assertiveness

MAJOR CONCEPTS and MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSDEFINITIONS

ASSERTIVENESS

The quality of being confident in stating one’s

opinions or needs.

MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS


TRANSACTIONAL

ANALYSIS

A technique for analyzing

discussions.


LIFEPOSITIONS

An individuals assumption about self in relation to

others.


PASSIVE Inactive, Acted on.


NEGATIVEASSERTION

Accepting negative aspects

about oneself.


AGGRESSIVE

Active, Bold, Pushy.


BROKENRECORD

A technique involving

repeating what one wants.


FOGGING Agreeing with the truth.


NEGATIVE INQUIRY

Asking for more information

about oneself.

BARRIERS TO BARRIERS TO ASSERTIVENESSASSERTIVENESS

1. 1. SEX ROLE SOCIALIZATIONSEX ROLE SOCIALIZATIONMEN WOMEN

AggressiveCompetitiveIndependent

ObjectiveAnalytical

Task OrientedConfident

Self Disciplined andEmotionally controlled

PassiveDependentSubjectiveIntuitive

EmpatheticSensitive

Interpersonally OrientedWeak

Inconsistent andEmotionally Unstable

2. 2. NURSING SOCIALIZATION PROCESS NURSING SOCIALIZATION PROCESS AND THE NATURE OF NURSING AND THE NATURE OF NURSING

VALUES TAUGHTVALUES TAUGHT1.Subservience

2. Sacrifice3. Humility4. Service

3. 3. FEMALE-MALE ROLE COMPETITION and FEMALE-MALE ROLE COMPETITION and FEMALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIP FEMALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIP

PROBLEMSPROBLEMS

MEN MEN are more competitive with women than other men

WOMEN WOMEN are more competitive with women than with men

QUEEN BEE QUEEN BEE and TRASHING TRASHING SYNDROMESYNDROME emerge

What is QUEEN BEEQUEEN BEE?

QUEEN BEEQUEEN BEE

• The queen bee identifies with men, enjoys being told that she is different from most women, and feels superior to other women.

What is TRASHING SYNDROMETRASHING SYNDROME?

TRASHING SYNDROMETRASHING SYNDROME

• Trashing is a form of character assassination that divides women against one another.


• Rather than exposing disagreements to resolve differences, trashing is done to destroy.

• The trasher may give misinformation to others about what the victim does and thinks or tell her lies about what others think of her.


•Whatever method is used, trashing is being manipulative, dishonest and destructive.

TRANSACTIONAL TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSISANALYSIS

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSISTRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS

• Transactional Analysis is a technique that can be used by nurses for analyzing and understanding behaviors.

• Developed by Eric Berne and popularized by Thomas Harris, Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward.

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSISTRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS

Transactional Analysis sprung from:

Freud’s elements of the

psyche

Berne’s ego states

1. Id2. Ego3. Super Ego

1.Parent2.Child3.Adult

EGO STATESEGO STATESParent, Child and Adult Parent, Child and Adult

PARENT EGO STATEPARENT EGO STATE

• Controls and is the source of values, opinions, rules, regulations and social conscience.

2 major types of P.E.S.

1. Nurturing Parent1. Nurturing Parent2. Critical Parent2. Critical Parent

CHILD EGO STATECHILD EGO STATE

• Dominated by emotions and is the feeling state.• It is the “Id” ego state where

strong feelings are triggered by immediate experiences.

CHILD EGO STATECHILD EGO STATE

2 major types of C.E.S.

1. Natural (Happy)

Spontaneous, Trusting, Joyful,

Adventurous

2. Adapted (Destructive)

Suppressed, May experience anger, rebellion, fear or

conformity

ADULT EGO STATEADULT EGO STATE

• Monitors one’s behavior and is the unemotional, thinking and problem solving state.• Collects info, sets goals,

compares alternatives, makes decisions and plans and tests reality.

Every individual exhibits behavior from the 3 ego states at different times.

A healthy individual maintains a balance

among them.

Unfortunately, some people are dominated by one or two ego states and are likely to create problems for

managers and colleagues.

TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS


• Interaction among people as they participate as Parent, Child or Adult.• A transaction or an

observation unit is an exchange between people that consists of complimentary or crossed types.

COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTION

CROSSED TRANSACTION

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ADULT-to-ADULTCOMPLEMENTARY

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PARENT-to-PARENTCOMPLEMENTARY

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CHILD-to-CHILDCOMPLEMENTARY

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PARENT-to-CHILDCOMPLEMENTARY

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• Transactions usually proceed in a programmed series as

1. Rituals (Procedures)2. Pastimes

What are RITUALSRITUALS?

RITUALSRITUALS

• Rituals are series of simple complementary transactions that provide mutual stroking with no real commitment.

RITUALSRITUALS

• Greeting rituals like Hi! How are you? I am fine! are used often where the

form has become more important than the content.

RITUALSRITUALS

• The person that goes from office to office participating in rituals may get promoted because he or she is a “good guy”.

RITUALSRITUALS

• People who work hard to develop themselves may become apathetic when they realize socializing is more effective for obtaining promotions than hard work.

What are PASTIMESPASTIMES?

PASTIMESPASTIMES

• Pastimes are pleasant ways to pass time with others to learn if you have enough in common to warrant further interaction.

PASTIMESPASTIMES

• Common small talk includes topics such as cooking, fashion, costs, sports, mutual acquaintances and recreation.

PASTIMESPASTIMES

QUESTION:QUESTION:When do pastimes become a

problem for the organization? ANSWER:When PASTIMES become an

alternative to WORK

GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING


“A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well defined, predictable outcome.”

- Eric Berne in Games People

Play


• Games have a high stroke or recognition potential but the pay off is usually negative.


• While playing games, people dwell on their own sorrows and inadequacies, make mistakes, catch others making mistakes, pass the buck and fail to meet the obligations.


• People receive negative strokes and get hurt while real problems go unsolved.


• Productivity is limited because people use their energies to play games instead of getting the job done.


People need strokes, and negative strokes are better than no strokes.


• Consequently, in work environments that do not provide positive strokes, people have a need to play games.

• Games discourage openness, honesty and intimacy.


• Games take many forms. *Games that blame others

include:

“If it weren’t for you.”“See what you made me

do.”


*Games that attack others include:

“Now I got you, SOB.”“Blemish”

“Bear Trapper”“Rapo”

“Let’s you and him fight”


• On the other hand, self pity is reinforced by games such as:

“Poor me.”“Kick me.”“Stupid.”

“Wooden leg.”“Harried.”

“Lunch bag game”


• Games always involve putting someone down.• To decrease games in the org,

one must stop putting oneself and others down.


• One should not play the complementary role, but should give and receive positive strokes and invest time in activities and intimacy.


• Manager should integrate the goals of workers and organization and decrease boredom through job enrichment and personnel development.


• With good organization and management, positive strokes can become an intrinsic part of the job.


Managers should foster an “I’m OK, you’re OK” atmosphere.


Intimacy is an open sharing of experience with others; usually by people with close relationships but somehow by strangers.

Activities such as working and learning are goal directed and have a high stroke potential.

LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONS


Life positions are more permanent than ego states.


• As individuals mature, they make assumptions about themselves and others.


Four Position Result1. “I’m OK, you’re OK”

2. “I’m OK, you’re not OK”

3. “I’m not OK, you’re OK”

4. “I’m not OK, you’re not OK”

LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m OK, you’re OK.I’m OK, you’re OK.

I’m Ok, you’re OKIndividuals are interdependent with each

other and the environment

Happy and ActiveWith a positive outlook on life who like

reinforcement for being OK but are NOT dependent on it

They use the happy child and nurturing parent ego states

LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m OK, you’re not OK.I’m OK, you’re not OK.

I’m Ok, you’re not OKThey do not believe they can rely on anyone

but themselves

They think people are worthless and are likely to be enemies and consequently tend

to blame othersThe critical parent ego state is dominant

Supervises people closely because they think they cannot be trusted

LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m not OK, you’re OK.I’m not OK, you’re OK.

I’m not Ok, you’re OKBurdened with self-defeating attitudes and

a lack of confidenceTake a psychologically inferior stand to

othersLess competent

Less influential than others

LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m not OK, you’re not OK.I’m not OK, you’re not OK.

I’m not Ok, you’re not OKMaladjusted

Thinks they are worthless and so are others

Lacks confidence in themselves and trust in others

Suspicious and anxiousDisconnected from others

Miserable and tend to give up

ASSERTIVE ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESTECHNIQUES

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES

• Communication styles are commonly passive, aggressive, or assertive.


PASSIVE PERSONS

Self-denying, inhibited and allows others to choose for

them.

AGGRESSIVE PERSONS

Self-enhancing at others’ expense

ASSERTIVE PERSONS

Self-enhancing


PASSIVE PERSONS

They have a weak, hesitant voice,

downcast eyes and fidgety hands, and

They nod frequently.

*Tend to be at a loss for words

*Do not say what they really mean

*Use many apologetic words

*They hope that people will

understand what they want without

telling them


ACTIVE PERSONS The person is likely

to stand with hands in hips, feet apart,

narrowed eyes, pointing a finger

and talking superior,

demanding, authoritarian

manner.

*Loud and uses loaded subjective

words*Makes accusations

*Sends “you” messages that blame

others

*A flippant, sarcastic style with an air of

superiority and rudeness is common


ASSERTIVE PERSONS They use eye

contact and spontaneous verbal

expressions with appropriate

gestures and facial expressions while speaking in a well modulated voice.

*Say what they want in direct statements

*Make honest statements about

their feelings*Use objective

words

*Attentive listener who give

impression of caring

BROKENRECORD

A technique involving

repeating what one wants.


ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESBroken Record

Manager: I expect you to get to work on time.

Staff Nurse: But I’m a night person. I stay up late, and it’s difficult to get up so early to come to work. I’m so tired that I shut off my alarm and go back to sleep. Then when I do get up, I stumble around in the dark to find my clothes so I won’t wake my husband.

Manager: You are scheduled to work the day shift this rotation, and I expect you to be at work on time. If you are a night person, would you like to be assigned at the night shift permanently?

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESBroken Record

Staff Nurse: No. I wouldn’t be able to see my husband then. He works 9am to 9pm and he gets home about 9:30pm. I would have to come to work at 10:30 and I could only see him for an hour. I would get home just in time for him to go to work.

Manager: You are scheduled to work the day shift this rotation, and I expect you to be at work on time. However, we could assign you to the evening shift permanently. Would you want that?

Staff Nurse: Working the evening shift would allow me to see my husband after work and to sleep in. Yes, I would prefer the evening shift.

Manager: I will see how quickly we can get your schedule changed to permanent evenings. I do expect you to be here by 7am until we get your schedule changed

FOGGING Agreeing with the truth.

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESFogging

Staff Nurse: You scheduled me to double back from evenings to days twice in a 2-week time schedule.

Manager: I see that I scheduled you to double back the first Wednesday and the second Friday (agreeing with the truth).

Staff Nurse: When I double back, I have less than 7 hours for sleep, I get tired, have trouble functioning, and fear making mistakes.


Manager: I understand that you get tired when you double back and fear making mistakes. It seems logical that one would make more mistakes when tired than when alert (agreeing with the odds).

Staff Nurse: We need a policy to prevent having just one shift off between shifts.

Manager: I agree. We do need staffing policies that would provide for adequate rest periods between shifts (agreeing in principle).


NEGATIVEASSERTION

Accepting negative aspects

about oneself.

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Assertion

Staff Nurse: You’re new uniform really reveals how fat you are.

Manager: I’m overweight because I eat too much. I eat just about everything in sight except the kitchen sink. I’ve seen the cat get worried (negative assertion).

Staff Nurse: Well, that new uniform sure makes you look like a blimp.

Manager: These new styles don’t compliment my figure worried (negative assertion).

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Assertions

NEGATIVE INQUIRY

Asking for more information

about oneself.

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Inquiry

Staff Nurse: You don’t look good today.

Manager: Is it me or what I am wearing?

Staff Nurse: It’s your face. You look so tired.

Manager: I don’t feel tired. What about my face makes me look tired?

Staff Nurse: Your eyes look so tired. They’re so dark. There are bags under them.

Manager: What can I do to make them look less tired?

Staff Nurse: If the problem isn’t fatigue, I guess you could use a crème cosmetic over the bags and use light instead of dark-colored eye shadow.

ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Inquiry

In a social sense, assertiveness is the ability to communicate with others about who you are, how you live, what you do, and what you want and the ability to make them feel comfortable talking about themselves.

“NURSE LEADERS SHOULD BEHAVE ASSERTIVELY TO ACHIEVE POSITIVE SELF-

IMAGES AND MAINTAIN AN I’M OK POSITION.”

assertiveness

Documents

definitions major concepts

rituals rituals rituals

pastimes pastimes

child complementary

assertiveness major

parent complementary

major types of

adult complementary