Battle Report: 080609: The cleansing of the planet Garrage.

The forces of righteousness, valor, and overall sense of goodness, were commanded by veteran General Ian, and the not so veteran, but very general Matt.

Together they commanded 1500 pts of combined Praetorian Guardsmen, and Kenwick Chapter Ultramarines.

The Emperor is on their side, so who could possibly stand against them?

They have A Dreadnought, they have a Psyker, and they have the rulebooks on their side.

The Evil insidiousness that is Space Elf stinks up the other side of the battlefield. Eldar are bad, mm-kay. They are commanded by those twins of evil (in name only) Little and Big Dave.

At their wicked command they have 1500 pts of Eldar pirates.

They have mystic web weavers on their side, the very essence of evil.

They have tools of war, but do they even know how to use them?

Turn One

After deciding the table edge, both forces faced off across the loooooong edge of the battlefield. Deployments were set, tactics were discussed, “What side would you like to set up on?” “It’s your garage, I’ll let you decide.”

The Ultramarines had the higher strategy rating, and moved first. This was to be the only time they had initiative for the rest of the battle. Dreadnought Hassium fired and damaged the Eldar Dreaddy. At this point the only combats were to be at long range.

Big Dave, under Little Dave’s Psychic guidance, proceeded to fire back at Matt’s Dreaddy, promptly causing it to favour one leg all of a sudden, and stumble off in a random direction for the rest of the game. Well at least until the next turn.

The Praetorians did what guardsmen do best, dig in and pepper the enemy with enfilade fire from a defilade position. That is fire at the enemy even when you cant see them.

Turn Two

Ian drew first blood for the battle, taking out a Striking Scorpion with his dedicated Mortar teams. A resource invaluable to any artillery based army.

This was however shadowed by the Eldar’s Psychic phase, which promptly saw Little Dave force Matt’s Dreaddy to exit stage right into an awaiting vortex down town. Apparently he had some place to be.

This was the beginning of the end for the Ultramarines, as Big Dave used his War Walker to make Cpt. Mathias disappear into a laser induced mist. 7 wounds worth of damage and the poor captain absorbed 3 before taking a dirt nap. It did not stop there as a squad of Dark Reapers decided it would be humourous to obliterate Matt’s Veteran Sgt as well. With the Ultramarines leadership removed in one turn, it was going to be a long battle.

Turn Three

A largely uneventful turn unless you count Ian’s superb Mortar crews dealing death to a bunch of girly Dire Avengers, causing them to run away crying.

Turn Four

This turn was a very bloody affair for both forces as many casualties were suffered and little mercy given. For the Ultramarines this turn was about consolidating forces, and getting the frack out of harms way.Again Ian’s Mortars prove their worth as they struck low the Striking Scorpions Exarch. And again his heavy weapon crews dish death from a hidden position, taking out the Dark Reapers in a revenge style killing on behalf of the Marines.

Suddenly, Little Dave’s Warp Spiders appear out of the Warp like…spiders? Cutting down a plethora of Praetorians and decimating heavy weapons placements. Before disappearing back into the Warp, but luckily for the forces of good, only one emerged out the other side. Goes to show, if you mess with the power of evil, and push too far, you might fall foul of the Warp and get sucked into your own black hole.Turn Five

In a typical stiff upper lip and resolute fashion, Ian orders his valiant Mortar crew to continue firing to great effect as they explode a duo of Howling Banshee’s. To add insult to injury, his Krak missile launcher hits true. Sending the Eldar Dreadnought stumbling in the direction of their Psyker, before blowing to glorious pieces. Regrettably the Psyker survived.

In response, the Eldar fry an unfortunate Ogryn warrior, whose only crime was to fight for the forces of right. And the War Walker thirsting for revenge, blasts the Krak launcher operator into the next life.

Turn Six

The Ultramarines stop cowering like little girls in the bushes, and sally forth on the offensive. Though what was most offensive was the way they were pretty much shredded not long after. *sigh*

Big Dave took out three Praetorians forcing them to take a morale test, which they failed, and ran away.

Turn Seven

Matt’s Keystone Marine Squad, attacked (and missed) everything in sight. I say again. *sigh*

For what it was worth, the Marines passed a morale test and stayed solid even after Big Dave took out three more of them in one go.

Turn Eight

Finally one of the Marines (a ring-in Techmarine, played by Lt Varras), managed to hit something and took out a Fire Dragon.

Little Dave failed a charge against the Techmarine, and for his trouble lost one of his Scorpions. But in retribution style the Marine was killed by another Fire Dragon.

In a final resolute move for the turn, Little Dave’s remaining Warp Spider, swoops in, attacks, misses but manages not to get sucked into his own black hole.

Turn Nine

Matt takes out the last two Scorpions with Brothers Hydrogen and Lithium, while Ian does for the last Howling Banshee.

Tragically, the Warp Spider butchers the remaining hero Mortar crew, the Banner Bearer, and anything nearby.

Big Dave takes out the Marine Apothecary leaving just two Marines on the field.

Captain Caine finally bites the big one, as he was used for laser target practice. Turn Ten

The final turn of the battle saw Matt finally take out some opponents, as the Fire Dragon Exarch was filled full of lead.

Ian gave the last Warp Spider a permanent dirt nap.

An Ogryn warrior was cut down needlessly by Big Dave.

Post Battle Summary

Well it was close. Only a few points in the end, which was interesting considering the Marines were reduced to two models.

As far as we could determine, the Praetorians and Marines defeated the Eldar by 230 pts to 215 pts. Or something like that (we weren’t really sure).