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Difficult ConversationsPaul Kenny

EXPLETIVEDELETED

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So what makes a conversation difficult?

What makes a conversation difficult ?

StandardsImpediments to progressPerspective (clash of)Emotionally difficult to processEgo depleting

Perceived lack of effort Promises

Priorities Performance& Reward

Technical Differences

Zones OfControl

Unpopular Tasks

Perceived lack of effort Promises

Priorities Performance

Technical Differences

Zones OfControl

Unpopular Tasks

CustomerDemands

Work Style

StressTactical

Differences

Personal Loyalties

Opinions

Clash of egos

The web of human interactions in your business is the most complex issue you will face. The answers to all your product and customer issues begin here.

“Coding is the easy part”

Why difficult conversations will define your business

Guns‘N Roses

The Rolling Stones

“It was the beginning of the ‘80s when Mick started to become unbearable”Keith Richards “Life”

Difficult Conversations can help to avoid common start up failures

Fortune 2014

The Fish

“The fish always rots from the brain”

Eastern European Proverb

Molehills become mountains……..People really do make mountains of molehills

Unspoken conversations, the situation rarely gets better it just gets later…

Unresolved issues divide staff and create cliques

But it’s not just about avoiding the bad stuff

Zone Of Uncomfortable

Debate

Everything was fine but now it’s not…..

2009 2012 2013

Difficult Conversations are often a “Leadership Moment”

Why we fail to have the right conversation

Task Process

Our colleagues are our friends

Time

TIME TALENT

Emotion Logic

So what to do?

The big list of tactics for difficult conversations

1. Develop Perspective

Below The Line

Wisdom Sage

Stress Warrior

Creativity Magician

Balance Steward

Clarity Visionary

Anxiety Politician

Fear Casualty

2. Be aware of your state

3. Always have the conversation(never procrastinate)

4. Remember you can only change behaviors

5. Take responsibility for your perception and your feelings

What I noticed

What I believe

How I feel

A Friendly Word!

• Behaviour

• Consequences

• Options

• Next Steps

6. Create team rules

7. Find Interesting new ways to address contentious issues

8. Make process reviews as regular as progress reviews

9. Don’t be afraid to ask a third party to help

10. Stay adaptable (position vs. principle)

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. -- Winston Churchill