Reinforce compliance. (“You did it!”) This will build self-esteem and help keep the Bright Space manageably neat.

Common Behaviors of Children who are Homeless

Through their work in hom eless shelters in Massachusetts, Horizons for Homeless Children has com piled a list of behaviors they have observed while working with children in play spaces. Following are descrip tions of som e of the behaviors with recommendations for addressing them appropriately through your work as a volunteer. Withdrawal

o Not wanting to engage or participate in play or activities Recommendations o Don’t demand participation. Allow the child time and space to get used to

you.


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o Use toys, activities, and conversation to engage a shy or withdrawn child. o Provide ample safe and appropriate opportunities for engagement once the

child decides s/he is ready.

Clinging and loss of trust o This may stem from a sense of fear that the child may have caused their

family’s homelessness or that the stressful events may happen again and again.

Recommendations o Remind children that your role is to keep them safe. Play with them while

talking about the present activity. Do not make promises you cannot keep. o Encourage children to play independently but remind them that you are

nearby until they feel more confident.

Hoarding toys (or food) o It is very important for you to understand the difference between hoarding

and stealing. When children are in crisis situations, things and people are often taken from their lives. Children may hoard in the hopes that they will be able to control what happens in the future. (This is a very powerful instinct even for those not in crisis situations.)

Recommendations o Encourage appropriate ways to give children control. Offer them the

choice between two toys or two activities. Reinforce their choice and appropriate behavior.

o If you bring a creative activity, make sure there is enough of everything for each child to have/complete at least one.

o Reassure children that the toys will be there for them when they come back to play in the Bright Space the next time.

Lack of boundaries

o You may encounter behavior that seems overly affectionate. While you may enjoy being affectionate with children, remember that when children engage with adults they do not know in an affectionate manner, it is both unsafe and inappropriate. This behavior most often stems from a need for attention and love. Homeless children do not always receive this affection from their parent(s).

Recommendations o Talk about inappropriate touch and boundaries without making it seem

like you are rejecting the child (e.g. “It is so nice that you want to hug me right now, but we don’t know each other. You should shake hands when you are meeting someone for the first time.”)

o Tell the child that he should not hug people that he does not know. o When children are overly affectionate with others who appear

uncomfortable, you may introduce the “solo circle” – a construction paper circle that a child can take with her to indicate that she wants to play by herself. This serves as an introduction to respecting boundaries.


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Aggression o Twenty-four percent of children who are homeless have witnessed acts of

violence within their own family. Fifteen percent have seen their father hit their mother and eleven percent have seen their mother abused by a male partner. These men are frequently their only male role model. For boys especially, acts of aggression and violence may be the way they have learned to deal with conflict. Often aggressive children are simply mimicking what they have seen their parents/role models doing.

Recommendations o Volunteers can model calm and peaceful ways of dealing with conflict,

and provide a safe place where hitting and pushing are not allowed. Soft voices, gentle assurance, or calm redirection are useful.

o Safely and calmly remove the child from the situation (a ‘take a break space’) and encourage him to participate in a calm activity like looking at books or drawing until he is ready to return to the group.

o Avoid labeling the child. Talk about safe and appropriate ways to interact with each other within the Bright Space.

o Redirect, distract, or divert. Share these strategies with parents. Inform shelter staff (and your ASVP Coordinator) when a child has been particularly aggressive or unmanageable.

Overly independent or mature children

o Children often present as overly mature when they are responsible for their younger siblings. In these situations, younger children may act like adults and try to take charge of other children (not their siblings). Overly mature children may seem bossy and may not engage in play. These children can be perceived as nice, mature and responsible. But, this is dangerous when it masks other problems that may underlie the behavior.

o Teens, in particular, are often privy to more information than they should. This may be the result of language barriers and children who are more fluent in English than their parents.

Recommendations o Give overly independent or mature children a chance to be playful.

Encourage them to engage with the toys and art materials that are available. Model behaviors that reflect joy through engagement.

o Remember that teens are still dependent children. Refrain from using them as translators for their parents or assuming they can handle adult conversation.


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Understanding Teens who are Homeless Teens are considered homeless if they are

living in a shelter or living temporarily

o with friends o in abandoned buildings o in vehicles o generally ‘on the street’

Homeless teens have no address and often no parental signatures to give them access to services. There are ‘throwaway’, as well as ‘runaway’, teens amongst the homeless. Homeless teens who use shelters and those who don't share similar levels of psychological distress. The stressors of homelessness can reveal themselves in various ways including

anger, aggression, and violence school suspension or expulsion depression and suicide attempts eating disorders self-harming and mutilation sexual promiscuity substance abuse criminal activity.

Whatever the impetus, it can reasonably be assumed that the teen has felt unsafe, misunderstood, rejected, unloved, lost, confused and often hopeless. There are a myriad of reasons* children are in this condition:

violence and abuse within their home mental illness in the family gender identification issues child is deemed unacceptable by their parents failure to thrive in school paralyzing pressures of poverty unfortunate foster care experiences drug and alcohol addictions *any of which may be happening amidst the natural time we call adolescence

Community attitudes about homeless children may include a lack of awareness about the problems and causes, the mistaken belief that all of them are rebellious teenagers, or the sense that homelessness is the child’s fault. In every case, however, if the child is homeless, s/he has become disconnected from the family.


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For the child, the family model is broken. The child has lost the structure that provides guidance. There is no safe environment in which to test behaviors and gain maturity. There is no social construct to model community and inclusion. Many feel undervalued and unappreciated. They have few inner resources to

battle a barrage of reminders that they are unloved and worthless. They know little about and often lack trust in the ‘system’, fearing that authorities

will send them back to unpleasant living situations. Forty to fifty percent of homeless children are in these dire states due to a failed placement with a foster family or group home. Research suggests that within two to four years of exiting foster care, twenty-five percent of all foster children experience homelessness. Providing Support to teens Homeless teens often define themselves as citizens rather than as children - a very notable distinction. Many of these young people have been decision-makers since they were ten years old. They want to feel respect as much as they want to be cared about.

Bright Spaces offer unique places where young people who are homeless can build self-esteem and relationships with other residents. Each distinctive space is designed to facilitate:

emotional and physical safety a sense of significance, belonging and connection daily opportunities to explore feelings while engaging in fun activities

Your role, as an ASVP Volunteer with teens can be significant. Not only can you facilitate peer relationships, you can provide opportunities to build self-esteem through activities, games, or creative projects. You can exhibit:

interest honesty trustworthiness compassion kindness individualized attention

Each of these can make a difference. Be light-hearted, but not frivolous. Accept comments and answer questions as simply and honestly as possible. Leave psychoanalysis and diagnosis to the professionals. Serious concerns about the physical or mental state of any resident should be brought to the attention of shelter personnel.


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Whether your experience with teens includes playing cards or video games, exploring through artistic endeavors, or simply talking, your presence can make a considerable difference.

Smiles can be very powerful and laughter can echo for days on end. Not new…but always important information! Fostering Typical Child Development Play is children’s work. Thr ough play, children develop the t ools they need to grow and learn about them selves, others, and the world. Open-ended and process-oriented activities enable children to express their creativity and feel good about themselves while practicing new skills. Developm ent is a j ourney and m ilestones are highly var iable between children. W hat appears developmental for one child m ay not be for another child of the same age. Developmental differences are to be expected amongst all children and they may be more pronounced amongst children who are homeless.

Social/Emotional Development

Be specific with praise. A child who hears only generic praise can grow to distrust it. Rather than say “good job” let the child know what it is specifically that he or she has done well. Respond to the child as an individual (i.e., comment about how you like the way they cleaned up or how they are sharing, etc.).

Focus on non-competitive activities that foster cooperative play. Provide a sense of self-confidence by planning activities that enable

children to express their unique creativity, such as dramatic play. Stimulate children’s development by nurturing their self-esteem.

o Be consistent. This sends an important message that the child matters.

o Set limits. Children have likely experienced a great deal of instability and a lack of predictability. They need limits to feel safe. They need to know that world is predictable, orderly and dependable. Set limits around behavior and establish routines.

o Give children choices. Allow children have some control by letting them choose what activity they would like to do. Give children specific choices between safe and appropriate activities (“Would you like to draw at the table, or come here and read with me?”).

o Use positive language. Tell them what they can do, instead of what they can’t do.

o Give children the opportunity to participate in creative expression of self. (Dramatic play is a great example of this type of activity.)

o Invite children to create artwork that can be hung in the Bright Space. It facilitates a sense of pride when a child sees something they have created displayed in a respectful way.


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Language/Cognitive Development

Literacy is the key to children’s cognitive development. Language provides the basis through which many other skills will be acquired. Many forms of activities and interactions have to do with communication. From a very young age, children are developing cognitive skills that contribute to their ability to communicate later in life.

Help children communicate effectively by encouraging their listening, speaking, reading and writing skills.

If children are too young to read, exposure to a language-rich environment can prepare them for later literacy. Talk, listen, share written language, and read aloud to children to provide the building blocks for literacy. Even children who can read by themselves enjoy hearing a story!

Cultivate children’s sense of logic and understanding of new concepts by playing memory and pattern games.

Specific recommendations for infants It is important to talk to infants while interacting with them and responding to

their cues of smiling, crying and cooing. As they get older, they will begin to practice the babbling sounds that lead to speech. They can understand and respond to simple words or expressions like “more” and “bye-bye”.

Specific recommendations for toddlers Toddlers are developing their language skills, and their attention spans are

generally long enough to listen to simple stories and carry on conversations. By age three, they typically have a vocabulary of 200 words.

When working with toddlers, volunteers should talk through activities and encourage language expansion by helping children name things and form sentences.

Specific recommendations for preschoolers Three- and four-year olds generally have begun to grasp cause and effect, and may begin telling stories and jokes. By the time children reach kindergarten age, their motor skills and familiarity with letters have often developed to the point that they can write their own names. Research shows that children who are read to from a young age are more likely to become readers and enjoy reading. Reading is one important way to contribute to language and literacy development for children of all ages. Encouraging a love of books is a critical element of literacy development. Make a game out of a story you read, do related arts and crafts, or act out characters in a story to make reading fun for children. Encourage children to converse with you, providing a consistent ‘give and take’ model.


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Specific recommendations for school-agers (6-10 yrs) School-age children are typically leaving behind egocentric thinking and

beginning to develop more mature ways of understanding. They can often consider information from several sources, evaluate it, and come up with a reasonable interpretation. With these new cognitive skills, their appreciation of humor and word games increases. They love to tell jokes!

Board games are a great way to enhance cognitive development. Games that use memory skills such as checkers, tic-tac-toe, and hangman are fun. Memory matching games can be played independently as well as in a small group. Remember that school-age children may still experience a ‘need to win’, so don’t focus on the outcome.

Specific recommendations for teens (11-15 yrs) These years tend to be a very self-centered period. Many adolescents are

preoccupied with their own desires and needs and appear insensitive to others. They may feel as though they are being judged constantly – although usually by an imaginary audience.

Adolescents/teens typically still think in concrete ways, but they are beginning to develop problem-solving skills as they gain the ability to use abstract thinking and symbolic concepts.

It is normal for children of this age period to have a sense of being uniquely invincible. This may limit their ability to assess situations, risks, and future consequences. As a result, they may test authority. Be patient. They are beginning to recognize the complexity of life and want to be in control of their own destiny.

Motor Development

Motor Development refers to a child’s physical development – their large (gross) and small (fine) muscles and the ability to use those muscles. When creating motor activities, the key word is practice. Children at different stages of development need to practice different kinds of physical activities. By observing children’s activities in the Bright Space, you can discover needs and plan activities accordingly. Building with small blocks, piecing together a puzzle and creating a string of macaroni encourage children’s fine motor skills. Activities such as climbing and jumping are great ways for children to utilize their gross motor skills.

Specific recommendations for infants

Infants up to six months may roll from stomach to back, sit with support, kick, grasp, mouth and use hands to manipulate objects.

Between seven and twelve months, infants may sit alone, pull up to stand, crawl, show early signs of walking, walk with assistance, and pick up objects with fingers and thumbs (pincer grasp).


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At twelve to eighteen months, infants may begin to walk alone, go up and down stairs and toddle. They may also stack objects, do simple puzzles, and grasp or use a crayon.

Appropriate activities include peek-a-boo and other hiding games, patty-cake, playing with grasping toys and tactile materials. Infants need room to crawl and safe places to pull up.

Specific recommendations for toddlers

This is a very active and exploratory stage of life. Do not expect toddlers to sit and be quiet for long. Toddlers may run, jump, climb and walk on their tip toes. They may also lift and carry objects, push toys and throw or kick a ball. They will be able to grasp things more effectively, pick up small objects, use wind-up toys, turn pages in a book and open a door. Older toddlers with more eye-hand coordination may catch a ball, stack blocks and hold a crayon to draw. Appropriate activities include simple puzzles, stacking toys, Duplo blocks, or crayons and paper. Playdough and large stringing beads also provide small motor opportunities. Music and movement activities (such as ‘London Bridge’ and ‘Ring around the Rosie’), songs (‘Itsy-Bitsy Spider’), or action songs with instruments (drums, or shakers) are also appropriate activities for toddlers.

Specific recommendations for preschoolers

Preschoolers tend to exhibit improved balance, coordination of arms, legs and the body as a whole. They may be able to jump, hop on one foot, pedal a bicycle and climb stairs effectively.

Pegboards, zippers, buttons and writing implements are appropriate tools to provide opportunities for preschoolers to practice their fine motor skills.

Appropriate activities include six to eight piece puzzles, painting, drawing, pasting, playdough, clay, number concept activities with simple counting, and color or shape sorting.

Music and movement activities such as the ‘Hokey Pokey’ and ‘If you’re happy and you know it’ are great motor opportunities.

Sensory Development Contribute to children’s sensory devel opment by engaging them in experiences that stimulate their sense of sight, hearing, touch, taste and feel. Colorful arts and crafts and tactile activities like play dough and water play are examples of simple activities that foster sensory skills. Age-appropriate crafts can engage any age. Recommendations for young children Try to incorporate experiences that involve as many senses as possible.

o Sight: Make sure the Bright Space has a variety of colorful and interesting things to look at. While playing with any toy or game, you can discuss the names of colors with children, and ask them to describe what they see.


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o Hearing: Listen, make music, and sing songs. Play music, sing together or play instruments. Listen to sounds that occur in the environment and ask questions about them – what they are, who/what is making them, etc. Play rhyming games, name games and listening games like ‘Simon Says’.

o Touch: Introduce a variety of objects of different textures. A mystery box with various objects of different textures can allow children to feel and talk about what they imagine is in the box.

o Taste: In some shelters you may have access to a kitchen and may be able to do simple cooking projects with the children. (Be sure to check with shelter staff to learn if there are any food allergies in the children.)

o Smell: A mystery box or a variety of containers can also provide a format for smelling objects.

Remember, as an ASVP Volunteer, your consistent presence and behavior, cal m demeanor and caring interactions make a very important contribution to the lives of children in the shelter. Children are resilient and your time in the Bright Space supports the well-being of these children. Part 3 Appropriate Guidance and Discipline An important part of a child’s developm ent is to learn how to beha ve appropriately with others. All children strive for understanding, independence and self-control. They learn by exploring, experimenting and testing the limits of their environment and experiencing the consequences of their behavior. Through these experiences, they come to understand how the world works and their own limits within it. Behavior guidance helps children develop self-esteem when it is p ositive and non-punitive. A ll children need structure to feel safe. They need to know what to expect from the adults with whom they interact. Self-discipline and the ability to make good choices are modeled skills, directed towards successful interactions with others. Children in crisis m ay not respon d to positiv e feedback and m ay seem indif ferent to consequences. They m ay reject your com pliments and seem intent on m aking enemies rather than friends. “To be effective, you m ust dare to start over – to search for a whole new set of t ools to reach through the façade of misbehavior to the child hiding within.” (What Do You Do With a Child Like This?) Be patient. Eventually you will find the key to each child, for one moment, and glimpse the unique, joyful potential within. General Guidelines:

It is natural for babies to poke, push, slap or even bite each other, especially if there is nothing more interesting to do. It is also natural for babies to experiment with food and materials – dropping, tearing apart and smashing things. It is natural for older children to test each other and adults. As an ASVP Volunteer, you understand that much of this behavior is developmentally appropriate. As


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you work in the Bright Space, your main goal is to keep children engaged in fun activities while resolving incidents calmly and patiently as they occur.

Each child wants and deserves to be respected as a special individual. It is neither appropriate nor valuable to characterize any child as bad, mean, nasty, or any other term that serves to label a child.

Discipline is a matter of planning, setting clear limits and expectations, redirection and logical consequences - NOT PUNISHMENT. The ASVP Volunteer’s job is to encourage play and support self-control, to protect children and to help them learn how to behave cooperatively.

If one child is hurting another child or being destructive, you should:

Move to the child(ren) immediately. Support the emotion first by recognizing the feelings of anger, confusion or hurt.

In a firm, but friendly voice, tell the child to stop (not from across the room if at all possible).

State and model the acceptable behavior - “Be gentle with John” while stroking John’s arm as well as the arm of the child inflicting the ‘hurt’.

Offer acceptable alternatives for handling that emotion -“You can stamp your feet when you get angry”.

Make clear that it is the child’s behavior and not the child that is unacceptable. Stay with the child(ren) until the situation has been alleviated.

Seek help from shelter personnel if you are unsuccessful or unsure of how to address the situation.

ASVP Volunteers may NOT:

Shame or humiliate any child. Shake, jerk, squeeze or otherwise physically indicate disapproval. Say “bad girl” or “bad boy” or otherwise use language to imply that the child is

the problem, instead of the behavior. Moralize or show personal anger. Use “no” too often. (Try using the positive phrasing “Hold on to the cup” rather

than “Don’t throw the cup.”) to tell the child what they should be doing. Use bribes, false threats or false choices. Give food as a reinforcement or withhold food as a punishment (if snacks are

provided). Require silence often or for a long period of time.

Using Logical Consequences If a child behaves in an inappropriate m anner, the most effective ‘discipline’ is for the child to experience the specific logical consequence of his or her behavior. Use your own good judgment.

For example, if John (8-year old) con tinually splashes other children while playing at the water table, he should be assisted with cleaning up the spilled water, and be directed to other play.


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If 22-month old Maya uses markers to draw on the wall, she should be of fered large pieces of paper for drawing, or engaged in play elsewhere.

Using logical consequences is m uch more effective than g eneralized punishment, like sitting in a chair for a period of tim e. Volunteers should make sure that expectations of behavior are appropriate for a child’s age and skill level an d that the c ontext reinforces the desired behavior. The goal of these actions is to help the child feel safe. Part 4 Health and safety The following guidelines provide recommendations for ensuring a healthy and safe environment for you and the children in a Bright Space Health

Environment o Set aside toys that have been mouthed so that they can be cleaned at the

end of your shift o Wash toys in a safe solution o Clean and sanitize surfaces (using a 10% bleach solution if possible) in

the Bright Space at the end of each shift Hygiene

o Studies have shown that unwashed or improperly washed hands are the primary carriers of infections. Follow appropriate hand washing procedures and teach them to children. Always wash your hands:

After toileting After handling or cleaning bodily fluids and after wiping

noses or mouths The most important concepts to remember about hand washing are:

You must use running water that drains You must use soap You must rub your hands together for at least 10 seconds

with soap and rinse thoroughly You must turn off the faucet with a paper towel (because

you use your dirty hands to turn on the faucet, the faucet is considered dirty at all times).

Illness

o If you feel you need to exclude a child from Bright Space participation based on illness, notify a shelter staff member for assistance.


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Standard Precautions o Take every effort to eliminate direct contact with any bodily fluid o Wear gloves when contact with mucus membranes or open sores occurs. o Clean up spills of bodily fluids immediately. Wear gloves. o Call for assistance from the shelter staff when you do not have the tools to

protect yourself and the other children from possible exposure to a contagious illness.

Food

o If the Bright Space is located near a kitchen in the shelter, discuss with the shelter/agency staff whether use of the kitchen is appropriate.

o If children are hungry or thirsty, offer them a snack only if approved by shelter staff and parents.

Medication

o Do not agree to administer medication to any children in the Bright Space. o Avoid bringing medication for yourself into the Bright Space. If you must

bring medication with you, ensure that it is stored either in a locked cabinet or out of children’s reach.

Diapering

o Do not change children’s diapers. If a child has a soiled diaper, contact the parent or the shelter staff for assistance

Safety

Environment o At the beginning of your shift, quickly evaluate the space for any safety

concerns. Check for: Toys in poor repair (e.g., loose pieces, chipping paint, etc.) Toys stored inappropriately (blocking pathways or creating a

hazard) Items that should not be in the Bright Space (e.g., tools from

maintenance repair work left out, etc.) Supervision

o Children in the Bright Space must be supervised by an adult at all times. You will be working with another ASVP Volunteer in the space at all times.

o Ensure that the number of children in the space does not exceed what is appropriate both in terms of physical space available and staffing. Some Bright Spaces are only large enough for a few children to play in at one time. There should be one adult for every 4-6 children. If you feel you are being asked to supervise an inappropriate number of children, contact the shelter/agency staff for assistance or notify your ASVP Coordinator.


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Emergency Procedures o Familiarize yourself with emergency procedures for the shelter at the

beginning of your shift. Know the locations of appropriate exits from the Bright Space and meeting places in the event of a fire or other evacuation emergency.

o At the beginning of each shift, make sure that you know the identity of the on-site shelter staff member to contact if you need assistance and how to get in touch with them.

o If you are unsure of anything, don’t hesitate to ask! Part 5 A Typical Bright Space All-Star Volunteer Program Shift Although two days at the shelter/agency will never be the same, you should plan to begin the shift with a brief meeting including the following elements:

Introduce yourself and provide an opportunity for each of the children to tell his

or her name to the group. You should also briefly explain that as an All-Star Volunteer you are there to play with them.

A limited number of expectations that cover the basics of behavior (cleaning up, treating others with respect, listening to adults, etc.) may be positively phrased. Tell children what they should rather than should not be doing (e.g. “clean up after yourself”, rather than “don’t leave toys out” or “keep your hands to yourself”, instead of “don’t hit or push other children”).

Explain the basics of logical consequences as you interact with children. “If you are unable to play appropriately, I will help you make another choice”.

The elements of a initial meeting, if desired, should be consistent for all volunteers within the same shelter and tailored to meet the needs of different age groups, as follows:

Infants and Younger Toddlers – None

It is unreasonable to expect that children in this age group will be able to sit through a meting.

Introduce yourself to each child individually so that you can learn each other’s names.

Introduce rules as situations come up (e.g. if a child takes a toy out of another’s hand, talk about sharing or taking turns and redirect the child to another choice).

Older Toddlers and Preschoolers - Brief

As these children typically have increased attention spans, it is possible that they will be able to pay attention during a brief ‘meeting’ (3-5 minutes).

Songs and games are effective techniques for this age group. For example, instead of going around a circle and saying everyone’s name, you could sing the name game song (“John, John, bo Bon, banana fanna fo Fon” etc.)


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Share fewer than five rules. Remind children that your job while you are there is to keep them safe. That is the principle that guides all rules.

School-agers and Teens – Reasonable for the age

Children in this age group can be expected to listen and pay attention while you convene a brief meeting (5-8 minutes)

You should keep the meeting fun and short. (Use humor where appropriate.) Talk to children on their level in a respectful way. (They will lose interest if they

feel they are being ‘babied.) Ask school-agers or teens for their input on what they think the rules should be

and what activities they are interested in doing while you are there. Interacting with the children

The ASVP Volunteer shift should be devoted to free play, a specific activity you have planned to do with children, or a combination of both.

You can spend your time allowing children to explore the items available in the Bright Space. When doing this, keep the following in mind:

o Engage with the children. Get involved in what interests them, whether it is dramatic play, construction or art activities.

o Show interest and excitement in what they are doing. o Talk, talk, talk. Ask children questions and suggest ways to expand what

they are doing. Even if children are not talking back or are too young for language skills, you should narrate the action taking place. The more language children hear, the greater their communication skills will be.

o Encourage taking turns. Remind children that they will all have an opportunity to play with things that interest them.

If you have a planned activity, keep the following in mind: o Not all children will be interested in what you are doing. Make sure that

you give them appropriate alternatives for fun activities. o If you plan an activity, be sure you have all essential elements. Make a

plan for acquiring necessary items. (Talk to your shelter/agency partner or ASVP Coordinator in advance or ask your center director if you can collect donated items at the center to bring with you.)

Refer to Bright Ideas (on the BH intranet) in planning appropriate activities if you need assistance.

Ending your shift

Give children plenty of notice prior to a transition so that they know what to expect (e.g. “In three minutes it will be time to clean up. I will be leaving soon after.”).

If age-appropriate, gather the group together and incorporate a song or game to conclude your time together in the Bright Space.

Tell children that you enjoyed spending time with them. Be specific when telling children if/when they may see you again.


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Part 6 Scenarios* you may encounter: *Adapted from Preserving Childhood for Children in Shelters Situation 1 You have made a reasonable request of a child and the child refuses.

Response: Move quickly to the child and speak only to that child. Stoop or sit on a low chair so that you can have eye-to-eye contact with the child when you talk. Speak gently, but firmly in short, simple sentences. Restate the request as, “I need you to…” Repeat the statement if necessary.

Example: Tom refuses to clean up the blocks. It often helps to break the task into small

steps. Ask Tom to pick up as many blocks as his age and help him to count it out. If he still refuses, you can cover his hand with yours, guiding it gently to pick up the blocks. Once the task is complete, praise Tom for picking up. (If he resists hand-holding, do not force this support.)

Situation 2 A child is out of control. This could be a temper tantrum, running around the play area unproductively, throwing toys, grossly misusing art materials, or antagonizing other children. In this situation, you may need to ask for assistance.

Response: Request that the child stop whatever action he or she is performing and tell them the appropriate way to engage with whatever item they are choosing. If the behavior continues, remove the child from the situation and give them a chance to calm down (for example, ask them to look at a book in a quiet area). Continue repeating a gentle, but firm statement of the required behavior. You may have to sit with a child who is completely out of control. When the child is calmer, ask what caused the problem. Explain simply and calmly why the behavior is unacceptable.

Example:

Catrena may begin throwing play dishes in the kitchen area. When you ask her to stop the behavior, she throws the rest of the kitchen toys on the floor. Remove her from the situation and allow her time to calm down. Sit with her if necessary. Once she is calm, talk to her about what you observed and lead her back to selecting an activity that can calm her. Encourage Catrena to select other ways to express her anger or frustration.

Situation 3 Two children are having a conflict.

Response: Ask them to sit down together with you to talk. If the children are under the age of three, you may need to do the talking for them. Say, “We don’t


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hit or push. We use words to tell other friends what is wrong.” If age-appropriate, have the children tell each other what happened. You may need to explain what each child did to cause the conflict. Keep the explanation simple. Explore with the children what they should do next. They may wish to say, “I’m sorry”, but do not force them to do this.

Example: Emma has been playing with the road set and cars when Malik comes over,

rearranges Emma’s road plan and takes her car. Emma screams and grabs the road set away from Malik. Get both children to put down the toys they are holding and sit beside you. Ask each of them to tell you what happened. Remind Malik that he may not take a toy away from another child. Tell him that if he would like to play with the road set, he needs to ask Emma if she will play with him. Tell Emma that she can tell Malik that they can share, or that he can have the road set when she is finished. Malik must accept this response. Observe the children and make sure that they follow-through with their plan of either sharing or taking turns. If the children are younger, you should tell Malik that Emma is playing with that particular toy and then help him to choose something else.

Situation 4 A child is disrupting a group activity.

Response: You can ask the child to sit with you during this time. This may provide enough positive attention to encourage appropriate behavior. If the child continues to be disruptive, your volunteer partner may engage in an activity they can do away from the group.

Responding to Difficult Situations and/or Questions Sometimes while working with a child who is homeless, situations or questions may arise that are difficult to answer.

Some things you can say or do when difficult situations arise:

o Repeat what the child has told you with no judgment. o Give some simple words to the child’s obvious feelings

“I’ll bet you were scared.” “Did that make you mad or sad?” “I’ll bet that was hard for you. It would be hard for me.”

o Express sorrow when appropriate. o Ask a child, “Do you want to tell me more about that?” and accept a

refusal if that is the child’s response. o Say, “I don’t know, let me think about that,” when asked about something

to which you are unsure how to respond. o Refer some questions (personal, family-related, religious) to the child’s

parents. “I think you should ask your mother about that.” If possible, follow through with the parent.


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Remember that things that are difficult to understand are often the most important things in a child’s life at a particular time.

Suggestions for responding appropriately:

Listen in an accepting way to what a child tells you. Refrain from telling the child that what he or she is talking about is “silly”, “not

true” or “not nice”. Do not judge what or whom the child tells you about. Be as prepared as possible to respond to topics that might arise (i.e. sex or death).

Discuss this with your Bright Space All-STAR Volunteer Coordinator. Practice what you would say if a child asked you such a question.

Be sure you have as many facts as possible before doing or saying too much. Be honest. Do not tell a child something untrue or something you don’t know to

be true. Refrain from interfering in children’s private conversations unless it is necessary

to clear up distortions or calm fears. Ask others (shelter or agency personnel) for help if you feel unable to deal with a

situation. Do not tell the child more than he or she has asked for, or more than you estimate

the child can handle at the time.

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