BIBLE STUDY LESSONWINTER 2012

Lesson 20 – What does it mean to be a Christian?Relationships in a Family

Introduction

What do you think of when you think of family?◦ Relationship between husband and wife.▪What are some of the difficulties in marriage? What are some of the things people struggle with? How about you?◦Relationship between parents and children.▪What are some of the difficulties in raising childen?▪How should children behave toward their parents?▪How should parents treat their children?◦Relationship with our own parents.▪What are some of the difficulties in relating to our parents?▪How should we treat them?

◦Tonight we'll read & discuss what the Bible says about family. We won't be able to answer all these questions but we will at least look at the basics of each relationship. Next week Dr. Eckman will be here to talk about all of this further.

Marriage: the relationship between a husband and wife

Read: Ephesians 5:21-33

Wives: The first thing most people notice in this section is the instruction to wives (v. 22): “Wives, submit to your husbands....” That is not the modern way of thinking and is offensive to most modern women. But notice:◦The writer (Paul) only gives 2 verses of instruction to wives. He gives 8 verses of instruction to husbands. Apparently Paul thought that men needed extra instruction on how to treat their wives.◦Read v. 33 again: In the end, Paul says for wives to respect their husbands. He was not telling them to be servants or do everything their husbands told them to do, but to treat their husbands with respect.◦Look the verse (21) before Paul's instruction for wives to submit to their husbands: “Submit to one another out of respect for Christ.” ▪Yes, wives are to submit to their husbands but first, a husband and wife are to submit to each other. That is not easy.

Husbands: These are powerful instructions Paul gives to husbands: “Love your

wife as much as you love yourself.” How difficult is that!◦What do you think about v. 31? That sentence is a quote from the Old Testament.▪How does this compare with the Chinese idea of marriage and parents?▪What is one of the common complaints wives in China have? (mother-in-laws getting between them & their husbands)▪What is one of the most problematic relationships in marriage in China (in much of the traditional societies)? (mother-in-law / daughter-in-law) ◦Why do you think the Bible says this?▪Would this kind of relationship help to improve your marriage?

Read: Hebrews 13:4

How does God say we are to live? Why?

Read: Romans 13:9-10

There are many English words for sexual relationships outside of marriage: adultery, infidelity, extra-marital affair, unfaithfulness, cheating. Unfaithfulness is a problem in both the US and in China.◦94% of Americans disapprove of sex outside of marriage but 25% of husbands and 10-15% of wives report being unfaithful. Unfaithfulness is involved in 90% of first-time marriages.◦The divorce rate in China is over 20% according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs and unfaithfulness is involved in many of those cases.What is the relationship between “Do not commit adultery” (be unfaithful) and the end of v. 9-v.10?

Children: the relationship between parents and children

Read: Ephesians 6:1-4

Children: This is an easy section for parents. In fact, those of us who are parents love this part: “Children, obey your parents....Honor your father and mother.” ◦There is no conflict between this and the Chinese view of children. Most Americans also agree with this.

◦But look at the next section:

Parents: “Do not exasperate your children...”

◦Exasperate means to really irritate, frustrate, or make someone angry.◦How does this compare to the Chinese idea of parenting? To most people's idea?▪We focus on the command to children but God also gives a command to parents.Instead of focusing on making our children obey, we need to also be careful not to make our children frustrated by the things we say to them or demand of them.▪What God is saying to us is that both children and parents have a responsibility, and our responsibility as parents is more than just making our children obey.

Parents: the relationship between us and our parents

Read: 1 Timothy 5:1-4, 5:8

Us: ◦How are we to treat older men and women? Younger men and women?◦Who is to receive special treatment?◦How are children and grandchildren to treat their older family members?▪Why?◦How important is it that we take care of our family members? ▪What does God compare it to?

Summary:

Can you summarize what the Bible says about relationships in a family? Between a husband and wife? Between parents and their children? Between our own parents and us?

Why and how are we to live this way? ◦To please God◦By God's power, not our own.

What do you think?

Don't forget to come back next week to hear Dr. Eckman talk more about all of this.